It was a good few minutes before conversation started, as Gray relished in the embraces from his friends before his attention turned toward the food. A cob of corn was already in his hands before he retrieved a plate.
"I made those for you, by the way," Ann pointed out proudly. The excitement from his reaction to their company and offerings had been too difficult to hide.
"It's good," he replied, his mouth full.
No one was about to call anyone out on improper manners – it had become common knowledge that Gray's appetite had been waning lately, and Ann and Doug in particular had taken to making sure he was actually eating daily.
Ann watched him as she loaded up her own plate, half wondering if she should get the sandwiches she had prepared earlier that day in case they were needed. It had taken a herculean effort to not cover the table in snacks as she was accustomed to, and even if Karen had been opposed to it, Ann still had a plate of cupcakes waiting downstairs "just in case", as she had put it. Claire had been a little hesitant about letting their gathering grow into a full blown party, and while it had felt strange for Ann to keep the celebration simple, she agreed to read the room before getting too exuberant.
She still made sure to pile the platter high with corn, though. In addition to her worry about Gray getting enough to eat, Cliff's appetite was still smaller than usual, and as soon as he had returned to work, he had stopped ordering food from her and her father. This led to the usual odd bread roll or leftover cookie shoved into his hands, ignoring his grumbles, as the ones from his stomach were louder. Ann had meant to talk with Claire about the topic more thoroughly, but it seemed that the happy mood had increased everyone's appetite. Seeing the stack of corn quickly diminish, she was itching to go downstairs and retrieve the sandwiches.
"We also have a whole stash of corn in the freezer just for you to order at any time," Ann reminded him.
"At this rate, we'll go through your stores in a week," Karen replied, grabbing an ear of her own.
"I don't mind!" Ann chirped. "Coming up with new specials for the menu is one of my favorite things!"
"You could do curry bread again… as long as you keep it from being too spicy," Gray suggested.
Cliff's eyes gleamed, and it didn't go unnoticed by Ann.
"I might just do that. It's such hard work, making sure that everyone remembers to eat!" she lamented, her lungs aching a little as she forced herself to laugh loudly.
"Not everyone eats more when they're feeling like crap." Gray shrugged. "Food can be the last thing on my mind."
Ann sighed. In her worry over Cliff and Gray over the course of the winter, she had eaten more than any portions they would have normally partaken in at the inn. "Speaking of food, I was getting worried when I didn't see you downstairs at dinner time. I had half a mind to ask Dad if I could go looking for you."
"I'm a grown adult and can come and go as I please. You worry too much."
Her stomach twisted, as if to agree with him. She folded her arms across her chest. "I know that's practically your catchphrase, but it's hard to stay silent. With everything that's been going on lately… I can't help but worry about everyone!" The feeble smile on her lips was trembling.
Karen threw an arm around her shoulders and leaned over to turn on the record player. It emitted some soft, upbeat music that removed the tension from the room. Ann buried her face in Karen's shoulder, and she was patted on the back soothingly. Pulling away with a calmer face and taking a deep breath, Ann took another piece of corn, settling back down. The friends took seats on the edges of beds and the chairs at the table to eat their food, some swinging their feet to the beat of the music.
Gray spoke between bites, parking himself down beside Cliff. "I wasn't at dinner because I was busy at work. Gramps kept me after because he needed some extra help." He flashed a grin at Claire, his haggard appearance immediately dissolving. "He's got me doing some really basic stuff, but it's still jewelry making!"
"That's great!" Claire cheered.
"I want to see the stuff that you make," Karen replied, interested. Long gone were her days of heckling his skills at the smithy – the homemade spatula had left quite an impression on her.
"It's pretty satisfying to polish the pieces at the end and really make them shine," Gray confessed. "Gramps might be a grouch sometimes, but he does know what he's doing in that forge."
Ann dropped her jaw melodramatically. "Whoa, did I just hear Gray compliment Saibara?"
He knew she was feeling better after that retort. Teasing chuckles from his friends caused Gray to roll his eyes, but he smiled when Karen bumped her shoulder against his. "Well, I wouldn't waste my time taking up a craft from someone who wasn't serious about it."
And someone who took me in when I didn't have many options…
He could still remember those early days, living under the same roof as his grandfather. An image had stuck with him that he associated with the living space – a ring of gray scum around the drain of the bathtub, no doubt acquired from the coal and smoke from the inside of the smithy, piles of dirty clothing on the floor – it hadn't been completely unlike his dorm room.
"You're still asleep?" He had been wakened by Saibara nearly daily in this manner. Work for the forge started much earlier than his academy classes, after all.
A groggy Gray would roll out of bed and rummage through the refrigerator for something to eat. The availability of food was better than when he was living with his father, but still…
"Aw, gramps, why did you have to put that gross container of natto on top of my stuff? Where are the donuts I asked you to pick up from the store?"
Saibara didn't look up from the matcha he was preparing. "You need more fruits and vegetables in you, boy. Much like our furnace, you're going to need to fuel yourself with the right things or you'll burn out too fast. I took the liberty of replacing your donuts with that bowl of mandarin oranges. If you want to eat something sweet, you might as well get some proper nutrition out of it as well."
Gray groaned. "Aw, c'mon… I just wanted a pack of the cheap ones…" Still, he padded over toward the counter and sunk his thumb nail into the top of one of the rinds, smiling in how easily it peeled.
