AN: Yes, you will still get your regular Sunday update. However, I finally got past the writer's block on chapter 28 today and wanted to celebrate!
As June gave way to July, things in the Grant's household had fallen into a pattern. Yes, there were variations as with any family. Loud noises could still startle Jack, Elizabeth or both of them. The kids still had their fights. Nathan and Elizabeth still had awkward moments as they navigated their relationship. Nights could be interrupted by Jack's nightmares and Elizabeth still had nights that guilt about having caused her son that kind of emotional pain kept her awake.
However, the darkness of the spring was lifting. Even with all the changes that had taken place, Nathan was looking forward to his father soon being in Hope Valley with them. There had been a time that he never would have accepted that willingly, let alone look forward to it. However, the home in Calgary was in the process of being sold. His father had called this morning to tell him that the deal should be finalized the following Wednesday. Knowing that his father staying with him even temporarily was no longer an option, with four people in the small home, Nathan had started inquiring about places for his Dad to stay. Gabriel had suggested that Archie take the apartment over the infirmary which he had been using. Anticipating needing a place for the both of them after the wedding in September, Gabriel had taken over the rent of the row house the Simmons had been occupying. He had anticipated Faith staying there alone until the wedding. However, Faith was staying with Fiona until the wedding, saying that the row home would feel too empty for her living alone. Gabriel said he would move out of the infirmary apartment into the row home. Nathan thanked his friend, glad that the issue had been easy to resolve. Nathan paid the immediate rent due, knowing that once the sale of the Calgary home went through, Archie would have his share of that money to live off of until he got settled in Hope Valley.
It was with a light heart that Nathan led Newton out of the livery that afternoon. For the first time in a long time, life seemed to be going well. Elizabeth didn't seem to regret marrying him and her and Jack seemed to be healing. Ally would have a woman in her life that she could go to as she navigated her teen years. Nathan had found a place to call home and his best friend was settling in the same town. He was at peace with his choice to leave the Mountie and excited about starting his woodworking business. He felt certain that with Lee's help and guidance he would be successful.
About to mount Newton, Nathan spotted Rosemary heading in his direction. Instead of mounting, Nathan began to lead his horse toward the woman.
"Can I walk with you for a bit, Nathan?" Rosemary asked, stopping as Nathan approached.
"Of course," Nathan replied, having gotten use to starting a set of rounds while walking with Rosemary a few times every week. Rosemary had started doing so after the wedding. Nathan knew it was the woman's way of checking in on him, much the same way she did with Elizabeth by stopping in for afternoon tea.
"Lee said you expect your Dad, soon?" Rosemary asked casually as she fell into step beside him.
Nathan nodded. "He'll be coming as soon as the sale of Mom's house is final next week. Gabriel is moving to the row house he is renting and Dad will take the apartment above the infirmary."
"Good," Rosemary replied. "It will be good for both of you to be near each other. Lee is excited to discuss a business opportunity with your Dad. Has he mentioned it to you?"
"No," Nathan replied.
"He hasn't made an official offer yet. I think he wants to be sure he can do it before Elizabeth hears anything about it. He does not want to take a chance of disappointing her, but my husband wants to buy the saloon and turn it into a hotel and events venue. We already hold so many of our community gatherings there anyway. It will be nice that it will be more family friendly. He is hoping your father might be interested in managing it."
Nathan tried to picture his father running any business. Thoughts of his Dad's troubles while working with the bank when he was a child came back. His initial thought was that Lee would be taking a risk but Nathan quickly pushed the thought aside. His Dad had truly seemed to have gotten his life together this time. The man needed his support, not his doubts.
"I think people would like to see the building open again," Nathan replied, deciding it was a safe answer. The saloon had been closed since Lucas' plea deal had gone through. Bill had hired Gustav at the café, allowing him to take a step back from the cooking responsibilities there again.
"Yes," Rosemary said. "I am thinking on attempting to start a drama troupe. Hope Valley has grown since my last attempt. I might find some people who are interested. Ally and Opal seemed interested when I mentioned it to them."
"If Ally is interested in drama then that is my sister coming out in her, not my influence," Nathan said. "Colleen always was a social butterfly."
"I think I would have liked your sister," Rosemary commented.
"I think the two of you would have been friends," Nathan told her.
The pair was away from the buildings of the town now, alone on the road. "How are you doing, Nathan?"Rosemary asked, changing the conversation to the topic she truly initiated these little talks for - a chance for Nathan to express his feelings in regards to his new family.
"I'm doing fine," Nathan replied, the response almost automatic.
