I am posting early today, because my husband is running a few errands and took all three children with him, so I am home alone for the first time in... I have no idea actually. I don't know what to do first. Have a whole cup of coffee in complete silence? Start editing the next chapter? Or get started on the laundry that has been piling up? We'll see, but for now, I am happy to share this chapter with all of you a bit earlier than usually.
As I stated before, I am a little bit nervous about posting this one. There is a development in a side story that I had not planned initially. While I was writing the first draft, one of the characters just seemed to have other plans than I had. That happens sometimes, but this time I really wasn't sure how to feel about it. I chose to see where it may lead and just kept writing. Now that I have finished most of the storylines, I think it was the right decision. I won't say more at this point, because I don't want to spoil the chapter, but I wrote something more at the end to explain a few things.
You must have known that I was lonely
Because you came to my rescue
And I know that this must be heaven
How could so much love be inside of you?
Balancing Heaven And Earth
Chapter 6 – "You Are The Sunshine Of My Life"
Sheldon's POV
Sheldon awoke with a start and reached out his hand.
Nope, this time it had not been a dream. Amy really was here. In Pasadena. In his bed.
Everything was as it was supposed to be.
He couldn't believe how fast he had gotten used to the way his life had changed completely over the past few months.
For 39 years, he had slept alone. On his back in the middle of the bed. Without the sound, movement or scent of another person next to him.
That's why it was highly illogical, the way he felt on this blissful Friday morning when he woke up.
Amy was curled up by his side, snoring lightly, one hand slipped under his pajama top, resting on his belly. Her left leg draped over his hip.
And he, well, he felt happy and satisfied and overcome with love.
But most of all – like every morning he got to wake up next to her – he felt grateful. For this second chance at life that he had gotten after his heart attack. And for getting to spend this life with Amy.
He had to get up soon. Unlike Amy, he had to go to work after all. But he did not have the heart to pull away from her and risk waking her.
Especially because he had cut her sleep short by ravishing her the night before.
He wanted to feel guilty about it, but he simply could not. Not after the intense way they had made love. Not after the way he was still feeling this morning.
And, if he was honest with himself, not after the pangs of guilt he had sometimes been feeling for the past few days.
Guilt for not being intimate with her as frequently during their summer here in Pasadena. And for not being as attentive to her as he had been over the past year.
How could that have happened?
He did not love Amy any less here than he did in Medford. That much was clear.
If anything, he loved her even more. Because through her presence, his life here was more enjoyable than it ever was.
He had to admit though, he had been distracted. Somewhere along the way, between game nights with his friends and days spent at his office, he had somehow forgotten about expressing his love to her.
One thing was clear. He would do better from now on.
He needed Amy to be happy here in Pasadena. But even more than that, he wanted her to feel loved on every day during their life together. She deserved it. And he deserved it too.
Amy stirred in his arms, and he smiled, happy because he got to see her wake up before he had to leave.
"Good morning.", he whispered softly.
"Good morning.", she replied, her voice sounding raspy.
He kissed her cheek, and she nestled closer to him. And then he heard her say something that made his heart beat faster.
"I missed this."
I missed this.
Exactly what she had said in Medford a few weeks ago. The same words that had made him feel anxious. Afraid he could fail to make her happy in Pasadena.
He tried not to get too excited.
"You did?", he asked instead.
She looked at him curiously.
"Of course. Don't act surprised, Sheldon. I told you every day."
Well… not exactly.
She had told him she had missed him. Not 'this'.
"I'm just curious to hear what exactly you mean.", he said tentatively.
She raised her eyebrows at him.
"You just love hearing it, don't you?", she teased him. "I missed feeling like this, Sheldon. Medford just does not feel like home anymore without you."
"Really?", he asked, a lump forming in his throat.
She just nodded in response and buried her face in his chest again.
He realized he felt the same way about Pasadena. These whole four days, as much as he had enjoyed being with his friends, things had felt off somehow. It was only now that Amy was here, that he felt like himself again.
"And… does that mean, Pasadena feels like home now that you are here with me?", he dared to ask. He knew he was entering dangerous territory.
She looked at him strangely. "You would like the answer to be yes.", she stated.
He shrugged. "Yes. But I also want to hear the truth."
"Well…", she sighed. "The truth is… I am very happy to be here with you. I have been looking forward to this weekend. Girls' night. Becky's Birthday party. But I think… it's just a little too soon to say it feels like home. Home is…"
"Medford.", he finished her sentence. "Medford when we are there together."
