Chapter 13: The Haunted
Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion. It belongs to Hideaki Anno, Gainax, and Tatsunoko Productions. I only own the characters I made up.
"I'm sorry. Could you repeat that?" I ask, not quite believing the words coming out of Ritsuko's mouth.
The faux blond woman smiles in response. Despite her messy hair and the bags under her eyes, she's full of energy. It's as if her discovery alone is enough to fuel her. "I said, we've found a way for you to return home."
A tugging feeling pulls at the inside of my throat, preventing me from forming coherent words. My grip on my chair's handles tighten in order for me to remain upright. I close my eyes for a moment, breathe in through my nose then exhale through my mouth. After breathing for a few rounds, I managed to calm myself down. It still feels like caffeine has been injected directly into my veins, but I'm fine nonetheless.
A smile molds onto my lips as I dare to hope. "Are. . .Are you sure?"
A short laugh escapes the doctor's lips as she gets out of her chair, stepping away from her desk. "Perhaps it would be easier to show you instead of simply telling you." The woman urges me to follow her as she exits the office. I dumbly walk after the woman as I attempt to clear my mind.
It's been an hour since Ritsuko invited me to the Geofront. The woman called Misato ten at night, raving about some important discovery, and that I need to get to HQ as soon as possible. To say that the Major was unhappy is an understatement. Anyway, a tired Misato had to drive me to Nerv while questioning why she's friends with Ritsuko. The woman dropped me off then flat out fell asleep in the car (which was pretty funny). When I finally talked to Ritsuko, she spent the majority of our time talking about the science behind her discovery. In hindsight, she probably did that to ease me into the reveal that she found a way for me to get home.
Still, never in a hundred years did I expect to have the possibility of returning home. The very thought causes my heart to beat a million times a minute. It's almost too good to be true!
The sound of machines running and orders being thrown about brings me back to the present. Ritsuko has led me to a large lab, filled to the brim with people in lab coats. Just by looking at their faces one can tell they haven't slept in quite a while. Yet, despite their tired demeanor, the entire place is lively. There's people running around inspecting computers or some other important looking devices. Others walk while balancing so many stacks of paper that it seems almost comedic. So much is going on, yet everyone seems like they couldn't imagine being anywhere but here.
Ritsuko leads me to an employee working on a particularly large computer. Just looking at the screen makes my head hurt, for I can't understand anything on it. And no, it's not because what's written on the screen is in Japanese, I can read that just fine now. I meant that the amount of foreign symbols and equations on the screen made it seem like a completely alien language.
The employee in question turns out to be Maya. When she notices Ritsuko's presence her eyes brighten up, as if the doctor's presence alone was enough to keep the brunette energized.
"Doctor Akagi!" Maya piped up. "All the files have been set up, just as you ordered."
"Good," the doctor responds, patting Maya on the shoulder. "Bring up the surveillance footage."
The brunette nods as she types a few keywords into the large computer. This action brings up some footage of a city street with a crater in the middle of it. Surrounding the crater is some yellow tape, as well as some people with guns (just in case the yellow tape wasn't a big enough hint to stay away). Inside the fenced off area were people wearing Nerv uniforms. These people were either working on laptops, setting up machinery, or scanning the area with something which looks similar to a Geiger counter.
Recognition soon dawns on me. "That's. . . that's where Shinji fought the third Angel."
"It's also where we found you," Ritsuko adds. "We've been surveying this area for a long while now. We've even closed down this street so civilians couldn't contaminate the area. That street is a popular route, so you can imagine the complaints we got."
That actually causes me to laugh. The doctor continues. "Remember when I told you we've found slight 'radiation' coming from not only you, but the place you were found?" I nod. "Well, we've been studying the radiation, trying to find its exact source. You see, with how faint this energy is, it should have dissipated a long time ago. Yet, we're still detecting it. The only explanation is that something's supplying the area with this energy."
I gave Ritsuko a look which clearly demanded for her to get to the point. In response to my nonverbal command, she told Maya to show what the street looks like outside the visible light spectrum. Maya typed away and the footage changed. Everything became devoid of color, as if the whole world turned into glass. The only color in the area was this purple mist which I assumed was the "radiation". Following the mist, I found where it was emanating from. There is a glass sphere spewing out the stuff. The area around the sphere became distorted, like ripples in a pond. This whole thing looks strikingly familiar, yet I'm having a hard time believing what I'm seeing. After all, I've only seen it in movies.
"A wormhole," I say in almost a whisper. "It's. . .It's a wormhole!"
Ritsuko chuckles. "Of a sort." She raises her hand to stop whatever response I was gonna give. "And no. No physical object can pass through this 'wormhole'."
I pause for a moment then speak up. "So only energy can get through?"
The doctor smiles. "Yes, so as you can imagine, that 'radiation' wasn't the only thing this anomaly emitted." Ritsuko briefly takes control of the computer. "We picked up faint traces of radio waves emitting from this thing, so we decided to record them for around forty-eight hours. We had to filter through a ton of noise to get any proper data, but this is what we came up with."
She brings up a file which shows an undulating line moving in tandem with a strange noise. The sound is a mix of something which seems like wind blowing and some creature howling. There's also a bit of static mixed in, but the unique sound is clear as day. For some reason, the sound made me feel calm, as if it was some sort of lullaby. When the file was done playing the sound, I look at Risuko questioningly.
"What was that?"
"That is what happened when we turned the radio waves into audible noise," Ritsuko explains. "What you just heard were sounds similar to what our satellites pick up when listening to Earth."
I give the doctor an odd look before it all clicks together. "Wait. You're saying you're detecting a different Earth? My Earth?"
Ritsuko nods. "Upon further analysis, we've found the frequency of the radio waves emitting from the 'wormhole', are nearly identical to the radio wave frequency Earth emits."
She crosses her arms, a confident smile plastered on her face. "I'm eighty percent sure that on the other side of that anomaly, is your home."
I stare in awe at the screen, trying to process the information I've been given. "Can we send a signal through the wormhole?"
Ritsuko shakes her head. "No. Any signal we attempt to send through just bounces off. The wormhole also only stays open for about seventy-two hours before closing. Three weeks later, it reappears and the cycle continues. As you can see, with such a short window of time to work with this anomaly, it makes it difficult to study."
Disappointment finds its way into me. A shame. I was hoping to send my brother a message, telling him I'm alright. Hell, I was hoping to contact my Earth's NASA to see if they know anything about the wormhole. I mean, they must've found out about this thing too, despite how Nerv has the technical advantage. But, my disappointment quickly washes away as hope fills my heart. This is a step in the right direction.
"When do you guys think you can get the wormhole working?"
Ritsuko raises an eyebrow. "You really think we can control this anomaly?"
"You wouldn't have called me here if you couldn't," I respond.
She chuckles. "I suppose so." The woman thinks for a moment. "It's difficult to say, but at the rate we're going, I'd say we'll be able to send physical objects through the wormhole in about. . . a year. That's me being generous."
