Green – Health, Safety, Harmony

1896

She breathed a sigh of contentment. On the wide bench, they only took up a fraction of the space. Cora had opted to scoot even closer than usual and disregard custom completely. She felt Robert's warm body pressed to her side and it was the cause for the complete relaxation that enveloped her.

It was late spring and the ideal weather for one of their extended morning walks. Cora was filled with a sense of joviality. After a long while, she finally felt healthy and strong again. The long walk over the greening estate posed no obstacle for her anymore after she had been so constricted and weak for so many months. The pregnancy with Sybil hadn't been quite so easy on her body as the two before, where her youth had probably helped her compensate for the extreme conditions her body was put through. And then the strugglesome birth followed, and with a healthy bundle of joy in the house that Sybil was, Cora fell into a series of illness-ridden weeks and months. Struggling to find foot again in a world of the living and healthy, Cora was tied to the bed and began fearing that this – being a regular on the doctor's schedule and never seeing her daughters but for a few minutes when they reverently paid her a visit in her sickroom – would be her future.

Today, this thought seemed to be so far it felt like another lifetime, and still, there wasn't a day where she didn't think how different her life could be if she was a little less lucky.

She put her palm on Robert's elbow joint and took a deep breath. Oh, she was so lucky! She turned her head to the side and took in Robert's profile. He was a handsome man with his strong jaw, the straight nose, and kind eyes. His dark-green felted hat threw a sharp shadow on his forehead, and Cora strained her eyes to make out his expression.

Robert felt her attention and looked at her, too. He put his warm hand over hers in the crook of his arm and his look was soft.

"It is a nice day," he stated.

"Yes. Indeed."

"Do you want to continue our walk?" he asked. "I got lost in my thoughts, I'm afraid. We sat here for a while already."

"It is absolutely all right. I do not mind the rest." Cora leaned her head against his shoulder. Only cautiously, for their hats didn't allow the tight embraces that Cora preferred for moments in private.

Robert kept his straight and strong posture. He took a few seconds before he answered. "It was too much, too straining," his voice was grave. "I should have known it. You should have said something, Cora."

"No!" she made clear before she lifted her head again. With wide eyes, she looked at him piercingly. He had to believe her. "It was not too much at all. I am very happy we took the longer route today. I missed it."

Robert's look was sceptical still. There was an expression of worry etched across his face. Only a faint smile ran over his face when she said that she had missed it.

"Robert, you have to believe that I am not sick anymore. The doctor told you so, and I tell you, too. I am fine. I am healthy and don't need to be treated differently or spared anything." She took his hands. They were so warm and strong. And for the first time in a long, hers were warm too. And maybe strong. She smiled. Squeezing his hands, she added, "Let us be happy. Everything is alright again."

He returned her smile. Not taking his eyes off her, he rubbed her hands and seemed to enjoy just looking at her so close in front of him. They were happy. Cora could clearly see it in Robert's eyes. The way he held her hands, Cora felt completely safe after living in unspoken fear – the thought of an uncertain future ever-present – for the last half year. His touch grounded her. It was not primarily that she felt his hand in hers. His touch was not the concerned brush over her perspiring brow anymore; it was not the cautious and so ginger grip around her fingers she could barely lift herself. She felt a confidence in his touch now, a certain trust in her strength. At the same time, it told her, he was there for her and he also acknowledged her sanguine state.

A light breeze brushed around them as one. Sitting so close, the wind didn't distinguish them as two people. Cora held onto Robert's hands and looked around them. The plants were in bloom and were all painted in the lushest greens. Spring was her favourite season for a reason. She liked how everything was so fresh in spring and that in spring, it felt like everything was possible. She liked the lavish splendour of English nature. If it was up to her, she wouldn't let Robert go after their morning walks, especially during these beautiful spring days. She would stay outside in the green with him all day. And if she was at it, she'd also take the girls with her. This thought brought her the greatest joy. One day, she should do it. Though, she always postponed it when she remembered the resistance she would face. Brushing these thoughts away, she took a deep inhale (or as deep as her corsetry allowed) of the nectary air that came from the cherry trees nearby. She only realised she was grinning widely, exposing her teeth, when Robert's soft voice broke the serene silence.

"Are you enjoying it?"

She nodded. "Yes. I knew why I married an Englishman with a beautiful estate." A cherry blossom landed on the brim of Robert's hat. The pale pink on the moss green felt caught Cora's eye. She extricated one hand from Robert's grip and reached up to his hat to carefully take the blossom.

"So, it was not the title after all," Robert said.

Cora tipped her head to the side to give him a look of mock annoyance but all she managed was an adoring glare. Now, they were able to joke about what made their first year so rocky, and that was what made Cora happiest about the short exchange. Their love and harmony were such a matter of course that there was no room for doubt. Not between them. And not for anyone looking upon their marriage. Lord and Lady Downton, Robert and Cora, were an enamoured couple, and everyone knew it.

They could easily joke about their unconventional start. "It was only about the estate," Cora looked into the blooming trees behind her as she finally tore her eyes from her husband. "I could not have cared less about who Lord Downton was," she teased. It was far from the truth.

"Oh, really?" His tone held little credulity.

