King loved being king. It was the best thing ever. He'd known all along he was destined for greatness, and sure enough, he sat upon the throne of the Boiling Kingdom and his name was cursed by millions. And that was no exaggeration – he knew for a fact that people throughout the Human Realm thought he was the root of all evil and feared him for it. For so long, he'd feared he'd never truly amount to anything, that he wasn't really the great and mighty king he'd long known himself to be. But they were wrong, and he was right.
Okay, true, it was Eda who did the actual decision making. King was not stupid; he knew about and abided by the large number of restrictions placed on his power by the constitution. But she was welcome to it, in King's opinion. That stuff was boring, and King had no time for boring things. He was a man of action. As prime minister, Eda had to balance budgets and give speeches and engage in ritual combat with the khagan of the Heffalumps. As king, King got to be cuddled on a daily basis by his courtiers, and get all the snacks he wanted, and play with his henchmen in Hexside's baby classes, and all he had to do was whatever Eda said, which he'd had to do before anyway. King was pretty sure he'd gotten the better end of the deal.
The only thing he didn't like about being king was the fact it meant he'd had to stay in the Demon Realm while Luz was in the Human Realm, doing dull human things like school. That was why he was ecstatic when Luz decided to reveal the Demon Realm's existence to humanity – he'd have done the same thing himself, but he didn't want to get into trouble. That Luz sure had more guts than he did! And now, King could come and go to the Human Realm on a regular basis for "state visits." Sure, it meant he'd have to meet with a lot of boring people like the leader of Luz's country (as if she could ever hold a candle to the mighty King of Demons), but, hey, sometimes you had to take the good with the bad.
Since his arrival in the Human Realm, however, he'd been profoundly disappointed in it. Luz had never really spoken well of it in the past, so it wasn't that much of a surprise. But, still, he was hoping that most humans would be like Luz and Camila. Unfortunately, a significant number of humans hated the Demon Realm. That wasn't particularly upsetting to King – he was no stranger for hating people or places for good reasons, like that usurper with the runny nose or THE REALMS FROM BEYOND THE SHADOWS. If humans wanted to dislike the Demon Realm for good reasons or even just for fun, that was no skin off King's nose.
But when millions of people hated Luz, whom they'd never even met, just out of devotion to their faith or because they were scared of change, then that crossed a line. Luz was a sweet, kind person who had bravely navigated all sorts of dangers. She was a good person, and people hated her so much that they were willing to burn her alive. She was just a kid, for the Titan's sake! What had she ever done to them? Nothing! She was just living her day to day life!
King ached to get revenge on the perpetrators, but no, he had to sit back and let the human justice system deal with them. It was galling! But apparently, any attack against a human would be constituted as an act of war, and King would not be known as the monarch who led the Demon Realm into war with the Human Realm. Of course, if the humans attacked first, King would happily unleash his Stuffed Animal Army of Darkness upon them. Human defenses were able to withstand much, but could they withstand a cuddly whirlwind of vengeance? Of course not!
But there was only so much King could take, only so many insults he could let stand before he decided to take action. King had been informed that Luz's grandparents, Camila's parents, had been trying to take custody of her. He hadn't paid it much mind, even when they were going to go to court over it. Camila was obviously a great mother, and any judge would see that. So he really hadn't planned on doing much with his afternoon on the day of the custody hearing other than chilling and watching some human television shows. (He had just started a show called Firefly, and the show seriously had oodles of potential, and he was sure he'd have, like, ten seasons worth to watch, because what morons would cancel a show like that before its time?)
And then Luz had ran into his quarters and burst into tears. King knew right then and there that the travails of brave Captain Reynolds would have to wait. His sister needed him. Luckily, he was skilled in the art of hugging, having refined his adorability for years and years on end. Luz tried to explain what was going on, but she was crying through most of it, so King only caught bits and pieces.
