Rose felt her body tremble as she stood there in that one spot, her eyes taking in the one man that she had wanted to see but knew that she would never see again. The one man that owned her heart, lock stock, and barrel, not dead but alive! Right here in his childhood town! In his childhood home! It was like she had been led here by some benevolent force, but for some reason, she couldn't make her body move. She couldn't stretch her hands out to touch warm skin, afraid that he'll disappear and this entire scene would dissipate, like some dream...a dream that she was too afraid to hope to be real.
"It's...how...I...I saw you sink...you wouldn't wake up and the ocean swallowed you...how can you be here now?" Rose questioned, not feeling the tear that was now sliding down her cheek, the memory of her attempt to wake him still so fresh as if it had just been the day before.
Jack swallowed down his own shock, forcing his legs to move at least a little, making his approach slow and unsure, positive that she'll disappear like a ghost if he moved too fast. "I woke up...I was underwater and woke up, but when I got to the surface...you were gone. A boat picked me up out of the water...and I was in the infirmary with a slight case of hypothermia...but you weren't on the list. I looked, but there was no Rose Dewitt Bukater on the list of survivors…"
"She took your name, amico," Fabrizio chimed in with the explanation. Tears and happiness for his friend shone in his eyes. "She was Rose Dawson. That why you couldn't find her."
"You took my name?" Jack asked, now standing in front of her, a hand reaching out to cup her cheek. His own eyes filled with tears as he felt soft warm flesh fill his trembling hand. She was solid, she was real. This was not yet another dream that haunted his days and nights since the sinking had happened.
"It helped me hide from Cal and mother...it was the only way to keep my promise. They would have had me dragged back to first-class if I kept Dewitt Bukater," Rose nearly choked on her own tears, realizing that Jack was indeed real as she felt his warm hand touch her cheek. He hadn't disappeared this time. He was right there in front of her, touching her, talking to her. His blue eyes stared into her own, piercing her aching soul. This moment was all she had ever wanted, all she had ever dreamed and it was real!
"I thought...I thought I had lost you forever," Jack's other hand took hold of her hand, linking his fingers with hers.
"I thought I'd never see you again...I wanted to die, but...I knew you wouldn't have wanted that. I knew you would want me to keep the promise you had me make...and I tried, Jack. I really tried...but it was so hard…"
"Rose…"
"I have so much to tell you..."
"We'll leave you to it, yeah?" Tommy cleared his throat, feeling awkward. He held his hand out to Lily, feeling that it'd be best for Jack and Rose to be alone for this. "Lily, lass, why don't you come to the kitchen. I have some milk and cookies for ya."
Lily looked at Rose as if asking if that would be okay. Rose just nodded, thankful to Tommy for the idea. She had no idea how she was going to explain how Lily came to be in her custody, but she felt better about Tommy taking Lily to do something fun while she discussed everything with Jack.
"I guess I'll show myself out...unless the young lady needs me to take her and the child back to town…," Joseph hesitated, not thinking that he would be needed, but feeling that he should make the offer anyway.
"That won't be necessary, Joe, but thank you," Jack turned to his old friend, thankful that once again he was instrumental in the most important reunion of all. Not only had he been there when he found Tommy and Fabrizio again, but he was bringing Rose back into his life as well.
The young clerk just nodded his head with a small wave and left, leaving just Jack and Rose in the room, just staring into each other's eyes, soaking up the presence that they had missed so much.
It was Rose who broke the spell first.
"You're alive. You're really alive. I didn't even dare to dream that you'd be here…"
"So are you...I thought I had lost you somehow. Whether Cal had found you or the sea had somehow claimed you after all...I thought you were gone forever...but you're here…," Jack's hands were now entangled in her hair, lost in the soft silkiness of her curls. A smile was plastered on his face as he stepped closer to her, reveling in her warmth.
Rose couldn't take it anymore. She was so close, close enough to feel the heat from his body, the gentle touch of his hands, and smell the scent of charcoal and soap that spoke of Jack actually being there and not some ghost or figment of her imagination. Despite all of that, her mind was still refusing to believe it to be true, that her Jack was back. A part of her still expected him to disappear at any moment. Feeling as if she was moving through water, she stepped forward and pressed her lips against Jack's in a chaste, lingering kiss, a part of her thinking that he'll disappear as soon as their lips touched.
But he didn't disappear. In fact, his lips pressed against hers in return, and his arms wrapped around her fully, holding her close against his solid body, cementing the fact that he was indeed real. He wasn't some phantom that was going to disappear at a moment's notice. A sob erupted from her as her arms wrapped around him in a tight hug, nearly clinging to him, so if he disappeared, he would have to take her with him.
The need for oxygen finally caused the kiss to end, but they remained in each other's arms, not ever wanting to be apart again. Rose laughed through her happy tears as she gazed into Jack's own tear-filled blue eyes.
"This is real. You're really here," She rested her forehead against his, feeling her whole body relax in his embrace. For the first time since the sinking, since her traveling from town to town in search of somewhere to make a home for Lily and herself, she had finally found it. She had finally found home in Jack's embrace.
"This is real," Jack confirmed with a chuckle of his own. "Even though, I've been dreaming of this moment for about a year now. You showing up on my doorstep, all beautiful and alive….all of that is coming true now."
"I never even dared to dream…"
"Come, sit. There's so much to talk about," Jack lead her over to the couch releasing her from the embrace but keeping their hands connected.
