Chapter 14: Breaking The Pattern

Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion. It belongs to Hideaki Anno, Gainax, and Tatsunoko Productions. I only own the characters I made up.

"Been having this nightmare for the past few days," I explain while staring at the rectangular gravestone. I close my eyes, allowing the cool air to brush against my face, clearing my thoughts. "I'm in a completely white room, on the ground, knees pulled to my chest. I sit like that for god knows how long until a voice calls out. An overwhelming sense of dread, shame, and anger washes over me at the sound of the voice. The voice speaks to me, but I'm unable to understand anything it says. Every time it speaks, fire seems to grow beneath my skin. Eventually, I let out a scream as my fingers dig into my skin, tearing off the flesh from my bones." I open my eyes, looking at the orange hue of the sky, suggesting it's getting late. "Then, I wake up."

I look at the gravestone, as if expecting a response. Of course it gives none, for it's an inanimate object. Even in a world like this, the dead aren't much for conversation.

Honestly, I feel silly doing this. I'm just speaking to thin air. But, it's what people are suppose to do, right? Besides, I owe him this much.

This makes it the third time I've visited Shinji's grave. The first time was to confirm he was actually dead. The second time, I just muttered a little prayer for the guy. . .like that did any good. This time, I've decided to do something different. Talking. Because that's productive and not crazy in the slightest. Talking to a piece of stone representing a dead person is something only rational people do.

"Sorry I haven't been visiting much," I tell "Shinji". "I'm not really use to doing something like this. The only funeral I've ever been to was done for the class guinea pig."

I chuckle at the memory. I remember crying my little eyes out in fourth grade when the teacher told everyone the class pet was dead. Hell, the guy even showed us the body. That was a great idea! That's not sure to traumatize anyone.

"Anyway, the reason for me telling you my dream is because. . .I can't really tell anyone else." I admit freely. "Misato has enough to worry about, and I don't want to be a burden on her. Toji and Kensuke wouldn't understand. And Rei. . .I don't know why I can't tell her. I guess I still feel slightly weird around her ever since what happened during the last mission."

Again, the gravestone says nothing, yet it gives me confidence to continue. "Heh, just realized you probably have no idea who most of those people are. Well, I guess it's best to start at the beginning."

I tell the stone of how I got here. I tell it of the people I met in this world and the friends I've made along the way. I also went into great detail when speaking of the missions I would be sent on. It felt nice to freely admit there were times I felt scared, alone, or sad. Weird, I've never really talked about my experiences being in this world. I've only told Rei about how I felt from time to time; even then, it's never as often as I would like. As close as I am to the girl, I don't feel like burdening her with all my problems. Especially since my "problems" are minuscule when compared to the shit she has to go through.

Kinda sad that I had to resort to speaking to the dead in order to get my house in order.

"Sorry if I'm rambling a bit. Not use to speaking this much." I let out a chuckle before pausing for a moment. "I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Where I'm from, all of this is fictional. In my world, you and everyone else are just drawings on a page." It felt good to finally tell someone that. Sure Misato, Ritsuko, and most of the higher ups at Nerv know I'm from a different world. But, they don't know that in my world, all of this is just a tv show. "Your world was part of a show called 'Neon Genesis Evangelion' and, believe it or not, you were the main character. I never really had much interest in the show. I would tune in once in a while just to watch the giant robots fight and that's it. Also, though now I'm ashamed to admit it, I found you annoying. You always seemed reluctant to pilot, and when you did, you hated it. I didn't get it. I mean, you were the 'main character'! You piloted a giant robot that was kicking ass and taking names! What right did you have to complain?" I shake my head, thinking about how idiotic those thoughts were. "But, now that I'm the one piloting, I understand you a bit more. Piloting is hard, and no one should be forced to do that."

I let out a sigh. "Despite what you thought in your last moments, there are people who cared about you. Misato is someone who comes to mind, but I'm sure there's more. I. . .just want you to know that."