"I didn't even know whether he was blonde or bald when I agreed to marry him," Cora continued the non-sensical farce she made up.

"I believe you were in for quite the shock then, when you had to walk down the aisle." Robert played along. Cora had to hold in a grin as she happily noticed him humouring her. Her eyes were still directed at a faraway point opposite from him. Her hand lay loosely in his palm as she feigned to leisurely muster the rose garden with no interest in her conversation partner.

"Oh, I didn't expect him to be a dodderer but marrying an old man is all right if he has such nice rose gardens and orchards to offer."

"Cora, I'm three years older!" He eventually lost his countenance.

She turned to him laughingly. His upset face amused her. Of course, he was no old man at all. He had the appearance of a young boy much more often, in fact.

Just when she was about to put in an appeasing word, she saw Nanny coming down the gravel path behind Robert. Apparently, she was using the nice weather to take Sybil on a walk. The white pushchair attracted all of Cora's attention, and she forgot everything they were talking about as it rolled toward them. Her little Sybil.

Robert noticed Cora's attention and look wandering off and turned around to see what was occupying her.

When the nanny was approaching them, she was slowing down a bit and smiled unsurely at her employers. She seemed unsure whether she had to interrupt her walk with the little girl in the pushchair. Cora didn't leave her wondering long.

"Nanny Evans. How is our little Sybil doing?"

She pulled her hands into her lap and ignored the fact that she was still sitting too close to her husband.

The nanny halted next to the bench and answered dutifully, "She is doing very well, milady. She's a real sunshine today again. But she always is."

Cora smiled. She really was. Her little Sybil was such a joy.

"Are we interfering severely with your walk, Nanny?" Cora asked.

"Of course not, milady."

"I wouldn't want to disturb your schedule, but I would love to have a little time with her." Cora craned her neck to glance into the pushchair, without success.

"Very well, my lady," Nanny said but she didn't seem to know what to do with Cora's wish. Eventually, she steered the pushchair onto the lawn and in front of the bench. Then, she awkwardly waited next to the baby for what would happen.

"Could you leave her with us? We would bring her back inside in a few minutes," Cora clarified.

Nanny Evans bowed her head and retreated to the path. "My lady. My lord."

As the nanny walked back to the house, Cora stood up and approached the white pushchair. Euphoric joy rushed through her veins. To have her little girl so close and to herself for once. The soft cooing coming from the pushchair put her in even more anticipation and it gave her breasts a light tweak. But she was no wetnurse. She knew it, just her body didn't.

Once she bent over the sheltered basket, the familiar big blue eyes stared up at her with so much curiosity and serenity. Cora's face broke into a big smile. Sybil had her little fist in her mouth and didn't let herself be bothered but continued gnawing at her own hand. Cora remembered that the nanny mentioned yesterday that Sybil might be teething.

"Hello, my little angel. Hm, baby girl? Did Mama nip more 'Sybil time'?" she cooed at her baby. With big eyes, Sybil looked up at her without blinking, and Cora saw the green treetops reflecting in Sybil's eyes. "Come here, my dear," she breathed as she picked her up. She sat back down next to Robert, with Sybil on her lap.

"You are very forward," he mentioned, referring to the exchange with the nanny.

She ignored him and brushed over Sybil's dark shock of hair with one hand. The other held the soft baby belly close to her own body.

"Your Papa is also very happy to have you with us now," she said down to Sybil.

"Yes. I am," he insisted to make Cora believe him. She looked up and smiled at Robert. Then, she extended her free hand and he took it. "I am," he repeated in a softer tone and his eyes got lost in Sybil's curious stare. Cautiously, he put the index finger of his other hand forward and nudged the chubby fist of Sybil that wasn't buried in her cheek. After a while, the little girl opened her fist and grabbed her father's finger with determination. Her cooing sounds bubbled past her drool-covered hand and grew into more pointed articulations directed at Robert. She started rocking in Cora's lap as if she tried to bob closer to Robert.

Robert's placid expression turned into one of confusion. He looked up at Cora questioningly. "What does she mean? What does she want?"

Cora chuckled. "She is happy to see you."

Robert didn't seem to be convinced by her answer. "She could just smile then, couldn't she?"

"You sound just like your mother or Rosamund," Cora noticed. "She is happy, Robert. I don't only smile either when I am happy to see. There is nothing wrong with being expressive."

Robert looked at Cora as he considered her words. He mustered her face and got a thoughtful expression before Cora saw realisation dawn on his face. He smiled.

"No, there is nothing wrong with it." He pulled his hand out of her grip and brushed his knuckle over her cheek.

"Now you hold her."

Her demand seemed to come rather unexpectedly for him. He looked surprised. "Why? You two look quite nice."

"Come on. You would make her even happier."

"Maybe I would make you happier," he remarked.

She only looked at him challengingly and nearly immediately saw him yield.

He seemed a little apprehensive when Cora transferred the baby onto his lap, but he did quite well. After all, it wasn't the first time he held a baby. Cora realised it wasn't such a regular occasion either, though.

Robert and Sybil quickly warmed up to the new situation. It turned out to not only be Cora's fault they were getting back to the house late.