Chapter 25: My World Is Crumbling Down

Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion. It belongs to Hideaki Anno, Gainax, and Tatsunoko Productions. I only own the characters I made up.

"Mirrors are the devil's domain."

I heard someone say that a long time ago. Though, I guess due to the amount of time that has passed, I nearly forgot who originally made that statement. Now. . .now I remember why those words stuck with me.

It was the last thing grandma said before she died.

I was never close to grandma and neither was my brother. We rarely visited the old woman, and we were both so young the last time we saw her. Honestly, it's surprising that I remember her at all. Guess it took being dragged into another world to be reminded of her.

Anyway, what little I do remember of grandma was that she wasn't "all there".

Grandad had died years before Shane and I were born, so grandma lived alone. When mom took us to meet grandma, the old woman would go on weird tangents or sometimes talk to people who weren't there. The woman was nice, and was never quick to anger, but it was apparent that her mind was fading.

Normally, under these circumstances, grandma would be put in a nursing home. But, grandma wouldn't have any of it. Though her mind was fading, she was still mentally sound enough to take care of herself. The old woman also refused to live anywhere else but her own home. That. . .and mom didn't want to put her own mother in a nursing home. Mom used to work in several nursing homes, and saw how everyone there was just left there to fade away into nothing. Just left there to be. . .forgotten. So grandma was better off living on her own. Still, whenever she could, mom would visit grandma to make sure the lady was doing well.

Mom. . .really cared about her.

When I turned eight, mom had Shane and I visit grandma one last time. That visit was stranger than the last few. We entered that old wooden house and saw she had all the mirrors covered with cloth. Grandma even went as far as to cover anything reflective, so the tv, parts of the floor, and even silverware was covered.

Mom was obviously worried but did a decent job at hiding it. So she went to talk to grandma, trying to ask her why she had done this. Grandma only mumbled some incoherent words in response. Taking a moment to think things over, mom went into the kitchen to get something. In hindsight, mom was probably looking for grandma's meds. In any case, while mom was in the kitchen, I took the initiative and asked grandma why she covered the mirrors. It took some prodding, but she finally gave me an answer.

"Mirrors are the devil's domain."

Seven days later, she died.

There was a funeral being held for grandma, and for some reason, mom didn't want Shane and I to attend. So she had someone babysit us while she drove off to wherever the funeral was being held. I still remember everyone's reaction to grandma's death.

Again, I barely knew grandma, so I was apathetic toward the whole ordeal. To me, it was as if someone told me a stranger had died. I just accepted it and moved on with my day. Hell, I remember being glad that mom didn't drag us to a funeral, because that didn't sound like fun.

My brother, being the more sympathetic person, was bawling his eyes out when he heard the news. He even begged mom to let him go to the funeral, wanting to see grandma one last time. That was probably traumatic for him, but I doubt he remembers it . After all, he was only six.

But what surprised me was my mother's reaction to grandma's death. I think she was the one who found the body, so that must have been hard on her. Yet, when she told Shane and I about grandma's death, she acted like it was no big deal. There were no tears on her face or even a hint of sadness in her voice. Just a casual "Grandma is dead, and I'm going to attend her funeral". Like she was reporting the weather.

After mom went to the funeral and came home, she never talked about grandma again.

I guess mom's behavior is the reason why I barely remember grandma.

Anyway, the reason why I bring all this up is that grandma's last words have got me thinking. Perhaps the reason why she covered all those mirrors was because she didn't like what she saw, making it the "Devil's domain".

Perhaps when she looked in the mirror. . . she saw the devil looking back.

What I'm trying to say is that grandma's last words has. . .finally made me understand things. Everything I did, every bit of "progress" I made in this life was pointless. I wasn't "changed" by this world, the world simply revealed what really was living inside me.

No matter where I go, no matter how much I pray or beg for forgiveness. . .no matter how much I try to change. . .the devil will always be a part of me. Anytime I wanted to see him, I could simply look in the mirror.