Too bad he'll never know. The dead don't talk or listen. They just lay then waste away.

Sounds of dirt crunching behind me draws my attention away from the gravestone. The person who appears makes a scowl crawl onto my face. It's Gendo.

"Pilot Hart? What an unexpected surprise." The man says, hands folded behind his back. At a distance, I can see a black vehicle surrounded by men in suits. His security I presume.

"Why are you here?" I ask bitterly. I don't talk to him much, though he's never given me a reason to speak to him. Besides, I have no desire to have a conversation with this man.

The man looks at me, then looks to Shinji's grave. "I was visiting my wife's grave to pay my respects. After a moment of doing so, I decided to also pay my son a visit."

I let out a scoff. At least he's calling Shinji his son, instead of defining him as "the pilot of Unit-01".

"Looks like you were more of a father in his death than in his life," I respond, still bitter.

The guy moves his head slightly, as if nodding. He then moves next to me just to stare at the grave. "It would seem so."

I'm frustrated. "Don't you even care?! He's dead because of you! Yet here you are, acting like someone told you your pet goldfish died!"

Gendo pauses. "I do not deny my son's death was my own doing. I do not deny that one bit. But I did what was necessary to ensure humanity's survival." He glances at me. "As for my feelings towards my son, well, I do not feel the need to wear my heart on my sleeve."

My scowl deepens. "You expect me to believe you actually cared for him? That's bull, and we both know it! You abandoned him for most of his life then only called for him when you needed to use him! Parents who care for their kids, don't do that! They don't leave their kids behind then use them to fight their own battles! Only cowards do that!"

The man once again pauses, then returns his attention to Shinji's grave. He steps forward, takes a knee, then puts his right hand on the gravestone. "Perhaps you are right. Perhaps I am a coward for allowing my son to pilot Unit-01."

A sense of confusion washes over me. He isn't denying it. Why isn't he denying it?

Gendo lowers his head, as if muttering a prayer. "Be that as it may, he is my son. As such, I must pay my respects."

I'm about to say something but sounds of footsteps interrupt me. Turning to the sound, I see Rei with a bouquet of flowers in her hands. She takes notice of me for a moment, nods, then places the flowers onto Shinji's grave. If Gendo's surprised by this action, he shows no sign of it.

After a moment of silence, Gendo speaks up. "Come Rei. It is time for us to leave."

"Yes, Commander Ikari," the girl responds in a monotone voice. She then begins to walk away from the grave and Gendo soon follows.

Gendo stops halfway through his stride then goes silent.

"The world requires sacrifice in exchange for one's goals," the man says out of the blue, back still turned to me. "You cannot gain one thing without losing another. That is something I've learned a long time ago. As such, I've been willing to sacrifice much in order to be where I am. And I will continue sacrificing in order to get to where I will be." A pause. "I wonder, what you will be willing to sacrifice to achieve your goals? And I wonder what the people around you may think once you've made your choices? Will they see a man, determined to reach his dreams? Or a monster, which cares for nothing but itself?"

The man then continues his walk to his transport. Moments later, I'm all alone.

What did he mean by that?

Taking a train to the arcade, I take a moment to think about what Gendo said to me at the graveyard. The more I thought about our short conversation, the more frustrated and confused I got.

How can Gendo claim to care about Shinji after having him thrown into battle? Okay, I get that only certain children can pilot Evas. I get that Shinji could naturally connect with Unit-01. I get that Rei was too injured to continue fighting. But what I don't get is how Gendo can abandon his own son, then pull him into a battle he's ill prepared for! Gendo treated Shinji as nothing more than a tool, yet this man has the gall to say he actually cares for his son?! What kind of sense does that make?!

Also, what was with that speech he left me with? Why bother telling me that he made "sacrifices"? What, is that the only reason he could provide for him abandoning Shinji? That pretending his son never existed was a necessary sacrifice? How? What kind of twisted logic do you need to run on in order for that to make sense?

