Full Summary: Being reincarnated into the One Piece universe is not what one would expect after death. Especially when the 'character' you've been born into is someone who technically doesn't exist. Were things supposed to remain the same, or were you suppose to change them? Only time will tell, supposedly.
"I am an informant. I know things. Most of them unfortunately not pleasant." - Portgas D. Roux
Warning(s): Slash/Yaoi, Timeline Alterations, Reincarnation.
Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, obviously.
Roux hid his wry smile behind his cup of matcha tea, tentatively sipping the hot bitter liquid as he watched the workers rush to and fro, preparing for the Tea Party that was scheduled to be in 3 days' time. Unsurprisingly, the bitter tea matched well with the sweet, plentiful desserts that Head Chef Streusen kept delivering to their VIP roundtable.
Roci was seated silently to his left, looking impassive with his arms crossed and his body language revealing nothing but utmost relaxation. As usual, Roci's acting skills were commendable. Roux, however, knew him too well to be tricked. His PA was nervous, his skin (or what small portion he could see of them) was two shades paler. He was also avoiding the food, too anxious to put anything in his stomach.
Even though he wanted to reach out and comfort Roci, he held in the urge. He couldn't continue to coddle his PA, though he couldn't really blame the younger male for acting this way. To be in the presence of Big Mom was something not many could withstand. The Haki she continuously emits was beyond overkill.
Roux took a mental note to train Roci's Haki tolerance in the future so this wouldn't be a repeat performance.
"Here, Red. Ahh~" Linlin, who was seated to his right, smiled childishly as she neared a forkful of cake to his mouth that was, thankfully, the right portion for him.
He withheld the temptation to refuse and compliantly parted his lips, still keeping his fingers around his cup to prevent his body from reacting foolishly - like swatting the giant appendage away (not that he would do something so suicidal).
"Is it yummy?"
If it was anyone else that had spoonfed him like a child, he would've punched their teeth in. Big Mom (and Garp because clearly, that man was beyond help), however, was an exception. Rather than her teeth being the one to take damage, it would be his hand that would break.
Not revealing any of his inner thoughts, he only allowed a slight hum of appreciation to be heard, "It is as expected, Lin-sama. Streusen has proven himself worthy of his position as your Head Chef." He licked the smudged whipped cream on the corner of his lips to prove the point.
"I'm glad. Does this mean you'll stay?" The giant-sized human grinned as she munched on her equally giant-sized cream puff.
"For the duration of Lin-sama's Tea Party."
"Haaaaaahahamamamama~ And more! My kids will all be there. You'll meet them, won't you, Red?" Somehow, he got a really bad feeling. "After all, you need to know your future step-children, right, Red?"
He hid his uncomfortable smile behind his own average-sized cream puff, concurrently delaying his response whilst the triplets, Brûlée, and Roci watched him with various expressions on their faces, "Of course I would meet them all, Lin-sama. Just by the few I have had the pleasure of encountering, I can hardly wait to see the rest of your progeniture... Although I must decline your offer of fatherhood, as... pleasing as it sounds. Family has always been a touchy subject for me, as you should know, Lin-sama."
He purposely added the last bit with a little reprimand in his voice. She knew of his reluctance to start a family, and as immature and bullheaded as she was, respected him enough to not pry deeper. It did not, however, stop her from asking his hand in marriage whenever they meet.
That personality of hers was endearing as it was infernal. Kind of like a female version of Garp... He mentally shuddered and removed that disturbing thought from his head. Ah, how he loathed how his mind conjured such nightmarish images with such swiftness. Sometimes, he truly wonders why his brain loves to torment him so.
"Step-children are different from-"
"Lin-sama."
"Fine. You can picture them as nephews and nieces. You'll still marry me, right?"
He rubbed the bridge of his nose as he sighed.
Knowing that that was a hard-to-win battle, he decided that it was high time they moved onto another topic before her children get a seizure from her OOC-ness, "You've yet met my Personal Assistant, have you, Lin-sama?" She pouted at his drawl even as she shook her head.
"I've heard of him." She finally switched her target, her eyes narrowed on Roci's form. It made the latter tense under her scrutiny, "Quijote 'Phantom' Dapple. The infamous assassin that doubles as your PA. His targets don't realize he's there until it's already too late for them. Wanted by the World Government - or to be more specific; the Gorosei - alive due to his relation to you."
