The next morning, Elizabeth found the fact that she could not return Nathan's, 'I love you,' troubling. Part of her wanted to. She knew that her husband deserved her love. She knew that she cared for him deeply. Her desire to make his birthday a happy one yesterday was proof of that. She knew that she loved him in the same way she loved Rosemary, Lee and Bill. However, that was different from romantic love.

Elizabeth still wasn't sure that she loved Nathan in that way. Until she knew her heart, she was reluctant to say those words to him. She had broken his heart enough times already. She would not add to it now.

Standing on the porch, the following morning as Nathan headed off to work, Elizabeth found herself saying a prayer. It was a prayer for her husband's safety and well being, yes. However, it was also a plea to God to help her sort out the feelings that swirled within her. A prayer for God to help her to become the wife that Nathan deserved. She knew she was safe with Nathan. He continued to show that he would never require more of her than what she would willingly give. However, every time she thought of getting more intimate with Nathan than a kiss, the fear and pain would bubble up within her. Being with Lucas during those last months had been anything but pleasant. She did not want to engage in that activity and deal with the pain and the fear. She did not want to feel helpless in her own home.

A tug on her skirt brought Elizabeth out of her thoughts. Looking down, she saw Jack standing next to her.

"Ally and I finished dishes. We go into town now?" Jack asked.

Elizabeth laughed. As the opening of the Amaryllis was a big deal for Archie and by extension Ally, Nathan had promised the girl a new dress for the occasion. Going through his clothes, Elizabeth realized that Jack was growing out of his dress clothes. The plan was for the three of them to go to Dottie's Apparel, now run by Kat Montgomery, to get the children new outfits. Nathan had asked her if she wanted to buy a new dress for herself. Elizabeth had declined, pointing out that this was a perfect occasion to wear the birthday dress he had bought her.

"When did you start being so anxious about clothes shopping?" Elizabeth asked the boy, looking down at him.

"I want a suit like Nathan's," Jack told her, a big smile on her face.

Elizabeth felt a mixture of panic and pride. Pride because her son had a wonderful role model to look up to in Nathan now. Panic because if the shop didn't have a suit similar to Nathan's grey suit in Jack's size, Elizabeth was afraid her son would have a melt down.

"We'll see what we can do," Elizabeth told the boy. "Go see if Ally is ready."

Jack's response was to turn and run back in the direction of the kitchen, already yelling out his question. Elizabeth smiled. She should have anticipated that response.

Hearing a car pull up, Elizabeth looked up to see Rosemary pull her car to a stop in front of the house. Turning off the car, Rosemary then leaned across the front seat to talk to Elizabeth through the open passenger side window.

"Ally asked me Saturday to help her find the perfect dress," Rosemary explained. "Originally, I was planning on meeting you in town but I thought you and the kids might enjoy a ride."

"It will definitely be easier. We are almost ready."

"There is no rush," Rosemary told her. "Gabe is not expecting me at the newspaper office until around lunchtime."

"Will you come inside then?" Elizabeth asked.

Rosemary nodded and climbed from the car. As they entered the house, Ally and Jack were climbing the stairs. "We'll be ready to leave shortly, Beth," Ally told her, Jack's hand in hers.

"Thank you, Ally," Elizabeth said. Knowing that Jack was in good hands, she turned to Rosemary. "Jack just told me he wants a suit like Nathan's, Rosemary," she told her friend. "I am assuming it would be the grey one Nathan wore when we said our vows. What if I can't find something similar."

"Then I will make it for him," Rosemary said simply.

"I can't ask-"

"You are not asking," Rosemary said, cutting off the protest. "I am volunteering. Go get Nathan's suit so that we can match the material."

Elizabeth nodded and headed up the steps herself.

In the end, it was simply a vest that Rosemary needed to make to finish off Jack's suit. The grey pants and jacket were easily matched by Kat and would only need only a few alterations. Kat told Elizabeth she would have them done by Wednesday. Rosemary found the need material for a small vest like Nathan's suit vest, promising Jack that Aunt Rosie would have the vest ready in time for the grand opening on Saturday.

Ally's dress proved to be a bit more of a challenge. The girl was uncertain of what she wanted, first going one direction and then deciding she liked a different style altogether. Elizabeth was reminded of shopping trips with her sisters and mother, where she would often get bored and start reading while the others tried on more dresses. She was wishing for a book now. She was thankful for Rosemary who didn't seem bothered by the teen's indecision.