"Were you raised in a barn? Come now, take a seat while you are eating." Saibara deftly shoved a bowl in his direction.
Gray grabbed a couple more and sat down at the table. He could still see his mother peeling the fruits for him, passing him along single slices as they shared in the snack.
"Mom made it look so easy… but I guess it's not that bad once you actually have fingernails." He glanced down at his nails, which had grown beyond stumps he had chewed down during his academy days. The grit and coal from the smithy had discouraged him from biting them and he delighted in their new growth.
Saibara said nothing, but continued his whisking of matcha.
Gray bit into his first segment of orange with a satisfied moan. It was like candy – tangy, juicy, and sweet. They tasted much better than he was imagining the already-stale donuts would.
"Thank you. Really, thanks, Gramps."
Gray snapped back to reality at Karen's interruption.
"You wanna paint them? I brought some nail polish in case we were in the mood. I even have your favorite black in here so you can relive your teenage days." She dug through her bag and produced a bag of bottles.
Gray looked up from his hands. "Goddess, that feels like it was a lifetime ago."
Claire, too, was lost in nostalgia, staring at the various colors. Claire massaged her hands, hoping to relieve some of the tired aches from gripping the pickaxes and hammers in the mine. She applied pressure where she had seen the nail technician do so many times with her mother. She could almost picture the nail salon in the hours of the early evening, sitting in a stiff chair off to the side, playing with the hem of the sleeves of her school uniform, her stomach twisting in hunger.
Her mother was always talking to the nail technician about a subject that didn't interest Claire into eavesdropping on and she would be left to rummage through her school bag, staring blankly at her textbook as she tried to identify the song on the radio.
"It's an investment," her mother would tell her on the ride home, as if to convince herself more than anything else. "It's important for a professional to maintain a high standard, and appearances are important."
Young Claire would always correct her posture at this statement.
"I love spending this one-on-one time with you, Claire," Yvette echoed at the end of these excursions. "It's important for a mother and her daughter to bond."
Claire was always left with a strange numb feeling in her heart that felt empty. Surely it was the hunger that had her feeling that way. However, now she was feeling the same emotions after eating the roasted corn Ann had provided.
She came out of her reverie to see Gray pacing the room and Cliff assisting Karen, lining up bottles of nail polish across the surface of the table. Ann already had cleaned up the dirty plates and she took Claire by the wrist, earning a gasp from her.
"You okay? I didn't mean to scare you."
"Oh, no! I'm fine!" Claire chuckled, brushing off the odd feelings her memories had left her with.
"Hey, let's go downstairs. I got some more goodies in the kitchen."
"I think a little walking around will feel good," Claire admitted.
Ann led her out of the room, and Cliff watched them leave with a small confused frown.
"I can't imagine they'll be long," Karen assured him, examining the colored bottles. "Even with Ann going on a cooking spree, two people carrying stuff should be fine. Are you in the mood for more food, Gray?"
"Not right away, but I'm sure Ann is," he scoffed, but his lips turned up into a smile in spite of himself. He walked over and sat down by Cliff, picking up a bottle of the polish. "You doing yours, too?"
Cliff shrugged. "I guess so. It's been a long time. My sister and her best friend would come over and I'd join them."
Karen gave him a quick appraisal. "If you did something close to your eye color, it would really make them pop."
He wrung his hands shyly, locking onto a dark blue bottle. "Ah… d-do you think…?"
Ann led the way into the kitchen, holding the door for Claire to enter. A heaping plate of sandwiches and a platter with cupcakes sat on the counter. Ann stopped to pick up a half of a sandwich, taking a hearty bite out of it.
"I thought you said there was no cake."
Ann shooed Claire's comment away with the wave of a hand. "Cupcakes and cakes are completely different! Cupcakes are casual and are more like a snack than a big fancy dessert!" Her expression became more serious as she turned toward her friend. "So… change of subject – I know Cliff's sensitive about it," Ann began, chewing and swallowing her food, "so I've tried to give him some space. He never brought it up, though. Is he eating at your house?"
Claire shook her head. "He hasn't been over since he was discharged from the hospital. We haven't really been out much. I've been so busy in the mines, and Cliff said he was resting and recovering. Seeing how tired he was at the hospital made me feel guilty at the thought of waking him up. It's dark by the time I get out of work, and I'm always so exhausted that I've been heading straight to bed. M-maybe I should visit him in the morning? Our schedules haven't been lining up all that well… I hope he hasn't been upset with me."
"Claire, Cliff's not upset. Whenever I see him, he's eager to sing your praises at how much he appreciates you."
Claire smiled in spite of herself, her hand covering the stone pendant around her neck.
Ann huffed a deep sigh, taking an angry bite from the sandwich before folding her arms and chewing thoughtfully for a moment. "I just wish that he'd be more reasonable with me. He's so fussy about accepting any food I try to give him, insisting he doesn't need it. I thought it was because he was having meals with you, but now I can't help but worry about him even more."
"I think he feels guilty taking it," Claire worded carefully. "He might feel like accepting it would take advantage of your kindness."
She earned a frown in response. "They're things that would end up in my snack stash anyway. It's leftover stuff that didn't sell. I've told him that time and time again, but he still refuses."