Ritsuko goes on to explain the science behind trying to stabilize a wormhole while my mind wanders.
This is huge! There's a chance for me to go home! It's literally within my grasp! I almost entertained the thought that I would stay here forever. But now that I know I can go home, I feel the most overwhelming sense of joy.
I let out a chuckle.
Soon, this will all be over.
The last few days have been great!
I mean, nothing much has changed since I first arrived in this world. I still go to school. I still learn from the same boring old history teacher. I still go to Nerv if I'm needed there, and at the end of the day, I return to Misato's place.
But the fact that I can return home at any moment, just brightens the days I spend here. Though, that's not the only reason why I've been so "chipper" these past few days.
Ever since our talk a week ago, Rei has been more open around me. Others might not have noticed much of a change, but it's subtle. She smiles more and is showing more variety in her emotions. Our talks have been less one-sided. She actively attempts to start conversations, and she actually began speaking her thoughts out loud. Recently, she's been interested in understanding her own emotions. Those particular talks ranged from amusing to slightly uncomfortable; though, she did seem to find some enjoyment in making me feel awkward. Anyway, the point is that she's happy, like genuinely happy. I'm just glad I was able to help her get out of her shell. I think. . .she'll do just fine.
Yeah. . .she'll be fine without me.
A hand covers my field of vision. The appendage moves side to side, as if it's trying to get my attention.
"Hey. Is anyone home?" asks the person attached to the hand.
I roll my eyes. "Yeah Toji, I'm here." I then lightly slap his hand away from my face.
The guy chuckles as he takes a bite of some candy he got from the school's vending machine. "Sorry, had to make sure. As soon as Kensuke mentioned Rei you went into 'la la land'."
I deadpan. "You guys are never gonna stop, are you?"
"You're finally catching on," Toji boasts, getting me to groan.
"Besides," Kensuke chimes in, leaning in close as if he was going to say something scandalous. "You really expect us to believe nothing's going on between you two?"
"You have been getting your head in the clouds these past few days," Toji says casually.
I roll my eyes. "That has nothing to do with Rei," Well. . .not fully. "Just recently got some good news, which is rare in my line of work."
That gets Toji's attention. "Well? Don't leave us in the dark. What's the good news?"
I pause for a moment and think carefully about what I'm going to say. I obviously can't reveal too much, but I can give them the basic details. "I've. . .I've been given a chance to return home."
"A chance?" Toji questions. Even Kensuke has an inquisitive look. "What, you mean like you couldn't go home before?"
I shrug. "I guess that's accurate."
"Why is that?" Kensuke questions. "Does it have something to do with being a pilot?"
"A bit." Technically I'm not lying.
The conversation ends for a moment, replaced with a slightly uncomfortable silence. Toji and Kensuke seem to suspect I'm not telling the full story. The tone of my voice must've hinted at something. Eventually, Toji speaks up, having decided that this silence was too uncomfortable.
"Sooo. . .what was your home like?" He asks.
"Yeah! America must've been way different from Japan!" Kensuke chimes in, also not liking the silence.
I'm about to speak up until a numbing feeling spreads across my body. I feel almost nothing when thinking about my home. Like, anytime I try to recall something that might be interesting to Toji and Kensuke, nothing comes up. The numbness eventually morphs into a kind of sickness in my stomach. It's not that strong a feeling, yet it's noticeable.
All this time I've been thinking about returning home. Thinking about finally seeing my brother again, and maybe speaking to whatever few friends I have. But, now that I think about it, like really think about it, I hate the place. The very thought of returning to that house with her there just. . .
"It's, you know. . .home." I respond curtly.
The silence returns, this time bringing along a somber mood. I attempt to shake off that feeling, but it's already dug its claws into my gut. A minute passes before Toji's lips twist into a smirk.
"Just thought of something. Before lunch, you let Rei braid your hair." Toji raises an eyebrow while continuing to smirk. "I don't know about you, but that seemed pretty girly to me."
Kensuke snorts out a laugh as I glare at Toji.
"I. . .you. . .you know what?! No. You're not getting to me!" He has no idea how hard it is for me to twist my dreadlocks by myself! I just asked Rei to help me out. There's nothing 'girly' about that!
Speaking of Rei, here she comes now. She walks over to the table my friends and I are sitting at, and casually takes a seat next to me. This is pretty out of character for her since she prefers to eat alone, so the look on Toji and Kensuke's face was priceless. Eventually, we all begin talking about mundane things. Rei would chime in every once in a while if the conversation drifted off to something she was interested in. Again, the looks on my friends' faces were priceless. They're just not use to Rei speaking this much. Looking at the girl, I see a slight, barely noticeable smile on her face. If I didn't know any better, I'd assume Rei is amused by Toji and Kensuke's reactions.
Lunch eventually ends so everyone goes back to class. During one of the teacher's boring lectures, my mind begins to wander. When I really think about it, I've been extremely lucky so far. I was lucky Nerv didn't dissect or kill me on sight when I was found. I was lucky to survive my first fight against an Angel, even though I was constantly failing the battle sims at the time. I was lucky when Toji and Kensuke decided to befriend me. . .even after what I did to them. I'm lucky that Misato seems to genuinely care about me, and that Rei is someone I can always count on.
I'm gonna miss this place. I've already accepted that fact but it's just so hard to believe. I mean, this is a world which shouldn't exist, filled with fictional people. Yet, these "fictional" characters are my friends. Back home, I barely had any real friends. But here. . .I've got a bunch of people I can talk, joke, and have meaningful conversations with. Meanwhile back home, I only have one person to talk to. One person I can be myself around.
There's a choice which needs to be made, and honestly, it seems like a no-brainer. Just stay here and abandon my chance to go home. I mean, I seem more happy here. But, I can't do that. I'm not gonna abandon my brother. What kind of person would I be if I did something like that? Besides, everyone here will be fine without me. Think about it. There's an anime and several movies detailing this world's inhabitants, and they all did fine before I came into the picture. There's no reason to believe my absence would cause a great hole in their lives, right?
They'll be fine.
. . .
Yeah. They'll be fine.
I keep my breath steady as my mind remains clear for the remainder of the harmonics test. My fellow pilots, each in their own entry plugs, are also undergoing the same test. These tests have been becoming easier as of late. Whereas before, I would struggle just to stay connected with Unit-01, now it's as easy as breathing. That feeling I had when first entering the Eva, the feeling of something burrowing into my soul, has become less noticeable. These tests have become so easy that I almost fell asleep at some points. Hell, there was a time when I did nod off and was still synchronized with Unit-01.
"Alright, you're all free to relax now," Dr. Akagi informs, which gets me to laugh silently.
I hear a bit of commotion up in the control room, as if someone was having a hard time believing something.
"Mikey! You're not going to believe this!" Misato says over the radio, getting me to groan at the nickname she keeps using.
"Yeah? What is it?" I respond.
