It was probably a very bad sign, Camila reflected, that she was almost used to Luz screaming in the middle of the night now. The sad thing was that Luz's nightmares had almost gone away entirely. And then she'd seen her girlfriend get shot, her best friend get stabbed, and everyone her own age she cared about almost burned at the stake. That'd mess up anyone, let alone someone with a guilt complex as massive as Luz's.
In retrospect, it had definitely been a mistake, even in jest, to promise to hold it over Luz's head if the party went wrong. But Camila, even in her worst nightmares, could never have envisioned just how wrong it would go. She was afraid Luz would get laughed at and humiliated by the popular kids. Not that they were all in on a plan to viciously murder Luz and all of her friends! It had been very difficult to persuade Luz that she was not at least even partially to blame for what happened there, but Camila was pretty sure she had been at least successful on a conscious level, even if her subconscious was taking time to catch up.
Sighing, she left her bedroom and went into Luz's room, only to find a very unexpected individual inside: None other than King, her…stepson? Adopted son? Camila was a little fuzzy on exactly what King meant to her. Legally speaking, she was indeed his mother, at least according to the Boiling Kingdom's government. Practically speaking, she didn't really interact with him much, and she wasn't sure he truly regarded her as a mother the way he did Eda.
King was standing in the corner of Luz's bedroom, facing the wall, looking like he was sulking. "King, mijo, what on Earth are you doing in here?" Camila demanded. "Was this why you screamed, Luz?"
Luz nodded. "Sorry, mami. He hid in my drawer with my stuffed animals, and when I went to get one, he scared the living daylights out of me." Camila would certainly be startled too. "He's in time out now."
"As well he should be," Camila said approvingly. "You don't just break into people's houses, King! If you want to visit your sister, you ask first, or ring the doorbell at the very least like a civilized individual."
Luz peered over at her. "So, wait, did you know he was coming?"
"I knew he was coming to the Human Realm," Camila clarified. "But he's supposed to be staying at the consulate, not here." She walked over to the bunk bed and shook Willow gently until she awoke, which took some time. "I'm sorry to have to wake you up in the middle of the night, Willow, but someone took it upon himself to break into our house." She glared at King, who looked like he was torn between sulking and looking guilty.
Willow rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. "Well…I'm up now, I guess, so what's up?"
"King is here for a state visit to the Human Realm," Camila announced. Luz's eyes lit up. "I was planning on surprising you with this news tomorrow. As I told Luz, he's supposed to be staying at the consulate where it's safe." Camila supposed she was going to have to give Raine a call before they started panicking.
"I'm so sorry, mami," King said, almost sounding like he was ready to burst into tears. "It's just…Luz could have died! I wasn't here to protect her! She's my sister…if something happened to her, I don't know what I'd do."
Camila's heart was bursting with pride. Certainly she didn't approve of King's actions, but it was wonderful to know he loved Luz so much. She bent down and gave him a hug. He was very cuddly. "Mijo, I understand. It's all right." She turned to face Willow and Luz. "I have some very amazing news. The royal family, the members of the cultural exchange, and their host families are all going to be visiting the White House to meet with President Lake!"
Luz let out a squeal of excitement. Camila was reasonably certain her excitement had more to do with the fact that Lake was rumored to be a closet Good Witch Azura fan than anything else. But, hey, she'd take what she could get. And it wasn't as if Camila wasn't excited about visiting the White House and meeting the president herself. She had only been able to imagine being important enough to merit those things in the past. She just hoped no one would let slip to Lake that she didn't vote for her. It wasn't that Camila didn't like Lake's policies; she had just believed no one outside of the two major parties could possibly win, and she was very delighted to be wrong.
In any event, it was good they had Lake on their side. Camila could only imagine the horror that could have enveloped if a president hostile to the Demon Realm was in office. They could be looking at an apocalyptic war, a nuclear holocaust, or maybe something even worse. Lake had staked her reputation, any chance she had at reelection, and even her very life on the gamble that establishing an alliance with the Boiling Kingdom would be best for the country. Camila may not have agreed with her every policy, and she certainly didn't agree with Lake's insistence in antagonizing Congress to the point where she was practically vetoing every bill that came across her desk, but she had to admire the president for standing up for what was right.
"She's…the leader of your country, right?" Willow said. "That sounds pretty cool."
"It's more than cool!" Luz gushed. "It's awesome!"
"We're still hammering out the details, including the date," Camila cautioned. "But we'll probably be able to have the state dinner pretty soon." She took a few deep breaths. "All right. King, you're in time out for the rest of the hour. There's no changing my mind!" King grumbled, but didn't bother protesting otherwise. He had run afoul of her indominable will when he'd tried to convince her to let Luz attend his coronation back when she'd been grounded for lying to Camila about the Isles; she had not budged in the slightest. "And when that's done, you're sleeping on the couch in the living room, and then we'll talk with Raine about your sleeping arrangements after that."
With that done, Camila went back to bed, after calling Raine to let them know of King's whereabouts. She had to get a lot of sleep, because she had a very unpleasant day ahead of her.
In the morning, Camila stopped by the consulate to decide with Raine about where King would be staying. It was decided that King would indeed stay in the consulate, if only because Raine pointed out that it would be a really bad idea to have the entire royal family residing in the same place all at the same time. Camila hoped King would get the message. But in any event, going to the consulate wasn't why she'd decided to go down to Seattle. She just happened to take advantage of it because she was in the area. No, Camila was in Seattle to go to a place she hadn't been in two years. She was going to Congregation Ezra Bessaroth, one of the city's two Sephardic synagogues.