"I don't think that it's that he doesn't appreciate it, Ann. It's always been important to him that he is able to fend for himself. If he wants to eat at the inn, he'll order something."
Ann stuffed the rest of the sandwich in her mouth. "I wonder if he's afraid of the cost. Did he tell you how big his hospital bill was?"
Claire shook her head, her face going pale. "W-Well, no, but…" She gripped the edge of the counter to maintain her balance as she felt her head swim. "No… he would let me know if he was having trouble. He pinky promised me that he would never leave me…"
She could still feel his arms around her that evening after the grape harvest.
"I won't leave your side, Claire. Ever. I realized you're far too important to me for me to ever do that."
There was a knowing smile on Ann's lips. "A pinky promise, huh? You two must be getting pretty serious, then." She waggled her eyebrows in a similar way that Karen did that always left Claire embarrassed at speaking so openly.
Claire gulped, her heart swelling. Blood rushed back to her face, leaving her a little dizzy. "Well, uh… yeah. We're really close…. Anyway, I know that he really meant it. About not leaving Mineral Town, I mean."
Ann handed the plate of sandwiches to her friend and took the cupcake platter in both hands. "I'm glad that he realized there was someone here worth staying around for."
Claire shook her head, her cheeks hotter still. "There are plenty of us! It's not just me! He has a lot of friends here in town!"
"But there's only one name I can say any hour of the day that will get him to stop in his tracks and whip his head around," Ann chuckled. "He blushes very easily, too. It's kind of sappy but still pretty dang cute. You know how wide those eyes of his can get."
Claire didn't dare to check Ann's expression, but she bit back a goofy grin. "W-Well… What about the new person that Karen and your dad said you had hit it off so well with? What kind of eyes do they have?" She cautiously peeked up from the sandwiches, returning the smirk.
Ann's cheeks went scarlet as her gaze drifted toward the ceiling. "Don't you start saying stupid things, too, Claire. You know Dad and Karen are just a couple of gossip hounds!"
Drawing herself to her full height, she flounced out of the kitchen with an audible "harumph!" that was playful enough to let Claire know it was safe to follow. Claire hurried to catch up when Ann suddenly stopped in the doorway, nearly causing Claire to collide with her. She turned around, biting back a grin.
"His eyes are the prettiest shade of brown," she whispered before hurrying her pace.
"Oh?" Claire nearly had to jog to keep up with her.
"I'm not going to say it again!" Ann huffed, but Claire could hear the smile in her voice. "And you're not going to repeat it either, right?"
Claire laughed nervously. "R-Right!"
Gray looked at the bottles of nail polish, working on a decision. Karen was doting over her cousin, painting his nails. He held still, surprising both of his friends.
"She usually painted them, huh?" Karen asked knowingly. "Your sister, I mean."
Cliff nodded, but didn't say anything in reply.
Karen was tempted to ask him more about his sister – from what Cliff had described of her during their last time together, she sounded like a lot of fun to hang around. She wondered if Ivy was as similar to Ann as she had theorized. However, with the possibility of Ann walking into the room at any moment and it being a sore subject for her, Karen decided to wait until another time to satiate her curiosity. Still, the thought was on her mind. She attempted to redirect it.
"Sometimes I wish I had siblings," she mused, dipping the brush back into the lacquer. "I always thought it would be neat to have a sister. Me and Poppy are pretty close, and there's Ann… How about you, Gray? You ever wish you had siblings?"
He shrugged in response, watching the metallic flecks of cobalt blue on Cliff's nails reflect off of the lights above them. "I think I gave my parents enough trouble. I dunno if the world could handle two of me."
Karen laughed. "Spoken like a true only child. I'm allowed to say that because I'm one, too. I think my parents wouldn't be able to wrangle in two of me, either." She smiled at Cliff, unable to help herself. "Your sister's probably just as sweet as you are, right?"
Cliff snorted with laughter so hard that Karen ended up leaving a streak of blue across one of his fingers. "Hey, are you laughing at my description of her or you?"
His cheeks were rosy as he caught his breath. "Both!"
The door creaked open, revealing their friends with additional food. The Tabster looked up from Cliff's bed and let out a meow in greeting, stretching before curling back into a ball.
"Since the corn went over so well, I thought some more food was in order. On the house!" Ann sang.
Claire set down the sandwiches, and when Ann added the cupcakes to the offerings, Gray's lips curled up into a smirk.
"This is your Dad's cake, right? Not yours?"
Ann unceremoniously peeled the wrapper off of one, taking a huge first bite, dotting the tip of her nose in frosting. "Just for that, I'm not even going to sing happy birthday to you! Of course it's Dad's!"
Gray shrugged, taking a cupcake of his own. "I hate having that sung to me anyway, so it's a win for me. I'll have to thank Doug. It looks good." He dug in with a speed that rivaled Ann's.
Claire took a cupcake of her own. "How about you, Karen?"
She shook her head. "Busy. Besides, I'd rather have a sandwich later. Doesn't this color look awesome on Cliff?" She held up his hand to show off. "Time for another coat, and then it will really look nice."
He obediently placed his hands flat on the table with the patience of an older sibling.
"This isn't your first rodeo, huh?" Ann craned her neck to watch.
