Chapter Content: Sex and Religion
Her hormones angered and confused her. She slept way too early the previous night. She didn't even wish Sara a happy birthday because she fell asleep while reading. It was eight something in the evening. She woke up at six. Sara was asleep by her side. She woke up aroused. She went to the bathroom to find her underwear full of her fluids. She didn't even remember having a dream. She didn't puke that day; that was good. But she felt irritated and hot.
She wished Sara a happy birthday when the older woman woke up, joking sweetly about finding her drooling next to the opened book last night while she had something else in mind. "I was gonna touch myself but I just slept right away."
"Oh, trust me. I'll make it up to you, tonight," she whispered with more rasp in her octave, covering Sara's soft skin in goosebumps.
"On a work night?" Sara raised an eyebrow. "Let's see if you'll last till eleven." Tegan laughed, pushing her slightly. She had plans in mind. It was her lover's birthday. She hoped she could take a nap after school but their friends were to arrive at six, so she doubted she'd have time.
"Happy birthday, Sara. I hope you have a good one," Sara read Jack's message out loud.
"Say happy birthday to Sara and please tell me what she wants for her birthday because I don't know what one gets a Sara," Tegan read Emy's message loudly.
"A Sara?" Tegan was laughing and Sara joined her. "Like I'm a special species?"
"You intimidate her."
"Tell her to surprise me." Sara winked, going to the bathroom.
Tegan arrived to her work earlier than before. Emy was already there with coffee in her hand. "You're here," shouted Emy. "Coffee?" the woman offered.
"No. I had one with Sara."
"You usually have five."
"Umm…" Tegan pondered whether she'd tell her or not. She wanted to, but she didn't want to make a scene. Knowing Emy, some jumping and squealing was going to happen if she told her. "Well, uhh…"
Emy's eyes narrowed, studying the nervous reaction of her friend. "Well?" she insisted.
"Let's just say I'm gonna be drinking less coffee for the next few months."
"I don't get it," she flat out screamed while chewing on her cheese sandwich. "Is it like a health thing?"
"I'm pregnant, Emy."
"Holy…" Emy almost choked on her bite. "No, wait." She coughed. Her eyes were teary. "You have…a baby…a baby in there." Emy pointed at her tummy.
"Yeah. Relax…relax." It felt like old times when they were at college and her best friend got herself too excited she lost the ability of speech.
"I'm gonna be an aunt. Oh my God, I'm gonna be an aunt." Tegan's eyes were slowly opening up as her friend danced around. That was embarrassing for a teacher to do. Gladly, not many people were around. "How far along?"
"Just chill. Let me speak." It was cute, in fact; Emy considered herself Tegan's sister now. She considered herself an aunt.
"Yeah, I'm sorry." Emy calmed down but her cheeks remained rosy and heated. "Speak."
"Seven weeks now." Tegan beamed, her teeth showed as her smile grew bigger and bigger. "It's still early to be this excited but…"
"I'm so happy for you." Emy hugged her. "Everything will go well. I know it. I have a feeling."
"There's something else." Tegan bit her lower lip. "They're twins."
This time Emy did not jump nor scream. Her mouth opened and her eyes were dilated in wonder. "What?"
Tegan laughed. "Yeah." She put her hand over her stomach. "But Sara wanted for us to tell you and Jeremy tonight. So only Jeremy will be surprised, I guess."
"This is great news."
It was great news. But the great news scared her. It made her alarmed each minute. If she felt a cramp she worried and sat down, waiting for the awful to happen. She ate what Sara prepared for her; she did everything the doctor told her. She had to do that every day for the rest of her pregnancy, hoping it would last and dreading the fact that there was a huge chance it wouldn't last.
Sara's heart almost stopped when her friends yelled, 'Surprise' as she entered the meetings room. She cupped her mouth, ready to cry.
"Oh, don't cry, love. We didn't want to scare you." Dana ran up to her, hugging the professor who was in tears of shock and happiness. Nobody had ever surprised her in her birthday. She thought it would never happen. "Happy birthday, love."
She was hugged by all her friends in the faculty. Then it was Jack's turn to hug her, but she offered her hand instead. She didn't want to hug him. Awkwardly, he shook her hand. She smiled politely at him and turned around to find Dana lighting up the candles on the cake.
"This is from all of us," Dana said.
"It's her idea, don't believe her," Charlotte said.
"She thought, she planned, we got the stuff," Annie added.
"I'm still speechless and I need a minute to absorb this." Sara's face was as red as a cherry. She had never loved life as much as she did now. She wanted to cry and kneel down, thanking her Lord for everything he was bestowing on her. She wanted to call her mother and fill her in on everything. She wanted these blessings to last. And Oh, God, how she dreaded they wouldn't. I mean, that was life, right? You get joy for a day and misery for eternity. Life always gave her something small then took an enormous portion of her happiness, so was she to wait for her happiness to fade now? Please, God, she prayed inside her head, please don't take what I have. Please don't desert me. I never left you, please don't leave me.
