Disclaimer: I do not own any part of ATLA in any way, shape, or form. I own NOTHING!

Chapter 16:

ZUKO

I expected the journey to Gaoling to be nothing short of torture, but it is painless enough all things considered. Korri, Sokka, and Suki make everything easier, acting as both a buffer and distraction. With their presence smoothing the way, Katara and I slip into our old pre-comet habits, which luckily consisted of us bickering and begrudgingly working together.

Aside from the occasional prolonged glance and the general awkwardness surrounding any form of physical touch, there is nothing that would indicate anything is amiss between Katara and me. The fact that Katara and I have almost always had some form of tension linking us works in our favor and helps to cloak some of the truth. If Suki and Sokka suspect anything, they don't let on.

Traveling with them is exactly as I remember it. Sokka has his schedules and is never shy when it comes to food and hunger. He is no less clumsy and accident-prone, but Suki - forever reliable but never afraid to speak her mind - is always close and keeps him in check.

Katara and Sokka engage in what I have learned is healthy, normal sibling banter. It contrasts drastically with any banter (if it could even be considered that) I ever had with Azula, but I try not to dwell on that or the fact that it makes the scar on my chest itch.

As we trek the ridged mountain ranges surrounding the town, Katara and I give Suki and Sokka some Korri-rearing lessons. If they are going all the way to the South Pole together, Sokka and Suki need to step in and I need to step back. So I make some strategic maneuvers to distance myself not only from Katara but from Korri too.

I tell myself this will make the inevitable separation easier for all of us, that it has nothing to do with my feelings for Katara, but I no longer trust myself. I've proven time and time again how hard it is for me to be honest with myself.

Once we cross the summit and can see Gaoling, we see that it was not spared by the comet. It was not completely destroyed, but it is far from unscathed. A lot of the buildings are mostly rubble or at the very least clumsily patched back together. The fields and crops are attempting to bud with spring's help, but they were nothing more than soot not long ago. However, it seems habitable and is full of refugees as a result.

We make our way through the once-bustling town and see the usual signs of famine and disease. Fire Scourge has made an appearance here as well, which, of course, prompts Katara to hop into action.

"She'll be occupied all day," I announce as Katara wanders farther and farther away from us, following the trail of the sick and hungry deeper into Gaoling. "We might as well find a way to make ourselves useful."

Placing her hands on her hips, Suki looks around at all the destruction and subsequent reconstruction going on around us. "Shouldn't be hard to do."

With that, we hop into action too. For the duration of the day, we do anything and everything from helping rebuild buildings, homes, and fences to feeding pig chickens to assisting merchants with various deliveries around town.

It is sundown by the time we finally find Katara again in the market square talking to a young couple with a baby. Reeking of sweat and pigsters, we weave through the crowd in the market and approach her.

Katara's nose wrinkles at the sight of us. "What happened to you?"

"A better question would be what didn't happen to us," Suki declares as she passes Korri to me. Momo takes the opportunity to climb onto me as well, snatching a bug off Korri's back as he goes.

Sokka picks at the palm of his hand. "I think my splinters have splinters…"

Unthinking, Katara reaches out and pulls a pigster feather out of my hair. Our eyes meet, and I see the silent apology and regret swirling inside the blue of her eyes just before I look away. Oblivious, Korri takes the feather from Katara's hand and swings it around with glee.

"It took you dunderheads long enough!"

Toph emerges from somewhere in the crowd, her stance broad and smug as her fists rest on her hips. However, she isn't able to hold the tough front for long. The moment Katara moves to close the gap between them, Toph shrinks almost two sizes right before our eyes. She is suddenly a child as she crashes into Katara's form and Sokka's arms envelop them both.

"I didn't think you'd ever get here!" she grouses but her hands grip them desperately, betraying her and showing just how much she's missed them.

Katara casts her gaze back to Suki and me and motions for us to join them.

'Get over here, Zuko. Being part of the group also means being part of group hugs.'

I join in - albeit reluctantly. As I squeeze in next to Sokka and Toph, I am almost as reluctant as I was the first time Katara demanded I join a group hug, but I also feel as comforted and accepted as I did that very first time. I feel the warmth of belonging. There is a faint twinge of regret and sadness mixed in as well, but I push it down. I resolve to deal with those feelings later. I don't let them ruin the moment. We are all together again, and right now, that is all that matters.

