This is the final installment in this series. I do have several random chapters yet to share, including some requests. I'm not sure in what order I will post them, so be prepared to have them flung at you every which way.

The Truth Will Find Its Way

It was nearly Liam's turn. Jay reached over and took my hand in his. We had been through so much. His PTSD and grueling work schedule. My lies about my family and my past. There were times I thought we'd never make it this far—at least not together. That everything would fall apart around me. That nothing this good was real.

"Naomi Elizabeth Haller," the voice rang out. Applause followed. Then, finally—"Liam James Halstead." Liam strolled across the stage, took his diploma, shook the hand of the faculty member, flipped his tassel to the other side, smiled in our direction, pumped his fist and finished the walk it had taken him four years to accomplish. Jay gripped my hand tighter and I put my head on his shoulder, so grateful for him and his understanding all those years ago, when my secrets finally came out.

Thinking back to Jay's terrifying PTSD episode when Liam was young and realized how hard he had worked to put his demons behind him. To move forward on a better foot, not perfect as one can't just simply wish trauma away, but a worthy effort that left us all the better for it. But I had my own flaws as well, and lying by omission was my biggest one. And it finally came to roost the day that Liam had decided to skip school. I was at work, deep in a project when the school called. I was afraid Liam was sick and would have to be picked up. I was already trying to figure out if he could stay alone or not when I was told that he had never showed up. His homeroom teacher had stated he wasn't accounted for and asked me if he was at home sick or at an appointment.

Jay had dropped him off on the way to work, maybe something happened and he taken Liam to work with him. That was probably it, but my hands were shaking as I found Jay's number and hit the button. I prayed he would answer, and on the third ring he did.

"Of course I dropped him off. It was even in the drop-off line where the email stated." He replied when I asked him about the morning.

"Did you see him go in?"

"You can't. You have to pull away as soon as the kid clears the vehicle. He probably just got overlooked. It happens sometimes. I'll call the school, hang tight."

I hung on as long as I could but texted Jay twice in the fifteen minutes he kept me waiting. I could barely answer the phone when his face appeared on the screen. "Is he there? Is he okay?"

"I had them double-check and he isn't there. But then we discovered Tommy wasn't there either so we figured that they skipped together." Jay said speaking of Liam's buddy.

"But, I feel a but coming on here."

"But, Tommy is home sick and his mother just forgot to call him in. He's been throwing up since midnight."

"So where is Liam?" I practically shriek.

"He's probably just skipping school," Jay tells me. "Relax, don't kids skip school in Ireland? It's kind of a rite of passage here. I did it, Will did it."

"But who is he with?"

"He has other friends. Or maybe he was supposed to do it with Tommy, obviously that didn't work out, but Liam didn't find out until it was too late."

"The tracking app," I say, suddenly excited.

"I checked it. His phone is off."

"Jay, I'm terrified."

"I'll admit that I'm not happy, and he's going to find out just how unhappy I am, but terrified seems a little dramatic."

"You don't understand Jay." I tell him, my voice barely above a whisper.

"What don't I understand?" Jay asked, his voice sounding distant.

And that's when I froze. I could hear Jay repeating the question, but I couldn't speak, all I could see was Liam being dragged off by one of my relatives, never to be seen again. He was only twelve and didn't understand so much of the world. He was still trusting and had an innocence to him. Would he have trusted a stranger, especially one with an Irish accent just like his mothers? I had only told Jay that my family and I didn't get along due to their behavior and business practices. But I had painted them to be unethical, not violent. He had no idea of the reality—I had never told him. But clearly I had no choice now.

I met Jay at the district and told him everything. Hank Voight sat in on some of it and had though he echoed Jay's sentiments that it was more likely that Liam was AWOL on his own accord, he'd make a few calls and get Liam's picture out to patrol just in case.

"How could you not tell me," Jay asked as his face turned into a mask of intensity, one I hadn't seen before and it scared me.

"Because I was afraid if I told you, if I told you the whole truth—that I wouldn't be worth it—that you wouldn't want me anymore."

"What? No. I just needed to know."

"I almost left—years ago, when Liam was five, it would have been better for you."

"How would running away with Liam been any safer?"

"I would have left him with you. My family would never have known of your existence. But with all this time, maybe they have tracked me down and took Liam."

Jay takes a minute to catch up with what I had just revealed. "You would have just left without an explanation? Abandoned us? You have that little trust in me?"

"It was the better choice for you, because now look where we are. If anything happens to Liam—" I say, but tears prevent me from finishing.

"He's a smart kid. I've talked to him about what to do if anyone ever tried to take him. He would know how to alert someone."

But I could tell Jay was much more concerned about our son's well-being now that he knows the truth and all the possible complications it brought along with it. I could tell he wanted to believe the words he had just spoken, but there was no strength behind them.