"Ma didn't paint her nails often, but my sister would do it on rare occasions. She mostly did it when her friend came over and wanted to. She had this shade of dark green I liked to wear sometimes."
Claire paused mid-bite, envy crawling across her skin like a cold shiver.
I wonder if Wren's eyes were deep green…
Stop being stupid, Claire. They were young – it was a teenage crush.
I wonder if they would've gotten married if he stayed in Akiyama, though…
Her heart sank.
And we likely would have never met.
I would be here, still friends with Karen and Ann. But… how well would I have managed? I didn't know how to fish, what to eat out in the woods. I doubt I would've approached Gotz willingly out of sheer shyness. I would've been exhausted. How would I have found food? Taken handouts from Karen and Ann?
She realized more than ever the discomfort Cliff must be feeling at Ann's offers of food.
Would I have gone back to the city? Live with Mum, Dad, Byron, and Lucas? There's no way I would've been able to afford an apartment again. Mum and Dad would've been so disappointed in me…
I would've been disappointed in myself...
Would Simone ever have reached out? Or would she be too disappointed?
The word kept echoing in her mind like the toll of a solemn bell.
Disappointed.
You make people disappointed.
You are a disappointment.
"That color looks good on you. I don't know if I've said this before, but you should wear blue more often." Karen's voice sliced open a portal to reality, and Claire gratefully leapt through it.
"Th-thank you." Cliff shrank back in his seat shyly.
"Very nice!" Ann nodded with approval.
Claire looked up from the cupcake, warmth returning to her. "… Pretty."
He averted his eyes shyly, but a smile tugged at his lips.
"Claire will have another cupcake with me! … Won't you?" Ann looked up from her plate, her mouth still full.
Claire took a seat beside her, half-eaten cupcake in hand. "Ah, I'm still savoring my first." Food shared freely at a party was quite different from leftovers to help someone get by. The fresh buttercream and vanilla cake was as high of quality as the bakery her parents would order from when she was growing up.
"So what are you going to do, Birthday Boy? Want me to do yours next?" Karen asked.
Gray finished his food and listened as his friends read the colors on the bottles, mulling over which one to choose for themselves. Karen finished off Cliff's nails and looked at colors that interested her.
Perhaps it had something to do with having a lover now, but Gray could count the number of times that Cliff put special care into his appearance on his fingers, not that he was much different. Gray looked down at his scarred hands. They were much more rugged than they had been when he first arrived in town, but the healthier nails remained. He looked over at Ann, who promptly shoved the rest of her food into her mouth and began choosing a different bright color for each fingernail and Claire, who appraised the bottles, giving them an experimental shake.
"There's always old reliable," Karen reminded him, holding up a bottle of black.
"It does go with everything," Claire commented, more to herself than anyone else as she looked at her own rough nails with a lamented frown.
Gray's eyes were drawn to Cliff's hands. "Maybe I'll try something different, but I'm not really sure where to start. How will I know if it will look good?"
"Just pick something you like!" Ann replied eagerly.
"You picked all the ones you like," he snickered.
"Well, what colors do you like to see when you're at the forge?" Cliff asked.
Gray considered this, stroking his chin. He thought of the metal swirling about in the heat. Metallic copper, shiny nickel, fiery orange, luminescent gold…
With winter came the increased work on jewelry, and more recently he had been looking through the jewelry making books in his grandfather's shop after hours. The lovely peridots, emeralds, topaz and quartz. His eyes moved between the wide array of bottles – they weren't unlike the variety of stones Saibara worked with.
And hopefully I'll be working with someday, too...
He picked up a bottle with a copper shade and stared at it, watching the metallic shimmer swirl about. The colors of the refined metals at the forge alone were mesmerizing.
The noisy clatter of a closed bottle tumbling onto the tabletop caught his attention. Claire smiled apologetically when she noticed him, and she swiftly turned to painting her nails in a soft peach color. Her choice didn't come as a surprise to him, considering her reaction to the handkerchief he had given her the other day.
He couldn't help but notice how familiar the color was. Mary's fingernails sometimes had a lovely shine to them, a slightly peach hue. She always had them trimmed and painted nice when they had planned an evening to spend together, whether on a date or the secret meetings her parents didn't know about. He never really noticed small details like that on people until he laced his fingers with hers for the first time, noticing how soft her skin was and how glossy her nails were.
Karen picked up his choice of polish and turned it over in her fingers with a grin before returning it back to him. "A bold choice, but I like it!"
Attempting to shake the thoughts of Mary out of his head, he tugged on the bill of his cap. The copper color was brighter than he remembered. "Is it too bold? Maybe it will look dumb…"
Ann shook her head, her braid slapping herself a bit. "Not at all! The point is to choose something that makes you happy, and if that one makes you feel good, you should trust your gut!"
"I'll think on it."
"Well, if you don't wanna do your nails, there's always the old travel TV and game console under Kai's bed." Ann didn't look up from her painting.
The mention of his name caused a pang in Gray's heart. Seeing the unoccupied bed a majority of the year had numbed him a bit to it, but even when he wasn't there, it was still considered Kai's.
"I miss him."
He marveled at how easily the words came out, and felt a little embarrassed about it. Kai left every year and returned again in the summer.
What a weird winter. I'm getting soft.