Gaoling (or what's left of it) has apparently become a base of sorts for the White Lotus, Toph's metalbending pupils, and former Earth Rumble fighters.

As we follow Toph through the passageways of the Earth Rumble stadium, she explains how she took it and an old earthbending academy over to start her own underground metalbending academy.

"Whoa," Katara marvels as she bumps into me to make way for a couple of Earth Rumble fighters in weird getups. "Look at this place."

"It's like a circus…" Suki adds, her eyes following the fighters down the long, rubble-filled corridor.

"More like a liability," I grumble and glance over at Toph. "How are you getting away with this?"

Toph waves a hand around dismissively as Momo crawls onto her head. "This place was destroyed by the comet, raided by bandits, then raided again by the Fire Nation. Everyone thought it was abandoned after that. I'm sure they'll come sniffing around again soon, but we'll be gone by then."

"What about your parents?" Katara asks. "Are they okay?"

"They're back home at wit's end." Toph scoffs then snickers. "I'm sure you guys and the baby will probably send them over the edge, but they got surprisingly sentimental after the comet. They still hate what I'm doing but what's new? The only difference now is that all the damage has humbled them enough that they're willing to stick their necks out to help and 'have a relationship with their daughter'. Whatever that means."

We reach the dilapidated stadium and see several of Toph's pupils scattered around doing various kinds of training exercises. Some are tossing chunks of metal back and forth while others are still working on simply getting the metal to move. There are only two who are actually sparring.

"They aren't much to look at yet, but you shoulda seen them when they first got here," Toph says but the pride in her voice is evident. "Don't worry, though. They'll be in fighting shape by the time we're ready to take on King Ozai. I'm going to go out and recruit more soon too. So just picture more of them with a wider skillset."

I can practically hear the wheels turning in Sokka's head as he eyes Toph's protege. Everyone can probably hear my wheels turning too.

Sokka snickers. "Maybe we can just metalbend Ozai into submission."

"I already suggested using an army of metalbenders to put an end to all this, but Iroh and Bumi just gave me some crap about that not being our best course of action right now," she huffs, blowing her bangs out of her face.

"They'll still be incredibly useful, Toph." Katara places an assuring hand on Toph's shoulder. "We'll need them for… whatever comes…"

Toph turns toward me. "They're all yours if you decide you wanna take on the Fatherlord yourself, Sparky."

The statement is blanketed in jest, but there is a semblance of a real offer in it too, which once again begs the question I've already been asking myself: Do I try to dethrone the Phoenix King myself?

It is dark when we finally leave the stadium and the metalbenders and go to the Beifong estate, which is bigger than I was expecting despite the damage. I can tell it was an extravagant manor with sprawling, well-kept gardens and tall creamy walls covered in ornate designs and expensive tapestries.

As we make our way through the house itself, I am reminded that Toph is technically wealthy and comes from an esteemed family, something I have continually forgotten. But how could you not forget that? Toph acts nothing like any of the rich people I've ever been around.

"Where is my uncle?" I ask as Toph leads us through the home.

"If I were to guess, he's probably chatting with my dad somewhere. Those two have gotten pretty chummy since he got here."

We reach a cozy study at the end of the hallways and that's where we find Uncle who - just as Toph expected - is playing Pai Sho with who I assume is Toph's father.

"Nephew!" He beams, his amber eyes wrinkling up at the edges.

The moment I see Uncle and his warm, amiable smile, I can't close the gap between us fast enough. He has barely gotten to his feet when I all but collapse against him. I go limp with relief, swathed in the familiar comfort that I have only ever known with him.

My eyes close as he pats my back. "I've missed you, Uncle."

We have tea in the oversized dining room, which likely once hosted all kinds of parties for upper-crust Earth Kingdom society. Now it seats a table full of ragtag fugitives.

Uncle's tea is warm and his equally warm voice is a magically soothing sound that fills me with an almost overwhelming sense of calm. I knew I missed him, but I didn't realize just how much until I was with him again, but the evening is still bittersweet. Sweet with how all of us are back together but bitter with Aang's absence. Somehow, all of us being together calls even more attention to the fact that he is gone, like a puzzle with only one piece missing.