The entry plug's display screen begins showing a bunch of scores, each with a pilot's name next to the corresponding score .
"You've got the highest score!" the woman says excitedly.
This. . .is actually a pretty good surprise. Though, now that I think about it, it really shouldn't be. My sync ratio has been steadily increasing lately. There were times when I would tie with Asuka's score, which the redhead didn't particularly like. But, I never expected to actually get the highest score. This brings a slight smile to my face.
"What?! You've gotta be kidding me!" Asuka yells over the radio. "This must be a mistake!"
Aaaand, there she goes.
"Sorry Asuka, there's no mistaking it. Michael got the highest score." There's a bit of sympathy mixed into Misato's words. "But, I'm sure you'll do better next time."
The redhead growls out a few words in German before pausing suddenly. There's a sharp intake of breath before Asuka speaks up again, albeit in almost a whisper. I wouldn't have caught any of her words if I wasn't paying attention. That's how quiet she was. "No way. Even her?"
I'm assuming she's talking about Rei's score, so I once again look at the display screen. My eyes nearly pop out of my head when I see the blue haired girl's score. She's tied with Asuka.
Rei always gets the lowest score, I never understood why. She has the most experience with Eva, yet her sync ratio always remained low. But now, her score skyrocketed! Maybe it's due to her being less withdrawn.
Ritsuko dismisses us, so we all exit our entry plugs. Asuka walks up to Rei and I then glares at us. Her fists are shaking, as if she's holding back her urge to throw a punch, which was concerning. Though, I feel most of her pent up aggression is being directed at Rei. The redhead eventually calms down, lets out a scoff, then walks off. I'd probably be for the best if we avoid Asuka.
After taking a shower in the locker room, I get dressed and start my journey to Ritsuko's office. Rei tags along, wanting to just hang out. The path to Ritsuko's office is relatively short, but Rei and I take our time getting there, enjoying each other's company. Eventually, I decide to strike up a conversation.
"So, how does it feel to have the same score as Asuka?"
"I feel. . .satisfied with my progress," Rei responds tentatively. "Though, I believe pilot Soryu is unhappy with this new development."
I wave off her concern. "She'll get over it. She always does." My lips mold into a smile. I wanna try something. "Though, I wonder if your score improved due to our. . . 'personal' time together?"
The effect was immediate. The girl's cheeks turn a deep shade of pink as her eyes go wide. "You're teasing me."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I say while playing innocent.
The girl silently giggles. "It seems the Major's personality has begun to influence yours."
I let out a chuckle while shrugging. "No arguments there. Guess it was bound to happen."
We both go into a comfortable silence before Rei speaks up again. "I was informed that Dr. Akagi has found the possibility of you returning to your world."
I pause, not exactly sure what to say. "Yeah. . ."
"I'm. . .happy for you," she smiles. "You are a step closer to your goal."
There's sincerity in her voice, but her smile feels forced. I'm about to point this out but she cuts me off. "Hart. I have never told you this, but I am grateful you decided to befriend me."
I scratch the back of my head while silently laughing. "Yeah, well. . .it's not that big a deal."
She shakes her head. "I disagree. You spoke to me when no one else would. You've never treated me differently, even though you know what I am. While others see me as odd, you saw me as. . . 'unique'. You showed me that I am more than just something to be thrown away." She gives me a genuine smile as she blushes slightly. "I am lucky to have met someone as. . . kind as you."
A warmth spreads in my chest just by hearing her words. They're nice to hear, and I'm glad she feels that way. . .but I don't deserve her praise. I mean, did she forget our first encounter?
"Kind? I'm not so sure about that."
Rei chuckles. "It is true. Perhaps you just need to have more faith in yourself."
I let out a snort as my smile returned. "Yeah, guess you're right."
We continued our talk until we reached Ritsuko's office. She bids me farewell as I enter Dr. Akagi's domain. The doctor just took some of my blood then spent the next hour explaining her findings about the wormhole. Eventually, after receiving all the information needed, I returned to Misato's place.
Around seven at night, I begin cooking some food for tomorrow. The food I make is never complicated or something you'd see in a five star restaurant. The meal just consists of rice, meat or fish. Maybe I'll add some spices to add a little flavor, but that's about as fancy as my cooking gets. Usually, I only cook for myself but. . .I decided to make an exception and prepare something for Asuka. The girl hasn't said a word since we got back to the apartment. She's obviously upset, but she refused to speak to anyone. Misato tried to get Asuka to open up, but after an hour of trying, the Major gave up and went to bed. Now Asuka's just sitting in front of the tv with a frown permanently carved into her face. I figured making the redhead some food would cause her to calm down and, you know, not rip my head off.
When I'm done cooking, I put the food into two separate containers then put them in the fridge. Looking at the trashcan, I see it's full which makes me sigh in annoyance.
"Hey, it's your turn to take out the garbage." I tell the redhead while heading to the sink to clean dishes. The girl may be upset, but it doesn't give her the right to dodge her responsibilities.
Her response is immediate.
"Oh? Is the Fourth Child too great to dirty his hands?" She asks, voice dripping with sarcasm.
There was a certain "venom" in her tone which caught me completely by surprise. I mean, she always has something sarcastic or insulting to say to me; but this feels different. Like there's this malicious aura around her.
"What crawled up your ass? I just asked you to take out the trash, jeez!" I dry my hands on my pants then took the trash bag out of the trashcan. "If you're gonna be a bitch about it then I'll do it."
As I'm carrying the bag to the front door, the redhead speaks up again. "So the great Fourth Child decides to lower himself to our level. I'm soooo honored."
This time she didn't even bother to hide her disdain. I decide to ignore her and continue walking to the door.
Before I get within three steps of the front door, the redhead storms over and gets in front of me. She jabs a finger in my chest as her lips curl into a snarl.
"Don't! Ignore! Me!" She emphasizes each word by jabbing her finger in my chest. "Just because you got a taste of victory doesn't mean you're all that! You and the First Child got lucky on that sync test and nothing more! So wipe that self-righteous look off your face! You're better than no one!"
I'm dumbfounded, then annoyed. "That's what this is about?! Some stupid sync test?! I couldn't care less about the damn thing, and I don't think I'm better than anyone! So back off!"
The girl lets out a mock laugh as she now points her finger in my face. "Yeah right! I've seen you and the First talking behind my back! Plotting and planning. Just waiting for the day I slip up, just so you and that bitch can look down on me! You, some nobody who wormed his way into getting his own Eva! And her. . ." Asuka's voice deepens as she becomes more frustrated. "Some idiot who can't even think for herself! Someone who's nothing more than a pathetic doll!"
I glare at the redhead. "Leave Rei out of this!"
She gives a challenging smirk which still radiates some deep rage. "Why should I leave her out of this? Am I hitting a nerve just by mentioning your 'girlfriend'?" I narrow my eyes as she continues her rant. "I shouldn't be surprised that you and her ended up in a disgusting relationship! You two deserve each other! You both probably screw like animals whenever no one's looking! Tell me Fourth, how does it feel to be fucking a doll?"