So why go home? If all I bring is misery, then why bother going home?

Well. . .at least by leaving this world, I can pretend that everything that happened wasn't real. Hell, I can even pretend that my "revelations" here were nothing more than a figment of my imagination. That everything was a dream, and that I'm not hurting or killing anyone by causing Third Impact. Yeah. . .sacrificing the lives of "phantoms" in order to wake up sounds better. That sounds like something I can live with.

. . .

Yeah. . .it's a lie I can live with.

About a week has passed since the Kaworu incident. I didn't leave Misato's place like I had originally intended to. Instead I've been spending most of my time inside, "planning" and mustering up the courage to do what needs to be done.

Third Impact.

Based on what Kaworu told me, I could've started Third Impact anytime I was in Unit-01, but I'm still unsure of what that means. Does he mean that simply wishing I was home while inside the Eva could've gotten me home? No, because I've done that numerous times.

Could Third Impact have something to do with the Devil Berserker transformation? If it does, then why didn't it cause Third Impact the first time I used it?

I need these questions answered because I can quite easily get into Unit-01 without anyone noticing, it's just that once activated, Nerv will immediately move in to stop me. At minimum, Unit-01 will have a minute of power, so if I don't start Third Impact then, I will be captured. I also know that there was this. . .spear thing they could use to stop my Eva, but I don't think I have to worry about that. When I subtly asked Misato about this spear, she said it was thrown into space in a failed attempt to slay the fifteenth Angel.

. . .

Fuck it. There's no point in thinking about this any longer. It's now or never.

Besides. . .I might not have much time. If what I remember is correct, then there's gonna be an attack on Nerv in the near future, and I don't want to be anywhere near that when it happens.

A knock on my door brings me out of my thoughts. Looking at the portal, I shake my head then let out a sigh.

"You can come in."

My door slides open, revealing an almost timid looking Misato. Despite me essentially giving her permission to enter my room, she stays where she is. As if my room's floor had turned into lava.

"It's almost time," she says. "So. . .get ready to head to Nerv in ten minutes."

It takes a minute for me to remember what we'll be doing at Nerv before the memory returns. I frown, nod, then gesture at her to leave. Without saying a word, the woman closes the door to my room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

"Psychological Evaluation". What a fucking joke. Can't believe they're gonna make me go through this.

Rolling my eyes, I get to my feet then get dressed.

Moments later, Misato and I are inside her car, making our way to Nerv HQ. So far, the ride was silent. The only noise came from the roar of the engine or the singing on the radio. The atmosphere in the car was thick. You could feel the. . .I don't know, I guess dread. This feeling stuck to the insides of my lungs, and I have no doubt Misato had the same feeling. She was breathing slowly, as if she wasn't getting enough oxygen.

I let out a hum while scratching the back of my head.

"Just say what you need to say already," I spit out. "Keeping secrets never helped you in the past."

She almost looked hurt when I said that, but kept her composure. "The Psychological Evaluation is necessary for every pilot Michael."

I let out a scoff. "Right, to make sure I'm not crazy."

She gives me a sharp look. "That's not it at all!"

Misato sighs. "With the last Angel having been. . . destroyed, the world no longer has a need for Eva pilots. Which means, you, Rei and. . .Asuka will need to prepare to live civilian lives. The evaluation is there to test if you're ready to take that step."

I roll my eyes. "You really think Nerv will just give up the Evas and their pilots?"

She says nothing.

I let out an exhale. "Yeah, just what I thought."

She lets out a frustrated grunt. "Just what are you so scared of?"

"I don't need some shitty doctor hired by Nerv to probe my brain" I respond.

Misato goes silent for a second, then looks back at the road. "Listen, I don't like psychologists either, but trust me, this is for your own good."

I scoff. "Sure."

The car once again returns to silence. Believing this conversation is over, I go back to looking out the window. The sun is still high up, meaning it's still noon.

"After my father died, I didn't talk for years," she says suddenly.