Roci's droopy eyes were slitted as they regarded Linlin as if trying to figure out the workings of her brain. Roux inwardly snorted. The thought process of Linlin forever continues to baffle him, and he deemed it a lost cost. His PA should quit ahead of time before she gives him an incurable migraine.
"My my, it always amazes me how widespread rumors tend to bend out of shape." He nibbled the dessert in his hand for a short while as his mind raced, "Dapple-kun may have a muted presence, but I can hardly describe him as a highly regarded assassin. He's wanted by the Gorosei, you say?" Has Roci's identity been compromised?
"Oya? Does that mean I know something that you don't?" There was definitely a glint in her eyes as she leaned back against her seat, her hands not once stopping in their actions of stuffing her cheeks full.
A flirty proposing and mischevious prankster she may be, but she did not gain the title as an Underworld behemoth due to her brute strength alone (eh, kinda. Like, 80%?). Someone of her status would always have business in their minds, no matter who she relaxes with.
A trade-off, huh? You need to be craftier than that if you want me to play along, Linlin dear, he mused whilst fingering his fork.
"I'm not omniscient no matter how much you think I am, Lin-sama." He gives her a wary smile, "As much as I would love to know the actions and motives of all the Celestial Dragons, I tend to stay as far as possible away from them."
"Not that I disapprove, but I thought you like keeping your enemies closer, Red."
"Inapplicable." He bit into his snack more ferociously then intended, eyebrows furrowed in anger at those stuck-up Nobles. Suddenly, his eyes took on a sharp edge as a plan formed, "Especially after my latest encounter with one of them. Unpleasant doesn't begin describing that experience."
Big Mom blinked as she chewed slowly, "Oh? You're making me curious here, Red. Tell me, tell me!" He knew that Big Mom hated the Celestial Dragons as much as he did, so even if he had not worded it in such a manner, his carefully maneuvered expression and body language was enough to fan her flames of hatred.
With a genuine grimace on his face, he crossed a leg over the other and turned more fully towards the giant-sized woman, ignoring the eyes of her children on him with practiced ease, "I gained a stalker. A very tenacious and distasteful stalker. It is not exactly something new in my trade, but however used to it as I am, his motives make it less than cordial. Borderline disturbing, to be truthful. Would you say I make a good human doll or a concubine, Lin-sama?"
The air in their immediate vicinity froze, dropping colder and colder. Brûlée, who was the weakest amongst the people seated at the VIP roundtable, slumped, her consciousness having left her due to the terrifying Haoshoku Haki Linlin was emitting. Roci wasn't doing any better, his forehead gaining a shiny sheen of cold sweat. Roux was quick to extend his own Haki to surround his PA in order to abate the effects; which made the younger male sigh silently in relief. Definitely needed more Haki resistance training.
"What did the lowlife do?" Her voice, which was naturally childish, was now low and hard - her eyes icy as she glared at him. He knew that it wasn't aimed at him, yet it still affected him, causing his muscles to grow taut as they ready themselves to act at the slightest of her movements.
He hummed in fake nonchalance as he grabbed his teacup, swallowing a mouthful for some dramatic pausing, "It's like this-
...
...
...
"Boss!" His PA cried from the crow's nest, making Roux, who was seated at the deck, grunt in question from his personal relaxer chair that was shaded by the ever soothing patio umbrella, the foldable coffee table in front of him littered with a frustrating amount of paperwork. Damn Sengoku for delivering them via Courier Coo. As if he wasn't busy enough as it was. "Sail Ho! Marine clipper spotted at our 2'oclock. They're giving us a signal; a request to meet. How does ye want me to respond, captain? Shall I scuttle 'em? Or maybe commit some piracy?" He joked.
That made him look up from his paperwork, an unimpressed expression on his face. Roci may be a former pirate (and marine, and World Noble), but did he have to joke like one as well? It was uncouth and uncultured for any member of his sophisticated team to talk in such a manner. It contradicts their uniformed iron-pressed suits and polished dress shoes way too much.
