As a child growing up in Philadelphia, Joanna Lake had been obsessed with UFOs. The idea that there were beings from beyond the boundaries of Earth who were out there, able to change the world inextricably if humanity could just find a way to communicate with them was captivating to her. She had, with the endless belief of a child, been certain they existed. The proof, she felt, was simply overwhelming.
As she grew up, Lake realized that UFOs did not exist, or at least, if they did, there wasn't going to be any proof of them anytime soon. She set aside her belief. Well, that's what she told herself anyway. She had to be serious-minded and studious if she was going to make anything of herself. She could be the first generation of her family to go to college, her mother constantly reminded her, and that would never happen if she wasted time on childish flights of fancy.
Lake went to college. She went to law school. She got extremely excellent grades and soon got a job in the district attorney's office. While there, she saw that the laws were extremely unbalanced in favor of the wealthy and privileged. So she ran for the State Senate to improve those laws. She lost her party's nomination, and that, she had thought, was the end of that. But then the winner of the election got caught in a sex scandal, the nature of which still made Lake want to vomit in the present day. Her party begged her to be their candidate. But she refused.
Instead, disgusted by the rumors that leading members of her party had known about their candidate's depravities all along, she ran as an independent. Her courage and disgust at both parties enabled her to win the seat by a much larger margin than she would have as a member of her former party. Her fiery orations against unjust policies championed by both parties brought her a great deal of publicity. She soon translated that publicity into another successful run, this time for the governorship.
It was not easy running Pennsylvania when one was determined to make enemies on both sides of the aisle. Lake hated the performative nature of politicians, how they pretended to care about morality while taking bribes – sorry, campaign donations – from companies that were responsible for crimes much worse than the sins they railed against. She was unafraid to tell absolutely everyone she thought was in the wrong that this was so. She spoke her mind, and while this made her many enemies, it also gave her a lot of popularity among the average voters.
In 2012, under circumstances that still frankly bewildered Lake, the Electoral College was abolished. Lake had hoped that this would lead to a successful third party campaign for the presidency, but in both 2012 and 2016, she was to be disappointed. Finally, in 2020, disappointed greatly in the quality of both parties' candidates, Lake had ran for president as an independent herself.
A part of her never expected to win. She placed that part of her under the metaphorical heel of her trademark hiking boots and smashed it into oblivion. She fought as if she was going to win. She railed against corrupt business practices, con artists promising a return to an era that never was and certainly never would be again, and the determination of both parties to ignore the true problems that beset the American people. And when election day arrived, Lake was astonished to find that she had won with a plurality of 41% of the vote.
Lake was very disappointed to learn that, despite the ravings of conspiracy theorists, there was, in fact, no government coverups of UFOs. Roswell was a weather balloon. Area 51 was just where experimental stealth aircraft was developed. She supposed that the military could be keeping those things secret even from her, just like in Independence Day, but honestly, the idea was incredibly ridiculous, and she rightfully dismissed it. The world, as it turned out, was dull and mundane, just as her parents had insisted it was.
Or so she had thought.
The first nine months of her presidency had, in her opinion, been pretty successful. True, her approval rating was not saying the same thing, but Lake didn't give a crap about that. She had vowed to be a one term president, and she would keep all the promises she could possibly keep. People laughed at the idea of politicians with integrity, but Lake felt that she had maintained hers, even when the vagaries of reality made it difficult at best.
Lake had many challenges arrayed against her, to be sure. Her decision to withdraw all American troops from Afghanistan had, in her opinion, gotten her elected in the first place, but there had, inevitably, been casualties as the Taliban stepped into the power vacuum, including American troops. It was tragic, but they were in a war. People died in war. She took full responsibility for their deaths, as she was their commander in chief, but ultimately, she still believed more people would have died had she kept the troops in Afghanistan.
And it wasn't as if Congress was being any help at all. Lake proudly kept to her tradition of antagonizing both parties in the legislature. The American people had not elected her to play nice; they had elected her to make changes. Unfortunately, they also failed to understand that if both parties wanted to use their president as a punching bag instead of a partner towards a brighter future, change wasn't exactly coming.
Well. The change the American people wanted wasn't coming. But in September, they got change. They got it in spades.
It had been a really quiet day, and that should have been Lake's first clue that something was about go terribly, terribly wrong. But, of course, she had been foolish enough to actually think she'd have time to rest, drink some really nice wine, and read one of those Good Witch Azura books that she wouldn't admit to anyone she read even under torture. (It was her daughter's fault for having introduced the series to her, and she would happily throw her under the bus if need be.)
