Full Summary: Being reincarnated into the One Piece universe is not what one would expect after death. Especially when the 'character' you've been born into is someone who technically doesn't exist. Were things supposed to remain the same, or were you suppose to change them? Only time will tell, supposedly.
"I am an informant. I know things. Most of them unfortunately not pleasant." - Portgas D. Roux
Warning(s): Slash/Yaoi, Timeline Alterations, Reincarnation.
Main Pairing: Undecided
Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, obviously.
15 years before canon
"You did tell me you have a personal assistant... but what a surprise. I didn't know you both live together." Garp stared at the disguised Roci for a couple of seconds longer than wholly necessary before he entered Roux's cozy base of operations (the Portgas house, basically) located in Baterilla.
"Even I have my secrets, old man." Roux followed him inside, tsk-ing softly when he spotted the unmoving Rocinante growing depressing mushrooms in the living room's corner.
"What does he do? Other than accompany you to seal deals."
"I don't even know. He's my PA but he's useless at everything. No matter how much training I provide him with, he still sets my files - and himself - on fire." He replied with humor as he threw himself onto the sofa, his fedora flying off somewhere as he buried his nose into the cushions.
Black lines immediately covered Rocinante's form at Roux's unkind words. Roux hid an eyeroll. The reason why he was being so gloomy right now was that his request of getting in touch with Law had been firmly rejected. Again.
And that had been two hours ago.
Ever since the taller man became his PA, Roux had learned a lot about him. Mostly the best way to tease the naive cutie (it was his new favorite past time). After having saved Rocinante from an unpleasant demise, the Clumsy Idiot (yes, capitalized) had immediately tried to escape via a rowboat to find Law. Of course, Roux forcefully stopped him and mercilessly used his powerful ace in the hole.
To make it short and sweet; Rocinante was blackmailed into being Roux's PA/servant. The details on the 'hows' were censored because they were that brutal.
"Anyway, what's up? I'm sure you didn't come all this way to comment on my useless PA." He stretched on the sofa and groaned softly when his spine popped in place.
"Buahahaha! Aren't you gonna tell me his name, at least?" Garp laughed as he went to the kitchen and made himself a pot of tea.
Roux didn't even bother to play host, knowing that Garp treated this house like his home away from home.
"Dapple to all, but you can call him Clumsy Idiot or Dame[1]-Roci." His words came out muffled as he continued to simply lay there. He also purposefully ignored the weak protests coming from said Idiot.
"Buahahaha! As harsh as always, brat! Oh ya, the snot of a World Noble finally decided to stop coming to HQ. So you're welcome to come back anytime. Sengoku won't admit it, but he misses your charming company!"
That caused Roux to spring up, his eyes widened in glee. "Seriously?! It has been a whole year! I thought he would never give up. Aa, I miss annoying the hell outta the old bugger."
"Are you in trouble with a Celestial Dragon, Boss?" Clumsy Idiot questioned, his head tilted to the side as he finally moved away from his emo corner, interested in their current convo.
"Haa..." He sighed, "not exactly. The snot-dripping Noble had decided on his own that I would make an excellent... trophy wife, to put it bluntly."
"Wife...? But isn't Boss a man?" Rocinante blinked owlish, his face, which was altered with the help of Roux's contouring skills and false freckles, made him look quite adorable.
Due to Corazon being recognized infamously for being Doflamingo's brother and Rocinante being the adopted son of the Fleet Admiral himself, Roux needed a way to hide this Clumsy Idiot's identity from both the pirate and marine.
He was quite skilled in the art of makeup thanks to having sisters in both lives, so he managed. Besides, Rocinante, even whilst clumsy, was quite good at painting his own face thanks to his experience in being a spy. So demonstrating once was more than enough.
Now Rocinante, or Dapple, looked somewhat similar to Hei from the anime Darker than Black - what with the dyed black hair and black colored contacts. Eyeliners or eye makeup, in general, made him appear too similar to Corazon, so after contemplating for quite some time, Roux ended up with adding shadows and highlights to change the bone structure whilst leaving the droopy eyes alone. The freckles that were added gave Dapple a more distinctive feature.
