Happy New Year, everyone.
Chapter 59: Crossroads
As the morning grew old, Fox moved around the house. His mind centred upon a clock ticking on the kitchen wall as he worked through small tasks. A cup of tea sat fresh and hot atop his desk. His eyes skimmed notes scrawled upon several sheets of paper. A tome he borrowed from the city's library laid open on a page of interest. With every minute, Fox prepared himself mentally before his radio rang.
Shortly after the eleventh hour, the machine signalled an incoming call with sharp, sudden beeps. Fox set his papers aside and switched on the microphone. "Fox McCloud, speaking."
"Good morning, Fox," the male voice on the other end spoke with a nasally Eulethran accent. "It's Perry Dundee calling. How're you going down there?"
An easy smile overtook Fox's face as he recognised the freelance journalist who regularly kept the outside world updated about him. "Doing great, Perry."
"Glad to hear, mate. Now, I'm here with your mum, Doctor Vixy Reinard, who's representing the Lylat Planetological Society, and Professor Lion Dali from the Novellonian Institute of Extra-terrestrial Research."
"Hi Mom. Hi Professor."
"Hello, darling," Vixy replied sweetly.
"Good morning," Professor Dali said in a more serious, baritone voice.
"So, Fox," Dundee took over. "It's been about a month since those spirits went wild in Kezamat. How's the city recovering so far?"
Fox was glad for the lack of video feed as his jaw clenched on reflex. To avoid worrying the public, the Balvenish governments covered up the Aparoid invasion as the work of a local force. All the Aparoids' corpses had been collected and concealed, and any mention that they had roamed Cerinia was kept secret; at least until the military were certain there were no more swarms hiding around the solar system.
He didn't like shifting blame onto the spirits who came to their aid, but Andross, General Pepper, and the Novellonian Space Force all agreed that it was necessary. To those who heard the rumours, the Aparoids were effectively the galaxy's bogeymen. The last thing people needed was to find out that those bogeymen were real and lurking somewhere in their neighbourhood. That, and the fact that Andross was alive and well in Kezamat.
"We're getting better, Perry," Fox answered. "There's still nothing we can do to bring back the people who we lost, but we're making good progress on rebuilding. Morale's improved, and it doesn't look like there's going to be any more trouble anytime soon." Despite their scouts' best efforts, they never found a single trace of where the Aparoids had come from. Nor did they determine whether there were any more still active. Most believed that the threat had been completely wiped out during the invasion.
"That's great news, Fox," Dundee said cheerfully. "Now, I understand that you and the Cerinians have asked for dust shipments from the planet's outer atmosphere. Risky stuff, I might say. Could you please shed some light on what that's about?"
Fox kept his pause brief while he pondered his response. "I can't say I know all the ins and outs. What I do know is that the arethanite will help us prevent another disaster like the one we just had from happening again."
Thankfully, Vixy came to his aid. "Mister Dundee, perhaps we could discuss this further when we're not imposing on so many people's time?"
"I agree," Dali grunted. "Although I'm interested as well, I have another appointment shortly after this meeting."
"Alright then! Majority rules," Dundee replied, never shedding his enthusiasm. "Let's move on with our agenda, shall we? So, Fox… Just to recap: Last time, your mate, Krystal, gave us the history of Kezamat's Lythan Jad and how they became one of the city's most influential factions. I understand that she couldn't be with us today, but you were going to tell us about how the Jad interacts with similar groups in other regions. What have you got for us?"
"Thanks, Perry," Fox smiled, finally relaxing. "Yes. Krystal's work keeps her busy. But she did help me scrounge up enough info to give you the gist of it."
It had been over a year since steady communication had formed between Kezamat and the outer worlds. In that time, Fox volunteered his time to help his mother and the scientific community understand life on Cerinia through regular podcasts. Of course, his efforts would be rewarded in cash, which he could collect after his rescue. However, the work became a bit more interesting than he first expected. From Cerinian politics to how the natives grew their crops, Fox studied new topics every fortnight that expanded his own views of the world he lived in. Occasionally, he'd also translate for guest speakers with decades of knowledge in their crafts. It fascinated Fox to learn how much Cerinians relied on magic and how much they used their skills or wits instead.
Over the next hour, Fox relayed how the lythan profession evolved from a need to establish peace between rival regions and nature. Frequent skirmishes over territory often resulted in spirits turning on all sides, saving the tarnished landscape by wiping out those who slaughtered and burned senselessly. Groups such as the Lythan Jad formed in every major city to protect their innocent populaces from the spirits' wrath. Over the generations, the lythans' role in everyday matters changed to include local politics, and each group began to specialise in different crafts. Kezamat's Jad pursued the study of healing, which now benefited from Andross's more modern teachings. This in turn resulted in many lythans from other cities travelling afar to learn the Jad's methods, which they would exchange for their own knowledge.
"Crikey," Dundee exclaimed, as he often would. "Amazing. I love these talks, Fox. It feels like reading into the deep lore in a fantasy game, but in real life. Urgh! I wish I could go over there and see it for myself."
"Nothing stopping you, Perry," Fox said. "Just know that if you do come here, you might never leave."
"Ah. Tempting. But I love technology too much." Laughter carried over from the other side of the line. "Travel to and from Cerinia really is a drag, isn't it? I suppose Krystal is something special, wanting to fly out with you."