Beside him, Rosemary smiled, having anticipated the typical response. Not put off, she just asked another question. "Elizabeth expressed concern to me that you sometimes suddenly disappear on her when we had tea the other day. I told her it was probably nothing for her to be concerned about, but I thought you might like to know she has been noticing," the woman said, the tone in her voice telling Nathan she was stating a fact and not accusing him of anything. "I hope I was right," she finished, giving Nathan a chance to express himself without pushing too far.
Nathan sighed. "I am not trying to give Elizabeth something to worry about," he told the woman. "However, sometimes the urge to take her in my arms and hold her close to me, or press my lips against hers seems overwhelming. I am afraid that if I don't put distance between us that I will do just that. We all seem to be adjusting to living in the same house and I don't want to ruin that."
Rosemary reached out and took the hand not holding Newton's reigns. She gave it a gentle squeeze as she spoke. "That is very honorable of you," she told him. "It must be hard having feelings for her that you are afraid to express."
"It is," Nathan admitted. "But the alternative just wasn't acceptable. I would rather deal with keeping the depth of my feelings for her hidden and being able to know she is safe and provided for than worry about what might happen otherwise."
"Just be careful you do not hold back too much, Nathan. You might both miss out on something wonderful then," Rosemary told him.
"I don't want to hurt her, Rosemary. Lucas forced himself on her. I do not want to ever put her in a position where she feels like I am doing the same thing. I have already accidently scared both her and Jack with just being in a bad mood."
"I know. Elizabeth has told me," Rosemary admitted. "She also told me how you addressed Jack's fears with patience and kindness and asked her to forgive you. Do you think that Lucas bothered doing that if he saw his action upset either of them? More than anything right now, Elizabeth needs to know that she is loved. Show Elizabeth your love for her, Nathan. Reach out a hand to brush her hair if it feels right. Give her a kiss on the cheek every now and then."
"And if she doesn't welcome them, Rosemary? I promised her I would be okay with a marriage based on friendship. If I don't honor that, how am I any better than Lucas?"
"You'll know if they make her uncomfortable, Nathan, by her reaction. As observant as you are, you will not miss her reaction. I think I know you well enough that if you went to brush back her hair and she drew away, you would stop. That is what makes you better than Lucas," Rosemary told him. "Offer her the little gestures, Nathan. It might not happen overnight but I think if you do, Elizabeth will let you know if and when she is ready for something more."
"And if she is never ready?" Nathan asked.
"Then have you really lost anything?" Rosemary asked him.
Rosemary let the last question go unanswered. She didn't need an answer. She knew that they both knew the answer. However, Rosemary did have one final thing she wanted to say.
"And perhaps you will both find that your broken hearts get mended," Rosemary told Nathan. She gave the hand she still held a final squeeze. They had reached the road she needed to take to head home and Rosemary intended to do just that. "Stay safe on rounds, Nathan," she told him as she finally released his hand.
"Thank you, Rosemary," Nathan told her, knowing that she would know the thanks was meant for more than just her final wish of safety.
As Rosemary headed up the road to her house, Nathan finally mounted Newton. From the saddle, Nathan continued to watch Rosemary, planning on keeping an eye on his friend until she disappeared from sight. Knowing he was, Rosemary turned right before going around a bend in the road and gave him a final wave. Only then did Nathan signal Newton to move forward so he could do a final set of rounds before heading home himself.
As she headed upstairs, Elizabeth was thankful that Lee had given the men the weekend off from working on the addition to the house. Yes, she was getting sick of hitting her shins on things trying to maneuver around the furniture in the crowded bedroom she shared with Jack but right then, no construction meant she was able to take a much needed nap.
The four of them had spent the morning playing games outside. At one point during a game of tag while Jack was it, Elizabeth had stopped while watching Nathan interact with the boy. After spending a little time keeping just out of reach of the boy, Nathan had pretended to trip falling to the ground so that Jack could tag him it. The boy had gleefully tagged Nathan by falling on top of Nathan, who was lying on his back. Nathan's reaction had been to lift the boy up in the air, getting giggles from Jack. Elizabeth marveled at the change in Nathan, whom she had always seen at being serious. She remembered Ally's comment about the 'fun Uncle Nathan' before Fort Clay. If this was him, Elizabeth could see why Ally missed him.
They had then had lunch together. After lunch, Ally had wanted to go pick berries to bake a pie. She had taken Jack with her. When Elizabeth had mentioned maybe taking a nap, Nathan had encouraged the idea. He assured her that he would be around to wait for the children to come home.
