The next morning dawned, grey and drizzly. Though not the hard down pour of the night before, it didn't appear as though the rain was going anywhere. Elizabeth fretted about Nathan going to work today and being damp all day. Nathan chuckled softly and told her it wasn't the first time he had worked in bad weather. He then reminded her that the more it rained the quicker their new pond would get filled without further labor from him.
Though he made light of her fretting to him, inside Nathan thought that perhaps her concern was indication that Elizabeth cared for him more than even she was willing to admit right then. Between that feeling and the memory of the night before, Nathan felt like he was floating on air as he rode Newton into town.
Coming down the street, one look at Gabriel as he tied Apollo's reigns around the hitching post outside the jail told him his friend did not feel the same way. Even at a distance, Gabriel looked like he was dragging. As Gabriel headed into the office, Nathan detoured to the café. Apparently it was his turn, to be the one bearing coffee.
It wasn't long before Nathan was leaving the café with more than just coffee. When Nathan had said he needed coffee for Gabriel, Clara had made the comment about him needing more than coffee. Calling to Jesse, who was leaving for the lumber office, Clara asked her husband to take Newton down to the Mounted Police office.
"You are going to have your hands full," Clara had added, looking at Nathan.
Indeed he did. Nathan had a basket with some blueberry muffins, strawberry danishes, and brownies. Clara had confided she knew that the last item was Gabriel's favorite even if it wasn't a breakfast food. Clara had tucked two mugs and some sugar into the basket. She then filled a large thermos with coffee. Another mug held milk so that they could flavor the coffee just as they would like it.
Reaching the Mounted Police office, he found Jesse waiting on the porch.
"Let me get the door for you," Jesse said, seeing Nathan approach.
"Thank you," Nathan said, as he walked through the door that Jesse held. He immediately spotted Gabriel at the desk. His friend had not bothered removing his hat, and from the way his head rested on his hand, Nathan had a feeling his friend had dozed off already.
That feeling was confirmed when the sound of the door, shut normally by Jesse, caused Gabriel to jump a bit. His head slipped off his hand and the hat ended up on the desk. If it wasn't for the bleary-eyed look in Gabriel's tired expression, Nathan would have laughed.
"You look horrible," Nathan commented, walking toward the desk.
"Please tell me that is coffee," Gabriel replied, not bothering acknowledging Nathan's observation.
"Coffee, muffins, danishes and brownies," Nathan told him as he started to place everything on the table.
The basket had no sooner touched the wooden surface of the desk than Gabriel was searching in it. Nathan was not surprised when his friend pulled out a brownie.
"Do not judge me," Gabriel told his friend, glaring at Nathan as he took a bite of the chocolatey dessert.
"Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," Nathan commented, trying hard to keep his tone neutral.
"I feel like I did not even get time in my bed last night," Gabriel said, having swallowed a bite of his brownie already.
Knowing how Gabriel liked his coffee, Nathan started making his friend a mug.
"A call came in from Benson Hills about a report that a guy had left the saloon there, unsteady on his feet and then got in a car and headed this way. They sent a Mountie after him but asked that I come from the other direction. I came across the guy stumbling along the road minus the car. The guy could not coherently string three words together. I am not even sure how he was still on his feet. I started leading him back toward Benson Hills. The Benson Hill Mountie had found his car about a quarter of a mile back in a ditch."
Gabriel took a sip of the hot coffee that Nathan had handed him.
"I hope that guy got to sober up in a jail cell."
"Yes, in Benson Hills," Gabriel said. "It had to be around one in the morning when I got back into town. I took care of Apollo, went home, changed out of my soaked uniform and crashed on my bed only to be awoken by Faith between three and four this morning." He took another sip of coffee before continuing. "She was hysterical and as I tried to figure out what was so bad that the town's doctor would be that upset, it finally registered that she was having a meltdown over the wedding. Apparently she had a dream of one thing after another going wrong with the wedding ending with instead of me saying 'I do' telling her that I would rather marry Fiona right there in front of all the gathered guests."
"Well, even if Fiona was your type, I know you, Gabe," Nathan said calmly, a trace of humor in his voice. "You would at least have the tact to tell Faith that before the wedding started."
A ghost of a smile touched Gabriel's lips at his friend's comment. "Just please do not make jokes around Faith. I got her calmed down about an hour ago. I left her sleeping at her place. Put a sign on the infirmary that she would not be in until later and to come back this afternoon barring an emergency. I got changed and here I am."
"And here you can stay," Nathan told him, now sipping his own mug of coffee. "I'll do rounds myself this morning. Perhaps you could even try out one of those beds in there and take a nap. Though I would keep the key on you in case Bill tries to lock you in the cell."
"I'll keep that in mind," Gabriel replied. "It looks like you had no trouble sleeping last night."
"I think I slept the best I have in a long time last night," Nathan told his friend, sitting down in a chair across from Gabriel and reaching for a danish. Yes, he had eaten a good breakfast before leaving home but the fruity pastry looked too good to pass up.