Eventually, Luz collected herself enough to relay her story. King got angrier and angrier the longer she went on. That giraffer McHale tried to make people think Luz was crazy! And he'd implied that Camila was a bad mother, an unstable lunatic, that Luz should be afraid of her! He'd dug up a bunch of old trauma for Luz, including making her talk about her past suicide attempt. (King was shocked to learn that his perennially perky sister had been brought to such a state; if he'd known her back then, he'd have laid waste to all her bullies in vengeance.) And worst of all, he'd helped Odalia brainwash Luz's therapist into humiliating her and giving away details told in confidence that made her look crazy.
Luz was most upset over this last travesty. She had trusted Dustin implicitly, and now every detail he'd ever told her was in Odalia's clutches, including some very humiliating details that King knew better than to pry into. She was certainly a lot more upset over that than Odalia killing Luz's grandparents, and she felt guilty for not feeling as upset as Camila did.
It was hard to know what to say in response to all this, or if he should say anything at all. "Luz, this…this is horrible," King said finally. "But you knew you'd have refuge in the Demon Realm if you'd lost the case, right? I'd protect you." Luz nodded, her face solemn. "I love you. I'd die before letting anything happen to you."
"I love you too, King," Luz said with a slight smile on her face for the first time since she'd arrived. "I'm sorry…I just don't know who else to talk to…I can't talk to Dustin, obviously. I know it's not his fault, but…I can't trust him anymore. I want to, but I can't. It's not his fault, though." King nodded and mentally crossed Dustin off his vengeance list. "I should be more upset that my abuelos are dead…but I'm not. They're not my family. Not like you are."
"I'm not upset they're dead either," King admitted. "I'm just upset our mami is upset. Luz, we need to do something about this McHale guy. He can't mess with us and expect to get away with it."
Luz gave a sigh, looking defeated. "Yeah, he can. That's what happens in my world, King. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people, and that's the way it is and always will be." Well, that didn't sound like a fun world. No wonder Luz had jumped at the first chance to leave it. "It doesn't matter. Odalia's probably going to kill him soon anyway. Anyway, let's not worry about that! We're going to Washington DC! You excited?"
In truth, King was not. He didn't really care about meeting Lake or visiting the United States' capital. It was just a chore, part of the cost he'd have to pay in order to spend time with Luz. But she seemed so excited that King couldn't bear to disappoint her, so he feigned enthusiasm.
Despite Luz's words, King was not ready to give up on McHale. He conceded that it was probably not in his best interests to kill him. That'd put a wrench in Eda's plans, and Odalia no doubt had a far worse fate in mind for him than anything King could devise anyway. But there had to be some vengeance, and it had to be public, and quickly, before Odalia could kill McHale. It was a shame that his Stuffed Animal Army of Darkness was back at the Owl House. Sure, Luz's stuffed animals were worthy minions, but they were hers. It wouldn't be right to use them for his own quasi-unauthorized mission of vengeance.
And then an idea occurred to him. It was, in the words of the humans, a light bulb moment.
King had been forbidden from going anywhere without someone to accompany him, but fortunately, he'd discovered that the intern Hunter – Amity's brother's boyfriend – was easy to persuade to take him just about anywhere. Hunter put on a tough façade, but once King unleashed the full powers of his cuteness, Hunter was just putty in his hands. (Which probably also explained why he and Edric were getting along so well too.)
So the next day he'd convinced Hunter to take him to the Harrington residence, where Gus was staying with two of Luz's human friends. And sure enough, it was child's play to convince Gus to use his illusory skills to create a vengeance worthy of the King of Demons.
"So this guy's a bad guy, right?" Gus said, sounding nervous as King, Hunter, Avery and Sean rode on a bus back to Seattle. "Like, really evil?" He did not seem to have kept up with the saga of Luz's custody battle if he was asking that question.
"He made Luz cry, Gus," King said simply. Gus let out a gasp, and then gave a curt nod, his expression grim. King had him on the hook right then and there, he knew.
Sean leaned back in his seat, looking like he was looking forward to the vengeance to come. "It's about time we struck back against these bastards."
"Sean, language!" Hunter said sternly.
"What's a bastard?" King wondered. He was always on the lookout for new swear words.