"He called while you were out this afternoon. Said for you to give him a call tomorrow night," Ann remembered. "He told me to tell you not to party too hard today."
He felt his heart lift and chuckled as he retrieved the compact television and box containing the gaming console. "Better make sure I don't get too wild."
Gray cursed loudly as the game over theme played on the tiny television. He gestured toward the screen, as if it were the machine's fault.
"See? It's the damn flinch animation! All you have to do is get touched by an enemy, and then you fall straight into the pit!"
Karen rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure. We'll go with that." She gave the bill of his hat a playful tug.
"What are you talking about? You didn't even get past the second level!"
She shrugged, waving her controller. "I'm just goofing around on here. I didn't grow up playing this like you and Ann did."
He felt his ears go red as he furrowed his brow. "I really did used to be able to do this all in one go! It's been a while, so-"
An airy laugh stopped him from protesting further. "It's alright, Gray. I'm not judging you for being a little rusty. Besides, you should know by now that you don't have to impress me. It's okay, I still think you're cool."
Her cheeky wink caused his cheeks to burn. "Gah, why do you have to say stuff like that?"
"Would you rather I not think you're cool?"
He wasn't sure why her question had him blushing even harder. "You're just a tease. It's hard to tell when you're being sincere."
She gasped, placing a hand dramatically over her wounded heart. "How could you say such a thing? I'm always sincere!"
He didn't look away from the screen as he restarted the game. "You're a flirt and you coddle a select few."
It was Karen's turn to blush as she looked over at the blonde, who was chatting away eagerly with Ann. "I do not coddle Claire! Or… at least I've been trying to get better about it!"
"I didn't even say her name."
And you didn't deny being a flirt, either…
"You didn't have to. I could just tell by the way you said it," she huffed. She stole his hat in response and plopped it on top of her head. "Consider your hat privileges revoked."
He paused and looked over at her.
"I'm rocking this look, huh?" Karen asked with a playful smirk.
He shrugged. "Looks better on you than it does on me."
"Hey, you're not supposed to agree!" A scowl covered her face. "C'mon! Where's your sass?"
His gaze moved away from her. He heaved a deep sigh and set down the controller, his playful mood gone. "She always liked it better when I didn't wear that damn thing anyway…"
They sat silently for a few moments, their attention slowly drifting to their friends at the table. Ann had finished the punchline to a joke and Claire was laughing so hard she began to wheeze. Cliff emerged from the restroom and was drawn to the laughter, his face lighting up at Claire's mirth. Grinning smugly at the success of her joke, Ann took a plate and put a cupcake on it, cocking her head toward the pair by the television. They waved politely in response, and Ann gathered more food to bring over. Cliff and Claire took the opportunity while she was distracted to show off their painted nails, forgetting about Karen and Gray for the moment. Cliff laced his fingers with Claire's and they lingered, their cheeks growing rosy as their eyes met.
Gray could remember being frustrated at Ann's birthday party when Cliff would always take an extra step back from Claire. It seemed now, Cliff was often taking small steps toward her instead. He had changed – he had grown. Something about that made Gray's heart happy and sad at the same time.
Karen's voice was scarcely louder than the old television.
"Y'know," she ventured, "it's okay to… miss her even if you're mad at her."
For a brief moment, he thought that she had been referring to Claire until he turned toward her, seeing the humor gone from her face. He allowed the feelings of grief to push back through the web of distractions he had been trying to place all evening. "You miss him, too, don't you?"
Karen's eyes refused to meet his. "I'm… not really sure," she confessed. "I mean, sometimes I think back on how things were and I wish I were more open with him, but…"
Gray thought of the pensive manner Rick had about him when he visited the smithy and the bar. He almost acted as if a part of him was missing, and Gray wondered if he was starting to adopt the same look.
"You miss him." Ann's voice emerged from behind them as she sat down on the floor with a soft grunt.
"How long have you been listening?" Karen hissed, her blush unmistakable.
Ann shifted into a cross-legged position and she nudged the plate in between them, taking a sandwich for herself. "Long enough to know that you could both use a pick me up." She pulled the bottle of copper nail polish out of her pocket and handed it over to Gray.
"It's rude to eavesdrop." Karen sulked.
Ann rolled her eyes. "Like we all don't know what's going on. We're all friends here, right?" She finished chewing and reached for a game controller.
"Well then, let's hear your unsolicited advice," Gray quipped with a snort,
Ann unpaused the game and her muscle memory took over as she nimbly dodged the obstacles. "It's not unsolicited if you're specifically asking for it, dummy." She stuck out her tongue at him, but her features quickly softened.
"He sees you as a sister – you know that he cares a lot about what you think, even if he can be a bit prickly at times." Karen murmured.
"I'm right here," Gray huffed, but he didn't look up from painting his nails.
"I can't really claim to be an expert at these kinds of things, but I hear a lot. It's part of being a barkeeper, y'know."
"Don't give me that. I know you've… well… had feelings for someone before."
Ann paused the game and set down the controller. "Well, yeah… But that doesn't mean I know what I'm doing," she broke off with a weak laugh. Her friends softly chuckled in agreement. "Ah, I'm as lost as the both of you, aren't I? The only two in this room who aren't failing in love are..."
She cocked her head toward Cliff and Claire, who were working together to straighten up the table and put away the nail polish bottles. The doting smiles on their faces were unmistakable.
