This chapter was based on a request that had several things listed. I chose three and incorporated them into one short story. Or at least I tried to. Hopefully I covered what I could. They included: a dinner at Pat's, Christmas and Jay proposing to Emma. This is a sweet chapter. Liam is five. Next week is another gentle chapter. I think I'll have enough chapters with some broken into two parts to last for another couple of months...maybe.
The Strength of Love and Family
This wasn't Jay's idea, nor did he think of it as a good one, as he walked towards his childhood home on Christmas Eve night. But at two votes to one, he had been overruled. For some reason Emma loved his father, Pat, and the feeling appeared to be mutual. And of course Liam, the apple of Pat's eye was absolutely adored.
Jay juggled some of the food that Emma had cooked while she carried a bag of gifts except for Liam's handmade present that he insisted on carrying. This was their first Christmas together as a couple. Usually Jay went to Emma's for Christmas Eve, they ate dinner together, and both put Liam to bed. Then Jay would pick Liam up in the afternoon, on Christmas Day for time at his place. This past spring when Emma stated that she had needed to return to Ireland, Jay found he couldn't let her go and begged her to stay. It was then he discovered that leaving was the last thing that Emma wanted to do and she broke down and told him her entire story.
Jay reached out to a few people who gave him advice on how to stay hidden, while others flagged passports belonging to her family only to discover they were already flagged by those with much greater reach and power. It turns out her family had already been on the no-fly list for a number of years. However there were ways around everything, but there was no way that her leaving was going to help anyone in their small family so she stayed and Jay remained on high alert at all times.
They had moved in together during Liam's summer vacation and it was going rather well; Jay had never felt this happy in his entire life, but he couldn't help waiting for the other shoe to drop—or come in with guns blazing.
"Grandpa," Liam cried out running towards Pat. "I made you this," he said thrusting a wrapped present his direction. The five-year-old had even wrapped it himself, using more tape and paper than was necessary but on the other hand there was no danger the gift was going to fall from its confines.
"For me?" Pat asked with an exaggerated voice.
"Do I have any presents?" He asked peering around as they went inside.
"I'm not sure, I think there might be a few," he replied. "Pretty sure there was a guy here earlier with a white beard that said something about dropping off some things early just for you." Pat said, his voice full of Christmas cheer.
Jay shook his head as he peered into the living room that had quite a few things under the tree, of which he suspected were ninety percent Liam's. He sighed loudly as Liam struggled with the zipper on his coat. He wasn't sure what to think when he watched his father with his son. His turmoil of emotions touched on frustration, happiness, jealousy and even anger. He wasn't sure which one he was feeling now.
If Pat had spent half the effort on being a good father as he did grandfather, perhaps Jay wouldn't feel such a loss when they got together. It was as if Pat had held back everything wonderful from Jay's childhood and saved it for later, leaving Jay and Will to survive on crumbs while Liam got the entire meal. But how could Jay be upset that his son was on the receiving end of a happy and giving grandparent, as Pat was the only one the boy would ever know.
"What? Let me spoil him a little. He's my only grandchild. I don't see your brother remedying that anytime soon. How about you guys? Ready for a second one?"
"Oh Pat," Emma began, "Liam is more than a handful as it is."
"Well, he'll do just fine," he said watching as Liam finally conquered his zipper and flung his coat to the floor and ran towards the Christmas tree.
"Are these for me?" The boy asked, excitement dripping from his voice.
"Some are for your mom and dad. You have to read the tags on there." Pat said.
"I can read my name," Liam proclaimed proudly. "And Mom and Dad."
"But we're going to eat first," Emma called out.
"Aww man," Liam replied dejectedly.
"You can open one," Pat said pointing to a big box.
"Dad, Emma just said he had to wait," Jay interjected.
"Jay, don't ruin our night," replied Pat, his eyes never leaving his grandson.
Jay was about to respond when Emma bumped him with her hip. "Help me get this all set up for dinner."
