AN: I know that I haven't been updating my other stories for a while and I like to apologize in regards to that. Honestly, I have been caught up with uni life, procrastination and getting invested in the new Bad Guys movie.
Speaking of which, in light of the new Dreamworks film, I feel as if I am stepping into a new era of story-writing and what I really enjoy. The Bad Guys is the new crime comedy movie needed for 2022, based on the best-selling Australian book series by Aaron Blabey (I got to watch the movie early!). I really love this movie a lot that I feel that I want to see more of the crime/heist genre, even though the message does encourage about going good in the world of fear and stereotypes.
This story will cover a lot from the movie, so SPOILERS!
From the film, I find Diane Foxington an interesting character and she is probably one of my top favorite characters. I feel that it's a bit of a step away from her book counterpart who is nearly a Mary Sue. While Diane is seen as a bit of a two-goody politician and has an ego to back for her aggressive fighting style, I like to imagine her as a conflicted politician which is what I'll be writing about here. Just to note that this takes place in MY universe of the Bad Guys and there will be a few changes around and a few references to the books.
This story is going to be action-packed like the film and humor (including hints of black humor). The rating of the story might change to 'T' since there will be mild swearing. And oh, this story is an angsty story.
So prepare for some tears. And then laughing. And then some more tears. This story is going to be crazy.
Of course, immediately when looking at the story image cover, it is filled with pictures of the characters of the film and pictures of books made by Aaron Blabey. I love your work, Blabey! You can see that there are two pictures of Kitty Kat and Doom who will have my version of their film counterparts in this story later on. Mr. Hornet is also included, made by I.M. Rally, who will actually appear later in this story! Thank you to Rally for being a good sport in letting me use Hornet. The many references in the image cover include pictures from Pig the Pug, Sunday Chutney (I love that book), The Brothers Quibble, Stanley Paste and Pearl Barley and Charlie Parsley. The story image cover is made using Microsoft Word (I wish I placed in more pictures), having a similar look to my previous story 'FNAF - Raging Wind'.
Special thanks to I.M. Rally again for allowing me to use Mr. Hornet and discussing ideas with me. Thank you to The Sensational SpiderDom321 for the idea of the story's title.
There are 10 chapters in this story, so there will be updates on Thursdays and Mondays, starting now with Chapter 1 (though it may be slow due to me needing to handle life).
I do not own The Bad Guys or any of the characters.
Recommended Songs
As in my other stories, you would see these symbols such as [1]. When you see one of them, this is for you to start playing the recommended songs below. When you see [1s], that means it stopped.
[1] Hiding in the Dark - Rayman Legends Soundtrack
[2] 20,000 Lums Under the Sea (Guitar & Bass) - Rayman Legends Soundtrack
[3] Lonely Gun (Instrumental) - CYN
[4] Adebayo (from the Peacemaker Soundtrack) - Clint Mansell & Kevin Kiner (from 0:00 to 1:16)
Chapter 1 - Wakey, Wakey, Eggs and Bakey
"This is a stupid idea," thought Diane as she scouts around a lonely area in the city. [1]
One moment she could have been resting at home and getting prepared for a speech regarding her first-ever press conference, but instead, she muddled up her own schedule that she sacrificed half of her sleep time out for a new mercenary-for-hire mission.
Ever since she abandoned the criminal life as the Crimson Paw, she created a new business in order not to leave her talents and gadgets to waste. She is lucky that she was educated and passed university to get a position in the government of Los Angeles, but she kind of misses the good old days of when she was the tricky fox she used to be. Her secret business as a mercenary-for-hire doubled her profit which would give her more than 33 times the lifespan of a non-anthropomorphic fox.
However, living a double life has made her feel more cranky than usual.
She got into contact with philanthropist Professor Rupert Marmalade IV who she would be meeting at the Good Samaritans Awards He didn't explain his reasoning why, but he hired her to spy on the Bad Guys' HQ. There had been rumors on where they could possibly be with this place being the last anyone saw them on their last robbery. This would make things easy for Diane to arrest them, but she was told to be on a low profile and that they can't go in there with the police if this group can outwit them.
"Maybe I should have been a detective than a politician," thinks the fox as she searches around the dark area. "That way, I can find the gaps more easily."