Instead, one of her advisors ran into the Oval Office and turned on a television without even bothering to greet his president, which was definitely a bad sign right there. Petrified of what she'd see on the screen – surely someone would have gotten her to a bunker if they were under nuclear attack, right? – she walked over to the television and looked into the perpetually smirking face of Arend Havik, mercenary warmonger and one of Lake's least favorite people.
It wasn't the fact that Havik had funded a ridiculous amount of money into both of Lake's competitors. It wasn't the fact that he thought he could just walk around the Capitol Building like he owned the place because of all the money he'd "donated" to candidates on both sides of the aisle. No, Lake hated the man because he was a racist, sexist, homophobic asshole who, if he had his druthers, would have the United States go to war with every country in the world, including itself.
Havik was having some sort of press conference. Lake couldn't help but notice that there were some very prominent members of Congress present, from both parties. What could the man be announcing? It was a bit early to start launching a presidential campaign. In any case, he had been born in South Africa…was he even eligible to become president? Well, if Havik wanted to go toe to toe with her in the next election, he was to be disappointed. After Lake's term was up, she was going to retire. She'd served the public for decades, and she was eagerly looking forward to relaxing. Maybe she'd take up glassblowing.
But instead of launching a presidential campaign, Havik introduced a bizarre looking woman with green hair and pointy ears who looked like she could have walked straight out of a Good Witch Azura novel herself. The woman, who introduced herself as Odalia Blight, proceeded to tell a cock and bull story about being a reformed demon who sought to enlist the United States' aid in invading hell and defeating Satan.
It made absolutely no sense whatsoever. Obviously it was all fake, but what was the point of it? Lake despised Havik, but until this point, she'd had absolutely no doubts about his sanity. Only a madman could believe in something like this. Yet he seemed to have absolutely no compunctions about staking his entire reputation on this Blight woman's delusions. Sure, a lot of people would probably like to invade hell, but it wasn't as if that was actually possible.
"I do appreciate watching Arend lose his mind on live TV," she informed her advisor as Odalia went on and on and never even came close to sounding remotely sane, "but I'm really not seeing why you look so panicked." The advisor was looking like he was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown…which didn't make any sense. This was a good thing for the Lake administration. One of her top critics had lost his marbles publicly. It just made her position stronger.
"Madam President, we're getting reports that Blight used some sort of…mental projection ability to back up her claim, directly putting images of this Demon Realm into people's heads."
Lake crossed her arms. "Exactly whose idea was it to prank me like this? You can tell me. I won't get angry. Honestly, this was quite ingenious."
The advisor started trembling. "It's…it's not a prank, ma'am. We've got twelve members of Congress backing it up – roughly an equal number from both parties."
Lake didn't know what to make of any of this, but she still would not believe the sky was blue if anyone even remotely associated with Havik was saying it. And certainly not Odalia Blight. The woman reminded her of a sleazy politician, and Lake spent time every day with those types, so she knew what she looked like. She was willing to accept that Blight had developed some sort of telepathic ability, but that did not make her story true.
"Wasn't Havik's father involved in some sort of psychic research program?" Lake asked her advisor. He shrugged. She was pretty certain that this was the case from her memory of the CIA's file on Havik. Perhaps it was a slight abuse of power to have them research him, but honestly, there were a lot worse things she could be doing, so she wasn't especially bothered.
So, for the sake of argument, Lake thought, let's say that Gaius Soleb (and what a ridiculous name that was) had been successful in inducing telepathic powers in people. A ridiculous notion on the surface, but for the moment, Lake was willing to suspend disbelief. Havik had thus tracked down one of his father's old test subjects and the two of them had concocted this scheme to…what? What was their endgame?
Because it didn't make any sense. Hell, in Lake's opinion, was empty and all the devils were on Earth (or at least in Congress). It didn't exist, and it certainly couldn't be invaded. How would they even go about doing that? They'd need some sort of…interdimensional portal. What did Havik want? Perhaps her old theory was correct, that Havik had just fallen for the lies of this madwoman, except with the new addition that she was also a psychic madwoman.
God, at least squaring off against the Russians didn't make Lake doubt her own sanity.
"Well, you're an advisor," Lake said. "Advise me! What should we do about this?"
"We don't have nearly enough information to act on this," the advisor responded. "We can…" The advisor's phone buzzed repeatedly. "Hang on a second. This must be important." He looked at his phone for a few moments. He appeared to be watching some sort of video. His eyes widened and he blinked repeatedly. He looked gobsmacked by what he was seeing. "You're going to want to see this, Madam President. If this is true…"
"Show me," Lake ordered him.