'Dapple' wore a similar three-piece suit like Roux, but in navy blue. His dress shirt was white, and his tie was light grey. The matching fedora he wore also shadowed most of his features, which helped considerably. If 'Dapple' stood silently and didn't do anything, he appeared to be quite the intimidating bloke.
And just to be extra safe, whenever they went out, Dapple-kun would wear an overly fluffy pink scarf that covered his neck and lower face entirely. And if anyone was wondering, yes, Roux stole that idea from Charlotte Katakuri. Sue him for being unoriginal. Also, it was quite hilarious whenever Rocinante would burn himself whilst he lit a cigarette.
His musings were cut short when Garp made himself comfortable beside Roux on the sofa, a cup of matcha tea in hand.
"Of course he's a man. The Celestial Dragon just didn't care. I'm Garp, by the way - this brat's tou-chan. I'll kill you slowly if you dare make a move on my son. Now, what have you been up to for the past year, brat?"
He didn't bother to say anything about Garp calling him his son (and please, ignore his cheeks' flush. It was from embarrassment rather than shyness. Really). He knew that Garp was frustratingly stubborn at the worst times, and besides, he found Rocinante's expression hilarious. His PA's eyes were constantly flicking from Roux to Garp to try and find any family resemblance. As if enjoying a comedic show, he made himself comfortable and positioned his feet on Garp's lap.
The old man rested his hands on Roux's ankles, not really noticing or caring how intimate their position was.
"Gathering information. Selling information. Create chaos with said information. You know... The usual."
"Did you go to visit Ace?"
"... I had no time."
"Haaah? Like hell you didn't. We'll go tomorrow and introduce your cabin boy too."
Roux gave the Garp a weary smile. That forceful attitude was something he had come to miss dearly after spending time away from the unreasonable old man.
He thought back to a year ago.
His personality had changed quite drastically if he cared to admit. He used to be hesitant in making any and all types of decisions. Thinking too much of the 'what ifs' to truly live properly.
It took rooming with Rocinante 24/7 to finally come to a realization; the plot had already changed (he had been living alone all this while, so he had not noticed. He wished he had earlier. He could have prevented Rouge's dea- no, stop. He shouldn't dwell on the past). The timeline had already splintered as soon as he was born. Being related to Rouge was already a drastic enough alteration. This world wasn't fictional. Everyone's fate was not in the hands of one man (or mangaka).
He wasn't a fictional character. Garp wasn't. Rocinante wasn't. Ace wasn't. (Rouge wasn't). They all have feelings. Their own thought processes. They weren't simply inked on paper.
The future that he knows, the plot, was realistically speaking, depending on the individual's choices and environment. The world was big enough for Roux to sail freely without stepping on waves. Just to confirm this, he had traveled all across the ocean, observing the younger versions of the Strawhat pirate just to prove to himself that saving Rocinante was not considered an error or a lapse in judgment. The world hadn't imploded.
Baby Luffy was still being raised by Makino.
Toddler Zoro was sneaking around a dojo in Shimotsuki Village.
Baby Nami was still an orphan being raised by Bell-mere alongside Nojiko.
Baby Usopp was still raised by his mother whilst his father was sailing with the Red Hair Pirates.
Toddler Sanji was still bullied by his brothers because of his passion for cooking.
Chopper still has a blue nose and had already eaten the Hito Hito no Mi, causing him to be an outcast to his reindeer family.
Child Robin has already experienced the buster call and is on a run from the World Government.
Teenager Cutty Flam was already picked up by the Shipwright Tom and nicknamed 'Franky'.
Brook was still trapped all alone as a skeleton.
Adult Jinbei still hated humans and was still a member of the Sun Pirates.
The weight on Roux's shoulders was lifted considerably after confirming many other facts about many other characters- people (they weren't characters but people). So he didn't need to worry about them. He didn't need to worry about keeping everything as per the plot. Everyone could and should make their own decisions. That included him, of course. He was more relaxed now, simply allowing himself to enjoy his second life. The only reason why he did not visit Ace was due to some leftover nerves. He needed a push. And Garp, as per usual, was happy to provide.