"Never mind," Sean said quickly. "The point is, they've been acting, and we've been reacting for too long. It's time we took the fight to them! Too many people have fallen for their lies…like my parents." He was silent for a few moments. "Anyway, I'm in for whatever. Unless we're killing him. I draw the line at that."
King shook his head. "Don't worry, he's not going to die. He'll just wish he was dead, that's all." Sean started to look panicked. King scowled at him. People were so much more chill about these things in the Demon Realm. But then again, Sean was Luz's friend, and he'd refused to abandon Luz even when social death or, later, actual death awaited him for being that. That loyalty meant something to King. "It's going to be fine," King assured him. "We're just gonna scare him a bit, that's all."
Avery looked unconcerned. If anything, they looked a little disappointed they weren't going to get a chance to kill McHale. "He hurt Uncle Dustin and Luz. I hope we scare him a lot."
Sean was able to find McHale by using his mysterious technomancy known as hacking to gain access to the servers of just about every fancy hotel in the Seattle area and looked through their guest list one by one until they found the one McHale was staying in. (Sean was just guessing that he was staying in a very fancy hotel; if he hadn't been, Sean probably wouldn't have been able to find him.) King really didn't understand a word of the explanation. Human technology mystified him. The humans said it didn't work by magic but it sure sounded like magic to him. But the point was, they knew McHale's location, and now it was time for vengeance.
The four of them got into the vertically moving box and went to the top floor of the hotel. Thankfully, it was empty; having someone be present as a witness would ruin King's brilliant plan. Gus used an illusion to summon King's Stuffed Animal Army of Darkness. His minions appeared before him, large as life. While they appeared cute and cuddly, King knew they were fearsome warriors of pure evil, possessed of terrifying dark sorcery, especially Mr. Silly, the fluffy bunny rabbit.
"When you said Stuffed Animal Army of Darkness, I was expecting something…scary," Avery complained.
"Silence, heretic!" King shouted, pointing a finger at Avery's face. "I will hear no more blasphemy out of that mouth of yours!" Avery struggled to hold back laughter, the ungrateful wretch. Why, if they weren't Luz's best human friend, King would show them a thing or two!
Sean shrugged. "I think this'll be plenty scary enough…but just in case, can you ratchet up the fear factor, Gus?"
Gus modified the illusions so that the Stuffed Animal Army of Darkness's eyes were all glowing red, and smoke was coming out of their mouths and they were twice the actual size. King was jealous. His illusory army was so much more intimidating than his real one. He'd have to order his courtiers to do something about that when he got back home.
A door opened, not McHale's, and a human woman stared at the sight before them. "Wow, I must have had more to drink than I thought," she mumbled, and closed the door. King breathed a sigh of relief, and then directed the minions to advance towards the penthouse suite where McHale was staying. King was just glad they were on his side!
Sean took a human scroll out and started filming the scene before him, a sadistic smile on his face. King took a deep breath and exhaled a sonic blast which knocked down McHale's door.
"Follow my lead, King, okay?" Avery said gently. King was intrigued. He decided to let Avery take the lead for now. Well, not take the lead. As the King of Demons, King was obviously in charge. But a wise king knew when to let others use their experience to guide him.
McHale, dressed in pajamas and looking like he'd had a few glasses of apple blood or whatever the human equivalent was himself, let out a high pitched shriek. He practically jumped over to his desk and grabbed a gun from a drawer. Hunter stepped in front of King instinctively. "We're going now!" Everyone ignored him. Hunter just groaned.
"You stay back!" McHale said, waving the gun at the Stuffed Animal Army of Darkness.
"Mr. McHale, my name is Avery Harrington," Avery said casually, as if they were just having a friendly chat. "I'm really not happy about what you did to my dad's friend. You really hurt him a lot. And you hurt my friend Luz too. You shouldn't have called her crazy. It wasn't very nice of you. I think you should apologize."
Sean whispered in Avery's ear and showed them what he was doing on his scroll. Avery gave a huge, gigantic grin for a second, and then a cool expression returned to their face. "Yeah. I'd like you to please apologize for your rudeness. Luz is just a child, and you traumatized her."