Fox's smile fell. "I'm sorry?"
"Oh? Just saying Krystal must really love you if she's willing to leave her home for you. I mean, with the dust layer and all, it'd be pretty tough for her to ever go back."
Like a switch, the realisation flipped in Fox's brain. "I… I… uh…"
"Mister Dundee, we're running short on time," Professor Dali interrupted. "If we've concluded our business, I need to be on my way."
"Of course, Lion. Take care of yourself and enjoy your day."
Fox's thoughts raced in a flurry. They scattered and billowed so wildly that he hardly heard Dundee's voice again. "Huh…? Sorry? What was that?"
"I'm just asking how excited you and Krystal both are about leaving Cerinia. I know that the rocket is still a long way off, but I…"
Dundee trailed off for a moment. "Hang on… Sorry, Fox, but I've got a call coming in. I better take this. We'll end things early today and talk more later. Sorry again. See ya."
Fox briefly heard a distant "Hello" before silence fell over the comm channel. It made his thoughts too loud all of a sudden. Krystal… Fox clasped his hands over his muzzle as his blood ran cold and his body began to tremble. Oh, god… Krystal…
"Fox…? Fox!"
He jolted. "Huh?! What?!"
"Are you okay?" Vixy asked. "You sounded bothered near the end there."
"I… I…" Fox licked his lips. He swallowed. He wanted to reassure her that everything was fine, but he couldn't get the words out.
"Darling… Talk to me. What's wrong?"
The trembling grew worse. Fox tried to speak, but his throat tightened. Taking deep breaths, he somehow managed to say the one thing he could. "Am I making Krystal leave her whole life behind?"
Vixy heard his voice crack. "Oh, sweetheart…"
"Why the hell didn't I think about it? Of course, Krystal is going to have to leave everything behind!" Fox hung his head in his hand. "I'm so stupid! It's not like she's going to be able to visit home whenever she wants to. If she does, she'd have to freefall from orbit, and it'd be a one-way trip! What if she tries and gets hurt?!"
"Fox. It's okay."
"How?! How is it okay?!" Fox erupted. Tears burned in his eyes. "If Krystal comes with me, she's going to need to say goodbye to all her family; her friends; everyone she grew up with here! Forever! And what for? I'd be getting back everything I've lost while making her throw it all away! Why didn't I think about this sooner?"
No, he did think about it. The idea had been floating in the back of Fox's head for a while. He simply ignored it, passing it off as a problem for later down the pipeline when it actually mattered. What a stupid idiot he'd been until now.
"Fox… Krystal would have known this. She's an intelligent young woman. She'd have thought about what leaving her planet would mean for her and made her own choice."
"And that makes it alright?!" Fox challenged. "Mom, I don't need to imagine how Krystal would feel because I know what it's like to lose my friends and family. It hurts, Mom! It really hurts! And nothing I found here was ever enough to fill that hole inside me. I don't want that for Krystal."
A sob threatened to break from him. Fox choked it down with furious might. "I never should have made her fall in love with me."
"Fox McCloud, you take that back right this second!" Vixy snapped. The fierce anger in her tone shocked Fox out of his skin. "Don't you ever say you wish Krystal didn't love you, because you have no right!"
"Mom… I…" Fox stammered.
"You listen to me very carefully, young man," Vixy growled. "When you love someone as much as Krystal loves you, you're willing to walk through hell and flame to be by their side, no matter the cost. That is a rare gift that many people don't get the chance to appreciate. So, don't you dare disrespect the bond that you two share like you did just now. It's selfish. It's horrible. And it's insulting to Krystal's feelings."
In that moment, Fox felt as small as a kit again. Every single one of his mother's words pummelled him where they'd hurt most. The places he'd overlooked whilst fretting over other points of pain. He crumpled over them, hanging his head in shame. "I'm sorry, Mom."
"That's better," Vixy sighed. "Now… Let's slow down a bit and think about this calmly. Have you and Krystal ever talked about this before?"
"To some extent. We've talked about what we'd do after we get back to Lylat, but nothing about whether Krystal might want to go home after."
"Then you need to have that conversation with her. You need to confirm that Krystal understands what's in store for her and that she accepts it. The sooner, the better."
Fox pondered the advice. He knew that his mother was right, but still… "What if Krystal ends up regretting it later?"
"Then ask her about that as well," Vixy counselled.
The what-ifs continued to pile up unabated. They pulled at Fox's heart in all directions, daring to tear him apart. "If things don't work out for us, she'd be stuck away from home, all alone," he whimpered.
"Do you really believe that the two of you won't work out? After everything that you've been through together?"
With Vixy's question put so bluntly, Fox realised how silly he sounded. He and Krystal had been together for years. They were close. Sworn to each other. The sunburst tattoos on his legs signed that pact into his flesh. It was difficult to imagine anything significant enough to break their sort of bond. Nor did Fox want to.
"No."
"Then don't fret about that," Vixy said. "I know it's scary to let your mate take that kind of risk with their life, but it's a choice that you need to let Krystal make for herself."
"I don't want to hurt her by taking her away from her family."
"You'll hurt her anyway if you leave Krystal behind."
"Better to lose me than her mother and father."
An aggrieved sigh escaped Vixy. "God, you're so much like James it's frustrating."
That remark caught Fox off-guard. "What?"