Jay glanced over as his son tore wrapping paper from a box and then shot a glare at his father who wasn't paying the least bit of attention to him. He made his way to the kitchen and set down the bags in his hands. "I don't like him undermining us."
"He's a grandparent, it's what they do, it's part of what makes them grandparents. Besides it will keep Liam out of our hair for a minute and maybe he'll actually sit down and eat."
"We brought most of the food, why didn't we just have this at our house?"
"Because he wants to celebrate in his own house and he'll be at our place tomorrow. Doesn't this bring back nice childhood memories for you?"
"Not really," Jay grumbled.
"I think you had some rough times, but I think you had some good ones too, but you refuse to remember those, because then you couldn't be so upset with your father all the time."
"Is now the best time to psychoanalyze me?"
Emma sighed and went over and gave Jay a kiss. "Just try and cut him some slack, for me, for Liam. Please?"
"I'll try," Jay said as he began to unpack the food.
"Look what I got!" Liam exclaimed as he ran into the kitchen with a large spaceship looking thing. "It's a rocket ship and makes noise," he said as he pushed a button and loud roar emanated from the object.
"So much noise," Emma said with a tight smile. Liam giggled and ran off with his new toy, roaring right along with it.
"I'm not sure our place is big enough for both him and that toy," Jay said watching his son depart.
Dinner went well, despite Liam gobbling down his food and nagging for everyone to hurry so he could open more presents. Pat had ordered a turkey breast from the local butcher shop and his neighbor gave him guidance on how to cook it. Emma managed to rescue it from the oven just in time before it got too dry. She and Liam munched on the side dishes, neither fond of meat, while the men ate everything and took much too long in Liam's opinion to finish their meal. But with their mouth's full, neither Pat or Jay could say much to upset the other and overall it was a peaceful meal.
Saving dessert, a cake and a pie that Pat purchased from the bakery down the street, for later, Liam dove back into his pile of presents. His eyes sparkled, his face glowed in the manner only a child on Christmas could achieve. The adults passed around a few gifts, Pat thrilled with his new White Sox jacket and Emma ecstatic with her new stand-up mixer.
"Pat this is too much, these cost a fortune," Emma gushed as she held the box.
"You cook and bake all the time. You need one. Besides, I know a guy." Pat replied, pleased that his gift was so well received.
"Here Grandpa," Liam said as he handed over his gift. "I maked it myself."
"Made," Jay corrected.
"I made it myself," Liam repeated.
Pat took his time opening the gift and found it to be an airplane made of popsicle sticks and painted blue and black. "I painted it too!"
"This is fantastic." Pat exclaimed turning it over in his hands.
"Mommy helped with the gluing because I make a mess."
"Well, I think it is amazing and I will put it right here on the shelf for everyone to see," he said struggling a bit to get up. "There, the perfect spot." He said setting on the front of a nearby bookshelf.
Jay looked at Emma's gift as he hadn't had one of his own from his father and agreed it would be a great addition to their kitchen, as Emma was always mixing something or other.
"I didn't forget about you son," Pat said as Jay handed the box back.
"It's okay, I don't need anything."
"I know, but Christmas isn't about what you need—it can be about what you want." Pat, who was still by the bookshelf, reached down and pulled a box from atop the books on the bottom level and gave it to Liam to give to his father. Liam took his job seriously and very carefully walked the box to his father, who took it with a bit of apprehension. His father had never been one for gifts, giving or receiving. His mother had always done all the purchasing and once she passed away, it was only Liam that had been gifted much of anything.
"Open it Daddy," Liam encouraged looking at the mysterious box.
Jay wasn't sure what to think, so he took his time, loosening the tape and slipping the reindeer wrapping paper off. Inside was a box, inside the box was another glass and wood box that held three badges. One was a bronze colored star the next was a silver star and the final one was a silver circle with points indicating a star sticking out, somewhat like the very badge he carried.
