31: Despair Bear

I've decided that I should start hanging out more with female company.

No way I was going to be hanging out with Marinette or Alya any time soon, but I have other classmates to choose from.

So I've been hanging out with Alix, Mylène, Rose and Juleka.

But out of all of them, I like hanging out with Alix the most.

We don't talk a lot, and we distract ourselves by doing physical activities. She would be on her roller blades while I was skateboarding.

It was a nice distraction, and I love feeling the wind against my face. It almost reminds me of surfing as I cruise the roads instead of waves.

Alix stopped in front of a bench, and I stopped beside her. Wordlessly, we sat down and relaxed as we took out our helmets.

"That was fun," She smirks.

I nodded, "I should have hung out with you sooner."

"Totally," She grins. "So, what changed?"

"I've realized that I really don't get out much," I answered honestly, "With girlfriends.

"I mean," I rubbed the back of my neck, "I love Adrien and Nino. They are my best friends, but there's only so much testosterone I can be around."

Alix laughed, "Never thought I would hear you say that. But why me? Not that I hate hanging out with you."

"I want to be outside, not cooped inside a house or some other building. I can do that on my own," I replied.

"I heard that you went with Mylène and some others to get André's ice cream last week," She says. "How was it?"

I winced, "Truthfully, I felt like a third wheel."

Alix hummed, "I suspected. Mylène invited me too, but I declined. Made an excuse about being with my dorky brother." Then she sat up straighter, "You're not telling Mylène that, are you?"

I zipped my lips.

Alix smiled and relaxed.

"You know, I've been noticing something," She says. "And please don't take it the wrong way."

Cautiously, I sat up straighter and looked at her. Softly I asked, "What is it?"

"You've been avoiding Marinette as much as possible."

"I'm glad for your bluntness," I started, feeling my mouth dry, "Um, what do you think about it?"

Alix turned her body so she could face me too. "Honestly, I don't know. It's just… weird. I know you guys weren't like best friends or anything, but you guys were still very friendly.

"But you just suddenly started an almost-silent treatment out of nowhere. Did something bad happen? I mean, I can't imagine what, but it seems a little serious."

Could I tell her?

"It's my fault," I started softly. "And she doesn't know it."

"Okay, now you lost me," Alix frowns.

I sighed, "Do you know who she has a crush on?"

Alix smirks, "Of course. I'm surprised Adrien hasn't-" Then she stopped. Her smirk faded and then looked at me with an open jaw as she pointed at me.

I looked down at my lap. "Alix, I understand if you don't want to talk to me, but-"

"Wait, now what are you talking about?" She says. "I need context."

"But-"

"Forget my reaction," She brushes me off. "You and Marinette are good friends. And I don't want to pick sides. But I still would like to hear your version."

I can't be completely honest with her, but at least I can confess that I love Adrien.

"If it wasn't for Adrien, I wouldn't have such good friends like you. Much less have this amazing friendship I have with him and Nino," I started. "Adrien was the one to open up to me, and that in turn, made me open up to him, and Nino.

"I loved him as my friend first. But then-" I hesitated. I could lie a little, but is it really a lie?

Just not saying the complete truth. And not telling it how it happened in the right order.

I touched the side of my face where a bruise was there months ago, "When I thought I wasn't going to make it, my last thoughts were of Adrien and how much I wanted to see him."

Against my will, tears were falling and I wiped them away as I looked away from her.

I took a couple of breaths to calm down and it helped a little.

"I realized that I had fallen for my best friend. And I was going to regret not telling him."

"Jolene…" Alix said softly and before I knew it, she had an arm around me. I tensed up for a bit, before relaxing. "Marinette has been crushing over for him since almost the beginning of the school year. And that girl hasn't done anything, but been a flustered mess.

"I don't know why she's crushing over him. Maybe I'll never know. But at least I know it wasn't love-at-first-sight nonsense for you, because honestly, that's a crappy reason to fall for a person."

I giggled, "Yeah, I never did understand how that happened in real life."

"I don't hate you, Jolene," Alix says, "If that's what you're worried about. And I promise I'm not going to tell anyone."