"If they're not in the Blacklist, give them the go ahead." He stated without responding to the younger man's jest. Spotting Luffy's gift, he placed the paperweight - an ugly rock that Luffy sculptured to be some kind of malformed meat - onto his current stack and stretched, deciding that it would be a good time to procrastinate.
"Aye, Boss!"
He pushed himself off of his seat and straightened his suit, before reaching for his fedora that was hooked on the edge of his chair and plopped it onto his head. With one smooth motion, he buttoned the collar of his dress shirt and fastened his tie. Next was his sleeves, unrolling them before slipping a pair of cufflinks that had a red smiley face on them.
Giving himself a once-over, he nodded his head and headed for the quarterdeck, intending to steer the vessel and meet his soon-to-be clients halfway.
"Is it a standard ship? Hm, wait. That was an unintelligent question, my bad - standard ones aren't strong enough for Paradise. Is it a standard battleship or a personal one?" He asked once Roci had climbed down from the crow's nest and was in hearing distance.
"Vice-Admiral Momonga's," Roci replied distractedly as he struggled to tie his tie, his scarf and fedora tucked underneath an arm, and his suit slightly wrinkled from lazing about.
With a roll of his eyes, he released the wheel and batted the clumsy idiot's hands away. Roci's cheeks flushed with embarrassment as Roux pulled the taller man down to fix his tie for him - just like a father would do so for his inexperienced son on his graduation day.
"Really, Roci, after so many years, you should already be proficient enough to tie your own tie - and no, I won't allow clip-on, for the very last time. There, done." He patted the younger man's chest and smoothed the other's suit from wrinkles, blatantly ignoring how red Roci was. If the clumsy idiot didn't want to be humiliated, he should've learned by now to not act like such a child. With a sigh, he wrapped the fluffy pink scarf around Roci's shoulders, making sure that it hid the bottom half of his face. "Mind the wheel, but don't go off course."
He turned on his heel and swiftly strode to his study, leaving a mumbling Roci behind, his PA not-so-quietly complaining about 'not being a child and boss should trust him more, the demon'. He decided to double Roci's stealth training for that last comment. That would teach the clumsy idiot for being so cheeky.
Roux prepared a few blank documents and carefully placed them into his silver briefcase. The only reason why a marine ship would request a meeting was obvious; they wanted information on a pirate crew. Since it was by complete coincidence that they crossed paths, it would benefit them to buy the latest Intel that involves their current mission from a neutral third party. If they were from CP, however, Roux wouldn't give them the light of day.
When he heard a loud splash, indicating that the anchor had been thrown into the sea, he felt his ship come to a slow stop. He stepped out of his study with a briefcase in hand and a polite smile playing on his lips. He handed the case to his PA as soon as the latter fell into step with him. The battleship loomed over their decently sized vessel, engulfing them completely in its shadow.
Before the marines could throw down Jacob's Ladder, he jumped onto the air and geppo-ed to the battleship, Roci following not far behind. The second he landed on the battleship's deck, however, he was greeted by a horde of twitchy Officers pointing their rifles at him. The Ensign of the crew, a woman with long, curly strawberry blonde hair and wide eyes, hurriedly yelled at the lot to put their weapons away, which they complied after much hesitation.
He almost made a comment about insubordination. Almost. Gentlemen, after all, don't offer rude commentaries.
"Informant Daemon Red. Vice Admiral Momonga is waiting for you in his office. If you would follow me, I would lead you to him. Your a-assistant, of course, is welcome to join."
Roux raised a slight brow when the Ensign stuttered on the word assistant, but paid it no mind. He gave her a polite nod and followed after their guide, Roci's towering height and dour demeanor causing the Petty Officers to take a few steps back as they parted like the red sea. He hid his amusement behind his gentlemanly facade.
A few minutes later and the Ensign gestured at a nondescriptive wooden door. He knocked, waited for the muffled approval, and entered with Roci half a step behind of him. The Ensign didn't follow, only closing the door behind of them.
"We meet again, Daemon Red, Quijote Dapple." The Vice Admiral greeted as he stood, the mohawk and mustache, as well as the purple and white pinstripe suit looking the same as ever, "Please, have a seat. I thank you for accepting my sudden request."
