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Little Toy Bikers and a Woman on the Run

Chapter 209 Defective Confession

Scarlett had gone to sleep early. Jax suspected that was partly to escape any further relationship discussions and partly to escape the pain that had worsened when she pushed her body to its limits to get help to Tristen.

Over the last couple of years, he'd gotten lazy. Most of the girls he was with were crow-eaters. Other than Scarlett, he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen a girl and pursued her.

That was what a lot of girls didn't get. If they didn't value themselves, guys wouldn't either. A guy wanted to feel like the girl was a prize worth winning and not someone who gave herself to every guy. That was why a crow-eater rarely made it to old lady. Wendy had been one of the few exceptions.

Scarlett's refusal to have sex with him, just made him more determined to pursue her. As he got to know her, he wanted to spend more time with her because he enjoyed her company. It wasn't all about sex.

He woke up and noticed that Scarlett wasn't in bed. She wasn't in the bathroom. He got up to look for her. After having to rescue her from the bathtub, he needed to make sure that she was OK and not collapsed on the floor somewhere unable to get up.

He found her sitting in the darkness at the breakfast bar looking out at the water, the room lit only by two lights on the patio.

"Are you OK?"

"I'm just waiting for the second round of pain medication to kick in."

Jax took a seat at the breakfast bar next to Scarlett.

"I wanted to make sure that you hadn't had an accident and needed help."

"As long as I stay out of the bathtub, I should be OK. I made hot chocolate. It's in the fridge if you want some."

"It's nice watching the sun rise over the water."

Scarlett nodded and drank some hot chocolate. She stared into her cup avoiding looking at Jax.

"I was thinking about our conversation earlier. I'm not sure I got it right, but it sounded to me like you want me to fall in love with you."

That was definitely a unique way to phrase that question. He wondered how long it had taken her to think it up.

"You got it right."

"Why?"

"Falling in love works out best if two people are doing it together."

Scarlett still avoided looking at Jax. She finished her hot chocolate and put the mug down on the bar.

"It seems like I'm always talking about my ex. That experience left some deep scars. It was more than four years ago, but I'm not healed. After I discovered the truth about my ex, I had to pretend that I didn't care. That meant I still had to sleep with him. I didn't want to arouse his suspicions.

"His touch, everything about him was repulsive. I thought that once I was free of him, I could go back to who I was before, but I was too naïve. I made myself go out on dates here and there. When guys would try to hold my hand or kiss me, all the revulsion came back."

"Sometimes it takes awhile to heal."

"That wasn't it," Scarlett bit her lip and looked down at her hands. "I felt defective. I never got healed. That revulsion never left."

Scarlett's words hit him like a punch to the gut. She must be one hell of an actress because he thought she enjoyed their romantic moments. He thought back and couldn't recall any clues that she wasn't feeling some attraction to him.

"Do you feel that way with me?"

Scarlett shook her head slowly, her eyes still fixed on her hands.

"You're the first guy I've let touch me in more than four years. You're the first guy that doesn't make my skin crawl," Scarlett whispered her confession so softly Jax could barely hear her.

Her words caught at his heart. He suspected that he was falling in love with her, but after her confession he knew he was in love with her. He wanted to protect her, cherish her and keep her safe. Damn, he must be losing his mind in addition to his heart. He could even see them getting married.

"I'm sorry for what that bastard put you through."

"I'm OK. I think I'm going to get some sleep now."

They both stood up. Scarlett walked up to the patio doors and stared out the windows watching the sun rise painting the water red and orange.

Jax walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. They stood there for a moment watching the sun bring the day to life.

"I've felt numb inside for so long I've grown to like it. It feels good to feel nothing. I don't know if I want to have feelings."

Jax tightened his arms around Scarlett and kissed the side of her head.

"You can't control whether or not you fall in love."

Scarlett turned to face him.

"You sound like my father."

"I'm a big fan of your dad."

"You scare the hell out of me. I don't know if I'm brave enough to have feelings. Numbness is safer."

"You see feelings as something bad. Feelings can be good."

"I might be too damaged inside. I might not ever be able to have feelings for you or anyone else."

Despite Scarlett's words, Jax knew that she was falling in love with him. That was why she was so afraid.

"I won't push you. We'll figure this out together."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm a biker. I'm tough," Jax said flexing the muscles on his arms.

She laughed.

Later that night just as Jax was about to close his eyes to sleep, he realized that when Scarlett said he was the first man that she had let touch her in more than four years, that meant that she hadn't had sex in four years.

Scarlett was in desperate need of some Jax Teller sex magic.

Future Predictions Within a couple of chapters, Jax is going to find Scarlett in bed with another man. Was she playing him or will she be able to fast talk her way out of it? Or is this part of her plan to back him off?