"What about you, old man?" He poked the Vice-Admiral's flank with his toes, causing the older man to swat his ankles.
"Don't you already know?" Garp raised a challenging brow.
At that, Roux chuckled, "I know all your about your paperwork and missions, yes, but I was mainly asking about your movements. Do you still visit the brats?"
"Ace-chan calls me a shitty geezer now." Garp hid his pout behind his cup of matcha tea. Roux, on the other hand, howled in laughter, not at all caring that Garp had turned to glare at him in a way that would make lesser men pee themselves.
"Oi, hahaha, Clumsy Idiot. Go fetch us, pfft, two bowls of fried rice, mph, crackers." He called out to the chain smoker between laughs. Rocinante nodded obediently, his long legs bringing him to the kitchen in no time.
"It's not funny, Roux-brat! And hear this... he wants to be a pirate! A pirate!" The Marine's expression of dismay only made Roux cackle all the more.
"T-that, hahaha! N-not, pfft, a Mari-marine like you? oh my god I can't breathe hahaha!"
"This is serious, Roux! This is your nephew we're talking about! My grandson is going to turn into a stinky, good for nothing, pirate scum!"
"Hur hur hur~ Perhaps he'll join Whitebeard? Maybe he'll even be one of the Division Commanders?! Oh, I wonder what his bounty will be when he grows up~ Should we bet? I say roughly 550,000,000 Beli when he reaches the age of twenty."
"Shitty Roux!" Garp's fist raised, which immediately caused Roux to stop laughing. "Eat this; First of Love, Second edition!"
"Geh!" Roux cupped the heated bump on his forehead, fat tears making a show of wetting his eyes. "What was that for, you shitty geezer?!"
"So it's your fault Ace is calling me a shitty geezer, you shitty brat?! Once more!"
"Stop- itai!"
"Have you learned your lesson yet?!"
Their violent banter was suddenly cut short when they heard a crash coming from the kitchen. It only made Roux groan in despair. With a sigh, he hopped off of the sofa and strode to the kitchen - where Rocinante was. When he saw the Clumsy Idiot on the kitchen floor with his legs raised to the ceiling, he couldn't help but sigh in defeat.
What had he been expecting when he asked Roci to fetch something for him, anyway?
"Please tell me you didn't break anything." he deadpanned.
"Itetetete..." Rocinante moaned as he righted himself. "No... All of my bones are in one piece. Probably."
"Not you, fool. The plates." Roux crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame.
"O-oh. Uh. Yes?"
"Is that an answer or a question?"
"An answer!"
"Haa... Whatever. Go sit with the old man, Rocinante. I'll clean this up."
"No need, Boss! I'm the one who-" the idiot tripped over his own ankles and fell face first onto the edge of the dining table, causing a waterfall of a nosebleed to spurt. "... I'm alright!"
"Just... Go..." He pinched the bridge of his nose as he counted backward from a hundred.
"... S-sorry..." The younger man's shoulder slumped.
Before Rocinante could dejectedly pass by, however, Roux grabbed the taller man and pulled him down so that they were on the same height level.
"At least your nose isn't broken." He murmured as he gingerly prodded and examine the swollen nose. After making sure that Rocinante wasn't hurt anywhere else, he grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and handed it to the ex-Noble. "Take this. It'll help with the swelling... Roci." He tested the nickname whilst watching the man's face for any signs of discomfort.
"Un. Thanks, Boss." Rocinante's ears were red as he avoided Roux's eyes but didn't seem all that bothered by the shortening of his name. Roux made a mental note to refer to Rocinante as Roci from now on.
After dismissing his PA from the kitchen, he shrugged off his blazer and rolled up his sleeves.
"Yosh. Let's get started."
Within minutes, the kitchen was spotless - not a bloodstain or glass shard in sight. He wiped his forehead, hissing slightly when the bump made itself known.
Well, at least Garp held back.
The first time he received the infamous Fist of Love, he had been knocked out cold for the whole day, causing Garp to fret all over him once he woke up. After having reluctantly explained his fragile constitution and hopeless natural resilience, Garp had taken to giving him the second edition of the Fist of Love. Which basically meant only a microscopic amount of Haki that even a six-year-old Luffy would laugh at.