Hearing that, I look at her.

"I don't know why I did that," she continues. "I guess. . .I didn't see a point in speaking. No one could understand what I was going through. I mean, people were willing to try to understand at first, but then they wanted the little girl to 'get over her grief'." She chuckles. "The fact they thought I was grieving showed how little they understood. I wasn't silent because I was scared, or traumatized. I was silent because I was angry at the world, and no matter what I did, no one would listen, so talking became pointless."

She exhales. "It wasn't until college did I finally get my shit together. Yet, all those years of silence still fucked me up." She glances at me. "This psychologist probably won't help you. Heh, he probably can't even understand half the things you've even been through. But talking to him is better than remaining silent. I know I messed things up between us, but I want you to know that I always did care for you, that was never a lie. And. . .I don't want you to end up like me. So promise me you will at least try on this evaluation."

I look at her for a long time, then exhale through my nose. "Sure, whatever."

She nods, then goes back to being silent.

When we finally reached Nerv, Misato stopped to ask me a quick question. She wants to know if I want to visit Asuka before I go into the evaluation. I take a long moment to think about what to say while looking at the hospital wing of Nerv. Eventually, I gave Misato my answer.

"No."

After all, what would be the point in visiting? She's just gonna die.

Misato and I have been waiting outside of the psychologist's office for around forty minutes. Apparently, the guy is still probing Rei's brain, so we have to sit here until he's done. Still, I'm surprised that Gendo's going through this whole charade. Why bother having Rei go through all this? It's not like he cares how Rei's doing mentally.

Not that it matters in the end.

The office door opens, and Rei slowly walks out of the portal. Her expression is cold and distant, her default look. When she notices me, her expression changes. The look she has seemed to be a mix of concern and sadness. She's about to say something until someone from across the hall calls to her.

It was one of Gendo's goons here to escort her somewhere.

Rei closes her eyes, exhales, then walks away. Her escort shortly follows.

A moment afterwards, a man in a black sweater walks out of the office. He has glasses resting on the bridge of his nose, is wearing black slacks, and is holding a clipboard in his right hand.

Doesn't look like a Nerv employee, though I guess it wouldn't really make much of a difference if he was.

"You must be Michael," says the man, displaying a warm smile. "I am Dr. Haruna, your therapist. We have much to talk about. Please, come in."

He gestures for me to enter his office, which causes me to look at Misato. She nods, I shake my head, then get up from the bench I was sitting on. I then reluctantly entered the man's office.

Hopefully this little "session" will be over quickly.

Ten minutes have passed and I'm already bored with this doctor. Dr. Haruna kept asking questions, and I would only occasionally answer those questions with either a yes or no. Every time the guy attempted to dig for more information I either lied by saying it was classified, or ignored the question. If he was annoyed by me dodging his questioning, he didn't let it show. Truly, he was a "professional".

Twenty more minutes have passed and little progress has been made on. . .whatever this shit was supposed to be. Also, the chairs in this office are too damn soft. I feel like I'm sinking into my seat.

"This is a safe place, remember," Dr. Haruna says for what may be the millionth time.

"Yeah, sure."

"Hmm. . .you seem distrustful."

For the first time since I've been in this office, I let out a laugh. Though it was bitter and sounded more like a scoff.

"Really," I ask in a sarcastic manner. "What gave it away?"

"Sarcasm," the doctor points out as he leans back into his chair. "You often use it to hide how you're really feeling."

I ramp up the sarcasm by clapping slowly. "Congratulations, you got to the source of all my problems!" I then send the man a glare. "So what, did you read that in some profile Nerv provided, or are you just that 'good'."

"You want me to get upset with you," he says in a direct manner. Though, I could hear the pity in his voice which pissed me off. "You want a fight."

My eye twitches so I close my eyes, breathe in deeply, then return to glaring at the man. "Because I'm a violent person, right?"

He shakes his head. "Because you feel like you deserve to be hated. That is why you're fighting me."