A huge weight lifted from my shoulders.

"Thank you, Alix. It means a lot to me."

"I know how to keep secrets, just like I know you can keep them too."

I couldn't express how grateful I was with Kathy's company and advice.

Of course we didn't spend a lot of time together, just about an hour after she got out of work.

We went to a beauty salon where I got a full-Brazilian wax (any type of wax) for the first time. And let me tell you that it was very painful, but not as much as it could have been.

Kathy told me to take a painkiller, so all I did was hiss in pain for a few seconds after the beautician pulled the wax strip (of many) in a blink of an eye.

It was weird having someone seeing my privates, but I understood that she was just doing her job.

Kathy was right there to keep me company and to hold my hand.

I may have squeezed her hand a little too tight in my moment of pain.

After that was over, Kathy took me back to my apartment and gave me instruction on aftercare and recommended that I research more about it.

"When did you subscribe to magazines?" Adrien asks as he looks over my tablet and sees me reading a Cosmopolitan article.

"A couple of days ago," I answered. Then I looked up at him, seeing that he was holding a glass of cold water.

"Have you been working out more?"

He nodded, "D'Argencourt has been training us more intensely since our senior teammate is going to leave the team soon. And we want our team to compete in the finals. You know… for him."

I smiled softly, "I understand. When will you guys start competing?"

"In three days from now," He answers. "Will I see you there?"

"Of course," I grinned. "Should I wear a cheerleader outfit and bring pom-poms?"

Adrien drank the rest of his water like a shot and placed it on the table. Then he took my tablet away from my hands and placed it on the table too.

My eyebrows raised and I let out a little yelp when he turned my chair, the wooden legs screeching against the friction of the tile floor.

We were facing each other and then he walked towards me, his legs spread so I was in between them.

"As much as I would love to see you wear a crop top and a miniskirt, I don't think I would control my jealousy when other guys are seeing it too."

He nipped my ear, and started to kiss me along my jawline and then finally kissed my lips.

His hands grabbed my face and I held onto his shoulders. He pulled me away from the chair and walked me towards the kitchen island.

He grabbed my hips and sat me on the island and continued to kiss me.

"I still want to cheer for you," I managed to say once Adrien started to kiss my neck.

"You can give me a private show," He says as he grabs my face. "I would enjoy that very much."

I couldn't help what I asked next, "Is that a fantasy of yours?"

We both blushed.

But Adrien shrugged, "Not my first choice, but definitely top ten."

"You have a top ten?" I smiled wryly. "What's your number one?"

"…Neko girl," He blushed brighter than before.

My jaw dropped.

But then I smiled softly, "One day, it will be real."

He smiled back and this time kissed me tenderly.

"I love you," He whispers as he leans his forehead against mine.

"I love you, too," I replied.

"Jolene!" Plagg yells as he flies towards us.

He had my iPod in his hands, "Where's the charger?! I need to know what happens next! I need to know if Alfonsina finally learned the truth about her husband's real mistress!"

"It's in my room-" Plagg flew away before I could say anything else.

We laughed as Adrien helped me down the counter.

"So do you have any costume fantasies?" Adrien asks.

"Not until now," I admitted. "When I put on my neko costume, it's going to be tight fitting, most likely leather, and heavily Catwoman inspired. And I want you to be Batman."

I was very grateful that Plagg didn't leave my room.

We made a mess in our respective pants.

I don't like skipping school if I don't have to. But this was the earliest day appointment I could get with my doctor, and frankly, I didn't want to wait much longer.

My appointment would be during the final hours of school, so I could at least do the French and Science tests that were going to happen that day.

And also coincidentally Kathy had the day off too. Which worked for the best.

I'm glad we didn't have to wait long to meet the doctor.

Her name is Dr. Lebrun, and she's been great.

Kathy let me talk to her alone about my sex life, or rather, my soon-to-be sex life.

She recommended that I take the pills for at least six months before getting the implant.

She asks me questions about my overall health and to give her the name of my primary doctor so she could have my health chart.

After getting the pills, Kathy suggested we go get a mani-pedi.