Yes, he was incredibly weak against physical attacks. Thus the reason for his muscles being lithe rather than bulky. He needed to be fast and flexible to dodge and flee at the slightest of dangers.
When he exited the kitchen, it was to Garp proudly spouting off to Roci about his two cute grandsons (and son, though without directly calling him Dragon). It made Roux feel happy to see the two people (adults) in his life getting along quite fantastically. Despite having forced Roci to call him Boss and treating him harshly for the first few months, he grew to care for the younger man (similar to how he cares for a really clumsy dog?).
He made his way over and plopped himself on the sofa in between the two, smirking at Garp's irritated look at having been interrupted. He then turned to Roci and proceeded to tell him all about the stupid things Garp had done around Ace, which prompted the old man to squawk in embarrassment and chase him about the house.
Whilst he grinned cheekily, he taunted the Marine for his slow speed.
He dearly wished that days like these would never come to an end.
"Ouch... Can we take a break now, Boss?" Roci whined from underneath toddler Ace, who was grinning with delight as the boy continued to pull Roci's dark hair, the roots showing a slightly blonde coloring. Roux made a mental note to inform the younger male to dye his hair later on.
He smirked, merely crossing his right leg over the other as he watched his nephew playing rough with the clumsy ex-Marine spy. They were currently in the forest, with him sitting on a huge boulder and the other two just a few meters away. Garp had assigned Roux as Ace's babysitter whilst he visited Luffy, seeing as Dadan was on an 'errand' with her family.
They would later switch since he wanted to see the future rubberman, too.
Oh, and if anyone was wondering why Garp didn't just bring Luffy over, Roux has no idea. When he brought that up, the old man had a serious face on as he said that he has his reasons. So he simply shrugged and accepted it. No need to be nosy, yeah? (though he was insanely curious) The two little boys would end up meeting eventually, anyway.
Besides, he was already providing his nephew with a somewhat decent childhood when compared to canon, always retelling the prank wars he would have with Rouge as a bedtime story.
"Don't be a baby, Dapple-kun. If Ace-kun wants to be a pirate, he needs to be able to defend himself, yes? So we should help him."
"Your and my definition of helping him is different, Boss! You sadist! Demon!"
"Ah, Ace-kun. Aim for the eyes. A pirate's fight is always dirty."
"Gyaa! Pause! Timeout!"
"If all that fails, kick between his legs. That's every man's weak spot."
"Boooooooosssssss!"
13 years before canon
"... Gaaaaaaaarp..." Sengoku growled, causing both Garp and Roux to turn their heads towards the Fleet Admiral.
They were both currently on their breaks, and since Sengoku's office has the best air conditioning (and is spacious), it became their hangout to the two troublemakers years ago.
Now, in their quest to fight off boredom, they were playing poker whilst the big Marine boss did his paperwork. Strip poker, to be more precise, since Sengoku's golden rule was no gambling with Beli... there wasn't really any other option, ya know? Don't judge.
Roux's fedora, overcoat, blazer, tie, and vest have been discarded onto the tiled floor, whilst Garp's coat, blazer, tie, shoes, and socks were thrown... somewhere.
"What?" The old man threw a questioning and discreet look at Roux whilst replying to the Fleet Admiral. Roux himself only shrugged, not knowing why the highest ranking Marine was in a bad mood. They had been quiet, after all.
"This is your son, isn't it?"
A newspaper was thrown to Garp, who caught it effortlessly after putting down his hand cards. Curious, Roux moved closer and read over Garp's shoulder.
... Oh.
The front page of the newspaper had a VERY familiar photo of a man with a tattoo on the left side of his face, grinning 'evily' as the town burned behind him. The article described the things the Revolutionary Army did, including the recent liberating of an island that was under the control of the World Government (coughNoblecough).
Roux took a peek at Sengoku's face, only to glance away with a snicker. Another peek at Garp's face and he had to resist the urge to double his laughter. Their reactions were like heaven and hell. Sengoku looked ready to explode whilst Garp has already burst out into mad cackles. Roux grinned as he threw himself onto the visitor's couch, wishing he had popcorn for what was about to happen.