Nighttime has already blanketed the entire sky, her new black ninja outfit blending in with the darkness. Everyone has already gone to sleep, making this area more like a ghost town. The bridge is unharmed aside from a few scratches and burnt cigarette ashes left around. One can imagine what the river beneath the bridge should look like since it is flat out dry here.
She wrinkles her nose before shaking her head.
This means she would have to go to the only other option to search deeper.
The sewers.
She sighs as she finds the nearest sewer hole, taking out a crowbar.
"OK," she said to herself. "This is your moment. Hopefully, you will do everyone well. And…maybe for me as well." She places the tip of her tool onto the gap of the hole cover. "Find the HQ, scan the a-" [1s]
The second she lifts the cover-up with all her strength, a huge cloud of smoke rushes up high in the sky.
Diane immediately falls on her back, choking on the smoke.
Good lord, what was that?!
Is this poisonous?
Why does it smell like charcoal?!
She is wearing a full-face mask, but this doesn't help protect her from breathing in unknown chemicals. She never ate burnt food before, so this must be how it tastes.
As soon as she finishes coughing and the smoke clears away, she leaps back up and looks down the sewer hole. Hmm…it doesn't look like this connects with the underground water pipes and sewers. It can be anything dangerous, but she found a clue.
Rolling around her neck, Diane places her covered hands and feet against the walls of the deep hole and slides down. [1]
It took a long time, roughly around 10 minutes for her to get to the bottom. She wishes that she brought a flashlight with her because this could have helped her see better than wandering around doing nothing. But as akin to her Crimson Paw persona, she can't be seen and she has to be cunning. She is not really afraid of the dark.
She is just concerned about what she might bump into.
Her feet sense the bottom…or at least what is at the bottom. She feels heat. Wait a minute. She looks down. Orange flickering ambers can be seen. A fire. Small but noticeable. Seems to be dying out slowly. Planting her foot back on the wall, she can feel something shallow than the thick concrete around her. Must be a door.
She kicks it wide open.
"A fireplace," she whispered to herself as she climbs out.
It seems to be some sort of furnace room. Either as a power generator or acting as a heater to the Bad Guys' HQ. The room is made from red bricks, making it more like something that belongs to a family than a group of criminals. Piles of wood logs decorated the sides of the room. Rolling her eyes, Diane carries on with her mission.
As she takes the stairs upwards, she finds herself in a room that makes her think if she is dreaming. A garage filled with stolen cars and vehicles. However, upon further inspection, they don't really look like they came from someone else.
The cars appear to be out of shape. Tires have yet to be added to them. Messy paint splatter all over them. There are even logos on the hood with the letters 'BG' on it.
A cart filled with wrapped candies is just nearby her. She feels like a child again when she picks one candy up. She doesn't fool herself into thinking that the golden stripes are made from gold since it feels like plastic. The thing that surprises her is that the same letters 'BG' are printed on all the wrappers of the candies.
There is even a clothesline, shirts hanging with the same 'BG' letters printed on them along with symbols of each team member.
Diane is stupefied. "Are they making their own merchandise?"
Well, she doesn't know they have an interest in branding. [1s]
There is an elevator nearby, but the emergency staircase should be less noisy and not alert any of the criminals.
She is blown away by the entire lair of the Bad Guys' headquarters. [2]
It is the size of a warehouse, making up room for a shopping mall. There are a lot of stolen goods the Bad Guys collected over the years. Jewels, money vaults, priceless works of art and every kind of treasure known to humankind. It looks more like a treasure room than a place where criminals dump their collectibles around. It even seems to take the shape of a homey studio apartment as she can spot the TV area, the kitchen area and doors that lead to individual bedrooms.
Diane is grateful for the hanging, glowing chandelier above that provides her illumination to see. The elevator nearby is opened where the Bad Guys' main use of the vehicle is resting. Good thing she didn't use the elevator, this can cause a high level of alert.
If only she can get the police here…
Oh, wait. She remembers now.
She takes out a small camera device Marmalade gave her. She is supposed to leave it somewhere hidden in a spot where the Bad Guys wouldn't care to see. While they can't make a full arrest at this spot, this camera will help track down their hiding space. Surely, a small device in the shape of half of a black plastic ball doesn't look suspicious.
Seeing how high the ceiling is, she throws the device upwards. It instantly glues against the top corner, a red light blinking from the center.
A loud snore scares her as she whips around. In the middle of all the priceless treasures, she finds the team's hacker, Ms. Tarantula, sleeping in a dog's house. Wearing a white dunce hat that fits her size. Though, it is so high that it touches the frame of the entrance.