Like all Sephardim, Camila's distant ancestors had been forced with the choice to flee Spain or be forcibly converted to Catholicism when the Jews were expelled from Spain in 1492. They chose to flee Spain proper to the its colony of the Captaincy General of Santo Domingo, in what is now the Dominican Republic, because contrary to Monty Python, they had expected the Spanish Inquisition to come after them otherwise. Around the turn of the twentieth century, they left the Dominican Republic for the United States, settling in New York City.
Camila had grown up in the neighborhood of Washington Heights, which was nicknamed Little Dominican Republic for all its Dominican immigrants. Her parents were Orthodox Jews, and very observant. They kept kosher, tried to follow the various mitzvot as much as possible, and believed in God in a way that Camila, as hard as she tried (and she had tried very hard), could not. And they'd certainly subscribed to the Orthodox Jewish viewpoint that homosexuality was wrong, that marriage should be between a man and a woman only.
Not all Jews believed that. Congregation Ezra Bessaroth had been very supportive of LGBT rights. They'd supported the initiative that legalized same sex marriage in Washington. Camila absolutely refused to be part of any congregation that didn't support her identity fully, even though she was still in the closet and, until Luz came out, had no intentions of ever coming out herself. Despite that, Camila had always been…uncomfortable there. It wasn't the fault of anyone at the congregation. It was just her past experiences with organized Judaism making her worry that she was a fraud for partaking in prayers that she didn't believe in, saying praise to a God she wasn't sure even existed.
But she'd stayed because she felt Luz deserved to make her own choices regarding her faith. Eduardo also had enjoyed the services back when he was alive, so staying there also felt like she was honoring his legacy. Luz seemed to enjoy the services as well, so Camila had toughed it out. She'd certainly been very insistent in staying until at least after Luz had been able to have her bat mitzvah; Eduardo would be appalled if his daughter had missed such a milestone in her faith. After Luz's bat mitzvah was over, though, Camila and Luz's attendance at the services just got spottier and spottier until they'd pretty much stopped going altogether. Camila never got any complaints from Luz, so she was sure she'd made the right decision there.
Camila's feelings about her Judaism had just gotten more and more conflicted ever since Luz had come home from "summer camp" and started the chain of events that had transformed her life inextricably. She was, in technical terms if not biological ones, a witch now and that was a pretty big no-no in the Jewish faith. That suffer not a witch to live thing? The Jews had that first. Luz had come to terms with her faith, but Camila struggled with the question of whether she could be Jewish and a witch at the same time on a daily basis.
If religious issues were the reason she'd come back to Ezra Bessaroth, she'd be a very happy woman. But unfortunately, she was here for another reason: It was the one place she knew she'd find her parents. They'd never miss a Sabbath, ever. Okay, true, they could have been at Seattle's other Sephardic congregation. But they weren't. Instead, they were sitting attentively in their seats, reciting the prayers alongside everyone else. Camila just watched from the hallway and waited for the service to end. It wasn't right to interrupt her parents in the middle of something that was so important to them.
When the service was done, there was a reception with food (and certainly, one of the best things about being Jewish was the excellent food), and everyone was milling about and talking. Camila made a beeline for her parents. She really hoped the surroundings were going to prevent them from making a scene.
Sebastian looked guilty upon seeing her. Camila had heard from Emira that the enchantments laid upon him had been dissolved by Näkijä, but Camila didn't truly believe it until she saw his face. "Camila…I owe you an apology."
"You owe me a lot of things," Camila said, fighting to keep her voice neutral. "An apology is just one of them."
"I should have known better than to suspect you of abusing Luz," Sebastian said, seeming to ignore her comment. "I know I raised you better than that. To have fallen for such base lies, such egregious mental manipulation…I am ashamed of myself. Though I still do not approve of your lifestyle, it's clear that you are not a threat to my granddaughter."
That would have to do, Camila knew. It would take much more time before Sebastian would move a muscle on her so-called lifestyle. The important thing was convincing him to drop the suit. Convincing Guadalupe was unnecessary; she always followed his lead in important matters such as this. "Well, I'm just relieved you're acting of your own free will again."
Sebastian pursed his lips. "Odalia is truly a diabolical foe. She fed us poisonous lies, and we believed her wholeheartedly. And in so doing, we did the bidding of our own son-in-law's killer."
Camila pressed her advantage. "I'm sure you can make up for it by helping us stop them."
"We have spoken to Agent Johnston of the FBI about Havik's location and the meager knowledge we have of his plans," Guadalupe assured her. Camila did not expect anything to come of this; Havik probably was changing locations by the day, just in case. "But we are not dropping the custody suit."
Camila's mouth dropped open. "What?! You can't do that! This is exactly what she wants!"
"Unfortunately, we have no other choice," Sebastian said, sounding genuinely saddened. "It is the only way to ensure that Luz's health and soul are both preserved. You have good intentions, I am sure, but all witchcraft is evil and a corruptive force. Luz could turn just as evil as Odalia in time." Camila could not help herself; she burst out laughing. "To say nothing of the fact that she has grievously neglected her faith under your tutelage. Tell me, Camila, do you even keep kosher anymore? I suspect not."
Camila crossed her arms. "That's none of your concern. Luz would sooner die before she gave up on her magic."
Guadalupe put a hand on Sebastian's arm, sensing he was going too far. "That's not the issue at hand. As long as she remains in your custody, she is a target. We will take her to safety. We will go to Santo Domingo and raise her there."
