As Ally had acted excited about dinner with the Kinslows, Jack at least did not seem to pick up on the tension like Ally had. Nathan was thankful for that at least. Though Elizabeth seemed surprised by the sudden change of plans, she said nothing. Instead, she helped Jack get ready going along with the change of plans.
"Can I ride Apollo, Uncle Gabe?" Jack asked running out of the house.
"Of course you can," Gabriel replied easily, picking up the little boy who had ran to him. Nathan watched as Gabriel settled the boy on the horse before turning to Ally. "Do you want to ride with him?"
Ally shook her head. "I feel like walking. Let Vincent ride with Jack," she said.
"Are you sure?" Vincent asked Ally. Even Nathan could tell the boy was anxious to ride the horse but he wasn't about to insist to it over Ally. Someone had done a good job with teaching the boy some manners.
Ally nodded. "You probably have had fewer chances to ride a horse than I do. Beth lets me ride Sargent quite often."
Vincent did not bother arguing any further. With Gabriel's help, who was standing next to Apollo making sure Jack did not fall, Vincent mounted the horse behind the younger boy. Nathan could not tell which boy was happier.
"You two enjoy dinner with Uncle Gabe and Aunt Faith," Nathan told his children. "And be good," he added.
"We will," Jack and Ally replied together.
Now that Vincent had a hold of Jack, Gabriel turned to face Nathan. "They'll be fine. I will drop them off about seven?" Gabriel inquired.
Nathan nodded in reply. Stepping closer, Gabriel gave him a brotherly hug, taking Nathan by surprise. However, as he embraced him, Gabriel spoke quietly in his ear. "It will be all right," his friend assured him. "I will ask Bill to stop by with something for dinner for you and Elizabeth about five so neither of you have to worry about making something to eat."
"I appreciate it," Nathan told him as Gabriel released him.
Nathan stood at the foot of the porch stairs as he watched Gabriel and the kids walk down the lane to the road into Hope Valley. Gabriel led Apollo while Ally walked at his side. Only when the group had reached the road did Nathan look away and up at his house. Standing outside was not going to accomplish anything.
Trying to act casual, Nathan headed inside. Movement of the front window's curtain as he started up the steps told him that Elizabeth had been looking out the window. He had a feeling that there wasn't going to be any easing into breaking the news.
As he walked through the front door, Nathan came face to face with Elizabeth. The concerned expression on her face told him that like Ally, Elizabeth knew that something was going on.
"Why is Gabriel taking the children for dinner?" Elizabeth asked, a slight tremble in her voice.
"Gabriel brought some news that you might find troubling, Elizabeth," Nathan told her, closing the door behind him. "We thought it best if you were able to process it without the children being around."
While speaking, Nathan had closed the distance between them. Reaching out now, he took Elizabeth's hands in his own. "It is regarding Lucas," Nathan told her deciding that there was no breaking this news gently. Just getting it out quickly would be for the best.
The color drained from Elizabeth's face.
"Did he get parole?" Elizabeth asked, her voice trembling.
"No," Nathan replied quickly, glad that at least that was a fear he could quickly put to rest. "Parole is not going to be an issue."
Though the fear was still there, Elizabeth's look became quizzical.
"Let's sit down," Nathan suggested nodding toward the settee. He still held her hands as she had not pulled away from him, but he did not try to lead her toward the piece of furniture quite yet.
Elizabeth nodded at the suggestion. At that gesture, Nathan let go of one of her hands, while keeping a hold of the other. Tentatively, he put his now free arm around her shoulders as he started leading her toward the settee. Reaching it, he guided Elizabeth to a seat on one end of it and then sat down next to her. Though he still held her one hand, Nathan kept a little bit of room between them, out of respect for Elizabeth. The mention of Lucas had clearly upset her in some way. She had not rejected his physical presence as of yet but he did not want to make her feel crowded in anyway.
Nathan's concerned seemed to be unfounded though, because as soon as he was seated, Elizabeth was scooting over so that she was closer to him.
"Promise me that you are not going anywhere, Nathan?" Elizabeth asked in a small voice. She tilted her head up to look into his eyes and Nathan saw the tears filling her eyes. "I can't lose you. I could not survive that."