My glare intensifies. "You don't know me."

"Of course I don't," he responds. "You won't let me. I ask you questions but you either lie or refuse to answer. I know that as a pilot, you must have gone through a lot. My job is to help people, so please let me help you."

I let out a scoff and looked the other way.

We both remain silent for a few seconds before Haruna lets out a sigh.

"I'm gonna be honest with you," he starts. "I may not know what goes on around here, but what I do know is that Nerv does not care about your mental health. To them, this entire session is just a part of a checklist that they want to get out of the way. Regardless of my opinion, I doubt it would affect whatever plans they have for you."

The man breathes in deeply then exhales. He leans forward in his chair, as if trying to imprint his thoughts into my head. "Despite that reality, I still want to help you." A pause. "You need to talk to others. You need to not push people away. You may think that isolation is what's best for you, but in the end, you end up not only hurting yourself, but also the people you care about."

"I already fucking know that!" I snapped at him. "Everyone keeps saying the same thing! That if I 'open up', things will get better! That they'll always be there for me or to have faith in them!"

I shake my head. "Hell, one of these people even said that she loved me, and for a moment, I thought that everything would be fine after that. But none of that crap made me feel better! All it did was raise my hopes up so high, that when it all came crashing down, it made the pain ten times worse! No matter what sentiments people give me, no matter how much they 'love' or care about me, it's not enough to change my reality!

Haruna looks at me. "And what is your reality?"

I tighten my fists then eventually let go. "That none of this matters. That I don't belong here."

That you're all gonna die.

I scowl as I get out of my chair.

"I'm done here."

I turn my back against the man and reach for the door.

"Before you go," I hear Haruna say. "Let me say something."

Letting out a sigh then rolling my eyes, I take a glance at the psychologist.

"You're probably right," the man says much to my surprise. "Friendship, love, nice words, are not enough to change anyone's reality. Love can not move mountains, stop wars, or fix the problems deeply rooted in society. I'm not naïve, I know that. However, the opposite is also true. Hate, isolation, and bitterness can not change reality. So, in the end, does anything matter?"

Dr. Haruna takes off his glasses and looks to the ground, a smile painting his face. "So, why choose love over isolation if none of it can change reality? Well, because it's the only tool humans have to challenge reality. That even though the world is a cruel place, with a bit of time and a lot of hard work, a person can still find happiness. That even hell itself can be a paradise, because people always value happiness over despair."

The man puts his glasses back on then looks at me. "I know things may seem dark now, but remember that you can always find happiness. So choose happiness over despair, even if it feels like nothing matters."

I stare at the doctor for a while, then scoff.

"Sure," I state. "I'll keep that in mind."

I then open the door, exit, then slam the door behind me.

When I left the office, Misato immediately asked how things went. I brushed her off and told her to talk to the doctor herself, then left the woman behind. As my footsteps echo across the metal hallways, as the once bright lights shining through the windows become dim, only one thought reverberates in my mind.

I need to find Unit-01.

Nobody is gonna change my mind on this. Going home, seeing my brother again, living a "normal" life, is the only thing that matters. Nothing else matters.

Dr. Haruna's words somehow pop into my mind, causing me to be pissed off.

I thought psychologists were supposed to be smart. "Choose happiness". Where the hell does he get off on telling me that? What the hell is that supposed to mean? That if things are going bad that pretending to be happy is a solution? Or if my skin's being torn and melted off my body that simply "being happy" will make it all better? What kind of fucked of logic is that?! I can't "choose to be happy", it's not that fucking easy! And it's impossible to find any kind of "paradise" in hell! That's the whole point of hell!

Things will never get better for me. I know that. But at least by going home, I can numb the pain. So that's why I need to return home, even if it means this world burns for it.

Even. . .if it means Asuka burns for it?

. . .

My short walk through the halls leads me to a large window overlooking the Eva cages. A few people have gathered around the window, apparently something interesting is happening in the cages. Pushing through the small crowd, I look through the window to see what all the commotion is about. What I see causes my heart to stop.

