A/N...this takes place during the time when Kim was pregnant but nobody knew other than Adam.

My Dragonfly

Liam carefully extracted his blue Nike's from the pile of sneakers that had been heaped into the corner of the living room. He shoved each of his feet inside the correct shoe and began to tie them as he looked over at the other boys as they began to shift and move inside their sleeping bags, their bodies beginning to realize, even after the late night that it was time to rise.

He knew his dad was coming for him earlier than the others. Part of his upcoming punishment for skipping school. He wanted to to be up and ready, as to not call any more attention to himself than he might already receive for the early departure. He had been lucky to be able to attend at all, and if Tyler hadn't been sick, he was certain he would have spent the night in his room, or scrubbing something in the kitchen with a toothbrush. He couldn't imagine what his father had planned for the rest of the day. Most likely errands and cleaning, topped off with a lecture. He knew they would talk about the news his father had dropped the night before last. But like true Halstead men, they had shoved it aside to be dealt with another day, despite the enormity of the subject.

He walked into the kitchen to find Brianna Litvac, Tyler's mother, stacking items on the counter. "Liam, you're up? Do you think you guys might want chocolate chip pancakes?"

"Sure. Sounds great."

"I know you have to leave early so I'll get some started so you can have a couple before your dad gets here." She said as she began to mix ingredients and heat up the griddle. "Oh, shoot, I wanted to get the paper before it has a chance to disappear." She loved getting the Tribune, she would read it cover to cover, her one guilty pleasure. She had begun the habit when Tyler first got sick, passing the time while waiting for appointments, treatments and hospital stays fractured her life and routine. But she found if she left it outside too long it would find its way elsewhere.

"I'll get it. I have my shoes on already," Liam said as he pulled his favorite Army Ranger sweatshirt on over his head.

"You are such a sweet boy. They usually put it near the front gate, or the bush by the gate." She said of the postage stamp sized front area.

Liam made his way outside, stepping out into a cool, cloudy morning, but somehow it still felt fresh and good. He looked at the brick homes all up and down the street. Some attached, some breaking apart for alleys to make a passage way from one street to another. Liam recalled the smile on Tyler's face as he opened the gift that he and his dad had picked out. He had even opened the box to get a better look at it. And his mother had said it would go well with the fast pass tickets he had gotten from Scott for the Tilt windows at the Hancock building.

Jay had promised to take him there to check it out ever since the ride had opened, but had yet to make good on that commitment. It would probably be forever before they got there, even though several of friends had already gone and regaled with him with tales of how cool it was to be so high up, looking so far down, while seemingly suspended in the air. Maybe he could talk Ruzek into taking him. Or Atwater. Probably Adam, he had that man wrapped around his little finger. Kevin was cool too, he had just taken Liam to the Chicago History Museum a couple of months ago. They had a great time as Kevin took great care in answering every question Liam had and didn't rush him or hold him back when they explored the exhibits. He knew the man had been responsible for his younger brother and sister at one time before sending them to Texas. His experience always had shone through when it came to the younger Halstead and Liam loved spending time with him.

Liam had unique relationships with each member of the team. Kim always looked at him with a gentle eye, listened intently to whatever he had to say and always encouraged him. Hailey always took her time with him, and like Kim actually listened to him and didn't brush him aside. He knew he could ask her tough questions and if she didn't want to answer, she would say so instead of lying. Liam also sensed that she was very good for his father, keeping him in line and on track as best as she could. He didn't know the new woman yet, he had only met her once. He did know he missed Antonio and Al. Al always made him feel like everything would be okay, no matter what turmoil was happening around Liam that was upsetting him at the time. Antonio had a gentle guiding way about him that Liam found so comfortable and comforting. He was aware something wasn't right with the detective before he left and he could only hope that one day he might find his way back to the unit.

He still missed Erin. He knew that she and his dad had been more than friends and wasn't sure what happened that made her leave. But Liam knew that it made his dad sad that she left the department and city. He also knew Hank Voight still missed her. Liam figured he was one of the toughest people he ever knew. The man had lost his wife and son, his grandson, and Erin, but still focused on everyone and everything else around him. But, then maybe that's why chose to look forward. Easier to look ahead at distractions than what was behind you and would only cause pain.