"Yes.", she answered. "I am sorry, Sheldon. I know that's not what you wanted to hear. I am trying. Maybe these things just take time."
He nodded thoughtfully. They did have a little time. Eight months to be specific.
"Is there anything I can do to make you feel more at home?", he asked her carefully.
"Sheldon…", she looked at him seriously. "Where is this coming from? Are you no longer happy with our arrangement? Please tell me if that is the case."
"No. No, that's not it.", he reassured her. Which was the truth. He wasn't unhappy with their arrangement per se. He just needed to… accelerate things a little bit. "But… Amy, we agreed to spend some time in Pasadena. We never elaborated on that, but I really would like to travel here sometimes."
This was the truth at least. Even if there was more to it.
Finally, her worried expression turned into a smile again.
"Of course, Sheldon. That's why I requested to work part time in the first place. We can come here as many weekends as you want to."
That's what he had hoped to hear from her. In his mind he already made a plan to bring her here at least once or twice a month. Maybe for some holidays too.
But he still needed to figure out something very important.
So far, his friends' advice had not helped at all, so he did what he probably should have done in the first place. Get his information from the source.
"Good.", he nodded. "But I want you to be comfortable when we are here. So, I'm asking again. What can I do to make you feel more at home? Apart from reserving some time for just us?"
She shrugged. "I really don't think there is anything you can do, Sheldon."
"Really, nothing?", he said and raised his eyebrows at her. "Not even… more of what we did last night?"
She grinned at him.
"Well… last night was amazing."
He agreed with every fiber in his body.
Which led him to his next question.
"Amy, please be honest. How unhappy were you over the summer?"
He could see her cheeks turn slightly pink. It seemed she did not really want to answer. But he needed her to, so he held her gaze and waited.
"Sheldon, I understand why things were the way they were."
"You said that already.", he nodded. "But that does not answer my question."
She sighed.
"I wasn't unhappy… but… I did feel homesick at times.", she finally confessed. "I was never upset with you, Sheldon, but part of me… just had not expected things to be so different. I was happy for you for getting your life back and I do not want you to feel bad. But I just don't know… I guess I missed… us."
He nodded thoughtfully.
"And…", she continued. "Things did not exactly become easier when Rajesh moved in."
"But you agreed on that.", he protested. "You said it was a great idea. I would have never offered him Leonard's old room otherwise."
"It was the right thing to do.", she said. "He's your friend and this apartment would have just been empty most of the time anyway. It's just… Sheldon, apart from Connie and you, I have never lived with anyone my whole adult life. I'm used to privacy. And in Medford, we have the whole house to ourselves. It's strange, sharing a bathroom with someone I hardly know. Or thinking about the things he might hear through the walls…"
Sheldon nodded. Yes, that last thing bothered him too. He did not really like the thought of having an audience.
"Do you want me to tell him to find his own place?", he offered.
"No, Sheldon. Absolutely not.", she insisted. "Certainly not as long as we aren't living here permanently."
He nodded. She was right, it would not make sense, asking him to leave right now. But he would have to rethink this arrangement in the long run.
"You don't have to worry about him hearing us tonight.", he promised. "I think I have an idea."
"Tonight?", she asked and grinned at him cheekily. "What's tonight?"
He kissed her lip softly.
Tonight was comic book night for him. And girls' night for her.
And after that… he would follow up on a few ideas that had come to him while he was lying in his bed alone, missing her.
"You'll see.", he promised, and winked at her.
His alarm rang before she could ask any more questions.
It was a shame, really. He would have preferred to spend the morning in bed, talking to Amy.
They took turns getting ready and when he went to the living room, Amy had already prepared French Toast and was sitting at the kitchen counter across from Raj.
"So, Amy, what are your plans today?", Sheldon heard his friend ask just that moment.
He sat down, curious to hear the answer. He felt a little guilty for not even thinking about how Amy would pass her time while he was at work.
"I'm visiting Bernadette at her lab in the morning. And then I will go to lunch with both her and Penny.", Amy answered, and Sheldon smiled fondly. It pleased him immensely that she would be spending time with his friends.
"And after that…", Amy continued, although her voice was a lot quieter now, as if she did not really want to say it. "I will be spending part of the afternoon at my parents' house."