Gabriel studied his friend as he nibbled on the muffin he had taken from the basket, having polished off the brownie.
"Did you finally discuss your situation with Elizabeth," Gabriel said, referring to the feelings that had been keeping Nathan from getting a good nights sleep, some nights.
"It came up," Nathan told him. "Though I may have been more then ready to go for a walk again."
"Did you realize it was raining last night? Even the slicker didn't keep me dry in that down pour last night."
"I was aware of that, yes," Nathan replied. "The rain was actually why Elizabeth questioned me going for a walk. I couldn't lie to her and eventually she figured out the real reason I was going for a walk."
"And from your cheery disposition this morning, my guess is that the situation was taken care of without the walk," Gabriel proposed, a smirk on his face despite his lack of sleep.
Though heat rose in his cheeks, Nathan did not bother denying his friend's words. The silence was all the confirmation that Gabriel needed.
"I predict that by the new year, Elizabeth will have told you that she loves you. Perhaps we both will even be expecting children."
"We'll see," Nathan said. "Honestly though, I am already getting more out of this marriage than I expected. If things stayed exactly how they are now, I would be content."
"Is content really the most that you hope for?" Gabriel asked.
Nathan knew the answer to that question. No, it wasn't the most he hoped for. He hoped that one day Elizabeth could return his love. He was afraid that saying that out loud though might jinx things.
Nathan got to his feet. He placed his half-drunk mug of coffee on the desk. "I should go do rounds," he said. "There is more coffee in the thermos if you need it and Clara would probably give you a refill if you ask. Just save me a muffin," he told his friend heading for the door.
"The muffin I may be able to accommodate. I don't promise there will be a brownie in sight when you come back."
Nathan shook his head. The thing was though, he could be right. Brownies never did last very long around Gabriel.
Opal showed up about midmorning. Elizabeth was happy to see her former pupil. Though she knew that teachers were not suppose to have a favorite, to herself Elizabeth would admit that Opal always had been her favorite. She had taken to the little girl right from the start. Had helped the girl through her fears. Watched her when the Weise's went out of town. Sat at her bedside after Jack had pulled the girl from the burning schoolhouse.
When Ally had come to Hope Valley none of that had changed. Opal was still Elizabeth's favorite student though Ally had soon claimed her own special place in her heart. It felt different though. Perhaps because while Opal had two parents who loved her and comforted her when life got hard, Ally had lost her parents. Yes, Nathan loved the girl. She had never been in doubt of that from the moment she had seen his reaction when he found out she had skipped her first day of school. Even with that love, Ally had been missing a mother figure in her life. Elizabeth knew her interest in Ally had quickly gone beyond teacher and student. She had never regretted that. Ally had needed that influence in her life. What Elizabeth did regret was her later disregard for that relationship she had let develop when she had started seeing Lucas. Ally had deserved for her feelings to be treated with respect, not trampled on like they didn't matter. Her relationship with Ally should have been treated with more sensitivity to the girl's feels.
Just like she should have handled that last conversation in the jailhouse with Nathan with more sensitivity to his feelings. Any sensitivity would have helped really. She had not even given him a chance to speak and that reason she had given made her cringe even now.
Opal and Ally immediately settled on the floor with Jack, engaging the boy in their time together. Granted, the fact that Jack was playing with Nate probably helped as all three children were fascinated with the duckling. Still, Elizabeth was thankful for Ally and Opal spending time with her son. Jack had not had much time to interact with other children these last few years. She had worried how he would adjust to the social aspect of school.
Honestly, Elizabeth worried about sending Jack to school period, given the accounts of the new teachers she had heard. Though that, was a year off. Perhaps Hope Valley would have different teachers before then.
Though that, did not help Ally and Opal now. Elizabeth had considered approaching Nathan about letting her home school Ally but she had held back. Part of her worried that Nathan might think she was overstepping by interfering with Ally's schooling. Part of her worried that Ally would rather go to school than be home schooled by Elizabeth. Giving all that she had heard about the teacher for the older students, Elizabeth was not sure her fragile emotional state was strong enough yet to handle that kind of rejection.
While the kids played with the duckling in the sitting room, Elizabeth went upstairs to do some dusting. That was what she was doing when Rosemary stopped by at lunch time with Aster. Elizabeth welcomed her friend, though she wondered if she would have a chance to have a heart to heart with her friend with three kids in the house. Even if the girls went upstairs, Jack was old enough that certain conversations could not be had within range of his ears nowadays.
By the time lunch was finished, the rain had stopped. Ally and Opal begged to be able to put on slickers and rain boots and go outside. Jack soon joined in. Elizabeth finally gave in provided that Ally and Opal take Jack with them. She didn't bother telling them to stay out of the puddles. She remembered being a kid. However, though overcast, the day was not cool and the kids could put on dry clothes when they came in. Opal would fit into one of Ally's dresses and as much as the children were together, getting the garment back would not be an issue.