Liam knew that the man meant what he said and said what he meant. In fact he actually told Liam those very words. He knew if anything was wrong or if he was in trouble he could reach out to the Sergeant and assistance would come even if it meant paying the price later for a wrongdoing that got him in the situation in the first place. He knew that his dad and Voight had bumped heads before. He had overheard Jay on the phone with Hailey talking about how Sarge had chewed him out. It was the night that Liam had seen his dad in his room taking of his shirt and saw a huge bruise on his chest and stitches on the front and back of his side. The time when Jay assured his son he had simply fallen down the stairs having taken down an offender. But even then Liam had known it was a lie. He had been glad that his dad had been yelled at for being stupid and reckless. Sometimes even adults had to be reminded of the rules.

Liam stretched, holding his arms over his head and standing on his tiptoes. It was something he and his mother used to do when they first woke up. It was part of their morning routine. Stretch time, she would say and they would giggle as they stretched and tiptoed. He didn't think about her as much as he used to. He would ask his father all the time when she was coming back. At first he would say soon, then it turned into he didn't know. Then he decided to quit asking because every time he did, his father looked so sad.

He could barely remember what she looked like. She had had lots of pictures of Liam around the apartment, but none of her. He couldn't remember at all what she sounded like. She had talked differently than the other mothers and they had always said they loved her beautiful accent and asked where she was from. She rarely answered, instead moving the conversation elsewhere.

He missed her, but rarely said as much as his father would react in his soft and quiet way, meaning that he hurt more on the inside. He had a few memories of them together and they always seemed happy, rarely arguing. They seemed comfortable, the rare times that his mother actually seemed relaxed. But then she'd pull away and look tense and scared even though she tried to hide it.

Liam saw the paper sticking out from under the bush and went over and picked it up, brushing a leaf off as he turned to look at the headline, but it was folded up and secured by a rubber band. He looked across the street at a cat running down the sidewalk, gray and petite and scurrying to or from something. The cat was intent on its path until it pulled up and something blocking its path; a leg standing on its thoroughfare. Liam followed the leg upwards and saw it belonged to a woman. She reached for the cat, but it evaded her gentle hand and hurried on its way. She looked across the street and locked eyes with Liam. He felt the paper loosen from his grip and slip from his hand, falling on the sidewalk that led from the apartment to the street. He may have forgotten details, but he hadn't forgotten that the woman looking at him was his mother.

He didn't recall opening the gate, or moving towards the street, but suddenly he was across the street and a man had jumped in front of him. "Hey buddy, you should go back to your house." The accent clearly wasn't local.

"It's not my house," Liam said craning his neck to see around the newcomer. As the man sidestepped to continue to block his view he looked up at him. "You were by my house last week. My dad was talking to you. He said he thought you were a bad guy, but you weren't."

"I'm not. I promise you that I'm not." He said.

"Liam!?" Brianna Litvac yelled from across the street. "What are you doing over there?"

"I'm fine. I know this guy, he works with my dad. I'll be right there." Liam lied.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes," Liam assured, mildly annoyed at the disruption.

"Okay, but two minutes, then come back." She yelled but she didn't immediately go back inside. She stood at her door and watched her charge with this man who managed to smile and wave, going along with his nephews lie.

When the elder Liam turned back around he found his sister staring face to face with her son. "I knew it was you. Dad told me you were dead. He just told me the day before yesterday. I thought he was lying, but he wouldn't do that to me—but I guess he did."

Emma, choked back a sob and grabbed her son and pulled him into a tight embrace. She allowed her tears to fall, soaking into his sweatshirt, holding him as close as she could. "Emma, you have to let him go. We have to go. You said you just wanted to be near him. We have to leave," he said looking back at Brianna who was pulling her cell phone from her pocket.

