A/N:
Just a bit of dumb fun.
Why the Lob-ball gets locked up.
It really shouldn't have happened; that much everyone could agree on. But just how it happened would forever live on as Optimus Prime's most infamous blunder.
The afternoon had been an unusually quiet one, mainly due to Bulkhead, Arcee and Bumblebee's absence on scouting missions. Deprived of their guardians and the assorted antics they could engage with together, the children had resigned themselves to finding entertainment in the raised human section of the base right across from where Ratchet was busy with his terminal.
The medic in question was eagerly inputting data from a recent relic the team had obtained, and an unusually excited anticipation radiated from every inch of his body from ped to crest.
"Jeeze, what's got Docbot so jittery?" Miko leaned up from their game with curiosity.
"Arcee said their last find was something big," Jack remarked, his eyes still on the screen since (unlike a certain exchange student) he hadn't been annihilated by Raf's skills like a rabbit against a lawnmower.
Yet.
" 'Big' is an understatement," Ratchet scoffed, his audio receptors evidently still as sharp as ever. "I doubt there is a word in any human language to express just what kind of game changer our find is- a genuine Conversion Array!" His mouth repeated the relic's name again under his breath like he was savouring the very sounds, "and it's charged no less- if I didn't know Primus was in stasis I'd be praising his name!"
Jack paused to look up at the medic, "sounds pretty cool," he assured him. "But… uh, what exactly is a Conversion Array?"
"A remnant of Cybertron's Golden Age," The children twisted to see Optimus Prime coming from the 'bots personal quarters with a calm smile on his face. "Long ago, our species ventured into the stars to seek new homes. Most worlds were poorly suited to mechanical life however, lacking natural Energon and host to a multitude of barriers- not the least of which was the lack of an Allspark to give rise to new life.
Faced with the challenge; our greatest scientific minds were inspired by the legendary Omega Lock to create devices capable of completely Cyberforming organic worlds with Conversion Beams." Optimus reminisced; "countless planets were made sister worlds to Cybertron in less than a vorn with devices like the Conversion Array- each capable of incubating both new Energon deposits and sparks from…." Optimus paused for a moment as he thought; "… seeds of the Allspark, small fragments taken from the whole on Cybertron that would grow into full, but lesser counterparts of the first residing within imitation wells upon the new worlds."
"Whoa," Miko gasped, "so like; they made whole planets into new Cybertrons?"
"That is what they were made for," Ratchet chuckled in downright uncharacteristic good humour. "Though the Conversion Array is a relatively primitive version of the technology, it's in working order- complete with a 'seed' of the Allspark!"
He finally abandoned his terminal outright and turn to face the humans with servos wide with his excitement; "why with it we could colonise a new world outright and its well would start sending new sparks to protoforms within the vorn!" His next words shook in a way the humans had never heard from him, "our species isn't damned to extinction- Optimus, the Autobots- frag it! Even Megatron and his band of psychopaths; we're not endlings anymore!"
"It's the brightest star of hope we have been blessed with since the fall of Iacon," Optimus' usual stoic rumble broke at the end with a soft wonder, "truly, Unicron's shell or not; finding the Earth has been an invaluable boon for our people…"
The Prime trailed off as his optics stared past the children, enamoured with the possibilities of new life that awaited his once-doomed people.
"That's great!" Miko chirped with all the sensitivity of a lead brick, "so like; when are we gonna see baby Transformers? Oh- do they have feet or wheels-"
"Oh, no, no, no," Ratchet chuckled, still in too good a mood to let Miko's 'Mikoness' get under his plating. "It is highly unlikely that any of you will be seeing any new Cybertronians within your lifetimes- the process of Cyberformation alone will likely exceed… well," The medic finally caught himself upon the morose reminder than the little lifeforms before him weren't built to last; "… perhaps if Rafael keeps to healthy living, he might see some of the first generation!"
He laid a plastered-on smile across his faceplates.
The humans seemed less than enthused however;
"Whatever," Miko slumped down with folded arms and huffed. "So, we don't get to see any baby bots- do we at least get to see which planet's getting turned into New Cybertron?"
"Uh, yeah- it is going someplace close?" Jack pushed on, eager to push past the awkward atmosphere.
"I am afraid that is it is unlikely we will have a new world to call home any time soon." Optimus' rare glimmer of open optimism faded as he spoke, returning to his usual stoicism. "As we lack both the means of ready interstellar transport and of locating a new suitable planet, one that would need to be safely hidden and secured from the flames of Megatron's mad ambition lest the New Cybertron join the old's fate."
The dour note dimmed the bright hope that had burned between the two mechs and the children wilted under the pressing weight.