Finally, Ally had settled on a pale yellow dress. The satin skirt fell to just above the ankles. White daises decorated the hemline. A pretty white sash looped around the waist. The top was the same yellow satin, covered by a paler, filmy yellow material that softened the dress and gave it a light, breezy appearance. The sleeves went to midway between the shoulder and elbow. Elizabeth thought Ally looked pretty and grown up in it.

It was almost eleven o'clock by the time everything was settled. Kat had even done a few minor alterations to Ally's dress right there so the girl could take the dress home with her that morning. As Rosemary breezed off to the newspaper office, Elizabeth looked down at the children, one on either side of her.

"What do you say we go see if your Dad is in his office? Perhaps he can join us for an early lunch," Elizabeth said, noting how natural it seemed to be referring to Nathan as both of the children's father. Yes, Jack sometimes still used Nathan but for the most part Jack called him Dad. Elizabeth had no doubt that in every way that mattered, Jack looked to Nathan as his father.

Both kids excitedly agreed to the idea. The trio made the short walk to the Mounted Police Office. Walking inside, they found both Nathan and Gabriel in the process of mopping the floors.

"You have to mop the floors of the jail?" Ally asked as both Mountie's looked in their direction.

"Did you think the floors mopped themselves?" Nathan asked.

Ally gave her dad an exasperated look.

Nathan chuckled and then turned his attention to Elizabeth. "To what do I owe this surprise visit?"

"Well, we just got finished getting the children's outfits for Saturday," Elizabeth stated.

Nathan's gaze went to the clock in the office. "Did you get a late start?"

Elizabeth laughed. "No but sometimes it takes awhile to find just the right dress."

"Are you going to stop wanting to go fishing with me next?" Nathan asked, looking to his daughter.

"Noooo," Ally said, dragging the one syllable word out. "Sometimes though a girl just wants to look pretty," she said.

Nathan smiled. "I guess I can't begrudge you that."

"Given the time, I thought we would stop by and see if you could join us for an early lunch," Elizabeth told him.

"He can," Gabriel said quickly, before Nathan could answer.

"Are you sure?" Nathan asked.

"I think I can handle mopping the floors," Gabriel countered. "Besides, I wanted to take Faith on a picnic lunch sometime this week. This way, you cannot very well tell me no."

Everyone except Jack laughed.

"What is so funny?" Jack asked, looking from one adult to another.

"Mountie Gabe is trying to bribe your Dad into letting him ask Dr. Faith out on a date," Nathan said, leaning his mop against the bars of the jail cell. He closed the distance between himself and Jack and picked the boy up. "And you know what?" Nathan asked the boy looking him in the eye.

"What?" Jack asked.

Elizabeth smiled at the sight. This was the kind of interaction with a man that Jack needed in his life. There was no longer any doubt in her mind that she had made the right choice in accepting Nathan's unorthodox proposal. It was the best choice for Jack. It had also been the right choice for her. Elizabeth knew that no man would treat her any better than Nathan did.

"I am going to let him so I can have lunch with you, your Mama and your sister."

"Good," Jack said, clapping his hands.

"I'll be back in about an hour," Nathan told Gabriel as he ushered his family toward the door.

"I'm timing you," Gabriel teased as he went back to mopping.

Nathan whispered something to Jack. Looking over Nathan's shoulder, Jack pointed a finger at a dry spot on the floor. "You missed a spot," Jack said, with an impish grin on his face.

Nathan and Ally both chuckled as Gabriel shot Nathan an annoyed look. Elizabeth bit her lower lip. She thought the antic amusing but was trying to be diplomatic. Gabriel deserved one person on his side.

Despite the annoyed look, Gabriel remained silent as the Grant family exited the Mounted Police office. Once outside, Nathan lifted the boy to his shoulders. Elizabeth watched the look of wonder that crossed Jack's face as he took in the town from his new vantage point.

"Mama, I can see everything from up here!" Jack exclaimed happily.

Elizabeth smiled, watching her son from beside Nathan.

~This is what is important, ~ Elizabeth thought to herself. ~Moments like this. Not candles, champagne, shows and people to wait on you. Yes, they were nice, but the moments from her childhood that stood out the most was simply being with her family enjoying things together. If you didn't have that, none of the rest mattered.~

Feeling a touch on her arm, Elizabeth looked to the other side to see that Ally had looped her arm through her own. She smiled at the girl as she committed the details and the emotions to memory planning on putting it down in her journal so she could look back on this moment when she felt sad and know that things would be all right.