They had checked out of the hotel and were supposed to drive to O'Hare and wait for their flight. But Emma had threatened to take mass transit or Uber to follow up on Jay's offer as to where their son would be. Liam had agreed to drive as she said she would only sit in the car and watch the street, but Emma found she couldn't follow through on her promise. So close, but just not close enough. She had just wanted to be near him, perhaps catch a glimpse. She hadn't planned on this reunion. She was just walking up and down the block having no idea which home he was inside of, hoping that maybe she could see his blond head through a window. Then it would be straight to the airport. But then this happened and it had to be fate. The gods finally smiling down upon her.

Jay had walked outside to find Adam walking his way. "Hey bro. I brought back that socket set I borrowed last month. Oh, and this Lego set for Liam. It's the Hancock building and even has the tilt-out windows. Cool huh?" He said of the large box that was tucked under his arm.

"Very. But you have to quit spoiling him." Jay warned. "Those kits cost a fortune."

"I don't spoil him," Adam argued.

"New Bears sweatshirt last month, two comic books last week." Jay began to name items off.

"Reading is good for him and he's growing fast. I was actually hoping he'd let me help him put this together."

"Yeah, he'd love that," Jay agreed. "I still need to get him to the that tilt window thing. He had been nagging me about it, but has recently given up." He said realizing that probably wasn't a good thing.

Jay had spent many hours snapping together the little colorful plastic pieces, making monster catchers that would make the Ghostbusters proud, along with vehicles that could perform massive jumps and even fly, along with little villages of houses that Liam would import his green army men inside of in order to protect them. He had also stepped on many of those same pieces in the middle of the night in his bare feet finding that wasn't nearly as much fun.

"I'm about to walk down to his buddy's house and pick him up. Let's put this stuff in the apartment and you can walk with me."

"Yeah I'd like that."

As Jay locked the door behind him, having placed the kit that Adam had brought on the kitchen table Jay's phone rang. Adam walked ahead and opened the door, allowing Jay outside, his focus on his conversation. "Slow down and tell me again. How long ago? I'm on my way." He said as he hung up and shoved his phone in his pocket and breaking into a run. "Come on, that was Tyler's mom, she said Liam had gone out to get the paper for her and was talking to a man she had never seen before. When she asked Liam to come back inside he said it was someone that I worked with. She kept an eye out, but Liam ducked into the alley across the street and when she went to get him a minute later, the man was there but Liam wasn't.

Liam had just grabbed his mother's hand and ran. They went two blocks over, not even feeling the concrete beneath their feet. "We have to stop. We have to go back," Emma said coming to her senses.

"But I just found you. I have so many questions." Liam pleaded.

They had slowed to a walk, the L tracks above them. "I don't have custody of you," or any rights to you, she said silently in her head. "Without your father's permission, this is kidnapping."

"But you're my mom. He won't turn you in."

"Maybe not, but he won't know where you are."

Liam thought back to his sin of skipping school only a couple of days ago and knew that indeed his father would not be okay with this little disappearing act. But this was his mother and she was really here in front of him and he wasn't going to squander this opportunity. As his hands rested in his sweatshirt pocket they found his metro pass. He had stuffed it in there having used it on Thursday. Ellie had sewn a little pocket inside the of the larger one to keep it secure. He looked back at his mother who looked torn and grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the L stop only feet away from them.

"Where's my son!?" Jay screamed as he shoved the adult Liam into the brick wall of the alley. He had his arm at the man's throat and wasn't being gentle. "Where is he? What did you do?"

Adam was standing there, looking around, unsure exactly what was happening. "Dude, I don't know what is going on here, but you might want to take it down a notch." He said as he saw a woman walking across the street in their direction.

"Nothing. I didn't do anything. She was just supposed to look, to watch. You told her where he was. I tried to keep her close, but she wasn't having it. He saw her. They ran off. It wasn't planned, I swear. We don't have a passport or ticket for him, this just happened."

"What is happening?" Adam asked as he pulled Jay back who was fighting him. "Jay, come on man, let go."

Jay finally released the man who began to stroke his tender throat.

"Liam was talking to this man and then went into the alley. I came across the street to get him, but he was already gone, that's when I called you." Brianna stated, her voice shaky.

Jay was all nerves and adrenaline. "It'll be fine. Just go back home. You did fine," Jay instructed hoping she would just retreat. "Adam will walk with you." He said glancing at his co-worker.