The video had been taken by someone with a cell phone. It was being taken in Times Square, Lake immediately realized. There were two teenage girls in the frame. Lake furrowed her brows. Why was she even watching this? Then she realized why as one of the girls put her long brown hair into a ponytail, revealing her pointy ears. This girl, Lake realized, was the daughter of Odalia Blight. They had similar facial features.
The other girl – a shorthaired Latina girl of the same age, but with completely human features – cleared her throat. "Okay, so when are we going to start?" she asked.
"We're live now, Luz!" the cameraman, a gruff voice belonging to a middle aged or elderly man, responded.
Luz let out an eep sound. Blight's daughter – Luz's girlfriend? – squeezed her hand. Luz took a deep breath. "Hi! So by now, you've probably heard about the big press conference at the Empire State Building. Oh so dramatic. Surprise! Demons are real, and hell is real, and Uncle Havik needs you to fight against the demonic hellbeasts! Except…it's not that simple."
She gave a confident smile for the camera. "My name is Luz Noceda." The advisor was texting away on his phone – Lake would probably have a full dossier on Luz in less than a half hour. "And a little more than a year ago, I found an interdimensional portal to the Boiling Isles. The Isles aren't hell. I mean, it can get pretty hellish there. But they're not literally hell. There's no Satan. No damned souls. Just…people."
She dropped to her knees and started drawing a large, ornate symbol on a sheet of paper that she'd placed on the ground. She touched her hand to the sheet of paper and a ball of glowing light just emerged from it and rose into the air. "I learned how to do magic there. I found my destiny. I found family there. My Mami's awesome – hi, Mami, sorry about all this! But my family there is awesome too. There's my adoptive brother King – he's the king of the Boiling Isles, and technically I'm sort of the princess."
Hmm. Interesting. Luz certainly didn't carry herself like royalty. Something to note for later, the part of Lake's brain that wasn't currently screaming in equal amounts of joy and terror told her. "There's my other mom – also adoptive – Eda Clawthorne. She's the prime minister there and she's in charge. But don't tell King that!" She winked. So the Isles was a constitutional monarchy. That was useful information. "And, of course, my awesome girlfriend Amity Blight."
Aha! Lake had been right. Amity was Odalia's daughter. Amity took a deep breath. "Hi. I'm not a human. I'm a witch." She moved her finger in a circle, generating a glowing circle of light. A vaguely humanoid figure comprised of some sort of goo appeared in front of her. She moved her finger again, and it was gone. "Witches are one of the sentient species in the Isles. There are a lot more of them, most lumped into the category of demon. Despite what you may have heard, despite what my mother told you," she spat the word mother as if it was a vile swear word; no love lost there, clearly, "they aren't all evil. Just like humans, there are good and bad people in equal amount in the Demon Realm."
Luz's perky expression went solemn. "Amity's mother Odalia Blight was arrested for attempting to overthrow the legitimate government of the Isles. Recently, Havik broke her out of prison, costing the life of several innocent prison guards. And she killed Amity's father too."
She took a deep breath. "Odalia is lying to you. She and Havik just want war with the Demon Realm, to sacrifice innocents in the name of making money. We don't want that. The Boiling Kingdom wants peace. Havik is a monster. He had my father murdered and committed a massacre during the Sierra Leone Civil War. You'll be reading more about that soon."
Amity planted a kiss on Luz's cheek. "You're doing so good, cariño," she said softly. "I know this isn't easy on you." She looked at the camera. "We didn't want to do this, to reveal our magic to the world. But we had to. Because I won't let my mother pit our two realms against each other, just like she did with me and my siblings. But I warn you: If you push us, we will push back. I hope it doesn't have to be that way."
The video ended there. Lake took a sheet of paper from the Resolute Desk, drew the sigil she had seen Luz use, and tapped it. Nothing happened. She sighed. It was too much to hope for, she supposed. Perhaps Luz had been born with her magic?
Everything in the video was real, Lake knew. Oh, Lake could easily come up with explanations for it. And the whole thing could be covered up. Not easily, but it was possible. But that wouldn't be the right choice. Magic was real. Other dimensions were real. Magical creatures were real. And Joanna Lake was determined to become known as the president who built a bridge between the magical and mundane worlds.
It wasn't UFOs. But it was close enough.
