Little House in the City

"So you're grounded," Mandy said as they took their coats off and she bumped up the heat a little bit.

"Yeah." Liam said as he attempted to throw his coat up on the hook, but missed and it crumpled to the floor.

Mandy bent over and picked it up and put in on the hook. Liam hadn't said much on their walk home from the after school program. Ellie was helping a friend so Jay had asked if Mandy could walk him home and watch him until he got home. She enthusiastically took Jay up on the offer. He had told her that Liam was grounded and all the stipulations that came along with it.

"So what'd you do?" She asked as Liam threw his backpack into his room.

"Drugs." Liam replied.

"You did drugs?" She gasped.

"No just bought them."

"Bought them?" Her eyes now widened.

"I didn't buy them, they were given to me so I could sell them."

"Dude."

"No, not like that." Liam said sitting on the couch, putting his face into his hands. "Let me start from the beginning," he said and told her the story about going undercover, starting from where he looked at the report on the computer to where Jay grounded him.

"Wow. Can't say as I blame your dad. That was pretty dangerous."

"Yeah. So now I have no electronics, no TV, or friends."

"Well, I'm your friend."

"You're my babysitter."

"I can't be both?" She asked.

"If you want to be my friend, you can let me watch TV." Liam tried.

"Nope. No can do. Your dad is stealth-like and shows up at any time. I'm not getting busted letting you do anything you aren't supposed to. It's Little House on the Prairie for you."

"Little house on the what?"

"Little House on the Prairie. It was a series of books by Laura Ingalls Wilder. She lived in the 1800's. It was a TV series too. I loved the books when I was your age."

"Oh. I guess they didn't have TV back then."

"No. They had dirt and sticks."

"Great." Liam replied as he rolled his eyes.

"At least you have books and games," she tried.

"Yay," Liam said with mock enthusiasm. "I'm going to do my homework," he said and went to his room.

Later that evening Jay came home to find Liam in his room building some elaborate structure with his Lego bricks. "Hey kiddo," he said as he peeked inside the door.

"Hi Dad."

"How was school?" Jay asked as he pulled off his badge from his waistband.

"Fine. I did my homework already."

"Good. Did you eat dinner?"

"Yes. It's almost 8:00." Liam pointed out.

"What did you have?"

"Grilled cheese and tomato soup."

"That sounds good. How about you help me make that?"

"Okay," Liam said abandoning his project. "Did Mandy go home?"

"Yep, a minute ago." Jay said as he went to his bedroom to put his gun away. "She's probably going to watch you again in a couple of weeks. You get out of school early one day and Ellie is busy."

"What about the after-school program?"

"Canceled so the teachers can use the building for meetings without kids roaming around."

"Okay," Liam sighed.

"So I forgot how to make a grilled cheese sandwich. You better show me how." Jay said acting helpless.

"You know how to do it." But Jay just made a face and shrugged his shoulders. He was trying to connect with Liam in any way that he could, following Dr. Charles' instructions and suggestions. "Two pieces of bread, butter and two slices of cheese," Liam instructed.

Jay got out the needed items. "Now what."

"You butter that piece of bread and I'll butter this one. But just one side. We need the pan too. Mandy washed it, but it should be dry." They both buttered and Liam put his piece in the pan. "Put your cheese slices on the bread."

"I can't, my hands are full of bread and cheese." Jay said acting as if he couldn't proceed without help.

"Fine," Liam huffed, "I'll do it." He took the cheese from his father and arranged the cheese on the bread in the pan and took the other piece of bread from Jay. "Now turn the flame on medium low and flip it in a few minutes."

"Thank you buddy."

"After you eat can we play a game?"

"Sure. Why don't you bring me your homework so I can check it, while we wait on my sandwich."

Liam brought out his work and let Jay ensure that it was all done. Jay tried to figure out if most of it was right, but he was too tired and trusted that Liam had done it correctly. "Looks good."

"I got an A on my essay about moral education."

"Are you in high school?" Jay asked as he flipped his sandwich.

"No," Liam giggled, "fifth grade."

"So what morals did you write about?"