McHale sneered at them. "Or what? You'll have these monsters eat me?"
Avery looked befuddled. It was an impressive performance. King almost would have believed it. "I'm sorry…what? It's just the five of us here. And can you stop pointing that gun at us? It's…kind of messed up. We're just kids. We're not going to hurt you."
"You knocked my door down and you're here with this dark army of stuffed animals!" McHale shouted. "And you're saying you're not here to hurt me?!"
Avery tilted their head, confusion lining their features. Titan, this kid should try out for the theater someday. "I mean…yeah, sure, we knocked down your door. Fair enough. We'll pay for the damage. But…what's this dark stuffed animal army you're talking about? Do you see one of those around here, Hunter?" Hunter shook his head, a slight grin on his face. "Sean?" Sean held out his scroll. The illusions didn't show up on it.
Gus covertly waved his finger and the illusory Stuffed Animal Army of Darkness advanced on McHale, who let out a high pitched shriek and started firing his gun randomly at the illusory creatures. Hunter immediately picked up King and ran towards the staircase. Gus dispelled the illusion and the four of them ran down the stairs at top speed.
"Man, I really shouldn't have let that happen," Hunter said, panic lining his voice. "Oh, Titan, Consul General Whispers is gonna kill me for putting you in danger!" Avery looked alarmed. "Not literally," he clarified. "But I'm sure to get sacked."
Sean looked at the footage in his hands contemplatively. "I don't know about that…I think they'll understand the importance of this little errand of ours. Luz is practically their stepdaughter, after all." They went to a store called Starbucks across the street. Apparently, it sold a drink called coffee, which King was very strictly forbidden from ever drinking. They watched from tables outside the Starbucks as police cars drove up to the hotel and a few minutes later, McHale was dragged off in handcuffs.
"But, officers, there was an army of possessed stuffed animals at my door!" McHale protested. None of the police officers looked particularly impressed. He was thrown into the back of the car.
Sean leaned back in his seat as he posted the video on the human equivalents of Penstagram. McHale's arrest, combined with the video footage that appeared to show him losing his mind and opening fire on innocent children, would utterly devastate his reputation. They'd done to him what he'd tried to do to Luz. He'd never work again, and he'd spend the rest of his life in jail (since Odalia was sure to kill him even quicker now that she was worried he'd spill her secrets).
"Revenge is sweet," King said, rubbing his hands together. "How about we all celebrate it with some coffee, including me?"
"Nice try, King," Sean said in a deadpan tone.
Willow was utterly petrified. Her magic was based on connecting with the earth, with the nature given by the Titan himself. Even on Earth, where there was no magic, she'd felt serene and comforted by the plants around her. True, there weren't as many plants around as there used to be (Willow had been positively gutted when she heard of the deforestation in the Amazon rainforest), but their energy had been quite sufficient.
But now, she was going to be going on a plane with absolutely no plants around her in any way whatsoever. There wouldn't be any ground. There was nothing but a perilously thin tube of metal preventing her from falling to her death. Vee had reassured her that if something happened, xe'd transform into a roc and rescue them all, which had comforted her a little, but still, Willow's mind couldn't help but think of the grisly fates that could await them if the plane crashed. It was so high. Humans must have been crazy to want to go in the air, in her opinion.
Still, there was no getting around it. Eda did not want news that the portal could be used as an intrarealm teleportation device getting around, so they were going to Washington DC in a private jet owned by Eda's ex-husband's great-niece's wife Pacifica Northwest. They could have gone using commercial travel, but there were a lot of people who were going to be traveling, and Eda thought it would make the Boiling Kingdom look bad to have its leaders traveling in something as mundane as a commercial aircraft.
As they boarded the plane, Willow couldn't help but feel a stab of fear. The plane was very luxurious, much more so than the pictures Amity had shown her of regular commercial aircraft. It reminded her more of a fancy living room than anything else.
Willow tried her best to hide her fear from her datemate, but Vee could sense her emotions as they boarded the plane like they were magic. Maybe they were. "It's gonna be fine," xe assured Willow. "There's nothing to be scared of…Amity tells me that accidents are very rare on these devices."
