I left the Lodge quickly, stewing on what I'd been told. I wasn't sure where I was heading, just somewhere else. Walking helped settle the ball of anxiety curdling my belly.

Looking at everyone celebrating life, I wondered how alien I must be. I hid it pretty well for a while, but I just don't get that spirit stuff. It's important to Ygdis, and she was hurt because I didn't understand.

Was she being literal when she said the river took her brother? Was it some sort of phrasing for falling into freezing water and being swept away? The Antler was powerful enough for that, and cold enough…

I found myself coming up to the weirwood, crimson leaves dappling the wildgrasses below with shadow. The face had stopped bleeding sap at some point, leaving it looking serene and happy.

Like it had been in that dream.

I shivered, walking around the tree to sit on the roots. A fern was poking up nearby, uncurling fronds to soak in the daylight.

Gently, I held the plant, wondering at how it had survived the snows until now. Hibernating?

Looking back over the village, I saw the same sort of things. The sheep had been let out, shepherds keeping an eye on the precious animals as they grazed and bleated happily, the small garden-boxes that Ellir grew her medicines were in full bloom, and all around people where doing small, strange things. One man emerged from the Lodge carrying a small sack and small clay plates, stopping and offering people tiny piles of some powder. Salt, or maybe sugar from the beets from the latest harvest.

The people taking the little dishes went around the outside of the village, walking around below the berm and sprinkling the powder around our defenses.

What were they up to? Surely, they have a reason. I know my people enough to know they didn't waste.

Woah, that was a weird thought. Wait, was I really that possessive over them?

Looking back, Jinhe had shown me that he can Earthshape, but was that the same as what I called Earthshaping?

…Maybe I need to reconsider what I count as magical. If I trust the people to have a reason, I need to learn the reason. Maybe I could disagree, but ultimately it was important enough that they felt the need to toss about a limited resource.

No, that wasn't right either, resource limitations don't matter much at the moment. The fabricator and recycler were both in full use now, since we'd begun training yesterday. When people learned that you could put in something irreplaceable and make more as long as it had the raw stuff.

Learning that thermites and thermates are just arrangements of powdered metals had been fun. Playing around with explosives out in the woods where nobody could get hurt had given Symon plenty of results to work with, on top of being an absolute blast.

Heh.

The fabricator couldn't handle everything, though. At some point there would be more people wanting to use it than could use it.

I groaned, realizing that I'd completely forgotten to actually start studying the rest of my abilities. Focusing on channeling had given me strength but it sure hadn't given me the wisdom to use it properly. I'd started treating it like my personal hammer a while ago, and now I needed to stop seeing nails everywhere. I had other options!

My Earthshaping isn't even related to channeling. It's related to my woodworking ability, the former feeding the latter. Why did that strike a chord with me? Earth provides rooting for Wood, so of course it would work out like that.

Footsteps approached and Ellir rounded the weirwood. She carried a few different small objects, fired clay cups and bowls and even a pitcher, scaled for children.

If she was surprised to see me, she didn't show it, giving me a nod before kneeling near the face of the tree and laying out the little objects.

"What are you doing?" I asked, curious.

She was quiet for a moment, focused on her work.

"My Gran was a wise woman," she said. "She passed to me what her mother's mother passed to her. There is an interesting tale she told me I would have you understand."

I cocked my head, moving to kneel closer to her.

"Ten generations and more our people have lived in this land." Ellir intoned, "Before our people came, this land belonged to the spirits." She eyed me for a moment before continuing. "Beings of the Earth, the Air, the Rivers, and the Ocean. Beings of fire who guided our fumbling hands as we sought homes of our own. Homes we found, in their lands, within their Domains."

"They taught us to speak, to hunt, to survive." She placed a small wooden carving on the ground, followed by a smoldering coal, the empty clay plate, a sliver of malformed iron slag, and the tiny pitcher of water. Arranged in a circle, she pointed at the coal.