Her parents?
Sheldon knew, they lived somewhere close by, so he realized in that moment, how strange it was that they had never visited them over the summer. Amy had never even talked about it.
He knew how important family was to Amy. How come she had never introduced him to her parents?
Was she maybe afraid he would not want to meet them?
"Do you want me to try and take the afternoon off?", he offered quickly. "I could come with you."
"No. No, Sheldon. That is not necessary.", she replied, a little bit too fast for his liking.
"Why not?", he wondered. "We are getting married. You know my entire family. Is it not customary for me to meet yours as well?"
"Yes.", Amy agreed. "And you will. Soon. Just… not today. I don't want you to take the afternoon off for this. After all, you came here to settle problems that started with you being absent too much. No need to make your bosses angry again."
Her explanation seemed logical to him.
But still, he couldn't help but feel something was up.
What was she not telling him?
Was she ashamed of her parents? Was that it? Did she not want him to see where she came from?
Or worse… did she think her parents wouldn't approve of him?
No. That was just crazy. He was Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Who, in their right mind, would not approve of him?
He asked Raj for his opinion a little later when they were driving to work.
"I would not read too much into it.", his friend shrugged. "Maybe she wants to spend a little family time just with them. She'll probably introduce you next time."
Sheldon decided to believe Raj. For now.
If only for the fact he did not need one more thing to worry about when it came to his and Amy's future.
The day passed by quickly.
Part of him was sad that this was his last workday before returning to Medford. It was nice, being in his office again with his friends stopping by to chat occasionally.
Sheldon felt a little bit guilty, having these thoughts.
He was committed to stick to his and Amy's plan and he had embraced living in Medford and working from home. He also intended to keep to his promise to always choose Amy over Pasadena. If she did not want to move, he was determined to give up his life here and live in Medford forever.
But it did not change the fact, that, deep inside, he was hoping for a different outcome.
Deep inside, he wished, it were always like today. Going to work, meeting his friends and then coming home to Amy.
At five in the afternoon, Sheldon was done with his work for the week, so he went to the cafeteria, looking for Raj.
But he stopped in his tracks, when he saw someone, he had definitely not expected to be here.
There she was. His Amy. Sitting at a cafeteria table with Dr. Gunderson and two women he assumed were biologists too.
It was a picture he could definitely get used to.
He smiled fondly as he watched her. Amy was speaking and the other three seemed to be hanging on her every word.
Of course they were. Even if they were only biologists, they must have realized how brilliant and interesting Amy was.
"Sheldon!", Amy exclaimed as she turned her head and spotted him. "Come join us!"
Dr. Gunderson stood up and got another chair to the table, so Sheldon could take a seat next to Amy.
"Hey.", he said and smiled at Amy. "I did not know you were coming here today."
Amy's smiled back brightly.
"I didn't either.", she said. "After visiting my parents, I realized I had nothing to do. So, it was either go find a bookstore or surprise you here. I chose the latter."
"Good call.", he nodded.
"I stopped by your office two hours ago, but you were so engrossed in your work you didn't notice me. So, I chose to come here and have some tea instead."
"That's where I found her.", Dr. Gunderson continued.
"Dr. Gunderson saw how bored I was, so he took me to the biology lab and pretended to need my assistance.", Amy said and winked at him.
"I did not pretend anything.", the older man protested. "Dr. Cooper, your fiancée is too humble. She helped me out a great deal today. Thanks to her, we now know exactly how to proceed with our newest interoception study."
"It's so fascinating.", Amy said, and her eyes were sparkling as she explained further. "Dr. Stevens will be conducting a study on the impact of interoceptive awareness on the physiological stress response."
Sheldon's felt his heartrate accelerate. This was perfect.
"And you were able to help them?", he asked in awe. She had been out of the academic field for so many years.
"Oh, it's no big deal.", Amy brushed him off. "I conducted a similar study a few years ago. Although back then, we just did not have the technology that exists now. I am sure, the results will be most fascinating."
"You are always welcome to check in when you are in town.", Dr. Gunderson offered. "Dr. Stevens already said, she would be happy to hear your opinion. She's very talented, but she does not have your experience."
Sheldon saw how Amy was blushing because of all these compliments.
"Well, we did say we were going to come here every few weeks.", he said as casually as possible.