Amity had thought she'd spend every day since her mother's escape from prison consumed by fear. It was a reasonable enough thought. Odalia was a terrifyingly talented oracle witch, particularly gifted in the art of mental manipulation. She hadn't used any of her powers on Amity (at least, Amity believed she hadn't), but if she did, all bets were off. Odalia could force Amity to destroy everything that mattered to her and like it. She'd seen her mother do that to her enemies before, always with the implication that she could do the same to Amity if need be. She'd certainly used her power effectively against Amity's father, mind controlling him into committing suicide.
But Amity was surprised to learn that she actually wasn't afraid. Well, not to an excessive amount, anyway. Not to a point where it was consuming her life. Amity was done allowing Odalia to influence her choices. True, Odalia could force her to do things, but that was the only way she'd be able to do it. She was not the weak witch who had abandoned Willow. She was strong now.
It wasn't fear that she felt towards Odalia now. It was anger. Anger that she murdered Alador. Anger that she was planning to bring war between the Demon and Human Realms solely out of spite. Anger that she wasn't the mother she should have been. She would do whatever it took to stop Odalia's alliance with Havik in its tracks, even go along with Luz's rather…impulsive plan to expose magic to the world, with no regrets whatsoever.
In any case, she had a lot more to think about than just Odalia right now. Her trip to New York had been quite eventful. Together with Luz and Eda's ex-husband Stan Pines, Amity had helped Luz track down evidence that had proved Havik had assassinated Eduardo. They had also come face to face with Eduardo's actual killer, a hitman known only as Swaard. Despite being sorely tempted to kill him, Luz had spared his life, a decision that Amity profoundly hoped would not come back to haunt them. Then they'd taken their evidence to the New York Times, and tried to stop Havik's press conference, but they got there too late.
So Luz had filmed a video of the two of them using magic in broad daylight in one of the busiest intersections in all of New York and posted it on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and Reddit. (Amity didn't have the slightest clue what any of these things were, but apparently, they had a wide audience, whatever they were.) Then she'd sent it to every last news outlet she could possibly think of, even ones that she despised.
Luz had seemed quite confident about her actions right up until the point when she went back into the lobby of their hotel and let out a shriek. "What have I done, Amity?!" she shouted. "Oh my God, I just revealed magic to the world! I just exposed the Demon Realm's existence!"
"No, you didn't," Amity reminded her. "Mother and Havik did that. You told the truth about the Demon Realm."
"The witch kid's right," Grunkle Stan (as he insisted they both call him) said. "Havik was trying to set up some sort of crusade. You put the brakes on it."
Luz sat down on the couch. Amity sat next to her on one side and Grunkle Stan on the other. Luz looked like she was about to burst into tears. "I didn't have the right. I'm not…God, everyone's going to be so angry with me! Oh, man, this is a disaster."
"You not only had the right, you had an obligation to set the story straight," Amity argued. "You are the princess of the Boiling Isles. You are the highest ranking and only member of the Boiling Kingdom's government in the whole universe. As such, you represent not only the crown, but the kingdom itself. You made a choice, and, Luz, honestly, I think you made the right one. Remember why Zoe did all those things to you?"
Queen Zoe of the Seelie Fae had put Amity into an enchanted sleep a few weeks prior, and manipulated Luz into taking a deal weighted against her to wake Amity up. Luz was sent to an alternate dimension where she was Eda's biological daughter, Eduardo was alive, and Amity had been raised by Camila in the human realm, and tasked with getting Amity's counterpart to fall in love with her. Luz had failed in that task. Zoe had eventually revealed to Luz that she had targeted her because Luz was meant to do something that would cause her to lose her power. Without Luz, Zoe had said, all of her subjects would instead die in fire instead of voting her out.
In the end, Zoe's manipulations and sadism caused her downfall, and she was killed, reversing her enchantments. Luz was returned to the moment she left, despite months having passed in the alternate universe, and Amity was woken up.
"I think what you just did is why," Amity went on. "What you did was insanely reckless. It was a plan that no one who bothered to think things through could have come up with. And that's why only you could do it. Not to mention the fact that your knowledge of your dad's past was necessary to figure out where he hid that evidence."
Luz looked like she felt a lot better about that. "You really think so?"
"I wouldn't lie to you, Luz," Amity said earnestly. Luz's face twitched. She'd had to do a lot of lying while impersonating her parallel universe counterpart, including to Amity's counterpart, and it was still eating at her. "Of course, right now there's no way to be sure I'm right. But I bet I am."