Camila narrowed her eyes. "What aren't you telling me?"
"Odalia has said that if we lose the custody suit, she will kill Luz," Sebastian admitted. "She has avoided doing it so far because the idea of her separated from Amity and forced to let her magic atrophy is more appealing. But if we fail her, Luz will die."
"We can protect her," Camila promised.
"Like you protected her at that party?" Sebastian retorted. "I am sorry, Camila. I don't want to do this. But we have no choice. Odalia is simply too powerful for us to fight. She bent us to her will once. I will not take the risk of her doing it again."
Camila sighed. "Then there appears to be nothing more to say."
"I'm sorry," Guadalupe said.
"No, you're not," Camila retorted, and she stormed out of the synagogue without bothering to say another word.
Clara was a killer now. She'd always be a killer, and the worst part about it was that she couldn't bring herself to care very much. She should care, she knew. She had never liked Erik, and one could argue that he deserved his death, but she'd known him for years. She'd even gone out with him once; as head cheerleader, she had pretty much been obligated to date the star of the football team at some point. He'd been a part of her life for a long time, and she'd put a bullet in the back of his head.
Why had she done that? Couldn't she have just shot him in the leg or something? But no. She'd acted on impulse. He was trying to kill Luz and so she killed him in turn. In cold blood. Just like that. She should be bothered by that. Wasn't that what good people do? Agent Johnston, a good person if there ever was one, said she had done the right thing, but was he right? Clara had no clue. She did know that no one blamed her for killing Erik, not her parents, not the law, no one. No one but herself.
At least she had a wonderful beloved to take her mind off of things, even if Vee truly sucked at comforting people. Clara had no clue how Vee managed to be so calm about all the horrific treatment xe received. If Clara had gone through even a hundredth of what Vee had experienced, she'd be a total, utter wreck.
"Doesn't it bother you?" Clara said to Vee at lunch one day at school, after Vee had tried to comfort her through talking about how xe'd been forced to kill dozens of sentient beings by the time xyr age hit double digits, and, as usual, failed miserably. "I mean…why are you not traumatized by this?"
Vee sighed. "Well, part of it is because owning the bad things that happened to me gives me power. But honestly, I just think basilisk brains don't do trauma, not in the way human brains do. I know it's…weird that I'm so calm about all this. I know I'm weird. But I just don't see the point in pretending I'm upset. It happened, it's over, and now I'm happy." Xe leaned in and kissed Clara on the cheek. "Having great girlfriends helps with that!" Clara's beloved was such a flatterer. Xe always knew the right things to say.
"You're a tower of strength, Vee," Clara said admiringly. "And look at me. I'm nearly a wreck because I had to kill an asshole who was trying to commit murder, and I got shot in the leg." Thankfully, her injury was healing with swiftness, augmented by Mrs. Noceda's healing magic. "Sometimes, I don't think I'm worthy of you."
Vee's eyes widened. "No! Don't say that. You're incredible! You're such a sweet, kind person."
"I wasn't always," Clara muttered bitterly.
Vee shrugged. "The past is in the past. What happened, happened. I wouldn't have asked you out if I thought you were a bad person, Clara. You made mistakes, but you've changed."
Clara hoped Vee was right. But she still feared she was the same person who had called Luz a Luzer dyke, hit her, and provoked dozens of people into mocking her. Before she could say anything, Willow walked over to her table and sat down next to her. "Clara, I was wondering if I could talk to you in private, please?"
Clara exhaled sharply. She'd been fearing this moment would come for ages. Willow was finally tired of sharing. She was going to order Clara to break up with Vee. Would Clara do as she said? She had no clue. On the one hand, breaking up with Vee would devastate xyr. On the other hand, Willow was ridiculously scary at times, and Clara didn't want to see the full extent of her plant magic. No, Clara would fight for this relationship, she decided. Vee and her made each other happy, and goodness knows both of them needed all the happiness they could get their hands on.
"I was wondering what you planned to do about homecoming," Willow said, and Clara blinked. "It's just, I was planning on asking Vee to homecoming, and…well, I know you want to keep your relationship with xyr secret, but I don't have to do it if you think it'll be too upsetting to you to see us dancing without you."
Clara was touched. Willow was willing to forego a chance to spend a wonderful evening with her datemate just for Clara's sake? That was really nice of her, especially since she'd been Vee's girlfriend first. But, no, she would not let that happen. Clara was determined Vee was going to have the best homecoming at all possible, and if that meant she'd have to be sad to be on the sidelines, then so be it.
But that wasn't the only option, Clara knew. Fear had caused her to try to keep her relationship with Vee secret. But really, what was the worst thing that could happen if people found out she was in a polyamorous relationship? They'd burn her at the stake? Been there, almost done that. Clara had killed, yes, but she'd also almost died. She could have burned to death, a death unimaginable. It had changed her perspective on a lot of things, including just how important the opinions of her peers were. Besides which, most of the people who would have led the charge against her were under arrest anyway.
"What if we both took xyr to homecoming?" Clara asked. She wished she sounded more confident about the idea, but honestly, even getting the words out was scary. She was brave enough to do it; she wasn't brave enough to have no reservations. "I mean, we're both xyr girlfriends…xe shouldn't have to choose between us."
Willow looked stunned. "I…didn't think you were okay with people knowing."