"Perfect.", Dr. Gunderson exclaimed. "Dr. Fowler, maybe you can tell me sooner when you'll be here next time. I would love to hear your opinion on a few more of our pending studies. Maybe you could consult on one of them eight months from now."
Sheldon's breath hitched in his throat. Of course, President Siebert would have told Dr. Gunderson about the meeting and his timeline. Who else knew? And how could he stop this information from spreading further?
"E… eight months?", Amy asked and furrowed her eyebrows. "What do you…"
"Oh boy, would you look at the time?", Sheldon all but shouted. "I'm sorry, Dr. Gunderson, Amy and I really have to leave now. We both have plans tonight and we don't want to be late."
With that, he got up and pulled Amy with him.
"Sheldon, it's not that late.", Amy protested as she checked her watch. "The other guys aren't even here yet."
But as if they had sensed his predicament, his friends chose just that moment to enter the cafeteria.
They seemed a bit surprised, when Sheldon told them they had to leave right now, but luckily, they did not protest, and he managed to get Amy out of the University before she could start suspecting anything. Or at least that's what he hoped.
"So, apart from being the new hero of the biology department, how was your day?", he asked as they entered his apartment. "Did you have a nice time with the girls? And your parents?"
"I did.", she nodded. "Bernadette's work is not as interesting as Neurobiology, but her lab is impressive."
Not a word about her parents. Curious.
"We had lunch at the Cheesecake Factory.", she continued as she put her bag on the couch. "Did you know both of them used to work there? And before that, we went to get our nails done. I've never done that before. Look."
She showed off her hands and Sheldon was happy about her excitement, even though he could do without this change in her appearance.
"Sounds like you girls had fun.", he said.
"We did.", she said again. "It almost makes up for the fact that we're not having girls' night tonight."
"You're not?", he asked surprised. "But… why?"
This was bothering him a lot. The plan for tonight had been that he would go to the comic book store and then play video games while she would be out with Penny and Bernadette.
"They have to work late.", she explained. "Their company has developed a new drug, so there will be a big marketing meeting tonight."
"Oh.", he said, searching for a solution. "But… then what are you going to do tonight?"
"Don't worry about me, Sheldon.", she told him and put her hand on his arm. "I'll just have a quiet evening."
He frowned. No, he would certainly not go back to the way things were over the summer.
Having Amy spend a whole evening alone while he played video games with his friends did not fit into his plan of making her want to move here.
"I could cancel.", he suggested, even if his stomach churned at the thought. The comic book store and then game night with his friends had been one of the things he really had been looking forward to. "We could do something else with the guys instead. Or have another date night if you want."
"No, Sheldon.", she told him and caressed his arm. "It's really sweet of you to offer, but I know how much you've been looking forward to this. We are flying home in two days and then you won't have this opportunity for another few weeks. It's really no problem for me to be alone tonight."
Sheldon felt torn. It would be so easy to just take her up on her word. But he was on a mission here.
They both looked up, when Raj cleared his throat. Sheldon had almost forgotten that he was here too.
"Amy, if you want, you can come to the planetarium with me. You have never seen one of my shows after all."
Amy and Sheldon exchanged curious glances.
"But…", Sheldon stuttered. "Aren't you coming to the comic book store with us?"
Raj made a face that Sheldon couldn't quite figure out.
"No.", he answered. "I'm not. I haven't been to the comic book store with the guys since they moved it to Fridays. Because I always have to work at the planetarium on Fridays."
Huh.
That would kind of solve his problem, Sheldon thought to himself. Unless of course, Amy did not want that.
"Amy?", he asked and looked at her imploringly.
Amy seemed to hesitate for a few seconds.
"I mean…", she said tentatively. "It's true. I always wanted to see his show… So… I guess that's what I will be doing tonight. Thank you, Rajesh."
Raj's POV:
Well, now that was just great.
Not only would all his friends be going to the comic book store without him again. A fact that pained him greatly all by itself.
But now he was stuck with Sheldon's fiancée for the night.
It was not as if he did not like her. But she was still essentially a stranger to him.
He had seen her hesitation to go with him, so apparently, she was not very fond of the idea of spending the evening in his presence.
Why then had he offered to take her with him?
Hadn't he already done enough for Sheldon this weekend?
Like sitting at Howard's place all evening and coming up with romantic ideas to text Sheldon after Amy had ruined the initial plan to go out for dinner?