"I'm sorry about that, Fox. It's just… Your father had a tendency to make snap decisions and run with them, no matter what. It was something that helped him greatly in his work, but it also put a lot of strain on our relationship at home."
Fox knotted his brows. "What do you mean?"
"Don't misunderstand me. I loved your father to the sun and back and still very much do. But James had a bad habit of making big decisions for our family without consulting me first. Moving us all to Corneria for his work was one of them."
At her mention, Fox did recall the weeks before they left Papetoon. He since tried to forget about his parents arguing late into the night when they thought he was asleep in his room. "But we did it anyway, right?"
Vixy made a tired noise. "We made it work. But it meant putting you into a new school far away from your old friends. I also had to jump through hoops to move my job to Corneria as well. And we had to figure out what we were going to do with the house that we had just mortgaged. It was a lot of stress packed into a short amount of time, and we could have avoided most of it if your father had simply talked to me first."
Thinking back to his own experience, Fox became grateful that his biggest troubles had been saying goodbye to all his classmates for what would probably have been forever. Everything was simpler in a child's eyes, it seemed. "I had no idea."
"You have many of James's better traits, Fox," Vixy went on. "Unfortunately, you're also just as rash as he was, and stubborn like a mule too."
"Wow. Thanks."
"You know that I love you, sweetie." Vixy giggled. "And so does Krystal. Which is why you owe it to her to talk about your worries with her and listen to what she has to say. Don't make the mistake of thinking that you alone know what's best for her. I promise you that it won't end well if you do."
Falling silent, Fox bowed his head into his hands. He chewed on his mother's words, rolling them over in his mind, and letting himself feel about what she was telling him. "Alright, Mom. I hear you," he finally said. "I'll talk with Krystal as soon as she gets home."
"That's a good idea. I know it will be hard, Fox; but you and Krystal have the strength to work things out together."
"Thanks, Mom."
"I have some free time if you want to talk some more," Vixy offered.
Fox pondered it briefly. "Thanks. But I reckon I need to think about this on my own before Krystal gets here."
"Very well. Just remember what I told you. And don't forget to heed Krystal's feelings. They matter just as much as yours do."
"I know, Mom. I will. Promise."
"Good. I'll check in with you later then."
"I'd appreciate it."
"Good luck, Fox. I love you."
"Love you too, Mom. Talk to you soon."
"Goodbye, sweetie."
Fox ended the call. Then he sighed and rubbed his palms against his face. His mind was still in turmoil over the whole leaving-Cerinia thing, but now there was a little more direction to the chaos. Nothing more he could do for the moment except sort through it all.
How exactly would Krystal feel about leaving her home world behind? Up until they met, Cerinia had been all in the universe that she knew existed. Fox knew that she was excited to see the worlds beyond hers, but how long would it take before the glamour faded and Krystal became homesick? From that point, she'd miss all the things from her old life, just as he had over the past three years. Thalse and Nomar. Randorn and Sabre. The Lythan Jad and the whole of Kezamat as well. Once she left the planet, Krystal would never see another Cerinian again.
Fox worried about how lonely Krystal would become and how much he'd be able to help her through those feelings. Surely, the satellite that Star Fox put in the atmosphere would still allow them to communicate with any radios left on the surface. If Thalse and Nomar kept one, Fox would try his best to keep Krystal in contact with them. But she'd still never see them face to face. She'd never get to embrace them again. Nor would she ever take comfort in her parents' warm, comforting scents. Krystal would be able to interact with them but no longer be with them. Fox already knew how painful it was to be separated from his family for so long.
When he thought about it, there were only three solutions to the problem. Option one: they could go ahead with their plans unchanged, and Krystal would learn to live a life isolated from her kind. That was the option that Fox worried about the most. Option two: Fox could try to convince Krystal to stay behind while he left Cerinia for good. His mother had already given ample reason for why that was a bad idea. Fox knew it would upset Krystal terribly. And in all honesty, Fox didn't want to think about spending the rest of his life without her either. She was the one person he could not be without.
Option three: they give up on leaving Cerinia altogether. That thought turned Fox's blood cold in an instant. It meant turning his back on his mother and his team, as well as everyone who had worked so hard to try and save him from this planet. Andross would probably be the most pissed about it. However, if push came to shove, he'd probably attempt to finish the rocket and fly it out to space himself.
It'd be like betraying all their hopes, but… It would be the easiest option, Fox considered. He was already on Cerinia. The odds of getting off-world were always going to be slim. Not to mention, Fox had already adjusted to living in Kezamat by now. Pretty well, in fact. Simply staying wouldn't change a single thing.
It… would just mean that he'd never see his mother again. Or Peppy. Or Lucy. Or Slippy. Or Falco. Or any of his other friends from home. He'd never see the gleaming towers of Corneria City, or tread on the dusty yet peaceful plains of Papetoon. He'd never get to fly another starship, or watch TV, or play video games, or see the sun without a screen of sky dust blocking it all day. There'd be so much more that he'd miss out on by staying.
With all that in mind, Fox re-examined all the options. No matter what they went with, either he or Krystal stood to lose something precious. Fox didn't want to give up anything, yet he didn't want to force Krystal to surrender something that she loved instead. Sacrificing their relationship wouldn't be worth it either. So, what should he do?