Adam nodded but wasn't particularly thrilled with the assignment. He shot his friend a look, trying to convey the fact he would be right back and Jay needed to stay in control in his absence.

Jay boxed Liam in, but then pulled his phone from his pocket and found the tracking app. Unfortunately it showed that the phone was across the street in Tyler's house. "Dammit," he whispered. "Which way did they go?"

"That way," Liam pointed. "About five minutes ago. He came out early and just happened to see her."

Adam returned from his escort duties and looked to Jay for an explanation. "I'll explain on the way." Jay promised.

"On the way where?" Adam asked.

"To track down my son and his mother."

Adam remained quiet, but fell in step with Jay.

"Now this brings back memories," Emma said as she sat down next to the window on the train car. "Do you remember when we would just ride the L and point out our favorite buildings?"

"Maybe," Liam said, not giving a damn about what was outside the window now. "I knew that you would come back. I just knew it. Are you staying? Are you moving back?" He asked anxiously.

Emma smiled and realized as desperately as she wanted to be with her son, that this was a mistake. "I wish I could, I really do. I have missed you so much."

"But then why don't you come back?"

"Because I just can't. I want to, but it's very complicated. Tell me about how you've been."

"Is it because Dad won't let you back?"

"No. Not at all. Your father has nothing to do with it. Now, tell me what grade you are in. Who your friends are."

"I'm in fifth grade. I get mostly A's and B's. Dylan is kind of my best friend, but Dad won't let me play with him anymore because we get into trouble when we're together. But I have lots of other friends. I still play the drums and I pitch on my baseball team. Oh, and I'm still a vegetarian. It took Dad awhile to figure it out, but finally did." After I told him, Liam thought.

"Wow. That's great. Very impressive on all counts. You were just learning how to read and to tie your shoes when I left."

"I hit my first homerun last spring," Liam said excitedly. "It was a real homerun, over the fence and everything. Dad was even there to see it. He took me out for ice cream afterwards as a treat. And Mrs. Harris saw it too."

"Mrs. Harris?"

"Our neighbor. She knows Dad works a lot so she comes to some of my games. I wish you could come. Sometimes," he began, "sometimes I would pretend you were there too, watching me."

"You don't know how much I wish that could," she said realizing that this was a huge error in judgment on her part. Her presence was simply opening up a wound that she wouldn't be able to close. The shadows of what she had left behind, what could have been if she had been able to stay, were now out of the box and she had no way to put them back.

"Where did you go?" Liam asked solemnly.

"I had to go home."

"Ireland? Why?"

"Yes. Something I had to deal with."

"Did you fix it? Can't you come back now?"

"I wish I could, but this problem is a big one and isn't so easy to fix."

"But you're here now, why can't you stay? Stay with me?" Liam pleaded.

"Because sometimes, things aren't that easy. Believe me if I could stay I would."

"Then tell me why you can't." Liam demanded, his eyes tearing up.

"What does your dad do for a job?" She asked trying to distract her son.

"Basically, he gets the bad guys."

"Well, I have some bad guys that want to find me and I can't risk them finding you while they look for me."

"Why? Why do bad guys want to find you? Dad will stop them."

"I know he would try, but this is bigger than your dad could handle. And he shouldn't have to handle it, this is my problem not his, not yours."

"But it is our problem if it affects you."

"But I won't let it, because that is my responsibility. We need to get back. You're father will be looking for you."

"But we're not done talking yet. Why don't you want to talk to me? Be with me?"

"I want to be with you, forever. But Liam, he could arrest me for taking you."

"But you didn't take me, I took you. And he wouldn't do that."

She gently smiled at her son. She didn't really know what Jay might or might not do. Right now his child was missing, and he would have found out she was involved. She imagined his state of mind was a bit tilted right now. He was most likely conjuring up conspiracy theories and believed that everything she had said last night had been a lie. He had given her a gift and she had stomped all over it by stepping from behind the barrier of innocent observer to becoming a player in the middle of the game.

"Let's get off at the next stop and go back. That will still give us some time."