He seated himself in front of the man's desk and crossed a leg over the other. Roci stood on his right, a protective statue that was subtly looking for any signs of an attack as well as all the exit points and hidden spots that could be used for an ambush. He felt pride at his PA's actions, no matter how common of a sight it was now.
"It is of no trouble, Vice Admiral Momonga. I hope the information I sold to you on our last transaction has been helpful."
"It has. Tea?" At Roux's nod, Momonga brought out an already prepared teapot of matcha tea. Most of his repeated clients took note of his fondness for matcha, so it was of no surprise that it was served as a drink. The marine poured them both a cup. Roci was bypassed as per usual since everyone knew that the PA would refuse. This was all an act, of course, his stoic professionalism being a key factor to deter the clients from blatantly poisoning Roux's tea.
"Thank you, Vice Admiral. Now, how may I be of assistance this time?" He asked lightly before taking a tentative sip of the reviving liquid. It made the fatigue he had accumulated from paperwork disappear. High-class leaves were definitely not spared for this brew.
"I'd like to buy the latest Intel on the Sharktooth pirates." was said straightforwardly.
Roux tilted his fedora forward so that it shadowed his eyes and traced a thumb on his bottom lip in thought. He set inner-him to search through his 'pirate album' until he came across what Momonga wanted.
"Ah, yes. There has been an update on them last month. Nothing else in between now and then." Without having said anything else, Roci opened the briefcase he has been holding onto, pulled out a stack of blank documents, and set them on the desk in front of Roux. A black ballpoint pen, elegant and stylish with golden vines engraved delicately on it, was handed personally to the informant. "May I confirm your purchase once more?"
"All Intel that concerns the Sharktooth pirates. Just the crew itself and not their families. Any notable allies would be appreciated. The price is of no issue."
"Mm. Thank you for your purchase, Vice Admiral. Please allow me some time to write down what I know. I assure you that everything shall be up to standard."
"Take your time, Informant Daemon. I already know that you give nothing but the best result." Was said seriously after the man swallowed a mouthful of his own tea.
"Your faith in my services brings me great delight." He gave the marine a genteel smile, "Are you heading to Sabaody Archipelago, perchance?"
Momonga's eyes sharped, "Are the Sharktooth pirates last seen there?"
"My my, answering a question with another question is considered rude, Vice Admiral Momonga," he stated with amusement shining in his eyes.
"And giving out non-answers is better?"
"Hm, you're being awfully cheeky this fine afternoon. Careful, if I didn't know any better, I would think you are trying to rile me up."
"Did I go too far and hurt your delicate feelings? My apologies." The Vice Admiral stated in a wholly unapologetically drawl.
He shook his head but was inwardly tickled by the man's attitude. Momonga might be a down to earth kind of man but he did have a sense of humor - albeit a dry one. Besides, the marine was punctilious enough to already know the answer to his own question. Their exchange was simply bantering, with him having voluntarily provided an Intel free of charge to show his goodwill.
With nothing else to add, he started jotting down the Intel, his pen flying across the papers. He sipped his own cooling tea every now and then, with Roci having looked away to stare out of the window in boredom. Momonga himself was doing his own paperwork, his high rank giving him a tight schedule. Knowing Sengoku, the no-nonsense old man had definitely given all of his subordinates a short deadline. And unlike Garp, nobody else dared to hand in a belated report.
The silence was a companionable one, with the sound of pen scratches and sipping as background noises. If only all of his business transactions were peaceful like this, without any subtle powerplay and crafty manipulation added into the mix. Even his dear PA - although still aware in case of any unexpected attacks - was dozing off slightly.
It was forty-five minutes into their meeting did he finally set his pen down, which Roci pocketed a second later. The serious marine skimmed through the papers with a satisfied glint in those dark eyes of his, humming once in a while when he saw something interesting. Roux took one final gulp of his tea and set the cup down, waiting patiently for the man to complete the transaction.
"All seems to be in order. How much do I owe you for your excellent service, Informant Daemon?"
"The total bounty of the Sharktooth pirates are 570,000,000 Beli. I'll be taking 190,000,000 Beli."
Momonga raised a brow at the price, "That's cheap - considering the outstanding quality of your material."
He chuckled, pushing the brim of his fedora upwards to peer at the marine from behind his eyelashes, "Think of it as a special discount for being an outstanding client."