Fox then understood his mother's wisdom. By rushing blindly towards whatever he thought would be best for Krystal's welfare, he hadn't taken the time to contemplate how much pain he'd have inflicted instead. And now that he had thought about it, as well as the alternatives, Fox realised that he didn't know how to solve this problem on his own. The only right way would be for him to talk to Krystal and ask her what she wanted to do.
Fox only hoped that they could make the right decision.
There were hundreds of other things she'd rather do right now. In fact, she'd prefer to ignore the matter entirely if possible. Unfortunately, leaving it be also meant that the matter would linger in the back of her mind for however long it chose. That would be just as irritating. As Simon once said: treat any unpleasant task like a bandage. Rip it off quickly and be done with it. A painful demonstration with an adhesive strip on her fur gave Thene the message clear as day.
At least Simon came with her today. Thene didn't want to deal with this on her own. He did not once smile or offer encouraging words. She wasn't in the mood for them anyway. The sooner they got this over with, the sooner they could go home. She did, however, appreciate his presence.
They ran out of street to drag their heels along as Thene turned to an old house. It had two stories, plus a roof terrace. No different from any of the neighbouring buildings. Old memories came flooding back to Thene. She wished they wouldn't. Part of her wanted to turn around now. When she didn't move for a long while, Simon's touch upon her hand brought her out from her head.
"Will you be alright?" he asked.
Hardly. Though she wouldn't say so aloud. "Let's just do it already," Thene huffed, breaking away to march through the front door.
An empty living room greeted them. Thene panned her gaze across it. Visions of the past flashed brighter and more insistently. Faint coats of dust began to cluster in corners. Typical scents of home had faded. Everything that was before had now been reduced to memories. Nothing more.
A letter from the palace led to all this. The words within had been short and straight to their point. During the Aparoid Invasion, Thene's parents had both perished. The letter didn't specify whether they fell victim to Aparoidedation or some other cause. All else it said was that their estate now belonged to Thene. Her disownment many years ago hadn't spared her from the hassle of tying up their affairs, it seemed.
Truth be told, Thene felt nothing about the news. She had long since purged those two from her heart, just as completely as her father had driven her out of home in his fury. They made their feelings about her perfectly clear. Why should she feel anything different towards them now that they were gone? What did it matter if she had never seen or spoken with them since?
Simon wandered into Thene's view. His head swivelled to take in their dusty surroundings. "So…" he said casually. "Where would you like to start?"
It took Thene a moment to make her decision. "Let's clear out the larder first. Most of what's inside is probably spoiled by now." Besides, there were no memories to be relived from mere foodstuffs, were there?
Midway through clearing rotten vegetables and moulding bread, Thene's assumption proved false. Her frown twitched as she opened a clay box next to several bags of flour. Inside, she found a batch of brown, spiced biscuits. Just like the ones she used to bake with her mother and grandmother when they were both still alive and she barely stood higher than their waists. Thene quickly emptied the box over a bin at her feet. The biscuits were hard and stale anyway. She proceeded to sweep every other morsel of food into the bin with more reckless vigour. It didn't matter to her if anything was still edible.
As soon as she left the larder barren, Thene found Simon perusing through the living room. He peered particularly at an old family portrait drawn in charcoal. Thene screened his mind. She found him interested in its depiction of her as a kit of eight years. She snarled beneath her breath, willing him to avert his attention elsewhere.
Focused as she was on him, Thene did not detect another presence until they knocked upon the open doorframe behind them. She spun towards the noise. Her hackles dropped at the sight of an elderly vixen crouched over a knobby cane. Greyed fur that once had been violet blended with the muted hue of the woman's robe. A smile quickly brightened across the woman's face.
"Goodness, me. Is that…? Oh, Little Thene! Is that you, darling?" The woman waddled over for a closer look. "Oh, it's been too long since I've last seen you."
Thene took an involuntary step back. "Missus Kalaresse…" She wasn't sure how to respond. Cordiality seemed safest for now. "I see that you're well."
Kalaresse bobbed her head, pleased at least. "As well as old age can make me. How have you been, child?"
How was one supposed to say they've been after they were kicked out of home and only returned after their parents deceased? "Busy," Thene opted. Simon's approach behind her spared her from having to answer in more detail.
"Who is this?" he asked.
Finally, a question with a simple answer. "Simon… This is Kalaresse Orrat," Thene gestured. "She was a close friend of the family."
Simon offered a smile as well as a respectful bow. "Doctor Simon Andross, ma'am. A pleasure to make your acquaintance."
Kalaresse's eyes shone. "Oh! Yes, I've heard of you, sir. You saved my grandson and his mate from that awful epidemic a while back. Thank you so much for that. Thene, you remember the boys, don't you? Kall and Roto?"
She had been actively avoiding remembering that far back. Thene masked her frown. "I do."
Kalaresse then bobbed her head to Simon. "Forgive me if I don't greet you properly, Doctor. My back isn't what it used to be."
"Think nothing of it," Simon smiled. "Where I come from, shaking a person's hand is as good of a greeting." He took hold of the woman's right hand and gently shook it once. "Well met," he said.
"Oh my," Kalaresse beamed. "He's a bit funny to look at, but he's quite a gentleman. You've found yourself a fine mate, Thene."
Simon sniffed at the remark, yet Thene finally smiled genuinely for the first time. "Thank you. I've always found Simon's mind more attractive than his appearance."