One arm wrapped around her shoulders, Nathan pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. "I gave you a vow, Elizabeth. I meant it with my whole heart. For better or worse I am at your side."
Elizabeth gave a little sigh even as she wrapped her arms around his torso and rested her head on his chest.
"Just hold me for a bit before you say anything else, please?" Elizabeth requested quietly.
"Whatever you want," Nathan assured her as he wrapped his other arm around her. He would keep the news to himself if she asked, though he did not think that would be for the best. He couldn't help but feel that getting through the emotional fallout of this news was the final hurdle that he and Elizabeth needed to get over for the sake of their own relationship.
But this needed to be done in her timing.
They sat quietly for a little while. Nathan rested his chin on the top of her head, catching a whiff of cinnamon from her. He wondered if it was from making his coffee that morning or something else. Without thinking about it, he started making a circular motion on her back wanting to offer her comfort.
Nathan held her quietly, willing to let Elizabeth tell him when she was ready. Eventually, Elizabeth lifted her head and sat up. She stayed closed to him though and sought out one of his hands. Grasping her hand, Nathan looked at her, trying to get as much information from her expression and body language as he could so that he could act and react appropriately. He could see a bit of that steely strength creeping into her eyes like he had seen on occasions when she confronted people about something she felt strongly about - like his comment about Lucas following the haunted cabin incident or when he had confronted her about going after Emily in the windstorm. What had Bill said about Elizabeth once? That she was tougher than she looked?
Nathan was glad to see some of that toughness coming into play now. It would serve her well.
"All right," Elizabeth said, her voice steady now. "I think I am ready to hear whatever you have to say."
"All right," Nathan said, one arm still around her shoulders, with the fingers of their other hand intertwined. In the most sensitive way he could, Nathan relayed the information that Gabriel had given him, not sure how Elizabeth would react. Then again, his reaction had surprised him, a little, as well.
"Would he have suffered?" Elizabeth asked, her voice and devoid of emotion.
Memories of a run in with a gang of stage coach thieves came back to him. He had been with two other Mounties at the time, which turned out to be a good thing as one of the three gang members had gotten behind him and looped a rope around his throat. He could still remember the struggle to breathe as he tried to remember what had been taught in training about self defense. That training had helped him enough until one of his fellow Mounties had shot the guy.
Lucas would have gone through something similar for a longer period. Where as he had been able to move the man behind him, Nathan knew that the bars between the two cells would not have given. Unless he could have pulled the sheet away, Lucas would have gotten no relief until unconsciousness had claimed him. Having arrested Amos Dixon, Nathan knew the man had been no weakling and he would have had the advantage.
"Yes," Nathan replied, not about to lie to Elizabeth. "Until he lost consciousness, he would have been struggling to breathe. It could have been a matter of seconds or longer depending on the pressure applied."
"Good," Elizabeth replied. "After what he did to me, did to Jack, he did not deserve death to claim him quickly or quietly."
Nathan was momentarily surprised by the response. Elizabeth had always shown such compassion for others, even when they had made mistakes. Her reaction to this news told Nathan just how much she had suffered.
"You must think I am a horrible person for thinking like that," Elizabeth said, a bit of a plea entering her voice.
"He hurt you, Elizabeth. Physically and emotionally. I think your reaction is completely human," Nathan told her. "I am a bit relieved at the news myself, knowing that I never have to worry about him hurting you or Jack again."
"Jack," Elizabeth said a bit alarmed. Nathan wondered what was going through his wife's mind but he was not left wondering for long. "He has had nightmares of Lucas coming back and hurting him. Do I tell him that Lucas is dead and can't hurt him any longer or don't say anything? Jack hasn't had a nightmare since we were in Brookfield. Do we risk the nightmares beginning again by telling him?"
The use of the 'we' in the last question told Nathan that Elizabeth was not shutting him out in this decision even if she had used I in the first question.
"I think we need to tell him, Elizabeth," Nathan replied, looking into her eyes. "Perhaps not the how, but Jack should be told that he is dead. We help him understand that concept as best we can and we deal with the emotional fallout, just like we have to deal with our emotional reaction to the news. This will not stay quiet. A death of an inmate in custody will make the news and eventually reach Hope Valley. I would rather tell Jack now rather than risk him overhearing it from someone else."