"Almost dying changed me," Clara admitted. Willow nodded. She'd probably had a lot of experience with that back in the Demon Realm. "I want to go with xyr to homecoming. I know a lot of people won't understand…they'll think I'm a freak or something. But…they're not worth my time, are they?"
"It's understandable that you're nervous," Willow pointed out. "I know how you feel. A lot of people actually hate basilisks back in the Demon Realm. They were once the apex predators of our land, and a lot of people think they're monsters. My dads are good people, but they still have a lot of trouble with me being with Vee."
Clara sighed. "How do you handle that?"
"The well intentioned people, like my dads, I just explain it to them. Sometimes they get it; sometimes they don't. It's often not their fault – society just instilled those values so deeply into them that logic doesn't really connect. The assholes, I cocoon in corrosive vines until they back off." Clara blinked a couple of times. "That was a joke." Clara breathed a sigh of relief; she could definitely see Willow doing something like that. "They aren't corrosive."
Clara coughed. "Right, well…I figure if we're going to ask xyr, let's make it public. Do it while everyone's watching. If we're going to do this, I want to rip the bandage off right then and there."
"Sensible," Willow said approvingly. "I knew there was a reason Vee kept you around."
Luz gestured Willow over to her table. "Excuse me a sec." Willow sat down next to Luz. Luz must have cast some sort of a silencing spell, because Clara couldn't hear a single word they were saying, even though by the end of their conversation, they were practically screaming at each other. Eventually, Vee got involved in the conversation, and it got even more heated. Luz was practically aflame with sheer, unmitigated anger. Finally she dropped the spell and the yelling she was doing abruptly became verbalized: "You're making the biggest mistake of your life, Vee!" She stormed off.
Clara followed her and intercepted her before she could leave the lunchroom. "What the hell was that about?"
"Just telling Vee what a bitch you are," Luz sneered at her. "You know how much xe's suffered over the years? Too much! And you're just gonna break xyr heart in the end. Oh, I know what this is. You're just dating xyr because xe's exotic and it's fashionable. The moment it's not, you're going to drop xyr like a hot doomtato!"
Clara shook her head. "Luz, it's not like that!"
"Of course it's like that!" she practically screamed. "It's what you do! It's who you are!"
"I don't understand why you hate me so much!" Clara shouted at her. "Why can't you forgive me? You forgave everyone else! Hell, you forgave Ben, who stood you up, and Jessica, who spread the rumor that you were only getting good grades because you were screwing all the teachers!" Luz looked shocked and Clara winced. Clearly, she had not heard that particular rumor. But Clara pressed on nonetheless. "What I did to you was horrible, and I am so sorry. But what makes it so much worse than everything else?"
Luz took a few steps back. "It's not – I don't have to explain anything to you! You're the aggressor here, not me! You're not going to trick me into falling in love with you again!" She clapped her hands over her mouth, looking aghast. "No. That's all done. I have Amity now. You have Vee. Let's just…go our separate ways."
"Luz, I saved your life," Clara said pleadingly. "Doesn't that mean anything to you? I killed for you. You owe me an answer! Why can't you forgive me?"
"I ALMOST KILLED MYSELF BECAUSE OF YOU!" Luz screamed, and everything seemed to freeze in place. Everyone had heard her yell that, everyone in the entire lunchroom. Everyone in the whole world would now know what Luz just said, thanks to the power of social media. She started shaking and she was struggling to hold back tears.
"I…I didn't know," Clara whispered. "I didn't think…you seemed so perky in the weeks after…you were happy, you tried out for cheerleading…"
Luz spat in her face. Clara didn't even bother wiping away the spit, she was so shocked by Luz's revelation. "I wasn't going to give you the satisfaction of seeing me like that." Clara wanted to say that she wouldn't have been satisfied, that she didn't take pleasure in Luz's pain, but she wasn't sure whether or not she'd have been lying, at least with regards to how she thought back then. Maybe she would have been happy. But she was telling the truth about having assumed Luz had just bounced back after the incident.
Luz leaned against a wall, trying to steady herself. "You never suffered any consequences. None at all. Not even now that it's all out in the open. You don't know my pain. You can never know my…pain…" An idea occurred to her and she gave a huge grin. Clara didn't like the sound of that. Not one iota. "Actually, you can." She took out a piece of paper, dropped it on the floor, got on her hands and knees, and drew an elaborate glyph on it with a pencil.
"This is the Empathy Spell," Luz explained. "Amity invented it. Her tutor also knows how to cast it, and together, the two of us found the glyph necessary to cast it. If I cast this on you, you'll experience my memory of what you did to me and what came after. If you do that, and one other favor, I'll forgive you. I promise. But I won't cast it without your consent. It's your choice."
Clara hesitated. Under ordinary circumstances, there was no way any sensible person would have taken Luz's deal. For all she knew, the whole thing could just be a trap to kill her and make it look like a spell gone wrong. And Clara knew that she was setting herself up for the one of the most horrible experiences she'd ever gone through, even if Luz was acting in good faith.
But Luz was right. Clara had gotten away with her crimes scot free. She hadn't gotten anything more than a reprimand from her parents. She was still the most popular girl in school. She was on the cheerleading squad (well, she had been before her injury), she had an incredible beloved, and everyone respected her. Luz had suffered because of Clara. Wasn't it just that Clara experienced Luz's pain?
"This is…safe?" Clara asked. "It's not going to kill me?"
"I lived through it…barely," Luz said, her voice calm and cold. "You will too."