I can't keep my eyes from going to Korri, who sits in Poppy Beifong's lap and babbles to Toph.

We sit together and once again go through the tedious motions of catching up and filling in blanks for each other. We eat, drink, and joke, but we all know things will never be like they were before. Not really. We are no different from the Earth Kingdom or even the house we inhabit. Sure, we can rebuild, but irreparable damage has been done.

"I think I'm gonna have to side with Zuko on this one. I'm not sure this squelchy thing is the new Twinkletoes." Toph's mouth slants into a weird simper. "My money is on the swampbender."

"You're on!" Sokka cries as he pulls several lint-covered silver pieces out of his pocket.

Katara slaps the back of his head. "Don't turn this into a bet!"

Toph folds her arms and rolls her eyes. "I see that you're as uptight as ever. I was hoping all your time with Zuko would've gotten you to loosen up."

I bring my teacup to my mouth to keep my face from betraying me or revealing anything. Oh, I got her to loosen up all right. Just not with things like this.

Luckily, the subject at the table changes, releasing Katara and me from any obligation to speak on our time together. But our eyes still briefly meet in quiet acknowledgment.

We haven't really spoken to each other since that night in the Foggy Swamp, but at this same time, it feels like that conversation never really ended. We continue to communicate in other ways. We say things without saying them. We have these silent exchanges where we confess to one another, wordlessly paying our respects to what we both know still lives inside us - at least for now. Buried but not dead.

Every afternoon since we arrived here, Uncle and I hole up in one of the manor's many beige sitting rooms and talk until we can almost feel the morning sun coming.

"The White Lotus doesn't want me to fight my father for the throne, do they?" I finally ask Uncle outright.

Uncle sighs. "No."

I'd been expecting this. It explains why Bumi was so dodgy and cryptic whenever I tried to get guidance or pry information out of him. They don't want me to stop my father. They still want the Avatar to.

I bolt to my feet and pace, almost taking an end table with me as I go. "Then what am I supposed to do for the next decade while we wait for the Avatar - if there even is still an Avatar - to grow up? People are suffering, Uncle, and things are only going to get worse!"

"Okay," Uncle begins calmly, reclining in his chair and folding his hands over his stomach, "Let's pretend you amass a force strong enough to help you fight for the throne and win. Ozai is defeated. What about his supporters? What about those who would see you as an usurper? What about Azula? We would be looking at unrest and civil war."

I walk over to the fireplace mantel and lean against it, my head falling in defeat. "Then what are we supposed to do?"

It is the same haggard question but with only a slightly different ring to it.

"What the rest of us are doing: helping out wherever we can however we can. And I never said that you couldn't look for support or allies, but do you really believe that defeating your father is your destiny?"

When Aang died, I felt like our previous destinies died with him. I suddenly felt responsible for fixing everything, for righting our wrongs, redeeming our failure. Now I realize what I said to my father on the day of the eclipse could still be true. Stopping him is the Avatar's destiny. Not mine.

Uncle nods as if he hears my thoughts. He rises to his feet and joins me by the fireplace.

"All of us must face that the war is over and for the time being, we are going to have to find a way to live in Ozai's new world." Uncle's hand falls onto my shoulder. "I know you have a strong vision of what you want your life to be. I know you want your throne, your destiny, and I have no doubt that you will have it all one day. But that day isn't today. That day may not be here for a while yet, so you need to think about the life you may have to live in the meantime, even if it isn't what you've always pictured for yourself."

I don't answer, and I don't look at him. I keep my eyes trained on the fire, watching how it laps at the wood it slowly consumes.

After all this time, Uncle is still asking me to consider what I want from life and I am once again struggling to answer. It is as if we are back in Ba Sing Se, bickering about a simple life of peace and prosperity.

I don't want to make a life here, I'd said.

Life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not, he'd argued.

My mind flickers to the moments of contentment I had with Katara and Korri. I fight the memories as they come, but I didn't mind living alongside Katara. As bleak as our circumstances are, I didn't mind pretending to be her fiancé Lee as we traveled the Earth Kingdom or residing in the South Pole as a tribesman, or even playing family on Ember Island. A part of me even wished for those lives, wished to make them last, to milk them for all that they were worth, to wring out every last drop.