And I agreed.

The last time I had one was in Vegas. And it's time I applied nail polish.

It was relaxing and I was forgetting that I had only missed half a school day when suddenly I received a text.

And not just any text, it was from Chloé.

Interest piqued, I opened it.

You're invited to Chloé Bourgeois' awesome party at the Grand Paris Hotel. See you there.

Naturally, I had to make sure it wasn't some hack.

"I know it's out of the blue," Adrien says as I place my phone on speaker and rest it on my desk. "But I think Chloé is doing this because of what I told her earlier today."

"I swear I'm gone for three hours," I mutter wryly. "What happened?"

And so Adrien explained to me how Chloé called the fire department at the school so that our classmates wouldn't finish the macaroons Marinette's dad was teaching them how to make.

And then he said something I didn't think he had in him.

"I told her that if she's not going to be nice to people, then I don't want to be her friend anymore."

My jaw dropped.

But then I softly asked, "It must have been a difficult thing to say."

Adrien sighed as I could hear him lay down on something, probably his couch or his bed.

"It was."

I waited for him to continue after the long pause.

"We've been friends since we were toddlers," He started. "Our mothers were really good friends.

"And after Chloé's mom left for New York for her career… my mom made me promise to be there for Chloé."

"And you've been keeping that promise," I smiled sadly.

I don't like to judge people. But something about parents leaving their children, especially when they are well-off, rubs me the wrong way.

My dad was, in my not so humble opinion, one of the greatest composers of his time. I remember him talking with his movie friends on the phone, even before he died, about how they wanted my dad to be a composer for films again.

And he rejected those offers every single time.

I asked him about it when I was eleven.

And I will never forget his answer.

"In different circumstances, I would," He told me. "If we were struggling to make payments to the house, the bills, the business…

"But that's not the case," He stated. "We live comfortably. Sure, if I've accepted the jobs, we probably would be living in a bigger house and afford private school for you and your sister.

"But those can't replace what I would be missing if I left my special ladies.

"I want to be part of your lives and be your dad. And of course, a loving husband for your hot mama.

"It would kill me if I had to leave you all for something we don't need."

I wonder if Chloé would be a different person if her mother actually did parenting? The possibility we will never know.

"Yeah, but I can't keep that promise when Chloé has passed the line too many times," Adrien's voice brings me back to the present.

The conflict in his tone made my chest heavy.

"I remember fondly of the days when we were younger. And I was happy to be friends with her.

"Afterall, she was the only friend I had."

"Then keep those fond memories," I told him softly. "I'm sure those moments were precious. But sometimes when a person you care about starts to hurt others, especially innocents… you will have to reconsider your relationship with them.

"What Cholé has done… has no excuse," I frowned. "And as much as I hate to admit it, she cares for you. And she cares a lot that you consider her a friend.

"She's using a party as a way to prove herself to you. A way to show that she can be a good person publicly to you."

"…Yeah, that's what I thought too," He sighs. "But that means that she's willing to try to change, right?"

I smiled wryly, "She's willing because of you, mi Cielo."

"Is that jealousy that I hear?" He teases.

"Of her. Not a chance," I laughed, "Now, for the party, what should I wear?

"Any suggestions?"

"No dresses," He immediately says. I rolled my eyes, but I was smiling fondly. "Just use your usual clothes."

"Alright," I answered. "I'll see you at Chloé's party."

"See you there," He says before hanging up.

Adrien said to wear my usual clothes, but he didn't say anything about my hair.

Ever since I stopped wearing wigs, I've been letting my hair down freely. My hair created a curtain of waves that Adrien had lovingly described in his poem.

But today, I decided to put it up in a high ponytail.

Nothing big, but I did want to change my appearance for a little bit.

I managed to see Alix on the way towards the Grand Paris Hotel and caught up to her.

"Hey, Alix," I greeted her.

"Yo," She replies as she puts her hands in her pockets. "You got invited too?"

I nodded, "So tell me what happened?"

She raised an eyebrow, "You didn't ask Adrien or Nino?"