"I deserve this," Clara said, her voice barely a whisper. "All right, Luz. Do it." Luz tapped her foot on the glyph and then there was no more Clara. She was Luz now, experiencing the past through Luz's eyes, entirely subsumed in her memories.
Luz was in the best mood she ever had been. Clara liked her! She knew Clara liked her because she had listened to Luz infodump about the Good Witch Azura series for over an hour, and she hadn't even complained once. Not to mention she'd said she looked cute that morning! Cute! Man, if that wasn't a smoking gun that Clara – the Clara MacKinnon, the captain of the cheerleading squad, the most beautiful and popular girl in middle school – liked her, Luz hadn't had the slightest clue what was.
A girl as stunning and sensational as Clara deserved a gesture that was not just over the top, but practically in orbit in comparison to the top's location. True, some of her grand gestures of romance hadn't exactly been…raging successes, to say the least. But that was just because they weren't grand enough! The movies informed her that the lovable nerd always got the girl at the end, and why on Earth would Hollywood lie to her? There was no reason at all, obviously.
So she brought a huge bouquet of roses to the school. It had been difficult to get them to fit into her locker, and she'd had to come to school at least two hours early to get them in there without anybody seeing, but it was going to be so worth it in the end, because Clara would be her girlfriend. They'd go on dates. They'd kiss! Luz was looking forward to the kissing in particular. She'd never kissed anyone before, but it had to be an experience worth having, because why else would people be so obsessed with it otherwise?
Luz felt a surge of nervousness as she took the roses out of her locker. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea asking out the most popular girl in school in front of everyone? She wouldn't say no, of course – she was in love with Luz, obviously – but maybe she should tone it down a notch? Nah! If anything, it probably needed to be toned up a notch. But this would have to do.
She strode over to Clara, and it was almost overwhelming how beautiful she was. She couldn't imagine a more enchantingly gorgeous individual in all her manifold fantasies, and she'd tried. It was as if the forces of the universe had aligned to create a perfect being.
It was time. She'd practiced her speech in the mirror over and over again. It was perfect. If someone had asked her out with it, she'd be head over heels in love with them. "Clara, would you go with me to the spring fling?!" she said, almost in one breath. "Because I really think we have a connection and you're so smart and nice and pretty, and I really like you! I really do, and I think you like me too, and –"
Clara knocked the roses out of Luz's hands. What was she doing? Was it just a prelude to kissing her, and she wanted the roses out of the way? And then she smacked Luz across the face. Okay…well, Luz had heard of people who liked their affection rough. She was wise to the ways of the internet; she'd never met a parental control system she couldn't break through. If Clara was into that sort of thing, Luz was willing to give it a shot.
"Get this through your freak Luzer skull," Clara hissed. "I'm not a dyke." Oh, God. Oh, no, no, no…this couldn't be happening. No, not again. Not now. NOT CLARA! Clara, the best friend she'd ever had, Clara, the most beautiful girl in school, Clara, the girl she loved more than anything in the whole universe…
…Clara, who'd never felt anywhere close to feeling the same.
"If you even speak to me again, I'll kill you," Clara said, and then she walked away. The kids around her started chanting Luzer dyke, because that was what they did. It was just how the world worked. Luz was a Luzer dyke. It was true. Everything everyone had ever said about her was true. She was a worthless waste of space who would never amount to anything. Even Principal Hal had told her that she would probably fail all her classes and should probably kill herself.
It was starting to sound like a very appealing idea.
Luz backed away slowly. All her classmates were against her. All of her classmates would always be against her. No one could ever love her, and Clara had just proved that. The fact that her mami loved her was irrelevant. She was just doing that out of obligation. She didn't really love Luz; she was just pretending. Luz was nothing more than a burden and a mistake. She shouldn't even exist.
She didn't bother going to her last classes. She didn't even bother staying in school. She just walked for the exit, her mind racing with horrible thoughts she barely even made an effort to stop. You're not worth it. You're a fool. A weakling. Everyone was right about you. You make your mami's life miserable.
Papi probably welcomed death because it meant he wouldn't have to deal with you anymore. Whoever killed him probably did him a favor.
Luz barely even noticed that her steps were leading her home. She was crying and her face was contorted with self-hatred and a thousand ugly emotions. Above all, she was just tired. She was tired of the endless array of bullying. She was tired of pretending there was a point to her life. What was she? She was nothing. A pathetic failure who had been dumb enough to believe the head cheerleader was in love with her. What sort of a moron did that?
No one who deserved to live, to be sure.
She strode into the kitchen, and she opened the drawer, and she pulled out a knife. A wicked sharp blade. All she had to do was thrust it into her heart. She knew exactly where it was. She'd bleed out in minutes, and it would be over. She'd see Papi again. Or maybe there'd be nothing. But surely even nothing would beat this endless array of suffering the universe had condemned her to?
DON'T, a voice screamed in her head. LUZ, DON'T! Her grip on the knife didn't waver, but she didn't move it either. And why not, Luz asked the voice. What's so good about this world anyway? I'm nothing. I'm no one! I try, and I try, and I try, and nothing is good enough, because I'm a freak and a Luzer and a retard, and I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT! I JUST WANT OUT! No one loves me, and no one ever will…
Mami does. If you do this, she'll blame herself.
And that was what caused the grip on the knife to finally waver. Because Mami was amazing, and she'd given up so much to take care of Luz, even though she'd obviously be so much happier if Luz wasn't in her life. And, sure, eventually Mami would be happy to have Luz dead, but she'd be very upset at first, and Luz couldn't inflict even more suffering on her than she already had.