"I think so too, Luz," Grunkle Stan admitted. "You two are kids. It's hard to take a look at those adorable faces of yours and think you're evil incarnate. Sure, a bunch of people – more than there should be, no question – are going to just charge right past that and join the war cries. But I think a lot of reasonable people are going to think twice about blindly believing Odalia and Havik's lies."
"STANLEY PINES!" the very familiar and very angry voice of Camila Noceda called out as she charged through the door to the hotel.
Grunkle Stan let out a loud gulp. "Well, that's my cue to leave. Nice hanging with you kids!" He stood up and tried to walk to the door, but Amity tripped him and he fell to the ground. She deserved to be in trouble, no question, but Grunkle Stan, in her opinion, should be in the most trouble. He was, after all, an adult and had been charged with Luz and Amity's safety. If anyone was responsible for what had happened, it was him, both the good and bad parts.
Camila charged over to him, her face nearly incandescent with fury. "How dare you kidnap my daughter?!" she screamed at him.
"What? No, you've got it all wrong!" Grunkle Stan protested. "They wanted to come here! Heck, the only reason why I brought them here is cause I was worried they'd try to hitchhike here or something."
"They are minors," Camila retorted. "Eda entrusted them into your care, and what happens to them is thus your responsibility. And let's not get into the fact that you stole Ford's credit card and his frequent flier miles to get them here!"
Luz looked over at Camila. She looked…really angry now that Amity thought of it. "That's enough! Grunkle Stan was just following my lead. It was a good thing we came here!"
"Really, Luz?" Camila said, sounding disappointed. "Just what good things came out of this trip, then, pray tell?"
"I solved Papi's murder!" Luz shouted. Camila took a step backwards, looking completely gobsmacked. Out of all the things she had been expecting, that had not been one of them. "I found the evidence he left behind, evidence that linked Havik to a massacre in the Sierra Leone Civil War. I took it to the New York Times. They believed me. It's going to be in tomorrow's paper. And…I came face to face with his murderer. It was one of Havik's flunkies. He called himself Swaard."
Camila sat down where Grunkle Stan had been sitting earlier. She looked much more sympathetic than she had before. In fact, as soon as Luz mentioned having confronted Swaard, a look of panic and fear came on her face. "Mija, are you all right? Are you injured?"
"I'm not injured," Luz assured her. "But I don't know if I'm all right. I could have killed him, but I didn't. I could have avenged Papi…but I didn't."
Camila shook her head firmly. "You did the right thing, Luz. Your father would not have wanted you to become a killer for him. He would sooner die again than have that happen." She cast her eyes on Grunkle Stan and Amity. "What about the two of you? Are you injured?"
"My leg hurts," Grunkle Stan complained. "Why did you have to trip me?"
Camila ignored him and looked back at Luz. She squeezed her hand. "Luz, I am very proud of you for choosing to spare Swaard's life. I am not so proud of you for running away like this, but I do understand why you did it." She took a deep breath. "But your decision to expose magic…Luz, do you have any idea what the consequences will be from that?" Luz shook her head. "Neither do I. And it scares the hell out of me."
"All right, then let's get back to Gravity Falls," Amity suggested. "Whatever the consequences are, the isolation and…unique nature of the town should shield us from them, at least partially."
Camila cleared her throat. She looked nervous. "Unfortunately, Amity…we are no longer welcome in Gravity Falls. Even though you exposed magic to the world, the people of Gravity Falls are not ready to reveal their own supernatural secrets. They're afraid that if we return there, we'll bring government attention to the town." They were probably right, Amity had to concede. "So I guess we're going to have to return to my hometown. Well, you are, anyway, Luz. I talked to your sister, Amity, and we both decided you'd be safer in the Demon Realm for the moment."
Amity wanted to protest, but she was limited by the fact that she didn't want to antagonize Camila further, and also by the fact that she was probably right now that she thought of it. It was still unclear how human governments would react to the revelation of magic and the Demon Realm's existence, and until they had more information, it was safer for her in the Boiling Isles.
"I was kind of looking forward to going to school with you," Luz admitted.
"You just had a whole summer with me – twice over!" Amity teased.
"Yeah, but I meant a human school," Luz said. "My friends are awesome…but I was kind of looking forward to having you there to back me up. Hey, maybe Amity could stay in the Human Realm for, like, a foreign exchange thing?"
Camila looked contemplative. "You know, Luz, that's not all that bad of an idea. But I don't think it will happen for a while. In the meantime, I'm sure Eda's going to be very busy stabilizing relations with human governments. She's not mad at you, sweetie, but she does wish you had consulted with her before you made this decision."