If Tegan heard her silent prayers, she'd mock her, but she couldn't help it; she was a believer. She couldn't stop it. Tegan didn't like talking about religion with her. She didn't comment on her praying or her going to church every once in awhile, but it always left her restless and uneasy when Sara mentioned church or God, or religion. She remained silent or shrugged. Religion was not an easy topic for them at home. She believed, Tegan didn't. What about their children? Who was going to decide? That was way too early to marvel at, but she couldn't help not to wonder inside her mind as she ate her piece of cake.
"Next birthday, please don't put my age. It's not nice being above 35."
"Oh, shut up. You're like the baby of the faculty, Sara," Dana said. "Everyone here is in their 40s but you don't see them complaining, right?" Everybody said something in unison that Sara could barely hear.
"I don't know how to thank all of you. You made my day. I never felt so happy." Sara wanted to cry again, but her eyes met Jack's and she didn't.
All her friends got her a gift basket that consisted of her favorite stuff; wine, coffee, cheese, a nice silver cutlery set, a notebook, Swiss chocolate, tulips, and a huge book that consisted of all Shakespeare's works. Sara laughed, knowing exactly whose idea was that. She looked at Jack and he winked. She smiled awkwardly but she wasn't flattered. It was a nice gesture but Jack needn't wink. He didn't seem to be getting it.
Emy sat next to wheezing Tegan. She handed her a glass of water and rubbed her back. "What happened?" She whispered. "You were fine this morning."
"You know morning sickness?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, now it's just plain sickness." Tegan drank her water and grabbed her sore breasts. "The pain in my breasts isn't even funny." Emy looked at the nurse who was measuring her blood pressure. She almost fainted in class. She was glad her lecture was over. She took herself to the nurse to get tested. When asked, Tegan didn't lie to the nurse. She told her she was pregnant. She asked for it to remain a secret.
"Just relax. These are common symptoms," Emy whispered. "I remember when my mum was pregnant," she continued in a low tone. "It was such a tough pregnancy because she was old." Tegan squeezed her friend's knee. There was no need for dark memories.
"Some kid had this awful cologne that irritated me and I spent the last hour puking."
"That's rather normal Ms. Clement. You just need to rest for now. Do you have a class?"
"No. I have a break." Thank God.
Emy walked with Tegan outside. They needed fresh air. Tegan couldn't bear sitting in her classroom, though she had to correct the quiz she had given her students.
"I still don't know what to get Sara," stated Emy.
"Sara's the person who nobody knows what to get for their birthday," Tegan said.
"What did you get her?"
"Some expensive ass china set she was eye fucking the other day."
"Seriously?" Tegan shrugged. "Come on, Tee. She did so much for your birthday."
"You see this?" Tegan pointed at her body. "Remember it?" Emy's eyes widened, her cheeks reddened. "That's all hers."
"I can't believe I was into you one day."
Tegan guffawed. "I can't believe you're into Stacy."
"I'm not," Emy shouted. "Who said that?"
"Those gorgeous blue eyes," Tegan mocked, wiggling her eyebrows.
"Shut up." Emy was blushing. "I hate her. I swear. Why would I be into someone thirteen years older than me? Let alone a straight single mother."
"She's not straight."
"Really?" Emy smiled. "I mean, I don't care. I'm not into her. Yeah, she's attractive. But no fucking way."
"Okay, feel whatever you want towards her but please behave tonight. We don't need more rivalry. It's Sara's birthday, don't make her hate you, please."
"Fine, bitch." Nothing felt better than having that friendship they had way before drama started, way before Sara came into the picture, way before all the complications their lives dragged in.
Sara told Tegan about the surprise and Tegan told Sara about her getting sick. Tegan rested on the couch upstairs. Sara sat at the other end, rubbing her wife's feet.
"I should be the one giving you the special treatment since it's your birthday." Sara laughed. "But seriously, your hands are gold." Tegan released a pleasured sigh.
"You're pregnant; expect this lavish kindness from now on."
"Oh, so you only love me because I'm pregnant?" Tegan teased, her hand rubbed her own sore breasts.
"It's not for you, it's for them," Sara joked. "I love them more than you."
"I feel betrayed." Sara leaned in to give her a kiss. "Mmm, you know how to shut me up, don't you?"
"I want to fuck you so bad," moaned Sara in her wife's ear. "I want to taste your pussy."
Tegan had been turned on since the early morning, she didn't need dirty talking to make her need become animalistic. However, Sara pulled away before she could act on what she had in mind. They couldn't. They barely had time to cook before their friends arrived.
Stacy and hyper Ella arrived first. Sara removed a couple of crystal vases and centerpieces from the tables downstairs. Ella almost knocked over Sara's favorite candle holder. Stacy brought the cake and a tray of Oreo truffles covered in Hershey's kisses chocolate. Jeremy and Denise arrived after. Jeremy's girlfriend had baked delicious-looking cinnamon rolls. Sara didn't tell anyone to bring sweets, but they did by default.