He had tried his best to save their date night after this strange woman had so foolishly decided to just order pizza to the apartment.
He hadn't even heard a 'thank you' for that.
Also, why would he care if Sheldon and Amy moved to Pasadena? Did he really have to see another one of his friends starting a family and leaving him behind? And not just any friend. But Sheldon Cooper.
"I'm sorry you're stuck with me tonight.", Amy said to him as they got into his car together.
Did she just read his mind?
"It's okay. I don't mind.", he lied.
"No, I mean it.", she insisted. "I'm sure you have better things to do than babysit your roommate's future wife. Like spending time with your girlfriend."
"Girlfriend?", he looked at her astounded. "I don't have a girlfriend."
Was she trying to mock him?
"Oh.", she said. "I just thought, Penny said something about you dating a woman you met at the planetarium. Back on the day when we just met."
Raj felt a wave of sadness coursing through him.
"Oh, you mean Julie. Yeah, that ended a few weeks ago.", he grumbled.
"Gosh, I am so sorry.", she offered. "I did not mean to remind you of this. I'll just shut my mouth now."
"It's okay.", he lied again. "You did not know."
Both of them were quiet for a while as painful memories filled Raj's mind.
Why did he have to be reminded of Julie tonight?
"Do you… want to tell me what happened?", Amy offered.
Raj took a side glance at her.
He did not want to. Not really.
But then again, this almost-stranger was the first person who had asked him about his break-up. All his friends had been too busy with their own lives.
"It was… not a big deal.", he said softly. "We dated for a while, but it did not work out."
"So, if you met her at the planetarium, does that mean she works there too?", Amy implored.
Raj shook his head. Luckily, that was not the case.
"No. She saw one of my shows and came up to me afterwards to ask me out. That happens at times. But usually, it ends after one or two dates."
"Oh.", Amy replied.
Nothing more. He couldn't blame her. It was pathetic.
"Let's just talk about something else than my pathetic love life.", he suggested. Even though he did not know what that could be.
"Well, for what it's worth… my love life was pathetic too. Up until I met Sheldon, I never went on more than one or two dates with anyone."
That was maybe the most personal thing, Amy had ever told him. And it was strange, but somehow, the fact that she did not make fun of him but instead tried to relate to him made him say the next sentence.
"Julie was… amazing.", he told her before he could stop himself. "Beautiful and sweet. For a short time, I was really happy. I thought I had found the one."
"I'm sorry, Rajesh. That must be hard. Why did it not work?"
Raj shook his head.
"The same thing that happens every time. We dated for a few weeks and then she dumped me. She said 'I am sorry, but I just don't feel it.'"
"Ouch."
"It's okay.", he shrugged. "You get used to it."
That was a lie of course and judging by the way Amy looked at him, her eyes full of pity, she did not believe a word he was saying.
"I just…", he huffed. "I wish I could have what you and Sheldon have. I'm sick of being lonely."
He had not planned to admit this to Amy. At all.
"I know what you mean. I've been lonely all my life.", Amy said softly. "I am sure, things will work out for you in the future."
Raj looked at her surprised. He did not believe her. But it was very kind of her to tell him that.
"Thank you.", he said and smiled at her.
Maybe he had misjudged Amy. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she moved here with Sheldon.
They arrived at the planetarium shortly afterwards. Raj led Amy to her seat and went backstage to get ready, before he came out on stage to do his show.
At least he was good at that.
He loved this.
The attention on him. Rows of people listening to what he had to say.
And of course, the applause.
It lifted his spirits and boosted his confidence. By the end, he was finally feeling good about himself again.
He let his eyes roam over the audience and inadvertently his gaze rested on Amy.
She was clapping enthusiastically, and her eyes shone with excitement.
Maybe that was what Sheldon saw in her, he mused. He could understand how it would make Sheldon feel good, having a girlfriend who was this excited about his accomplishments.
"Wow, Rajesh, that was amazing!", she exclaimed as she walked up to him later. "You were born to do this show."
He instantly felt a few inches taller, hearing her words.
"Thank you, Amy.", he nodded at her. "That's really nice of you to say."
They walked back to the car, and somehow, something felt different.
Why did he ever think Amy did not like him? Maybe she was just shy with new people. Like him.
Maybe he should make an effort to become her friend. He really could use a new friend in his life.