As predicted; Sengoku flipped his desk, the paperwork flying everywhere, and grasped onto Garp's collar, shaking the Vice-Admiral violently as he snarled.
"What are you laughing about, you fool?! This is serious! Those bastards-, no, those old men,- nono that's wrong- the Gorosei won't accept that a Vice-Admiral has any blood ties to a Revolutionary! The Leader at that!"
Roux covered his mouth, his eyes tearing up at the hilarity of Sengoku's name calling. Those five elders were definitely disliked! The show didn't end there, however.
"What? Is that all you're worried about?" Garp dug his nose, not at all minding that he was being strangled by the Fleet Admiral. "Just don't tell them he's my son."
"You think it's that simple?!"
"Yep." Garp showed a silly grin as he flicked the booger off his pinky.
"You utter fool!" A blood vessel popped and with a deafening roar, Garp was thrown onto the floor. "Fix this!"
"Oi, Red. What's his bounty?" At Garp's nonchalant question, Roux grabbed the newspaper and flipped through, only stopping when he found the bounty page.
"Hmm... Dragon the Revolutionary standing at... 450,000,000 Beli. I estimate that his bounty will be over 2,000,000,000 Beli after a couple of years down the road. I can almost guarantee that he will be known as The World's Most-Dangerous Criminal. My Informant senses are tingling-"
He was cut off from further praises and 'guesswork' when his collar was roughly grabbed by an angry Fleet Admiral and he was bodily thrown onto Garp, knocking all air out of his lungs with an "oomph!".
"Don't sound so proud! You're both banned from taking any more annual leaves!"
"Excuse me?!" "Say that again?!"
10 years before canon
The atmosphere was heavy as Roux and Roci sat face to face on the deck of Roux's small-sized sailing ship (twice as small as the Going Merry). On the wooden flooring in between them was a Log Pose. A shattered one.
Roux's impassive expression twitched as he continued to stare at the useless device whilst Roci's forehead became soaked with sweat.
"Well?" He asked in a monotone. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"
"Please don't throw me overboard, Boss!" Roci dogeza-ed.
Roux pinched the bridge of his nose as he patted the head of the hopeless ex-pirate rather condescendingly. Just great. Their Log Pose was broken. Now what?
"As much as I'm tempted to do just yet, I can't fish you out myself. Bring me the den den mushi. We'll contact Garp and get him to send us another Log Pose by Coo delivery."
"Aye!" Roci saluted clumsily and rushed to the cabin. The younger man had started saying 'aye' after Roux had told him to do and speak things Corazon/Rocinante would never have done. It was, truthfully, quite endearing. Better than any verbal ticks the younger man's many cousins have.
Roux could only shake his head in fondness whilst he swept the broken Log Pose into the bin. Even though he was technically the 'boss', he would rather be the one in charge of cleaning and cooking. Especially when there's broken shards and sharp objects involved. Knowing Roci, the taller man would've hurt himself considerably.
When he heard Roci's footsteps loudly coming closer, he turned to face his PA, ready to take the den den mushi into his hands.
Luck has always been a questionable commodity to Roux.
Before Roci was even near him, the Clumsy Idiot somehow slipped over nothing and sent the den den mushi flying out of his palms.
"Ah...!"
Splash.
... RIP snail.
The two men stared at each other with equally pale faces, the taller looking close to fainting.
Roux decided there and then that he would somehow get Katakuri to join his small but elite(?) team. Or at least get someone who can see a few seconds into the future to prevent shite like this from ever happening again. Or maybe a Merfolk.
"You... You... imbECILE!"
[Due to the explicit violence, the author has decided to remove it entirely. Thank you for your understanding. Teehee~]
Roux was flabbergasted.
It was understandable, of course, given the fact that his ship was currently docked on the island of the legendary HQ of the Revolutionary Army. It had been breadcrumbs of accidences that saw to him being here.
The island, of course, had been coincidentally spotted. Roux was joyful and decided to make a detour to buy a few extra Log Poses, as well as a couple of den den mushis before moving on.