Tegan gave each a glass of wine as they began to chat. Ella was giving her mother a hard time. "I don't know what's going on with her. Her teachers are complaining, too."
"I think she wants attention," Sara remarked.
"All I do is give her attention," Stacy said.
"Maybe that's the problem?" Jeremy said. "Maybe she's getting spoiled? My mother did that with my youngest sister. Especially that she was going through a divorce so she kinda dedicated all her time to spoiling my sister. Maggie had the same attitude."
"That's reasonable," said Sara. "I mean, we give her a lot of our attention and once we're talking, she does these weird dance moves or knocks something over or says something inappropriate and random."
"Great, now I have to deal with that." Stacy sighed.
"I think you should ignore her to a certain extent when she does these things. She has to know that there is time for her and time for others," Denise suggested.
"And now with the babies and all, she's probably gonna feel more left out from me and Tegan." Sara bit her lower lip and closed her eyes, realizing her mistake. "Shit, I forgot."
The couple didn't say anything. They both looked at Tegan. Sara really couldn't hold it in. Tegan was going to tell them tonight but she wanted to do it by herself. She told Sara that she had already told Emy, and she wanted to tell Jeremy, too.
So Tegan had to explain what Sara was talking about. The couple's reaction was way more reserved than Emy's. Jeremy gave her a hug and Denise squeezed her shoulder.
Then Emy arrived in a red dress with small white flowers on it. It had buttons and the skirt had a nice flowy style. The sleeves stopped at her elbows and the top was tight. Her hair was tied in a ponytail and she had red lipsticks, which brought out her small blue eyes and reflected her pale complexion nicely.
Emy had never worn a dress.
Jeremy laughed. "Look whose mother is dressing them again."
"What, bitch?" Emy said. "I can't wear a dress because I'm gay?"
"There's a kid," Stacy commented, eyeing the friend up and down.
Emy ignored the woman. "Happy birthday, Sara." Sara was shocked, scanning Emy up and down. Tegan knew Sara wished she wore dresses, but that was not her style.
Luckily for Sara, the two rivals did not interact with each other until later at night when everyone was a bit tipsy and Sara was fully wasted. Emy sat next to her friends and Stacy sat next to Sara. Tegan switched between the two groups. However, at the end Sara was completely wasted she wasn't aware of what she was saying. And fortunately for the mother, Ella finally fell asleep on a lounge chair after throwing a huge tantrum for no reason at all.
Tegan brought in the desserts their friends brought and the one she and Sara baked together: peach pie.
Emy was enjoying the truffles way too much. She moaned at the taste and texture, "Shit, Jeremy, try this." Tegan could see the nurse smirking, sipping her wine in a relaxed manner.
"I did," Jeremy said quietly. "Stop drinking, Emy," he added. "Seriously." Emy didn't care. He was her ride. Why would she stop?
"Oh, leave her. We're having fun," Sara, the drunk, said back. Tegan was the only fully sober one. Stacy didn't drink much, too.
"Tegan, can I marry Sara, too? This is the most beautiful thing I've ever tasted. It's better than sex."
Stacy's wicked smile was increasing as she licked her lips.
"Stacy made this, not me," Sara said.
"Oh…" Emy looked at the proud woman, smiling evilly at her. "Well then, Stacy, I'll marry you if you make this for me every day and you'll get whatever you want." Tegan gasped and laughed. Her friend must have been that drunk.
"What makes you think I'll marry you?" Stacy said. "I mean, if that's better than sex, then, sweetie, you need to learn how to have good sex at least before thinking about marrying me."
Emy tensed up. She left the plate with the small truffles and sat up straight. "Get over your fucking self because apparently you're too far up your ass to take a joke," Emy said. "And trust me; I'd rather marry the creepy ass janitor at school than marry someone like you."
"Hey, hey, you guys," Tegan raised her voice. "What the hell? We were just chilling and joking."
Sara stood up; her face grave-looking and her posture intense. "Look, you two, you either shut the fuck up and let me enjoy my birthday or choose one of the rooms upstairs to solve whatever sexual tension there is between you because it's getting ridiculous."
"Told ya," Jeremy whispered in his friend's ear. Tegan glared at him. "What? It's obvious. That's what Emy does when she likes someone."
The two women didn't say anything anymore. Sara continued looking at both of them for a minute until she held up her glass and said, "This is my birthday. I have my friends here, I have my wife here; the person I love more than anyone in the world is here, I have my best friend here, I have a house, I have a job, I have people I care about beside me, I'm 36, I'm having a baby…" Sara shrugged, "Or two…So yeah I actually have everything and I don't want any of you to ruin it, okay?" Sara hiccuped.
"Babe, you're really drunk," Tegan commented. "Just sit down and stop drinking."
"Hey, I'm having fun."
"You have work tomorrow."