A life with Katara is the first thing that has rivaled my passion for my country, my honor, and my throne. Because I felt a sense of home with her.

I almost laugh at the pain of it, how I am addicted to misery, how I always want what I can't have.

There's a knock on the door.

"Come in," Uncle calls politely.

Katara peeks inside. I glance over my shoulder at her, rubbing at my chin in mild agitation. My agitation isn't with her, though. As usual, my agitation is with myself.

"Are you two joining us for dinner? Or are you going to eat here?" She hugs the doorframe.

"We will come out and join the rest of the living for dinner. We've been cooped up in here long enough, don't you think, Nephew?" Uncle smiles at Katara and me.

I look back down into the empty fireplace. "Yeah."

"Okay…" she replies, picking up on my mood. "We'll make a place for you two at the table then."

Katara shuts the door, but Uncle gives me a knowing look.

"Are you going to tell me about what happened between you two?"

I sigh heavily and brush past him. "Not tonight."

We get comfortable in Gaoling. Really comfortable. Too comfortable. The Beifongs told us to make ourselves at home, and we definitely did. All of us collapse into an easy rhythm here.

During the day we help around the town or train with one another. Katara and I have enjoyed testing our skills against the metalbenders and Toph. It is a nice change of pace since we've been training with each other for so long. Suki, Sokka, and I brush up on our combat skills, and even Uncle and I do some firebending together.

Then, at night, we sit around the Beifongs' giant dining table and eat the last meal of the day together before relocating into the sitting room where we drink tea with Uncle and prattle on for hours. Sometimes, if we aren't too tired, we even play Pai Sho.

Uncle and Korri have hit it off because of course they have. She loves yanking his beard and she finds him hilarious, something Uncle can't get enough of. He has her planted on his hip often, talking to her and telling her stories as if she has a fully developed vocabulary. She answers with babbles so well, I almost think she does.

Toph, despite Katara's insistence, prefers to keep her distance from the baby. Where my reluctance came from a fear of attachment and failure, her reluctance is linked more to the fact that she had no idea what to do with a baby. She holds her begrudgingly and will use earthbending to play with her and toss her around, something that horrifies Katara whenever she sees it but only serves to egg Toph on. I can tell Toph is already getting attached in the short time we've been here, though. I knew the moment she gave Korri the nickname Squishy.

The days bleed together and go by quickly, spurred on by how much we simply enjoy being together. Our time here has become a reprieve of sorts, this weird limbo between movements, but I am growing antsy. As great as it is being with the others again, as much as I relish every single second here, I feel like I've wasted so much time. I can't shake the feeling that I will be more useful to the world elsewhere. I feel like I need to make a move, one that isn't necessarily linked to the next Avatar.

"It's time for us to go," I finally say to Uncle.

We finished eating lunch with the others not too long and retreated to the estate's garden for a moment of peace before heading back to help around town. I wasn't necessarily planning on having this conversation now, it just…came out.

"You don't want to go with the others," Uncle states more than asks. It is more of an observation.

I alternate between yanking dead grass out of the ground beneath me and watching Sokka and Katara on the busted bridge not too far away from us. Their feet dangle off the ragged edge over the shallow water, swaying lightly back and forth as they whisper to each other.

"I can't," I utter because I really can't. I can't go back to the South Pole with Katara. I promised to let go. I tell myself that is the greatest kindness I can offer her, and I know myself well enough to know that I can't keep that promise if I go back there. Besides, it isn't efficient for all of us to continue to travel together like this. It no longer makes sense.

Uncle simply nods. He doesn't push the subject, and I'm grateful.

"Then where do you want to go?" he counters from his lazy position underneath one of the garden's sturdier trees.

"North. Northwest," I reply vaguely.

"In that case, may I recommend we go to the Misty Palms Oasis to meet up with some of the other members of the White Lotus?" Uncle prompts.

"Okay," I answer because why not? It seems as good a place to go as any to start my pitiful little campaign.

"What are you two whispering about?" Toph asks as she slots herself on the ground next to Uncle and me and immediately begins picking at the bottom of her feet.