"That's not what you've told me before," Simon fumed silently. A male's bruised ego could wait for now.
Like a switch flipping, Kalaresse's expression saddened deeply. "I am so sorry about your mother and father, darling. I know there was some distance between you after that… bit of unpleasantness long ago. But still, I'm always here if you ever need some friendly company."
'Unpleasantness' was certainly one way to describe it. Thene's heart returned to stone. "I'm only here to sort out their affairs. I don't intend to stay."
Kalaresse nodded. "Then if I can lend a hand, I will do what I'm able."
Thene considered the offer. The old vixen was slow and frail, but another set of hands could get them through the work a little bit faster. In any case, Thene did like her fondly once. She couldn't begrudge Kalaresse a few minutes sharing company. "If you wish to."
With the kitchen less like a breeding ground for pathogens, the living room came next. "What would you like to do with all this?" Simon asked, pointing at the various keepsakes decorating the shelves.
Thene gave the room a sweeping glance. It was full of her father's handmade pots and tapestries that her mother wove. None of it held any value to her. "Throw it all out."
"Are you sure, darling?" Kalaresse interjected. She picked up a colourfully painted bowl for holding snacks. "Your parents put their hearts and souls into these. They're as good as heirlooms."
Thene snorted softly. "If you care so much, you can take them. I won't be needing any of it." She turned away from Kalaresse's falling expression.
"If you say so, child…"
To spare the old woman's feelings, they gathered every piece of artwork into the centre of the room. Anything damaged could be sorted and put aside. Thene only gave each item the bare-minimum scrutiny. She reasoned that the more she looked at them, the more she risked thinking about those two.
"Missus Orrat, might I ask you something?" Simon spoke up. "Thene doesn't usually talk about her childhood. What was she like when she was younger?" Thene glowered at the wall. Damn that ape! Sticking his curious nose where it didn't belong!
"Oh, she was always a clever, little thing," Kalaresse laughed. "So inquisitive. Always asked so many questions. Adonia often said that the gods gifted her with a sharp mind."
She then hummed to herself. "I do recall that she was a bit of a loner though. You much preferred your own company over playing with the other kits, didn't you, Thene?"
Thene didn't answer. She remembered how the other children were more interested in playing lythans and hitting each other with sticks than actually studying the lythan's magic. Whilst they chased brightly coloured, flying insects, Thene was more interested in the critters that lurked in the dark, weaving intricate traps to ensnare their prey. When the other children dared each other to follow the river out of Kezamat to find its source, she stood back knowing what was there after venturing on her own long before them. Everyone else her age had seemed stupid and slow in her eyes. Thene went through most of her early life without a single person she acknowledged enough to call a friend.
"That does sound like her," Simon chuckled, breaking through Thene's thoughts. "I was somewhat the same when I was younger. Although, that might have had to do with how most of my peers were much older than I was. I passed through school quite quickly, you see. Naturally, I didn't spend much time around children my own age. It made me a bit of an outcast."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Kalaresse sympathised. "It makes me glad that you and Thene found each other then."
"As am I," Simon said. Thene's ears burned. She tried not to smile as she handled one of her mother's cross-stitches.
"Did you ever get to meet Thene's parents before they passed?" the damned crone opened her mouth to say.
"I'm afraid not. I didn't wish to stir anything. I'm aware that family issues can be… messy." That was an understatement. "What were Thene's mother and father like, if I may ask?"
Kalaresse sighed. "Adonia was such a shy girl. But sweet. She always had a skilled pair of hands. There wasn't a thing she couldn't weave. It was like she could imbue anything she dreamed into her threads. A real eye for detail, she had."
Simon hummed. "I can see from her work that she was quite talented."
"That, more than anything else, was what drew Thene's father to her. Dunner was a fine artist too, but gods strike me down if he wasn't a tad too curt and stubborn. He often used to butt heads with my son, Jebere, over one thing or another. Never gave in if he thought he was right."
"Really? I could hardly imagine."
Thene ground her teeth. She could hear the sarcasm in Simon's voice even if Kalaresse failed to notice. If she turned around and he was smirking at her, she'd punch him in the lower ribs. Damn them both. Thene brushed past them to climb upstairs. If those two wanted to stand around gossiping, they could finish this room without her.
This wasn't the first time she ascended the second storey in an indignant huff. That might have been why habit steered her to her old bedroom. Thene froze at first glance. Everything was exactly where she left it. Even after all these years. She would've expected the room to have been stripped barren, leaving nary a trace that she ever existed.
Cautiously, Thene stepped through the threshold. The floor and furniture were dusty, yet it was still the tidiest room in the house so far. Someone had cleaned it in her absence. Who? Her mother? That was the most likely possibility. But why? Had Adonia expected her daughter to return one day, or was it purely out of sentimentality? Thene had no way to know. Nor did she wish to care.
Still, she did circle the old room. She traced her finger along the spines along the tiny bookshelf. She had bought at least half of the volumes herself through years of running errands for adults. Thene remembered lying awake late at night, reading under the light of crystals until either she fell asleep or got caught by her parents. More often than not, it was the former.
Next, Thene opened the closet. Scented satchels deterred insects from chewing at the clothes that were still folded inside. Thene recognised an old dress that she used to favour. She hadn't grown much since she last wore it. Thene wondered if it'd still fit. Perhaps she would take a few garments back with her.