Where are the Evas?!

The metal structures and platforms which usually contain the Evas are now empty. A crowd of engineers and scientists are at the lower levels either fixing or studying something. But no Evas are in the room.

What the hell happened?!

Immediately, I find an elevator to enter the Eva cages. I honestly don't know what I'm expecting to happen. Entering the cages won't magically make Unit-01 appear. It's not like I somehow missed a machine the size of a building.

When I exit the elevator, I walk with as much purpose as possible toward the cage where Unit-01 would be held in. The sound of whirring machines and the smell of solder is the only reward for all of my effort. However, I did see someone familiar next to Unit-01's Eva cage. This old man was talking to several engineers about something.

Vice Commander Fuyutsuki.

Taking a moment to think about what to do next, I make my way toward the Vice Commander. When I'm near the old man, I take a deep breath and attempt to wipe the concern off my face.

"Hey," I say aloud. That catches Fuyutsuki's attention. "Umm, do you have a minute?"

The man seems slightly shocked, but smiles and nods. He waves off the engineers workers and gives me his full attention.

"It's been a while Mr. Hart," says the old man. "How have you been?"

I attempt to remain casual as I shrug. "Well, I'm doing pretty well all things considered."

"I see," replied Fuyutsuki. "Well, I assume you're here about the Evas, and you're probably confused to see that they're gone."

I pause briefly, before nodding. "Yeah, that's exactly what I wanted to ask you about." I display a smile that I hoped wasn't too forced. "I mean, I thought I'd at least be able to say goodbye to Unit-01 before becoming a civilian."

"Oh," Fuyutsuki questions. "The psychologist cleared you?"

I shrug while displaying a "so-so" hand gesture. "More or less."

"I see." The man crosses his hands behind his back. "To answer your question, we had the Evangelions moved to a different part of Nerv."

"So they're still in the Geofront," I say a bit too quickly.

Fuyutsuki's expression changed slightly. Like he was catching himself before he said something. "More or less."

I nod. "Okay. Why did you move them? Are we giving them away or something?"

Fuyutsuki shakes his head while letting out a small sigh. "We have been getting reports of. . . unusual activity both within the Geofront and within the city. Which is why, for now, the locations of the Evangelions are to be kept confidential."

I couldn't hide my disappointment. "Oh. . .I see."

There goes my only chance of escape. What the hell am I supposed to do now? I could just search all of Nerv HQ for Unit-01, but that could take forever! Besides, Fuyutsuki's obviously suspicious about something. So even if I did find Unit-01, it's probably heavily guarded.

Shit! I waited too long! I should've attempted Third Impacted as soon as Kaworu died!

"Do you mind if I ask you a question," Fuyutsuki says, snapping me out of my inner rant.

Looking at the old man, I gesture for him to ask away.

"Do you play chess?"

I'm stumped. "Umm. . .yeah? I mean. . .I play a little."

His lips mold into a warm smile. "That's good to hear. There's a bench just outside of the Eva cages, let's play there." As soon as he said that he began walking. I don't move from my spot, and am only taken out of my shock when Fuyutsuki stops walking and glances at me. "Unless, you have somewhere else to be?"

I take a moment to think, shrug, then follow the old man.

When we make it to the bench he was talking about, he takes a seat and pulls out a wooden box from under the seat. He places the box on the bench and opens it, revealing several chess pieces as well as a checkerboard. As he sets up the board, I take a seat, wondering why I'm even bothering with this game.

"Alright," he finally speaks. "I'll be using the black pieces, which means you get to go first." He then looks at me then smiles. "Good luck."

I resist the urge to roll my eyes then look at the board. Lazily, I grab one of my pawns and move it one square forward. In response to that, the Vice Commander nods then. . .stares at his pieces. I kid you not, it felt like a full minute passed before he decided to move one of his pawns! I get irritated, but remain calm. I choose a random pawn and move it forward, making it Fuyutsuki's turn. The old man once again takes forever just to make one, unremarkable move.