Though, this does get me thinking. What am I willing to sacrifice in order to get what I want? Well, I want to go home, but I won't really be sacrificing anything. After all, it's only a matter of time before I get to return home. I guess the only thing I'll be sacrificing is my friendships here, which is a somber thought. But, I don't think that's what Gendo meant.

I continue getting lost in my thoughts until the train stops at my destination.

I hop off the vehicle and make my way to the arcade. When entering the arcade, I see it's practically empty. Only a few other kids are wandering around the place. Much to my surprise, Toji and Kensuke aren't here. They're always here, so what happened? I could call them to see what's up, but they're probably busy with something. I mean, why else could they not be here?

Sighing, I go to one of the machines and start playing a game. I stay in the arcade for an hour before walking home.

Entering the apartment, I expect to be totally alone. Misato's attending a wedding with Ritsuko, and Asuka's off on a date with some random guy. So I should have the place to myself. Those thoughts went straight out the window upon entering the living room. There, sitting on the couch watching tv, is a bored looking Asuka. She's still wearing her green dress, so she must've just came back from her date. Odd.

"Why are you home so early?" I ask, getting her attention.

The girl looks at me with an indifferent expression. She then shrugs. "Oh, my date was boring, so I left."

I raise an eyebrow. "Wait. You just left the guy hanging?"

She nods which gets me to chuckle.

"Wow. That's totally not a bitchy thing to do." I then head to the kitchen to see if there was any soda left.

"Of course you wouldn't understand," the girl defends. She raises her voice slightly so it could carry over to where I am. "The guy was sooo immature. He wouldn't stop talking about himself! He just kept going on and on about his accomplishments! Like that was supposed to be impressive! It was honestly annoying."

"So what you're saying, is that you both were a match made in heaven?" I retort, grabbing a grape flavored soda out of the fridge.

"Ha, ha. Very funny," the girl deadpans. I walk over to the couch the redhead's sitting on as she continues talking. " *Sigh* Guess I was right. Kaji really is the only man for me."

I take a drink of my soda then roll my eyes. "Is pedophilia legal where you're from?"

Her response is to throw a pillow at my face, nearly causing me to spill my drink. "Hey!"

"Sorry, my hand slipped," she says with a straight face.

I growl a few profanities at her as I sit on the couch. "Okay but seriously, you do realize Kaji is much older than you, right?"

What's with her obsession with Kaji? I know she likes the guy, but she doesn't seem to see the problem with trying to hook up with an adult. Hell, there were times when the guy would look extremely uncomfortable when Asuka would cling onto his waist or arm. The redhead must see that too, right?

"I know he's older, but I'm very mature for my age," the redhead states proudly. "I find it irritating dating people within my 'age group'. Every time I do, they just reveal themselves to be snot nosed brats."

"But Kaji," the girl says dreamily. "He's a real man. Which is why he's perfect for me."

Okay, so she's deluded. Let's try this at a different angle. "What exactly do you like about him?"

The girl takes a moment to think. "Well, he's handsome, smart, and charming."

I raise an eyebrow. "Is that it?"

She pouts. "You act like that's a bad thing."

I shrug. "I'm just saying, you could probably find those same traits in someone around your age."

She scoffs. "As if."

"Come on," I insist. "You'll never know until you try. And I mean really try."

She smirks. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you're suggesting you and I should date."

"Depends," I say while giving a smirk of my own. I then stand and do a "heroic" pose. "Do you like what you see?"

She laughs. "You're such an idiot."

I chuckle then got back to business. "Okay, but seriously, is that all you like about Kaji?"

She pauses. "I don't know. I mean, I guess he's nice. He always makes time for me." A frown appears on her face as her voice becomes a whisper. "At least. . .he used to."

The mood sours for a moment. I feel like I should dig for more information, but just leave things as they are. Besides, it's not like she'll tell me how she's feeling, and I'm not gonna try to push her.

I get back on the couch and look at the tv screen. "So, what you're watching?"