"From them, we gained fire, loyalty to clan and tribe. A greater loyalty than family, a binding to their Domain." Pointing at the clay dish, "Fire has led our people to great highs and to deep lows. It rejuvenates as it burns, purifying the Earth of our homes. The Earth provides the root of who we are, and so long as we remember the feel of Home beneath our feet, we shall never lose ourselves."

Her finger drifted to the iron, "From Earth comes the metal we use to raise ourselves up, to defend ourselves from that which we cannot touch." She paused for a moment, looking at me. "Spirits are weak to iron, usually." Fiddling at her waist, she lifted up a small bead-string. The beads were rusty iron. "Good to keep some on you while travelling."

She turned back to her assembly, pointing at the water pitcher. "Water is family. It represents the ties that bind us, personally. If Fire is a greater loyalty, Water is personal loyalty. After our teachers departed, Water held where the Domains of Fire vanished. Water keeps us together, and it keeps us painfully separate. There is only the clan within and those without, and those without bring death and sickness."

Finally, her finger rested on the small wooden statue. "Wood is the fuel of Fire, Wood needs Water. Wood is change, and our people learned from those of Wood and Earth that we do not need to remain as we always were. We can be different. We can grow." She looked back over the village, "We can be better."

Within the arrangement of objects, she drew lines in the dirt. "These are the elements that give rise to the Ten Thousand things. Each overcomes and is overcome in turn." In the middle of the pentagram, she drew a circle, separated by a sinuous line, and my mouth went dry.

That was the symbol on my sword, and of the Aes Sedai.

What?

She pointed at the circle, "From this balance comes the truth of the world. For every ebb, there is a flow. For every high, a low. There is no name that encompasses the whole of it."

"It's… missing something." I said slowly, using a finger to poke two small divots on either side of that sinous line. "I remember this. It's, a seed of darkness within the light, and the seed of light within darkness. Balanced, in a way that the two alone could not be."

Ellir looked surprised, nodding thoughtfully. "I've heard that interpretation before. My Gran called it Yin and Yan. She said that the feminine Yin yields to the masculine Yan, and in turn Yan yields to Yin."

"Saidar and Saidin," I whispered, feeling revelation was close at hand. "To channel Saidar, I have to yield to it. To surrender myself. A man seizes Saidin. They're still, the same. Two halves of a whole."

Nodding thoughtfully, Ellir looked… Well, she seemed comfortable. In her element, as it were, and given how I'd treated her before, I suppose she had been in the right to be uncomfortable around me.

"You look like you've thought of something." She said, an invitation to share.

I took a deep breathe, centering myself. "I'm sorry, Ellir. I was… very rude to you, before."

Amusement sparkled across grey eyes. "Yes, you were. I forgive you."

"Just like that?" I asked in surprise. "I practically stomped all over what you were trying to tell me."

She shrugged, "We all have to start learning somewhere. That wasn't all you had to say, was it?"

"No," I frowned, looking at the elements. "Channeling uses threads of Air, Water, Fire, Earth, and Spirit. You said that metal, Iron, can be used to fight spirits. What am I missing?"

She hummed for a moment, looking at her diagram. "Could it be, then, that channeling is something of the spirit?" She asked herself, "Like viewing the shore from below clear water." Shaking her head, "I don't know. In the oldest stories, men and women could do great and terrible things. How much of that is legend and how much is fact, I cannot tell you. I can only tell you what I do know, and I know many stories."

"I think you might be more right than wrong?" I offered. "At least, the story I learned of channeling from consistently conjoins body and soul. The body must be capable, and the soul must as well, and if they aren't, one can be taught. I think, maybe, that's why some people come to it naturally and some can be taught." I mused, "The body is capable, but the soul needs to learn."

"I thought you didn't believe in spirits and souls?" Ellir teased.

I looked at her, the diagram on the ground, the tree, and the village.

"I think I need to re-examine those beliefs." I said. "Can you tell me another story?"

She hummed, nodding. "So long as you accompany me while I perform my rituals, yes."

"Deal," I told her. "Do you have any stories about internal balance? I… I don't think I'm really stable on the inside. I have… Nightmares, and weird dreams. When I was out in the Stedding, I dreamt I spent days with two peculiar women that said they were both me."