Everybody left soon after. Sara was officially losing it. She began dancing to really bad music and Emy joined her. Tegan was getting tired and irritated. She wanted to take off her clothes and rest.
Sara left the bathroom and yawned, checking her phone and making sure to put her alarm to wake her and her wife in the morning. Tegan was rubbing her left breast on the mattress.
"You know, I'm not really that drunk. I just acted drunk so they could leave. They weren't gonna leave."
Tegan looked back at her wife and shrugged. "It's ten; of course they weren't gonna leave. Next time we're choosing weekends."
"Are you okay?" Sara sat beside her. She removed Tegan's hand off her breast and started massaging instead. "It hurts?"
"Yeah. Since this morning. I was fine. It's like as soon as I knew I'm actually pregnant, everything began to hurt? Is it mental?"
"It was already hurting but you didn't pay attention." Tegan yawned, nodding. "So thank you for the china. You have no idea how much I wanted that."
"Seriously?" Laughed Tegan. "I thought you'd hate me I didn't get you something sentimental nor did something, you know, special after all the stuff you did for my birthday."
Sara laughed, too. "I'm not like that. I don't love you to get things from you. I don't even expect that. Plus, isn't it enough you're doing this?" She pointed at her stomach. "This alone is a gift I'll never be able to repay."
"Don't consider it like that, Sara. I want it, too."
"Yeah, but if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be knocked up right now." Sara kissed her cheek. She couldn't resist the florid skin that met her eyes.
"Let's not talk about that now. I have something for you. Just let me go to the bathroom. You relax, okay?"
Sara's infamous smirk appeared on her face. "I think I already know what you're planning."
"Shut up and sit."
"Yes, Ma'am." Tegan disappeared and Sara sat in a chair at the corner of the room. She thought about the previous years and how she didn't even expect celebrating another birthday. Two years ago she celebrated turning 34 in the hospital. She scoffed and mocked everyone who wished her a happy birthday. She was dying; she didn't need to get farther in years. She just wanted to end her misery. A year ago when she turned 35, she was in recovery. It was still not happy for her. Her hair was slowly growing and her body was still adjusting to the hormone replacement. She still lived with Stacy and it had been a time of anguish for her friend. Sara had been waiting to have a full recovery in order to chase Tegan again. That weekend, she remembered, she had just gotten news about her lover. Stacy called Tegan's number twice and hung up before she could say any word when Sara was too scared to speak. Sara was still afraid of the chase she had to do just in case she got sick again. And now, a year later, she was sitting in her big house, waiting for her lover to leave the bathroom, and waiting for her babies to arrive in almost seven months.
Tegan opened the bathroom's door slowly. "Sare?" She pulled her head out of the small crevice. Sara looked up at her, her thoughts coming to a stop. "Don't laugh, okay?" Sara's lips, involuntarily, began to stretch on her face.
Tegan walked out slowly, her lips pressed together and her cheeks flushed. Sara didn't laugh; she stared in wonder at her lover's gorgeous body. Tegan was clad in lace baby blue lingerie. The bra was thin and small. The thong was barely covering anything, not that Sara minded.
"This is the first time I see you in sexy lingerie," commented Sara. "Wow."
"You like it?" Her wife stepped closer. "I was hesitant. I don't usually feel comfortable in my feminine side, you see."
"I know." Sara pulled her closer until the younger woman was seated on top of her lover's legs on that chair. "I love this."
"I know you'd like me to wear dresses or skirts and, like, you know, these sexy night stuff but, uh…" Tegan giggled nervously. "I always feel awkward."
"I like you the way you are," Sara whispered, caressing her cheeks softly. "I don't care what you wear, really. As long as I can see you naked, I don't give a damn." Tegan giggled again. "I want to ravish you." She leaned in for a kiss, but Tegan pulled her face away.
"Okay, umm, look, it's your birthday, right?"
"Mhm?" Sara was getting turned on, and that was worse than getting wasted because she could barely think of what was happening around her. She wanted to kiss those plump lips immediately.
"Yeah, so…like, I want you to do whatever you want. I'll do whatever you want, too."
"Good, because I want to do you so bad right now." She took a taste of Tegan's lips before Tegan pulled away again. Sara closed her eyes to control herself. She felt her center becoming moist. That was good. That was very good. "Tegan," she whined.
"But it's your birthday. You're the one who should be…did." Tegan giggled.
"Fuck, let me just fuck you. That's how I get off."
That did not help Tegan's state of arousal. She caved in. If Sara didn't want to be the one touched that was fine by her. It was perfect, in fact. She hopped off Sara's legs. Sara groaned. "Okay, so…" she pointed at her small body. "Do whatever you want."
"Get the dildo and the harness."
"Mmm, I figured." Tegan walked up to the closet. She walked inside and rummaged through the boxes on the top shelf. "Which one?"
