The sun was out in full as I left the lodge with Grenwin and Ygdis in tow. We walked into Symon's abode, the sounds of conversation wafting out of his office.

The room we entered felt more cramped than ever with the new additions to the planning team. Greetings were passed around, curious glances at my sisters who hadn't really participated in these meetings before, but nothing that seemed to say they were unwelcome.

We sat on the floor upon comfortably warm pelts, arranged in a rough circle with a space for one to stand and present in the center should it be needed. Symon and Wynt retrieved the record-slates from previous sessions, the young lad becoming well-versed in recording the goings-on by this point.

Ruddy-faced Ombyr was the first to stand from his pelts and speak, "We need more scouts. I don't like how often I'm hearing about things moving in the woods."

There was a round of general agreement, low murmurs echoing the sentiment. Wyck stood, nodding to Ombyr. "Aye. Even this morning, Torm told me he had seen something in the woods last night."

I didn't stand, just added, "I spoke to him this morning, he told me the same."

It would be incorrect to say that the atmosphere in the room had turned into a general concern for goings-on. Rather, the atmosphere had always been this way, and we had just gone and pointed out the reason why. It wasn't to say that it had fallen by the wayside, but other temporary issues had taken precedence.

Standing, I brushed my skirts straight. "We've more than enough food to feed us now. We ought to see who out of the hunting parties would be willing to be our eyes and ears, form a scout corps. We'll need people to take what the scouts say and sort through it all as well, to give us a clearer picture than just rumors or hearsay."

Ygdis looked up at me, looking positively giddy. She stood up, looking at everyone and confidently stating, "I'll be the first to join. I've the skills and I can train others."

A breach of the fragile decorum we'd established over the weeks, but well meaning. Wyck and Ombyr stared at her, before the former nodded and sat down while the latter laughed uproariously, spittle flying free of his lips.

"I support this," The big man said, "I've never been able to catch a spearwife who didn't want to be caught. My boys, Jorn and Filk, they'll go with ya." He nodded to Ygdis, "Make sure to give 'em a whack if they don't listen." Sitting, the man reclined, pulled out a waterskin and took a drink of something that certainly wasn't water from the hearty belch he gave a second later.

Wyck still stood, scratching his bearded chin. "That'd be three more scouts than we had yesterday. Still need more, though. I'll see who's up for this, send them your way," he nodded to the young fiery-haired woman. With that, he took a seat.

That left me, an informal third vote in an informal meeting of informal people with informal ideas. I considered her, thinking over all the details before coming to a decision. It wasn't until then that I realized that I'd been staring at her, and Ygdis was starting to seem a little uncomfortable with the scrutiny.

"We'll need to work around our training," I said slowly, "Otherwise, I think you'd be good in this role. We can discuss the details later, but for now this is a good start." With that I sat, leaving her the only one standing before she awkwardly sat down next to Gren.

A skinny man immediately shot to his feet, declaring, "We need to finish the water tower. The, eh, prototype has been a greater boon than we expected. When will it be built?"

Symon rose, "As soon as the grounds are prepared. You know this. We've talked about it every time we meet like this."

In reply, the skinny man gestured at me. "Then why won't you do this, Maia? You'd have it done in a day, less, so why are you making us wait so long?"

Sighing, I stood again, stepping into the open center. "I've said it before, I don't want to be the sole reason for our success. If I'm the only one who does anything, who knows how to do anything, what happens when I'm not around? This project of ours will succeed or fail on its own merits, and while I'm willing to hold up the wobbly bits until we get everything stable, I'm not going to let you use me as the foundation for anything that comes next."

Symon sat, nodding. Seemed like most people were nodding, though some of the newcomers were a bit confused.

Skinny worked his mouth for a moment, not angry, but like I'd blown the wind from his sails. Someone from the group piped up, "If we need her for everything, what makes us any different from the kneelers?"

Naturally, this set off a raucous cascade of epithets and general grumbling about the nature of the people south of the wall. The skinny man sat down, and I made a note to properly greet him later. I didn't know his name, and I felt a little bad for overlooking anyone.

Grenwin stood without hesitation, addressing the room confidently. "We have plans to move below the wall." She waited just long enough for confused nods to answer her. "Then we need an army."

The room was quiet, and someone coughed.

"Yes?" Wyck asked, confused.

"Well, I don't see any armies around, do any of you?"