"Hey, do you want to go grab dinner?", he asked before he started driving. "The others probably ordered Chinese Food when they came back from the comic book store. I am sure it must be cold by now and I do not really feel like heating up stale food."
Also, he still kind of resented the guys for doing all these fun things together on the one night when he had to work.
"Alright. I'll just text Sheldon and tell him I'll be back a little later than planned."
He drove them to Big Boy then and – he had no idea how that had happened – for the first time since he had met Amy, he did not feel a distance between them.
First, he answered her many, incredibly detailed questions about his planetarium show.
Then she wanted to know how he became an astrophysicist in the first place. How he ended up in Pasadena. If he missed his family.
And then – again, he had no idea how that happened – he told her about all his failed relationships and how he sometimes felt like a failure compared to all his siblings. And sadly, also compared to his friends.
He told her about how he feared he would be alone for the rest of his life. Something he usually only shared with his closest friends.
He looked at Amy a little more closely as they ate their burgers.
When he had seen her the first time, all these months ago, he had been confused. He guessed it was nice that Sheldon had found himself a girlfriend. But her? This was supposed to be the woman that Sheldon loved so much that he would turn his life upside down for her?
He just did not see it.
She was dressed not only too modestly but also not fashionable at all. Compared to other women he knew, she looked kind of… boring. So serious. She reminded him of the teachers at a British boarding school he once went to.
But now, as she was sitting across from him, he noticed a few things about her that he had not seen before.
Her long hair was so shiny and the barrette she was wearing somehow made her look younger. Cute in a way.
And her eyes. He usually did not notice them behind her thick glasses, but they had a beautiful shade of green and they were sparkling when she talked about the things that interested her.
Yes, he decided, maybe he could understand what Sheldon saw in her. At least a little bit.
Maybe with the right clothes, she would even be… pretty.
"Rajesh?"
He snapped out of his thoughts.
Amy was looking at him expectantly.
Oh crap. She must have asked him a question.
"I'm sorry…", he said. "I think I did not understand you properly… over… the noise here in the restaurant."
She smiled at him, showing off her pearly white, perfect teeth.
"I was asking you if you are really okay with being here while your friends are playing video games without you."
"Oh.", he answered. "Yes, sure. I mean… they already started without me, so there's no point anyway to show up late and as I said… the cold food."
She looked at him imploringly.
"Sounds like you are not really happy with the situation."
Raj sighed. Well, if she was so good at figuring out how he felt, she really was the perfect woman for Sheldon.
"It's just… don't get me wrong, I am happy to have Sheldon back in our lives. But… our friends keep fussing over him. It's already hard, being the only single guy of the group. But lately, it's as if I don't even exist for them unless they need something from me."
She nodded in understanding.
"I get that.", she answered. "But I am sure, this will get better with time. Sheldon being back must still be so new for everyone."
"Maybe you're right.", he agreed. "But it's hard not getting offended. They always make time for him. For online gaming nights and video calls and they are even trying to…", he stopped. Wow, that was a close one. He had almost told Amy about that stupid mission to get her to move here. "Uhm… trying everything to make up for the past years. This week… they were over at the apartment almost every night. I usually never see them that much. And they just had to move comic book night to Friday for Sheldon. The one time during the week when they all go out to have fun together, just has to be when I have to work. It's like they don't even care if I am part of the group or not."
Wow. He had never said that out loud. It felt good. But he wondered if it was a good idea. Talking about this to Sheldon's fiancée of all people.
"I am really sorry you feel that way.", she said and the concern in her eyes made his heart melt. "Have you tried talking to them?"
He scoffed.
"They would just make fun of me. Howard especially. Just like he did when I applied for the job at the planetarium."
He could see by the way she looked at him that she was pitying him. And that made him feel even more pathetic. So, he quickly changed the subject.
"What about you? Are you okay with being here tonight? Going out with the loser of the group while your future husband who hasn't seen you in four days is playing games with his friends?"
"You are not a loser, Rajesh.", she said, shaking her head at him. "And yes, of course I am okay with Sheldon spending time with his friends."
"Really?", he said doubtfully. "You fly all the way from Texas to California just to end up spending the evening with someone you hardly know?"
"Sheldon needs this.", she replied simply. "And it was the plan from the beginning to spend this evening apart. It's not his fault that girl's night got cancelled. Besides, it has been nice, getting to know you. You know, with us being roommates and everything."
She was right. It had been nice. But something made him not want to let this go.