"Whatever you want." Sara had purchased a new one recently. It was flesh-colored, too. It was almost the same style and length as the pink one they had bought together. Sara wanted that new one to be used on her, since she couldn't take the big one they already had from years ago. Tegan came out with the safe pink one and the leather harness that Sara preferred. Sara was getting undressed. "You better not fall asleep," Sara joked.
"Shut up." Tegan handed her wife the toy.
"Don't take that off," Sara stopped the younger woman before she could remove the bra. She sat on the chair once again and opened her legs. "Come here."
"Oh, I'm gonna ride you?"
"Yes, can you?" Tegan was already approaching her, a bit timid, but she didn't seem like she abhorred the idea. Sara pulled the blue lace of her thong to the side, revealing her drenched lips.
"Yeah, but help me." She put a hand on Sara's shoulder and one on the phallus. She giggled when Sara put her fingers on her lips, opening them up for her. "Okaayyy," she moaned as her walls slowly hugged the head of the toy. She closed her eyes and breathed through her lips once the toy was fully inside.
Sara kissed her right away. She smiled through the kiss and teased with her tongue, making Sara search and chase for it until she sucked it inside her lips and rubbed it with her own tongue. Tegan circled her arms around Sara's neck, beginning to rise and fall on top of her.
"It feels good?" Sara asked through the kiss.
"Mmmm." Tegan was lost in a rainbow of bliss and satisfaction. She wanted more of Sara and Sara was generous enough to offer, beginning to suck down her jaw, behind her ears, and bite at her supple neck. Tegan's actions quickened and Sara helped her by thrusting from her seat. She rose and fell, rose and fell, got up and jumped down on the fake dick. Her juices stained the cushion of the couch and her sweat covered her chest and brow.
Sara pulled her right breast out of the cup and took her nipple between her lips, biting gently then sucking. When she looked down, she smiled cheerily at the wonderful sight, her body's movements slowing down due to exhaustion.
Sara looked up at her as she completely stopped moving, preferring to roll her hips on the toy to gain her breath back. Sara brushed her hair back and kissed her lips again. "Tired?" She nodded. Sara rubbed her clit for a few seconds, making her close her eyes and resume her previous activity. She hugged Sara's chest and put her head on her shoulder, wheezing on the heated skin. "Love, put your legs around me and hold me real tight. Let's take this to the bed, I'll help you out."
"Yeah," she murmured, hoping Sara wouldn't drop her.
It was strange being carried with the toy in her. When Sara put her down on the mattress, the toy slipped out of her. A rush of pain gushed between her legs at the sudden departure. She closed her legs and touched her breast, rubbing and kneading. Sara opened her legs again and thrust back into her. "This should be better." Sara smiled down at her and she smiled back. She lifted up her legs and put them against her wife's chest. Sara thrust too quickly and too hard, she enjoyed it very much.
Sara kissed her ankles as she pushed. Her moans rang in Sara's ears. The professor herself was getting there. She put her finger back on the swollen clit and began to circle it. Tegan's voice became louder.
"I'm close," Tegan informed her. "Shit."
Sara put her legs down and leaned in to lie on top of her, moving her hips only, which increased the speed and the pressure between Tegan's legs. As soon as Sara began to kiss her, she felt the orgasm beginning to form in her lower abdomen till it took her by surprise all at once. She screamed when she felt it again right after. Sara kissed her one last time before pulling away.
"Multiple orgasms?" Sara asked.
"How did you know?"
"It's offensive to ask me that." Sara lay down beside her, both breathing heavily. "Enjoyed it?" Tegan moaned. "Exhausted?" Tegan hummed, closing her eyes. "Are they okay?" Her hand reached Tegan's lower abdomen, feeling the almost unnoticeable bump.
"Yeah, they are. They're sleepy." Tegan laughed.
"Well, they just watched their mommies have sex. I think it exhausted them."
Tegan giggled, sitting up a bit. "That's disturbing." She yawned. "Can you rest on the pillow?"
"What do you have in mind?" Sara was smirking. She did what she was told.
Tegan sat between her legs; she held onto the phallus and took a deep breath. "Don't laugh."
But Sara laughed when Tegan started giving a blow job to the toy. "You keep saying don't laugh as if you're gonna do something funny and it's just sex, Tegan. Why would I laugh?"
"You're laughing." Tegan wiped her lips. "I taste disgusting, by the way."
"You don't," Sara said. "And I was laughing at you saying don't laugh."
Tegan didn't say anything. She removed the toy and the harness and spread Sara's legs, looking at her with narrowed eyes. She ate her out until she came. Then Sara asked, "I want to ride your face…but, uh, not now."
"Why not? You can do it now."
"No, I'm tired." Sara blushed. "First thing tomorrow when we get back from work." Tegan laughed. "See, now that's a thing to laugh at."
The next day was rough for Tegan. She reached school late and found Emy smoking outside. As soon as her friend spotted her, she threw the cigarette and stepped on it.
"Morning," Emy said. "Why late?"
"I threw up five times this morning." Tegan held her stomach.