"I see. Then it would be foolish of me to refuse your goodwill." The middle-aged man stood from his seat and walked towards a metallic-looking safe that was probably half-made with seastone. He entered the combination and took out one of the aluminum briefcases inside, placing it gently on his desk and removing a few stacks of greens. After a few more moments, he turned the open briefcase to face Roux. "There's exactly 190,000,000 Beli inside. Please confirm."
Roci stepped forward and placed his own briefcase next to Momonga's before he started to transfer the bills. Once he was done, he nodded at both the Vice Admiral and his boss, silently informing them that the amount was accurate.
"As always, it has been a pleasure doing business with you, Vice Admiral Momonga. I'll see you when I see you."
Just as they were extending their limbs for a handshake to conclude the meeting, the door was slammed open, much to the three occupants' surprise. It wasn't at all polite for someone to suddenly intrude on an important business meeting, even when both parties were on the verge of ending it, Momonga's crew should know better than that. Roux huffed. Couldn't the person have waited until they were at least done? Just as he was about to reprimand the ill-mannered bugger, Momonga stepped in front of him and blocked the person from his view.
He was downright frowning right now. No matter how much concern one has for one's subordinate, Momonga shouldn't protect them from Roux's current ire. Let him teach the marine lackey some manners. His eyes strayed to Roci, but before he could speak, his words were halted by the familiar feeling of distortion surrounding his person.
"We're Silent," Roci spoke with no one the wiser, the scarf doing more than simply hiding his identity. "A Celestial Dragon, a Fishman slave, a human guard, and a human attendant have entered the room. Your orders, Boss."
Roux scowled, his lips pressed into a thin line. He pulled the brim of his fedora to hide his eyes in its shadows, not even wanting to see a glimpse of the pompous arsehole. The World Nobles were an arrogant lot and didn't care about his neutrality or fairness. They considered themselves above the law, and if they wanted him dead, accusing him of starting a rebellion, even Sengoku would not be able to rebuke their false statement.
So with a calculative clearness, he went down to his knees in a seiza and bowed his head submissively (his pride cracked at having to figuratively bend backward for such people), not wanting to risk Roci's identity and freedom for something as petty as his ego.
"Kneel, Dapple." He placed importance on the younger man's name, "I forbid you from acting recklessly. We shall allow Momonga to handle this for now."
The former Noble obeyed without resistance and kneeled by Roux's side, muscles tensed as he bowed his head forward. Their briefcase was already out of sight, the PA having taken the initiative to hide the money as soon as the unwanted guests entered Momonga's office. Roux would've been proud at Roci's thinking, but it was smothered by the bad feeling that was currently boiling underneath his skin.
"Why are you not on your knees -arisu?" Joy. Do all Celestial Dragons have irritating nasal voices and galling verbal tics? This one was even haughtier than the last! It must be the fault of inbreeding. Wait, did that mean this guy could be Roci's cousin - or second cousin? Geh, how disturbing.
Momonga, after taking note of both Roci and Roux's position, immediately followed their example, slight relief and shame in his eyes. Roux didn't blame the man for not informing them about the unwanted guests onboard. It had probably slipped the Vice Admiral's mind, too busy with paperwork and their meeting to keep track of some spoilt brat.
He would have to inform Momonga afterward that he has an allergy to Celestial Dragons and would prefer to stay the fuck away from them. If the marine wanted to buy more of his future services, he would have to swear to never request a meeting when one was onboard his ship.
"I can't tolerate those that do not kneel on instinct. Have you no respect for your betters?" The wanna-be astronaut sneered, "Unacceptable -arisu. Nobody of such lowly status stands up before me -arisu!"
He eyed the scene warily from underneath the shadows of his fedora, his brows furrowed as the cogs in his brain worked on overdrive. When the cocking of a gun was heard, Roci had tensed completely, muscles pulling taut as he prepared to move. Roux murmured soothing words, but when he saw that it wasn't having any effect, harshly demanded his PA to remain immobile lest he dies a pointless death. Only when the younger man unclenched his fists did Roux go back to thinking.