She blinked, thinking. "Eshe and the cave, I think." She tapped her chin, "Ah. Yes. Remember how Yin is feminine? It is also the bearer of the Ten Thousand things. Together, Yin and Yan are the world and everything within. Yin is the formless Earth, the shoreless Seas. Yin is darkness."

"A cave?" I asked.

"In my grandmother's mother's time, a young spearwife sought the strength to win her people from a cruel Chieftain, yet one that had and accord with the spirits of the forest. She wandered these lands and came upon a strange man sitting before a cave. A man stained by Yin, to the point his very flesh bore the darkness. His hands looked as though they had been long-frozen, yet they moved with power. Eshe asked the man, 'Is this a place of old power?'"

Ellir paused for a moment, wetting her throat with her waterskin. "The man replied, 'It is.'" She eyed me askance for a moment, "Remember that when dealing with spirits one must be polite, as they do not see humans as humans. Eshe told the spirit, 'I seek power to right the wrongs of my clan.' The spirit led her into the darkness, deep below the earth. After much time had passed, she asked the spirit, 'Where is the power I seek?' The spirit replied, 'It is within.'"

"So Eshe followed, and more time passed. She asked again, and received the same answer. When Eshe faltered of thirst, the spirit carried her onward, away from Agni and the ancestor-spirits of clan and family."

I nodded, listening closely.

"In the depths of Yin, bereft of supplies, she found herself near death. Once more, Eshe asked, 'Where is the power I seek?' Once more, the spirit told her, 'It is within.'"

"Bereft of hope, knowing herself a fool beyond bounds, she pled with the spirit to take her back, but the spirit refused. 'We may only move forward, never back,' he told Eshe. In the moment her despair overcame her pride, she surrendered to the darkness, and was empowered." Ellir shrugged, "She slew the chief and led the tribe for twenty years before the spirit returned to her. Eshe asked, 'Why are you here?' The spirit replied, 'There is a price to every bargain, and to every bargain a price. You found the power you sought. I will have my due.' That evening, Eshe passed into a fitful sleep, growing colder by the hour. My grandmother's mother could not save her, and my grandmother could not save her. She died with a smile on her lips."

I looked at her, "She… She found someone to teach her to channel. Or, something?"

Ellir shrugged. "Something is more likely. Spirits are not people, but some can understand us, a little. We call that spirit she met Coldhands around here."

"So, that isn't just a story, but a true story?" I asked, hesitant to accept that.

Ellir nodded gravely. "Should you see a man in old Night's Watch uniform with blackened hands, run. If Eshe at the height of her power could fall prey to a spirit's toll, do you think you would fair better?"

Remembering the way the Others had suborned my channeling, I shook my head. "The Others, they were stealing energy from my sun. I can believe that there are weaknesses. That I have weaknesses, even."

Ellir snorted, "The Others are not spirits. If they were, do you think your weapons would touch them at all?"

And there goes the anxiety-ball again.

Groaning, I cradled my head in my hands. Two steps forward, one step back.

"You said you dreamt of people?" Ellir prodded my arm with a finger. "What did they say?"

Lowering my arms, I scooted to be closer to the sunlight. Even thinking about that first dream sent unpleasant chills down my back.

"Different dreams, different people." I started slowly, "The first weird dream was here, in First Fork, but different."

She tilted her head with interest.

"Right, I woke up in my bed, but things were odd. Doors wouldn't stay open or closed, there weren't any people in the Lodge or anywhere, and the sky was full of different stars." Oh, right, "Everything was lit the same. Like, moonlight reflecting off of still water, but everywhere."

She narrowed her eyes. "You saw someone?"

I nodded, "Not at first. The town was empty, but there was… It was a crow cawing from the branches up there." I pointed straight up, not looking. "It had three eyes. It was talking to me."

Hugging my knees close to my chest, "There was another man. Tall, missing his left eye, large birthmark down the right side of his face, silver white hair and wearing a Night's Watch uniform. He- He took my sword from me, and stabbed me." I pointed forcefully over my heart, "I woke up bleeding. I was hurt for real. And there wasn't anything I could do! Saidar was distant, there was nobody around."