I drop the trash bag and look into her eyes. This girl. . .this fucking girl! She blows the simplest things out of proportion! If I do one thing marginally better than her, she takes it as a personal insult! Like I'm somehow physically damaging her just by doing better! And once again, she's directing all that rage to Rei for some reason. She always hated the girl, I never understood why. But I'm not gonna stand for this! I'm tired of getting into these kinds of arguments with Asuka.
I'm done with this girl.
"I think I finally understand you," I tell her calmly which catches her off guard. "I've dealt with your kind before. I've been surrounded by idiots like you my entire life." I walk closer to her. My eyes see nothing but red. "You want. . .no, you need the spotlight to always be on you. You thrive on the attention of others, because it makes you feel powerful. It makes you feel like you actually matter." A short laugh escapes me as a smirk crawls onto my face. "That's why you hate being ignored. That's why you attack Rei and I if we slightly do better than you. It's because deep down, you feel helpless. Deep down you know, without your bravado, without your Eva, you're nothing." My smirk becomes bigger. "And you hate that, don't you?"
Asuka's not smiling anymore. "Don't pretend you know a thing about me."
That gets me to laugh. "You're not as complicated as you think! You're pretty much an open book! You're an attention whore who hates the thought of losing! That's it! You're so fucking childish that it's laughable! Why are you so starved for attention, hmm?" I then start speaking in a mocking tone. "What, did mama never hold you when you were younger?"
Her eyes widen slightly then narrows.
Wait, it's all coming back to me. That night when she was sleepwalking, crying for her mother. That's it! It's so simple. So pathetic!
"That's it, isn't it!" I say, laughing at the very thought of the "Oh so great Asuka" acting out because of mommy issues. "You had a bit of trouble with mommy, so now you don't play well with others."
"Don't," the redhead warns. But I don't listen.
"What's wrong, mommy never gave you attention?" I say, continuing to mock her. "Mommy never gave you good night kisses? Mommy never read you bedtime stories? Mommy never held your wittle hand?"
"Stop," the redhead demands, hair covering her face. I continue to ignore her.
"Mommy wished you were never born?"
I almost didn't have time to react to her right hook, it came so fast. Quickly, I bring up my arms and block the attack, though the force of it nearly knocks me off balance. The impact leaves both my arms feeling sore real quick. She's a lot stronger than she looks.
The moment I locked eyes with the redhead, I witnessed something which sparked a bit of fear in me. Angry doesn't even begin to describe how she looks. Her teeth are bare and her eyes are the widest I've ever seen them. She looks like some beast ready to rip her prey to shreds. Her killer intent radiates across her entire body, and is nearly suffocating.
She lets out a feral scream as she readies herself to attack. I get ready to defend myself before, out of the blue, someone pushes past me and grabs Asuka, preventing the redhead from getting to me.
When did Misato get out of her room?
"LET GO! LET GO OF ME! ! !" Asuka screeches.
"Calm down!" The Major responds, actually struggling to keep the redhead still. Misato then glares at me. "What did you do?!"
"What did I do?" I say, surprised she's accusing me of starting something. "She started it!"
"That's not what I asked!" Misato snaps.
Her conversation with me is cut short as Asuka continues to struggle against Misato's grip. Eventually, the redhead managed to escape the grown woman's grasp, but she's calmer now. The girl looks at me with dead eyes before a disdainful expression sears itself onto her face. The girl storms off into her room then slams the door. Misato then returns her attention to me, not looking particularly pleased.
"I'll ask again. What did you do?" She asks. . .no, demands.
"Again, she started it!" I tell her. "She was going on a rant about how she thinks I'm some sort of asshole! So I just insulted her and pointed out all her shitty behavior! She then went crazy and tried to fight me!"
" *Sigh* You know what, it doesn't matter!" The Major snaps, clearly tired of this. "It doesn't matter what you said exactly, you clearly crossed a line! Tomorrow you both are going to apologize to each other. The last thing I need in this place is the two of you trying to kill each other!"
"I'm not apologizing!" I snap back at her. "I meant every single word I said to Asuka and I'm not taking back any of it! Asuka can feel as miserable as she wants, just as long she leaves me alone!"
"You're going to apologize," the woman states.
"Or what?" I challenge. "You're gonna 'send me to my room'?"
"I. . .Ugh, I can't deal with you like this!" Misato states as she walks to the fridge and pulls out a beer. "I'm going to bed." She goes to her room and practically slams the door.
The place becomes deathly quiet. I'm all alone. The only thing to keep me company is the trash bag. I became slightly angry at Misato. How come she was taking Asuka's side?! The redhead has always been trouble in the past, and Misato knows it. Yet, she's defending the redhead's shitty behavior? That makes no goddamn sense!
Silently fuming, I pick up the trash bag then take it outside for it to be picked up. The night air is kinda nippy, so I go back inside as soon as possible. I wash up, go to bed, and hope this all blows over tomorrow.
Sometime later in the night, I'm awoken by the sound of crying. Due to the proximity of the noise, I know it's coming from across the hall, from Asuka's room.
It was faint, but my lips twisted into a smile.
A new Angel has been spotted, meaning me and the other pilots were sent to the Geofront. When there, we were given information on this new creature. To make things brief, we have no idea what this thing can do. It's a floating, zebra colored sphere which hasn't done a thing since it arrived. It just floats around the city aimlessly, which is behavior similar to the fifth Angel. The thing has an eerie aura to it, even more than the usual Angel which makes no sense, it's just a floating sphere. Anyway, Ritsuko made a comment about not knowing whether this creature's an Angel or not, which is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I mean, what else could it be?
Asuka barely said a word since this morning. If someone were to ask her something, she would respond with either a grunt or a scoff. Rei noticed the redhead's demeanor and asked me about it. I smiled and told her it was nothing to worry about. Asuka, seeing me and Rei talking, finally spoke up and said "Shut up. We got an Angel to kill". I rolled my eyes at her comment then headed to my Eva.
Moments later, me and the other pilots are in our Evas, equipped with weapons we think might be useful against the spherical creature. For a change of pace, I've equipped Unit-01 with a Sonic Glaive since sonic based weapons seem to be the most effective against Angels. The weapon also gives me the range I need so I can poke at the creature then run if need to. As for Unit-02, it had a Sonic Axe, or as it's more commonly known, "The Smash Hawk". It's shorter than the glaive, but from the look of the blade of that thing, it can probably rank up a ton of damage. Finally, Unit-00 is equipped with a sniper rifle, wanting to attack the Angel at a distance. That, and Rei's better with that thing than Asuka and I.
"Alright, remember to keep your distance and observe how it reacts," Misato commands over the radio. "If you can, try to lead it out of the city."