"Are you going to tell, Ally?"
Nathan gave a sad smile. His girl already knew something was up. He had a feeling if she cornered Gabriel alone she would already know what was going on by the time she got home.
"I am not keeping this from her. She already knows something is going on. I learned my lesson with the situation with my father. If I had been more open about why I didn't want her to see him instead of just telling her she could not seem him then perhaps she would not have gotten mad and run away. Thankfully, it was only to your house but that situation made me realize that 'because I said so' is not always the best answer for a child. So yes, if she has not gotten the information from Gabriel by the time he brings her home, I will tell her."
"Will Gabriel tell her? Will he tell Jack?" Elizabeth asked.
"I told Gabriel to try not to say anything to them. I would rather the news come from one of us, but I also told him not to lie to either of them. I think even Jack will be better off with the truth than being lied to. I trust Gabriel's judgement in this Elizabeth."
Elizabeth nodded and moved to get to her feet. Nathan did not try to keep her from moving from the settee. He did keep a close eye on her, trying to discern what she needed from him. If she needed some space, he would give it to her but he also didn't want her collapsing from the emotional turmoil and getting hurt.
As she headed toward the window, Elizabeth seemed steady. Reaching the window, she pushed the sheer fabric aside so she could look out the front window with an unhindered view. As Elizabeth's back was toward him, Nathan could not see her face but he remained where he was giving her some space and time to process. For now, he would sit quietly, letting her speak when she chose to.
Nathan's patience was soon rewarded.
"When Lucas first came to town, I told Abigail that I had met charmers' like Lucas before. I told her that the flower soon withers on the vine. Yet, I still let myself fall for his charms. I thought I could protect my heart from being hurt again, by going with the superficial. Lucas could provide the lifestyle I had grown up with. Jack and I would be provided for and my heart would not be shattered by the news that my husband was not coming home," Elizabeth said quietly, as she continued to look out the window. "I should have listened to myself. Once he had won me, Lucas no longer had to rely on those charms. I ran from what was in my heart in an attempt to protect my heart, to a future that was worse than those fears. A future that did not even leave me with pleasant memories to cherish like I had with Jack."
"That life is behind you, Elizabeth," Nathan told her, resisting the urge to just go to her and hold her. He wasn't sure that was what she wanted.
"But I could have avoided it altogether," Elizabeth countered. "In trying to protect my heart, I hurt Jack, Bill, Rosemary, Lee, Allie, you and so many others. And all for nothing," she lamented finally turning from the window. "It was not you I was trying to run from, Nathan. It was the uniform and the reminder of what it was I had loss. I was afraid to risk my heart breaking like that again and in trying to protect it I went to someone who simply stomped on my heart in an attempt to break me, for his own ego."
Nathan did get to his feet now, but he didn't rush to her. Instead, he walked slowly, looking for signs of Elizabeth retreating from him.
"Fear makes us do things we would not usually do. It blinds us. But that can be all behind you now," Nathan told her. "We can truly embrace the future with no worry about that past coming back to haunt us."
"Are you sure that you still want to be with me? Even knowing that I spurned the genuine love you offered for something superficial? You put forth yourself and I pushed it aside for candles and charm."
"I don't care about that, Elizabeth," Nathan told her, holding out his hands, palm up to her. Without hesitation, Elizabeth placed her hands in his. "I have loved you all along. I will continue to love you. The past does not matter. What we have now is important. Instead of lamenting over the past, let's live for the future."
"That future looks much brighter than the darkness I was living in."
"I will do all I can to keep it bright," Nathan promised her, giving her hands a gentle tug toward him.
Elizabeth stepped forward willingly. Letting go of each other's hands, they wrapped their arms around one another. With her head resting on his chest, Nathan could not ignore how natural it felt to have her in his arms, just like she had that autumn day of the O'Rourke prisoner transfer when she had embraced him on the street. If he could go back, he would have held on tighter then. He would have pushed harder in an attempt to help her face the fear she had revealed that day. The fear of losing another man she loved. No, she had yet to actually say the words, but Nathan no longer had any doubt. Elizabeth loved him. She had loved him all along but had been afraid to embrace that love.