"Damn, I'm jealous." Gray breathed her inner thoughts. Karen and Ann looked at him, and he felt his face heat up. "I know it's stupid. I just keep thinking how great things were, and why they couldn't stay the way they had."
"If she wanted a break, things weren't perfect," Karen reminded him bluntly.
He gulped, closing the copper bottle of polish. "You're right. She worried that I was all or nothing with my friends."
"A fair assessment." Ann stared blankly at the pause screen on the television. "You either dote on me or Cliff or we're the scum of the earth. There's no in between with you."
He slouched his posture, mortification setting in. "Something like that."
"But you haven't been that way for a while," Ann replied. "At least not with me."
"It's him." Icy blue eyes were locked onto the man sitting at the table. "I don't do it on purpose. I would worry that Mary didn't think she was as important, and since I, uh…"
He hesitated, shaking his head.
"Relationships are weird. You want to prove to your partner that you'd choose them over anyone, and when you try to show that kind of devotion, they get suspicious."
Ann tilted her head curiously. "I don't get it. What do you mean?"
Gray rolled his neck and shoulders, sighing. "I wanted her to know that there was no one else – that she didn't have to question my loyalty. I thought it would make it easier for her to understand that by telling her that no one else meant shit to me, but it just made her mad."
"Well, damn, that would make me mad, too," Karen replied with a groan. "What kind of crap did you tell her about me?"
"No, it's not like that!" he insisted, shaking his head vigorously. "I just…"
He blinked in surprise at the words he had chosen to say to Mary.
"I… didn't want to connect myself to anyone but her." Saying the words aloud made him feel hollow inside. "I told her he was nothing."
The two women looked at the table curiously, then back at Gray.
"But he's not nothing. He never has been," Ann whispered. "Even in the early days where you two struggled to get along, there was always something there. Like a little spark, y'know?"
Gray was certain his face had turned scarlet. "You let me live through all of that without telling me you knew?"
"Sometimes it's best to learn things on your own. It's not like you would have believed me anyway," Ann replied. "You would've called me stupid or something."
"Probably..." Gray reached to pull his cap over his head, but grabbed air instead. He suddenly felt naked without his hat on.
"The two of you have to live together. Obviously, you'd have to get along before too long," Karen pointed out. "Can you imagine the two of them struggling to get along forever?"
"Yes!" Ann replied a little too readily. "It was hell."
"Sorry." Gray choked out. "I don't want him to think I hate him." He cocked his head curiously at the hand motions Ann was making, but by the time he turned around, it was too late.
Cliff stood behind him, clad in one of Gray's sweatshirts. He had a confused look on his face, but Gray could see the worry lines on his forehead. "Sh-Should I come back later?" His words weren't accusing, but they stabbed Gray straight to the core.
"No, man. Sit down. Sit by me." He patted the floor beside him. When Cliff sat down, Gray turned toward him, the other people in the room fading away. "Cliff…"
Cliff looked at him with those wide eyes that reminded him of their earlier days rooming together.
Back before we knew how to talk to each other… When all he managed to do was piss me off and I could barely say anything without him running off to hide in the woods or the church...
Gray's sweatshirt was a bit baggy on him and as Cliff slouched, he looked smaller than ever. The quaver in his voice sounded like he was expecting a scolding of some sort.
"Y-Yeah?"
Am I that intimidating?
"Hey, you know I don't hate you, right?" He could feel his brow furrowing. "That I like you and think you're cool."
Cliff's posture straightened. "Yeah, I know. I like you, too, Gray. I didn't forget about what we talked about the other day." His eyes moved toward the women and he suddenly felt self-conscious, his cheeks flushing. "Why d-do you ask?"
"I didn't mean to make it weird," Gray said with an apologetic smile. "I just… I guess I just wanted to make sure you knew that I wasn't just telling you what you wanted to hear."
"Well, that kind of talk never helps out in the long run anyway," Cliff responded.
"You're right." Gray's voice was sober.
The friends all sat together in front of the television, taking turns at the gaming console.
"You must've beaten this game so many times by now that you could play with your eyes closed!" Ann laughed.
"On days I don't have to focus as hard at work, like mining days, it helps pass the time to imagine playing through the levels," Gray replied, his eyes glued to the television.
Karen shrieked as an enemy knocked out her character. "I need backup! Not all of us have this memorized!"
Gray moved his character back to assist hers. "Amateur."
Karen bumped her shoulder against him in retaliation.
"You want my help or not?"
"Probably don't need it!" he quipped with a laugh.
"Ah, this makes me think of last winter. We sometimes still play on slow mornings," Ann explained, watching her friends play. "It was an icebreaker Gray used to get closer to Cliff. That is, once things calmed down. At first Gray wanted nothing to do with him but it wasn't long before he kept constantly asking me where Cliff would head off to all day. As if I knew his schedule-"
"I think she gets the picture!" Gray interjected, turning to glare at her. The motion caused his character to hit an obstacle, and he cursed under his breath.
Cliff watched his reaction with curiosity before he felt the heat rise in his own face.
Oh, that must have been when he had those kind of feelings for me… But I was so unlikable then…
Very, very unlikable and desperate for any kind of validation.