There is another snore from above. Hanging from the ceiling is an enormous golden bed. Mr. Piranha, the team's muscle, is sleeping right there, nearly hanging off the edge that he could fall off. He is wearing a scarf in a shiny gold color, a big grin on his face.
Diane blinks, questioning her vision. What is even going on anymore?
Knowing that she has to observe more of the place, Diane wastes no time and quickly scouts out every corner of the lair. However, all she can find are all the stolen treasures decorating the place. The kitchen and TV areas are useless since they don't have anything incriminating. This frustrates the red fox as she tries to think of what she should be searching for.
Then, it hits her. Every criminal would have a plan. And they would need research, notes and map boards. Pinning which location to go to and find out the pros and cons of their next mission.
From what she heard, the team's leader and peacekeeper, Mr. Wolf is the one who calls the shots first. Perhaps he has something. And conveniently, his room is right near her.
It is a bit messier than she thinks. His own personal room is cluttered with pieces of paper, dirty clothes, stained cups of coffee and cobwebs. The cobwebs might come from Tarantula. The white walls, while clean, have scratch marks all over as signs of previous anger issues. A window is left open with the curtains flowing. It could have been an easy place to be spotted, but it seems that Wolf enjoys the view of the city.
Diane didn't notice how high the lair actually is.
And there, she finds Wolf.
The exhausted leader flat-out crashed on his bed. It looks like he got into some rough night and knocked himself out. He hasn't changed out of his clothes, smelling like hay. He even has a black eye. As he sleeps soundlessly, Diane notices the way he is positioned. The blanket is already off, proving how much he is tossing and turning. He doesn't look peaceful in his sleep.
He looks…sad.
Diane frowns. She knew it. She has the feeling that the Bad Guys might not feel happy with what they are doing, but it must be Wolf out of all of them. She isn't sure if he enjoys being a criminal, but knowing how he tried to mingle with the civilians casually in the past, it seems that he can't rest easy in this life.
He mutters something to himself, under either a dream or a nightmare.
Diane knew that she can't really do anything about that. She doesn't know how safe she is or if she can trust Wolf. Trusting a criminal can be suicidal since that would mean placing down all your cards and then later them being caught. She knows this from her experience as a criminal. Criminals can't be trusted.
Turning her attention away from Wolf, she spots a large desk with a pinboard hanging on the wall. Unlike the chaotic state of his room, the notes and maps are sorted out neatly. Enough for anyone to see them. The ones that are hidden behind must be the old ones, useless at this point. They are even listed with dates and names.
Diane places a hand over the desk table as she feasts her eyes to the many noted heists the Bad Guys went on. She finds at least five stapled paper notes that list down the future schemes Wolf plans the team to do. One is on the Golden Dolphin; now that is impossible. They can't get it since they never invaded an awards venue or a show before. They may rather watch it. Another is the…Love Crater Meteorite, but that has been crossed out with more points about the disadvantages than the advantages. Looks like they have limits on what to steal.
As she takes the five notes in a small folder, she finds a notebook that stands out from the rest of the notes.
Actually, it looks like some kind of journal. A brown leather covering with scribbles that read 'WOLF'S DIARY' and 'DO NOT TOUCH, YOU ARSE'.
Subtle.
She takes a look at the very first page. The page is already filled, written in pen. An ink smear is seen on the top of the page. With only the provision of the moonlight from the window and the light coming through the opened door, she reads over a few words...is this covering…?
Diane doesn't get the time to read further when she hears a bellowing sound.
"IIIII FEEEEEEEL MIGHTY REEEAAALLL!" [2s]
A loud falsetto singing echoes through the entire lair. In the background, there are plitters and platters of water dripping down on the ground.
She didn't hear anyone taking a shower before.
Her eyes widen when Wolf groans.
"That noise…" he whined as he sat up. "If I find Shark showing at midnight once again…"
Uh oh.
Diane - her real identity hidden by a full-geared ninja set - stands like a deer in headlights as the wolf spots his new prey….
"What in the universe?!" said Wolf, jumping upwards.
Diane didn't think properly as she quickly places the journal into her folder and attaches it to her belt. The red fox goes into instinct mode, charging in before spinning around and kicking Wolf right in the stomach. He crashes into the wall and slumps back into his bed with Diane using it as an advantage to escape while he tries to get up.