"I know," Willow admitted. "It's just…so high up."
"I'll find ways to distract you," Vee promised.
Willow raised an eyebrow. "Do these ways include kissing?" she asked teasingly. Vee stuttered incoherently. "Could they include kissing?"
Vee cleared xyr throat and kissed Willow on the forehead. "Maybe. If you play your cards right." Xe looked over at Clara, embarrassed suddenly. Xe hadn't had any objections to xyr polyamorous relationship yet, but Willow knew xe were still working xyr way through something so new and unfamiliar. Xe were awkward about showing affection to either of xyr girlfriends in front of the other. Well, Willow would just have to help xyr work xyr way through that.
There were certainly a lot of people who were on the plane with them. There was Luz and Camila from Willow's host family; Caroline, Agent, and Mrs. Johnston from Amity's host family; Steve, Sean, and Avery from Gus's host family; and Clara and her parents from Vee's host family. In addition, there was also King, Raine, Hunter, Eda, and Edric. All in all, that was twenty people going to be attending the state dinner. It was quite the crowd. How many of those people would Vee be able to save if the plane crashed?
Willow shook her head to ward off those thoughts. She was being paranoid. No one else appeared to be worried; they were all admiring the luxury of the airplane, even those who'd flown on a commercial plane before. Amity was practically exploding with happiness; she loved planes with a great passion and had quizzed Pacifica's pilot about what his job was like earlier with such intensity Willow was worried the poor man might faint. Gus was busily making notes on a notepad that Willow had a feeling would fill up quickly.
When the plane finally took off, Amity let out a shout of joy. Propriety had probably prevented her from doing it last time, so she was making it extra loud to compensate. "Hey, Luz, can I talk to you and Clara for a second?" Willow called out. Luz looked instinctively wary for a few seconds, then consciously forced herself to relax. Vee was about to follow her, but Willow put up a hand. "Not you, sweetie. Don't worry, it's okay!"
Willow sat down on a couch in the back of the plane as Clara and Luz sat beside her, side by side. Luz had been pushing herself to be extra nice to Clara since she'd given Clara a taste of her own medicine. Not only had Luz promised to do so, but she also had privately confided in Willow that she felt guilty about maybe having taken things too far. It still came across as fake sometimes, but Willow was surprised at how often it did not. Luz had genuinely been fond of Clara as a friend before Clara broke her heart, and it seemed that she'd slipped back into that mindset with ease. "So Clara and I are planning on asking Vee to homecoming. And we want to make a huge deal of it too. Xe deserves it. We're going public with our relationship too, so it's got to be somewhere with a lot of people."
Luz let out a squeal so loud that she had to assure her friends everything was all right. "I can't believe it!" she said. "That's so romantic! So how can I help?"
"Well, Clara doesn't really know much about Washington DC, and we were hoping you did," Willow explained. "We're trying to find a super romantic spot to do it in."
Luz rubbed her hands together in anticipation. "Oh, boy, did you ask the right person! Well, I don't actually know any romantic spots myself…" She used a summoning glyph to summon a book to her hands. "But I checked this guidebook out from the library just in case you had questions about the city! Well, it was more for Gus, but you can use it too! There's got to be something in here you can use." Willow was impressed by this atypical foresight from her usually very impulsive friend.
"Hey, Luz…you really don't mind?" Clara called out, sounding still insecure. "I know it might hurt to see me with someone else."
Luz laughed. "Oh, Clara, don't worry about it! I'm so over you." She pointed at Amity, who was looking at the clouds outside her window with an expression of pure awe on her face. "No offense to Vee, but I'm pretty sure I'm the one with the best girlfriend here." A more serious expression came on her face. "And, Clara…I want a clean slate for us. No more bringing up the past."
"Deal," Clara said, sounding relieved.