"Or get away? Maybe he was able to get away and he's hiding right now." I say at this sudden revelation, grasping at any hope.

"I still think he is just skipping school. But I do admit this new information has me more preoccupied. We'll find him, he'll be home. I'm sure of it. Besides, if your family was really looking for you, don't you think they would have found you a long time ago?" Jay says, finding a second wind of optimism.

I shrugged and wiped my eyes with a tissue from my purse. "Maybe something recently alerted them."

"Like what? Has anything strange happened? Random visitor, phone call?"

"No, not that I can think of. I've always been careful." I tell him, suddenly realizing just how exhausting it all had been.

"Which does explain why you're never in any pictures and have no social media. At least that makes sense to me now."

"Jay, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

He looked at me, I wasn't sure what his face was telling me. Clearly he felt betrayed and I couldn't blame him. He cleared his throat and looked down. "Right. Go home and wait for him there. I'll work it from this end."

And then he turned and walked away. Me being at home made sense, but I also felt as if Jay didn't want to be near me. What I did, by keeping my secret had hurt him deeply. He was right, I should have told him before we moved in together when Liam was younger. He was a pawn in a game he wasn't even aware he was involved in and it hadn't been fair.

I should have done better. I knew exactly what it was like to be in a war that you had no desire to participate in. But at least I knew the battle had existed. Jay had potentially been walking in a minefield every day since he had met me and had no idea. But I had been born wrapped in secrets and had always held them tightly, never understanding that there was a trust this worthy.

I sat at home, noticing that Jay didn't reach out to me once. I knew of course if there was any update on Liam he would have contacted me immediately, but his silence was more painful than I could have imagined, as I sat alone, scared for my son's safety as well as the future of my marriage. I would have sacrificed everything just to know that Liam was safe. I had so many good years as a wife and mother, that if I was forced to leave it all behind now, I would have few regrets.

But without warning a sob escaped as the ramifications of the day and all the exposed secrets rose up, unable to be contained. My world, our world, because of me, had tipped off it's axis and even if we tried, it would never sit as it had before. How would I have felt if Jay had told me a dark remnant of his past that could have affected me but he had kept bottled up with excuses that it was better that way? Because that's all it was, an excuse. For years I had used the excuse that it would be better if he didn't know, because I was afraid of his response, never giving him the chance to have one. Never giving him the chance to make his own choice, and to put him in harms way simply because he had no idea of the danger. What the hell had I been thinking? I didn't deserve to stay. I didn't deserve to have Jay and Liam in my life. What had I done to this family?

As I wrestled with all my questionable decisions late into the afternoon, feeling as if my life was crumbling away minute by minute, Jay came home with Liam. He had found him walking home, discovering that, as originally thought, he had merely skipped school. He admitted to it after Jay had given him one warning glare not to push his luck. It had been a spur of the moment decision with a friend and they spent the day roaming around the city and forgetting about the troubles of life. I only wish at that moment I could have done the same.

With Liam safely in his room, it left Jay and I alone wondering what was next.

"I need to go back to work. Most of my day was tied up with trying to find our son." He stated, looking past me.

"I'm so grateful that he is okay. I'm sorry you had to find out this way, but at least now you know."

"Yeah, at least I do—how many years later Emma? Or is that even your real name?" He asked now, looking right at me, his eyes wide, his face tense.

"It is. I used a fake one for my documents, told you I went by Emma because it was my middle name but it's actually my first name. Having you call me anything but my real name didn't feel right. And Halstead is my last name now, now and forever."

"I've got to go," he said as his hand went over his face. "I'm not sure when I'll be home."

"Wait. What should I tell Liam?"

"I'm sure you'll come up with a good story. You seem to be good at it." And with that he left.

I couldn't sleep that night, I knew I wouldn't. I had told Liam, Jay had a big case, but I knew he was suspicious. He could feel something wasn't right between the two of us, but thankfully he let it go.

It was well after midnight when I heard Jay come in and slip into bed next to me. I feigned sleep but once he was settled I looked to see that his back was to me.

The next morning I woke up early, only to find the bed empty. I went downstairs to find Jay finishing his coffee and preparing to leave. "Leaving already?"

"Big case. Lots to catch up on. Not sure when I'll be home tonight."

"Jay, we need to talk about this."

"About all the lies you mean? About how everything the last thirteen years has been a lie?"

"It hasn't all been a lie. I was afraid Jay and then there was never a good time to bring it up. I didn't want to lose you."

"You were prepared to abandon me and Liam or say nothing, but you couldn't seem to do the one right thing."