Today was not the day for those feelings to be voiced. There were too many other emotions for both of them to wade through. It would happen soon, though. Of that, Nathan was sure.
"Do you mind if we take a walk to Jack's land?" Elizabeth asked though she did not move from her position nestled against him.
Nathan's heart pounded at her use of we. He had no doubt she could hear it, as one side of her head rested against his chest. Elizabeth had not said anything about her late husband's land since they were married. Nor had she ventured far from the house alone in those early days of their marriage. Curious, Nathan had asked Bill about the land, wondering if Lucas had somehow managed to get control of the land and did something with it. Bill had confided in him that Elizabeth had asked him to transfer the land into her father's name before she had married Lucas. William Thatcher had in turn added it to the trust fund he had set up for Jack Junior. Since she had started riding Sargent again, Nathan had wondered if Elizabeth had ventured to the land but she had not volunteered information about her rides and he had not asked. Now, she was inviting him to join her visiting the land that had been special enough that even before she had realized the truth about Lucas, she had protected the land from him.
"Not at all," Nathan assured her. "I will just leave a note for Bill in case he stops by while we are out. Gabriel was going to ask him to stop by with dinner for us."
Elizabeth lifted her head and looked up at him. "It is nice to have friends to look out for you. The fact that a relationship with Lucas took me away from those friends should have been a warning sign."
"Sometimes we only see the warning signs after we have already wandered into the danger," Nathan told her as he looked into the eyes, which still sparkled with unshed tears. Tilting his head down, Nathan pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Let me fill a couple of canteens with water for our outing," he told her.
Elizabeth smiled. "Prepared for anything," she teased gently. "You can take the Mountie out of the uniform but the training is still part of the man."
Nathan chuckled at the playful but truthful comment. "I cannot deny that," he told her. "I'll be ready to go shortly," he told her, taking a step back.
"I will take care of the note for Bill," Elizabeth told him.
Nathan nodded. As Elizabeth moved for the desk and a piece of paper, Nathan headed toward the cupboard where the canteens were stored to get water for their trek.
Ally found it strange to be back in the room that use to be hers when she and her Dad had lived in this row house. Before this, she had only been in the downstairs and that had not bothered her, mostly because the first floors of all the houses were the same. Visiting her friends had gotten Ally use to seeing the familiar surroundings of the first floor only decorated differently over the years she had lived in Hope Valley. Her bedroom though had always felt uniquely hers.
Now, here she was back in it but nothing felt familiar. Vincent's furniture was in a different arrangement. A quilt in brown and yellow was on the bed. Different, and fewer books, were on the bookshelf. Two framed pictures were on his desk - one of Miss Lillian, Miss Grace and Eleanor on the porch of the Orphanage and the other of Uncle Gabe and Aunt Faith on their wedding day. Vincent's mom and dad now.
Ally sat on the floor of the room with Vincent and Jack. Vincent's dominos were spread out on the floor in front of them. They had attempted to play a game but even with help, Jack was having difficulty with it. The fact that he was still learning to count was part of the issue. Instead of continuing the game, Vincent was currently placing the rectangular wooden pieces in an upright position in a line. When he got about a dozen standing up, Vincent gave one of the dominos on one end a little tap, sending it into the next one. All twelve of the tiny wooden blocks fell down in a wave causing Jack to clap his hands and giggle.
"Can you do it again?" the little boy asked looking up at Vincent.
Vincent smiled. "How about we set up all the dominos and knock them down."
Jack nodded excitedly. Ally smiled, glad that her little brother was having a good time at the Kinslows without any worry that something was wrong. She envied him that.
Little brother?
The term made her pause. It was easy to think of Jack as her brother. They were step brother and sister after all. However, if she claimed Jack as her brother then shouldn't claiming Beth, as her mother, be easy?
Ally stifled the sigh that threatened, worried it might tip Jack off that something was wrong. Dad was right. Life was messy and hard at times.
"Are you going to help, Ally?" Jack asked, looking from the domino he had carefully place up to his sister.
Ally shook her head. "You and Vincent can put them up. Three people trying to set them up might just get in each others way. In fact, perhaps I will go see if Uncle Gabe needs help with dinner," she commented, trying to sound casual.