"That bronze one is from the early 1800's," Pat pointed out. The other one is from around 1905 and that final is from the 1950's. I thought they were a nice piece of history that you might find interesting."
Jay was speechless. Not only did he get a gift from his father, it was well thought out and meaningful.
"Do you like it?" Pat asked uncertainty in his voice.
"I do. I—I, they are amazing." Jay said, his eyes not leaving the gift.
"I don't know, I thought you might like some history from your job. Just seemed like something you'd like."
"I do like them Pop, I don't know what to say."
"You are 'posed to say thank you," Liam supplied.
"You're right son." Jay told Liam. "Thank you so much, I love them."
"Gladys down at the pawn shop helped me out and found me the box. She thought they'd look good on the dark velvet liner."
"It's perfect Pat." Emma said gazing over, admiring the gift.
"Will you put your badge in there?" Liam asked Jay.
"I have to wear mine, but maybe one day when I retire I'll put it in here."
"Well I have just one more present for someone named Liam, is there a Liam here?" Pat asked moving on.
"Me, me!" Liam said jumping up and down.
"Pat, it's too much already." Emma said before Jay could.
"He's my grandson, the only one it looks like I'm going to have. Let me spoil him." He said as he disappeared towards the back of the house and came back with a bicycle.
"A bike, it's a bike," Liam screeched running over to it.
"He has one at home," Jay reminded.
"But he doesn't have one here. I remember when you and your brother were small, sitting on the front porch watching you ride up and down the block. I want to do that with my grandson."
Jay had scrunched up his face as if he was trying to remember.
"You had that blue bike, the first new one that wasn't a hand-me-down, I think you were six. You'd ride up to the corner, stop, get off, turn the bike around and ride to the other corner."
"I remember that," Jay said. "Then you let me go around the block, but I wasn't allowed to stop anywhere like Will could."
"Not until you were a bit older."
"I don't need the extra wheels Grandpa," Liam said looking at the attached training wheels. "Daddy teached me how to ride alone." Liam pointed out.
"Wow, that's great," Pat said. "I'll take them off before you come back."
"Can I ride down to the corner like my daddy did?"
"When it gets a little warmer outside you sure can."
"And you'll watch me?"
"All the way there and all the way back."
With Liam mesmerized with his new bike and Emma gathering up their dishes to take home, Jay and Pat sat down on the couch. "The badges are great. Thank you." Jay offered, genuinely touched by the gift.
"You're welcome son. I can't say I'm thrilled you are a cop, especially with a little one," he said turning in Liam's direction, "but I am proud of you."
"You are?"
"Of course I am. When are you going to put a ring on her finger?" He said, suddenly changing the subject.
"Emma?"
"You got another woman I don't know about?"
"Of course not. I don't know. I mean I've thought about it. But we haven't been officially together for very long." In truth Jay had thought of nothing but popping the question for the last two months.
"Pfft. You need to ask her son, I've seen the way you look at her."
"I don't know that she would say yes," Jay replied, wondering if she would feel trapped by marriage considering her near flight earlier in the year.
"Oh, I think she would say yes."
"What makes you so sure?"
"Because I've seen the way she looks at you."
"And how is that?"
"The same way you look at her."
Christmas morning dawned early with Liam jumping on their bed, ready to unwrap his bounty that was under their tree, not that he needed much as Pat had showered him with enough gifts for the year. They did manage to leave some behind at his house for Liam to play with when he was there. But the truck had been full on the way home and thankfully, Liam had fallen asleep so there was no concern about getting him to bed on Christmas Eve.
However that led him to be up now at six a.m. ready for round two. He ripped and roared through the wrapping paper, wanting to put everything together as soon as he laid eyes on it, but before anyone could object, he would move on to something else. Jay had bought Emma a nice pair of earrings and two books that she had on her must read list. She had purchased him two tickets for a Blackhawks game and encouraged him to go with his father. She also got him a fancy beer mug that had a lid, a stein she thought they called it.