"What? Tell you the truth from the beginning? Easy for you to say now. You don't know how hard it was to keep the secret and how hard it was to tell you the truth. Don't you dare make me feel bad for loving you too much," I yelled and stomped back up the stairs. I just couldn't keep my emotions bottled up anymore. I knew I had a lot of responsibility for this mess, but at the same time I had been in a very difficult situation with no easy answers. I had grown up surrounded by the need to keep secrets, it was second nature—it was a survival instinct. It always seemed to be the right thing to do in order to endure.

It was a tense few evenings. I was afraid he might not come home or that maybe I should tell him that I would leave for a time. But I couldn't leave Liam, so we just didn't talk for several days. Jay was grappling with what I had hidden for years. He had a right to be upset, but I didn't feel as if it was fair that I was the bad guy. I did the best I could and it wasn't easy, not any of it. That Friday night Liam and I were finishing dinner, alone, when Will knocked on the door and said he was there to grab his favorite nephew for the weekend. Liam threw some clothes in a bag and was out the door in ten minutes, leaving me alone with my thoughts and shortcomings. But I only sat for a few minutes before I heard the front door open and believing Liam had left something behind I turned and was surprised to see Jay standing there.

"Will just took Liam for the weekend," I said as I walked back to the kitchen. I began to scrub a pot in the sink when I felt hands come around my waist.

"I know. I asked him to. I thought we needed the weekend to ourselves."

"You do?" I asked turning towards him as he backed away. "Please tell me, we'll be okay," I said, tears already winding their way down my cheeks.

"We'll be okay, but I need to know everything, and you need to tell me everything. I have resources that can help put your mind at ease, and right now, my mind isn't at ease. It just hurts that you didn't trust me."

"I guess I never looked at it that way. I was just afraid that—well I was just afraid. Who needs baggage. I mean you came back from a war and I couldn't dump more on you. Then we weren't really together, and then we were and I just couldn't bring myself to risk a future that I had dreamed about."

"What you dreamed about?"

"Yes, you—the man of my dreams since I first saw you. I never believed in love at first sight, but you felt so right. And then Liam—he was meant to be. But it all seemed so tenuous and I just couldn't let my family take it all away from me, like they had taken everything else from me so I had to decide—run or stay. I chose to stay, but it had strings and they nearly choked me at times, but I don't regret being with you—watching you with our son. However, I do understand if you want to take a break and try to absorb everything you just learned about me."

Jay had stepped back and looked over my shoulder. I could tell he was weighing his emotions and our circumstances. I couldn't blame him if he needed a break. I had dumped a lifetime of dysfunction and lies on him and couldn't expect him to just swallow it and move on as if it were no big deal.

"I had a friend do a social media scrub." He said as his gaze focused back on me.

"What's that?"

"Looking for your name or likeness on any social media offerings."

"But I'm not on any."

"No, but it surrounds you. Liam's friends and their parents are on it, you get caught in a photo you have no idea was taken. You're tagged in something with the assumption you have an account."

"But they wouldn't recognize my name now."

"They shouldn't."

"Did you find anything?"

"There were a few shots where you were in the background. One was a baseball game and the other some school event. But you were hard to make out. I doubt anyone who wasn't scrutinizing the picture would have any idea it was you."

"Oh."

"The pictures were deleted. They were both over a year old. The owner won't likely notice. You had a ball cap on in one, the other, well your hair was what caught our eye."

"I've thought about changing the color. But that's why I wear a hat at big events so it doesn't stand out."

"Don't change your hair," Jay said with a small smile. He has always loved my hair.

"So what do we do now?"

"I don't know," he said looking away.

"That night—the night when Liam was five and you brought him home late and I told you I was going on a trip and you would have Liam full time—do you remember that night?" I ramble.

"I do."

"We made love."

"We did."

"It was never just sex with you, to me it was always making love. Even our first time. That night was going to be the last time—a final goodbye. I was going to leave and never come back. But days later I could still feel you, smell you, sense your presence, and I knew then that I couldn't let go. Couldn't pretend that I would survive being separated. I simply wasn't strong enough. Was it the right decision or the wrong one? Selfish or unselfish? I just couldn't break our connection and God knows I tried."

"I know you did. You would pull me close and then push me away. That night I told myself not to fall for it again, to just leave and not go to bed with you. But you could see how well my resolve held up. If you had left, just disappeared, I'm not sure how I would have made it. I've needed you, Liam has needed you."

"You would have figured it out."

"My PTSD, the work schedule and stress."

"Jay, you would have figured it out. You are an amazing man and an even better father. I've always loved you, and I'm sorry I didn't trust you enough to tell you about my past. But I did trust you enough to believe that everything would be okay, because you were in my life. That my life wasn't worth much without you and Liam in it.

"Are we going to be okay?" I ask again.

Jay was contemplative and quiet for a moment as my heart picked up speed fearing he had changed his mind. "We will, because we love each other, because we are committed to making our lives work. Because we have this amazing son that we share. Because despite everything around us, we are always at its center—together."