Nathan sat in the armchair, his feet up on the ottoman, reading The Last of the Mohicans. The James Fenimore Cooper novel was one he had always intended to read but never seemed to get around to. The copy he was reading had been in the collection of books that had been moved in when Elizabeth moved in with him and were now on the bookcase against the wall.

Jack had been put to bed. Every so often a faint giggle could be heard from Ally or Opal, as the two girls were holed up in Ally's room. Elizabeth was writing in her journal. It was a quiet, relaxing evening.

Nathan reached the end of the page and went to turn to the next one, when a soft sobbing sound reached his ears. Looking up from his book, he looked over at Elizabeth. Even with her back to him, Nathan could tell his wife had her head bowed and that the quiet sobbing was coming from her. Marking his spot in the book, Nathan set it aside and got to his feet. He moved quietly to Elizabeth's side.

"Beth, what's wrong?" Nathan asked softly, placing a hand on the back of her chair as he squatted down next to her. He wanted nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and hold her close, until the tears ended but he knew that was not what was in Elizabeth's best interest. He had made that mistake with Colleen one time and it had put his sister into more of a panic.

Elizabeth didn't answer right away. Nathan stayed quietly beside her, planning to give her time to adjust to his presence before trying again. Elizabeth gave no indication that she heard him. Perhaps she hadn't. Still, Nathan did not want to rush anything.

Nathan was about to question her again when Elizabeth finally spoke.

"Lucas raped me," Elizabeth finally said through her tears. Nathan got the impression that it was the first time that Elizabeth had put what happened to her in those terms. "I told him no on numerous occasions but he did not care. He only wanted what he wanted. I was just another possession to him."

Nathan wondered what had brought this realization on for Elizabeth today, but he did not question it. Not right now. The why was not important. Letting her express herself and providing comfort and reassurance was what was important. If that meant going to get Rosemary if Elizabeth wanted nothing to do with him in this state, then that was what he would do.

"What did I do to deserve that?" Elizabeth asked.

Nathan brushed the back of Elizabeth's hair lightly with the hand that had been on the back of her chair.

"Absolutely nothing," Nathan told her softly. "No one deserves to be treated that way. None of what happened was your fault, Elizabeth."

"Wasn't it?" Elizabeth asked, looking toward him. Nathan could see the desperation that he heard in her voice, in Elizabeth's eyes. "I chose, Lucas. I wanted the familiarity of material things over the uncertainty of genuine emotions. I got exactly that. Lucas never truly loved me. He could not have and what I felt for him was only surface deep. I wanted to protect myself from ever feeling the kind of loss that I did when Jack was taken from me. Instead I found a misery that was sometimes worse and I traumatized my son in the process. I am a horrible mother."

"You are a good mother who just got lost in her own pain. Everyone makes mistakes. Jack is healing and it is because of your love."

"You are the one that makes him feel safe," Elizabeth countered.

"Perhaps," Nathan conceded. "However, Jack still wants to share things with you. Remember when I came home in a bad mood and he put himself between you and me, Beth? You are still his mother. That boy needs and loves you."

"I hear the sound of Jack's head hitting the banister after Lucas pushed him in my head. I see it in my nightmares. Jack was trying to protect me and I couldn't protect him. I couldn't even fight off Lucas to comfort him when he was hurt," Elizabeth said her tears getting stronger.

Slowly, Nathan reached out to wrap his arms around Elizabeth. She didn't resist but leaned into him.

"You were both victims, Beth."

"Bill, Lee and even you all offered me help. In my pride, I turned it away. My pride wouldn't let me admit that I had chosen wrong."

"Pride can be a terrible thing but it does not make the person a terrible person," Nathan told her. "Let yourself forgive yourself, Elizabeth. The rest of us have forgiven you. I have forgiven you and I love you."

"I don't deserve your love," Elizabeth murmured as she leaned against him, still sobbing.

"You do," Nathan told her, kissing the top of her head. "You do deserve it and one day you are going to realize it. When that day comes, I am going to be right here, Beth. I am not going anywhere."

The two of them fell silent after that. Nathan simply held her close as she cried out the emotions she was finally working through. Eventually, she fell asleep against him. Instead of waking her, Nathan picked her up in his arms and carried her upstairs. In their room, he managed to pull back the sheet and laid her on her side of the bed. Elizabeth's tear stained face tore at his heart. He only hoped tonight had been a step toward healing for her.

Nathan removed her shoes, covered her with the sheet and walked quietly out of the room. Going to Ally's room, he told the two girls to get ready for bed before going downstairs to tidy up and turn out the lights.