She scoffs. "Some romance movie taking place during the Second Impact."

"Sounds dumb," I say. The redhead nods in agreement. "I'll get the popcorn."

"Make sure it has extra butter," she responds without looking.

"Who says you're getting some?" I joke.

The girl flips me off in response, getting me to chuckle.

Sharing a bowl of popcorn, the redhead and I stare at the film being played. Just as I suspected, the movie was total garbage. The main character (can't remember his name, nor do I care) kept coming up with any excuse to take off his shirt, showing off that yes, he does work out. I'm not even kidding when I say he would jump on any opportunity to take his shirt off. A girl is eating but has no napkins? Takes shirt off. Someone's injured? Takes shirt off. About to kiss someone? Takes shirt off. The world's fucking ending?! Well, you get the idea. Asuka and I, bored to death, began tearing this movie to shreds. Any flaw or leaps in logic were pointed out, torn apart, then promptly laughed at. In the end, our verbal assault on the "film" was the only thing keeping us entertained.

After the movie ended, I felt a little hungry. In response to this hunger, I headed to the kitchen to make a short meal. Deciding to make something new, I did a quick google search on some easy Japanese recipes. Eventually, I decided on making some Teriyaki Salmon with a side of Oyakodon. They both weren't complicated to make; just needed eggs, salmon, chicken, and some other stuff. The redhead, just noticing I'm cooking, sits at the dining room table, not once questioning if the meal was for her or not. I mean, I am cooking for her as well as for myself, but I hate it when she assumes shit.

After making the finishing touches, I set the meal on the table so Asuka could have her share. After setting my portion on the table, I sit down and begin eating. The next minute is silent. The only sounds at the table is silverware interacting with plates or bowls. The way Asuka's eating is funny though. I never noticed it till now, but she takes small bites of her food; like she's afraid it's poisonous or something. Now that I think about it, she only does that when it's food I make. What, she doesn't like the food?

"When did you learn to make this?" Asuka asks while eating.

"Just now," I respond. "How is it?"

"It's good," she responds. "Though there's too much seasoning on the chicken."

"Well if you don't like it, you're free to cook next time," I smile while giving her a challenging look.

"I don't cook," she responds.

"You mean you can't cook," I retort.

"Shut up and eat," she pouts, eating a bit faster.

Silently laughing, I dig back into my meal. A moment later, my cell phone rings. Pulling the object out of my pocket, I see it's Misato calling. Raising an eyebrow, I answer the call.

"What is it old lady?" I joke, waiting for an irritated response.

"Very funny," Misato responds. Though, she sounded irritated prior to me insulting her. "Just wanted to let you know I'm gonna be home late."

"You're out drinking again, are you." I state.

"As a matter of fact I am," she responds. "You know me so well."

A devious smile appears on my face. "Is your boyfriend there?"

It takes a minute for her to realize who I am referring to. "That's none of your business!"

"So he is there," I state.

"Your an ass, you know that?" She asks.

"You know you love this ass," I respond without missing a beat.

She must've been drinking something because she just spat it out.

"Mister Hart!" says the woman, feigning being offended. "What inappropriate behavior!"

"Like you're the one to talk," I respond, chuckling a bit. I then deepen my voice as if I were older. "Now Misato have fun, but not too much fun. I expect you back home at ten sharp."

"What are you, my dad?" the woman asks, clearly amused. "Whatever, I'm hanging up now."

"Sure whatever," I respond, this time in my regular voice. "Later."

I get off the phone then look at Asuka. She's barely touched her food, just picking at it.

"So, what was that about?" The redhead asks.

"Misato's gonna be late," I inform. "She's out drinking with Kaji."

Asuka's face sours. "Is that so?" Letting out a sigh, she gets out of her chair then begins to walk to her room. "I'm full, you can put the rest of the food in the fridge."

She enters her room then closes the door. I sigh while looking at her barely touched food.