Willow spent the next few hours reading through the guidebook. It was absolutely fascinating. Washington DC was home to some of the most important museums in the Human Realm, in addition to holding the various institutions of the American government. There were war memorials, the biggest library in the world, and so much more. It would be completely impossible for Willow to see everything there. But try as she might, she could not find the right place for asking Vee to homecoming. And then she turned the page and she saw it. The absolute perfect place. "What do you think?" she asked Clara.
"Perfect," Clara pronounced.
Despite having mostly distracted herself from the terror that flying brought her, Willow was profoundly relieved when the plane touched down safe and sound at the airport. They were met at the airport by a fleet of cars which took them all to the Boiling Kingdom's embassy, where they'd all be staying. Willow stayed well clear of the ambassador, whom Luz said resembled a hammerhead shark, and looked at her like he was having to constrain himself from eating her. Not that she suspected the ambassador would eat her, but Willow wasn't exactly going to give him a chance to prove otherwise if she could avoid it.
Everyone had a whole day's worth of sightseeing planned before they were supposed to be at the president's mansion for the state dinner. Willow relayed her plan to Camila, who was positively delighted by it. It was nice to see a smile on her face. She'd been so melancholy since Odalia had murdered her parents, especially as she'd barely had any time to even consider forgiving them for their sins before they died. Camila gladly escorted them over to the West Potomac Park, where the instrument of her exceedingly romantic plans awaited, then left them there, ostensibly to visit the nearby Franklin Delano Roosevelt Memorial, but really to give them some privacy.
"You ready?" Willow asked her metamour as Vee was busy looking over at the huge obelisk across the water in awe. At her request, Vee was in xyr original basilisk form. It had been hard to convince Vee to be in that form in front of people, but it'd all be worth it in the end.
Clara took a few deep breaths to psyche herself up. "No!" she admitted with a shrill laugh. "It's so scary! But I'm gonna do it anyway…because Vee deserves it."
"We all deserve it," Willow corrected her. Seeing Luz's torment through her own eyes had definitely done a number on Clara, and while Willow couldn't say that she hadn't deserved it, it still made Willow sad to see Clara so down, especially when Clara had demonstrably changed.
In fact, Willow was getting quite fond of Clara. She still had absolutely no interest in dating her, primarily because, after careful consideration, she had come to the realization that she simply was not attracted to humans. She wasn't sure why. It definitely wasn't a universal witch thing, as Amity amply proved. But it was true. Nevertheless, Willow was becoming good friends with Clara and discovering that they had a lot more shared interests than just Vee.
"You can still back out," Willow offered. "I promise you, I won't think less of you. We can do it in a private setting…"
Clara shook her head. "I'd rather have this over and done with." Willow knew that they'd be all over the internet instantaneously. People were already filming Vee with their phones and xe wasn't even doing anything noteworthy. Willow was kind of used to being a celebrity already, being one of the heroes who helped slay Belos, but this was on a whole other level. "You think xe'll say yes?"
Willow just looked at her askance. "Yeah…why wouldn't xe? You're starting to sound as insecure as Luz. Our Vee loves us both. Of course xe's going to say yes."
Clara gave a dopy grin. "Our Vee…I never thought I'd say this, but I could definitely get used to that." She took a deep breath and walked over to Vee with Willow at her side.
"Vee, you've brought so much light to my life," Clara began. "I know I was scared to let people know in public of our relationship, but I'm not scared anymore. I want the entire world to know that Vee the basilisk is my beloved! That we're in a relationship together! I don't care what they say. Maybe they'll think you're weird for dating both me and Willow." That was said for the benefit of the drawing crowd that all three of them were resolutely ignoring. "But I don't care what they think." She looked Vee straight in the eyes. "I love you."
Vee shook xyr head in wonderment. "I…wow, Clara! Wow!" Xe didn't seem to be able to say anything else, so amazed was xe at xyr good fortune. "Holy smokes!"
"And I love you too," Willow said. "I'm so glad we both get the opportunity to date you, even though Clara and I aren't dating each other." Vee looked a little confused as to why Willow was iterating a piece of information she already knew.