At the base of the closet, Thene found a wooden box of possessions. Small treasures she had collected as a kit; mostly odd items that captured her interest. Atop it all was a straw doll, whose clothes were stained with dirt that refused to wash out. Thene picked the little fox up. Her one companion on her lonely quests for knowledge. She pressed the doll to her chest for a moment. Thene then returned it to the pile, promising silently to come back before she left.
There was nothing more to see in her room. Thene crossed the hall to her parents' next. She did not want to go in there. However, if they had left any unfinished business, chances were that she'd find some form of record there. Either there or in her father's workshop behind the house, where Thene was even less keen to set foot in.
This time, the room was unkempt. The bedroll hadn't been made, and there were clothes crumpled in the laundry basket to one side. Typical of artists. Messy was the only environment that they found liveable. Thene stepped over clothes that never reached the basket. A small table stood wedged in the corner. Journals and loose papers cluttered its surface. Thene opened one and flipped through to the latest pages.
She stopped. Her brow creased. She held the book open to a news flyer. Its corners were torn where it had been ripped from whichever wall it was originally posted on. "Our Heroes Against the Nuhmryg," it read. Thene skimmed the article, finding her name right beside Simon's. Why was this here? After everything that happened, why was something like this in her parents' bedroom?!
Thene checked the previous pages. She flicked past a few before finding another flyer. It was about the first rocket they launched. Again, Thene's name appeared. She searched further. Arethan's Tear… The sewer system project... The increased harvests yields… All things that she and Simon had worked on together and been praised for. As Thene's confusion grew, she noticed irregular blemishes on the pages. Watermarks or… tears?
"What have you found?"
Thene leapt at the sudden voice behind her. Clutching the book to her chest, she spun to find Kalaresse standing in the doorway. The old vixen took one look at the cover and sighed sadly. "It's a terrible shame. Any parent would be proud of their child's achievements. They should be celebrated together. But in your family's case…"
Looking down upon the book, Thene began to seethe. "They threw me out of home. They were the ones who said they didn't want me. So why in Yul's damned realm would they keep something like this?"
Kalaresse nodded. Her eyes swam. "Sometimes we act in ways we later realise weren't wise. After that day, your mother and father weren't ever the same. Adonia more so. She didn't speak much about you afterwards, but she did show me that book many times. And that was all she'd do. Show me. She'd never say a single word. I don't think she could without breaking."
"That doesn't answer me!" Thene snapped. "What damned purpose does any of this serve? Why would they watch what I've been doing with my life from afar and not simply reach out when they had the chance?"
Shaking her head, Kalaresse's tears fell. "I wish I knew as well, Thene. Your mother couldn't talk about it, and your father refused to. But I felt as though they carried a lot of regret in their hearts. I agree that they should have taken the chance to mend your relationship, but perhaps pride and shame got in the way. I can only guess."
The book shook in her hand, and the blood roared in Thene's ears. She turned away from Kalaresse before her eyes began to burn too fiercely. "Leave me."
"Of course, dear," the old woman said softly. "I'll be downstairs if you need anything."
When she had left, Thene closed the door to bar any further intrusions. She then returned the book to the table. Her eyes glossed over the other documents atop it. She found letters addressed to her. Unfinished. Unsent. Strings of writing ran along the top of each page before abruptly stopping. "I hope you are well…" "I saw you down in the marketplace the other day…" "I've heard you helped build…" Two different handwritings. Dozens of different beginnings. All the same in the end. Blank. Nothing. Incomplete.
Memories flashed unbidden. Old emotions ran with them. The wave of contempt as she was exiled from the Lythan Jad. Her father's rage when he heard the stories. Her mother's heartbreak and disappointment. The aches over her arms and body as her father physically forced her out the front door. The deeper hurt and anger as she curled up all alone in the dark, cold night. The endless whispers, jeers, and suspicions that pounded upon her until her heart hardened into iron. The decision that she needed no one and nothing from them. Until that day she found someone who had the one thing she still wanted and gave her so much more. Yet those two had the gall to change their minds and never say anything; only caring from the shadows without ever letting her hear whatever words they didn't have the guts to say. Words that might have made some shred of difference to her.
"Damn you both," Thene hissed, wiping her eyes. "Why couldn't you just let me hate you in peace?"
She couldn't be here any longer. She needed to get out! Thene tore the bedroom door open and bolted through it. A body obstructed her. She glared hotly at them. Simon's expression fell in reply. Moments passed in silence. Simon then reached for her hand. His touch grounded her to the spot. "Are you okay?" he whispered.
Her body shook. She didn't speak. When Simon pulled her into his arms, she grew tight and ready to explode. Thene bit back the pressure building in her chest. She held back the fire flooding in her eyes. She also clamped down on her telepathy, allowing nothing to get out.
"Thene, love…" Simon said into her ear. "Whatever you're feeling, let it out. Do it now, or it will fester inside you."
He broke her concentration. A sharp gasp broke through her lips. Hot tears escaped her lids. The mental wall she made shattered into pieces. She grabbed Simon tightly as she fought to regain control over it all. Because she was not crying! Certainly not for them! This pain in her chest was not for them! It was just there, manifested on its own for no reason. She just needed Simon to hold her until it went away.
Eventually, whatever poison she held inside could spill no more. "I think we should try this again another day," Simon suggested. Thene didn't argue. It was a good excuse to get out of here.