She's jealous of Misato, her reaction is evidence of that. Usually, I'll start praying that she won't make a big deal about something, but that never worked in the past. The girl always makes a big deal about things like this. All I can hope for is that this "freak out" won't be as bad as the other times. I put Asuka's food in a container then leave it in the fridge. After that, I finish eating then watch tv.

Eventually, the redhead quits sulking in her room and starts pacing around the apartment. She's been acting weird though. For the past half hour, she's been walking in and out of her room. Almost like she's having trouble deciding where to stay. When she finally quit moving around, she sat right next to me. She wasn't too close, just an arms length away, but was still closer than expected. Every moment or so, she would begin fidgeting, only stopping if I turned to look at her.

Also, I feel like she's staring at me. Though, that might be my imagination. Every time I try to caught her in the act, I find her looking at the tv with an annoyed expression. Again, I think it's my imagination. Still, I can't shake off the feeling of being watched.

"Hey Michael," the redhead says suddenly. I turn to her to see she's giving me a bored expression. "You ever kissed a girl?"

That's. . . a weird question. "No."

A smirk molds onto her face. "Not even Rei?"

I groan. "How many times do I have to say this? Me and Rei are just friends!"

The girl now seems curious. "So you two really aren't dating?"

"Of course not," I state then let out a sigh. "I know me and her hang out a lot, but that doesn't mean we're dating! We're just good friends."

"Why is that?" Asuka asks. "Why aren't you two a 'thing'? After all, you both can't seem to get enough of each other."

I grunt in annoyance before actually thinking about what she said.

"I don't know," I admit. "I mean, she's easy to talk to, and I enjoy hanging around her. . .but I just don't see her that way. The thought of having any romantic feelings for the girl just feels weird. Guess I see her more as a sister than anything else."

Asuka lets out a condescending "hah". "It just seems to me you're afraid of asking out 'Wondergirl'."

"Hey, I'm not taking dating advice from a girl who wants to bang someone twice her age."

Her eyebrow twitches, but in the end, she says nothing. Believing the conversation's over, I go back to watching tv. Only a few minutes pass before Asuka speaks up.

"You wanna kiss me?"

I choke on air as I give the redhead a bewildered look. She in turn, gives an apathetic expression, as if what she said wasn't that big a deal.

"I'm sorry, what?!" I must've had a dumb look on my face.

"You heard me," she responds, clearly amused.

"What brought this up?" I ask, butterflies bursting from my stomach.

Seriously, why am I flustered around her? She asks a stupid question, and I start acting like the goddamn apocalypse is happening! Hell, why am I giving her proposition the time of day?! I've had more than enough arguments with Asuka for me to be turned off by her!

. . .

But. . .I mean, she's not unattractive. I'd be lying if I said she was ugly. Dammit, my head isn't the one calling the shots here, is it.

"Well, I got nothing better to do," she responds.

Oh. . .so that's it. Of course she'd do something like this for that reason alone. A frown makes its way onto my face as I cross my arms. Irritation seems to be the dominant emotion as of now.

"No thanks," I say coolly. The redhead's shocked then annoyed.

"Why not?"

"Just don't feel like it."

"What's the matter, scared?" Asuka teases.

"What? No!"

She frowns. "Don't tell me you're into guys."

What- "The hell?! No, I'm not into guys!"

She gets a serious look. "Then what's the problem?"

I don't know. "I just don't like the idea of kissing someone out of boredom."

Her frown deepens. "That's what you're going with?"

I nod, eliciting a growl from her.

"That's a load of crap!" The redhead nearly yells while getting to her feet. She glares down at me while her hands slowly morph into fists. "What's the real reason?!"

Sighing, I get to my feet as well. "What are you talking about?"

"I. . .Ugh!" She looks like she's gonna pull her hair out. "What's wrong with you?! A cute girl asks to kiss you and you question it?! And if that's not bad enough, you give some half-assed excuse on why you don't even want one?! What, are you that repulsed by the very idea of kissing me?!"