She reached over and scraped a tear from my cheek. Ugh, I shouldn't be crying over a bad dream.

"That… is not good." Ellir started slowly, "Dreams have power, Maia. Don't forget that. It sounds as though you had an unpleasant encounter with two of the more powerful spirits around. The Deserter and The Crow? I could see why they might be interested in the changes here, but I don't understand what they did."

I stared at her.

"That was real?"

She nodded, "More real than most dreams. That happens, sometimes. Most of the old stories say something close to 'Dreams touch the Spirits' world and some Dreams are gifts of the Spirits.' Your other dream, then. Tell me?"

Remembering Kasey's enthusiasm, I smiled. "Much more pleasant. I found myself in a grey void with two other women. One was straw-haired and exuberant, the other… Well, the other looked like me. Exactly like me. Kasey, the blonde, told me that she wasn't the original Kasey, but that she was like water filling the impression that Kasey left when… When she and Mai did something, and I woke up in the snow."

Ellir rocked back on her haunches, surprised. "Ho, that was unexpected. She told you that the first Kasey merged with the other girl?"

I nodded, thankful that someone knew something about it.

She looked at me for a moment, then sighed. "Spirit-children. I do not believe that is quite what you are, but it is not unknown. It explains some, at least, and I might be able to help. You said you felt that you felt imbalanced? Spirit-children can be unstable. Not high temper unstable, spiritually unstable. Most of the stories about them are about not leaving your children alone in the territory of unfriendly spirits, but others are warnings of what they can do."

"Do? Like…" Were they like me? "What I can do?"

"I don't know, Maia. When people talk about you, Bran the Builder is not far from their minds. That, however, is a southern name." She closed her eyes, looking sad. "Bran the Betrayer. The stories say he built the Wall with the help of giants."

I nodded, "The Ogier, right? They're friendly enough for that, and what I've heard about the mammoth-tenders, they aren't."

"Yes, the Ogier. Ask Jinhe what he thinks of that Brandon Stark. From what Elder Hamgwyn told me long ago, Brandon made a deal with the Ogier. They would stand with Men against the shadow of the Long Night, and in return, they would be welcomed back to the cities and towns as the brothers they are."

What was it Symon had said of giants?

"Tales of grumpkins and snarks, by what I've heard the watchmen from the North say. There haven't been giants in our lands since they had been driven north by the Greenhand, as the tales say, but there are skeletons, ruins, evidence of their existence. There's a small village on the Dornish coast called Ghost Hill. I've been there. It's not a hill, but a great settlement of unfathomable age buried under the earth. The signs are subtle but present."

"Brandon killed them?" I asked, horrified.

Ellir nodded, "As many as he could find once the Wall stood. Them, skinchangers, the singers, anything inhuman was driven out. Stedding Tsufi was resettled, in their accounting, by survivors."

Refugees. Fleeing genocide.

"Spirit-children, in the worst cases, do great and terrible things. That is not exaggeration, it is warning. I don't know what caused Brandon to cast aside oaths made to all within the Domain of Winter, only that the stories the Ogier have of him are consistent on that."

I clenched my fists, "I'm not him."

Ellir nodded gently, sadly. "But you could be."

I couldn't stop myself from flinching, even though I saw it coming.

"Then… I won't. I will be better." The words felt right to say, and I did mean it, even if I don't know where it came from.

Ellir grinned, "Good! Now, about Kasey. From what you've relayed, she's something like an ancestor-spirit."

"What do you mean?" I asked, surprised at the turn of conversation.

She gestured to the face in the Weirwood, "When we die, we are remembered by our friends, our family, our foes, and our most hated enemies. In a way, that remembrance can be enough for a soul to linger. We celebrate and remember our dead on the low solstice each year, but if you've dreamt of them, it's rather more urgent. Did she ask you to do anything for her?"

I nodded slowly, "She wanted me to find her a…" I looked at the face in the weirwood. "Oh. She wanted me to carve her into a tree. A weirwood."

"Do you want to?" She asked.