"I did ask Adrien, so I haven't had a chance to ask Nino, but I want no gaps in the truth," I said softly.

"Do you think Adrien might have sugarcoated it?" She asks bluntly.

I blushed and nodded. "So… Can you tell me?"

And so she did. Alix added the fact that Adrien forgot to mention. Chloé threatened to call her dad to get out of the punishment of cleaning the school.

"I swear if I hadn't missed that part of school, I would have made Chloé take part of the punishment," I grumbled as I crossed my arms in front of me.

"Talking about that, where did you go?"

"I had a doctor appointment," I answered easily. "It was my aunt's day off so she could take me."

Alix nodded her head, "Ahh. So, are you good?"

"Thankfully yes," I said, "They just want to check up on me in three months."

Alix gave me a weird look and I hoped she wouldn't ask me for more details. I would really hate lying to her.

"Well, at least by then we would be on summer vacation, right?"

I smiled, "Yeah. Do you have any plans for summer?"

She shrugged, but she grinned, "I plan on getting faster in my skates, want to join me?"

"That sounds fun," I smiled back, but then I rubbed a hand behind my neck, "But I need to see when I have time. I'm going to be busy with… animations and the stuff that comes with it."

Before she could ask more, we arrived at the hotel.

Many of my schoolmates were already there in the lobby, waiting for the next elevator to take us to Chloé's party.

When it was our turn to take it, we were with Ivan, Mylène, Kim and Max.

We made small talk, mostly wondering to ourselves about how Chloé as a host was going to be.

They talked a little bit more, but I got an email notification that I had to check.

Then suddenly everyone was looking at me.

"What?" I blushed.

Alix smirked, "We were asking about Sea Queen's latest contribution with Jagged Stone. Anything you want to say?"

"Um… what do you guys want to know?" I asked and soon the doors opened to reveal a rather nice reception.

Everything was decorated for a party.

Balloons, streamers, lights, tables filled with finger foods and punch bowls.

"Now this is a party!" Kim punched the air.

"Glad you can make it," Chloé suddenly appears in front of us.

Kim didn't waste time to greet her with the customary cheek kisses.

I noticed Chloé tense up, but she looked resigned and greeted everyone else the same.

Suddenly it was my turn and the rest of the party goers were suddenly watching us too.

"Glad you could make it, Baudelaire," Chloé says tensely. "I thought you were sick since you missed school."

I smiled wryly, not missing a chance to mess with her a little.

"You are so considerate, but I'm fine. Thank you for inviting me. That was kind of you," I smile innocently.

"That was kind of me, wasn't it," She says rather haughtily, but then she composed herself and in a flash, gave me the cheek kisses.

"Enjoy my party," She says before she has to greet the next group of people that got out of the elevator.

"Wow," Alix smirks as I join her by the punch bowl island counter. "You don't see that everyday."

"Yep," I nodded, "I wonder how long that's going to last." I added softly.

"Do you really think a person like Chloé is going to change overnight?" Alix scoffs.

"Not really," I answered honestly. "But she is capable of being nice. It just needs to be worked on."

Alix frowns, but shrugs. "I wouldn't be surprised if she would return to her old ways, but at least you are hopeful."

"Someone has to," I said wryly. "Want to dance with me?" I asked sheepishly.

Alix laughed as she took my hand. We danced for a while when I felt someone tapping my shoulder.

I turned around and saw Adrien.

I grinned and hugged him.

He hugged me back.

I slowly let him go and looked back at Alix who looked like she was seeing us for the first time, before giving us a sly smile.

"Came to steal Jolene from me, Adrien?" She jokes.

Adrien laughs as he gives her a sheepish smile, "You don't mind?"

Alix looked between us before smiling, "Nah. Have fun you two."

And so it was just Adrien and me.

But then Nino came running towards us.

"Jolene!" Nino greets me. "Chloé said I could use the DJ set!"

"That's nice of her," I commented wryly.

Nino nodded excitedly as he looked towards the direction of the toys he was ready to play with.

"Do you have a song you want to request? Totally giving my best buds priority," He grins.