I get annoyed. "Can we not do this?"

"What, you're too good for me?! You think-"

"That's enough!" I interrupt the redhead. We're not doing this! We're not gonna get into another pointless argument which will result in one of us hurting the other! I'm in no mood for this! Not tonight! "I'm not dealing with your shit tonight! This thing we got going on here is getting old! I'm tired of things escalating between us, so stop it!"

She's about to say something, but I won't let her. If she gets a word in we'll be here all night. "I don't wanna hear it! I just want this to be over. I don't get why you're so caught up on this kiss thing!"

Asuka lowers her head, causing her hair to cover her face. She stays like that for a few seconds before her face twists into frustration. She inhales deeply before letting out a yell. "You're such a JERK! ! !"

I'm use to her calling me that, but this time it got me frustrated. I'm trying to end the conflict but she keeps escalating it! The best thing to do is to just walk away.

Just as I'm about to head to my room, I hear the front door opening. The sound of someone entering the apartment stops whatever rant Asuka was gonna come up with. Standing at the entrance is Kaji carrying a clearly drunk Misato.

Seeing as Asuka and I are no longer arguing, I head to where Kaji is and look at him questioningly.

"Care to explain?"

The man chuckles. "Well, you know how she is. Can't seem to control herself around alcohol." Misato begins to stir, causing Kaji to shift his weight. "Can you show me to her room?"

A short laugh escapes me as I shake my head. "Sure. Follow me."

We make our short journey to the Major's room, where Kaji gently lies the woman down onto her bed. He lets out a tired sigh as he loosens the tie around his neck. "She's quite a handful, wouldn't you agree?"

"Yeah," I nod, then glare at the resting woman. "And she's a problem I'm gonna have to deal with."

The man laughs. "It would seem so." Me and him walk out of Misato's room. While I close the door, Kaji pats my shoulder. "Hey, she's had a long night, so you're gonna have to take care of her. Think you can do that?"

I roll my eyes. "This isn't the first time I had to deal with a drunk Misato."

The man smiles. "I'll keep that in mind."

Before Kaji can even take a step, Asuka tackles the man, clinging to his waist. As usual, the guy indulges the redhead's actions, despite how uncomfortable he looks.

"Hey Asuka. How did your date go?"

"It was boooring," the girl emphasizes. All anger she had previously, just vanished.

"Well, I'm sorry you had to go through that," Kaji says, trying to walk to the front door. "As much as I would like to stay and chat, I need to go."

"Aww, do you have to?" The girl questions, still clinging to the man's waist. Kaji eventually managed to to wiggle out of the redhead's grasp, so the girl settled with clinging to his left arm.

"Sorry, but I really need to head back to work." For the first time, the man sounds annoyed, but only slightly. Whatever happened tonight must've worn him out.

Asuka continues to cling to the man's arm as he makes his way to the front door. "You can miss work this once."

"I really can't."

The girl looks up at the man and gives a sultry look. "I'm sure you can, after all you look so tired. You can stay in my room if you want."

"Asuka," the mans says, clearly tired of the redhead's behavior. "I need to go." Asuka, seemingly getting the message, let's go of Kaji, allowing him to leave. He bids both Asuka and I farewell before exiting the apartment then closing the front door.

Asuka just stands there, staring at the front door. The simple act of Kaji pushing her away seemingly puts her into a state of shock.

The girl mutters a few words under her breath before turning to me. She has this lost look in her eyes which made it difficult to look away. I've never seen such a look on her face, it's almost disturbing. It looks like she wants to say or do something, but can't. Or maybe. . .she wants me to say or do something?

I struggle bringing forth a word or two before exhaling through my nose. There's nothing I can say to make her feel better. So, I just walk past her and open the door to my room. Before entering though, I look back to the redhead. She's still staring at me, though this time, she seems like she's trying to hide it. Hesitantly, I give her a small smile. That's about all I can do for her.