Huh, I wonder if I'll ever outgrow that…
Ann's eyes remained glued to the screen as she munched on their snacks. Claire watched the game with interest and caught movement in her peripheral vision. Cliff was leaning back to watch Claire on the other side of the room. They shared a warm smile and her heart sped up when he winked at her. She leaned back as well, turning to face him.
"You play this one with Gray?" she asked.
Cliff nodded. "He's more patient with Karen, though."
"I heard that!"
The two of them chuckled.
Claire wasn't surprised to learn that Gray and Ann were fairly competitive and didn't appreciate Karen messing up on purpose for the sake of laughs. Cliff clearly hadn't grown up with the game, but still gave it a try, apologizing when he caused his teammates to fall behind. Claire had grown up with classmates who owned the console, but she wasn't very experienced herself. Still, she was pleased that the controls came fairly easily to her.
The hour grew late as they amassed more blankets and pillows, The Tabster making her rounds between the friends, often cuddling with the person who was attempting to concentrate most at the game. Karen caught Gray admiring the color of his nails.
"It looks good," she said with a smile.
He shyly crumpled his hands into fists, looking down at the floor.
"Hey, there's nothing to get sore over," she replied, giving him a playful punch on the shoulder. "You're allowed to look nice."
He didn't realize how the simple utterance of that phrase would cause his throat to immediately tighten. He shrugged in reply, blinking lest his increased eye moisture should show.
She brushed her shoulder against his as she turned to face him. "Hey, what's wrong?"
"Nothing. This is nice."
He finally couldn't stand it anymore.
"I like being here with all of you, but I wish she were here."
The room was quiet, save the music emanating from the television. To his discomfort, his friends had paused the game, focusing their attention on him.
"I just… I wish things didn't have to end the way they did. I wanted to be with her for such a long time, and… it just went up in a puff of smoke. I thought we were doing well."
No one said anything, but as they settled in and focused more attention, he wasn't sure whether to feel embarrassed or relieved that they were letting him speak without interruption. Perhaps it was the late hour that made everyone less boisterous than they were earlier, or maybe they really did want to hear what he had to say. Either way, he suddenly felt very exposed and he looked down at his newly painted nails shyly.
"I mean, I know things weren't perfect. I know I have stuff I gotta work on. And Mary, well… I know she cared too much what her parents thought, but I never thought it was going to be enough that she wouldn't want to be with me anymore."
"But she said it was a break," Claire reminded him.
"Yeah, she wasn't breaking up with you permanently," Ann pointed out. "You misunderstood and ended up assuming the worst. That's what happens when you jump into things without thinking them through."
"That's the problem!" Gray groaned. "I drag my feet any time it comes to making an important decision. And then the one time I try to be proactive, I wind up screwing up everything!"
Ann looked down and realized she was wringing her hands. "I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean to make it sound like it was a hopeless case or anything. It's not like Mary hates you. She still wants to be with you."
The words left his mouth before he could stifle them. "But I want to be with her now! I don't want to be apart from her at all! She is stuck on this idea of her parents' approval meaning everything!"
Claire had echoed a similar sentiment about life in general to her sister, Simone.
"You're missing the whole point. If Mum and Dad don't approve… then it's no good!"
Her view on her sibling had changed so much since they were young, and her last visit felt like it was the first time she had actually been able to talk to her as an equal. The rocky start her parents had regarding Simone's husband Jean, and Simone's pleading that Claire follow her own path to happiness. Perhaps it was time and growth on both sides that made this conversation possible, and also allowed Claire to start thinking of putting her own needs first.
"From what you told me, it sounds like she has some things she needs to work through to understand herself better. Sometimes time is necessary. She's trying to use this time to grow, and it can be good for the both of you. You'll be able to understand each other better after all is said and done."
"Time, time, time…" Gray sighed. "It's always time." He looked at her apologetically. "I'm sorry, it's not you… I just… I've spent so much of my adult life trying to grow and be 'better' that it's exhausting."
"You know, I've screwed up more times than I can possibly count at this point. It's a tiring process, trying to improve yourself…" Cliff's voice was soft. "But I can promise to you that it's worth it. I don't claim to be perfect or anything, but… wanting to become someone that your partner can rely on – I understand that." He gazed across the group toward Claire, offering her an affectionate smile. She blushed as she returned the expression, her hand resting over her heart.
Gray looked up at him, his mouth screwed up into a frown. Cliff moved in a little closer and wrapped his arm around his friend's shoulders.
"I'm such a screw up." Gray's voice was muffled against Cliff's shoulder.
"Join the club," Karen replied. "Let's do something about it, though. Spend more time with us, and don't close yourself off so much. Let us know how you're feeling and check in with us."
"Do fun stuff with us!" Ann chimed in. "You can test some of my new recipes!"
"You're allowed to have room in your heart for more than one kind of love," Claire ventured.
"You should listen to Claire – she's our love guru." Ann's expression looked too earnest for Claire to mistake as sarcasm.
Karen nodded soundly, humming in approval. "Juggling relationships can be hard, but I hear it's worth it."
"Sometimes… I can't help but wonder if she thinks of me as much as I think of her…" Without his hat on, Clare couldn't help but focus on how vulnerable and young he looked, his ruffled hair pulled away from his downcast eyes.
"Of course she thinks about you!" Ann insisted. "She's taking this time for the both of you, after all!"