"Leaving," I deadpan.

"Already?" Toph almost whines, the cap on her emotions slipping and making her sound younger than she normally does.

I let more dead grass slip through the gaps in my fingers. "You should consider it too. You've been here longer than Uncle. Not to mention how dangerous it is for us to all be in one place like this."

"True. I've been meaning to head out and get new recruits anyway." Toph's posture straightens, chest puffing slightly with newfound resolve. "Where are you two headed?"

"The Misty Palms Oasis," Uncle announces with a slight flourish. "You're welcome to join us."

"Sure." A small smile tugs at one side of her mouth. "Count me in."

"What are we counting?" Sokka asks, feeding nuts to Momo on his shoulder as he and Katara gather around us.

"I'm finally getting my field trip with Zuko!" Toph announces as she loops an arm around my neck and pulls me into something that may be a hug but feels more like a chokehold.

"What?" Katara's expression is a mix of confusion, intrigue, and worry.

"They're going to the Misty Palms Oasis and I'm going with them to find more pupils," Toph clarifies.

Frowning, Katara looks at me as if to confirm. Silently asking: Is this true? Are you leaving?

I can't hold her gaze.

Fucking coward.

Toph smirks. "Don't worry, Sugar Queen. I'm not keeping Zuko for long. You'll get him back."

Later that night, I am unable to sleep. I can't pinpoint the exact reason why. Not that I even need a reason anymore. Or maybe I have too many reasons. I have more than enough to pick from. It could honestly be anything. Or everything. But the most likely culprit tonight is my pending separation from the others.

Unable to handle my sober thoughts anymore, I decide to search the Beifong estate for something to drink. I just need a little something to take the edge off, something to make my brain just fuzzy enough that I can sleep. These people are - were? - rich. They have to have some kind of alcohol around here.

As quietly and discreetly as I can, I start searching rooms, cupboards, and armoires. Eventually, I find a liquor cabinet hidden in Lao's study. There is so much inside, indicating that Lao isn't much of a drinker and won't miss anything I take. I help myself to a bottle of what looks like some form of whiskey and take it out to the gardens with me.

The Beifong's garden quickly became my favorite place on the estate. I've spent a lot of time here since we arrived. It reminds me of the one back home at the palace. So much so that I can almost smell cherry blossoms and Mom's perfume and hear the splashing of turtle ducks.

I find a budding patch of green grass that is fighting its way through the charred earth near the stream. I collapse onto it, pop the bottle open, and take a quick gulp. It doesn't taste quite like fire whiskey, but it'll still serve its purpose.

The night is cool — almost chilly — and quiet, heady with the aroma of vernal freshness. I close my eyes and bask in the sensation of it for a moment, listening to the chirping of bugs and the trickle of the stream flowing under the damaged bridge.

Footsteps rustle behind me, then Sokka is sitting down next to me.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asks, folding his arms over his raised knees and looking over at me.

"No," I reply as I offer him the bottle.

He takes it without much thought. "Me either."

Sokka and I have finally learned how to sit in silence together. I almost laugh at how different this is from the time we were on my war balloon together on the way to the Boiling Rock. Back then, we could hardly stand for a few seconds of silence to pass between us. Now, I think we could stay like this for hours.

"I never thanked you for going home with Katara," he says, his gaze out in front of us, focused on the weak flow of the stream. "You know, for staying with her and giving us a chance to look for Dad and the new Avatar."

I shake my head. "You don't have to thank me."

You shouldn't thank me.

I've been so busy sulking and feeling sorry for myself over everything that happened with Katara that I haven't had a chance to tap into the guilt I should also be feeling. Until now. I feel it acutely now.

"Well, I still want to." He tilts his head toward me and smiles as he passes the bottle back. "So thank you."

"Don't mention it."

No. Really. Don't mention it.

"I know you're planning on leaving with Iroh, but you know you can come with us too, right?" Sokka places a hand on my shoulder and shakes me a little. "We're a family now. All of us."

I exhale, sounding more exasperated than I meant to. "Yeah. I know."

Sokka throws a rock into the stream. "Katara would never admit it, but I think she wants you to come with us."