But who knew... As soon as he was within range, he saw the familiar rocky building of the Revolutionary Base of Operations. They truly were both unfortunate and fortunate at the same time.
Roci might've agreed with him if not for his... state right now. The PA was currently indisposed, a twitching pile of limbs due to having been pummeled into a bloodied pulp. Roux truly loved Roci like his own little brother... But at times like this... Let's just say Roux was lucky there was no such thing as child services or domestic abuse hotlines in this world.
It was only after making extra sure that their ship was firmly secured and would not be floating off without them anytime soon did they then proceed to explore. He didn't trust Roci at all after such an unlucky streak.
"Do you know where we are, Boss?" Roci lit a cigarette as they walked, predictably causing his scarf to catch on fire. Roux, without even looking, took out a bottle spray and extinguished said fire.
"I have my suspicions, yes." He answered with a glint in his golden eyes. "Be on your best behavior, Dapple-kun. We're about to greet the Revolutionary Army."
"Aye, Boss! ...eh? R-r-r-revolutionary... army...?" Roci (with his battered face) turned to Roux with snot dribbling out from one of his nostrils, his comical expression of horror clear to see. Roux grinned as he tugged his fedora to shadow his eyes, nodding at the trembling PA. "Uh, Boss? Maybe I should wait back at the ship...?" At Roux's sharp smile, Roci averted his eyes. "Or not."
"Silence and Hide us, Dapple-kun. Let's bug them to hell and back."
"I'd rather we not..." Insert murderous glare from one unamused boss. "Aye, Boss!"
"Good boy. Alright, Dapple-kun. You know the drill. I want each corner explored and no stone unturned! Arm yourself, my dear PA. This is going to be so much fun...!"
Roci nodded, his expression turning serious as he took out a pen and sketchbook.
Roci, as Roux came to realize over the years of living together, was truly talented in the art of drawing complicated 3D structures, especially landscapes and blueprints. They were his specialties. The younger man was practically born to be out and about for reconnaissance purposes.
With practiced movements, the two sneakily went around the rocky terrain, not wanting to trigger any unknown alarms by immediately entering the building just yet. Whilst also making sure that Roci remained close to him to prevent the other from tripping all over the place, he planted bugs in certain hidden locations. Especially throughout the area that looked to be the training grounds. He also made sure that Roci saw where he hid them so that they could be added to that book of his.
Roci, as a whole, was truly a blessing to an Informant like Roux. The Nagi Nagi no Mi came in pretty handy as well. Having all the sounds they make be muted was beyond convenient. Roux was still teaching the younger man about the advantages of such an ability - especially for espionage - but sadly, inherent clumsiness wasn't something easy to get rid of.
"Do you need us to go around again?" Roux asked as the two of them knelt behind a couple of giant size boulders.
Roci shook his head slightly, his scarf fluttering at the movement.
"I've memorized the layout, Boss."
"You're the best, Dapple-kun." He took off the other's fedora and ruffled his hair before turning away, completely missing the reddish hue on Roci's cheeks as the younger man fumbled to tilt his fedora forward, shadowing his features from being seen.
After confirming that nobody was patrolling nearby, they both dashed to the entrance, with Roux holding Roci's forearm tightly in case the latter tripped at a critical moment. It had happened before, and at this stage, Roux would be a fool to trust Roci's uncoordinated limbs.
When they reached the building, they quickly parted and placed their backs on either side of the entrance. Since they didn't really need to keep quiet due to Roci's (seriously handy) power, Roux spoke without a care. He could put his confidence in Roci at this job. The man's control over his DF ability was amazing (thanks to the years of acting as a mute).
"Make sure to inform me if you get tired, Dapple-kun. And only move when I say so. We can't make any mistakes since we're up against the Revolutionary Army."
"Aye, Boss."
Roux peeked through the open doors, his fedora tilted back to prevent his vision from being blocked. When he saw that the coast was clear, he proceeded inside.
The pathway was then split into two, which made him narrow his eyes in concentration. He picked up many signs of life mainly coming from the right side, so he peered slightly around the corner to check.