"I…guess I have to keep going," she said, noting the note of disappointment in her voice. "For Mami. Maybe things'll get better?" She slid the knife in the drawer. "Nah." And with that, she went upstairs to do her homework.
With no warning whatsoever, the effects of the spell came to an end and Clara was deposited back in her consciousness again. Everyone was staring at them. Clara had absolutely no idea what they had seen or experienced. Luz didn't seem like the type of person to make everyone experience that, but maybe she'd done it by accident? But no. Everyone would be a lot more traumatized if she had. It was Clara who was looking traumatized. Her face was practically drenched with tears. She felt like she was ready to throw up.
"I didn't know," she said, her voice hoarse. "Luz…God, I swear, Luz, I didn't know. I…was that the only time?"
Luz nodded. "I decided I could still win your heart…well, that didn't exactly work out, did it? I never stood a chance." The strange thing was that Luz was actually wrong. She had stood a chance. Because Clara…kind of had felt something for Luz. Certainly Luz had been wrong about being in love with her, but, yeah, Clara thought Luz was pretty and cute and funny. Maybe if she'd asked her out in private, Clara might have said yes…or at least let her down gently. But the past was in the past, and it could not be changed. Well, probably not. Surely if Luz had magic that let her change the past, she'd have done it already.
"And then I went to the Isles, and since then, life's been awesome," Luz went on, her voice deceptively cheerful.
"I never…I never meant to do that to you, Luz. I never wanted you to kill yourself! I…oh, God, I'm a monster…no wonder you couldn't forgive me."
Luz stood up and gave her an almost, but not quite, cruel smile. "There's just one thing that I want you to do, and then I'll forgive you. I want you to ask me to homecoming."
Clara blinked. "But…you have a girlfriend. I'm in a relationship too."
"You want forgiveness, Clara?" Luz shouted at her. "Ask. Me. Out!"
Clara took a deep breath and poured as much sincerity into her voice as she possibly could. "Luz, would you go to homecoming with me?"
"LOUDER!"
"PLEASE GO WITH ME TO HOMECOMING!" Clara shouted back at her. Everyone was staring at her. It was less than she deserved. "You're just…such an incredible individual. You're so strong, you've survived so much…and it was my fault. Please let me make it up to you. Please let me be your date."
Luz walked over to her. She was still stunningly attractive. How had Clara never noticed just how hot Luz was? She leaned in so close that Clara thought for a few seconds Luz was about to kiss her. Their lips were almost touching. "Clara MacKinnon," Luz said in a voice that almost oozed seductiveness, "I wouldn't go with you to homecoming if you were the last girl in creation."
Luz slapped her across the face hard enough to leave a bruise, just like Clara had once done to her. "You're forgiven!" she said in a perky tone, and then she walked away.
Edric had been thinking a lot about some very deep topics recently. Those who knew him would be incredulous about this. They saw him as nothing more than a happy-go-lucky, devil-may-care playboy who didn't take anything seriously. There was a very good reason for this, and it was because that was the impression he had deliberately cultivated.
It had, of course, started because of his mother. If there was one thing Odalia hated, it was public embarrassment. Odalia could either accept that her children, the heirs to the Blight family, were undignified pranksters who embarrassed and humiliated her on a daily basis, or she could just stop having them be her children. To just…move on. So Edric had flirted shamelessly with anything with a pulse. (At least at first. Eventually, Edric realized he was gay; before he came to that realization, he had just flirted with men to piss off Odalia.) He drank, smoked, and took drugs, and he did it all in full view of the public. He had a jest and a quip for every occasion.
And it worked. For him. But not for Amity. It wasn't until fairly recently that Edric realized – and cared, unfortunately – that his determination to rebel had caused Amity to bear the entirety of their mother's expectations for them. It had nearly destroyed Amity. Amity was too indoctrinated by Odalia to even think about rebelling. Not until she met Luz, anyway.
Edric took on a persona to free himself from Odalia…but in a sense, he hadn't actually freed himself from her. His personality had been created in direct opposition of her. He had no clue who he'd have been without her trying desperately to place him under her thumb. Who was Edric Blight? There was no way of knowing. Or so he had thought.
But then Luz had returned from a parallel universe with tales of Edmond Serrano, a variant of Edmond that had never been raised by Odalia. Who had grown up in the Human Realm with a human adoptive mother – Luz's own, as it happened. Who had been loved. And Edmond was markedly different from Edric in a variety of ways. He was studious, strategy-minded, and somewhat amoral, but also kind, loving, and selfless. He was the person Edric should have grown up to be.
Who was Edric Blight, when all was said and done? Was Edmond his true self? Did he even have a true self? Was that even a thing? Or was his true self just what stood before him, the array of personality issues held together with charm and audacity?
Edric had no clue. But he knew that when he was pretending to be Mr. Jacobs, substitute teacher and normal human, he was happy. He didn't have any expectations to adhere to. He had a clean slate. It was particularly ironic that he could be more of himself while masquerading as a perfect stranger than he could be around his own friends and family who knew him as himself.
Edric wanted answers. He wanted to know who he was, what he was meant to be, and who he should become. At the end of the day, there was only one person he thought might have them: himself. So he procured a special hallucinogen from the black market back in Bonesborough, one that would allow witches to hallucinate having their inner selves being manifested into reality. In large doses, it could be deadly, which is why it was illegal, but Edric was sure he'd be fine with the small dose he was taking.