As she runs out of the room, she takes a turn blindly. That is a huge mistake as she halts when a door swings over.
"Oh jeez!" said Mr. Shark, the team's infamous 'master of disguise' and con artist, wearing a bathrobe. "I should probably leave the shower for about 5 minutes because…" Upon seeing Diane, he screams. "AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHH!"
"AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHH!" screamed Diane.
While she is supposed to be silent, the whole mission is crumbling apart in a messy end. She quickly bounces over Shark's head before running towards the parking lift.
Red sirens start to flicker the entire room in a blood-red color. A loud horn blasts through the room. [3]
"INTRUDER!" shrieked Wolf as he pops out of his room. "WE GOT AN INTRUDER IN THE LAIR!"
Diane is dismayed when she finds a flock of security drones flying out from Wolf's room. They are all targeted at her, buzzing towards her like a gang of angry bees. Since when did they get the time and money to buy drones?! The red fox forgets that she has to run and desperately tries to find the nearest weapon she can utilize.
A baseball bat.
Wait, what can a baseball bat do?!
One drone came flying in, brandishing a pair of metal claws and laser eyes getting ready to fire.
She hasn't faced this kind of enemy before.
Closing her eyes, she spun around and swung her bat.
The drone went flying and crashed into a wall, causing a small explosion. It even accidentally hits an electric generator which makes all the lights and sirens go haywire. Diane and Wolf have to grab their ears as a loud siren screech across the entire room. [3s]
Meanwhile, in his own room, Mr. Snake, the team's crack-locker, is busy trying out a new game Tarantula encouraged him to do. He isn't one to be interested in catching chicks - he rather catches rodents and chickens - but after playing through a few levels, he is ADDICTED to this. This is much easier than going out trying to find a girlfriend!
No wonder why dating sims are so popular nowadays.
He flicks his tongue with a cheeky grin as he feels the final love confession he wants to hear all night.
"Senpai!" said the anime girl on his computer screen. "I…I LOVE Y-!"
Unfortunately, the damage to the electrical generator nearby his room even boggled his internet router, causing the game to freeze. After a while, a message box appeared on the screen.
WE CAN NOT CONNECT. UNSAVED DATA IN THE LAST HOUR WILL BE LOST. GO GET A BETTER INTERNET CONNECTION, SCRUB.
And Snake hasn't saved his game in the last 10 hours.
"ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!"
The flickering lights going crazy are enough to blind Wolf and Shark, preventing them from coming close to Diane. She quickly activates the eye lens on her ninja masks to allow her to see better without the flashing lights harming her eyes. She already has enough of her eyesight being damaged! Clutching onto her baseball bat, she focuses on the group of drones surrounding her. [3]
Another one came flying towards her.
She clenches her teeth as she swings her baseball bat.
THWACK!
It went flying like the previous one she destroyed. This time, it collides with another drone and this sets off a chain reaction. Six drones explode in close contact, their scattered machines and parts scattering across the floor.
This might look easy, but these drones have weapons that can outmatch her.
Diane gulped.
One gulp each from the drones.
She swings again and three drones explode.
They start firing their lasers on her. Despite being nervous about becoming fried, Diane leaps backward and bounces off a nearby money vault to charge back towards the drones. She grabs onto one and throws her legs around at 180, kicking away drones that are above. She even uses this spin to throw the drone she was holding onto, smashing it with her bat to the ground.
Two drones pick her up and she tries to kick her legs around to break free. This only succeeds in getting one drone to back off with only one holding onto her. She tries using her bat to whack it behind, but her swing is not strong enough. One drone is coming in, sharpening its claws. Diane hisses as she tries to find a way out.
Thinking quickly, she holds out the bat to make the drone in front of her grab it. So predictable. She uses this to swing the drone around and help her break free from the drones who were holding her. She swings her bat around before throwing the drone towards another group, causing another huge explosion.
One drone fire at Diane once again. The red fox hops around as she avoids getting shot. With one big jump, she leaps onto the drone and hangs onto it, spinning it around. In a blind panic, the drone fires all around. Its lasers accidentally hit the other drones, causing more of them to explode. This helps with destroying the rest of the security drones, but this isn't a good thing for Diane who has no idea how to let go.
Eventually, the drone slams her down on her back and scratches her in the stomach. Diane grunts, but finds out that it only causes a rip in the stomach area of her suit. She isn't bleeding.