Luz sighed. "Yeah. Not mad. Just disappointed. Story of my life."
"It's going to be okay, mija," Camila promised. "We are in for a lot of changes coming up. Some may be very good, and some may be incredibly bad. But the one thing that will never change is that I love you, no matter what." She looked over at Amity. "And that goes for you too, Amity. You may not be my daughter – well, not this version of me, anyway – but as I have told you, I still love you, regardless of blood."
Amity couldn't help but feel a huge surge of joy at hearing that. She'd heard it before from Camila, but it never got old. And hopefully, it never would. "I…told Luz about our discussion back in May."
"Ah," Camila said. She appeared at a loss for words about what to say regarding the conversation where Amity had humiliated herself by trying to get Camila's blessing to become betrothed to Luz. Eventually, Camila had convinced her to wait until she came of age, and, more importantly, convinced her that she'd find unconditional love from Camila. "Okay, then. Luz, you do understand why I can't let you marry Amity now?"
"Oh, yeah, of course!" Luz said, sounding shocked that Camila had any doubt she wouldn't completely understand. "No question. I'm honestly just flattered she even thought about it!"
Grunkle Stan finally managed to extricate himself from the floor and leaned against another couch, breathing heavily. Amity felt a surge of guilt at the thought that she may have hurt him. Then again, this was Grunkle Stan. It was equally plausible, if not more so, that he was exaggerating his pain or even outright faking it for sympathy points. "Sorry," he muttered. Amity knew that apologizing was not something Grunkle Stan did very often. "Sorry about…you know, taking your kid to New York, and all that."
"Did you do your best to protect them?" Camila asked. Stan nodded, and Luz gave her a thumbs up of confirmation. "Then I forgive you. But it will be a long time before I trust you with them again. Remember that. My trust, once lost, is very hard to get back."
Luz stood up and hugged Camila. "Did I lose your trust, Mami?"
"No, cariño," Camila said with a gentle laugh. "You still have it. But, please, Luz, the next time you get an idea like this, please run it by a responsible adult like…Raine or Lilith."
"Not Eda?" Luz asked in a teasing tone.
"Definitely not Eda," Camila said in a solemn tone, and they all laughed.
Camila probably should have been shocked to learn that her daughter had gone across the country without her permission, exposed the existence of magic (and Luz's own ability to wield it), and solved Eduardo's murder on top of all that. But she wasn't. Really, not too much surprised her these days. Camila, after all, could wield magic herself, had not one but two witch partners, and had seen her girlfriend fight a giant fear monster. She certainly wasn't surprised to learn that her impulsive daughter, who had ran away to another dimension on the vague promise of learning magic, would go to extreme lengths to stop the man who had murdered her father.
Another parent likely would have been angry, but Camila was honestly proud that Luz had managed to follow the clues Eduardo left behind, and, more importantly, had chosen to spare the life of Eduardo's murderer. Killing Swaard may have felt good in the moment (and certainly Camila herself wouldn't shed any tears if the future led to her having to kill him in self-defense), but in time, the guilt of killing him would have consumed Luz.
Camila had driven down to Gravity Falls, hoping to surprise Luz with her arrival. Instead, she had gotten the surprise when she found everyone there missing and a note left behind in Ford's handwriting saying that he'd taken the kids across the country. She'd promptly called Stan's twin brother and ascertained that Stan had forged the note and stolen his credit card and frequent flier miles to pay for their trip. Ford instructed her how to reroute the portal, and she had used it to teleport to New York.
Finding Luz, Amity, and Stan once she got there, however, proved to be easier said than done. Ford gave her the address of several flophouses that he knew Stan had hid out in during his past times in the city. The thought of Stan taking her daughter and daughter-in-law-to-be to one of those places simply made her blood boil. But her interrogation techniques, which mostly involved shouting a lot until she got answers she was convinced were true, yielded no fruit.
She couldn't go to the police, since Amity was in the country with forged identification, so she decided to just give up and return to Gravity Falls. But as she was getting lunch – because why not get some good food while in the big city? – and checking her social media, she found the video that everyone was talking about. The video of Luz exposing magic. After consulting with Eda and Emira by her phone, which was linked to their scrolls, she went to Times Square – by chance, she was nearby at the time – and gave Stan a piece of her mind.
Luz and Camila returned alone to her hometown. It broke Camila's heart to have to say goodbye to Amity, the girl she'd grown to love like another daughter, but at the end of the day, Emira was her guardian, and so long as she was making decisions that were in Amity's best interests – which she was – it was not for Camila to contradict Emira's decisions. Besides, it wasn't as if they were saying goodbye forever. They'd see each other again.