After receiving our orders, we all began approaching the creature at a snail's crawl. We kept just enough distance for us to run if need to, but was close enough to get a good look at the Angel. Rei barely moved her Eva, since she had the perfect sniping position. Asuka and I, meanwhile, hid behind a few buildings in an attempt to remain out of the Angel's sight.
The thing hasn't done much. It just floats between buildings without a care in the world. It's like it's waiting for something.
"Misato, it hasn't done anything yet. What now?" I ask.
"Alright, one of you get its attention then try to lead it out of the city," The Major commands. "But only on my mark."
I nod then come up with a brief plan. If the creature has a long distance attack then all I have to do is rush it and use the glaive to pierce its core. . .where ever that is. If I miss, I can just back off and Asuka can distract it with her axe, while Rei provides cover fire. Even if the creature's proficient in close quarters combat (which is kinda hard to see), the same plan could still work.
"Why don't we just let Michael take control of this mission," Asuka asks in a sarcastic tone.
"What?" the Major questions, confused at the redhead's suggestion.
"I mean, it's only natural that the one with the highest sync score should lead the mission," Unit-02's head turns to me. "Wouldn't you agree, Michael?"
I see what Asuka's doing. Fine, let's play.
"Why thank you, but I have to refuse. Wouldn't want to take the attention away from you," I reply sarcastically. "After all, you're a bit sensitive about that."
"What? Why you. . ." the redhead seethes.
"I mean, I would ask you to lead the mission since you're 'The Best Pilot in the World'. But, I feel this position would be too difficult due to your lack of *cough* 'mental stability'."
Asuka says nothing so Misato decides to step in.
"Okay you two that's enough!" The Major orders, but I'm on a roll.
"What's wrong?" I ask mockingly. "No comment about how 'great' you are?"
"Hart, that is enough!" Rei orders, snapping at me. This caught me completely off guard.
Why is she defending Asuka? She of all people should have little reason to care about the redhead.
"What? But I. . ." I let out a sign and resigned myself. "Fine."
A loud sound goes off next to me causing me to look in Asuka's direction. Unit-02's fist is embedded inside a building.
"I DON'T NEED HELP FROM A DOLL LIKE YOU! ! !" Asuka screams, her voice almost becoming hoarse.
"AND YOU! ! !" A holographic screen appears on my display screen, revealing Asuka's furious expression. "I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A REAL PILOT! ! !"
Without warning, Unit-02 charges at the Angel, axe raised to strike the creature.
"Asuka! Get back here!" Misato yells over the radio.
Everyone's yelling at her, demanding her to come back. But she won't listen. She's completely determined to take out the Angel all by herself. I even begin yelling at her, thinking she's crazy for charging directly at the spherical creature without any sort of plan. The closer she gets to the Angel, the deeper the pit in my stomach becomes.
The red Eva jumps into the air and uses its axe to take a swipe at the Angel. The axe went through the Angel, but no visible damage was taken, like the creature's some sort a of ghost. The creature disappears as a great shadow grows underneath Unit-02's feet. The shadow then begins to devour the Eva!
My blood goes cold.
"What is this?!" Asuka panics. Her Eva moves erratically, trying to prevent itself from sinking deeper into the shadow. But no matter what the Eva tries, it continues its descent into the shadowy pit.
Rei begins shooting the Angel, but as soon as the bullets make contact, the creature disappears. This results in the shadow getting even bigger, swallowing the surrounding buildings.
"Rei, stop shooting and get to higher ground!" I yell as I climb up a building. The girl immediately commands her Eva to get on top of a tall building to get away from the shadow.
The building I'm standing on is sinking, but it's a slow descent so I can get a quick survey of the area.
The whole city seems to be sinking! Like the entire area was built on top of quicksand! Looking at Unit-02, I see it's now waist deep in the shadow and is still trying desperately to escape. Asuka's panicked cries echo against the walls of my entry plug, giving me a clear idea of how the redhead's feeling at this exact moment.
My breath stops as my stomach fills with clay. An overwhelming sense of fear and guilt washes over my form, nearly drowning me. I just stare as Asuka sinks deeper into the belly of the beast.
I didn't want this. I didn't want Asuka to attack the Angel on her own. I didn't want her to die because of me! I just wanted her to leave me and Rei alone! I was just tired of her condescending attitude. Tired of the insults. Tired of the constant mood swings with her! I just wanted her to hurt so bad that she'll think twice before messing with me! But I never wanted her to die! That was never my intent!
And yet, this is still my fault.
I jump off the building, attempting to get as close to Asuka as possible.
"Michael!" Misato cries out. "Rei, catch him! Don't let him touch the shadow!"
"I'm fine!" I say before Rei can do anything.
All Angels attack with their A.T. Field. Whether it comes to flying, shooting lasers, or transforming, it all comes back to the A.T. Field. And an A.T. Field can be canceled out by another field.
As I make my descent to the shadow, I raise Unit-01's A.T. Field to its max and prayed this worked. As my Eva touches the shadow, it begins to sink, but only by a small amount. I push myself even further to raise the Eva's field. I eventually stop sinking all together. Wasting no time, I run towards Unit-02 and reach out my hand. As I grab the red Eva, my field weakens, causing the shadow to devour Unit-01's legs.
"Huh?" I hear Asuka question.
"I'm gonna throw you now," I tell her. Using all my strength, I pull her out of the shadow and toss her to the nearest building. This action causes me to sink further into the shadow. Now only my chest is above ground.
Asuka, expertly twists her Eva in mid-air so it could land on the building I had thrown it to. The Eva pauses as if it were surprised I did such a thing.
Now only my neck is above ground.
"You. . .YOU JERK! ! !" Asuka screams at me. "I didn't ask for your help! I didn't want or need your help! You should've just left me you bastard!"
The girl continues her rant as I sink deeper into the shadow. I'm oddly calm throughout this entire situation. I guess I've already accepted the possibility of death.
Heh, this sucks. Dying for someone I don't even like. What a pathetic way to go.
"Asuka," I say, interrupting her rant. My Eva's head is nearly consumed by the shadow. A few more seconds and I'm gone. Despite this fact, a smile appears on my face. "Shut up."
Everything goes silent as I become fully consumed.
Odd.
Being consumed by a shadow, I expected to be taken to a place that was. . .well, dark. Instead, I'm surrounded entirely by a white void. There's no ground, no sky, no up, down, or any way to determine my orientation. The Eva just floats around in an endless void, the only company being the occasional floating building. No sound can be heard outside my entry plug, it's just complete silence out there. The radio can't get a signal, so it's next to impossible for me to contact Nerv.
I'm in a pretty bad situation. The Eva's umbilical cable was yanked off when the Angel's shadow swallowed me. So now I have limited power. Luckily, Nerv trained me and the other pilots to shut down everything except the life support system if ever we were in a situation like. . .like this I guess. Though, this isn't exactly something to jump in glee for. I only have around sixteen hours of power. Sixteen hours of doing absolutely nothing. Sixteen hours of waiting to either be saved. . . or to die.