"Come. Move left. Avoid right for now. There's a huge gathering."
The moment Roci was next to him, he held the clumsy PA's by his right forearm and continued walking. They proceeded like this throughout their exploration. With Roux hiding bugs along the way whilst sensing for people at corridors and rooms, and Roci jotting down everything he sees.
The building was kind of like a maze, and if not for Roci, Roux would've already been lost. Perfect memory was useless when everything looked identical.
Roux didn't know how long they could keep this up for, but he would try his best without risking their lives.
Day 1
"Five incoming 2'oclock. 30 seconds to arrival." He stated with a frown of concentration, currently using two bobby pins to lockpick the janitor's closet.
"Ahh..." At Roci's 'oops' tone of voice, Roux turned his head slightly to see what was wrong, his nimble fingers not once stopping their activities. His eyes almost popped out from their sockets at the sight of his PA struggling to untie his shoelaces, which had somehow gotten strung together.
At the sound of the closet's lock giving way, he grunted as he bodily picked the former Noble and shoved him inside the closet, not at all caring that Roci had stumbled and fallen to his arse. Without a moment's delay, he leaped in and slammed the door close, just in time too because the five he sensed had just rounded the corner, now currently walking by the closet as they chattered away, oblivious to the two intruders.
He glowered at the man behind of him, a bucket having fallen onto Roci's head. When Roci only laughed sheepishly, Roux couldn't help but pinch the bridge of his nose in exasperation. He knew that his PA would take ages to properly do his own shoelace, so he dropped to his knees, not at all caring at the meep Roci let out when his balls came close to being crushed by one of Roux's knee.
Due to the closet being so cramped, his forehead was resting lightly on the younger man's chest as he bent his head forward to make work of the strings.
"Damn it, Rocinante! Stay still. Stop squirming...!"
"But y-your knee...!"
"Endure it for fuck's sake. There's no more room for me to maneuver!"
"A-aye."
Day 2
"It seems they're not moving any time soon. We'll rest here for a bit." He stated whilst peering out from the air vent, listening to the members of the Revolutionary Army discuss their future training and raids. Useful. He decided to leave a bug here.
"Boss." Roci's voice sounded strained, causing Roux to look at him with one raised brow, inwardly hiding his concern. Since they were inside the vent's shaft, they were both on their stomachs. "I need to go to the toilet."
"... Hold it in." He deadpanned, concern immediately leaving his body in favor of exasperation (again).
Roci's expression changed into a kicked puppy look.
"I've been holding it in since we've docked."
"That was a day ago! Ngh... You're hopeless. Do you remember where the toilets are located? Make sure they're near the vents. We can't really travel far since these guys seem to be having an indoors day."
"F-from where we first entered the vents."
"That's a fucking three-story climb!"
"Aye?"
Day 3
"Eat quickly," Roux grunted as he shoved more food into his mouth, not at all caring about table manners right now, "then make sure to pack away some water as wel-"
"Annhhuugg!"
"How the hell are you choking on pudding?!" He barked as he quickly slapped Roci's back a couple of times. It was only when the other spat out the pudding that he sighed in relief, shoulders sagging forward.
The younger man had tears in his eyes as he wiped the saliva off his lips whilst coughing.
"You know what? I don't want to know. Keep a lookout whilst I get some bottles for us."
"Ay-cough, aye."
Day 4
He was flipping through confidential files and paperwork when he heard Roci's alarmed yelp.
His eyebrows twitched violently as he turned to the Clumsy Idiot, only to do a double take when he saw Roci's scarf on fire. That wasn't what made him panic (it was too common of a sight). The worrying thing was that they were in an enclosed office with a smoke detector on the ceiling directly above the fucking idiot.
With urgency, he tackled the idiot to the ground and pulled out a spray bottle. After extinguishing the fire, he shrugged off his blazer and immediately got to airing the office they were in.
"Did you try to smoke?!" He glared at Roci, who had stood up and was also waving his blazer around to disperse the smoke from reaching the smoke detector.
"The nicotine was speaking to me," Roci replied with bloodshot eyes and trembling fingers.
"... We'll go to the balcony after I finish up here." This damn addict...