Should he allow Momonga to be shot, or should he speak up? He would normally not hesitate since he viewed himself as a cunning fox with a silver tongue, able to talk his way out of a horde of murderous pirates, but with Celestial Dragons, however, they were beyond unreasonable due to their upbringing. His eyes were frosty as he scrutinized the Noble in the spacesuit, taking note of the stupid hairstyle and the arrogance shining in those beady eyes. The scum appeared to be in his mid-twenties, though Roux doubted his mental age was that high.
The Vice Admiral hadn't gone down to his knees immediately because he had purposely moved to attract the Noble's attention. It would be bad manners to leave a debt unpaid... No, he shouldn't intervene. Momonga might not be as high ranking as Sengoku, but the marine was the current captain and navigator of this vessel. Even a simpleton would know better than to off the ship's navigator at Paradise. Maybe a shot or two at the non-vital areas to 'teach him a lesson', but other than that, Momonga should still live after this encounter.
Assuming that the spoilt brat of a man knew the consequences of his actions.
The following scene could only be described as moronic. It was similar to a child who had not been through the first lesson of firearms. The consecutive shots that rang out - he counted seven in total - had not only given Momonga life-threatening wounds, the aim was also off and had hit the metallic safe, causing a few rebounds to take one of the two human down and pierce Roci in the right shoulder.
Fucking piece of-...!
He snarled, anger coating his words, "Drop your Silence."
"You said to leave it to Momonga, Boss," Roci all but growled, still unmoving even after the bullet had lodged deep into his bone.
He clicked his tongue in annoyance, tempted to punch the clumsy idiot on his head for insubordination. With a frustrated exhale, he compartmentalized away all the fondness he felt for Roci, inner-him holding onto those tender feelings and pushing out Thousand Eyes Red to the surface of his consciousness.
Portgas D. Roux retreated, leaving only the Demon Informant in his place.
"Donquixote Rocinante," His voice was glacial, causing the former Noble to flinch. The only time he had used this particular tone on Rocinante was when he had blackmailed the taller man into being his PA. It had not been pretty, back then, and by the slight trembling, Rocinante seemed to recall why exactly he was referred to as Boss, "I won't ask a second time."
At the jerky nod from Rocinante, he spoke without an ounce of emotion in his voice, "My Liege, may I have your permission to speak?" It left a bad aftertaste in his mouth the moment he spoke those words.
The neanderthal squinted his eyes, looking as if he had just bitten a lemon.
"Hm, very well -arisu. I give you permission to speak -arisu." Was said nasally, his chin tilted upwards in a show of self-importance. It only made the Noble appear immature in Red's eyes; as if a child trying to imitate someone respectable.
He tilted his head as if gratified, "I beseech that you spare him, my Liege. The Vice Admiral has done you wrong, having given you such disrespect, of course, he should pay the price with his life... however, I implore you to grant him mercy. The fate of this ship relies heavily on his navigation, for he is the only one onboard who knows the waters of Paradise well enough to sail smoothly."
"... Let me see your face." Rather than prioritizing the navigator's life, the Noble rudely kicked the Fishman aside and walked towards Red. Red looked up as instructed, his expression reticent. "I knew it -arisu!"
Red's muscles tensed beneath his suit.
It would be bad if the Noble recognized him as Thousand Eyes Red. He knew that the Gorosei has been actively sending their pet CPs to drag him to them, wanting to recruit him into their organization by force due to his wide intelligence network. The only reason why he was able to meet up with Sengoku and Garp at Marineford nowadays was due to the secret passageways.
If all hope was lost, he would behead the Noble where he stood before proceeding with everyone else (bar Rocinante). He would not allow any witnesses to be permitted if he were to execute a Celestial Dragon. Dead men tell no tales, after all.
"I've decided -arisu. We'll take you with us to Marījoa -arisu." The Celestial Dragon smiled lecherously with snot hanging down his nostrils, "You'll do for my doll collection. I'm missing a man to partner up with my latest mermaid slave -arisu."
"As you wish, sir," The attendant bowed whilst stepping slightly forward, "Shall I bring him to your room for now?"
Red was completely unimpressed.