When Luz and Camila approached their house, Camila was alarmed to find the lights on and the door unlocked. No one else should be in there; she hadn't asked any of her neighbors to watch her house. She pulled out the gun she kept in her purse on a regular basis now and slowly opened the door.
The sound of a gunshot echoed through the air, and Camila almost pulled the trigger, but her finger was thankfully not on it, because it turned out that the sound had just emanated from her television set. She cast her eyes on the intruder: her partner Raine Whispers. Breathing a sigh of relief, Camila put the gun away.
"Raine, you scared the living daylights out of me, encanto!" Camila said with a shaky laugh. She'd come up with the pet name for them recently, and they'd absolutely loved it. "What are you doing here?"
"I just came here to give you my support," Raine said. Camila's heart soared. Her partner was so thoughtful! "Eda's very busy right now, but she sends her love."
"Busy cleaning up my mess, you mean," Luz said.
Raine turned to face her. "Luz, I want you to understand something right now. You did not start this. Odalia did. If you had just chosen to reveal magic to the Human Realm without any reason, just for the hell of it, then, yes, I'd be very upset with you. But you were faced with a no-win situation, and you made a choice. Time will tell if it was the best choice. But I'm not mad at you, and neither is Eda."
"Do you really think we can get out of this without a war?" Camila asked.
"In all honesty, yes, I do," Raine said. Camila wasn't so certain, but Raine sounded so confident that it was hard to disbelieve them. "Eda seems pretty confident she can talk her way out of things." Eda could talk her way out of just about anything in Camila's experience. Well, except for when she deliberately risked Luz's life by making her steal a toy crown for King. She hadn't talked her way out of that one when Camila found out. "It's going to be fine."
"We were thinking that maybe you could have some sort of cultural exchange," Luz blurted out. "You know, so humans can see how awesome the Demon Realm is. And vice versa. Especially vice versa."
"Itching to see Amity again, I see," Raine said with a gentle smile. Luz didn't even bother denying it. "I'll see what I can do. How about I take you out to eat, Camila? Luz, surely you can hold down the fort while we're gone, right?" Luz immediately nodded. Camila trusted her to be alone for a while. If government agents came to storm the house, Luz could use her magic to turn herself invisible and escape.
Camila and Raine walked towards the door, but before they could leave, the doorbell rang. Camila peered out the keyhole and was not at all surprised by who was on the other side of the door. Well, maybe not at all was an exaggeration. She was a little surprised. "I suppose I might as well deal with this now," she muttered, and threw open the door.
On the other side of the door was Agent Carl Johnston of the FBI. Carl's daughter Caroline, who was next to him, was a friend of Luz's from high school, among the first friends Luz had ever made (well, human ones, anyway), and as such, Camila and Carl were on first name terms at the very least. She would classify him as somewhere between an acquaintance and a friend. Caroline seemed very well adjusted, at any rate, which spoke well for him.
"Hello, Camila," Carl said. "I think you know what this is about."
"I'm not going anywhere with you, and if I'm under arrest, I demand a lawyer," Camila said at once. "I know my rights."
"You're not under arrest," Carl assured her. "And, yes, my bosses sent me to talk to you. If I don't talk to you, the next people they send may not be as nice as I am."
Raine crossed their arms. "I don't think I appreciate you threatening my girlfriend."
"It wasn't a threat," Carl claimed. "It was a warning. I'm Carl Johnston, FBI. That's a law enforcement agency. This is my daughter Caroline, Luz's friend." Caroline gave a nervous wave. She seemed too intimidated by the battle of wills between Raine, Carl, and Camila to say anything. "Look, I like you, Camila. But there are a lot of people in the government right now who are very scared and want answers. If I give them the answers they're looking for, just something, we can deescalate things. Believe me, I don't want to fight."
Camila studied Carl carefully, and then decided that he was on the up and up. And he was right. She'd rather have him asking these questions than some torture happy CIA agent or Man in Black or something. "Luz, how about you and Caroline go and do something away from here?" If she was wrong, she didn't want Luz anywhere in the vicinity. Caroline looked at her father, who nodded at her.
"Come on, Luz, let me see if I can track down Sean and Avery." Sean and Avery were Luz's other friends. Luz had told them all about the Demon Realm already and they had believed her. (Having Amity around to give a magic demonstration had helped.) "They're dying to hear about your adventures! And we also kind of want to know why you just dumped magic on everyone's laps."