Passing Nathan's bedroom, Elizabeth paused. Other than her and Jack trying to share the small bedroom, the house was adequate for their small family for now. In fact, the crowded house now felt more like home than the big house Lucas had built for her ever did. If it wasn't for her not sharing a bedroom with her husband, getting an addition built to the house would not be necessary.
Was she being silly insisting on a separate bedroom than her husband?
The night Lucas had tied her to the bed and had sex with her came flooding back. Along with those memories came Faith and Rosemary both telling her that what had happened to her was rape. Despite that, she was still having trouble associating that word with Lucas' actions. Perhaps it was because on some level she still thought she had deserved what happened to her.
Semantics aside, it was still Nathan who had found her that night. He had already seen her at her lowest point. Sharing a bedroom could not be any more humiliating than that.
Broaching the subject was a whole different manner. Besides, perhaps Nathan would not want to share the bedroom with her. Like she had told Rosemary, there were moments when she thought Nathan might show her some affectionate gesture but he never did. He usually silently walked off to be by himself right afterwards. He may have married her to save her, but perhaps he was not past the hurt she had caused him.
Elizabeth moved on. Entering the bedroom she shared with her son, she stretched out on her bed. The physical toll of the morning won out and she was soon fast asleep.
When she awoke about an hour later, Elizabeth felt refreshed. She went downstairs, finding the house just as quiet as when she had gone upstairs. There was no reason to be alarmed about the kids not being back quiet yet. Or perhaps they were just outside with Nathan. The berry patch Nathan and the kids had located was about a fifteen minute walk away. With Jack tagging along, it had probably taken the children longer.
However, Nathan was clearly not in the house either. Stepping outside onto the front porch, Elizabeth surveyed the yard. There was no sign of her husband or the children. Her eyes however did find the workshop. Elizabeth had yet to step foot in the workshop. Despite it seeming big for a hobby, remembering the beautiful plaque that Nathan had made for the library, she assumed the workshop was simply a place where Nathan could pursue his hobby. Wondering if he was there now, Elizabeth stepped from the porch and headed across the yard.
Reaching the workshop, Elizabeth reached for the door knob. As her hand grasped it, she paused, wondering if she was intruding somewhere that she shouldn't. Perhaps Nathan would not want to be disturbed here.
"Is somewhere there?"
At Nathan's question, Elizabeth opened the door. Even if she was intruding, it was too late to retreat now.
"Sorry," Elizabeth said as she stepped into the building. "I hope I am not intruding," she said, even as she took in the inside of the shop. It sure didn't look like it was there to simply house a hobby with all the tools, benches, wood and other materials that were contained inside. Nor was it a plaque that Nathan was working on, but a chair which he was currently sanding.
"You are not intruding," Nathan assured her. "You are welcome to come see me here any time you want. I only warned the kids away because I don't want them to get hurt."
Yes, Elizabeth conceded as she took in the shop, there were a lot of things the kids could get hurt on. "Are you making that for someone?" Elizabeth asked, nodding to the chair.
"Bill, actually," Nathan said, setting his sander aside as he addressed Elizabeth. "When he first told me he not only had this house for me and Ally to rent when we returned to Hope Valley, but had already made plans with Lee to build my wood shop for my new business right here, I asked him what I could do to thank him. He said he wanted a new chair so I thought that would be one of the first things I built."
"New business?" Elizabeth asked, confused. "What about being a Mountie?"
"I'm not signing a new contract with the Mounties in August when my current one is up, Elizabeth. I thought you knew?"
Elizabeth shook her head, his words about quitting the Mounties for her from a couple of years ago coming back. "Please don't quit on my account," she said, unshed tears blurring her vision.
Nathan moved around the chair and reached for her hands. Holding her hands gently in his as he stood before her, he looked into her eyes as he spoke. "I am not quitting because of you, Elizabeth, though I meant those words a couple of years ago. I would have quit for you. However, my decision not to sign a new contract with the Mounties was made before I even returned to Hope Valley. Both Bill and Lee can verify that if you need the reassurance. I made that choice for Ally. I wanted to be around more as she grew up. I did not want her to have to worry about me when I am out on assignments."
Elizabeth felt a wave of relief. She didn't need Bill or Lee to verify Nathan's statement. Nathan would not lie about something like that. Besides, wasn't this shop verification enough. Apparently others had known about Nathan's choice.
"That is why Gabriel was offered a permanent posting here?" Elizabeth murmured, realization washing over her.