Miko, being Miko Nakadai, wasn't one to let simple things like basic reason or manners get in the way of a good time, and (as she was wont to do) promptly opened her mouth with the first thing that came to her mind;
"Hey, why don't you just use part of this one!?" She exclaimed; "like, if the Array can be set to just a bit or a planet then maybe you could stay on Antarctica or the Sahara or someplace else that nobody lives!"
Ratchet vented; "clearly you didn't listen- of course;" he drew in some more atmosphere to emphasise his next words; "our new home must be hidden from Megatron- if a continent or some other massive portion of the Earth's surface suddenly turns into Cybermatter he might just notice."
"Even leaving aside Megatron as a factor, we must also consider that there is no part of this world that has not been claimed by a human state," Optimus calmly intervened. "Even the environmentally extreme locations you suggest have multiple potential owners- and as you might recall; even our frames are affected by the heat and cold.
No, our new home must be far from this world; otherwise, we risk inviting conflict to the New Cybertron before it is even created."
"Aww…," Miko moped again, "so we can't even see it?" She huffed and folded her arms once more, "… earth-bots would've been awesome…"
"Actually," Raf spoke up, an inquisitive look in his eyes. "I've been thinking, what would happen if the Conversion Array was used on Earth? From the way you make things sound, doesn't it basically- um…" he swallowed, "replace everything? What would happen if there was already life there?"
Ratchet's digits paused for a moment, and Optimus vented; "your insight is as sharp as always Rafael. I'm afraid that even in our Golden Age, organic life was considered lesser if it was considered at all.
Wherever the Conversion Beams were used, the native organisms were either converted or destroyed entirely- and there were few who would have acted to preserve them as they were."
It was a sobering moment for most of the silo's inhabitants. Though the Autobots had often spoken of their home and nigh-mythical 'golden age' in awed tones, the darker elements that would one day give rise to the oppressive caste system had been present even then; and the archivist Orion Pax had had all too much insight into the casual distaste of organic life, as well as the approval of its removal from 'their worlds', that the society of that time had held.
Miko, of course, promptly found a more 'interesting' interpretation of Optimus' words than merely the implications of intentional organic genocide;
"So, what; we'd all be turned into Transformers?" Her eyes sparkled; "because that would be totally awesome!" She jumped up upon the couch and started miming aimed blasters, "I bet I'd be a- "
"Collection of disparate particles," Ratchet pointedly rebuked, "while some microscopic lifeforms were occasionally converted into Cybermatter equivalents by the Cyberforming process; there has never been a successful conversion of a multi-cellular lifeform into a Cybertronian." The medic emphasised the proper description of his species, not Miko's nickname. "There are multiple reasons why- most of which you'd need a proper education to understand- but first and foremost is that complex Cybertronian life requires some kind of spark, no matter how minor- and the conversion process simply doesn't provide one.
You wouldn't be a 'Transformer', you and your entire species would be sand and scrap." Ratchet finally finished with a huff, and pointedly returned to his terminal.
Miko, being Miko, just pouted at him for having so comprehensively burst her bubble and dropped down into a sulk. "I bet I'd be the best wrecker fembot ever."
Ratchet actually laughed at that, and Miko gave him a glance with an odd mixture of offense and curiosity.
Before Miko could jump on that mine however, Jack promptly intervened; "uh, wow, good thing the Array never activated here- right!?" He gave off an obviously false chuckle.
"Indeed," Optimus rumbled; "not only would we have never met you or any of our other human friends- but the ramifications of Unicron's shell becoming akin to Primus' are too dire to contemplate."
"Yeah…" Rafael mused. "If all it took were some trace elements to make those avatars he fought with, just imagine if the entire world was made of Cybermatter. Everything would be under his control.""
"Whoa…." Miko's eyes sparkled with a new idea, "like, would Earth be a giant transformer!?"
"It's… a plausible theory," Ratchet would've shuddered if he were human- both at the thought of Unicron regaining his physical form and at validating Miko Nakadai's speculations. "There are some interpretations of the covenant that explicitly state that Cybertron itself is simply Primus' alternative mode, so it's hardly unprecedented."
"And if that were the case, the formation of new well would have surely awoken The Chaos-Bringer well before the prophesised time," Optimus grimly determined. "Unless Primus chose to bestow the Matrix of Leadership at that time, then surely the hubris of his children would have been their downfall, along with however many others it would take to sate Unicron's hunger."
…
"… But it's safe now, right?" Jack offered up. "No chance of world-reformattings or dead gods waking up any time soon, right?"
Optimus slowly nodded, "indeed Jackson, the Conversion Array remains safe and secured within this base and nothing short of a disaster could bring it online."
Satisfied with his own certainty, the massive mech left the conversation there and calmly strode towards Ratchet, with an overview of the day's events in mind.