"No!" Liam replied, in the petulant voice that Jay hated.

Emma wasn't sure what to say or do. When he was five she could simply pick him up and remove him from whatever situation was happening, but he wasn't five anymore and that was no longer an option. So she tried a different tack. "You know that man you recognized by the alley, that stepped in-between us?" Liam nodded, still upset at the idea of returning to Tyler's house. "That's my brother, your uncle. And, he is the man I named you after."

"His name is Liam too?"

"It certainly is. And do you know where your middle name came from?"

"Him?"

"No, from your daddy. James is for Jay. You were named after my two favorite men." She said as the train slowed to a stop and she stood up and took Liam's hand in hers and directed him to the door.

"Do you still like him?" Liam asked as he allowed his mother to lead him from the train.

"Jay? Of course I do. I will always like him," she answered, thinking love was a better adjective. "Leaving wasn't very fair to him either and I'm so sorry for doing that to both of you."

"Then don't do it again," Liam implored as they walked down the stairs.

But Emma could only manage a weak smile as they navigated their way across the street to walk back up to the platform and make their return trip.

"Does she have a phone?" Jay demanded to know as he looked at Liam. The three of them stood near the L station that Emma and Liam had ascended not long before. "They probably took the L." Jay said looking at the stairs.

"It's in the car." Liam admitted.

"Fuck!" Jay yelled, beginning to lose it.

"It'll be okay," Adam soothed. "Liam won't leave the city. He won't go anywhere with her."

"You do realize how ridiculous that argument is right now don't you?" Jay asked as they looked up at the train rumbling overhead.

"I meant, more than a local trip. He just reacted to her. I mean come on man, he sees his mother for the first time after five years, of course he's going to want to be with her. Temporarily of course."

Jay was angry and frustrated at how stupid he had been. What the hell made him think it was okay to tell her where Liam was going to be. Of course she had already known where they lived, the elder Liam had proven that last week when had been watching his namesake work in a neighbors yard, but still, he handed Liam to her on a platter and had no right to be surprised that she had snatched him up.

"Was what she told me last night true?" Jay turned and asked Liam.

"Yes. She told me that you came looking for me. It's all true. I swear it." Liam stated.

"She seemed so distraught and I thought, I thought—hell, I don't know what I thought."

"You thought you'd be a decent human being, just like the man she fell in love with," Liam explained.

"If she loved me," Jay began, "if it was love, she would have been honest with me. We could have figured something out."

"There is no figuring this out man. She did what she did, because she loved you and Liam. It can't be changed, it was decided by generations well before us."

"Sins of the father," Adam said quietly.

"Yeah and the grandfather and the uncles." Liam added. "She took what she could into her hands, but she can't fix it, it will never be fixed. The life is too ingrained. She and I, we're the black sheep, failures in their eyes. It took her years to gain our father's trust, for him to believe that she was ready to take her rightful place in the family hierarchy."

"And then she killed him," Jay said quietly.

Adam's eyes grew large. Wondering what the heck was going on and who this mysterious mother was.

"She gave up everything, to save what she loved," Liam replied.

"See this," Emma said pulling her shirt up, showing her abdomen which bore a dragonfly tattoo as they sat down on the next train making their way back to the station.

"Yeah. It's pretty," Liam said.

"It's you," she said. "Dragonflies represent harmonious energies, brightness and joy. Whenever I see it, I think about you, your beautiful smile, your sweet and generous soul. You are my legacy and because of that I have given more to this world than I ever expected to."

"That's cool."

"It helps me when I'm sad—to think of you. Can you see right here, in this part of the wing?" Liam looked closely. "It has your initials, LJH." Liam just gave a weak smile at the deftly hidden initials woven into the lacy wings. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want you to leave me again. There has to be a way to stay. I mean you're here now."

"I know. My heart is breaking at the thought of leaving you again."

"So don't do it or at least tell me why."

She smiled at her son. "There are people who I know that I left behind years ago, they hate that I left them and won't stop looking until they find me."

"They won't find you here."

"They might."

"What will they do if they find you?"

"I'm not sure," she said, even though she was quite sure what their response would be. "But I can't take that risk."