He's really testing my patience. I swear he's doing it on purpose.

"I've noticed that you have been hesitant to return home," Fuyutsuki says suddenly. "Is there any reason?"

It takes a minute for me to realize which "home" he was talking about. "Just didn't feel like going back with Misato." Deciding to be interesting, I move my knight in some random direction. "Besides, it's not like I have a home here. Not really."

"I see," he responds. This time, he doesn't take forever to make a move. He instantly takes my knight with his bishop.

Huh? When did he free his bishop?

As if responding to my slight shock, he chuckles.

"You know, I've come to the realization that we've rarely talked to each other," he says. "One to one I mean."

I hum a bit as I move another pawn to free up my bishop.

"So is that the real reason you wanted me to play chess?" I look at the man, showing that I'm not particularly interested in what he has to say. "You wanted to just. . .talk?"

"Actually, I wanted to ask you a question." Fuyutsuki frees up his second bishop then leans forward, a curious look painting his face. "Mr. Hart, how are you?"

I pause for a moment, then scoff. "Ask that psychologist you sent me. He'll gladly answer your question."

"I'll be sure to do exactly that," he comments. "But. . .the thing about psychologists is that they only know what you either tell them, or inadvertently reveal." He looks to his left, giving him a decent view into the Eva cages. "You have a. . .let's say 'strong' personality. So, I'm willing to bet that you didn't reveal much to that man."

I click my tongue, finally deciding to move my second knight without giving any thought to strategy. "If I didn't tell that psychologist anything, what makes you think I'll tell you?"

The old man sighs, then returns his gaze back to the chessboard. "Indeed."

Without hesitating, Fuyutsuki takes my second knight with his other bishop. I frown at that.

"It's such a shame," says Fuyutsuki. "To see that look, weaving its way into the eyes of someone so young."

I became confused. What is he talking about?

"You have the look of a man who has lost everything," he clarifies. "Of a man who is willing to do whatever it takes to get back what he has lost. Even if it means burning everything to the ground."

I became concerned. Like very concerned! Does he suspect that I'm going to do something?! Was this whole conversation an interrogation?

"W-What makes you say that," I ask, hoping I don't sound as nervous as I feel.

A long exhale escapes through his nose as his expression morphs into one of sadness. "I've seen that look before, and I've seen what it can do to people. *Sigh* Yet to see a child have that look. . .well. . .it fills me with such sorrow and guilt."

I stare at him then let out a sound similar to a growl. "So what do you want? Want to give some sort of apology? Will that somehow make everything better?"

"You have every right to be upset," Fuyutsuki responds, not bothered by me scolding him. "And I don't expect you to accept any apology I may provide. Yet, I can't remain silent about this. I need to let you know that I'm genuinely saddened by your current situation, and I can only hope that you will find peace someday."

I look to the side while crossing my arms. "Sure. . .whatever."

We both go silent for about a minute, neither of us making a move on the chessboard. Suddenly, Fuyutsuki speaks.

"You're planning to do something, aren't you."

That wasn't a question.

I became stiff, but before I could do anything he raised his hand to stop me in my tracks.

"I'll just say this. Any goal worth pursuing will always have consequences. Nothing happens without sacrifice." His expression hardens. "If you're willing to accept those consequences head on without regret. . .then I won't stop you."

I blink a few times, still not sure if he knows exactly what I plan on doing. "Why?"

He shakes his head. "Because. . .I know better than to get in the way of someone with the devil's look in their eyes."

I don't know what to say, so I say nothing. I just look at my lap and close my eyes briefly. Another minute passes before Fuyutsuki speaks again.

"It's still your turn," he starts. This causes me to look at the man. "So, what's your move?"

I remain silent then look at my side of the board. I'm obviously in a losing situation, not giving proper attention to my moves. Though, I know I can't quit. So. . .might as well start trying.