Liam ended up with a race track and several cars, a new baseball glove for his five-year-old hand. A Cubs jersey and hat, along with many other items, large and small.
Jay still had something else he wanted to give Emma, but he decided to wait for the right moment. He cleaned up the living room from wayward wrapping paper and boxes as Emma showered. She was going to start cooking Christmas dinner and Pat was to join them at 2:00.
Around 11:00 things were going smoothly, Jay was helping where he could in the kitchen while Liam was playing with his new building blocks when Pat called.
Emma could only hear one side of the conversation as Jay spoke. "Why not? But Emma's planned dinner, including that beef roast you like and you know how she doesn't like to cook meat. I can come get you."
"What's the problem?" She asked quietly.
Jay put the phone on mute and told her that Pat said he was tired and he was going to stay home, but thank you for last night.
She quickly called Liam into the room and whispered in his ear as she heard Pat argue he was capable of driving himself, but he had had enough Christmas last night. "Give Liam the phone," she instructed so Jay did as she asked, handing it off to his son.
"Grandpa you HAVE to come. I want to SHOW you all my new toys AND I'm going to draw you a picture, a CHRISTMAS picture. I'm going to use my new art set that I got. PLEASE, PLEASE COME!" Liam looked up at Emma who gave him thumbs up before he handed the phone back to Jay.
"Okay, we'll see you then. Let me know if you want me to drive you. I know you aren't. Bye."
"He's coming?"
"He is, though he hung up on me." Jay said causing Emma to laugh.
"You better go make Grandpa that picture you promised him," Emma told Liam as she pulled out the potatoes.
Liam took off on his new mission while Jay began to peel the potatoes.
Emma tried to keep the dinner conversation on neutral territory as two consecutive days together were beginning to take their toll on the Halstead men; only Liam seemed to lighten the mood.
"Daddy put his new, old badges on the shelf over there and I'm not allowed to touch them," Liam piped up when the Cubs versus White Sox debate was beginning to heat up.
"Very nice," Pat grumped.
"Where did you find them?" Emma asked.
"Pawn shops, antique places. I found one and then kept going. I know cops are careful with their badges so they weren't that easy to find."
"Can I have your badge when you're all done being a police officer?" Liam asked Jay.
"Sure," Jay agreed knowing the boy would forget all about it in five minutes.
"I think it was a fantastic idea," Emma chimed in, nodding at Pat.
"Liam did you give Grandpa his picture?"
"Yep, with the Christmas tree and reindeer and everything on it."
"I should go," Pat said standing up from the table.
"I have dessert." Emma announced. "I made the lemon bars that you like. Besides I need to get you some leftovers to take home."
"I guess I can't say no to that," Pat admitted stopping in his tracks.
Jay had broken out in a cold sweat, because he knew the time was now. The box containing the ring sat like a lump in his pocket, much like the lump in his throat. He had asked Will for the ring over a month ago and each day had ended with the question unasked. He supposed he could thank his father for the push, whether it was what he intended or not, he made Jay feel inadequate for not already having asked.
His love for Emma was resolute and he no doubt concerning it. But it was her past circumstances that he feared. Not for himself, but for her, for Liam. How would he choose between her and their child. To truly put Liam first she should flee, pretend the last six years never happened. But neither could seem put that into action and she often cursed Jay for existing and creating this morass of emotions and attachments that she had never planned on.
But what and who would Liam become without his mother. She was vital to his existence, his happiness. Jay could raise him, but he wouldn't be the same child without her and wouldn't turn out to be the same adult in the years to come if her steadfast guidance and love were absent. Jay only knew how to drive in a straight line and Emma knew how to handle the curves. Together they were a great team, him alone could spell crushing disaster.
He cleared his throat, no more waiting, no more second guessing. It was time. "Emma, I have something that I have been waiting to give you." Pat looked over with his eyebrows raised and sat back down, signaling for Liam to sit in his lap.