"But… wouldn't you prefer Sheldon wanting to be with you tonight instead of with his friends?"
Amy looked at him incredulously.
"Rajesh, we both heard Sheldon offer to spend time with me tonight. But what kind of partner would I be if I did not let him have this time with his friends? We had date night last night and tomorrow, we will be attending Becky's birthday party together. Sheldon deserves to do what he wants tonight."
He looked back at her seriously.
"Not every woman would be so understanding. Sheldon is lucky to have you."
"As am I.", she countered. "Sheldon is willing to live in Medford with me for now. Letting him have this evening is the least I can do in return. He is… amazing. Sheldon truly is the best thing that ever happened to me."
Again, Raj felt tempted to tell Amy about Sheldon's secret. To prove to her that the man she loved was more selfish than she thought he was. Raj shook his head. What was wrong with him?
"I think you are the first person to ever have uttered this sentence.", he chose to say instead.
Amy looked at him sternly.
"I know you guys have been friends forever and I only have known him a year, but sometimes I think you are too critical of Sheldon. Almost from the day I have met him, he has been nothing but amazing. He was a great friend to me for months and when we ultimately started dating…"
She paused and closed her eyes, a soft smile appearing on her lips. Raj couldn't help but wish someone would smile like this while thinking of him.
She opened her eyes again.
"… let's just say, he exceeded everything I could have ever dreamt of. So no, I don't mind his hobbies or the fact he is having game night tonight. To me, he is perfect. Exactly the way he is."
Raj was astounded. This was maybe the most romantic thing he had ever heard from a woman. It was baffling that this was Sheldon Cooper's fiancée talking like that about him.
And to think, she could have in his life for ten years…
"I'm sorry, Amy.", he blurted out.
Amy furrowed her eyebrows.
"You don't have to be sorry. You just spoke your mind."
"No.", he shook his head. "I am sorry for what happened ten years ago. You were mugged because of me. You could have died. It was a horrible thing, setting up that date and not making sure it was cancelled. You must hate me for it."
"Rajesh…", she reached for his hand across the table and patted it reassuringly. "It's okay. If I had not been mugged… I might not have moved away. I might not have ended up in Medford and met Sheldon. So, in a way… you did me a favor."
Raj chuckled. He had never seen it this way. It was ironic, the part he had played in his friend's love story. He was basically the sidekick in their romantic movie.
The drive home felt completely different from the drive to the planetarium earlier.
He and Amy talked and laughed, and again, he wondered, why he ever felt like she did not like him.
Their friends were just leaving the apartment when they showed up at the door.
"So… tomorrow…", Howard said and looked at him expectantly before he went down the stairs.
"I'll come early and help you with the decorations.", Raj promised begrudgingly.
"And the food.", Howard added.
"Of course.", Raj sighed.
He went into the apartment then, just in time to hear the end of a conversation between Sheldon and Amy.
"I missed you too.", Amy just said to Sheldon who was holding both her hands in his.
Boy, he would never get used to the way Sheldon looked at Amy. Just like earlier, they did not even seem to notice his presence.
"I should have cancelled game night and come with you instead. It does not feel right, spending the evening without you when you are here."
"Sheldon…"
Even from his location by the door, he could hear the love in Amy's voice, and a weird feeling started to form in his stomach.
"Luckily, the night is still young.", he heard Sheldon say and decided that this was his cue to leave.
"Guys, I am going to bed. Thank you, Amy, for coming with me tonight. Good-night you two."
"Wait.", Sheldon called, and he turned around just as he reached the hallway. "Take this."
Raj accepted the package Sheldon pushed into his arms and looked at it curiously.
"Headphones?", he asked, raising his eyebrows. Why would Sheldon give him headphones.
"Noise cancelling headphones.", Sheldon answered. "I already synced them with the TV in your room. Please make sure to wear them for the next few hours."
He did not know what to say, so he just left the room and took the headphones with him. This was… so weird.
He quickly used the bathroom and got ready for bed and just as he slipped under the covers, he heard someone giggling in Sheldon's room.
Raj huffed and put the headphones on. He definitely did not need one more reason to be jealous of Sheldon.
He zapped through the channels then. 'Love Actually' was on, but although it was one of his favorites, he couldn't bring himself to watch it tonight. It would just make him even sadder.
An hour later, he decided it would be safe now, to put away the headphones, which turned out to be a mistake, when he heard Sheldon's voice.