Part of me was a little annoyed that she had just been upset at me for treating her like a child, and here she was doing it herself.

I piped up, "As far as I know, there aren't any? We'd have to build ourselves up."

Grenwin walked to the open space, nodding excitedly at me before turning to the room. "Maia's told me some about where she comes from, and she had talked about a, standing army? Voluntary service for a few years individually, but altogether it's some sort of system for building force that doesn't rely on one or two lords and their soldiers."

"Oi, Maia, tell us more about this!" Ombyr called. "I like the sound of that. You gonna give us stuff if we try this standing army thing out?"

Oh, no, I realized, they're getting excited about this.

I stood for the third time in as many minutes, "Okay, first things first," I walked over to Gren, "A standing army is pretty much what Grenwin said. You voluntarily follow orders for a few years, usually four or so, then have the choice of leaving the army or volunteering again. Thing is, the following orders part is the most important. The lords don't have to worry about their soldiers getting bored and becoming bandit armies."

"If the order isn't stupid, I'd follow it." Ombyr retorted. "We're damn better than they are."

"And if you didn't get the context for the order?" I asked, "What if it's an order that sounds stupid, but is vitally important for other parts of the army? Would you, personally, voluntarily give up the freedom to say 'no, I won't follow this order' for several years in a row?"

He chewed on this for a moment- Ah, no, that was just the jerky he had taken a bite of. "Sure. I know I don't need to know everything, and I figure those that know all that shit are the ones sending orders, so they ain't stupid orders. I'll follow. I'll even give a bloody oath to follow orders, and pummel anyone dumb enough to think I won't live up to that."

"Besides," another voice called, from a grizzled old man who looked more knots than skin, "It's different. I say, if I have the choice, I'd fight for my people. Problem comes when you don't give the choice, you point and say, 'You fight for me now.' That's all the lords do to the kneelers. Born on a lord's land, you fight and die for that lord when they have a tantrum."

Agreement echoed through the room.

Grenwin looked positively gleeful. "So, our army then. Volunteers only. I'd rather keep the young out of it, but if they want to contribute, find them something to do that keeps them out of harms way."

The room nodded, the collective representatives of the various people who had already joined us agreeing in concert. I felt, suddenly, as though I was riding the wave of history, bearing witness to a moment that would change things, for the better or the worst.

"Who will lead our army?" Wyck asked, staring at me. I looked back, confused.

"Gren had the idea, she should do it." I tried to deflect, gesturing at her.

They just laughed at me.

I deflated a little, "Look, with everything else, I don't know if I have the time to handle running an army. I'd be okay with some sort of ceremonial role. Back where I'm from, many nations had the heads of state also be supreme commanders of the military, but in reality, they didn't really do much. Start wars, end wars, that sort of thing. They weren't battlefield commanders. I'm not a battlefield commander."

The room chewed on my words- Damnit, no, just Ombyr and his damned jerky. "So what? You've got us. Fought plenty in my time. We've seen you pull miracles out of your ass before. Actually staying below the Wall, not just raiding? We need your goatshit luck and whatever else you've got. Give us that, and we'll fight for you."

"Never fought for someone who saved my life quite like you have," Wyck said, "I'm not going to refuse now that I have the chance."

Symon stood, seeming conflicted. He had chosen to wear his old Watch cloak, and he drew it around him like a shroud. "I'm not a soldier, I never wanted to fight. I still found myself here, north of the Wall, without a choice. I was at my lord's mercy, then the Watch's mercy, and finally the mercy of the folk who found me. If we're making choices here, then I'll fight too. You need people to analyze the scout reports? I'll handle getting that information to who it needs to get to."

I blinked, shocked. Grenwin seemed just as surprised, as did everyone else in the room.

Ombyr just laughed, assaulting us with mostly-chewed smoked venison. "Even the cowardly crow will fight! I say it's settled. Anyone else got any issues with it?"

Nobody spoke up, and it was concluded. Just like that, I'd had the responsibility to build an army shoved onto my shoulders.

Duty is heavier than a mountain, the half-remembered words floating to the fore of my mind. "I'll fight too, then." I said, "If you'll have me lead, then I'll lead as best I'm able. I'll give you what arms and armor I can provide, whatever training I'm capable of giving." I walked back to my spot, sat down, and very carefully set my face in a neutral thoughtful expression as I internally panicked.