Alas, while with size comes strength and sturdiness that smaller mechs and femmes might envy; it can also create blindspots that a smaller mech might not consider. For example;
Bulkhead and Bumblebee having dropped their lob-ball in the nearest convenient spot upon being told to go on patrol.
The ball in question was a massive (by human standards) rolled up 'orb' of scrap metal, but having been both shoved to the floor closest to the human section and partially obscured by Ratchet's various boxes of equipment- it was easily missed by Optimus' optics.
The same could not be said of his ped.
KLANG
The sound of the metals meeting rang through the silo, and the other inhabits turned to watch in shock as Optimus Prime was caught off guard by his sudden lack of balance and dropped to his side- his left arm flailing out on basic programming to catch himself on the nearest possible servo-hold-
Squelch
Which in this case happened to be the human section.
Optimus froze as he stabilised, optics uncharacteristically wide in shock as he slowly peered up to his old friend. Ratchet stood there with an open intake, silent in horror as his own optics darted between Optimus and the human section.
"The human children are in as much danger here as anywhere. They have no protective shell!
If they get underfoot, they will go….
Squish."
Ratchet's words from when the children had first arrived echoed through the Prime's processor as he dared to raise his optics to his dreadfully damp servo.
As he feared, it was not a sensor error.
The surrounding area was splattered with gore and the remains of shattered appliances, exploding out like one of Miko's 'starbursts' from underneath his appendage.
His digits were splayed out, the span of his servo easily covering over half the platform. The top half of the servo was the usual black, but what underside that was visible was stained red and he could feel some thicker yet still liquid substances working their way into every joint and groove between the plating.
"Optimus…" Ratchet finally whispered.
Seemingly on its own, his servo lifted to reveal the full extent of the horror;
The mass of red and ruined meat intermixed with the remains of the appliances concentrated in the upper left. Young Rafael was indistinguishable save for the stained vest- but Jack and Miko had evidently somehow managed to get just enough into the safe space between his digits to be recognisable.
At least, their upper halves.
Jack looked up at Optimus with confusion, lying on his back like Miko beside him. The remains of his pressure severed stump of a right arm twitched towards Raf, apparently not having registered that the rest of it had been lost with the friend he'd tried to drag with him.
He blinked twice and opened his mouth, but nothing came out- probably because the lower half of his torso had gone the way of his arm- and thus already forcibly depressurised his lungs by impact. He hung on a moment longer- then his eyes rolled back in their sockets and his head dropped back with a light thunk into blissful nothingness.
Miko was in a better state- though in this case that merely meant she'd last a little longer than Jack. Jack's right arm was loosely around her, as her left was on his shoulder- but her pelvis and everything below it were mush. Evidently, she felt no pain- certainly due to shock- and unsteadily propped up her torso on her elbows to take a better look.
She blinked as more of her blood ran out into the mess, took another look at what remained of Jack and Rafael. Then turned her face up at Optimus and the bloody servo awkwardly hovering above her.
"… Dude," she sounded more disappointed than anything else. "Really?"
"… And that's when you decided to use this 'Conversion Array'?" One very upset June Darby asked through clenched teeth.
"Well, it wasn't like we had anything to lose," Ratchet chuckled. "A silo's worth of Cybermatter was hardly going to drain the device- and look; it worked!"
The Medic threw his arms towards where the three now former humans stood somewhat awkwardly in the middle of the cyberformed silo interior - their guardians still examining them with a mixture of amazement and concern. June stood close to her car in the entrance however, still too unsettled by the situation to look upon her too-large son for too long.
That and the 'human section' had been melted down by the conversion process for mass by the new Cybertronian bodies and June Darby wasn't going to risk getting any closer to any giant feet than she had to.
The Autobots had had enough new recruits for one day thank you very much.
"No- it better than worked!" Ratchet doubled down, excitement entering his voice, "It made them like us!
I didn't think it was possible! No one thought it was possible- Rafael's brain matter wasn't even intact but somehow- oh if only the proper science institutions were still functional they'd- "
"Old friend," Optimus quietly called to him with uncharacteristic meekness, still having wincing from the verbal castration he'd already suffered from one of the last human friends they had.
Ratchet however was still off and far away with optics filled with wonder, "- no other multi-cellular lifeform has ever even come close to true conversion- could it be Unicron's influence? The Chaos bringer called them parasites but they do uncannily parallel protoforms in more ways than could possibly be a coincidence- an unconscious impression upon their evolutionary pattern perhaps- "
"Ratchet?" Arcee called to the medic next, her optics fixed upon June's steadily darkening features. "You really need to- "
"- yes, yes! That must be it!" Ratchet declared out loud. "Their overall form and genetics must be compatible enough for The Array to translate into code and frame counterparts- but Primus bless them they even have true sparks- perhaps some coalescence from their nervous systems combined with-"
"I'm happy for you."