"Good night," I tell her before entering my room, closing the door.

I lay on my mattress, and hope for the best.

I can't sleep.

Every time I'm about to drift off to sleep, I'm back in that white room. Visions of me tearing of my own skin due to a mysterious voice, prevents me from getting rest. I knew the nightmares were bad, but they were never this bad. Dammit!

I lie on my mattress, just staring at a wall. It's quite a boring wall. There's no posters hanging from it or anything like that. It's just a blank, empty wall. Though, it fits with the rest of practically empty room. All my time here, and I still barely have anything in my room. Not that I could fit a lot of stuff here due to the size of this place. Still, one would expect I would at least try to fill the empty space. Guess it never crossed my mind.

Light spills into my room causing me to close my eyes, pretending to be asleep. If Misato's checking on me, I don't want her to know I'm having trouble sleeping.

"Are. . .are you awake?"

That's. . .not Misato.

I let out a yawn but still keep my back to the entrance of my room. "Now I am."

I turn to look at Asuka. She still has that depressed look. She also seems. . .I hesitate to use the word nervous. Cautious seems like a better word.

"Can I come in?" asks the girl.

I hesitate for a moment, then motion for her to enter the room. She takes cautious steps as she enters. When she's near me, she takes a seat on the floor. Seeing as I'm not getting any sleep, I sit upright on my mattress and get a better look at Asuka. A scowl paints her face as she looks in some random direction.

"This place is. . .smaller than I thought," she states.

"You get use to it," I respond. Shifting my weight on the mattress, I ask a question. "So, what brings you here?"

A pause.

"I wanted to. . .apologize earlier," she spits out. "I. . .I wasn't feeling like myself."

I think for a moment, a bit surprised she's even apologizing. "You. . .you wanna talk about what happened?"

She goes silent. The redhead's looking at anything other than me, as if ashamed she's even in this situation.

I usually don't push Asuka on things due to how stubborn she is. But, she wouldn't have come into my room if she was just going to apologize. Taking a deep breath, I steady myself. "Look, whatever's bothering you is obviously eating you up. If it wasn't, you wouldn't be here. So just. . .spit it out. I'm not gonna judge you or anything."

Beside, I probably already know what's bothering her.

The girl takes a deep breath and finally looks me dead in the eye. "It's about Kaji. I'm just. . .confused."

"Confused about what?"

"Confused on why he keeps refusing me!" Asuka almost yells. "Why he chose Misato over me!"

"Because she's a grown woman and you're still a kid," I reply bluntly.

She nearly explodes. "I'm not some kid! I'm the pilot of Eva Unit-02! I've accomplished more things than most adults could in their lifetime! I've done everything on my own, proving I'm mature enough to take on the real world! Proving that I'm a woman and not some helpless little girl!" She becomes quieter as she brings her knees to her chest. "So why can't Kaji see that?"

I let out a sigh. Why is she not getting this? "The guy is still older Asuka. Can't you understand that?" The girl scoffs as she looks away from me. "Okay, even if age wasn't an issue, the fact is that he likes Misato, not you."

"But why?!" Asuka asks, partially in anger and partially in confusion.

"I don't know!" I respond. "The woman's a slob, a drunk, and has shown nothing but disdain for Kaji! Yet, the guy still likes her." The redhead obviously doesn't like my answer. "Listen, I know you want to be with Kaji or whatever, but it's not gonna happen. You can't force others to like you. You're just gonna have to accept things as they are."

The redhead pulls her knees even closer to her chest. "So that's it, huh? Misato gets 'the man of her dreams' while Kaji leaves me behind. Abandoning me."

"Don't you start," I snap at the girl, shocking her. "Just because he wants to bang Misato doesn't mean he will 'abandon' you. He obviously cares about you. Just not in that way." I explain. " *Chuckles* I mean, he put up with your crap seemingly for years. No one who doesn't care would've done that."

Asuka deadpans. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," I reply jokenly. I then pause for a moment. "So. . .you good?"