"Don't I have to, if it's an ancestor spirit?" I questioned, confused. This was about the time someone ought to say I should…

Ellir shook her head, "No. If the only reason you carve an Ancestor-Tree is because they wanted you to, it's not enough. You have to want that, to give them a second life, and that desire is what helps anchor spirit to vessel. Not all spirits can touch our world, fewer walk among us, and for the spirits of men, it can get tricky."

I nodded slowly, "I do. She was so… Not happy, but she seemed proud, of me. I'm not used to that, and I'd like to make sure she and Mai can stick around."

"Mai is the other girl?" Ellir asked, rising and bringing me with her.

"She is. She had this sword," I patted the sheathe, "She said it belonged to her brother."

Holding out her hands, "May I?"

Nodding, I unhooked from my belt and handed it to her.

She traced the incomplete Yin-Yang with her thumb, examining it.

"Huh." She said after a minute, "This sword feels like you." She looked over the village, "So that's what that was?"

"Ellir?" I asked, taking the sword back when she pushed it at me.

"You brought back Fire. We've always been strong in that, since the old days, but it has been missing for so long. We strive even at the embers we can find. Why do you think it is that the Kings-Beyond-The-Wall are called that?"

"They give people hope?" I offered.

"Close enough. Come on, I'll show you how to carve an Ancestor-Tree. We'll need real tools, not your Saidar. You need to do it with your hands, you see."

I didn't, nodding anyway. At least this was a start.

Once we'd collected my tools, the ones Herrick had originally gifted me, I made sure to let my sisters know that Ellir and I would be gone for a while.

Ellir promised it wouldn't take long to find a suitable tree, at least.

As the sun crested its zenith, we set off upriver. I was going to make sure Kasey and Mai both could stick around.

After all, it wasn't like I had much other family, right?

***

"Prince Bei, all crews report full readiness. The tides favor us. We may depart at your will."

Liu Bei turned from the hustle and bustle of Carcossa, nodding to the captain.

"Very well, Captain. Give the order to cast off." Bei clapped him on the shoulder, golden eyes boring into amber. "Journey of a lifetime, right? We don't know what's beyond the Vigilant Isles, so let's keep our rites and try not to piss off the Ocean."

Surveying the vessels he'd… Appropriated, he felt the now-familiar frisson of Loyalty. He had been ordered to locate and bring back his sister.

Lord Liu Fong, Dragon of the Seas, hadn't said anything about a fleet.

Five ironclad steamers, three of which were troop transports and supply vessels loaded to the gills with anything that might be useful. Two deep-sea patrol vessels would keep most pirates at bay, should they run into pirates.

Men screamed and metal clashed in the storm-swept darkness. Bei crossed blades with a smirking silent man, hoping to drive him and his men back to their vessel. How the sentries had missed the raiders, he knew not, only that a wooden ship bearing a black sail with a single red eye had gotten right up on their starboard flank.

Shaking his head, he cast aside the intrusive vision. He needed to stay grounded. Basic breathing exercises restored enough focus to keep the episodes from coming quite so strongly, but he'd slipped for just a moment.

"Prince Bei?" Captain Heijo asked him, caution in his eyes.

"It's nothing I can't handle, brother." Bei gave him a one-armed hug. "I just miss my sister, that's all."

The man seemed satisfied for the moment with that.

Bei looked out over to calm eastern ocean, as though he could see the foreign lands beyond.

I will find you, Mai. Father be damned, I've seen your freedom. So long as I stand, nothing will take that.

The first rays of dawn splashed over his features, and he smiled even as his Loyalty to their father broke.

"Captain Heijo," Bei said, "I believe I will need to rest for… Some time." I've broken loyalty, now I just have to survive the day. Agni, you see why I have to?

The captain nodded, a look of understanding crossing his features.

Bei could feel his inner fire ebbing even as he made his way to the medical bay. He had just enough time to tell one of the healers that he had a bad case of seasickness before he collapsed and conscious thought fled.

So cold. Like I'll never see the sun again. I have to live, have to make it.

Liu Bei slipped into oblivion, smile on his lips.