"Electro swing would be nice," I said shyly, "But do it when you think would be the most appropriate time."

Nino nodded and looked at Adrien.

"A slow dance," He smiles. "I'm sure you would like to dance with Alya."

Nino gave him finger guns, "And that's why you guys are my best buds."

Then he quickly left towards the set and I smiled fondly as Nino caressed the discs and the equipment.

And so we dance, our bodies boppin with the rhythm that Nino created.

Two songs passed, when suddenly I heard the smooth transition of an electro swing song, 'Lost In The Rhythm' by Jamie Berry ft. Octavia Rose.

I grinned as I started doing a swaggerier version of the Charleston, Adrien following right next to me.

At one point, we united our hands as we danced, our movements in sync. It surprised me how effortlessly it went.

When the song finished, we heard clapping and some cheering. I jumped in surprise when I noticed that we were surrounded by our schoolmates. And I blushed when I realized that Adrien had literally swept me off my feet, carrying me in his arms.

"Give my buds some love!" Nino said through the microphone, "I knew those two would pull off some wicked dance moves!"

They cheered and soon Nino put on his regular DJ jams and everyone else started to dance.

Adrien carefully put me down and led me away towards the punch bowl.

He wordlessly served us and we clicked glasses.

"That was fun," I broke the silence.

"Very," Adrien agreed as his hand went to reach mine, but he stopped himself and returned it back to his cup. "So… how was your appointment?"

"It went well," I answered softly. "I'm starting the medication tomorrow."

His eyes shot up and he started to choke on his drink.

Quickly I patted and rubbed his back while taking away his cup.

He calmed down and cleared his throat, "Is that so?"

I nodded and gave him a wry smile, "Are you hungry? I saw some snacks you might like."

"I would like that," He smiled sheepishly.

And so I left him.

Should have known that he was left vulnerable.

I had just arrived at the other end of the room where the food was when suddenly a slow dance started to play.

Immediately, I turned around, trying to locate Adrien.

My heart started to speed up when I saw Alya pushing Marinette towards him.

Naturally, Marinette tripped and bumped into him.

I was trying to make my way towards them as I saw Marinette blushing like crazy as her lips moved.

"Jolene?" I heard Nathaniel say from my right.

I saw him twisting his hands and avoiding eye contact with me.

"Yeah?" I asked him.

"You want to dance… with me?" He squeaked the last part.

I smiled fondly and outstretched my hand. "Sounds like fun," I answered.

Nathaniel smiled as he grabbed mine and took me to the dance floor.

He placed his hands on my waist and I rested mine on his shoulders. I could feel Nathaniel's good vibes as we danced, making me almost forget about my boyfriend dancing with his stalker.

Nathaniel turned me around, just in time to witness Alya moving their hands from the proper waltz position to the more… casual slow dance everyone else was doing.

Marinette was blushing like crazy.

Adrien, though, I was worried as he didn't make a move to offer to return to their previous hand positions.

He continued to dance with Marinette like that, but I noticed how he tensed up when Marinette wrapped her hands closer around his neck and rested her head against his chest.

It's just one song.

When it's over, Adrien will pull away and look for me.

That's my mantra to stop from pulling Marinette from her pigtails and drag her away from my boyfriend.

So instead, I took deep breaths and concentrated on Nathaniel's calmness, hoping to give me the patience that I needed.

But we didn't get to finish the song as suddenly, Chloé made a scene with her butler.

The butler was holding a cute yellow teddy bear, called Mr. Cuddly, and reminding Chloé how to act nice.

I thought it was rude to laugh when Kim pointed out that Chloé has a teddy bear. Personally, I don't think it's shameful to have one, or whatever plushie or action figure, you still have from your childhood, whatever the age.

I didn't laugh at Chloé, even if most of the party goers were.

Effectively, Chloé's outburst ruined the mood and Nino quickly returned to the DJ stand and put on something more lively.

It gave me some relief that Adrien didn't waste time to pull Marinette away.

"I feel a little tired," I lied as I placed a hand over my forehead. "It's been a long day for me."

"Oh, yeah, sure," Nathaniel says with a small frown. "Are you feeling okay?"