"Oh Amy, you naughty vixen."
He groaned and put on the headphones again. Nope, he definitely did not need to hear that.
Maybe he should reconsider living in this apartment. It felt lonely when Sheldon was in Medford and his friends wouldn't visit. But it felt even worse right now, sharing it with a happy couple.
He tossed and turned on his bed. Because he was feeling miserable but also because wearing the headphones in bed wasn't really comfortable.
After a while, he finally felt himself drift off to sleep. And then, he was caught in a strange dream. Maybe the strangest he had ever had.
Everything was in black and white.
He looked down his body to realize, he was wearing a black, pinstriped three-piece-suit and leather shoes. He reached for his head and realized he was also wearing a hat, which he was sure matched his attire perfectly.
There was jazz music playing from one of the shops on the busy, paved street he was currently walking on.
And then he saw his destination.
A small coffee shop. He peaked through the window to see it was almost empty. So it wasn't hard to spot her. She was standing at the counter, her back turned to him. A silhouette of beauty and elegance.
He took a deep, steadying breath and opened the door. The weight of the news he was about to deliver was resting heavily upon his shoulders. This was not going to be an easy task.
He took in her appearance as he walked up closer to her.
She was wearing a form-fitting, silver sequin dress that accentuated her wide hips. The plunging back showed generous glimpses of her creamy white skin.
Her curly hair was held back by several shiny barrettes. The locks seemed to dance in the soft glow of the room, adding a touch of allure to her already enchanting presence.
"Aimée.", he said, the words escaping his lips in a tone that seemed deeper than usually. The sound hung in the air, almost tangible, as if it carried the weight of the news he was carrying.
She turned around and his breath was knocked out of his chest by her beauty.
The pearl necklace adorning her V-shaped neckline rested perfectly against her skin. His gaze involuntarily followed the necklace's path, adoring the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she drew deeply from the cigarette between her deep red lips. He watched as she exhaled, the smoke forming small circles that danced and dissipated into the air.
Her silver eye shadow mirrored the sparkle of her dress and emphasized her mesmerizing green eyes. Those eyes, so beautiful, now looked up to him with a hint of insecurity. Her vulnerability tugged at his heartstrings.
"Yes?", she asked in a husky voice that was laced with anticipation.
He took one more step towards her. Now came the hard part.
"I am so sorry.", he began, his voice filled with empathy and regret. "But… he's not coming."
"He's… not?", she uttered, her voice trembling with disbelief. He saw tears welling up in her eyes. "But… He has to come. He's the one. Without him… I cannot…"
In an attempt to offer her comfort, he put a hand on her bare shoulder.
"Hey.", he said soothingly. "It's okay. I know you are sad but… you do not need him. You'll see."
She sobbed, unable to hold back her sorrow any longer. "You really think so?", she croaked. "But… what will I do?"
He cupped her face with both his hands. His gaze met hers, holding her eyes captive as he spoke softly.
"It's all good. Rajesh is here now."
She grasped his hands with her own.
"Rajesh?", she asked her voice a whisper filled with curiosity and a glimmer of possibility.
"That's my name, baby.", he revealed, a soft smile touching his lips. Still cupping her face, he leaned in.
Dramatic music played in the background as their faces grew closer, the anticipation of a kiss hanging in the air. A kiss that would forge a connection between two lost souls, so they both would no longer be alone in this world.
Raj awoke with a start.
What? But… No.
Oh, holy crap.
Okay. Before you get mad at me, please let me explain a few things:
The whole part about Amy looking boring and needing a different attire are Raj's thoughts, not mine, in case it wasn't obvious. I did not like writing them down, but I guess we all know how 'appealing' Raj found Amy on the show.
Also, I want to clarify this right now, although I think, those of you who have read my other stories will already know it: There will not be a love triangle. No matter what feelings Raj will have (or will think to have) for Amy, those will at no point be reciprocated. Sheldon and Amy are a hundred percent secure in their relationship and nothing will change that. Maybe at some point, they will figure out what's going on with Raj (I haven't written all the details yet), but it will not impact their relationship.
This is part of Raj's story, and of course it will impact his behavior and maybe cause a bit of trouble for him. It will also cause him to learn a thing or two about himself and in the end, it might even lead him to happiness. We'll see. Until then, I hope you trust me with this part of the story.