"Indeed, this is- wait," Ratchet blinked as his processor caught up to the quiet statement from June Darby. His rambling datastream went to the back of his processor as he turned to take in the organic's words. "Could you repeat that, Nurse Darby?'
"I'm happy for you," June's words were pleasant, but her tone was as cold as the artic. "I'm happy that you've managed to find such an upside to the manslaughter of children. Really, when I came here expecting to have to bring my only son and his friends home in buckets- nevermind working out how to tell Miko and Raf's families- it was your scientific curiosity that really concerned me."
"Oh, ah…" It was only then that Ratchet was reminded that indeed, the children had actually died in their care- even if a miracle of science had brought them back. "To be fair; countless species have tried this and failed for eons… ahm... we could offer you-"
June silenced him with a raised palm and turned her baleful gaze to the Prime;
"So, just to make sure I understand this all correctly," she drew in a patient breath. "You; Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots for literally longer than humanity has existed and up until this point seemingly responsible adult-"
"It was an accident Ms D-"
"Be quiet Miko, the adults are talking," June's serious face cowed the now considerably taller Miko Nakadai as easily as when she'd been five feet and change. The woman returned her angry gaze to the mollified Optimus; "you, Optimus Prime, you tried to quote unqoute 'babysit' the children on your own- something I would have agreed to mind you since after the literal millennia of leadership you seemed like a capable individual- and in the process, you squashed all three of them.
Because you tripped over a ball!?"
"... Humans can be very difficult to see from this height," the embarrassed leader admitted, his optics not quite meeting June's eyes even as he pointedly kept his servos folded behind him. "I assure you that the lob-ball will be locked up immediately after use from now on."
"Oh, great!" Jack groused. The usual respect the boy had towards Optimus seemed to have taken a backseat to his peevishness at the situation. "At least our deaths mean that Bumblebee and Bulkhead will actually pick up after themselves now."
Bumblebee issued an embarrassed, apologetic beep and Bulkhead had the decency to look shamefaced- even if Miko didn't necessarily seem to agree with Jack's displeasure of their new forms as indicated by the lack of blue straining her digits as compared Jack's after he'd momentarily dug into himself for any trace of red.
"Oh pish paw, I don't understand why you're complaining," Ratchet rolled his optics. "It's not like this isn't an upgrade for you"
"Ratchet," June fumed at the medic.
"Granted they'll be required to take part in our war due to being permanent targets of the Decepticons, but they've been part of it since Soundwave imaged them anyway." Ratchet mused, "and really; is permanent separation from human society truly a detriment to them?"
The medic failed to notice the Nurse's fingers twitching over a certain bulge in her coat, nor her features darkening once more.
"Granted they could possibly be targets for dissection if the human government turns on us," Ratchet continued. "But let's be honest; Miko alone was going to get herself killed sooner or later and likely the other two with her!
It was a blessing from the Allspark itself that this only happened after we found the Conversion Array!"
"Ratchet..."
"By Primus, it's amazing it hadn't happened sooner!" The medic mused. "Do you know how many near-deaths they went through before now? I lost count and I- as Miko so frequently noted- am a literal computer! It's like they had some kind of metaphysical armour tipping the scales of chance just enough for them to get out of their scrapes relatively unharmed!"
"Er, Ratchet?" Rafael, still the smallest of the new Cybertronian trio at ten feet tall waved for his attention.
"Well, until now anyway," Ratchet amended before turning to look at his new teammates, "yes Rafael- oh, have you chosen a new name already?"
Rafael shook his head "Uh, no that's-"
"Because really you should all get started on that as soon as possible, human names are just ridiculous," The medic chuckled. "They're simply noise at best and at worst..." he let out a quick laugh; "well, they can mean very unusual things in Cybertronian."
Jack silently raised a newly metal arm and pointedly indicated to his mother with a single digit.
Ratchet followed the digit and found a very red June Darby aiming one of Agent Fowler's new MECH-derived firearms at some of his more sensitive spots.
"Ah…" Ratchet's optics flickered over to the other Cybertronians, who were visibly backing away, before returning to the nurse; "June, I think I may have misunderstood your position on this matter. I apologise."
June paused for a moment, then slowly lowered the gun- perhaps recalling for a moment her oath to heal and never harm. The sheer absurdity of the situation- everything from the children's death and revival to the fact she was waving around a gun of all things- suddenly struck her, and she let out a bark of a laugh, "… I'm sorry Ratchet, this has all been- "
"We can activate the Array whenever you're ready," Ratchet calmly offered. "I've needed an assistant for too long anyway."
Considering that Optimus was the one who actually squished her son; the resulting loss of metal was quite frankly uncalled for in his opinion.