"If you will it, it shall be, my Liege," He lied monotonously, ignoring the disbelieving eyes of the Fishman slave as well as the glee the Noble was sprouting, "However, we will not be able to get to the Holy Land if we allow this ship's navigator to die." He gestured to the Vice Admiral, inwardly frustrated that the dunderhead was not paying attention to his words.
"Eh? Navigator -arisu?" The Noble tilted his head as if confused.
"Yes, my Liege. The only navigator on board who is experienced in sailing through Paradise."
"Is that true -arisu?!" The utter fool wheezed out, glaring unreasonably at Momonga, who was still in seiza even though blood was pooling underneath him, "We don't have a navigator now -arisu! How will you take responsibility for this -arisu?!"
"I apolo...gize for... not informing... you be...forehand... sir." Momonga apologized, his voice wet and his lips stained with blood.
"Y-y-you...! I will inform report your incompetence -arisu! Hah, as expected of plebians -arisu. Always making a mess of things -arisu!"
"My Liege," Red smoothly inserted himself back into the conversation, "The Vice Admiral has yet to succumb to his injuries. With your permission, I wish to escort him to the medical bay to seek a method of treatment. Then we can be off to the Holy Land after our arrival to Sabaody."
The dunderhead frowned, obviously trying to think of something smart to say but failing to do so. He ended up nodded his head.
"Yes. Very well. I, Gaines, am a benevolent and understanding Saint. After you have tended to his wounds, I expect you to visit my suite. I shall bestow you the privilege of warming my bed. It is too bad you are a man and cannot become my wife. Nevertheless, you will make an excellent doll- no, you shall become my concubine." Without waiting for Red to agree - which he wouldn't, even at the face of death - he sauntered away with the Fishman and attendant in tow, leaving the dead guard behind like it wasn't his business.
The second they were out of view, Momonga collapsed into a heap on the floor, coughing out a mouthful of blood. Red kneeled at the marine's side, cataloging the gunshot wounds and frowning at two blood-filled holes situated on the right side of his chest. Two lung shots, if he wasn't mistaken. Thankfully, the rest of his wounds were all in a non-lethal place.
"Dapple."
"Boss."
"Head to our ship and set sail immediately."
"By your command." Rocinante crossed his uninjured arm over his chest and bowed at a 45-degree angle. He then retrieved their briefcase and exited the office with the swiftness and refinement of an experienced spy.
As soon as Rocinante left, he shouldered the Vice Admiral and strode towards the med-bay, ignoring the gasp and worried looks Momonga's crew were showcasing. After giving a brief summary of what had transpired in the office to the doctor in charge, he did not remain and left immediately. He half-heartedly prayed for his amusing client to make it out alive. Although he wanted to put more feelings into that prayer, Red simply couldn't muster up the sincerity at this point in time.
The second he was onboard his own ship - having to geppo to catch up - he ignored Rocinante (dispassionately noting that the younger man was capable enough to treat his own gunshot wound) and locked himself in his study to meditate. The moment he allowed the carefully crafted mask of Daemon Red to fade into the background of his mind, becoming Portgas D. Roux again, he felt a squeezing in his heart at having disregarded his injured PA with such dismissal.
He promised himself that he would cook all of Roci's favorite food tomorrow and treat him extra well as an apology. For now, he dived into the memories of when he was younger; just a boy playing with his twin sister, both of them unaware of the darkness of this world.
...
...
...
"- and that happened two years and three months ago. Until now, that neanderthal remains a constant and undesirable shadow. After he came upon the realization that I had lied to him - took him long enough - he followed me with his personal army of slaves and guards." He sighed, taking hold of his cup of matcha tea.
Of course, what he told her was the redacted version. All of the personal aspects had been removed to simply focus more on the Celestial Dragon's demeaning qualities.
Big Mom was silent, absorbing his story with an empty expression on her face. The two younger triplets shifted in their seats, unnerved by how unusual their mother was behaving. Katakuri had his eyes closed and arms crossed. Brûlée was still 'sleeping'. Roci's eyebrows were pinched, and if Roux could see his lower face, his lips would be a thin life of displeasure right now.
His dear PA hated to be reminded of that time - no matter how much Roux assured him that it wasn't his fault and that it was Roux who should be sorry for treating him badly. Besides, they couldn't have predicted the Noble's presence onboard the ship.