In a shaky voice Jay began. "I can't imagine a life where I don't wake up next to you, where I don't go to sleep beside you. These last months of being together have shown me that there is no one else that I'd rather be with and I can only hope that you feel the same.
"We work well together, and have made something beautiful," he continued sneaking a glance at Liam who was in his grandfather's lap trying to understand what was happening.
"Without you there would be an emptiness in my soul that could never be filled. So, will you marry me?" Jay asked pulling the box with his mother's ring out of his pocket and offering it to Emma.
Pat could tell that Emma had not expected this. Mary, his late wife, had desperately wanted one of the boys to have the ring to give to his wife and it was to go to whomever married first. Will must have retrieved it for Jay because Pat knew nothing about it.
Emma's fair skin turned red, and it looked as if beads of sweat had begun to form. She had always seemed happy with Jay, but perhaps marriage wasn't what she had in mind. These kids today, didn't seem to think that part was important. They had kids willy-nilly and then stayed together or didn't, it was all very disheartening.
All Emma could think of was the danger that she was imposing on Jay and Liam. But what did it matter if they were married or not, the lack of paperwork wouldn't save Jay if she was discovered. And another name change would be an additional layer to her disguise. And if she was going to leave she should have done it already. She had tried but she couldn't, instead they moved in together. She just didn't have the fight within in her to abandon the two people she loved most in the world, even if it meant possible danger. She thought after she told him he would encourage her departure but instead he insisted they move in together. Still not daring to hope for any sort of permanence she expected that he would come to his senses and send her on her way. But now he has asked the one question she dared never to dream of.
She looked at Jay, who's eyes looked concerned as she realized it had been a minute since the proposal. Liam was going to say something but Pat gently shushed him. Jay had the ring and was poised to place it on her finger, only waiting for confirmation to his request.
"Yes. Yes I'll marry you. A thousand times yes."
Pat stood up holding Liam as Jay slid the ring on Emma's finger and then pulled her into an embrace. Liam sensing a celebration began to clap, even though he no idea what he was cheering for.
"Congratulations! About time son. I thought you might let her get away." Pat said as he set Liam down and went to hug Emma. "Well done son," he said quietly into Jay's ear on his way to Emma, "well done."
Jay hadn't heard those words in a very long time, if ever from his father and he couldn't help but savor them.
The doorbell rang and Liam charged off to answer it before anyone could stop him. Will was at the door with gifts and the swirl of snow blowing behind him. "Daddy asked Mommy a question and she said yes a thousand times," Liam explained as Will came inside and closed the door behind him. He set the presents down, took his coat and boots off, and joined the fray.
"Sorry I'm late; I had a case just before I was going to leave the hospital. What's the celebration about?" Will asked having worked the last night and much of the day.
"We're getting married," Emma announced showing off the ring to Will.
"Yeah? Congratulations you guys. That's great. And I even brought a bottle of wine for the dinner that I missed, so now it can be for the celebration."
Liam, who adored his Uncle Will, was standing next to him and tugged on his shirt, causing the man to bend down. "Why are we having a party?"
"Your mom and dad are getting married." But Liam seemed nonplussed. "They are going to be husband and wife." Liam still seemed lost. "They are making a promise to live together forever," Will tried.
"Oh. Yay!" Liam said jumping up and down. "I get to stay too right?"
"Of course love," Emma said as Jay picked him up and they shared a group hug. "We will be a family forever." She said, trying to live in the moment with no thoughts of her dark past.
Pat sat back and watched the joy in front of him. He was happy for them. Despite their differences, Pat wanted nothing but happiness for Jay. Emma was a good woman and a fantastic mother. But love had blinded Jay, Emma was definitely concealing something, something that didn't allow her to be fully present in life, regardless of her best efforts. Maybe one day she would be able to share it or Jay would understand enough to demand to know or maybe he already knew and it didn't matter, strengthening their relationship that much more. Pat knew that love can be stronger than everything when it needs to be.