Later, she waited outside while Simon gave Kalaresse one of the housekeys so that she could claim whatever possessions she wished. All that Thene wanted sat inside a bag that she found lying around. Anything more would slow her and Simon down if they needed to evade the Cornerians after reaching outer space. It was strange, though, how the thought of leaving Cerinia now struck a different chord.
When Simon finally joined her, Thene lifted her head from her knees and stood. Kalaresse saw them off. She embraced Thene and welcomed her to the woman's home anytime she wished. Thene carefully worded her response to avoid making any promises. Then at last, they departed. Silence accompanied them until several streets were already behind them.
"You don't have to go back if it's too painful for you," Simon said. "I can take care of matters instead, if you'd like."
"Thank you. But I can handle it. I just…" She tried to think about what she could say. Nothing believable came to mind.
"It's alright," Simon replied. "You don't need to say anything. But… If you ever want to, know that I'm here."
Thene nodded. She didn't want to right now. Yet it felt reassuring to have that option available from him.
"Have you decided what you'll do with the house?"
"Nothing really," Thene said. "I'll just sell it. The place has nothing but bad memories now."
Simon sighed, disappointed. "I was hoping we could find a proper home to move into. The lab is getting too cramped and noisy."
"If that's what you really want, I can use the money to buy another. Just not that one." Thene pondered a little more. "Although… We wouldn't be staying long with the rate the rocket will be finished."
"Assuming nothing else sets us back before then," Simon agreed. "Of course, then we'll be running as fugitives for a while. It could be years before we can settle down anywhere permanently."
"As long as you're there, that's all the home I need." Thene reached for Simon's hand. He gladly accepted hers, curling his fingers around, and squeezing gently.
Their future was full of unknowns and uncertainties. Safe passage would be an empty promise, and there would be countless enemies lining up to tear them apart. Yet Thene knew that she couldn't stay here. Her family gone. Her memories sour. Her acquaintances few. Simon and his ambitions were all that she had. There was now nothing left to keep her on Cerinia.
That council meeting dragged on for three hours, yet it felt like thirty. It did result in some good outcomes though. Development of arethanite-based weapons was coming along reasonably well, and the council had just agreed to provide free training to any Cerinian with enough magical potential to use them. If they found enough people willing, Kezamat would be better equipped to repel another Aparoid attack. Not that anyone had caught so much of a glimpse of the foul insects since the invasion. Some argued that meant the threat was eliminated and the cost of new arms was now unnecessary. However, it was better to be safe than sorry. That rationale was what won today's discussion.
A headache throbbed behind Krystal's eyes, and she was grateful to finally be walking home. She could then put her feet up and relax. Hopefully, Fox had something wonderful in mind for dinner. Fish felt tempting tonight. Maybe she should have made a request before she left the house that morning.
As she approached their front door, Krystal reached out to Fox's mind out of habit. Her hand froze in front of the doorknob. Something was wrong. Fox's aura felt ill. He didn't seem hurt. Not physically, at least. It could be another one of his depressive spells. It had been so long since the last one though. Speculating behind a closed door wasn't going to help either of them, so Krystal braced herself and walked inside.
"I'm home."
Laid amongst the cushions in the living room, Fox rolled his head towards her. "Oh… Hey."
She sensed him trying to mask his emotions. Definitely a worrying sign. "Is something the matter?" she asked gently.
Fox closed his eyes and sighed. Krystal waited for him to respond. His thoughts were in a flurry. But in spite of her concern, she refrained from prying without giving him the chance to speak. After half a minute, Fox sat up and beckoned. "Could we please talk about something?"
Anxiously, Krystal removed her armour and set it down next to Fox's with her staff. She then joined him on the carpet. She took his hand in hers. "What do you want to talk about?"
He struggled, but Krystal gave Fox time. His ears laid low against his head as he finally met her gaze. "You know how you said you wanted to come with me to the Lylat System?"
"Of course. That hasn't changed." Had something happened with the rocket again? Was there a different problem in their way?
Fox swallowed and took a deep breath. "Would you ever want to come back to Cerinia after that?"
As though a candle had been snuffed out, Krystal realised what had her beloved so dour. "Oh…" she said quietly, just above a whisper. "I… I suppose… It would be nice if we could come back whenever we wanted to. But…"
"But if we do make it out of the dust layer, there won't be an easy way to go back through it," Fox went on. "The only way would be to crash a starship like I did. But Andross won't be around to build another rocket, so there then wouldn't be a way back out again."
Krystal nodded slowly. Her head felt heavy. As did her heart. "That… would make travel difficult."
Fox took another shaken breath. "It's too much of a risk to take. But… If you don't try to come back, you'll never see your family again. And… I don't feel right asking you to give them up for my sake."
A touch of fear bristled inside Krystal. "Fox… What are you trying to say?"
Another hard swallow. She could feel his thoughts jittering inside his head, agitating his heartrate. "If you leave Cerinia, would you be able to live without seeing your parents again? Would you be okay with that?" Fox replied. "I'm asking you because I don't want to force you to."
There laid the problem. Typical Fox. Always worrying about others over his own needs. Krystal would have smiled if her heart wasn't breaking. "I know," she began. "I know that if I go with you, there's no real way back. I know that I'd never see Mama or Papa again. Or Uncle Randorn or Sabre. Or anyone else. I've realised that already."