Maybe there was another way for me to save Asuka as well as myself. Perhaps if I just thought for a second longer, I could have came up with a better solution.
I could've also not antagonized Asuka in the first place. For a matter of fact, why did I do that? I got her off my back last night, so why did I mess with her during the mission? If I had something to say to the redhead, it could've been done after we killed the Angel. That way. . .I would not have to deal with being in here. Wherever here is.
. . .
Sleep.
Yeah. A bit of sleep wouldn't hurt anybody. When I wake up, I'll think of a way to escape this place.
/ / /
Two hours have passed. During that time, I briefly powered up the Eva in order to use it's A.T. Field to escape. After thirty seconds of doing that I quickly went back to life support. That action alone took away an extra hour of power. Great. I'm such a fucking idiot! Now I have like. . . thirteen hours of power left? Yep, just checked. Got thirteen hours left to live.
To be honest, I might even got less than that. An Eva, even one switched to life support, isn't supposed to run for this long. It just takes one thing to break down for me to get fucked. Like, oh I don't know, the LCL filter which keeps the liquid oxygenated so I can keep breathing. So in short, I can't rely on the internal battery to keep me alive. I need to find some way to escape this prison. But how?
/ / /
Maybe this place is white because of all the light it absorbs. Perhaps the suction of the Angel's shadow is so strong, it makes it impossible for light to escape. So it all becomes trapped here, making this place completely white. It's like a black hole in a way.
. . .
There are multiple problems with that theory. If the suction was that strong, then I shouldn't have been able to pull Asuka out of the shadow. Secondly, the amount of light needed to make this place completely white would burn my Eva to a crisp. At the very least, looking at the place would cause me to go blind. I mean-
AM I SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!
I've been trapped here for a total of seven hours, and all I can think about is how white this place is?! I've got eight hours left to live! I need to think of a way out of here! I should send a signal, a letter, something to let someone know I'm alive! Maybe the outside has breathable air?! I could just step outside then float out of this place! Is that wishful thinking? Sure. But I need to do something! I can't just sit here until death takes me.
But. . .what exactly can I do?
. . .
Asuka was right. I should've left her.
/ / /
IT'S HORRIBLE! ! ! EVERYTHING SMELLS LIKE BLOOD! ! ! I'M CHOKING ON THE SMELL! ! ! THE TASTE! ! ! I CAN'T STAND IT! ! ! GET ME OUT! ! !
"GET ME OUT! ! ! I HATE IT HERE! ! ! HELP ME! ! ! SOMEBODY HELP ME! ! !"
God help me! Pleeeeeeaase! God save me!
God save me! ! !
"GOD SAVE ME! ! !"
. . .
I'm gonna die here.
/ / /
A room.
I'm in a small, confined room sitting on a wooden chair. Everything around me seems to be made of polished wood except for the exit on my right. This exit is an opening obscured by a red cloth. This cloth makes it nearly impossible to see what's on the other side of the exit. For some reason, that's comforting.
Anyway, in front of me is this latticed window which, to my surprise, reveals that there's someone on the other side of the thing. Though, due to the way the window was made, I have a hard time seeing who this person is.
This place. . .it's a confessional. Remember being forced to be in one by my mother. Don't remember what I said to the priest at that time. I think I just confessed that I stayed up past my bedtime to watch tv. Damn, how old was I then?
But, why am I here now? Wasn't I somewhere else? You only go to a confessional if you have something to confess. But, I have nothing to confess.
"Are you sure?"
A voice. Must be coming from the person on the other side of the window. He's gotta be the priest but. . .he sounds too young. For a matter of fact, he sounds exactly like me, just. . . younger.
"Who are you?" I ask "the voice".
"That is a good question, but one which is irrelevant as of now," says the voice in a manner which betrays his apparent age. "Now, allow me to ask the same question. Who are you?"
"I. . .I'm. . ." What is this? Why is this so hard? "I'm. . .Michael. Michael Hart."
"Are you sure?" the voice asks which gives me pause.
". . .What do you mean?"
"I mean. Is Michael Hart your true identity?"
Why does that question disturb me? Of course I'm Michael. Who else would I be? "Why am I here?"
"To confess your sins."
What?! "I have nothing to confess."
"Quite the contrary," the voice retorts. "You have much to confess. Or, do you not remember the times when your rage has taken over. The times when you've hurt people."
I pause. Hurt? Did I hurt people?
. . .
My mind's all fuzzy.
"What are you talking about?"
"How quickly you forget. Do you not remember your first encounter with Toji? A time when you attempted to strangle the life out of him."
A memory comes to me. I feel myself wrapping my hands around his neck and squeezing. The rage pulsates through my entire form every time Toji tries to stop me. A sickening feeling of joy encompasses me as the boy's eyes flutter between states of consciousness.
My stomach starts tying itself into several knots. "That. . .that was an accident!"
"I also suppose attacking Kensuke when he was attempting to save his friend was also an 'accident'," the voice points out. "I suppose the times you've hurt Misato with either your words or your actions was also an 'accident'. There were even times you've wanted to hurt her physically. Those thoughts, were those 'accidents'?"
More memories flood into my mind as this voice describes my past. Me wanting Kensuke to leave me alone, to not interrupt me. . .strangling Toji. The times when I've said things to Misato to make her hurt. That one time when a dark thought crossed my mind. The time I discovered Shinji's last thought. The time when I discovered I was willing to do horrible things to Misato just to make her pay for what she's done.
That isn't me! Those times, that wasn't me! I refuse to believe it!
"Shut up."
"And let's not forget Rei. You've acted cold to her during your first encounter, avoiding her whenever you could. Then when the time came to choose your life over her's, you chose your life due to a simple truth which prevailed through your mind. That her life was worth less than yours."
"Stop it!" I growl at the voice. My skin feels like it's on fire. My heart beats faster and my eyes hurt. "That was then, and I already faced the consequences of those actions! So back off!"
"What consequences?" it asks. "Feeling sorry for yourself then apologizing later? That hardly seems like a consequence. Wouldn't you agree?"
I say nothing.
"You believe you have changed. That some part of your personality, the part which constantly burns with anger, has completely vanished. But this is false. One only needs to witness your treatment of Asuka for proof."
Rage seethes within me. "She deserves it!"
"You are justifying this behavior?"
"YES! I mean. . .no. I mean. . ." My chest is tightening.
"You enjoy causing others pain."
"Fuck you! You don't know a thing about me!"
"It is the truth whether you like it or not," the voice states, sounding slightly distorted. "You see everyone around you as an annoyance, as less than human. That's how you've always been. You only consider people as slightly human if they can make you feel better about yourself. That is why you push people away, for you see them as a waste of time. That is why the person you're closest to in this world is Rei. She has little knowledge of how the world actually works, so you manipulate her into making her think you are the pinnacle of how humanity should act. And if she displays undesirable behavior, you 'improve' her."
"Take that back! I do not manipulate Rei! You take that back! ! !"