"Did you do something bad?"

"No. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Like a witness?"

"Yeah, like a witness."

"They can put you in witness protection."

"But I still wouldn't be able to see you. And it isn't quite the same thing."

"But my heart hurts when you're gone."

"Oh, sweetheart. My heart aches too. All of the time."

"Why do the bad guys always win?"

"They don't always win. I got you."

"But not for very long."

"Nothing would be for long enough." She said brushing his bangs off his forehead. "You okay?"

"Dad is going to kill me," Liam sighed. "I'm going to be grounded forever."

"So I guess it's good that we're going back then?" Emma asked putting her arm around her son.

"Yeah. I skipped school on Thursday and now this." He said hanging his head.

"Why did you skip school?"

"I don't know. I wanted to explore. to see things, remember things. But I couldn't remember where to go and I ended up in Dad's old neighborhood. So I stayed to check it out. But I didn't know which street he lived on. Uncle Will had told me stories about how they used to ride their bikes all over the neighborhood until dark. Empty lots that they had played in."

"Tell me about your Uncle Will."

"He's cool. He's a doctor, a surgeon."

"Wow, that's special."

"Usually once a month on a Saturday he'll pick me up in the morning and we'll go to a museum or somewhere fun. Then we'll hang out at his place."

"That sounds great."

"It is. Sometimes Dad needs some time," Liam explained. "Plus the people who he works with take me places too. Kevin took me to a museum a couple of months ago. And Adam took me to this pumpkin thing. There were pumpkins everywhere, and at the end of it, we got to touch pumpkin guts," Liam said grinning.

"Ewww, pumpkin guts," Emma said smiling. "I imagine little breaks help your dad so that he has some extra energy so that he can have fun with you. It's hard to be a parent all by yourself."

"You did it."

"Not really. Remember that your dad would come pick you up on weekends."

"Oh yeah."

"Do you have fun with your dad or is he too busy or tired?"

"We have fun. He plays with me. We ride bikes, go to the park. He plays army with me and Lego's and stuff."

"I'm so glad to hear that."

"He has bad dreams though. Sometimes he cries out in his sleep so I get in bed with him so he knows he's safe. I think he believes I'm having a bad dream and that's why I go to his room, but it's not."

"You are a good boy, checking on him."

"I think it was what happened to him in the war. And I think he sees a lot of bad stuff at work too. Sometimes when he comes home his face is funny."

"Funny?"

"Yeah, sad. Like it got all twisted up when he saw something bad and he couldn't fix it before he came home. Usually on those nights he spends a lot of time with me."

"He feels goodness and love when he's with you."

"He's just trying to forget," Liam said as the train screeched to a halt.

Emma blinked thinking she knew exactly how that felt.

Jay was still pacing, trying to decide what he wanted to do. "Okay, Adam, you stay here in case they turn around and come back to this stop. Liam, you and I will walk back and you'll go sit in the car while I'll camp out by Tyler's house. If he's not back in a half hour, I'm calling Voight."

"Who's Voight?" Liam asked.

"A force of nature. How long has he been gone? Maybe I should just call him now. I can't waste anymore time, I can't trust that she isn't heading to Union Station, she can travel a lot of places without him needing a passport."

"She won't. She just got caught up in the moment," Liam assured, his face both fractured and hollow.

"Jay, look," Adam said nodding up the street to where L.J. and Emma were heading their way.

"Thank God," Jay said jogging towards them. He took a knee and scooped Liam up into a hug. "What the hell were you thinking?" He finally asked when they parted. "What the hell were you thinking?" He asked looking at Emma.

"Sorry. It was my fault. I made her go. I always pictured it in my head that one day she would be back and we'd be together and then there she was. I had my metro pass and made her go with me." Liam replied.

"Oh, you made her go."

"I'm sorry Jay. I shouldn't have let him take me away. I didn't plan for it to happen this way."

"Then what was your plan? You wanted him to believe that you were dead—kind of hard to do when you talking to him."

"To see him from a distance. I just wanted to see him from a distance."

"Why don't we head back towards the alley for a bit of privacy," Adam suggested as they were in the way of embarking and disembarking passengers. The commute to Saturday destinations in full swing.