Luz and Caroline left the house. Luz appeared completely oblivious to the potential danger that Carl may or may not have posed. Which made sense. She'd seen him as Caroline's father up until this point. But Camila knew that these were about to become astonishingly confusing times, and even men who were heretofore considered good could fall quite far during them.
"Let me offer you some tea," Camila suggested.
"That sounds wonderful, Camila," Carl said.
"Oh, no, the tea is for Raine," Camila said, letting a hint of sass get into her voice. She may have acquiesced to Carl's half-threats, but she would not be a pushover. "That's Raine Whispers over there. My partner. I promised you answers, Carl. I did not promise you tea."
Camila went into the kitchen and started brewing the tea. Carl just stood there, studying Raine with an expression of awe that he was trying his best (to his credit, fairly successfully) to hide. "You're really not from here, are you?" he whispered. "To be honest, I kind of thought – hoped – it was all a hoax. But it's not."
"It's not," Raine confirmed.
Camila turned to face Carl and looked him straight in the eyes. "The first thing I want to make clear is that my daughter does not have the ability to affect the Boiling Kingdom government's policy in any way. Her status as princess is solely an honorary position. She has no power, de facto or de jure. Furthermore, the Boiling Kingdom is an elective monarchy, and thus Luz will never become queen. More to the point, it is a constitutional monarchy, and true power rests in the hands of my girlfriend, Prime Minister Eda Clawthorne."
Carl was taking notes on all this on a notepad, but he paused when Camila said that last thing. "I'm sorry, I thought you were in a relationship with Mr. Whispers here."
"It's Mx. Whispers, actually," Raine explained. "I'm nonbinary. They/them pronouns. It's okay. You had no way of knowing. And Camila, Eda, and I are in a polyamorous relationship. Each one of us is dating the other two."
Carl looked bewildered. "Okay? Is that…common there?"
"It works for us," Camila said in a tone of voice that indicated that discussion on the topic was over. To his credit, Carl appeared to accept that immediately. "I have no more input into Eda's decisions than the First Gentleman does towards President Lake's. If you want to use us as leverage against Eda, that would be extremely inadvisable."
"I assure you, no one has any intention of violating the sovereignty of the Demon Realm."
"Yes, a lot of people have heard that song and dance from the United States before," Camila retorted.
Carl shrugged. "I can only pass on what my superiors have told me, Camila. Like you, I have no input on American foreign policy." Camila nodded. It was a fair enough point. "This magic that Luz can do, how exactly is she able to wield it?"
"I'm afraid that for now that's proprietary information," Raine said, clearly sensing that Camila was going to tell Carl. "We'll see if the prime minister is willing to release that information. I'm sure you understand."
By the looks of it, Carl didn't, but he didn't say anything to that effect either. "We're just concerned about the security ramifications about humans suddenly being able to do magic." Ah. Yes. That did make sense. The idea of lots of people being able to wield glyph magic, including the unscrupulous, was probably a very scary one. It certainly was freaking out Camila the more she thought of it. But if Raine thought it was a bad idea to clarify matters, she would follow their lead.
Carl took an envelope out of his jacket. It was addressed to Eda. "If you could please get this letter to the prime minister, I'd appreciate it. I've been instructed to tell you that the United States bears nothing but goodwill towards its newfound dimensional neighbors in the Demon Realm and that we eagerly hope to establish bilateral relations as soon as possible."
"Do you believe that?" Raine asked Carl. Carl just stared at them, completely expressionless. They took the letter. "Got it. I'll pass along the letter, and we'll hopefully be able to establish a more direct link between President Lake and Prime Minister Clawthorne in time."
The tea came to a boil and Camila poured it into three cups. Carl raised his eyebrows. "You've deemed me worthy, then?"
"If you answer me this one question," Camila responded. "You're a very religious man, Carl, from what I've heard about you. Why haven't you hopped on Odalia's bandwagon?"
Carl looked shocked to be asked that question. "I'm a God-fearing man, yes, but I'm not a sucker. I'm an FBI agent, Camila. I know a con artist when I see one." Camila liked that answer. More than that, she believed it. So she handed him the tea.
"OW!" Carl shouted, as he nearly burned his finger on the cup. Of course, she never said the tea was anywhere close to cool. That would teach him to "warn" her like that.
Camila may not have been a petty woman, but she was feeling pretty good right now. And the approving look on Raine's face at seeing the result of her little prank warmed her heart more than any tea ever could.