Krystal squeezed Fox's hand. "It will hurt. It will never not hurt being apart from them. But I can't ask you to stay here and not go home to your own family. And I know that it will hurt much worse if I could never be with you again."
Tears ran down Fox's face. They ran down hers as well. "Krystal…"
"So that's why, even if I can never come back, I still want to go with you and see the home that you miss so terribly."
Yet Fox shook his head. "But you'll be losing so much. What if it's not worth it?"
Krystal smiled. "I'll be losing a lot, yes. But I'd also be gaining so much too. I'd get to see things no one else on Cerinia has. I'd get to do things that I'd never have dreamed of before. And best of all, I'd get to see and do it all with you."
A sob wracked Fox. "I'm sorry for making you do this."
She pulled him tightly into her arms. "You're not making me do anything. I want this."
Fox couldn't hold it in any longer. His tears burst forth, running down his face onto Krystal's shoulder while his chest lurched and hiccupped against hers. She stroked his back and linked with his mind to send soothing thoughts. His pain from years of grief, homesickness, and isolation burned fresh in his heart, and he hated the idea of pushing that burden onto her just so he could get back what he'd lost. Krystal took those feelings and massaged them out. She imprinted her own feelings in their place. She wanted this. This was her choice. And she'd be counting on him to help her through the dark moments that they both knew she'd inevitably face. Just as she had helped him in the past.
"Thank you, Krystal," Fox murmured. "I promise I'll be by your side, no matter what."
"I'll never be alone then," Krystal giggled, wiping away her tears. "I love you, Fox. More than anything else."
He held her tighter. "I love you too." They stayed that way for several minutes before Fox finally let Krystal go. He looked at her for a long pause. "So… What now?"
"What do you mean?"
"There's not a whole lot of time left before we leave the planet. I'm sure Andross will try to finish the rocket within a year at most. Is there anything you want to do before we go?"
Krystal pondered the question. There was indeed a finite amount of time before she'd have to say goodbye to everything and everyone on Cerinia. That time suddenly became a great weight, and Krystal wasn't sure how to bear it. "I… There is one thing I've been wanting to do but never made time for."
"What is it?"
"Some faithful go on a pilgrimage across the continent. There are six temples that serve as the main houses of Meen; Yul; Cerinia; Arethan; Ilis; and Reechea, the Sea Goddess. Each one sits in a different region."
Fox nodded thoughtfully. "Those are all the big shots in the pantheon, right?"
"Correct. Pilgrims travel from one temple to the next to pray at each site. Those who do are said to be blessed with paradise in the afterlife. Mama and I have wanted to go together ever since I was little. But we never actually got around to it. The last few years have been especially busy."
This time around, Fox squeezed Krystal's hand. "Then let's go. We'll take Nomar with us and do the pilgrimage." A thought then struck him. "Um… Wait. She and Thalse can't be far apart with their ehn, can they? So, I guess we need to bring him along too."
"We would," Krystal grinned. "But what about our duties?"
"Screw it. Things have been peaceful lately, and Forn and Randorn can manage without us all for a while. Let's just tell them that we want to take a quick family trip and go. How long would the whole thing take?"
"Usually over a month, I've heard."
Fox lit up in shock but recovered well. "Alright! All the more reason to get it done with early. And then when we're done, we can start whatever you want to do next. We'll do a bucket list."
"A bucket… list...?" Krystal frowned, confused.
"It's basically a list of things you want to do before you… well… kick the bucket. As in 'die.' But in this case, we're doing it all before something else instead. Does that make sense?"
Lylatian cultures come up with the strangest phrases. "That… sounds like a great idea," Krystal decided. She grew excited. "Yes! Let's do it."
"Great!" Fox beamed. However, his expression then turned serious. "There's just one thing that I want to add to the list."
Krystal's ear twitched. "What's that?"
"I want to forge an ehn with you. Or try to, at least," Fox said. "I've looked into it, and I've heard that there's a couple of ceremonies involved. I want to do all of that while we can still celebrate with your family."
This came out of the blue and knocked Krystal's breath away. She hurried to compose herself. "Are you sure?"
"As sure as you are about coming to Lylat with me. I figured that if we're going to commit to spending the rest of our lives together, then I want to go the whole way with you. I want to share my entire mind with you and be able to share yours." Fox then withdrew, scratching behind his head sheepishly. "That is… if that's what you want too."
Tears broke from Krystal anew. "I do." She embraced Fox again. She kissed him on the cheek. "I want to be your ehn mate. And I want to join us here on Cerinia. But… What about your family? They won't get to celebrate with us too."
Fox shrugged. "We can have another ceremony for them later when we see them. They don't need to be around for the actual ehn part. I think it works out that way. We'll marry according to your customs first and then mine later. That way, we get the best of both worlds."
Krystal didn't believe she could smile wider. Her tail ran wildly behind her. "I'd love that. Let's do it that way then."
In Fox's mind, she could feel him finally find peace. His worries had resolutions. Their future had light alongside the darkness. They understood what they had to face and promised to tackle it as one, and their love was that much stronger now for it.
Yes, Krystal knew she'd suffer from leaving everything she knew and loved behind. Yet she also knew that as long as she had Fox by her side, she'd be able to weather that suffering and build towards something just as good beyond it.