"His name is Gaines, you say?" Linlin asked as she grabbed a large amount of cake and stuffed them into her mouth, looking much like a demented hamster with her cheeks stuffed to its limits. Her voice and expression had returned to normal, though the icy look in her eyes betrayed her otherwise usual attitude. "How are you handling the pressure?"
"Mhm. To be blunt, Lin-sama, his harassment is affecting me mentally," with the temptation to cut all of his limbs and feed them to the sea kings as bait "I've only managed to be free of his shadow due to my destination and your reputation. We're only two people. As strong as Dapple-kun is, he's not a heavy hitter-" not entirely, anyway "-nor my bodyguard-" Roci's a spy, infiltrator, and sometimes assassin "-and it has always been a challenge to find someone stubborn and unbending enough to go against a Celestial Dragon, whilst also be powerful enough to protect me from unsavory pests." Like, maybe, your second eldest son?
"You should stay after the Tea Party. Uninvited guests will never disturb you here, Red, for as long as I rule Totto Land. Haaaahahamamamama~!"
"Lin-sama... I thank you for the offer but sailing the seas is..."
She rolled her eyes skyward as she continued to stuff herself silly, "Yeah yeah, I know. You won't agree since you're a child of the sea. You've already given me that excuse... So I'll do the best next thing to keep my first ever friend safe-"
"Mama-" Katakuri tried to insert himself here but was completely ignored by his mother.
"-by giving you my strongest son. Katakuri will accompany you as your bodyguard from now on. He's part of your crew now - though he's still my Sweet Commander and must be present for all the events I host in the future. That means you're attending too. Isn't that great, Red? We can see each other more often now! Then I'll finally be able to convince you to be my husband!"
He couldn't help it, he threw his head back and laughed, from both relief and fondness. It has been a long time since he actually allowed himself to let go and just... laugh. He was cackling so intensely that he was gasping for breath, tears of joy rolling down his cheeks. For minutes he cackled, joined by Big Mom as they both ignored the very freaked out workers and chefs.
He wiped the happy tears and threw a grin at Linlin, "So, your evil plan is to glue your son to me and have him drag my sorry arse over for every future event on the pretense of being worried about my health? How devious of you, Lin-sama! I approve!"
"Why thank you, kind sir. Haaahahamamamama~ " Linlin giggled.
"It should be I that give you my sincerest of gratitude, Lin-sama." He looked at Linlin indulgently, a soft and honest smile playing on his lips. "I couldn't have asked for a better friend. If you're that concerned, however, I won't push away your offer."
"Good. Take care of Katakuri, Red." Big Mom forked a piece of cake and placed it against his lips, "I'll give you a baby den den mushi that is connected to only mine."
He bit the cake and swiped his tongue over his lips, "Of course, Lin-sama. I know how much you love your family."
As she continued to baby him, his eyes strayed to Katakuri.
The second Charlotte son looked resigned, having already accepted his mother's not-so-subtle demand of obedience. If Roux was someone who had not expected this result, he would've pitied the pirate for being pawned off as a bodyguard. But since he was someone who manipulates for a living, he nonchalantly continued to chat merrily with Linlin whilst being fed desserts.
I love it when a plan comes together, he cackled in his mind.
When they (Roux and Roci) returned to their hotel suite, he went straight to his chosen bedroom, not even caring to take a shower. His hunger has been sated, and he felt too heavy to move another step.
Sighing slightly, he slumped into the bed and massaged his nape to relax the sore muscles. Talking to Linlin tended to strain one's neck, especially when one was average in height. At least he managed to get Katakuri as he had planned (it was Plan L, if anyone was wondering) - at the cost of nothing, too. Well, he did have to reveal that rather embarrassing story, but it was worth it.
With a satisfied grin, he closed his eyes and allowed sleep to take hold of his consciousness.
A/N:
Fuaaa! I apologize for the late update. Despite Uni being tiresome, I'm gonna be honest here; this was the result of me procrastinating. Yes, I admit it. My plot bunnies are somewhat stuck in the Naruto fandom right now, but I'll try my best to split them up so that they will all work in a more efficient manner compared to grouping together like unfocused simpletons.
Thank you for your support! Please let me hear your thoughts on this chapter!╰(▔∀▔)╯