4
Little Toy Bikers and a Woman on the Run
Chapter 145 Balloons
Jax's quick check up call on Scarlett turned into taking her for dinner to Miguel's, his favorite Mexican restaurant. There was a little awkwardness once they returned to her motel room.
"Look, Jax, I've had the feeling all night that you want to tell me something. If you want to tell me something, I'll keep your confidence. That's what we do for each other. We keep each other's secrets. If you want to stay tonight, you can, if you want to go to your clubhouse and spend the evening with a crow-eater, enjoy yourself. You just can't go have sex with a crow-eater and then return to sleep with me."
Sex with a crow-eater or an evening with Scarlett. It didn't seem to be much of a choice. He would rather spend the evening and night with Scarlett than have sex with a crow-eater. What the hell was going on with him?
"I'm going out to my bike to get my bag," he said.
Scarlett raised an eyebrow.
"You were really sure of yourself," she said.
"I usually keep a change of clothes in my bike's saddlebags. Sometimes when you're riding you get splashed with muddy water."
"Uh-huh."
Scarlett went into the bathroom and changed into leggings and a bright blue knee length T-shirt. She had also taken off her make-up. Jax had also changed into his sleeping attire—a T-shirt and light weight sweat pants.
Staying in that motel room with Scarlett felt more like home, the place he belonged, than did spending the night in his bedroom. There was just something about being with Scarlett that could even beat out the pleasures of sex—at least for that night. Spending time with her brought him enjoyment. He didn't want to think much beyond that.
Scarlett had shared so much of her past; it made him feel that he could confide in her. She was right; they kept each other's secrets. He told her about Gemma's insistence that he take his name off Bela's birth certificate, how Wilda flushed decoy ashes down the toilet and how he now had to decide what to do with Wendy and Bela's ashes.
Normally, he would expect Gemma to handle the arrangements for Wendy and Bela, but he realized that part of the reason Gemma was so controlling was because he gave her that control.
It was time to grow up and not rely on Gemma to handle things for him. As he and Scarlett talked, he figured out what he wanted to do. There wasn't going to be any kind of service for Wendy or Bela. That's what Wilda wanted and if he arranged for some kind of service the only people who would attend would be Wendy's crank friends.
There was a small bridge at one of Charming's city parks. He would spread the ashes there. Once he'd made the decision, he felt relief.
Scarlett told him that when she was little she thought a balloon could go to Heaven. When she was feeling sadder than usual about her mother's death, her father would get her a balloon. She would write a note, attach the note and let the balloon float up to the sky to her mother.
Slowly and shyly, Scarlett suggested sending some of Wendy's and Bela's ashes attached to balloons with wishes for them. The ashes would scatter all over and they would become part of the world.
Jax thought about that for awhile. It was something that would never have crossed his mind, but the longer he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. It would be a more fulfilling way to say good-bye to Wendy and Bela. He didn't need to include anyone because he was the only one left in Wendy's life who still cared about her.
The next morning, Jax and Scarlett worked together to get everything done. Within an hour, Jax was at the bridge in the park and he spread Wendy's ashes and some of Bela's. It wasn't a very satisfying experience.
He returned to the car for the balloons. Scarlett remained in the car so he could have a private moment. He grabbed the five bright pink balloons and returned to the bridge. There was a small sheer little bag that he had attached to each balloon's string with a mix of Wendy and Bela's ashes. Just before releasing the first balloon he cut holes in the bag so the ashes would fall from the bag.
On the first bag, Scarlett had written the word "happiness". He released the first balloon and watched it climb into the sky until it was lost from view. The second bag had "love" written on it, the third "peace", the fourth "freedom" and the last "forgiveness". As he released the balloons, the anger and bitterness he'd felt towards Wendy was gone. He wanted the best for her and Bela. It was a healing way to say good-bye. It felt right.
Jax returned to the car and climbed in.
"That was really good," Jax said. "I feel like I've made peace with Wendy."
"I'm glad that made you feel better."
Jax had one more stop to make before heading in to TM. He wanted to be alone for this part. He rode to the cemetery where JT was buried. Inside his cut, he had Bela's remaining ashes. He sprinkled them around his father's headstone.
"Look out for her, dad," Jax whispered. "She was almost your granddaughter. Poor little baby never had a chance at life," Jax said, his eyes filling with tears.