I nodded, "Just tired. I'm going to retire early."

"Do you want me to take you home?" He asks.

"I'll be fine, thank you though," I said earnestly. "Enjoy the party for me, yeah?"

Nathaniel nodded and I quietly made my exit.

I texted Adrien where I was heading and specifically told him to stay at the party for me.

He called me just as I was out of the hotel.

"Let me take you home," He says.

"It's fine, really," I told him. "Enjoy the party and confirm to yourself that Chloé really wants to change for the better. She's trying really hard."

Adrien sighs, "There's no point arguing with you, is there?"

"You got that right," I said wryly. "I'll text you when I arrive home, okay?"

"You better," He states. "Stay safe."

"I will," I answered softly and I turned around, hoping no one was around, "I love you."

"Me too," He said fondly and I hung up. I don't want to compromise him to say it out loud, considering anyone could eavesdrop on him.

I arrived at my apartment, just in time as the sun was almost completely set.

I texted Adrien, but I was surprised he didn't answer me back.

I didn't think much of it, probably couldn't hear it because of the party. So I made preparations to go to bed.

I couldn't sleep without knowing Adrien seeing my text, so I waited for a couple of hours.

I was in my bed, writing down ideas for a video when I heard tapping on my window.

I closed my notebook and opened my curtains, revealing a certain Cat.

Quietly, I let him in and closed the curtains behind him.

"Glad to see you here, little lady," He smiles.

I simply placed my hands on my hips and raised an eyebrow, "Was it too much to text back?"

Cat chuckled nervously, "Sorry, there was an Akuma at the party. Chloé's butler got Akumatized."

"…It doesn't surprise me," I sighed tiredly as I sat down on my bed and offered him to sit down next to me.

Cat didn't say anything for a while, so I decided to be direct about what bothered me today.

But Cat beat me to it, "I didn't want to dance with Marinette."

I opened my mouth, closed it, before rubbing my hand behind my neck, "Was it that obvious that it made me jealous?"

Cat only gave me a sly smile as he pulled me over his lap, "Only to me. Don't worry, when the time is right, we will no longer be a secret anymore."

I caressed his cheek before kissing him tenderly.

"I trust you," I started. "I know I shouldn't be jealous, but it still makes my blood boil with envy when Marinette tries to hit on you."

Cat laughed and instead hugged me tightly against his chest.

"You're so cute when you get fired up," He coos into my ear. "If I were a peacock, it would make me spread my tail feathers every time I see my little lady fighting for me."

"That's rather poetic for you," I laughed.

"Only for you," He retorts as he rubs his nose against mine. "You know that all my attention and affection belongs to you."

"Just like my heart and soul belongs to you," I say softly.

Cat clears his throat, "And since we are being honest… I didn't like seeing you dancing with Nathaniel."

"You're right," I smiled wryly as I watched Cat's pout and narrowed eyes. "It's cute seeing you riled up."

"Hey, that's my line," He continued pouting, but all was forgiven as our lips touched each other. Our hands exploring our bodies.

Cat's hands in particular finding out that I wasn't wearing a bra.

The hour Cat spent in my room, made our privates drip with our juices, but we still didn't actually land on third base.

But we still found our sweet release in the comforts of second base, with our clothes still on.

"Sweet dreams, my love," Cat purrs into my ear as he leaves me a sweaty mess on my bed. He nipped my ear, before kissing me deeply one last time, his teeth gently pulling my lower lip before separating. "I'll close the window, don't you worry."

"Sweet dreams, mi cielo," I smiled softly. "See you tomorrow."

He nodded and left, doing as he promised.

It didn't take long for sleep to take over.

AN: Is this enough spice? JkJk.

I'm just getting started...

Anyways, thanks a bunch to Momochan77, starrat, gwencarson126, and Alepxa Batista for reviewing~! It means a lot to me.

And thank you to PrimeGirl1915, Gfriend99, keliawb, BisexualKoala, BottleBox, AngelMaree, and trashygirly1 for following/favorited this story. I'll never get tired of how amazing you guys are.