"You two aren't exactly close," he responded with a deep sigh. "I really doubt she told you anything like that."
There was an awkward silence as the pause music continued in the background, none of the people present in the room listening to the comical blips and bloops in the song.
"I know her well enough," Ann finally stated. "I see her dad almost every day."
"And how much do her parents really know about her? Apparently, that's why she wanted a break – so she could get them to understand her. They think she's still a kid, and the lack of privacy was so frustrating. I can even imagine it was a pain for you when you were with Rick," Gray offered, cocking his head in Karen's direction.
Her face flushed more deeply than Claire had ever seen it before. Whether it was from anger at the mention of his name or embarrassment, she wasn't quite sure.
"It's hard to have a lover in this town without everyone knowing your business," she stated plainly, her voice unnaturally calm. "Areas for a couple to… enjoy any sort of private time together are slim to none." She paused, groaning. "That is, unless you have a place of your own."
Everyone's eyes naturally flew toward Claire, and she wondered if the heat radiating from her face was enough to keep the entire inn well-heated in the winter chill. She looked down at the floor, unsure if they were expecting some kind of remark about what kind of freedom she had.
Eager to divert the discomfort, Cliff spoke up. "Uh… some creativity would come in handy for sure, I suppose."
Again, their eyes bore into him, and he shrank back, a little regretful that he had said anything at all.
Gray's jealousy returned in full force. "How creative are you with finding privacy? Simply knocking on the door of Claire's house?"
The couple shared a pining gaze from across the group, longing to sit beside each other for support. Before either of them could think of a reply, Ann's sharp, rapt reply caused everyone to jump a little. "It's not their fault! They're trying to help, so stop being bitter and taking it out on them!"
Gray averted his gaze, huffing in frustration at his lapse of progress, but the shock on Karen's face was unfiltered as her eyes welled up with tears.
"I've been selfish again, haven't I? So focused on my own problems like always." She leaned against Claire and threw her arms around her, pulling her into her chest and resting her head on top of hers. "I'll be better – I promise. My friends deserve the best, after all."
Karen's eyes met Gray's and his raised eyebrows didn't go unnoticed. She held Claire tighter, daring him to say anything about her coddling.
"Maybe talking to Carter would help give you another perspective," Cliff supplied. "I know you aren't very religious, but Carter doesn't really act like a priest at all. He's given me advice more times than I can count… although I don't know if my endorsement really means much," he chuckled weakly.
"I like talking to him," Claire chimed in.
Karen set to braiding her blonde hair. "Has he told you the story of the neighbor he had at the apartment complex he lived at before he decided to become a priest?"
Gray looked at her curiously, but Cliff caught his attention when he began shaking his head fiercely and making hand motions to drop the subject.
"Okay, now I'm intrigued. What's this all about, now?"
Karen cackled. "Well, I guess it would be best to hear straight from the source."
"Agreed!" Cliff chimed in. "Besides, those kinds of stories scare some people."
Ann smiled at him. "You remembered," she murmured softly. She ruffled his shaggy hair and threw her arms around his neck. Seeing the serious expression on Gray's face, she pulled back, sending him a curious look.
"What's on your mind?" Claire spoke low, almost afraid to break the silence.
Gray looked down at his fingernails, the color reflecting the light of the television. "You and Cliff are right. I have to try new things if I want to change. Cliff's grown so much and… well…" he mused, rubbing the crook of his neck, a hint of hope spreading his features, "maybe… I should give it a shot, you know? Maybe Carter would have some good advice. It's not like doing nothing has been very helpful."
"Well, you're not going to be doing nothing," Ann reminded him with a warm smile. "You're also going to be more open with us."
"I suppose it wouldn't hurt if we were all a little more open with each other," Karen confessed, placing Claire's completed braid on her shoulder.
Claire thought of how expressing her feelings more openly had cured her loneliness. "I think it would be good for all of us."
"They're all good people," Cliff murmured to him softly, his wide, blue eyes earnest.
Gray looked out at his group of friends. Ann nodded eagerly, looking a little too pleased with the compliment. Karen confidently grinned with a gleam of understanding. Claire had turned toward him, her shy smile more confident toward him than it had been in weeks. Cliff gazed at all of them before resting his eyes on Gray, comfortable and relaxed, silently asking him to enjoy their time together.
Each of them was different in their own right, yet they had all chosen to be there that night. Gray's heart swelled.
"They are… and I'm glad they're here."
Author's Note: Thank you so much for your patience with this chapter. I've been going through a lot of changes in my life recently, including providing acting as a caregiver for a parent, so I've had to focus on restructuring my schedule and I'm still trying to get a handle on making time for myself. I made a promise to myself to post in this fic again by the end of the year because this story is such a personal journey for me. I'm eager to include the theme of friends growing closer and reaching out helping hands to one another, as my friends have been so kind and loving through all of this. I'd like to dedicate this chapter to y'all. :)
Throughout the drafting of this chapter, I had about three parallel timelines going on at once, so there was a lot of trimming things down and homogenizing everything into one scenario. I've had such a blast writing for these characters, and while writing group scenes can be tricky, I feel that it's very rewarding. Thank you very much for reading, and I hope you enjoy! Please take care of yourself during this busy season, and may it be a gentle one for you.