She swings her bat again and the last drone finds itself smashed like a pancake.
Diane slowly gets up, rolling her shoulders around as she tries to forget the sore muscles from the hits. The flickering lights mitigate, allowing Wolf and Shark to see properly after running around headless.
Shoot. Time to go!
That is when Piranha's head pops up over her shoulder.
"Wakey wakey!" he said. "Eggs and bakey!"
Diane gasps and swings her baseball bat. However, Piranha just jumps and bites through it, reducing the bat into two wooden halves. The red fox growls as she leans back from his incoming punch before running around him and kicking her knee right in the middle of his legs.
BONG!
"Oooh!" said Piranha, patting his groin playfully. "You got me right there."
It appears that this doesn't phase him at all and that comes clearly when he clings to Diane's face.
Diane nearly goes into a full-blown panic as Piranha scurries around her face like a small squirrel. Except that nut-cracking squirrels don't usually pull the ears and noses of a face. Or keep punching them repeatedly on the head. She is getting it from every side as she tries to pull Piranha off.
She manages to pull him off and is about to throw him to the ground, but Piranha only throws her over his head and uses his reflexes to wham her to the ground. Then, he spins around and kicks Diane in the face, nearly knocking her out.
The red fox groans in pain, trying to not blackout. Sparks enter her vision. She shifts her hands around with one feeling the folder attached to her. As she turns her head, she can see Piranha cracking his small hands. Wolf and Shark, joined by a furious Snake, slowly march towards her, but they are far away.
She isn't going down like this.
Diane grabs Piranha by the collar of his shirt, leaps up and spins him around like a yo-yo.
Wolf, Shark and Snake let out a battle cry as they came running.
She throws Piranha and he hits the three. They all go flying like bowling pins.
"Strike!" hissed Diane in glee.
With the four trying to get back up again, Diane skips towards the parking lift and presses the button panel. Well, maybe several times since she is in a rush. As Wolf gets up, he sees the doors closing.
"Wait!" he howled.
But the elevator closes and descends. [3s]
Shark moans, hanging his head.
Piranha just growled, placing a hand over his forehead and shaking.
Snake is hissing away, filled with unwanted adrenaline.
Wolf can only slap his hand over his snout, shaking his head. This isn't the first time someone tried to raid their lair. They did come across other criminals before they tried to rise against their level. Someone must have been sneaky enough to get in. Now, that ninja got in and stole whatever they found.
However, none of the treasures around them are touched by the ninja.
"Ms. Tarantula!" he called. "Activate the safety protocols!"
"Wait, what?" cooed a small voice.
Tarantula yawns as she opens her eyes, lifting herself up.
"What happened?" she said.
"An intruder," said Wolf. "We need you to activate the safety protocols."
A sheepish smile crosses over Tarantula. "Oh…erm…my computer was on low battery, so…I wouldn't be able to turn them on in time."
Well, there goes the humiliation.
"I knew we should have installed that firewall!" said Piranha.
"You mean computer firewall or literal firewall?"
"Literal gate of fire, literally!"
Wolf just hopes that this won't cause the authorities to find them.
Diane has trudged the entire way back home. Kicking the door open, she waddles, clearly tired from the intense fight and the lack of sleep. As she checks through the folder to make sure the notes she found weren't destroyed in the fight, she slowly peels her mask off.
Coming into her bedroom, she throws her mask to the side, taking the time to breathe fresh air. She takes one step, but trips over after stepping on her untied shoelaces.
A growl escapes her lips. Humiliated. Good thing she doesn't have any bodyguards at her house or she would suffer eyes looking at her.
Dragging herself to her desk, she lets out a huge moan, slamming the folder on top of it.
"The gossipers were right," she whimpered. "The Bad Guys ARE the baddest in fighting. And yet, I thought I am the only one in the city who knows how to pick up a good fight."
Her computer that is charging on the desk - god, she has to remember to shut it off properly - suddenly turns on, blinding her for a few minutes. A phone beeped as a picture of Marmalade appeared. Placing her glasses back on, she hits the green button and is greeted by the guinea pig himself.
She tries to hide back a chuckle at the sight of how FRAZZLED Marmalade looks. His hair is messy due to not being gelled properly. Heavy dark bags under his eyes as signs of fatigue. He is wearing a dark red bathing robe, something you might not wear on a hot summer night when you are about to go to sleep. However, he keeps a straight face without looking like he might blackout.
