AN: If you like the MCU, The Sanest Family, is my fic set after Iron Man II that focuses on Natasha Romanova building her family and a Bucky Barnes/Steve Rodgers slow burn romance ;D
Chapter 12 - Floating Fish
Despite their new living arrangements, and Anakin's possible interest in opting out of being a Knight, he still required training in the Force. And he still wanted Obi-Wan to train him, or at least, he thought he had.
Obi-Wan was changed man, and instead of telling his Padawan to restrain himself, he was telling him to push himself to the limits.
By Anakin's exasperated expression, he wasn't appreciative of his Master's new found wisdom.
They had been going at this for only a few hours now and Anakin was sweaty and panting. Anakin was not, however, exhausted or even close to his limit.
Obi-Wan merely folded his hands in his sleeve, "Size matters only because you believe it does. We set our own limits, and we should, for the more of the Force you channel the more you must open yourself up to it and the galaxy around. You particularly, must keep intent in mind."
Anakin visibly fight not to glare at him, "Why?"
"Because, you are, my dear Padawan, use the Living Force and thus you are more susceptible to the waves, within every single moment, you must choose between the Dark and the Light, you must rise above each crest lest you drown and are at the ocean's mercy."
Anakin's nose wrinkled, "Is that why all the Masters like the Cosmic Force so much, because there is no Darkness?"
Obi-Wan shook his head, "No, it is just simpler for many to follow tides rather than venturing so close to shore. You cannot be detached with the Living Force. That was a mistake Qui-Gon made often enough. He was too focused on his goals, and not aware enough of his own emotions, that he sometimes didn't realize when he had been misled."
Anakin frowned at him, "You mean he was misled by the Dark Side?"
Obi-Wan shrugged, "A man like Qui-Gon, he was calm in almost any circumstances… However, when his temper broke— well, it wouldn't have helped against Maul who could easily take advantage of an unbalanced Master, but make no mistake, he was a Force to be reckoned with. I do not know all the mistakes he made, for he was older by the time he took me."
The last was a very deliberate remark and he could practically feel Qui-Gon's frown over their bond, "He was very strict with himself and others for it. He was also a man with many regrets."
Sadness flowed across the bond, an acknowledgement and an apology.
Funny how taking Dooku's advice made Qui-Gon easier to handle, he wished he had known his grandmaster before he fell.
"How does this help me lift the rock?"
Obi-Wan smiled, "Intent, purpose, concentration. You needn't let go of emotion to channel the Force, but you are never to use anger to use it. For if you do, it will be magnified, and you will open yourself up to suffering and darkness of the galaxy and you will drown."
"What happens if you drown?" Anakin asked.
"Then you will become someone who you are not, but your actions will still be your doing, for however lost we are, you are Master of your own mind."
Even if you were breaking. That philosophy, and Rael, were about the only things keeping him from falling apart in front of the others.
"What if you're sick?" Anakin asked.
"Then you are a victim who victimizes others. Is that what you are, Anakin?" it came out sharp.
Too harsh, he could hear Qui-Gon's voice despite him not being here.
Perhaps he was watching over the bonds. Force bonds weren't logical even before one accounted for channelling the dead.
Obi-Wan took in a deep breath and held up his hand, before Anakin could respond, "That does not mean you or I are incapable of making mistakes if you do lose control. But this is what it means to be a Jedi. To become a Jedi Padawan is a serious matter because we teach our descendants things that could do great harm to others. We all have the responsibility to not abuse that. The more power you gain, the more disciplined you must become. The Sith believe that is what makes us weak. They are wrong; true strength in restraint, not destruction."
Anakin shook his head, "But if I want to save people—"
"If you must kill, then do it as a protector, not out of hate. The Force will give you all that you need if you can remain centred. If you can give that which is meant to be given then the Force will share its grace and wisdom with you. The Light is a thing of creation."
"And the Dark?"
"Light and Dark exist within us, where Darkness is most apparent is around chaos and so many attribute the cause of such chaos to the Darkness. But that is not so. It is up to each individual whether they will dance to that eternal song in the Light or within Darkness. You give to the Light and the Light gives in turns, but to use the Dark you must take from the Force, and it will take all that you are in return, whether you consent to it or not."
"So there really isn't a Dark or a Light, it's how we treat the Force and how the Force responds to that treatment?" Anakin asked.
Obi-Wan smiled, "That, I believe, is closer to a definition and understanding than many Masters would like to admit. If nothing else, remember this, the Force is not a power you have, it is a language you are learning."
Anakin stared at him.
Obi-Wan waited.
Finally, Anakin asked, "Okay, but what about the rock?"