Katara doesn't know what she wants… I reply privately, the bitterness of that thought so strong the alcohol is suddenly sour on my tongue.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who can't sleep." Suki slips onto the ground and curls up next to Sokka.

"Welcome to the club," I muse as I raise the bottle.

"Why, thank you," she replies as she swipes the bottle from me and takes a sip.

"I thought I felt people rumbling around out here."

The next thing I know, Toph is flopping onto the ground next to me, making herself comfortable.

"We can't sleep," Suki states as Momo flies over and perches himself on top of her head. She reaches up and gives him a quick scratch.

"Yeah, me either." Toph falls to her back and folds her arms behind her head.

Then, I hear those oh-so-familiar footfalls. They make my heart ache and speed up at the same time. I dread them yet long for them. I'm so split on how I feel that it at least makes feigning indifference easier.

"What are all of you doing out here?" Katara asks, her voice slathered in that protective, maternal tone she's been using more since we got here.

"Well, we were trying to have a party without you," Toph teases.

"Clearly." Katara smirks and - to my surprise - slots herself between Toph and me.

Suki tries to hand the bottle back to me, but Katara snatches it away before I can get my hands on it. She takes it, not because she wants it but because she doesn't want me to have it.

"Let me guess," Katara continues as she eyes the amber liquid, "Zuko started this little party on his own?"

I take the bottle back from her. Maybe it is because I'm already a little buzzed, but I pin her with a hard gaze as I pull the bottle from her grip.

"How'd you know?" I leer, leaning closer to her than I've dared to since we got here.

"Could be the fact that I've lived with you since last summer," she retorts smugly but there is very little bite to her words. It is as if she's run out of steam when it comes to trading blows with me, like she used up everything in our last fight.

"Geez, has it really been that long?" Toph exclaims with a breathy chuckle.

"Mm," I rumble as I lean away from Katara and take another drink.

"I can't believe that." Suki frowns. "It feels like we were just on Ember Island together…"

"I still can't believe Aang is gone," Toph says softly as Momo leaps over and curls up onto her stomach as if to comfort her. "I mean, I know he is, but you know what I mean."

Katara pries the bottle out of my hands again. This time she takes a drink.

"I guess he isn't really gone, right?" Suki probes, attempting to lighten the mood. "He's here just…in a different way. I can feel him sometimes, can't you?"

We all nod. Even I do.

"But I still miss him," Sokka responds gently, a wistful smile on his face.

"Well, this is depressing." Toph sits up and tugs at Katara's sleeve. "Give me some of that."

Katara points a rebuking finger at her and reluctantly passes the bottle. "Fine but we're monitoring how much you have."

Toph waves the remark away. "Yeah, yeah, sweetness. I know we can only have so much fun with you here."

The bottle goes round and round between us until it is empty and we are all a little buzzed - Sokka and I more so than anyone else.

"Are you sure you didn't have a secret thing with Haru?" Toph asks, her eyes narrowed at Katara with intense scrutiny.

Katara rolls her eyes. "I'm sure."

"I think Haru would go for it if he thought he had a chance." I lean back on my palms and toss my hair out of my face.

"It doesn't matter because it didn't happen, and it's not going to happen!" Katara snaps.

Suki stretches across Sokka's lap and looks up at me. "Did you ever have a secret thing with Ty Lee?"

"Eww, no," I grumble, grimacing at the thought.

"Why not? I always thought she was prettier than Mai," Sokka slurs, and Suki hits him in the shoulder immediately. "Ow! What did I say?!"

I shrug. "I just never felt that way about her. Ty Lee is too…Ty Lee."

"You had sex with Mai, though, didn't you?" Sokka wiggles his eyebrows at me.

My face heats and my jaw sets. "I'm not answering that."

"Can we please talk about something else?" Katara drawls as she lies down and curls up on the ground dangerously close to me.

Sokka and Toph oblige and drop the subject. They quickly move on to argue about which Earth Rumble fighters he could take in a fight (both with and without Suki's help), but I zone out somewhere along the way. All I can focus on is how close Katara is to me and her cool breath gliding along my skin.

Half-drunk and half-asleep, Katara takes hold of my arm and pulls it to her like a stuffed animal.