"Morning, Foxington," he yawned. [4]
"It's actually 11:59 PM," corrected Diane.
"But in a minute, it would be early morning." A few seconds of silence. "And now it is!"
At least he is still upbeat. "What exactly happened to you?"
"You know. Got a bit too tipsy, stayed up watching my favorite sitcom and ordered myself a chocolate cake. You know, the ordinary!" He flashed a silly grin.
Diane smiles a little. "Well, I don't usually stay up at night unless it is at parties. Speaking of which, I got the notes that you need." She takes the 5 note booklets and waves them around for her client to see. "These are the latest plans he has."
"Good," said Marmalade, looking serious. "I won't be available in the morning, so drop them by my house at noon."
"Copy that."
"How's finding your way into their lair?"
"A bit hard," admitted Diane. "Got my face blown by a hidden chimney. I went back outside the same way I went inside. I accidentally alerted the Bad Guys, but I wasn't followed."
Marmalade swore to himself. "Did you implant the camera?"
"First chance I have, yeah." The fox pauses for a moment. "You know, we could have just stopped them and not prolonged the problem. We can't keep letting unwanted mayhem occur in our city."
"Negative, Foxington. It would be easy if we got them. These are dangerous people, remember. In order to get them REALLY down, we need a closer angle to find their weak spot. I have plans for them."
"They better be good, Marmalade," said Diane. "You're on the nomination list for the Golden Dolphin, so I'm praying that you would do something great about this. If not, I don't think you will have it."
"Don't worry about me," said Marmalade. "How was fighting the team?"
"Crazy," snorted Diane. "Piranha is tougher than I thought."
"He's strong. He has the best quality of the knife."
"Tarantula is just resting."
"She doesn't get into that much action."
"Shark is a bit of…a strange fellow."
"Oh, you know that he is a con artist."
"Snake looks pretty cranky. Heard that he is not a great guy."
"Probably has more sour venom in him. And Wolf?"
"He's…" Diane paused as she thought back to seeing Wolf curled up in his bed. "There is something about him that's…sad."
The guinea pig frowned. "Never knew that you could be empathetic to criminals."
The fox nods to herself, blankly staring out her window. The night is still around, surrounding her home in darkness. A place that makes her feel unsafe and rather into the safety of the light. Away from the badness out there. She used to be one, but now, she isn't comfortable with it. She never stayed in the woods again. The Bad Guys probably run the night on their own. From all their heists, they mean business.
But seeing Wolf muttering in his sleep replays in her mind. He must have been hurt. Maybe he doesn't like what he is doing. How he is seen. She never really knew about him as people have yet to collect their full criminal records. Wolf looks like the most conflicted of the team since a criminal wouldn't try to be nice to others.
"I know," said Diane. "Look, maybe I am being weird, but ever since I dropped being the Crimson Paw, I saw that I was on the wrong side. But…it isn't wrong to relate to the bad side, right?"
"Foxington," said Marmalade, narrowing his eyes. "I am a philanthropist, but we have yet to hear if they genuinely want to be loved like you once mentioned before. Just because you were a former criminal doesn't mean you understand everyone. I have my own plan and I actually know when is the best time to confront. If you try to get yourself into mingling with the Bad Guys, then you will be killed."
"Yeah, well it doesn't matter, does it?" said Diane dejectedly. "I guess…that some of us are too different to understand others."
"Diane," said Marmalade, using her first name to make his point clear. "I need to know that I can trust you. You are my eyes and ears for the public, got it?"
The fox's ears droop and her tail wraps around her waist. "Yes, mister."
Marmalade nods before his eyes darts towards the remainder of the folder. "What is…that there?"
Diane is confused at first. Funny, she got everything in the folder. She opens it up properly and empties it. A book in leather covering. Hang on, it looks kind of familiar. And those words on the front cover ring a bell for her…
'DO NOT TOUCH, YOU ARSE'.
Oh no.
Diane feels her heart skipping a beat.
"What is it?" asked Marmalade.
At this point, she feels that the Bad Guys would be knocking down on her door any minute now.
"I…accidentally snatched Wolf's journal," chuckled Diane sheepishly. "Do you need it as well?"