Obi-Wan sighed, "If your intention is to lift the rock." A large rock in a large pool under balancing pillars for training. "Then focus and you will lift the rock."
"But it's a giant boulder!"
"He's right, Obi-Wan," Quin said.
Obi-Wan had sensed them in the room some time ago before Quin and the others —Aayla, Mace, Depa, and Yoda— finally approached.
Quin continued, "You've been at it for hours and not only will he be exhausted if he lifts that rock, but you both need a proper meal tonight."
Obi-Wan huffed, "Lifting a rock is not difficult."
"Obi-Wan," Mace said. "Even Yoda would have trouble lifting it, or at least a sustained hold."
Yoda's ears twitched at that.
Obi-Wan scoffed, "Then perhaps his age is starting to catch up to him."
They a gaped at him slack jawed but Yoda threw his back his head and cackled.
Mace rallied, his temper rising, "Obi-Wan, I didn't think I would need to remind you to be respectful."
"Then don't remind me and save yourself the oxygen," Obi-Wan said, completely unrepentant.
This time Mace was angry, but Anakin was biting his cheek trying not to laugh along with Yoda.
The others had yet to pick up their jaws.
Good. Obi-Wan wanted them rattled, wanted them shaken.
He spent so many years realizing that if they had just listened to those in the Order who had noticed the approaching disaster of the Republic, they could have done so much. Instead, they had held onto the illusions more closely than anything else.
Seeing that his scowl —The one that could drop a thousand men— wasn't working Mace changed tack. "If it's such an easy task, Knight Kenobi, then let's see you do something impressive."
Obi-Wan gasped, "A Council member encouraging a Knight to show off before his own junior Padawan? For shame, Master Windu."
That got a true giggle out of Anakin. Yoda was bent over his gimmer stick as he laughed.
Depa and Quin looked at Obi-Wan as if he had grown a second head.
But Qui-Gon's deep rumbling laugh flowed down the bond and it was all Obi-Wan could do to not smile himself, his sabaac face forged in the pits of Senate war meetings.
"Kenobi," Mace growled.
Obi-Wan waved him off, "Alright, alright. Impressive, hum?"
He looked toward the boulder, noting the water.
He closed his eyes, opened his hands stepping into the second kata of Soresu.
Then he called the water to him, a technique he had learned to survive in isolation on Tatooine. Funny how it was a desert planet that taught him to love water.
Water was life and light and Obi-Wan let himself adore it, to hold it within the Force as he asked it to dance with him.
For a time, he forgot where he was, and found only harmony as he let the Force flow through him.
You are beloved.
That was Qui-Gon's voice again but Obi-Wan didn't focus on it.
He focused on the Light, on the water.
He was one with the Force, and the Force was with him.
0000000000
Anakin hadn't understood much about what Obi-Wan said about drowning and the Cosmic and the Living Force. But he understood that what he was seeing was an example of what it meant to be at peace with the Force.
Obi-Wan's face was relaxed and he looked years younger and suddenly—
And suddenly, Anakin could see him in the Force. He was starlight ribboned by rivers of light.
It wasn't happiness he felt exactly, but… But it felt like what his mother felt for him and him for her.
It felt like love.
But not love for a single person, a love for the Force, the Light, and that lived.
A feeling that loved the galaxy as it was, not as it could be.
Unconditional.
The pool that had surrounded the rocks moved like dragons around Obi-Wan as he performed his katas with open hands. He had never seen a Jedi dance before but it made sense Obi-Wan would be good at it.
Anakin blinked, catching movement in the water that Obi-Wan had now completely uplifted from the ground.
It must have been thousands upon thousands of pounds of water.
Again Anakin saw movement as the water rose and fell; fish, he realized.
There were fish swimming, undisturbed by the fact they were no longer obeying the laws of gravity.
Master Obi-Wan was the most epicest Jedi ever.
Mace felt gawbsmacked as he watched Obi-Wan achieve the impossible with a serenity that very few Master could sustain and at complete odds with the drowning man he had been watching over the last few months.
"Um, when did he learn to do that?" Depa asked, she was Obi-Wan's senior by a few years.
Mace didn't have a good answer for that. All he knew was that his form, Soresu, was damn near flawless and the idea of wrapping his mind around what he was seeing was quite beyond him.
"Can you do that, grandmaster?" Quin asked, his gaze never leaving Obi-Wan's face
"Thought to try, I have not," Yoda answered.
Mace, being one of Yoda's Padawans, translated that as meaning, no, he couldn't.
It would seem Obi-Wan had come by his arrogance honestly.
AN: Thoughts, koi, or feedback, pretty please?