Rose settled back onto the couch as Jack took the seat next to her. Their hands were still clasped together, the need to keep touching each other was almost overwhelming.
"What happened, Rose? I mean...how did you get here with a child? She's from steerage, right? I remember seeing her in there…," Jack began the conversation.
"Well, after I watched you disappear under the sea and I slipped off the door and swam over to a dead officer with a whistle in his mouth...I used that whistle to get the attention of the departing lifeboat. They turned around and got me….when I boarded the Carpathia, I think I was in shock. I could just sit there under a blanket and stare into nothingness. I was alone and cold...I had no idea where I was going to go or what I was going to do. My mind was completely blank for hours...until I saw him...I saw Cal. I thought he was down there looking for me. So I made sure that the blanket covered my hair and that he didn't see my face. That was when I heard him tell the officer that he wanted to check on the child that he had boarded with...that was when I got curious. I mean, I was not surprised that he'd use an innocent child to save himself. I mean...well you know Cal and how selfish he is. He would never save anyone unless it benefited him. So I followed him, keeping a few steps between us so he wouldn't notice...that was when I overheard him ask the officer about the child. He was just going to abandon her to live in a children's home…
"I couldn't let that happen, Jack. I couldn't just leave her to grow up as an orphan...so once Cal left, I entered the room and told the officer that the child...Lily, was my sister. He almost didn't believe me, but seeing my red hair and a lame explanation of why I didn't sound like I was from Ireland, he allowed me to take her. Then...right before we docked, the officer asked our name and that was when I said that our last name was Dawson...Rose and Lily Dawson. I...I didn't think you would mind...I thought you'd want me to use it...to ensure that I got away from Cal…"
"Of course, I don't mind, I'm honored really. And explains why I wasn't able to find you myself."
"After the Carpathia docked...Lily and I remained in New York for only a few weeks and then we began to travel. I was her mother and she was my child. Lily and Rose Dawson…"
"So you were rising her, all by yourself."
Rose simply nodded. "I had no idea how hard it was to be a mother, especially by oneself. I mean...she depends on me to take care of her. To make sure she had clothes and good food...that she was safe and loved and...oh my god...it's the hardest thing I've ever done Jack. But taking care of Lily, loving her...it kept me from drowning in the grief of losing you. I couldn't let my grief take me over because that child depended on me...she needed me and...I needed her. I love her so much, Jack."
"I can tell. Your eyes just light up when you talk about her and they never left her when Tommy took her into the kitchen."
"I know that I'm not her mother...that I didn't give birth to her...but…"
"She's yours. It doesn't matter if you gave birth to her or not. What you've done for her, it's what a mother would have done so that makes you her mother now. That and the way you feel about her. The rest of it doesn't matter."
Rose smiled, feeling good that Jack seemed to understand her. No one had ever understood her motivations as Jack had and it made her feel good that he still understood her. That hadn't changed. "I know that a child wasn't part of the plan when I said I'd get off the ship with you. This wasn't what you had in mind, but I love her the way I wished my own mother had loved me and I can't abandon her. I'm a packaged deal now, Jack. I hope that's okay...if it's not…"
"But it is! It is! You want Lily, so I want her too. That is if you'll have me. We can raise her together if that's what you want."
Rose found herself speechless. She didn't know what to say! She hadn't really allowed herself to even consider what Jack's reaction would have been to Lily. To not only find him alive and well, still in love with her, but also accepting of Lily and ready to raise her along with Rose...it was more than a dream come true!
"Jack...you don't have to. I mean...you don't even have to take me back if you don't want to. I just came here to find out about your childhood...if this isn't what you want, I more than understand…"
Jack sighed and shook his head. Why wasn't Rose getting what he was saying? He had spent a full year without Rose, a full year of loving her, wanting her, missing her. There was nothing more that he wanted than to be with her and whatever came with her, whether that was an orphaned child or damaged history. He'd take it all, just as long as he could be with her.
"I do want this Rose. More than anything. I want you and I want Lily. We can have a good life here, Rose. We can give Lily a good life here. I mean, I had a happy childhood in this house, in this town. I didn't leave because I had a painful childhood. It was the best anyone could have and I'd love to give that to Lily. She's lost so much, I'd love to give her something that will add more good memories than bad ones. Yeah, she had lost her family on Titanic, but you and me, we can give her a mommy and daddy again. Uncles in Tommy and Fabri. Siblings if we have kids ourselves. You and I can build her a new family...I want to build her a new family, with you. That is if that's what you want…"
Tears were spilling from Rose's eyes, and a smile brightened her face as she eagerly nodded. "It is. It is what I want. She didn't deserve to be abandoned like Cal wanted to. She deserves a family. A mommy and a wonderful daddy like you and she already knows Tommy...he can tell her about Ireland and Fabri can be a great Uncle too…"
"Well then, we'll do it. The five of us here," Jack kissed her hands, all the gloom of the past finally leaving him completely.
"I love you, Jack. I never stopped."
"I love you too, Rose. I always will. From now on it's you jump, I jump. I promise."
Looking into his eyes, Rose knew that he meant every word. He wanted a life with her and Lily. From now on, there would be no more wandering from town to town, looking for a home. Home was right here in Chippewa Falls, in the loving warmth of Jack's eyes.
"Momma Rose?" Lily stood in the doorway leading into the kitchen, a glass of milk in her hands. "When are we going home?"
Rose looked at Lily, her smile warm and happy. "We are home, Lily. We've finally come home."