"You've created a reality where using others is the only way to gain happiness. And if you're unable to gain happiness through their love, then you gain it through their pain. This beast, your true self, feeds on the suffering of others. It sustains you, makes you strong. It distracts you from how weak you really are. It gives you the illusion that you have power over the world. That is why you constantly feed this beast, this embodiment of pure, burning anger. And that is why no one is safe from this beast within. Not your classmates, not your friends. . .not even your brother."
My heart sinks. "What?"
"Don't tell me you have forgotten," the voice, who up until this point was devoid of emotion, now sounds slightly amused. "Well, allow me to remind you."
The atmosphere changes. Everything feels wrong. It's like the confessional's trying to suffocate me.
"You and Shane got into a fight. You don't quite remember what it was about, but things quickly escalated."
Recognition soon dawns on me. I cover my ears, not wanting to hear this. But I can still hear that thing's voice!
"Shane hit you out of anger, and began yelling. You could not comprehend his words. It was all blocked out by your seething rage."
"Shut up!" I close my eyes, but can see the event playing through my mind. I can feel everything that happened. I can feel the anger!
"You felt betrayed," the voice continues, seemingly enjoying my suffering. "How dare he push you around. How dare he yell at you and speak down to you. How dare he get in your face and look at you with contempt. Your blood boiled. You saw only red."
"Stop it! STOP IT! ! ! STOP IT ! ! !" I feel tears pouring out of my eyes as my breathing stutters.
"You hit him. You didn't stop hitting him until he fell to the floor. He tried to get up, he tried to walk away, but you wrapped your arms around his neck. Then you squeezed."
I feel sick! I feel physically sick! I don't wanna think about this! I'm starting to hyperventilate! I can't seem to catch my breath!
I try to block out what the voice is saying, but I can't! Every time I close my eyes, I see the memory as clear as day! Every time I cover my ears, the voice pierces through my hands like nails on a cross! I grab for the cross hanging around my neck, my only source of comfort. But even that's turned against me! Every time I grab the thing, it burns my hands as if I was some sort of. . .of. . .
"You squeezed until he begged for air. You squeezed until his arms went limp. Shane could have fought back. He could have gotten out of that situation in a multitude of ways. But him, being the 'good little brother', didn't want to hurt you." The voice becomes even more distorted. "And you know what you did?"
". . ."
"You smiled."
My fingers dig themselves into my skin.
"By some miracle, you let him go before things could get worse. But that look on his face. That look of betrayal and pure terror. That always stayed with you. Hasn't it?"
". . ."
"You are destined to hurt everyone around you. This is the truth you wish not to believe." The voice states, now sounding completely distorted. "So, I'll ask you once again. Who. Are. You?"
The confessional bursts into flames. The fire consumes everything. It licks and devours my flesh, but I don't mind the pain. The walls burn down, revealing who I was talking to. It looks like me. That's all I can think. It. Looks. Like. Me.
"A Devil."
Ten minutes.
I have ten minutes left to live.
The LCL, which is usually clear when the Eva's functioning, becomes visible, turning the world into a crimson red. The crimson liquid burns my lungs every time I take a breath. Breathing's becoming a struggle and everything smells like death.
The world around me is dying. I'm dying, and there's nothing I can do about it. And I'm absolutely okay with it.
God, the Devil, whatever the thing was that spoke to me, was right. I'm not some person but . . .something else. I hurt everyone around me whenever given the chance. And I'm not gonna stop! I'm gonna keep doing it till the day I die! Why? Because that's what I am! I do like hurting people! Their pain does make me feel powerful, just like that voice said! It's sickening! It's disgusting! But it's true.
I don't deserve to be saved. I don't deserve my friends, my family. . .I don't deserve to go home. That hurts. That really hurts. The realization that if I go home, I'll end up hurting my brother. It's only a matter of time, for I've done it before. Even if I don't hurt him physically, my presence there would only cause him more pain. As long as I'm there, she will always hurt him. It'd be better if I disappeared. I wasn't any use to him anyway. I'm not any use to anyone.
Maybe that's why she hates me.
This is what I deserve. Anything else would have been too good for me. All I have to do is sleep. Anyone can do that, even a screw up like me. Just sleep, and make it all go away.
"Hart!"
That voice. . . Rei?
"Hart! Please come back!"
She sounds like she's in pain. Like, genuine pain. I've never heard that in her voice before. Not even when she was nearly boiled alive by the fifth Angel.
"Michael. I'm sorry. I. . .I don't know what to do."
Misato?
Voices. A ton of voices are calling out to me. They're begging me to come back. Begging me to not give up.
It's too late though. I've already accepted my fate. Besides, even if I wanted to leave, I don't know how. I'm nearly out of power, so there's no point in fighting anymore. Just give up. Just sleep, and let all the pain wash away.
I'm sorry everyone.
"You idiot!" A loud, brash voice wakes me from my short slumber. "You jerk! I didn't ask for your help! But you just had to show off, just so you can be a hero!"
Asuka? Why is she upset? Why does she care?
No, ignore her. There's nothing she or anyone else can do. I'm trapped down here.
"I hate you!" The redhead continues, much to my annoyance. "You had no business getting between me and my battle! If I was gonna die, then let it happen! I would rather die like a warrior than let anyone do so in my place, as if I were some helpless damsel! It's disgusting, pathetic, and idiotic! You had no right to do that!"
Shut up already.
"You better not be dead!" She continues screaming. "I won't let anyone die for me! It's an insult to me as a pilot! So if you're dead, I'll never forgive you!"
Shut up!
"You hear me Fourth?! I said I'll never forgive you! ! !"
Oh my god!
"WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP! ! ! "
As soon as I let out that yell, my skin began to hurt, like it was burning. It hurt like hell, but my anger made me move through the pain. Then, something weird happened. My Eva bursts into red flames as a red beam shoots from Unit-01 and into the "sky". The "sky" then tears open as pillars of flames dance around the newly formed opening! Shortly after, I see something fall from the opening, attached to what looks like a rope.
Suddenly the radio starts working, and a brash voice begins speaking through it.
"Don't just sit there! Move!"
Asuka?! How did she. . .? Did I. . .?
"Come on!" Unit-02 reaches out its hand. "We don't have much time, and I can't reach you unless you move your ass! ! !"
Move? How am I gonna. . .
The thrusters! I have just enough power to get them working! But will it be enough to get to her!
"Michael! GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR! ! !"
No time to hesitate! I activate my Eva and forward all the power to the thrusters. The effect is immediate. I'm soaring at high speeds toward Asuka's Eva. Upon further inspection, the "rope" it's hanging onto is an umbilical cable.
I command Unit-01 to reach out and grab the red Eva's hand. At that moment, I ran out of power. Immediately, I began choking on the LCL. I had to hold my breath in order to prevent any more liquid from entering my lungs. I'm powerless to do anything. I'm in Asuka's hands now.