I shift and try to slip my arm out of her grip, but I only make things worse.

"Stop, Zuko. I'm cold," Katara slurs. She lets go of my forearm but only so she can curl her hands around my thigh and rest her head across my lap.

Sighing heavily, I hold my hand up and away from her. I glance over at Sokka, who is unfortunately watching, and give him a pleading look.

Chuckling, Sokka reaches over and shakes her shoulder. "Katara, wake up."

"Don't, Zuko," she whines, nuzzling at my lap and fighting to stay close to the warmth that radiates off of me. "I said, I'm cold."

"We should get her to bed," I say.

"It's late. All of us should probably get back to bed," Suki adds as she gets to her feet and brushes off the back of her legs.

"Take her," I say to Sokka, motioning to his sister who is still in my lap.

Sokka snickers. "I don't think she wants me to."

I glare at him. "Take her anyway."

"Okay, okay." He holds his hands up playfully in mock surrender as he approaches. I help him pry her off me and draw her back to her wobbly feet. "Up we go."

As Sokka lifts her and carries her off, Katara continues to mumble about being cold. She may even say my name, but I pretend I don't hear it.

The next morning, I steel my resolve and pack up all my things. I thank the Beifongs for accommodating us and go through the unpleasant motions of telling Sokka and Suki goodbye.

"She's putting Korri down for a nap," Sokka says, as I put the last of my things into my pack. He must have noticed how my eyes kept darting to the doorway in silent search of his sister as we chatted. Or maybe he just knew we hadn't said our goodbyes yet.

Nodding, I lug my pack over my shoulder and head down the hallway.

I find Katara in one of the many guest bedrooms perched on a windowsill. The massive window is open, allowing the spring in the gardens outside to flutter in and fill the room with hues of languid early afternoon gold.

The sounds, colors, and smells of spring outside serve as yet another reminder that life indeed goes on. The world as we knew it ended, but the seasons continue to change. Nature is moving on - not without difficulty - and forcing us to do the same.

Korri sleeps soundly in Toph's old crib on the other side of the room under Katara's ever-watchful eye. I envy her obliviousness, her innocence. I'd give almost anything to sleep that well.

"I came to say goodbye," I announce.

A despondent smile tugs at the edges of Katara's mouth as she nods.

Sliding my bag off my shoulder, I walk over to the crib. I pat Korri's dark, curly head and then her back. It is as much of a goodbye as I can muster. I don't wake her. There's no point in making this harder.

I turn my attention back to Katara who has left her perch on the windowsill. She rubs at her arm, worrying the dark, smooth skin between her elbow and shoulder.

"Bye, Katara."

It happens so fast. I blink then her body smashes into mine. She wraps her arms around me, her face burying in my neck. Tears trickle down her face. I feel the dampness of them on my skin.

"I don't want you to go," she whimpers, laughing nervously to hide her pain.

Those words are going to break my heart. I don't want to leave her either, but I have to.

"I know. I know…" My palm cradles the back of her head as she clings to me as if her life depends on it.

I pull away and take her face in my hands before pressing my forehead to hers. We are a breath apart as I wipe her tears away with my thumbs.

Her eyes are red. Her cheeks are flushed. Her lips are parted. Her thick lashes are wet with tears. Despite all this, she is still one of the most - if not the most - beautiful thing I've ever seen.

My eyes linger on her lips. I want her so bad I almost feel sick.

I shouldn't, but I want it. No, I need it.

I break my promise and kiss her. Our lips slot together easily. Too easily. It is so easy it isn't fair.

She whimpers then lets out a soft, little moan like she is relieved. I almost groan too as she melts against me and our bodies fuse.

I grimace against the kiss before I break it because it hurts. It is the most painful kiss I've ever experienced.

I say nothing as I pull away, tearing our bodies apart, and it isn't a clean tear. It isn't a clean break. It is ragged and uneven. Chunks and pieces of me stay stuck to her as a wretch away, and I feel myself peeling off strips of her too, shreds forever soldered onto my skin.

Then I leave abruptly because that is the only way I will be able to.

A/N: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

No one panic! This separation is temporary. Next time we will have a nice little time jump because I don't want to write chapters without these two interacting any more than you want to read them!

Thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!