With the children outside, Rosemary and Elizabeth had a chance for a heart to heart. Rosemary had noticed that Elizabeth seemed different and wasted no time in questioning her. Though she kept details to herself, Elizabeth admitted to being intimate with Nathan. She also confessed that feeling of feeling like she was holding a part of herself back from the experience.
"Maybe you are," Rosemary replied softly. Her words held compassion not condemnation. "Perhaps it is your heart's way of protecting you from more trauma."
"Nathan would never treat me like that!" Elizabeth exclaimed immediately. She was surprised at the defensiveness in her tone.
Rosemary gave her a sad smile, though if she was offended by the idea that Elizabeth thought that she was implying otherwise, it did not show in her demeanor or her response.
"I know that," Rosemary stated calmly. "Your head knows that. However, Elizabeth your heart has gone through so much pain. It could be that you still haven't convinced your heart to make itself vulnerable again."
Elizabeth nodded. Rosemary's words made sense. As she looked down at Aster sleeping peacefully in her arms, she heard Nathan's caution of what if she became pregnant. She felt a pang of guilt at the memory of the baby she had lost. It was another child she had failed to protect. Then again, perhaps God had his own reasons for calling the child home so early.
"Nathan was worried about what people would know if I got pregnant," Elizabeth commented, her eyes focused on Aster's serene expression as she slept. "Of what people might say."
"People would probably talk," Rosemary admitted. "However, know that those whose opinions' matter would be ready with love and support for the both of you, should it come to that."
Elizabeth looked up at her friend. "That means a lot to me. As does the fact that you have been so supportive of Nathan through all of this. He needed someone to ask him how he was through all of this, when so much of the focus was on me. I plan on being more supportive of him in the days to come."
"Good," Rosemary replied. "Though please don't get jealous if I still walk with him on his way home on occasion. I am kind of enjoying our chats."
Elizabeth laughed, recalling her and Rosemary's early interactions. "I won't," she assured her friend. "I know how much you love Lee and I think that Nathan might go running in the opposite direction if someone as outgoing and forward as you showed interest in him."
Rosemary laughed, though she nodded in agreement. "Constable Grant can be a bit conservative at times that is for sure. Though the real truth of the matter is that the only person Nathan has had eyes for since coming to Hope Valley has been you, Elizabeth, despite everything that has happened."
"I know," Elizabeth admitted. "When I think of what his love has survived, I feel so in awe of it and unworthy."
"You have never been unworthy in Nathan's eyes, Elizabeth. Or in God's. Or in mine for that matter, though there were times I wanted to shake some sense into you."
"Perhaps you should have," Elizabeth said quietly, knowing that she had treated a lot of people terribly the last couple of years. "Can I share a secret with you, Rosemary?"
Rosemary reached out and laid a hand on Elizabeth's arm. "Of course."
"I think part of me wants another baby, Rosemary. I know I was scared to bring the baby I lost into the world, but the thought doesn't scare me now. A baby would be something that I could give to Nathan after all he has done for me."
"Nathan is a wonderful man and a wonderful father," Rosemary stated. "Anyone can see how much he loves Ally and Jack but a biological child of his own would be a nice legacy for him."
"Is it wrong to want his child if I can't return his love for me, Rosemary?" Elizabeth asked looking up.
Rosemary patted her arm gently. "Elizabeth, you do care about Nathan. I can see that and so can others. You might not be ready emotionally to think of it as love, but the feelings are there. When you are ready, you will realize that. In the meantime, the only ones who have any right to judge what goes on between a husband and wife behind closed doors are that husband and wife. If both of you are honest about what is going on and why it is going on, then there is nothing wrong with your actions. If a child should come along, I have no doubt they will be loved just as much as the other two children affected by your marriage to Nathan."
Elizabeth felt some heat in her cheeks at the frankness of her friend, but she was grateful to Rosemary for them.
"You're healing, Elizabeth. That is a good thing," Rosemary added.
Elizabeth nodded. She sat quietly, thinking over what had been said. The more she mulled over Rosemary's words, the more at peace she felt with what had happened the night before and her realization that she did want Nathan's baby.
Rosemary sat quietly, giving her friend time to sort through her thoughts and feelings. When Elizabeth did speak again, it was to ask Rosemary about herself. Knowing that it was Elizabeth's way of saying that she felt the previous conversation was over, Rosemary responded, speaking first of the newspaper.
When the children came in over a half hour later, all three of them were dripping wet, as was the duckling that had gone out with the children. Jack held Nate now, the duckling contently preening wet feathers as it rested in Jack's hands.
Rosemary reached out for Aster. "I think you have a little boy to get into dry clothes," she said. "And I should probably head home. I have absolutely no idea what to make for Lee's supper."
"Thanks for stopping by, Rosemary," Elizabeth said, surrendering Aster to Rosemary.
"I am glad I did," Rosemary told her. "I can see myself out."
As Rosemary headed for the door, Elizabeth instructed the three children to remain right where they were while she went for towels. Three puddles of water were much easier to clean up than trails of water everywhere.