Unit-02 grabs my Eva's hand tightly then looks up at the rip in the "sky". It's getting smaller.
"Rei! Now!"
The cable Asuka's hanging onto begins reeling in at great speeds, taking me and the redhead to the slowly closing opening. When we pass through the opening, I'm greeted with Unit-00 holding the umbilical cable Unit-02 was using to get to the surface. But what immediately caught my attention after that, was the swarm of military aircraft in the sky.
Unit-02 threw my Eva to the ground as the rip in the Angel's shadow closes. Unit-02 stood in front of my Eva protectively, raising its A.T. Field as the shadow grows bigger. Unit-00 spreads its arms out, seemingly raising its A.T. Field as well.
"Fire, now! ! !" Asuka commands, obviously talking to the people piloting the aircraft.
Upon Asuka's command, the aircraft drop a bunch of, what I assume is N2 bombs, into the growing shadow. Immediately after, a blinding light emits from the shadow as Unit-02 and Unit-00 use their fields to contain and funnel the blast.
I pass out.
You know that moment when you fall asleep then wake up without remembering any dreams you may have had? Well, that's what it felt like right now. Like I knew some time had passed, but in my mind, only a second passed.
"Michael! Michael! Wake up! Please!"
A few drops of. . .rain? Tears? Falls on my face as a voice calls out to me. I open my eyes slowly, feeling more tired than I've ever felt in my entire life, and look up at the person speaking.
"Michael?" says Misato, though right now, she just looks like a blob of colors.
In response, I cough out some crimson liquid. There's no doubt that some of it got on her.
She pulls me into a bone crushing hug regardless, which is something I do not want at the moment. I'm already having a hard time breathing.
"I was so worried! I thought I lost you! I thought. . ." She continues crying her eyes out for what feels like forever. Seeing as this wasn't ending anytime soon, I went back to sleep.
The next time I wake up, I'm staring at a white ceiling, meaning I'm in a hospital. I really hate this place. On the bright side, I feel slightly better than the last time I woke up, but I can tell I'm gonna be in here for a few days.
Looking to my right, I see Rei sitting in a chair, reading a book. At first glance, it looks like she's her calm usual self. But, I can tell she's worried. She's not even reading, she's just staring at a single page.
"Hey," I say and immediately regret it. It's like I swallowed broken glass.
Her reaction is immediate. She nearly drops her book as she gives me a bewildered stare. Eventually, that look morphs into relief.
"Hart, you are well." She says softly.
"Sorta," I say shortly, getting used to the pain in my throat. I then close my eyes briefly as I let out a sigh. Rei immediately caught onto my change in mood.
"Hart?"
I look into those crimson red eyes of hers and thought about what the voice said. That I only befriend people if they can make me feel better about myself. That, the reason I'm so close to Rei is because. . .she's easy to manipulate.
I have been manipulating her. I mean, let's look at my actions. The only reason why I'm even friends with the blue haired girl was because I asked her to tutor me! When I found out how withdrawn she was, I began "improving" her. My excuse was that I saw a bit of myself in her. That she reminds me too much of myself, and that I don't want her to be as lonely as I was. But that's a load of crap! I only stayed friends with her because she listened to my sob story! I only stayed friends with her because I believed she's incapable of judging me due to her lack of experience with people! In short, I was just using her.
I want to apologize to Rei. I want to apologize for messing up the mission! I want to apologize for making her spend every waking day with me! I want to tell her how wrong she was about me.
"Rei, I. . .I. . ." the words come out as haggard, due to my throat hurting. I frown as I begin choking on words that has yet to come out.
A hand, Rei's hand, encompasses my own. The girl looks me dead in the eyes with what looks like understanding. Like somehow, she can read my mind. But that's impossible. There's no way she knows what I'm thinking. If she did, she would hate me.
"Hart," The girl says softly, in almost a motherly tone. "I do not know what happened while you were swallowed by the Angel, but understand that I am here to help you."
"You shouldn't bother. I'm *cough* not worth the trouble." I respond.
She pauses, then gets closer to me. "I understand what it's like to feel lonely. I understand what it's like to question one's self. To question if anyone can understand your pain. But you taught me that there are people in the world, good people, who will try to understand you. Who will give you strength when you have none. Who will remind you who you really are."
I'm about to say something, probably something to demean myself, but she stops me.
"You are my friend, and nothing will ever change that." She smiles. "So smile. You have much to be thankful for."
Her words, for some reason, they wipe away any doubt I might have in my mind. Rei is my friend. I genuinely enjoy being around her. No matter what some voice said.
"Smile? You mean like this?" I then give her the goofiest, most ridiculous expression I could think of.
That gets her to laugh. "I suppose that will do."
"Ugh! Gag me with a spoon!" A new voice says in disgust. Turning to the source, I see Asuka in her school uniform, leaning against the entrance to the room.
I'm slightly amused by this action and tell Rei to leave for a moment so I may speak to the redhead. Rei nods then shortly leaves the room.
"So I guess you're feeling better now that you're flirting with 'Wondergirl'," Asuka says as she walks closer to my bed.
"What? Jealous?" I ask jokenly.
She scoffs. "As if."
I chuckle for a moment then pause. "Thanks for saving me."
She crosses her arms then shrugs. "It's not a big deal or anything. The First wouldn't stop whining about you, which was really getting on my nerves. So, when I saw the Angel's shadow rip open, I immediately came up with a plan and jumped in after you. I knew if I saved you, 'Wondergirl' would stop her incessant whining."
I start laughing for some reason. The redhead snorts out a laugh as well. Eventually, I decide to get into the meat of things.
"Sooo. . .about last night. I-"
"Save it," the redhead interrupts. She looks annoyed I would even bother apologizing. "We both said things we immediately regretted, so let's forget about it."
A short laugh escapes me. "Kay. Works for me."
"Well, I'm gonna go now," Asuka says, turning her back to me. "Don't wanna keep you away from your 'girlfriend' any longer."
I let out a groan. "Yeah, sure. Whatever."
Author's Notes: Fun fact, got into a car wreck around three weeks ago. That was fun. Don't worry, the car and the stuff inside wasn't damaged that much. . .Oh, and I guess I'm fine too, so that's a plus.
Anyway, I finally finished this chapter. For some reason, this one was giving me a hard time. I guess I was wondering how I was going to write a chapter where most of the time was spent inside a white void. I thought the chapter would be too short. . .Yeah, I might've gone slightly overboard with the writing. Though on bright side, this amount of text should keep you guys satisfied until I release the next chapter. And before I forget, both justsomerealguy and Thomas Drovin correctly guessed last chapter's band, but Thomas got the name of the song correct. Congratulations on that. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this chapter.
Chapter 13 hint: This heavy metal band's former name was Brawl before it was changed when the singer was replaced (You've probably heard their music before. Think of a certain shonen anime). The name of the song is within the chapter's title (the song's a perfect fit for the chapter, don't you think).
See ya'll next time, and have a Happy Thanksgiving.