He took the pill and sat down on the couch in Jacobs' apartment and waited for his inner self to manifest. And waited. And waited. Nothing seemed to be happening. Of course nothing was happening. He'd probably gotten swindled. Well, at least he seemed to be in full possession of his faculties and the pill had just been a dud, not something dangerous. So he walked over to the door, figuring he'd see a movie or something, and threw it open, and then his inner self was on the doorstep.
Edric's inner self was remarkably similar to Edric's outer self. Luz had reported that her own inner self was a few years older than her, so Edric was surprised to see that his inner self was pretty much the same, physically. There were a number of aesthetic differences, though. Edric's inner self – okay, until proven otherwise, he was just going to call him Edmond – had very short, neat hair, in his natural green, rimless glasses, and some, but not too much, acne. He was dressed very smartly in slacks, a muted green shirt, and a sweater vest. He looked like a nerd, but a stylish one.
"Mind letting me in?" Edmond asked, and that, Edric knew, was not just meant in a literal sense. Edric had forced his innermost self out of his life, and now Edmond had to ask permission to return to the fold, even briefly. That was what he had done to him.
Edric stepped aside and let Edmond into his apartment. "You never should have let Jerbo go," Edmond noted. His voice was slightly disappointed. "He was incredible in the sack. Seriously, no one has even come close."
Edric let out a laugh. "I…thought you were supposed to be the responsible side of me."
"I am the responsible side of you!" Edmond said with a grin and a laugh. "It's just that's not saying much! Eh, truth be told, you're better off without him. He saw you…he never saw me. You never cared for him enough to let him see me. That's nothing against him. He just wasn't the right man at the right time."
"I'm sorry," Edric said, a profound sense of guilt washing over him. Edmond walked over to him and practically pounced on him with a hug. It felt nice. Like having a brother. Edric kind of always wanted a brother. If he didn't know better, he'd never have assumed it wasn't real. "I've giraffed everything up…"
Edmond put a finger on Edric's lips. "Hey, no. Don't do that to yourself. Some things just aren't meant to be. And that's not our fault…well, maybe a little. But the past is in the past. What do you need now?"
"I need to protect my family," Edric said immediately. "I need to make sure Amity doesn't get hurt again. I need to stop my mother from destroying us all."
Edmond nodded slowly, but he didn't look all that convinced. "Yeah, but that's not why you summoned me. And you don't need those things. Well, maybe the last one. What do you need?"
"I need to know who I am!" Edric said, his voice filled with a desperation that surprised him. "I don't know who I am without her! I know who I am in relation to her, even as her enemy, but I don't know who I am otherwise! You knew! Luz said you did."
Edmond sat down in an armchair, looking completely calm. "Well, no. Because I'm not Edmond Serrano. I'm just your inner self. He and I aren't the same person. And you can't be the same person as he is, because you don't have any shared experiences." He leaned forward. "Unfortunately, Edric, there isn't any right answer. Who you are is the sum of your thoughts and memories, including every time she ever spoke to you. You don't have an inherent self."
Edric would not cry in front of his inner self. Not because he thought he would be judged, but because it was simply undignified. "Then what do I do? Where do I go from here?"
Edmond looked confused, actually. "The thing is, Edric…I think you're doing a pretty good job as it stands. You liked teaching, right?"
Edric nodded slowly. "But no one will ever take me seriously as a teacher."
"You don't know that," Edmond said patiently. "Not until you try. There'll always be haters, but what matters is that you're doing what you want, what makes you happy. It sounds trite, but you should be yourself. You shouldn't try to be what Mother wants or what Em wants or what you think I want, or anything else. Be what you want. Do things that make you happy."
"I tried that," Edric reminded him. "It didn't work out so well."
"Those things didn't make you happy," Edmond said, his voice sounding abruptly harsh. "They made you numb. There's a big difference. You want to really get Mother's satyr? Then be happy. Be yourself. Be free." He stood up and gave a big grin to Edric. "Hey, you've got me here for at least another hour. Want to play Grand Theft Auto?" Edric found that he loved video games, especially sandbox games like Grand Theft Auto or Red Dead Redemption.
Edric gave a smirk. "You are a hallucination, remember?"
Edmond shrugged. "Okay. Want to hallucinate playing Grand Theft Auto with me?"
"You're on!"
It had been a very rough year, to say the least, for Hunter, formerly the Golden Guard. He'd been raised to believe his uncle, the almighty Emperor Belos, was omnipotent, omnibenevolent, and always, always right. But as time went on, it was abundantly clear that he was none of those things – especially when Hunter had discovered the basilisk experimentation and tried to beg Belos to stop torturing them. For his impudence, Belos had severed his arm and gotten him a prosthetic so no one would know. But Hunter knew. He knew that his uncle wasn't the kind, caring ruler he pretended to be. He was a savage, ruthless monster.
He should have done something with that knowledge. But he didn't, because Belos was power itself. He was practically the personification of magic, he was so powerful. Hunter still wasn't honestly sure Belos wasn't the mouthpiece of the Titan, even now. Rebelling against him, Hunter believed, was futile. It was far better to acquiesce to Belos' wishes and hope for mercy, even if mercy was given less and less as time went on.
But he was wrong. A rebellion against him formed and for the first time ever, it actually succeeded. Hunter begged them to spare his uncle, because Belos was family, the only person who had ever showed him love and the only person, he believed then, who ever could. They did not listen to him. Hunter was arrested and in the ensuing battle, Belos was killed.
