From the hallway outside the infirmary, he heard Teal'c ask her what she was working on. Before she answered, he knew. It had become a habit of hers. He nestled himself into a nook just outside the door and peeked around its edge. She indeed had her book and was explaining its purpose to Teal'c as intently as she explained theoretical astrophysics in briefings. And Teal'c, bless him, was nodding studiously.
He chuckled, but it came out more audibly than he had meant, so he dashed back behind the entry, belatedly slapping a hand over his mouth that was arguably louder than the chuckle. After a moment, he looked back into the room and relaxed when he saw her scribbling furiously with a pencil. He tried to remember the last time he'd seen her working on one, and it all came back to him in a rush. It was right after the whole Jolinar fiasco.
He wandered mindlessly into her lab, half-expecting to see her sitting there, even though he'd just confirmed she was asleep in the infirmary. He had pretty much avoided talking to her, but in his defense, she had made it clear she didn't feel much like talking. He felt her lingering presence here. It was happier than the grumpy mood he was in. The soft lights of her lamps were warmer than the harsh hallway.
He sighed and allowed his at-attention shoulders to relax for the first time in days, revealing his intense relief that she had not been taken over by a Goa'uld. That she hadn't died on the table. He imagined her coming back to work, smartly bouncing into the room ready to explain her next theory or discovery. But almost immediately his smile disappeared as he wondered if the same Samantha Carter would be there. The Samantha Carter that had, despite his best defenses, penetrated his heart with her science babble, the most unlikely of ammunition.
He was about to retreat before anyone noticed him there when he had an idea. She was feeling a little lost, so maybe he could bring her something from the lab to help her feel more like herself. Janet would stab him guiltlessly with the biggest needle she could find if he aided and abetted the Captain in getting any actual work done, so he decided if he could find a title simple enough that he could understand, he might be safe from sedation.
He rummaged around her shelves for a minute, thinking that Carter would probably also stab him with the nearest doohickey if he left anything out of place. He noticed what looked like a magazine on a low shelf just outside the rays of the lamp. Before he could read the title, the colors brought him back to the time they had practically shared his infirmary bed to complete a puzzle. He squatted down, immediately regretted torturing his knees, and the book came into focus. Perfect, he thought. He snatched it up, along with a pencil from her desk, and he was off.
She was still asleep when he got there, so he just left it on the table beside her bed. The next day when he peeked in on her, she was sitting up in bed, the book open on her slightly raised knees. He smiled and left her to it. He knew she just needed more time - more time to think, or to not think, before she could face her team. Seeing Cassie had been the first step. Something familiar but non-work related like her puzzles gave her a sense of normalcy. After Iraq, for him, it had been fishing.
Pretty soon, she had a laptop in bed, getting some work done while antsily awaiting Janet's release. If Jack were honest, he would admit he had needed time, too. Watching her essentially die and be brought back to life had affected him more deeply than he would have anticipated. He had seen both men and women die on the battlefield, but Carter was…well, she was Carter.
And now Teal'c was in the infirmary, almost taken down by a stupid bug, for crying out loud. There was something about his team that had made him feel like together, they were invincible. Maybe individually they could fail, but not as a team. And that's how Jolinar had gotten them, Tok'ra or not – he, she, it, whatever, had tried to divide and conquer his team, had tried to use each of their strengths and weaknesses against one another. Jack had adjusted his mental strategy to include Tok'ra in his threat analysis, to prevent such things from happening again. But how could you prepare for a bug? Did they make alien bug spray? He would have to get Carter on that immediately.
An image flashed in his mind, of Carter in Teal'c's place, without the aid of a symbiote. Part of him wished she had the benefit of a Tok'ra without all the unpleasant side effects. He shook the thought from his head, tried to convince himself his concern was purely for that of a fellow comrade. After all, he also had frequent occasion to worry about Daniel, and not because of his allergies and otherwise delicate sensibilities. He had more than proven himself on the first mission to Abydos, and his irritating habits of diplomacy had no doubt saved their butts on multiple occasions. But it was those same instincts he worried might get him killed.
Still, a niggling part of his brain tried to point out to him that his concern for Carter was of a considerably different nature. It wasn't just because she was a woman, well, at least not in a sexist way. She was good in the field. But stuff happened to good people all the time, and he was realizing more each day there was nothing he could do to stop it, especially now that an entire universe was involved. The thought sobered him. He coughed a little to overcome the strangled feeling that had come over him. He heard shuffling and a chair scrape and realized he had been a little too loud. He retreated again behind the doorframe.
"I'll be right back, Teal'c," he heard her whisper.
"Very well, Captain Carter," Teal'c rumbled in return. Then, the smooth clip of bootsteps. He relaxed his posture to lean more casually against the wall, as though it were perfectly normal for him to be there. He felt her presence come around the corner, but didn't look up.
"Colonel?" Then he did look up and was lost in the galaxy of her eyes, through which she continued to stare at him. Act natural, Jack, for crying out loud.
"Uh, yeah, hi." Yes, very natural.
"Good evening, sir. How are you?" She asked genuinely, despite the smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.
"Better now that Teal'c is okay."
"Yes, sir." They exchanged grim smiles.
"You wanna come say hi?"
"Um, no that's ok, you guys are hanging out. I'm supposed to bring his candles later so he can do his thing. Don't tell Doc, though. She knows he can meditate without them, but he kinda misses it, ya know?"
"Yes, sir."
They all knew it was better to seek forgiveness than permission with Fraiser, who wouldn't prematurely cut off a candlelit meditation, unauthorized puppy visit, or ill-advised 2am jam session if it was helping an injured team member heal. She would just vehemently scold them when it was over and tell them never to do it again. A secretly sweet, but scary little gnome.
"Better disable the smoke sensors." She motioned to the infirmary.
"Right!" he said, snapping his fingers, then thought about it, Wait, you know how to do that, right?"
"Yes, sir," came out as a whispered giggle and suddenly it was the only way he ever wanted to hear it said.
"I'll take care of it when my shift ends," she assured him when he didn't reply. He also didn't move from his spot. She cleared her throat, and he realized he was still staring at her. He broke off visual contact, then gestured in a dramatized military signal toward the hallway, to indicate he was leaving for now and would be back later. She nodded. He smiled at the floor as he turned and left.
"Wait!" Her shout-whisper startled him. He did an about face, saw her sheepish response to her outburst.
"Sir," she added belatedly. He dismissed it with a wave, ushering her to the point. She looked down to read.
"We have to tell the truth about what happened over there. The whole, hard cold truth."
It took him a second longer than it should have to realize she was reading a clue. He stared at her for an additional second, suddenly realizing who she reminded him of. He shook the images from his mind, focused on the live captain in front of him. Misunderstanding his silence, she continued.
"There's sixteen let…"
"Courage Under Fire." He supplied.
"Oh! I know that one!" she beamed with triumph and started writing.
"Me too." He said absently and turned, hoping to get away before her pencil stopped scratching. But his conscience, which was starting to sound an awful lot like Daniel, stopped him and he turned just in time to see her look up. She scrunched up her eyes at his awkward departure, so he waved and attempted a smile. Her broad grin returned, and he wondered if she even had a poker face. He mock saluted as he rounded the corner, then pretty much instantly decided there was really no harm in getting the candles a little early. Anything for Teal'c, right?
Later he was so glad he did, because he arrived just in time to hear Teal'c ask, while staring intently at her book, "Captain Carter, where is this forest of gump?"