Glancing at Vincent, she found him gazing back at her. She had a feeling that he knew it wasn't just helping with dinner she was interested in.
"Go ahead," Vincent told her. "Jack and I will let you know when we are done so you can watch. Right, Jack?"
"Go help Uncle Gabe. We got this," was Jack's response.
Satisfied that her leaving the room would not bother Jack any, Ally got carefully to her feet, so not to disturb the dominos already standing on end.
"You boys have fun," Ally told them as she walked toward the door.
Outside the room that use to be hers, the house became just another row house that another family lived in. Ally wasn't sure why the changes in the room bothered her but not the rest of the house but she pushed it aside. It wasn't important. What was important was if she could get Uncle Gabe to open up to her about what was going on.
Gabriel was at the counter when she came down the steps. He wasn't currently dicing potatoes. Taking in the other vegetables, flour, pie pan and the smell of chicken in the air, Ally knew what her uncle was making. He glanced up from his task as she approached.
"Do you need help with the chicken pot pie?" Ally asked as she approached.
"I will never turn down your help, Honey," Gabriel replied. "Carrots still need peeled and diced or you can shell the peas."
"I will shell the peas," Ally said. "I have always enjoyed doing it," she said as she washed her hands in the sink. "Maybe because it was one of the first things, Dad would let me help him with, in the kitchen."
"The very first thing you did in the kitchen was provide the music," Gabriel commented, a grin coming to his face.
"What?" Ally asked, drying her hands before grabbing the bowl of peas and an empty bowl and moving to work next to Gabriel.
"I remember your Dad writing to me that he wasn't sure what to do because you wanted to help in the kitchen. His comment was something along the lines that he didn't know what he was doing in the kitchen yet, so how could he teach you anything or keep you safe. He wrote that he gave you a few pots, two wooden spoons and let you bang away. He said it caused a headache but at least you were happy."
Ally chuckled. "Poor Dad. I know I have been frustrated with him at times growing up, but he always did try his best." She paused for a moment. "He still does. He gives his all to all three of us," she commented as she shelled the peas. "What has him troubled today, Uncle Gabe? Can you tell me?"
Next to her, Gabriel sighed. "Where is Jack?"
"Jack and Vincent are setting up dominos to knock down," Ally said. "They should be occupied for a bit."
"Al right," Gabriel said. "I think your Dad wanted to tell the both of you, though he wanted Elizabeth's input on what exactly they tell Jack."
"Will Dad be mad at you if you tell me?" Ally asked, tentatively.
Putting down the knife, Gabriel reached out and put a hand around her shoulders. "Your Dad told me not to lie to you if you asked questions, so no, he will not be upset. However, I would rather your Dad, or his mother, be the ones to tell Jack, so if I tell you, do you think you can try to stay upbeat around your brother."
"I will try," Ally told him.
"That is all I can ask," Gabriel told her. He did not return to chopping the potato, wanting instead to give Ally his attention. "I got word today about an incident that occurred at the jail in Union City. Lucas Bouchard was killed. That is the news that your Dad needs to break to Elizabeth today."
"But now she doesn't need to worry about what he might do when he got out of jail."
Gabriel nodded. "There is that, but this is also going to stir up a lot of emotions for Elizabeth. Possibly for Jack too."
"Is she going to hurt my Dad's feelings again by pushing him away?" Ally asked.
"I think that their relationship has grown strong enough that she will accept his support in this," Gabriel told her. "But, if Elizabeth does do some pushing away, we all need to push back. Make her see she isn't alone in this. Your Dad has you and me as well. Like your Dad said, Everything will be all right. I promise."
Ally nodded.
"I know it is horrible that Mr. Bouchard is dead, but what he did wasn't right. I am glad Beth and Jack will be safe now."
"Me too," Gabriel told her, giving her shoulders another squeeze. "Now, how about we go back to this pot pie so we all have something to eat."
Ally nodded her consent. As Gabriel went back to the potatoes Ally asked him if he could tell her some of the places he and Aunt Faith had seen on their honeymoon. Glad that the conversation had gone to a safe topic, Gabriel happily answered her questions.