I grab my rook, and make my move.

I tried looking for Rei.

Well. . .that's a strong word. "Trying" implies that actual effort was put in. After my little game with the Vice Commander, I wandered around Nerv, like I usually did. I had some vague idea of speaking to Rei about. . .about nothing really. God that sounds so stupid. What exactly would talking to Rei do other than make things more difficult?

Anyway, the point being is that Rei can't be found anywhere. So I wandered around Nerv's halls before going outside, entering the Geofront's forest. Which brings me to right now. I'm laying on a flat grassy area next to a large tree. . .and an empty melon patch.

Guess they finally got rid of Kaji's little garden.

I stare at the bare patch of dirt, attempting to get lost in something meaningless.

Yeah. . .I think that's the right word. Meaningless. It's all meaningless.

My friends, my relationships, everything that I have seen and even gained here is all meaningless. Why, because it's all gonna end whether I pull the trigger or not. I may not know much about this world, but I do know that it will end in either a few days or weeks. So, why bother getting attached to anything on this stupid planet? If I have the chance to leave, to escape something horrible in order to return to the place where I belong, why not take that chance?

And that's another thing. This place isn't my world. It's just a fantasy. Just a place that isn't even supposed to exist. So why should I care? This world isn't my responsibility. I'm not some "guardian angel" or some "superhero" who just swoops in to save the day! I'm just someone who crossed the street at the wrong time.

I don't have to justify myself. I mean sure, I had some fun here. But those moments of "happiness" was never worth the pain. The pain of having my skin ripped off my body! The pain of having to kill two of my friends! The pain of. . .pushing someone I cared about into a coma. None of it was worth the pain, so I can't afford to care anymore!

I can't. . .afford to care.

I inhale deeply and get to my feet. I wipe off whatever dirt may have clung to my clothes and look at the Geofront's glass ceiling. I then close my eyes.

Besides, I didn't even know this world existed until I woke up here. I didn't even think about it before then, so why should I now? Besides, the only person I should care about is my brother. He's the only one who matters.

I exhale, feeling more determined than I ever had in my life.

I'm finding Unit-01 today. No one is gonna stop me.

A loud cracking sound resembling thunder caused me to open my eyes. I saw glass and rubble falling from the ceiling, some of which was heading toward me!

I immediately ran and found some cover behind a nearby hill, avoiding being crushed. Following that disaster, several explosions rang throughout the entire Geofront, causing me to cover my ears. Miles away from where I am, I see vehicles ranging from helicopters, to tanks coming out of multiple improvised entrances. Some of the helicopters flew over me, and I instinctively knew to hide under a tree. Luckily, it seemed like I wasn't seen.

What the hell is happening? What. . .are we under attack?! Shit! It's happening already?! I thought I had a few days!

A few missiles flew toward Nerv HQ, severely damaging the structure. The sounds and the sights somehow made this whole situation more real than anything leading up to this moment.

Dammit, I'm too late! The war has already started.

Author's Notes: Hello everyone! It's been a while. Life has been kicking me in the ass, but at least a few good things came out of it. I finally graduated from college, and got to spend a few days in Rhode Island. Anyway, this chapter was always meant to be short, so it really shouldn't have taken this long to write it. But, in the end, I'm glad it came out. Oh, and before I forget, apparently this story has a TV Tropes. One of the readers decided to make one, and I'm absolutely flattered by that. Never thought my story would ever get on that site. If you want to check it out, one of the reviews has a link to the page. Anyway, thank you all for the reviews in the last chapter, now onto this chapter's hint!

Chapter 25: This isn't a band but an artist; he worked as a composer for a lot of anime and films, one of which being Bleach. As for the name of this chapter's song, the title heavily references the song's lyrics.

Just so you all know, the next chapter is gonna take a while to make. It won't take me seven months to release the next chapter, but don't expect a new chapter in a few weeks. Anyway, thanks for reading and have a good day.