"Same sister," Emy said, putting a piece of strawberry gum in her mouth. "I have the worst hangover in the history of hangovers." She offered Tegan one but Tegan refused. She preferred to sip her detox water instead.
"Do you remember your argument with Stacy last night?" Tegan tried to reach Stacy this morning, but the nurse didn't respond. "Because I think you went overboard with your joke."
"No?" Emy furrowed her brows. "What did I say?" Her cheeks turned immediately. Tegan nodded.
"Nothing," whispered Tegan. "But you two should really not be in the same room ever again. It's getting annoying."
"Oh." Emy looked restless, almost guilty. "Should I apologize?"
"Just leave her alone because she'll hurt you with her words if you said something else." And it's not like Stacy was completely innocent. She started it in fact, but Tegan didn't want to admit that to Emy so she wouldn't fuel the fire.
The good part of the day was that Tegan's classes were fun and chill. They were discussing one of Tegan's all time favorite novels, The Great Gatsby. It was a nice discussion in which she allowed her students to brainstorm some metaphors for Gatsby without telling them the intentions of the writer. She listened without correcting anyone. She was planning to do that until they reached the conclusion that Fitzgerald was really talking about America and the American Dream.
As for Sara, her topic of discussion with her students was as interesting as well. In her English Literature in the 20th Century course, Sara focused on female writers mostly. She shed the light on Katherine Mansfield, Jean Rhys, and Virginia Woolf. She told her students that in this course the professors always focus on T.S. Eliot and James Joyce, which she had done in the past as well, but this time she wanted to teach it from a different angle. It was Tegan's question that made her think about it.
They were discussion some modernist writing over the summer when Tegan asked her, "How come I studied about five works by T.S. Eliot and only one short story by Virginia Woolf?" Tegan was slowly becoming obsessed with the writer and her complex and emotional relationship with her lover, Vita Sackville West. "Isn't it unfair that professors aren't discovering how amazing her works are? I mean, come on, did you even read anything other than Mrs. Dalloway by her?"
Sara had to think for awhile before shaking her head. "I mostly majored in American literature, so yeah. I neglected a big part in the English literature, to be honest."
"Exactly," Tegan argued. "Why don't you read some of the books I bought? Try To the Lighthouse. I have some amazing theories about it."
And so Sara and her wife spent their days reading Virginia Woolf till the professor found herself falling in love with this author she had never met, absentmindedly connecting her life with the author's, drawing connections, taking deep looks, analyzing almost every word. Tegan made her read some of Katherine Mansfield's works, too. Therefore, she decided to focus on female writers in this course this time.
"It was very hard to read," one of her students said. "And quite depressing. I had to pause after almost each page and think." Sara nodded, that's how she had felt reading this novel.
Another student raised her hands. Sara nodded at her. "It's like she's stuck inside her memories. She can't get over them. All her characters are obviously effigies of people she encountered in real life."
"That's actually true," the professor commented while she sat on top of her desk. "This novel, in particular, is an embodiment of her family and the death of her mother." One guy raised his hands, but Sara ignored him in order to finish her point. "Woolf does not care about the plot as much as she focuses on time, thoughts, senses, what people like to call Stream of Consciousness, and I like to call internal monologue, which we all have." Sara held her copy of the book. "I mean look at the form. She's questioning, she has fragmented sentences all over, she's debating within herself, her characters are brought to reality by the way she describes them, by the way she delivers human emotions." She put her book down next to her and lifted up the part of the creamy cardigan that had fallen off her shoulder. "Yes, Eric?" she finally allowed her student to speak.
"I don't know if anyone here had read more works, but like Sam said, it's kinda fascinating that she is actually stuck inside her memories. She uses the same characters but gives them different names."
Sara hummed. "Can you elaborate on that, please?" Her wife had the same theory.
"I mean, you've read Mrs. Dalloway, right?" Sara nodded. "You've read The Voyage Out?"
"Of course." Sara chuckled. "My wife forced me to read The Voyage Out then reread Mrs. Dalloway, so I guess I understand your point."
"Exactly. She used the same character in her books even though they were literally ten years apart. She always addresses the sea and the waves, she hints on matters that are frightening to her, matters that she cannot escape; her brain cannot overcome. Which is totally okay because writers are mostly projecting on real matters in their works, but with her it's more personal. You feel like you know her, you know who this person is, it's the one that lives inside you, the one that you want to stay in contact with, the one you relate to but you're not quite sure how to make amends with."
"That's beautiful," Sara said. "I felt that, too. To be honest, I felt that she was writing for me. I felt that she understood me."
"I believe that she uses sensory details and that's why we feel like we are inside the story she's writing," another student shared her opinion. "Plus, like you said, since she focuses on characters rather than plot, she addresses human behavior, so it's easy to relate to and feel what she is writing about."
"That's correct. I like where you guys are going with this." Sara held her book again and chuckled. "You know how she talks about the grey-green light of the lighthouse?" Some of her students nodded and some stayed silent, while others hummed and commented loudly. "My wife is kinda obsessed with her and with The Great Gatsby so she was like I bet there is some connection. I asked her how and she said, 'the green light, duh. They're always addressing that damn color.'" Her students laughed. "And so we spent all night coming up with literary theories about the light, but now that I'm thinking about it, I do believe that it kind of symbolizes memories, perhaps? What do you think? I mean the way the narrator says the light is reflected on the wall. I need your thoughts."
Sara picked Tegan up from her work place like she did almost every day. Sometimes, when she had to work late, Tegan had to take an Uber back home.
"I'm gonna piss myself," Tegan said as soon as she got in the car. "It's so cold today."
"Why didn't you go to the bathroom?" Sara asked, lowering the music.
"It's not that clean. I feel like I'll get some type of infection." Sara laughed. "My babies are hungry." Sara looked at her, smiling. "I ate a lot but I'm just hungry."
"I'll feed you and your babies whatever you guys want." Tegan gave her a wide gummy smile, changing the station to find whatever suited her mood.
They ended up ordering some pizza and chicken wings. They ate and told each other about the day they had. After the food Sara waited for her lover in their bedroom. Tegan left the bathroom in her black sports bra and matching black boxer briefs. She sat next to Sara's relaxed body on the mattress.
"So," she said, smiling shyly, "what are you waiting for?"
"Waiting for what?" Sara played dumb. She wanted Tegan to direct her and move her.
"Don't you remember?" Tegan rested on her side, staring at Sara's fresh face. "Yesterday you said something about uh…"
"Can you refresh my memory because I'm not sure I know what you're talking about?" But Sara smiled against her will and so Tegan pushed her playfully. "What? I don't know what you're talking about."
"Fuck you," Tegan said with laughter. "You know too well what I'm talking about."
"Well, can you refresh my memory?" Sara teased and challenged her with her daring octave. Tegan decided she'd tease back; therefore, she got on top of her and held both arms above her head. "Whoa, somebody doesn't like to play."
"Oh, no. I like to play." Tegan smirked. "I just don't like to be challenged." She leaned down to give her lover a kiss but Sara turned her face to the side, making her wife's lips come in contact with her cheek. So Tegan licked her cheek instead. "Do you want to be fucked or do you not want to ever be fucked again, Sara?" Tegan threatened. Sara laughed.
"You really don't like foreplay," Sara commented, a bit surprised by Tegan's anger. Tegan sat back up, straddling her waist. She whined, shaking her shoulder. "What?"
"I feel weird. Like, I can't compete with you. You know what to say and what to do and I'm just trying to follow up."
"Babe, you're doing it perfectly. I'm just teasing you." Sara rubbed the thighs that straddled her. It was quite apparent that Tegan's hormones were beginning to rage, and that's why Sara didn't want to press. "I'm just trying to get you out of your comfort zone, I guess."
"Can I just do whatever I can right now? Let me challenge myself but don't challenge me because I feel insecure."
"Of course," Sara said. "I'm all yours. If I teased without being aware of it, just tell me, okay?" Tegan nodded, kissing her right away.
Tegan knew exactly what she was doing and what she wanted to do, Sara figured it out by the strokes of her tongue. She kissed her properly, sucked on her tongue and moaned while she rocked her hips on her legs. Tegan was, in fact, the one teasing.
When she finally sat up, she waited to regain her breaths then smiled. "I love you, by the way." Sara giggled, reaching for her hand to squeeze it.
"I love you, too."
Tegan's lips were hurriedly in contact with her face, kissing whatever skin was there. First she kissed her cheeks, then pecked the soft lips, then her nose, and lastly her forehead. She looked back at Sara, smiled, then resumed her kisses. She kissed her left earlobe, making sure to drag her tongue behind her ear, making Sara squirm in her arms.
Sara felt herself getting wet. She could feel her fluids seeping out of her core. Tegan's tongue was doing wonders on her neck now. Tegan sucked a spot that made her scream and squeeze her wife's calves tightly. Tegan was giggling softly. That was going to leave a spot she would have to cover before going to work tomorrow.
"You're wet?" Tegan inquired in her husky octave.
"What do you think?"
"I think I can make you more wet." Sara bit on her lower lip when her wife cupped her between her legs, right above her yoga pants. Tegan leaned in again to kiss her lips quickly before moving to her shoulders. She kissed her collarbones and licked every few seconds. When she looked up again, her hands were already removing the black tank top Sara was in. Sara wasn't wearing a bra. She sat up a bit to help Tegan get her top off then lay back on Tegan's pillow the way she had been resting before. Tegan leaned in again, this time kissing her chest.
Sara arched her back once her left nipple was inside her lover's mouth. Tegan flicked her tongue gently before starting to suck on the hard bud. "Ahh, Tegan," she didn't realize her calls for attention until she felt her body free from Tegan's oral activity. "Tegan, please."
"Shh," Tegan put her index against Sara's lips. "Let me enjoy your body." Sara kissed her finger.
The younger women gave the same treatment to her right breast. She bit on her nipple softly before pulling away. She kissed both nipples then moved down to kiss between Sara's breasts. Once she moved to her abdomen, she kissed more lightly than ever, making sure to touch all the lines of stitches and stretch marks with her sweet lips. Sara felt her clit jump.
"I swear to God, I think I'm gonna come just by this." Tegan looked up at her, a bit worried that what she said might happen, however she did not retreat. She began taking off her yoga pants and underwear all at once. Sara kicked them down when they were at her feet. She spread her legs immediately, but Tegan laughed and closed them. "Come on, please."
"I thought you wanted to sit on my face."
"I can't even sit up now. I'm dying."
"No." Tegan raised one eyebrow. "You're doing what I say."
Tegan kissed her thighs; her lips descended from the bony hipbones to the meaty thighs. She licked at Sara's inner thighs and left a few love marks there after sucking the soft skin. Sara's juices coated her inner thighs and Tegan relished the taste. She pecked Sara's engorged cit quickly but did not give more attention to her pussy. Absentmindedly, Sara was humping the mattress. Tegan laughed when their eyes met. Tegan's eyes never left her slightly opened ones as she kissed down her legs to her feet.
"How do you feel?" Tegan asked.
"Honestly?" Tegan nodded. "Like I'm soaring above heaven."
"Wow." Coyly, Tegan tucked the strands of hair behind her ear. "Well, now get up." She took her wife's hands and pulled her up.
Tegan lay down in her place. She smiled as her lover straddled her, both legs between her resting body. Sara took a hold of the headboard as she felt Tegan's palms on her ass. She could feel the hot breaths on her vulva. She wanted nothing but to get her clit played with and her walls fucked well.
"Fuck," moaned Tegan. "You're dripping on me." Sara looked down at her lover licking her lips. "I'm gonna enjoy this."
"Stoppp," whined Sara like a little girl. "Fuck, Tegan," she screamed when Tegan wrapped her lips around the small clit. She began to move her hips back and forth gently, feeling Tegan's knowing tongue jerking her bundle of nerves. A sharp exhale left her lips when Tegan struck her ass. "Ohhh." She squeezed her eyes shut as she felt it again. Her saturated hole was aching for something.
"Yum." Tegan wiped her lips and guffawed, staring up at her lover's dazed features. While looking at each other, Tegan moved her tongue across the drenched slit and flicked her inner lips to the left and to the right until she took them in her mouth, sucking at them.
"Holy fuck," Sara shouted, hitting the headboard with a clenched fist. Tegan's laughter vibrated between her legs. She was writhing and jumping to get her orgasm. The burn in her clit was wonderful but the need was making her whiny and fidgety, which made Tegan hold onto one thigh tightly before pushing two fingers in her silky walls. "Oh my God." She took a deep breath, hitting the wall behind the bed.
Tegan pushed in and out quickly as she lapped and licked Sara's clit. She reached the spongy part she was quite familiar with and curled her fingers, rubbing the spot that made her wife fall backward with a scream. Sara cursed and winced as her head fell between her lover's legs. "Shit, shit, shit, Tegan please, please, please, calm down…oh my god." That was too much and she could barely take it. She wanted to come but it was too much her head was getting dizzy. Tegan held both hips and resumed eating her out after her laughter quieted down.
Her face was full of her lover's inebriating fluids. Sara had never reacted that way when she ate her out. She was enjoying it; she was getting off by it. Now she understood what it was like enjoying giving as much as getting; it's that moment when they get so small and weak in your arms, when you're controlling their pleasure, deciding when and how you'd like to give it to them, when they're begging and pleading, when they can't feel anything but this mind-boggling nirvana that they don't get to experience often.
Sara came with a long moan, and Tegan was sure Sara had those multiple orgasms she kept talking about. She could feel it around her fingers and in her mouth as she licked and tasted her juices.
Sara curled her legs and lay on her side at the end of the bed. Tegan crawled to her and kissed her face and lips. "You're okay?" Sara nodded, still trying to get down from her high. "Everything is alright? I didn't hurt you?"
"No," Sara whispered. "Tegan, I had two orgasms at the same time in different places. Do you know what that is?" Tegan laughed, nodding. "That's like a miracle for a postmenopausal woman."
"It's not a miracle if it can happen easily." Sara sighed, rubbing her eyes.
"I was afraid I fell on your tummy."
"No, you didn't."
"We have to be careful, babe. This is not a joke." Sara put her hand above Tegan's lower abdomen and rubbed. "I hope they're safe and sound in there."
Tegan put her hand on top of her lover's. "I think they are. Don't worry." She leaned in for another kiss, just to feel this special bond she had never felt with anyone but this woman in her arms. She wondered what made some people so special they could bring exciting new emotions that you could never feel with anybody else.