Hunter genuinely thought he'd be executed. He'd heard good things about the new regime, but he'd heard good things about Belos too. In his mind, rulers were all alike, and he was a liability to the new regime. So it was particularly bewildering when he was pardoned by Prime Minister Clawthorne and placed in a foster home. His foster parents were nice enough people, he supposed. He didn't bother them, and they didn't bother him. It was an arrangement that worked out well for everyone.
But without anyone to tell him what to do, Hunter started spiraling. He was directionless, and he started acting out in school. Hexside's lead counselor, instead of punishing him, decided that what he needed was some sort of purpose, so he got Hunter an internship in the foreign ministry. Certainly his coworkers were very suspicious of him. Those who had once been a part of the Belos regime thought of him as a traitor because he hadn't fought for Belos in the final battle, and those who were against Belos thought of him as a traitor because he hadn't fought for them in the final battle.
With time, however, Hunter managed to persuade most everyone that he could be trusted. This did not, however, include the foreign minister, who was worried he was a spy for anti-Belos reactionaries. In an effort to keep him away from anything sensitive, Hunter got assigned to work in the Boiling Kingdom's consulate in Seattle, a large city in the country of the United States, where Belos had come from and where the princess lived. Hunter knew he was being assigned there to keep him out of the way, but he couldn't be more thrilled. He had always wanted to see the Human Realm with his own eyes, and now he was finally getting to do it.
It…hadn't been anything like what he was expecting. Belos had regaled him with tales of an invincible, perfect, pure country besieged by dark enemies on all sides. It was not quite like that, to say the least. The United States was a country divided not from forces without, but forces within. Well, not unless you counted Odalia Blight, at any rate. The American people were tearing themselves apart over the question of whether the Demon Realm's inhabitants could be trusted. It was not pretty. There were angry mobs and vigilantes everywhere, it seemed like. It wasn't chaos for the most part, but in some areas it was.
But life went on, and even a vigilante mob that nearly killed the princess wasn't enough to dissuade the Clawthorne administration from continuing to pursue relations with the Human Realm. Hunter was shocked to learn that the king himself was coming to Seattle to spend time with the princess. He was also really disappointed when he finally met the King of Demons. He had heard tales that he was a fearsome warrior, but this so-called king was a mere child! Hunter felt cheated by it all.
At least Consul General Whispers was really nice about having Hunter around. They were a really kind, generous person to their allies – which, it quickly became clear, included Hunter – but hard and ruthless towards their enemies. Hunter would not want to be one of the vigilantes when and if Whispers got their hands on them. And they hadn't even blamed Hunter for when King had escaped and somehow managed to make his way to Princess Luz's hometown. Certainly Belos would never have acted that way.
Hunter was tasked to take some paperwork to the city hall, and he was just on the verge of walking out of the lobby, when the door opened and a really hot boy walked in. In fact, Hunter was instinctively wary, worried that this boy was an incubus or some other dangerous creature with supernaturally augmented attractiveness. But, no, he was just a perfectly normal witch of his age, with longish pink hair and the most beautiful golden eyes.
"Hi!" the boy said with a cheerful wave. "I'm here to see Raine – er, Consul General Whispers. Do you know where they are?"
"Sorry, I think they went out," Hunter said, and then the rest of whatever he would have said died on his tongue. "Uh…um…I'm Hunter. Just Hunter…no last name, sorry." He stuck out his hand and only then did he realize he was still holding a file folder and it dropped on the floor and scattered the pages all over. Oh, God, he was looking like such a clumsy fool! "Sorry! Sorry about that."
"Hey, that's okay," the boy said with a very beautiful grin as he helped Hunter pick up the pages. Seriously, his teeth were really shiny. "Edric Blight."
Hunter took a step backwards, worried for a second that Odalia had sent Edric as an assassin. It struck him as the kind of thing she'd do. "Oh, no, no, I'm totally not affiliated with that bitch who gave birth to me," Edric assured him. "I hate her. I hate her so much."
"If you hate her so much, why are you using her name?" Hunter asked rhetorically.
Edric's mouth dropped open in astonishment. "I…uh, you know, you're right. Well, at first it was because she put a compulsion spell on me to stop me from using another one, but it's gone now so…I guess it's cause I haven't thought of a better name."
"What about Bright?" Hunter asked. "You know, because of your teeth."
"My teeth?"
Hunter shrugged. "Well, they're so shiny. You've got such a cute smile! I bet you, uh, you get a lot of girls with it, right?"
Edric shuddered. "No, thanks, man. The last girl who kissed me tried to light my sister on fire. I mean, she didn't know it was me, but still, boys all the way. You? Uh, if you want to. No one's forcing you to."
"Uh, boys are cool," Hunter said, and he mentally slapped himself. Boys are cool? That was seriously the best he could do?
Edric closed his eyes for a few seconds. "Edric Bright…I'm Edric Bright," he said experimentally. "Hey, I'm Edric Bright, nice to meet you…dude, I think you totally nailed it!" He smiled at Hunter again, who steeled himself. He was a dignified member of the Foreign Service who did not swoon every time a cute boy smiled at him! Just this one. "Hey, let me take you out to lunch to celebrate my new name! My treat."
"Uh…sorry, I can't do that. I got work to do." Edric's face fell and he looked like he was about to cry for a second. "But we can go out to dinner after my shift is over! If…um, if you'd like that?"
Edric leaned over and kissed the back of Hunter's hand. "It's a date." And then he walked away with a wink and another devastating grin.
Wow. Hunter had a date now. And maybe a boyfriend.
Awesome.