Marmalade thought for a while. "Negative, Diane. This can be used if it is required for their criminal records if the Bad Guys get arrested so that the buzz can examine their psychological health. However, I'm not going to go deeper into this one. It may not be relevant to their current situation. I already have an idea, but it's not safe now to get into personal details."
"Then what do I do?"
"Keep it for now. Just don't let anyone take a peek at it."
"Fair enough."
"Yeah. Leave the notes at my place tomorrow at noon. I'll see you at the Good Samaritan Awards."
"Copy that, Mister Marmalade."
Once her computer turns black, Diane sighs as she collapses into bed. She doesn't care if she is still wearing the bodysuit. She already got used to how comfy it is. Comfy in terms of feeling the leather material and the bumps of her pockets all around the outfit. While tempted to pull over the blanket and lie her head on the pillows properly, she opts to stare back at the infinite darkness outside her window.
A faint illumination of the moon helps her see a little. A ghostly reminder that the bad side is still out there, hunting. She can imagine Wolf howling to the moon on top of a mountain, but that might be due to her seeing too many werewolf movies and shows.
"Just because you were a former criminal doesn't mean you understand everyone."
She doesn't know why, but for some reason, that hurts Diane.
Sure, she is relatable! She has her own reasons for her upbringing. Her parents were slaughtered by hunters, forcing her to hide. After years of isolation and growing up in a miserable orphanage, she found it hard to trust people. A fox like her should be more cunning enough to get out of a hole like this. And so she did. It helped as her confidence booster. But her days of the Crimson Paw ended when…
The guilt sets in and she hugs a pillow, trying to cry into it. But she finds it a bit hard to cry since she is exhausted from the mission she agreed to help on. She knew how it would feel to be stuck in a pathetic, worthless and wasteful circle of stealing and revenge. Every criminal should go through this, right?
She wishes that she would be able to know better from everyone. If she tries to fix things by going in instead of pursuing an equally worthless career as a politician. Something that gives her a degree of control over society, but not enough to help change the hearts of those who rebel. There needs to be someone to reach out to those criminals since they would have no one to trust.
If only she wasn't selfish, then…
Angry, she slaps herself, telling herself to shut off that crisis in her head. She shouldn't be thinking like this. She has a strong reason to be a politician and she accepted the role as a governor for a damn reason. She should know what is right. The burning desire of her old days should be just left behind when it leads her into nothing but empty holes in her heart. Marmalade is right. She doesn't understand the other criminals.
Burying her muzzle into the pillow, she lets out a quiet yet audible scream of frustration. [4s]
AN: Diane, my friend, you may have to think this really thoroughly.
I figured out that it wasn't that long that Diane gave up the Crimson Paw mantle, but if it is long, then she must have done something to keep up with being acrobatic and able to pack a punch. So, I came up with an idea of her having a double life; this plays with her being conflicted on how to approach the normal life and the criminal life.
Her mercenary outfit would be similar to Yelena Belova's suit in Hawkeye. Speaking of Hawkeye, there is even a reference in here in which Diane discovers that the Bad Guys had been making their own merchandise.
In case you don't know, the line Shark is singing is a reference to 'You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)' by Sylvester.
The entire fight scene is something that I came up with, so it is pretty wild with how Diane fights (especially Piranha who latches onto her face!). Though, the part where Diane accidentally destroys the electricity box and disrupts Snake's dating game is a reference to Meta Runner (Season 2).
I don't know why I didn't use Piranha's catchphrase 'Surprise!' or 'What's Up, Papa!' I really want to use 'Wakey Wakey, Eggs and Bakey' so badly! :3
The part where Diane trips over her shoelaces is from The Owl House.
Diane's and Marmalade's talk with each other is based from Peacemaker. Here, Marmalade and Diane has an alliance (?) regarding the Bad Guys and Marmalade does know that Diane is the Crimson Paw. Though, things aren't going to be looking up with Diane soon due to her conflicting loyalties and how she perceives the world as. Little did she know is that she fell for the wrong guinea pig...
Rumors say that if you review about what you think about this chapter, you earn a nuzzle by Wolf. Feedback and criticism are welcome to help with any improvements needed. You get a good tingle if you explain which is the funniest or weirdest part you saw in the chapter; while also addressing the emotional parts well-done, this story aims to be as wacky that it makes sense in context. If you dare to be rude or send any flames, they will be doomed by Piranha's fart gas if deemed to be toxic, and you'll end up looking like a fool.
Until next time, keep on rocking!