"Aye..."
Day 5
Random soldier A: "I haven't seen Kuma-san around lately."
Random soldier B: "Isn't he on a special mission?"
Random soldier C: "Ya shure? Heard Emp Iva-sama asking Inazuma-san 'bout him just yesterday."
Random soldier A: "Right?! Isn't it suspicious that he's suddenly-"
"Boss! Boss Boss! I found something!"
At Roci's excited voice coming from his earpiece, Roux faded back into the shadows and stealthily exited the lounge area via crawling on the ceiling. After confirming that the coast was clear, he dropped onto the floor and dashed into the room next to the lounge, where Roci was.
"What is it?" He asked as he locked the door before turning to face his PA.
"An Eternal Pose!" Roci showed his discovery with a wide grin. It was pointing directly at this location, meaning that with this Pose, the two of them could come back here anytime.
What a treasure!
"Good job, Rocinante! Let's swipe that and leave this place. I'm long overdue for a bath."
As the PA walked forward to hand the Eternal Pose over, he somehow slipped, causing his legs to reach for the high heavens whilst the back of his head landed on the floor.
Crash!
The sound of glass was excruciatingly loud and caused Roux to stiffen up in alarm.
... Right. It was decided. The next location they were going to was fucking Whole Cake Island.
"Roci... Did you drop the soundproof and Hakiproof bubble when you... fell?"
"... I think so." Roci groaned as he rubbed the back of his head.
Random soldier B: "Hey, I think I heard it coming from here."
"Fuck. Have you reapplied the field yet?!" He whispered urgently as he rushed to their exit route - the only open window in the room.
"Aye! Sorry, Boss. My control slipped."
"Forget it. You've done well so far to use your powers without rest. Now, quick. Out out."
"But the Eternal Pose-"
"Is already broken."
"There's a whole drawer full-"
"What?! Where?!" Roux, without even holding back, used Soru to the drawer Roci pointed to. "Out the window. Now!"
Hearing his klutz of a PA doing as he ordered, he narrowed his eyes in concentration and tapped into his Devil Fruit Power. The world around his slowed down - or to be more precise, he sped up.
Without a moment of delay, he slid open the cabinet's drawers and cried out in triumph at the amount of Eternal Pose inside. Without remorse for theft, he took two, closed it, made sure that everything in the room didn't look tempered, and shifted the destroyed Eternal Pose to be situated just right as if the wind had knocked it down from the desk, before following after Roci.
As soon as he was out the window, he released the hold of his power.
Random soldier A: "This room? Isn't this the storage room?"
He heard the door unlock and three sets of footsteps coming in.
Random soldier C: "Tch. Just the wind. You so paranoid, Justin. Let's go back and drink~"
Random soldier B: "... yeah yeah. But I swear I sensed a Voice..."
Random Soldier C: "You must've imagined it."
Roux and Roci looked at each other as they hanged just under the window outside, sweat clinging to their skin as they sighed out in blatant relief.
"I think we've overstayed our welcome here, my dear PA."
"I'm getting tired as well, Boss."
"Hold the bubble until we're back on our ship. Ready?"
"Aye!"
"Let's go."
The minute they were off the island and back at sea, they fell boneless onto the deck's floor, their eyes bloodshot and their foreheads covered with a layer of cold sweat.
"Boss... Can we never do that ever again?" Roci whimpered as he struggled to turn his head to look at Roux.
"I concur." He deadpanned. "... Hey, Roci. Quick question. Did we manage to find a Log Pose or den den mushi from them?"
Roci's hand dug into his pockets for a couple of seconds before he tiredly pulled out a Log Pose, intact and in working condition.
"I saw this on our way out."
"... I could kiss you right now, Rocinante. But I'm too fucking exhausted to move. Just make sure you don't break that one, please. Or we'll have to go back to their HQ to send an S.O.S to Garp." He slurred, too exhausted to care about anything but sleep.
Within seconds, he fell into Morpheus' embrace, Roci following after him not a moment later.
They both deserved it after five whole days of high-pressured espionage and no sleep.
[1] Dame = no good
Dapple = Don Quixote's old donkey.