Gren sat down next to me, and soon we moved on to other matters. Building a wall, streets, sewers, more homes, more storage, more workspaces. There was always this sense of needing more, that what we had wasn't going to be good enough to weather the storm we all saw on the distant horizon. The Others were lurking, I was more and more certain, and anything we could use to keep ourselves safe was worth pursuing.

The rest of the meeting passed with a sense of renewed purpose, I felt. Before, we had been tentatively coasting, treading water. Now we were actively moving forward with goals that would change everything, laying the foundation for everything to come.

After that, I had a few minutes to eat something before getting today's education going.

That went much more smoothly today, Gren and Ygdis taking far more active roles, along with the more knowledgeable members of the class teaching those who came to learn today. It was, dare I say, fun. The first day was satisfying work, but work nonetheless. This was much easier, being able to trust in my friends to hold their weight.

And then it was over for the day. People filtered away, off on their own tasks, leaving Gren, Ygdis, Ellir, and I to prepare for our expedition. We didn't share many words after letting the rejuvenated woman know that we'd have a couple more people with us.

Finally, we all gathered together in the entry hall of my vacuole. Packs prepared, everything ready.

"So…" I started awkwardly, "We're heading which direction, again?"

"South and west." Ellir said, "We should be able to see their great trees from a distance."

"Still a bad idea," Grenwin grumbled. Ygdis patted her shoulder comfortably.

"South and west, then." I repeated, opening a Gateway facing that general direction some distance above First Fork. The snow-laden forest stretched to the horizon, where hills and ridges might have been the foothills of a distant mountain range.

Ellir leaned forward, just enough to poke her hand through the portal. "There," she pointed, "That direction, I think."

Nodding, I pulled her hand back before closing the Gateway and opening another in the direction she'd pointed. We repeated this process several times, to the point where Grenwin put a supportive hand on my lower back as I sagged slightly.

Finally, she was satisfied, and we strode out onto a patch of unremarkable snow, in an unremarkable clearing.

"Clear the Gateway," I said, turning and making sure nobody was still crossing while I closed it.

To my surprise, there was a chorus of "Clear!" from each of them.

I closed the portal, the opening slimming until it turned in on itself, leaving a bright line that shrunk to a point and vanished.

"That might just be a thing we start doing," I said idly, "Helps make sure I don't leave anyone's arms or legs behind, right?"

Ellir chuckled slightly nervously, rubbing her arm as though a sudden chill had taken her.

"Good," Grenwin said, "Then we'll do that every time. Right?" She asked Ygdis, who nodded.

"Yup!"

Ellir nodded, before looking around the clearing. She strode around, examining branches of shrubs, turning over rocks, poking through bushes. After a while of this, she stood up and declared, "We walk this way." Pointing into the forest, she seemed confident.

There was a hysterical moment, an intrusive thought that I had bound myself to a madwoman who was leading me into some awful fate, but I shoved it aside forcefully. Ellir was trustworthy, and my sisters had my back, I reminded myself.

We walked in silence for a long time. There wasn't much to say, really, other than our mutual hope that things went well today.

In between steps, something changed. Saidar vanished as though it had never been, a deep chill passing through me. I stumbled, fell, as if I'd been half-blinded and half-deafened.

You're in shock, part of my brain told me.

Shove off, I told it back, barely cognizant at this point, feeling the loss like a keening wound. Did I fuck up? Did I push myself too far?

It didn't matter how hard I strove, or where I searched, the light was just gone. It had been present when I dreamt, but now…

I found myself in the realm of starry lights, my personal constellation whirling around me. Desperately I searched for the cluster I knew had to be around, and I found it. Here, at least, I could see the light of Saidar through one of the many stars at my disposal. Reaching blindly, I sought it, not sure what I was doing or how.

I brushed something, something that was between the lights, something I'd never seen or felt or noticed before. I pushed past it, desperate to reclaim what I'd lost. Grappling the light, I dove into it, before realizing that I hurt.

Everywhere, everything, was burning. Saidar was so close, it was right there, I just had to reach out-

In the middle of a snowy forest, as the sun began to fall below the trees, a young woman collapsed with a muffled cry, as though a puppet with strings cut. Her body hit the ground, a moment later surrounded by her companions.

They lifted her, took her back a little way, and settled down for the night. They figured if she kept breathing, she might wake up on her own.