Liam reached out to take his mothers hand, but Jay intercepted him taking it roughly in his own. He set a brisk pace that Liam's little legs pumped double time to keep up with.

"Jay, I know it's been a rough morning, but take a breath," Adam said. But he was just met with a glare as the group continued on.

Emma charged along to stay even with her son. She noticed Jay's grip and pace were much like the one Liam had employed on her, an action that left little time to protest or resist.

After a brisk walk they slowed up at the mouth of the alley where it had all began. "I want to say goodbye. You have to let me say goodbye," Liam begged.

Jay let go of his son who flung himself into his mother's arms. "I don't want you to go. Please don't go. Dad can help you fix what's wrong."

"I know that he would if he could. But this is complicated and so big that one person can't make it go away."

"But the team can."

"The team?"

"The task force Dad and Adam work on. It's the most—um—elite," Liam said remembering the word, "unit in the city."

"Impressive," Emma said as her eyes widened. "But they are needed here in Chicago and this is even bigger than the city. But, the best part is that he is here with you and will take the best care of you and I will think about you all of the time. And remember that we can talk with our heads and hearts."

"But that's not real."

"Oh, but it is, it is very real. I can always feel a tug at my heart when you talk to me."

"You can?" Liam asked as he let go of his mother and wiped his eyes with his forearm.

"Absolutely. I'll always be there, just where you can't see me." Liam looked confused. "Think of me like the stars. Just because it's daytime, doesn't mean that they aren't there."

Liam looked over at his mother for a moment before speaking. "This is Chicago, you can't see the stars at night either, you can't see them at all."

Every adult was caught off guard at what Liam had said and the silence began to stretch. "Well, you go home with your dad and know that you are the most loved little boy ever."

Jay grabbed Liam's hand again and pulled him back so that he was next to him. "No!" Liam yelled out, attempting to pull away from Jay who hung on tight. "Let me go. Let me go Dad."

"Hey kiddo," Adam said coming around and picking Liam up. "How about we head back to your place."

"No!" Liam yelled again, arching and pushing away from Adam.

"We should go," Jay said tersely.

Emma nodded as the trailed down her face. "I'm sorry. I didn't—can I have one last moment?"

Jay looked he wanted to do anything but agree but he nodded to Adam who put Liam down. Despite his words only seconds ago, the boy ran to his mother the two embracing one last time. "You be the best boy for your daddy. And remember that I love you forever and always."

Jay ran his hand over his face, his heart was breaking into pieces but he wasn't sure for who, his son, Emma or himself, or perhaps all three. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet and found what he was looking for and freed it.

Liam nodded his head rubbing against her and then let her go and turned throwing his body into Jay's, reaching up so that Jay lifted him up where he laid his head on his fathers shoulder as he wrapped his legs around the mans waist.

"Jay, I just couldn't stop myself. I just couldn't."

"I understand that feeling, I really do. But this isn't healthy for him," Jay said feeling his son's tears on his neck. He thought back to the time when he said the very same statement to Hailey when he had chased an offender and gotten shot for his troubles. He had been ordered to stand down, he was too emotionally involved, he had put his life at risk, he was a single father for gods sake, but he did it anyway—because he simply couldn't stop himself.

"Be safe. And if things change, we'll always be here," he offered. He looked at her shattered face as her body seemed to crumple. While holding Liam with one arm he reached his hand out to Emma. "Take this, it's this years school picture."

She nodded and looked down at the picture and was still staring at it as he turned and left, walking back down the street towards home. Liam lifted his head and gave a small wave as the distance began to separate them.

Adam helped them into the apartment since Jay's hands were still full with his son. He looked around the apartment as they entered. He saw a stray sock on the couch, a box full of matchbox cars, a knit hat on the floor by the door, a sweatshirt that was hanging over the chair, a remote control car on the floor by the couch, the remote nowhere to be seen, debris of a ten year old boy.

The refrigerator held snapshots, school lunch menus, schedules for drum lessons, a list of necessary items for an upcoming science project. On top of the fridge was a package of paper plates and napkins. There were glasses that had once held chocolate milk on the counter and the trashcan held wrappers and half eaten food. Bananas and apples sat in a bowl on the kitchen table next to the socket set and new box of Lego's that Adam had brought.

He walked over and saw the inside of Liam's bedroom, disheveled generic baseball sheets, with baseball bats, caps and stitched balls printed randomly. Two throw pillows sat shoved up against the wall, one for the Cubs and one for the South Side White Sox, a gift from Jay's father he figured. A royal blue comforter hung half off the bed. The desk had folders, papers and a cup with various pens and pencils. A small bookshelf held quite a few books and a few trophies, drumsticks and a practice pad. The sliding closet door was open revealing a few items on hangers and a cache of Nerf weaponry on the floor. There was a basket of clean clothes in the corner, neatly folded, no doubt left by Ellie. A huge bucket of building bricks was sitting near the desk. In the middle of the floor was a pile that had clearly been dumped from his backpack in preparation for his overnight necessities at Tyler's. It reminded Adam that they had never collected Liam's stuff from Tyler's house prior to returning home.

"Hey, I'll go get Liam's backpack from Tyler's and let his mother know everything is alright," Adam said.

"That'd be great. Thanks," Jay said, still standing just inside the door, seemingly uncertain with what to do next. Liam continued to cling to his father as if he was afraid what might happen if he let go.

Adam departed and was still trying to figure what the hell had just happened. He figured out easily enough that Emma was Jay's ex and Liam's mother, that she was from Ireland, had returned to the Emerald Isle and had apparently killed her father.

He had always thought that Liam looked like Jay, and he did. Looked, often acted like him too. But after seeing the other half that was responsible for the boy, he realized what a blend the boy was. He finally understood the blond hair with strands of strawberry, the startling blue eyes, the hesitant yet determined expression he often wore. It was as if their DNA had been put into a blender and Liam had poured out. But then that's how it went he guessed. Sometimes the child favored one parent more than the other and other times, the strands were shared more evenly. It made him wonder what his child might look like, if he ever got to meet him or her. His emotions swung wildly concerning the topic. He was excited, terrified and then wondered if it would all end in mourning. What was best—for Kim, for him? What was it like for her to make this decision? She would have to start her sacrifices immediately and that was huge for her, for all of them, its just the team didn't know it yet. And they may never be aware of what might have happened. What they had gone through privately. It could drive a person mad.

He knew Jay had his hands full. Liam's schedule, cost, demands, the man often worn out from the job had to throw himself into the ring with an energetic ten year old with an attitude. Working overnights, wondering how his son was sleeping, if he was upset because Jay hadn't made it home, was homework done, and would Jay make it home alive and in one piece. Did he think of his son every time they breached a door or pulled their weapons? What would it be like when Liam was a teenager, pushing the limits in ways only an adolescent can? What would be left of the man when it was all said and done? But clearly it was all worth it. A primal response and protective nature to love ones offspring. He saw it on the job and he saw it today, the mask of concern and fear that Jay had worn just two days ago and again in the previous hour. If his child was gone, then so was every good part of his life. It was huge, it was everything. But was it something he wanted or could handle? Would he rejoice if Kim said she was keeping the baby or would relief flood through him if she said now was not the time?

Adam picked up the backpack and assured Brianna Litvak that all was well, it had just been a misunderstanding. She seemed doubtful of Adam's excuses, but accepted them nonetheless.

Jay just stood and held his son, neither ready to let go. He swore he could feel Liam's heartbeat against his own. He loved this kid more than he could ever allow himself to admit, because if he did, he would be too terrified to move, to do his job, to do much of anything. He couldn't bear the possibility of losing him and he wondered if Liam felt the same for him, he imagined so as he just watched the gut wrenching agony his son had just displayed as he watched his mother walk out of his life once again. How would he react if Jay was lost and Liam had no parents left? What would be left for the boy? Of the boy?

Soundtrack:

Trills Hush

Lindsey Stirling Roundtable Rival

Way Down We Go by Kaleo

Hackensaw boys Sun's work undone

I found love by Amber Run

2 Cello's Now we are Free...