"How you are a police officer and it's important for you to have good morals. That you have to help teach those that don't know how to behave properly in society and if they can't then they go to jail. And how you are teaching me good morals too."

"Am I? Teaching you?"

"Yeah. Sometimes too good."

Jay laughed as he pulled his dinner out of the pan and slid it on a plate. "Go pick a game out while I eat."

Liam went to his closet and pulled out the game Sorry and returned as Jay sat down at the table with his half eaten dinner and a beer. He had grabbed a bag of chips to go along with his sandwich. Not his most nutritious dinner, but it would suffice. "Ah, your favorite." He said looking at the colorful box. "I want to talk to you for a minute before we start playing."

"I was good tonight. I didn't do anything I wasn't supposed to. Mandy took my phone and she did her homework. She didn't even turn on the TV. We went for a walk, but just a couple of blocks. We didn't stop anywhere. She said it would be okay."

"The walk was fine and she said you were good. I'm proud of you. Ellie has said the same thing. I just want to ask you if you understand why I was so upset with you that day?"

Liam fiddled with the box that held the game, staring at it instead of his father. He finally shrugged his shoulders and sat down. "Cause I didn't have permission."

"Yes. That, and the danger involved, which I know you were aware of."

"I thought I was brave," Liam said showing Jay just what he feared, that Liam still thought his actions were acceptable.

"You were brave. But brave in the wrong circumstances."

"You're brave at the wrong time too."

"I am?"

"Yes. Like when you got shot, the first time and the second time. Like when you go undercover."

"But that's part of my job. You know that."

"When I grow up, it's going to be part of my job too."

"Are you going to be a police officer?"

"Maybe. Would you be proud of me?"

"I would be proud of you. But you know what?"

"What?"

"I would be proud of you if you chose to be a chef, or a construction worker or a Zamboni driver. As long as you do the best you can and try as hard as you can and strive to do the right thing—that isn't reckless, I will be proud of you.

"How did you feel when Sergeant's Voight showed you that picture of the dealer who had been shot?" Jay asked.

"Weird. I mean, I had just seen him a few days before and now he's dead. Do you think he was just standing there on the street when it happened?"

"Maybe."

"Do you think he shot at anyone?"

"I don't know. But do you understand why you can't get involved in things you don't understand?"

"I guess."

"You guess?"

"I do. But—"

"But what?"

Liam took a moment before answering. "But I want to help when I can. But—I understand that sometimes I can't. Maybe when I'm bigger." He offered when he noticed Jay's face contort.

"Yes. Definitely then." Jay responded, relieved. But he still had some apprehension that Liam was only telling him what he wanted to hear.

"Am I still grounded?"

"You bet you are. How did you know about that song, you played?"

"F the Police? I heard it somewhere."

"Somewhere? Where?"

"I don't remember."

"Don't lie to me Liam."

"I'm not." Liam tried. But his face betrayed him and Jay could easily see right through him.

"Liam James," Jay warned.

"At the college." He finally admitted.

"What college? Depaul?"

"Yeah. Kendall forgot something once so we took an Uber there and got it."

"And they were playing that song?"

"There was a party going on. Lot's of people. I stayed right with her. She told one kid to turn it off, because my dad was a cop, but he didn't seem to hear her or care. We didn't stay long. She asked me not to tell you. Don't be mad at her. She just needed a book. We got it and left right away."

"I'm not mad. But I don't want to hear that song again or the attitude behind it. It's okay if you disagree with me sometimes, but you cannot react that way. Even if you don't like what I say or how I punish you, you have to accept it."

"Captain Casey says you are free to make your own choices, but you are not free from the consequences of those choices." Liam offered.

"Well Captain Casey is right." Jay said, thinking back to his conversations with Liam when he was very young. "I'm sorry that things didn't go well for us when we got home that day."

"It's okay." Liam replied. "I'm not mad. Consequences. Can we play now?" Liam pushed. He would have agreed or said just about anything to get to his time with his dad.

"Sure we can. Get it set up and I get to be the blue pieces this time." Jay said rubbing his weary eyes as Liam began to pull pieces from the box.