"Yes," Nathan told her.
"I feel like an idiot that I didn't know," Elizabeth commented.
Letting go of one of her hands, Nathan reached up and gently wiped away a few tears that had slipped onto her cheeks.
"You have had other things on your mind, Elizabeth. I should not have assumed you already knew about my plan to change careers. Things may get tight at the beginning but I have always enjoyed working with wood. I think I can make a decent living selling furniture pieces and perhaps plaques and carvings as well. I promised to support you and Jack, and I will do whatever I need to do to make that happen. My share of the money from selling the house in Calgary will help. Bill and Lee have both been generous helping with the start up costs and have promised to be patient about getting paid back, if necessary."
Elizabeth nodded, though none of that had been a fear. She knew Nathan would work hard to support her and the children, no matter what that work looked like.
"We'll have the money from the sale of the oil business as well. Bill told me yesterday the funds will be available to me at the start of the week," Elizabeth told him. Henry and Mike had partnered up to buy Gowen Petroleum, though the saloon and the house remained without prospective buyers.
Nathan shook his head, even as he let go of her hand. "I promised I would support you and Jack and I will. That money is yours to do with as you want."
"Then I want to share it with my husband. We can decide together how best to put it to use, whether that is helping you establish a business that will support us in the long run or just see us through until that time comes. Though I would like to set some aside for Jack to go to college if he wants."
"We will do just that," Nathan promised. "We can also sit down at some point next week and I will tell you all the details of my business venture and we can decide our next steps together," he told her.
"I would appreciate that," Elizabeth said, grateful that he wanted to include her. Lucas had shut her off from his businesses and their finances. She realized now that it was simply one more way for her ex-husband to control her.
Glancing past Nathan she saw a piece of wood on a table covered by a piece of cloth. "Are you working on something else?" she asked. Looking from it to Nathan, she saw the hesitation in her expression.
Nathan sighed and then motioned her to follow him. Stopping in front of the wood, he moved the cloth aside. "This was supposed to be a surprise for you but I don't want you to think I am hiding something from you. I was hoping you might find the quote inspirational."
Standing beside him, Elizabeth looked down at what was clearly going to become a plaque when it was finished. She read the words already etched there.
For each thorn, there's a rosebud . . . For each twilight - a dawn . . . For each trial - the strength to carry on, For each storm cloud - a rainbow . . . *
There was room for the rest of the quote which was very lightly planned out in pencil on the wood. Elizabeth was able to finish it without the pencil marks though.
"For each shadow - the sun . . . For each parting - sweet memories when sorrow is done.*" Elizabeth said softly. She looked from the plaque to look at Nathan. "A little while ago I would not have been able to see the truth of that quote by Emerson, but thanks to you, my world is starting to have some light in it again."
"It does my heart good to hear you say that, Elizabeth," Nathan told her. He hesitated just a moment, before leaning in and pressing a kiss to her forehead.
Elizabeth felt her breath catch. It was the first time Nathan had kissed her since kissing her cheek good night that first evening. That kiss had been soft and quick, and while Nathan's lips now were feather light against her skin, the gestured had been unhurried.
Before either one of them could say more, they heard the sound of a car motor outside. The two moved to the door of the shop and looked toward the house. Elizabeth recognized the car coming to a stop in front of their home immediately.
"It is my parents," Elizabeth commented.
"I don't remember you mentioning they were coming for a visit," Nathan stated calmly.
It was a calm that Elizabeth did not share. "I didn't know they were coming," Elizabeth replied. "Apparently they decided they needed to come check on me. Apparently I should have given them more information in the letter I sent. I meant to send a follow up, but I couldn't make myself write it."
"Do they know we got married?" Nathan asked as the car came to a stop.
"Yes," Elizabeth said. "Which is probably the reason they are checking up on me." She looked at her husband. "I'm sorry. You stay here. I will go talk to them and try smoothing things over before you meet them."
"We did nothing wrong, Elizabeth," Nathan told her. He held his hand out to her. "Let's go greet your parents to our home."
Elizabeth felt her gratitude toward Nathan swell. This situation was her doing. He wouldn't be in it if he had not been helping her. Instead of taking the easy way out though, Nathan was willing to stand by her side and face her parents' judgement head on. She just hoped her parents were not too hard on him.
Placing her hand in Nathan's, the two of them stepped out of the wood shop. Nathan paused only long enough to secure the high lock on the door to keep the children from slipping in unattended. Then side by side, Elizabeth and Nathan walked across the yard toward her parents who were getting out of their car.
*quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson