Thank you for the reviews to last week's chapter. I was so nervous to post it (and I am even more nervous about next week's chapter). I am glad that so many of you still enjoyed it despite the light drama that is coming Sheldon and Amy's way right now. And I promise, it will indeed be light drama. No break-ups or even very serious trouble in their relationship.

Sheldon will not suddenly become a master in lying to or deceiving Amy, that would be too OOC for him. He will try to keep his secret for a while though and he will be trying to figure out how to make Amy happy in Pasadena, but he will never act mean spirited or (knowingly) manipulative, although of course – as some of you wrote – Amy might have a different opinion on that last thing once she finds out everything. But that is a story for a much, much later chapter.

I hope you will enjoy this one. And (you can take that as a warning or not) it is definitely M-rated.

Don't go changing to try and please me
You never let me down before,
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore

I would not leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

Balancing Heaven And Earth
Chapter 5 – "Just The Way You Are"

Amy's POV

~ A little less than three years earlier ~

"Hey, you're watching TV. That's gotta be a first."

Amy hadn't even heard Connie come home. All her attention had been on the TV.

"I watch TV. Sometimes.", she said and smiled at her friend.

Her friend.

Even though Connie was more than fifty years older than her, she was a better friend than all the imaginative friends she had made up in her mind all her life.

She was so warm and comforting. And at the same time funny. She knew all these stories about all kinds of people. Amy just loved sitting at the kitchen table and talking to her.

"So, what are we watching?"

"The Cognitive Revolution: Exploring the Depths of Human Consciousness.", she answered. "It's a documentary."

"Really? With that title, I would have bet on an action movie."

"Right? It's exhilarating. Did you know, people have been trying to figure out where exactly consciousness resides in the brain? It's fascinating. If we would spin that thought further…"

Amy stopped herself just in time. No need to say anything that a normal High School teacher would not say. Although, she was pretty sure, Connie wouldn't notice.

"Oh, wait, I know that.", Connie said excitedly. "We could use something that starts with quantum to disprove the role of consciousness in the Stockholm interpretation."

Amy's jaw dropped.

Did the old lady know more than she let on?

"You mean the Copenhagen interpretation. But Connie… how did you…"

"My grandson told me about it during our phone call last night. He was so excited about this documentary. I bet he's watching it right now."

"Really? Your grandson is interested in the human brain?"

"I think it is more the quantum part that he's interested in. But yes, in general, he is interested in almost everything.

Amy couldn't help but be impressed.

It had become a habit for her, talking to Connie about her science lessons. Mainly because she did not know what else to talk about and she felt, it would be rude to only let the older woman do all the talking.

Sometimes, Connie commented on it with sentences like "I think that's exactly what my grandson would find interesting.", or "Oh, my moonpie would have been thrilled to attend a science lesson like that during his school years".

Up until now, Amy had brushed that off. She had assumed that, by calling her grandson a genius, the old lady meant that he might have won a few spelling bees or that he was the first in the family to finish college.

They watched in silence for a few minutes, before Connie sighed exasperatedly.

"Well, I don't understand a word they are saying. I think I'll leave you to it."

Amy felt a bit guilty. Here she was, hogging the TV and driving Connie away.

"I am recording it anyway.", she said quickly. "You can change the channel if you want."

The old lady studied her for a second, then she chuckled.

"You know, Amy, at times I think you're just like… but then sometimes you appear to be the complete opposite…"

"Connie, I don't know what you…"

"You were here first, Amy. You are watching something you are interested in. You don't have to always do what I want."

Amy felt her cheeks redden. Was it that obvious?

"I don't always do what you want, Connie.", she protested.

"You always let me pick what we cook for dinner. You let me decide, which movies to watch. You always go for my suggestions on where to take walks or what music to hear in the car or what cookies to have to the tea."

Well, she got her there.

"It's just… you are my friend, Connie.", she said quietly.

"So?", she asked. "Did your other friends always want to boss you around?"

"If only.", Amy whispered.

There was a short silence, and then Connie's expression softened.

"You never had friends before?", she asked gently. "Well, that explains a lot."

"I just…", Amy huffed. She did not want to be pitied. But she did have to explain herself. "I always promised myself, if I ever made a friend, I would do whatever they wanted me to do."

"Oh, honey.", Connie said and sat back on the couch again. "It's a good thing you ended up here before a cult could find you."

"That's what I was about to say!", Amy exclaimed.

Connie bit her lip and grinned before she patted Amy's shoulder.

"You know what? I think I want you to meet my grandson. You two could learn a lot from each other. But first you need to learn how to stand up for yourself, or he'll walk right over you. I love him with all my heart, but that boy can be hard to deal with."

"That does not sound very nice.", Amy protested. "Why would I want to meet him?"

"Oh, he is nice.", Connie insisted. "He's a sweet boy. But there are things he needs guidance in. Just like you. But in a different way."

"Okay…", Amy said and furrowed her eyebrows.

"You would find him interesting.", Connie said. "And he would most definitely like you. I think you two could be great… friends."

That was hard to believe.

But then again… Connie liked her. So maybe it would run in the family.

"Now shut off the TV.", Connie demanded then. "We're going out?"

"Out?", Amy exclaimed. "Why would we go out?"

"My friend Ruth from the senior center called me earlier. She wants to get drinks with me. And you are coming with me."

"But, Connie…"

"No but. You need to make more friends. And there is no one better to practice that with than my friend Ruth. She's one of the kindest people I know."

"But… the documentary…"

She really, really did not want to leave this comfortable spot on the couch to go out and talk to a stranger.

"You're recording it, remember?", Connie said and threw a jacket at Amy. "Now put that on."

"But you just said I shouldn't always do what you say.", she said in a last weak attempt to avoid the unavoidable.

"Well, it's better than joining a cult. And now chop-chop."

Amy huffed and followed Connie outside, not yet knowing that this evening would set the groundwork for a life that she would soon come to love.

~ Back in the present ~

"On behalf of United Airlines and the entire crew, I'd like to thank you for joining us on this trip and we are looking forward to seeing you on board again in the near future. Have a nice evening!"

Amy barely listened to the flight attendant because she was so excited.

Finally, she was seeing Sheldon again in only a few minutes.

The last days had felt so much longer than they really were.

Of course, she had spent a lot of time consoling Missy, after Joshua's weird question.

"Can you tell me what a whore is?"

Amy had no idea how to answer this question.

"Uhm… where did you pick up that word?", she had asked him, trying to buy herself some time.

"Doesn't matter.", the boy had said and avoided her gaze. "Just tell me. Is it something bad?"

All the while she had felt Missy's eyes on her.

"No… technically… it's not… bad per se. Just…"

"Joshua, do you want some ice cream?", Missy had fortunately interrupted them.

"Ice cream? But I already brushed my teeth.", the boy protested.

"Just brush them again later."

Joshua did not have to be told twice and while he was eating ice cream in front of the TV, Missy had pulled Amy outside to the porch.

"Where would he have picked up this word?", she asked there. "How am I supposed to tell my six-year-old what it is that whores do and why?"

Amy had tried to console Missy and told her that it had been exactly this question that had led her to study biology in the first place.

And then, they had sat the little boy down together and explained everything as child friendly as possible. Joshua had still seemed a bit confused and sadly, they had not been able to find out where he had picked up this word.

Other than that, Amy had spent her free time with her friends. She had gone to dinner at Jared and Greg's place where she had listened to them telling her about house hunting and the challenges that came with it.

She had met Ruth, who, ever since her wedding, seemed like a whole new person, for coffee and shared the latest gossip.

And although all of that was very nice, she had been counting the seconds until she could finally be with Sheldon again.

At last, Amy was able get off the plane.

She walked to the baggage carousel and quickly retrieved her luggage before she made her way to the arrival area, where she spotted Sheldon right away.

Her heart leaped when she saw his eyes light up as he walked towards her.

"Sheldon!", she exclaimed and hurried to run the last few steps before she hugged him tightly.

She was afraid for a second that he could be upset about this public display of affection. She knew, Pasadena-Sheldon wasn't a fan of that.

But she did not have to worry about that very long. Sheldon pulled her into his arms instantly and pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Amy exhaled shakily. Being close to Sheldon made her feel better instantly.

She snuggled into his chest and breathed in his scent, but… what was that?

This was not the mixture of fabric softener and talcum powder she was used to. It was something completely different. Was he wearing some sort of cologne?

She took a step back and realized, he was also dressed differently. He looked extremely handsome, wearing a black dress shirt she had never seen on him before, tucked into dark blue suit pants. He looked similar to when he would take her out on a special date. But… she couldn't help but think that something seemed off about him. And… could it be? It looked like he had used hair gel.

"We should get going.", he said, smiling at her. "Raj is waiting for us in the car."

He took her suitcase and offered her his other arm, which she took gladly.

Amy shook her head, amused at herself. There he was, picking her up after four long days apart, acting like Medford-Sheldon and she was worrying about clothes or cologne or hair products.

"Hello Rajesh.", she greeted Sheldon's friend politely before she climbed into the backseat of the car where – to her surprise – Sheldon joined her right away instead of hopping onto the front seat.

"Hello Amy, it's nice to have you here again.", Raj answered just as politely.

It felt weird. Somehow, Raj was the only one of Sheldon's friends, Amy was yet to find a connection to. And she felt, she kind of had to, since that man was her roommate for as long as she was staying in Pasadena.

She smiled softly when she felt Sheldon take her hand in his and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Did you have a good flight?", Raj asked her.

Amy nodded. "Yes. It was pretty calm, and I managed to sleep a little bit. I'm still feeling a bit groggy to be honest."

Sheldon squeezed her hand.

"Groggy? Are you not feeling well, Amy?"

"No, everything is fine.", she reassured him quickly. "I'm just still on Texas time. I can't wait to get to your place, take a long, hot shower and relax."

"Oh.", he answered and looked at her strangely.

Had she said anything wrong?

She lifted her head and looked at him. "Oh? Did you have other plans?"

"It's… uhm… Thursday.", he answered. "Date night."

"D… date night? We are having date night tonight?"

"Of course.", he raised his eyebrows. "Thursday is date night. You should remember that. Even without an eidetic memory."

"Thursday is date night in Medford.", she argued. "In Pasadena, Thursday is usually pizza night."

Sheldon seemed startled for a second.

"Would you prefer to have pizza night with everyone? Because I thought we would just meet everyone tomorrow night."

Amy blinked. That last sentence sounded weird. He was looking at her imploringly and his voice sounded as if he was trying to figure out a puzzle.

They had held pizza night every Thursday over the summer. Date night in Pasadena was… new.

Why was she even arguing? Having date night with Sheldon sounded so much better than a group activity. She had been craving time with Sheldon for four days.

"Of course not.", she told him and nestled up closer to him. "I'd love to have date night with you."

Sheldon seemed relieved hearing her answer. Which made her realize how tense he had seemed before.

"So, what are we doing?", she asked.

"I made reservations at The Raymond Restaurant at 8.30."

Amy scrunched up her nose. Well, that explained Sheldon's unusual attire.

That meant, she would have to cut her shower short and then dress up… did she even have a dress in her suitcase that would do for such an upscale restaurant?

"Do you not want to go out for dinner?", Sheldon asked carefully. "Because we could make other plans. The night is still young and there are a lot of possibilities for a man to take out his lady in this city."

Amy studied Sheldon's face. Something felt different about him. Not in the same way as Pasadena-Sheldon felt different from Medford-Sheldon.

More as if this was yet another version of the man she loved.

"Sheldon, please don't take this the wrong way.", she started. "You know, I love going out with you. It's just…"

"You're tired.", he repeated what she said earlier and avoided her gaze. "I understand."

Oh no. Had she disappointed him?

"I'm sorry.", she whispered. "Would you be okay with having date night at your place? We could order food and watch a movie."

There was a long pause.

"You… want to have date night at home? I mean… that sounds good to me. We could have pizza after all or…"

Raj cleared his throat audibly and for a second, Sheldon's eyes widened.

"I mean… uhm… I could cook something for you."

Amy looked at Raj through the rearview mirror. It looked as if he was nodding.

What was going on here?

"Pizza sounds more than fine to me.", she assured Sheldon. "I'd rather spend time with you than have you cook for me."

They placed the order right away and the rest of the car ride was quiet. It was so comfortable, leaning against Sheldon, looking out of the window, seeing other cars drive by.

By the time, they stopped in front of the apartment building, Amy had almost fallen asleep.

Sheldon got out and held the door open for her, before Raj rolled down the window and waved at them.

"Well, good-bye then. Have a nice evening you two."

"You're not coming in?", Amy wondered.

"No, I've got plans.", he told her and shook his head. "Enjoy your date night!"

It only occurred to her now, that he might be leaving them alone on purpose.

And she had to admit, she wasn't sad about that. Not even a little bit.

Sheldon grabbed her suitcase again, and they walked up the stairs together. The elevator was still not fixed, something that bothered Amy even more now than it had months ago.

She was so tired and had to fight her body for every step.

Would Sheldon be very disappointed if she asked to skip date night and just go to sleep?

But she really liked the idea of having date nights in Pasadena. So, she told herself to just power through and make sure to be more well rested on the next occasion when she would be here on a Thursday night. Or maybe she could ask Sheldon to schedule date nights on a different day.

Sheldon opened the apartment door for her and as soon as he had closed the door behind them, he took her into his arms and kissed her gently on the lips.

"I missed you.", he whispered, and the sound of his voice made her shiver.

She pressed herself closer to him.

"I missed you too.", she replied and wrapped her arms around his back. Despite his unusual scent, it just felt so good, finally being able to hold him again.

"Now go take your shower.", he told her. "Our food should be here soon. I'll get everything ready for our date."

Amy did not have to be told twice.

She sighed deeply, as soon as the hot water hit her body.

These last few days really had taken a toll on her. Only now did she realize how grateful she was for the fact it was only her and Sheldon tonight and not the whole gang. As much as she liked them, the thought of having to socialize with them right now seemed tiresome.

She stepped out of the shower and then she was grateful for Raj not being here tonight, so she could just wrap herself in a towel and go to the bedroom where she studied the clothing items in her suitcase, trying to decide what to wear.

She was tempted to just put on her nightgown, but with the effort Sheldon put into his appearance, she quickly let go of that thought and chose a light, pink blouse and her favorite corduroy skirt before getting back to the living room.

But once she entered the kitchen area and saw what Sheldon had done in the meantime, she stopped in her tracks.

Her eyes wandered to the kitchen counter. It was set up for two people. He had decorated it with long, white candles, and soft music was playing from the stereo.

"Sheldon…", she gasped. "You did not have to do this."

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her hip.

"Do you not like it?"

She leaned back and turned her head to kiss his cheek.

"No, I do.", she whispered. "I just did not expect you to… but… it's perfect."

He squeezed her lightly. "Good. Now sit down and relax. Have a glass of wine while I prepare the salad."

Amy just nodded, still impressed by the effort Sheldon was putting into this. She poured herself some wine and inspected the bottle. It looked fancy.

Since when did Sheldon know his way around wine?

She sipped from her glass as she watched him move around the kitchen.

The last days without him had been hell. His absence, but most of all the uncertainty of the situation.

The relief she felt when he told her about the outcome of his meeting… it felt like she was finally able to breathe freely again.

She still wondered, how he had managed to pull this off. How he had gotten his bosses to agree to let him keep his office and only fly in sometimes for important meetings.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she had a feeling, that he was not telling her the whole story. She was sure he had to have made some sort of deal.

And deep inside, she was afraid, he did not want to tell her about the price he had to pay for keeping his office because he did not want her to feel guilty about it.

For tonight, she chose to ignore those thoughts though. She just wanted to enjoy being in his presence again.

She had missed this so much. The way he looked at her with these beautiful blue eyes and that incredibly cute, boyish smile on his face.

But tonight… she couldn't help but feel he was a bit distracted.

Their conversation kept getting interrupted by his phone that kept buzzing with text messages. And Sheldon kept making all these strange suggestions.

"Do you want champagne? There are strawberries in the fridge. That would be romantic, right? Champagne with strawberries." or "Do you want me to give you a neck massage? You must be tense after your long flight. I think Raj is keeping some essential oils somewhere in the bathroom."

It was not the suggestions per se, but more the way Sheldon's voice sounded strange. So not like himself. And he was so fidgety. Always moving around. It was as if he didn't know anymore how to behave around her.

And instead of having a relaxing evening, Amy started feeling very uneasy about all of it.

She huffed annoyed, when – after yet another text message – Sheldon got up and changed the music on the stereo. She had just been telling him about an article she had read on the flight, only to be interrupted. Again.

"Sheldon, what are you doing?", she asked and got up too.

"I just…", he said and stepped closer to her. "I thought we could dance."

"Dance?", she exclaimed. "Sheldon, what has gotten into you tonight?"

She searched his eyes for a clue. What was happening here?

"I'm trying to be romantic.", he said, sounding a little unsure. "It's… date night after all."

Amy shook her head. Where was this all coming from?

He acted as if he had never even been on a date with her before. Which was crazy.

She only knew, this man was not Sheldon. Not Pasadena-Sheldon. Certainly not Medford-Sheldon. And if she was honest, not a version of Sheldon that she even wanted to have any kind of date night with.

She couldn't stop the tears that were welling up inside of her. It was all too much. She was exhausted from this week. And even though Sheldon was standing right in front of her, he felt miles away and she was still missing the man she loved.

"Can you just stop?", she blurted out. "Please?"

"But… I thought…", Sheldon looked at Amy dumbfounded. "I thought you would like this. I am just trying to be romantic."

He looked hurt. Which was the last thing, Amy wanted. But she could not take another second of this weird night when nothing felt like it was supposed to feel.

"Sheldon…", she whispered and reached for his hands. "I appreciate your efforts. But… can't we just be us tonight?"

"Just… us?", he repeated. "But… I don't understand."

"I just want to… sit with you and talk like we usually do. About science or Harry Potter or music or anything really. I just want us. Like we are on any other day in our lives. I don't need champagne or essential oils or dancing in the living room. I mean… do you even like all that stuff?"

Sheldon's shoulders dropped and he exhaled shakily.

"No.", he admitted. "Just the thought of having to wash those oils off my fingers…"

"Then why?", she whispered.

"I…", he huffed. "I'm sorry, Amy. I just… realized that we've never had a date night while we were staying here over the summer. I wanted to make up for that. And I wanted to make tonight special."

Amy took another step towards him and hugged him tightly. Even though his attempts were a bit strange, his intentions were sweet.

"You don't have to do any of these things in order to make tonight special to me.", she mumbled into his chest. "Let's just clean up the kitchen and then watch a movie. And if you want to make that extra special, we can cuddle while we're watching it. Oh... and please put away your phone."

"Sounds perfect.", he sighed as he held her tightly to him.

After the dishes were cleaned up, Amy looked through Sheldon's movie collection.

It looked like that had been expanded and she turned to him surprised.

"I did not know, you liked French movies."

"I don't.", he shrugged. "But you do. You always complain how the video store in Medford does not have a wide selection of movies. So, on Monday, I went to the one around the corner from here. They actually had some of your favorites. I rented a few of them."

Amy's eyes filled with tears again. But for a different reason this time.

And here he thought he needed to bend over backwards to be romantic.

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him sweetly.

"Thank you.", she whispered. "For listening to me. And for knowing what my favorite movies are."

"Of course, I know that.", he scoffed. "Eidetic memory, remember?"

"Still.", she said and kissed his cheek. "That was very considerate of you."

Minutes later, she found herself snuggled up to Sheldon on his couch, watching one of her favorite movies.

'L'Atalante', a tragic comedy about a young woman who married a ship's captain but very soon found herself torn between the love for her husband and the frustration of having to live on his ship.

Sheldon had agreed to watch it in French with English subtitles. Her favorite way of watching these old French movies.

The only problem was that the melodic language combined with Sheldon's body warmth was making her sleepy and soon she felt herself drifting off to a wonderful dream about the man she loved.

And then, she dreamed of flying. Not by herself but by being lifted up magically and then landing on a soft cloud, surrounded by smaller clouds. It was cozy and warm, and it smelled so good and comforting.

Until she was nudged very gently.

"Amy?", she heard a voice. It was her favorite voice in the world. "Amy, wake up. I know you don't like sleeping in your day clothes and waking up with unbrushed teeth in the morning."

She opened her eyes and checked her surroundings.

She was lying in Sheldon's bed. He was next to her, already dressed in his pajamas.

And – she breathed in deeply – it seemed he had already showered. The strange cologne was gone and, oh this was heavenly, the scent of talcum powder filled her nose.

"You carried me to bed?", she asked, smiling at him sleepily.

"Don't act so surprised.", he told her grinning. "It's not like I have never done that before."

She chuckled. He was right. It was kind of becoming a habit by now.

"Mhmm… I missed the movie.", she realized suddenly, slightly disappointed in herself.

"I'm afraid so.", he told her. "And it's too bad, because it was kind of funny… if you ignore all that romantic mumbo-jumbo."

She smiled. "I guess you'll have to watch it with me again then."

"Yeah right.", he scoffed. "You had your chance, little lady. We're watching Star Trek again next time."

She slapped his arm playfully. "Fine by me, as long as you let me sleep through it."

She winked at him before she got up to change into her night clothes and brush her teeth.

Sheldon was still awake, when she came back to his room, and he lifted the covers for her to join him.

She was about to nestle into her pillow and pull the blanket over her, but to her surprise, Sheldon turned on his side and pulled her close to kiss her softly on the lips.

"I am sorry about tonight, Amy.", he said sincerely. "I wanted our first date in Pasadena to be perfect. I did not mean to ruin our night."

"You did not ruin it.", she answered softly. "Like I said, I appreciate your efforts. But… Sheldon, I just don't understand what has been going on tonight. We've been together for a while and we always enjoy our time together. So why did you feel you had to create the perfect date for me?"

He bit his lower lip. There seemed to be a battle going on behind his eyes. A battle that Amy did not understand.

"Amy… why did you not tell me how much I neglected you over the summer?"

She blinked. That was what this was about?

"You did not neglect me, Sheldon. You were just a bit distracted. Which was understandable. I wasn't upset with you over that, if that is what you think."

"We did not have a single date night.", he argued. "We were… different. I was different."

"You were working, Sheldon.", she tried to calm him down. "And you were surrounded by friends that you had missed for years. It's fine. Your world does not have to revolve around me all the time. Besides, the past weeks in Medford have been wonderful. There is no need to make up for the summer."

"But I don't want things between us to be different around here.", he argued. "I want you to be happy with me. In Pasadena as much as in Medford."

"I am happy with you, Sheldon.", she promised.

"But you prefer the way we are in Medford."

It was not a question. And well… he was right.

"Yes.", she admitted. "In Medford… we are just a little more… settled."

He nodded thoughtfully.

"I have been thinking about that…", he started and looked at her seriously. "I think, it's just easier to navigate our relationship in Medford. It's what we are used to. But… I want to try to achieve the same level of happiness and intimacy between us here in Pasadena. I just haven't figured out yet how to do that."

She grinned. It was so sweet of him to have these kinds of thoughts.

"Well…", she said and cupped his face. "I think, apart from going a little overboard with wanting to plan the perfect date, you're doing pretty well."

"You think so?", he said doubtfully. "Because I feel like I failed you."

She shook her head. "You made time for just us tonight, Sheldon. Even though I know you enjoy pizza night with your friends. And here we are, just us, cuddling in bed after watching a movie you picked out for me. I am very happy, Sheldon. As long as you are just yourself and there is time for us to be… well… us, I am happy with you, regardless of where we are."

He closed the distance between them and kissed her sweetly.

Not just a short good-night peck. He cradled her head and his lips moved over hers sensually.

Her heart fluttered in her chest, and she felt shivers running down her spine as she kissed him back.

"Sheldon…", she whispered as he pulled away for a second. She did not know what to say. After four days of missing him, it felt almost overwhelming, kissing him in his bed in Pasadena.

"Are you too tired?", he asked her carefully. "Because if you are, then I will let you sleep and we can continue this in the morning. But… you were talking about cuddling in bed, and I thought, that was the perfect cue to… you know…"

He wiggled his eyebrows, and she couldn't help but giggle.

But then she turned serious again.

"Sheldon, you are not just doing this because you feel you should, right? Because you're still trying to make this the perfect date night."

"Of course not.", he insisted.

She studied his face. There was a longing in his gaze. He seemed to be devouring her with his eyes already.

She knew, he was telling the truth. It was just so unfamiliar. Sheldon looking at her like that and being so eager to make love to her, here in Pasadena.

The phone call from the other night entered her mind.

"I cannot wait to show you how much exactly I have missed you."

Maybe this was it. Maybe missing her had this effect on him. Or maybe it was the fact that it had only been the two of them all evening.

Or maybe… did she dare to even think it? Maybe… was it possible that Pasadena-Sheldon did not have to be all that different from Medford-Sheldon?

The tiredness was forgotten. How could she ever say no to this?

She grasped his face and pressed a gentle kiss on his lips.

"I don't think I'll ever be too tired for you.", she whispered into his ear then. "I missed you so much, Sheldon."

"Hmm, I missed you too.", he told her.

There was no need for any more words.

Instead, she kissed him again. Sweetly and without any rush. His lips moved over hers gently. It was so familiar. And yet, it felt different after spending a few days without him.

Sheldon rolled her on her back, framing her head with his elbows as his lips descended on hers again.

She wrapped her arms around his torso, pulling his body closer. It was so comfortable. Like a Sheldon-blanket covering her completely. Her soul was bursting with love for this man as they kept kissing slowly and sensually until they had to come up for air again.

He was barely touching her, but already her body felt like it was on fire. Just like it always did since the first time they had been intimate.

She could hardly wait to have him naked on top of her and at the same time, she did not want to hurry.

Slowly, she reached for his pajama top and started unbuttoning it. He ceased kissing her just long enough to get rid of his undershirt and her nightgown.

She could feel herself blush, when his eyes roamed over her almost naked body.

In the beginning, she had sometimes felt self-conscious. Being naked in front of another person was not something she was used to. Would any man even find her attractive? She had always doubted that.

But Sheldon… she never had doubts about the way he saw her. When he looked at her like that, his eyes full of desire and admiration, she felt like the most beautiful woman on the planet. So loved and desired and cherished.

"I love you so much.", she croaked, her eyes filling with tears.

She felt a little silly, because it was not as if they were doing this for the first time. All these emotions welling up inside of her… Shouldn't it start feeling less special? But with Sheldon, somehow every time felt like the first time. After so many years of being lonely, she would probably never get used to being loved like this.

"I love you too.", he whispered and somehow, it felt different than it did days before.

Because somehow, something had shifted over these four days.

Being so far away from him for the first time since she had met him, had made her think about all the changes in her life that he had brought on. And a little bit, it was as if it had finally sunk in. The fact that her dream man wasn't just a dream anymore.

Not just a fantasy spurred on by the stories she had heard of him supported by the pictures that were hanging in Connie's house.

He was hers now. Truly hers. After years of imagining him. After lying awake longing to meet him. Wondering if he would even like her.

She had built him up in her head and sometimes she had felt stupid and immature, dreaming of a stranger who might not even be interested in her.

But now, he was here. In flesh and blood. Fulfilling all the dreams she had of him and more.

And she was allowed to feel him. To touch him. To kiss him. To finally express the love she had carried inside, hidden from the world for so long.

It felt surreal sometimes.

She let her hands wander up and down his back, trying to feel every inch of his skin, as if to prove to herself that this was real.

Finally, she tugged at his pants, and he wiggled out of them eagerly before he removed her panties as well.

"I can't believe I finally have you naked in my bed again.", he groaned into her ear. "I never want to spend a night apart from you ever again. It's torture."

His words felt like a warm summer rain on her skin, washing away the loneliness and insecurities she had felt all her life and she had to swallow away the lump in her throat.

"Agreed.", she said hoarsely. "I want you, Sheldon. Please."

"Patience, Dr. Fowler.", he whispered back. "I have waited for this for four days. And I will make this count."

She shivered at his words.

This was the Sheldon she knew. Loving and sensual. At the same time playful and sweet.

He kissed her again and let his hands roam over her body. Already she felt like she could die from the pleasure he was giving her, just by caressing her fleetingly.

He took his time. Torturing her with gentle, barely-there touches and soft kisses. Teasing her by touching every inch of her except the places where she was craving him the most. He traced her collarbone with his fingers, tickled her sides, caressed her legs from her knees to her hip bone…

"Sheldon…", she whined. "Please!"

"What do you want, Amy?", he whispered. "Tell me."

She huffed. He knew exactly what she wanted of him. He was such a tease.

She grabbed his head with both his hands and kissed him deeply, biting his lower lip lightly. He groaned again.

His hard length seemed to twitch against her upper leg. He could tease her all he wanted, but it was clear, he wanted the exact same thing as she did.

"Touch me, Sheldon.", she whispered into his ear. "Touch me. Kiss me. Take me. Please. I've waited long enough. And so have you."

She reached for his manhood to emphasize her last point. It seemed to grow even harder as she pumped him slowly.

"Good Lord, I never thought I could want anyone as much as I want you right now.", he breathed out before he sought out her lips again.

Finally, he let his hand wander between her legs.

She could hear him gasp loudly and grinned at his surprise. He should know by now how much he aroused her. Always.

He slipped his tongue into her open mouth, as he used his fingers to explore her wet folds. He had gotten so good at this. He knew exactly how to drive her crazy with his touch.

"Ohhhh.", she groaned, barely able to keep kissing him as he worked his magic on her. "Sheldon… oh, Sheldon…."

Just before she could reach her climax, he removed his fingers from her. She whined, annoyed to be denied her release. But he already reached for his nightstand to get a condom and only seconds later, she could feel him between her legs.

His eyes searched hers and Amy was glad she was lying down, because the intensity of his gaze made her knees feel weak.

"Dear Lord, I love you so much.", he whispered before he lowered himself on top of her.

She felt herself unable to answer him, so she grasped his face with both her hands and kissed him deeply.

He entered her swiftly with one stroke and she could have sobbed at the feeling of finally being one with him again.

Like every time they had done it before, having sex with Sheldon felt out of this world. And even though they had been doing this for months, it still felt so new and unique. It was never just about release or satisfaction. It was about love and trust and giving themselves to each other time and time again.

With how far gone they both had been before, she had expected him to take her hard and fast, like sometimes before when they barely managed to get to their bedroom, overcome by passion for each other.

But surprisingly, he did the opposite. He covered her whole body with his and moved inside her tantalizingly slow. It felt so intense, his gaze never shifting from hers, his mouth slightly open.

She held on to his shoulders as they kept moving with each other languidly while moaning in pleasure. Every thrust long and hitting just the right spots inside her.

Sheldon buried his face in her neck, and she could hear him breathe out heavily. "Amy…", he groaned into her ear and suddenly she saw stars.

The waves of pleasure coursing through her body seemed to be bigger than ever, prolonged by the way he kept moving inside her a little faster now, but still in a steady rhythm. She cried out repeatedly and from a distance, she heard Sheldon release a guttural moan before he collapsed on top of her.

Amy's head was spinning, and she had a hard time, catching her breath.

"Wow…", she finally whispered. "Sheldon, I have no words. You… this… amazing… I love you."

"Mhmmm.", he breathed out in her neck. "I love you too. And I love that you are here."

She had to force herself to join Sheldon for another trip to the bathroom and she almost fell asleep under the shower, leaning against him. But oh, it was so worth it.

But even though she was so tired, Sheldon fell asleep before her.

She was resting her head on his shoulder, watching him for a while, how he lay there, with a soft smile on his face.

He looked so peaceful. But before, in the car and then during dinner, he had seemed so tense and she still did not fully understand why.

This night had gone so differently than how she had expected it to go. It was wonderful, but it confused her too.

As happy as she felt right now, there were things she could not quite grasp.

She couldn't even put it in words, but something still bothered her.

Something was… different.

And she would get to the bottom of it somehow.

Missy's POV

"Auntie Amy, can you tell me what a whore is?"

Missy kept repeating her son's weird question in her mind as she was outside in the park, helping Ellis climb on the slide.

Joshua was six years old. It had only been months since she had explained to him where babies came from.

How was it possible that her baby boy was suddenly asking her about prostitutes?

Where would he pick up that word?

At school? From television?

Or maybe… she gasped… he had never listened, when a man she really did not want to think about had called her exactly that. Right?

Her phone rang in her pocket, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Hello?", she answered absentmindedly.

"Hello, am I speaking to Joshua Cooper's mother?"

"Uhm… yes?", Missy answered, furrowing her eyebrows.

"This is Grace Matthews, your son's P.E. teacher. I'm sorry to bother you, but your son hasn't been feeling well and I am wondering if you could come pick him up."

"Oh no, is it serious?", Missy asked. It was strange, Joshua had seemed fine in the morning.

"I don't think it is, but he has been complaining about stomachache for the last twenty minutes. I offered to send him to the school nurse, but he refused to go, and he has been asking for you."

Missy shook her head lightly. This did not sound like Joshua at all.

"Tell him, I can be there in fifteen minutes."

"Miss Cooper?", the friendly woman on the other line said softly. "I wouldn't worry too much. It's perfectly normal. Some kids just need a little more time to adjust to a new school. Especially with your family history…"

Your family history.

So the teacher did not really believe that Joshua was sick.

"Thank you.", Missy said quickly. "I'll be right there."

She ended the call and lifted a protesting Ellis from the slide before putting her into the stroller and walking home.

There she explained the situation to her mother who luckily had time to watch Ellis for a while.

Then she took her keys and ran to her car that was parked in the driveway.

She stopped in her tracks then and her eyes widened as she looked at her car.

On the side, someone had used red paint to write something on it.

A word that made her blood run cold.

"WHORE", it said, in big letters that seemed to be screaming at her.

There was only one person who had ever called her that.

But… it was not possible, right? He was in prison. Locked away forever.

Missy's whole body started shaking.

She walked closer to the car and swiped one finger over it.

The paint was still wet. Who would do something like this? And in the bright daylight no less?

As fast as she could, she went back into the house and asked her mother to borrow her car, promising to explain the situation later.

She could barely concentrate on the road in front of her. Instead, she kept looking around.

Maybe the person who had done it was still close by. Watching her even, perhaps.

Would this nightmare never end?