She shrugs. "I guess."

This is still gonna bother her, I know it. No matter how many times I get into fights with this girl, I always feel bad when she seems hurt. It's paradoxical, and almost maddening. How can I care about someone I hate?

I scratch the back of my head while trying to come up with something to say. "Listen, I know we don't exactly get along, and I know I didn't exactly make things easy for you." I pause just for a moment, trying to find the right words. "I want you to know that. . .I don't hate you."

For a moment her expression changes from sadness to astonished.

"I know, that's a surprise," I tell her while shaking my head. "We're always arguing with each other. Always finding ways to get under each other's skin. Even after all that, I can't seem to bring myself to hate you. Sure I find you annoying, stuck-up, and childish. But, I never hated you, and. . .I'm sorry if it ever came across that I did."

Her jaw's hanging slightly, having a hard time believing what she's hearing.

"I'm. . .terrible with people," I admit. "I don't always know how to react with others, so I'll be sarcastic or an ass. I'm trying to fix that. I don't want us to get trapped in this pattern of us constantly tearing at each other's throats. That's not helpful to anyone."

The redhead finally says something. "Yeah. . .I guess not."

I continue. "We're Eva pilots. You know what that means? It means we're supposed to watch each other's back. We're supposed to work and depend on one another. And that shouldn't only be designated to the battlefield. It's supposed to be something we're doing on a constant daily basis."

"So, with that in mind, let's start over," I outstretch my right hand to the redhead. "Hi, I'm Michael Hart. Pilot of Unit-01, homegrown Texan, and resident asshole."

The girl looks at my outstretched hand then back to me.

"This is silly," despite what she said, she's smiling. She grabs my outstretched hand, and shakes it. "Asuka Langley Soryu. Pilot of Unit-02, German citizen, and the best pilot in the world."

That's more like her. But, I still got more to say. "Asuka, if you ever need to talk to someone about anything, you can talk to me." The girl's eyes widen. "Like I said, Eva pilots need to look out for each other. We're partners, so we need to get to know each other better. Understand?"

The girl pauses for a moment, then nods. "I'll. . .keep that in mind."

"Good," I say, feeling satisfied with myself. "Now get out of my room."

Asuka rolls her eyes. "Fine, fine. I spent too much time with you anyway." She gets to her feet and walks to the door. She pauses for a few seconds then looks to me. "Actually, can I sleep with you tonight?"

I become flustered. "What?"

She groans. "Get your head out of the gutter. I'm bringing my own mattress. I was just wondering if you're okay with me sleeping here?"

I think for a moment then nod.

"Great, will be right back," she takes another step before pausing once again. "If it's any consolation. . .I don't hate you either."

She leaves to get her mattress. Meanwhile, I sit here, feeling a sense of. . .joy.

Eventually, Asuka comes back and we both fall asleep. Again, I start having the nightmare. But, something's different. As my fingers dig into my skin, a warm feeling encompasses my right hand. The warmth spreads across my whole body as the white room vanishes, transporting me to a grassy field. I realize the warmth in my hand is another hand. An invisible force providing comfort. I hold on tight to the hand, for it's my only sign that the nightmare won't return.

I spend the rest of the dream in a peaceful slumber.

Author's Notes: Finally done with this one. It's relatively short compared to my other chapters, but I feel like it fits given that the scene doesn't change much. Anyway, I now have a ton of free time. Meaning, I have more time to spend on writing the story. Or, you know, going outside for once. Anyway, Thomas Drovin and justsomerealguy got the name of the band in last chapter correct. And to answer your question Thomas, yeah, I was referring to DBZ when talking about a "certain shonen anime". I have the movies to thank for introducing me to that band. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this chapter.

Chapter 14 hint: This band is known for mixing alternative metal and rap together (to say that their music is popular is an understatement). The name of the song is hinted in the title. I only changed one word.

See y'all next time, hopefully before New Years.