Well, the exposition was over, and now it was time for the good part. Willow looked over to the row of trees before them. She had read in the guidebook of Washington DC's famous cherry blossoms. They only bloomed in the spring…unless you were a witch with access to plant magic. With an unnecessarily elaborate spell circle, Willow cycled the tree's life stages to the point where it was in bloom, then with another one, added about a year to its lifespan to make up for the half year she'd stolen from it. The blossoms were beautiful, worthy of the fame it was given. But they weren't half as beautiful as Vee.
"Vee, we both have an important question to ask you," Willow went on. "And we understand if maybe you'd rather answer it in private –"
"YES!" Vee screamed. "YES, I'LL MARRY YOU BOTH!"
Willow and Clara's cheeks turned an identical shade of crimson. "I…no!" Clara stammered. Vee looked crushed. "I mean, that wasn't what we were going to ask! But…wow, that's good to know. For the, you know, future. When I can wrap my head around the idea. Which is definitely not now, that's for sure."
"We'd like to ask you to homecoming," Willow said before Clara could babble more. "Both of us want you to be our date to the dance. Please?"
Vee looked confused. "Well, yeah. Of course I'll do it. Why'd you have to make this big production of it?"
"Well, people don't know I'm dating you, so I wanted to announce it with a bang," Clara explained. "And also…I like giving grand gestures to my beloved." As they'd planned, both Clara and Willow kissed Vee on xyr cheek. Willow felt a surge of worry at how the humans would react to it – how the people who knew Clara would react to it – but it dissipated like the wind when she saw the stunned, deliriously happy look on her datemate's face.
Gus had been obsessed with the Human Realm for as long as he could remember. It had started, according to his father, when he'd read a picture book about humans in the baby class, and from then on, Gus was hooked. He'd gone through a period of time where he had a human imaginary friend (and manifested him into reality with illusions, thus showing his proficiency for the subject for the first time). He'd voraciously read every single word ever written about humans, even though the Belos regime's official stance on them was that they were beneath notice to good witches. He'd personally founded the Human Appreciation Society at Hexside and was stunned to realize that there were other people who liked humans as much as he did.
The more Gus learned about the Human Realm firsthand, the more he realized he'd leapt to some absurdly embarrassing conclusions regarding them. They didn't have gills, for one. But moreover, he realized he had romanticized humanity. He'd seen only good things about them. He'd thought of them as some sort of higher being, creatures from an ethereal realm. Meeting Luz had caused him to realize, to a limited extent, that this wasn't the case – even though Luz was an amazing individual, she was hardly perfect. But it wasn't until he actually lived among humans that he saw that they were just as capable of horrible things as witches.
It had been sobering to realize that the history of humanity wasn't just as bloody as that of witchkind, but rather bloodier. Witches and demons had traditionally warred against one another, but without any other sentient species to war against, humanity had turned against itself. They fought horrifying wars, sometimes with depravities the likes of which the giraffes would have committed, just because of imaginary lines drawn on a map! Or the liquid that powered their cars! Or beliefs that they couldn't even prove!
That wasn't to say Gus believed witches were superior. They were capable of immense savagery, as Vee could amply testify. But the superior technology of humanity meant they'd had more opportunities to use their savageness to an extent Gus could scarcely comprehend. History class in human school was a never ending series of shocks for Gus, as his faith in humanity's purity was mercilessly smashed to bits with every sentence he read in his textbook.
But Gus didn't understand exactly what humanity was truly capable of until, purely by chance, he had stumbled upon their darkest moment. Unlike everyone else, Gus and his housemates hadn't come up with an itinerary in advance for their time as tourists in Washington DC. They had taken the underground train known as the subway (which Gus found terrifying, though he'd never admit it) to the National Mall and walked around aimlessly.
Gus studied the map of the city Mr. Harrington had given him very carefully. "What's this Holocaust Memorial Museum?" he asked, and then his three companions, froze, looking almost scared. "Uh, guys? Did I say something offensive?"
Sean took a deep breath. "Maybe…we should give that a miss. Wouldn't want to ruin your day."
"Yeah, what about the National Museum of American History?" Avery suggested with a nervous laugh.
Gus put his hands on his hips. "You do know I can just look this stuff up on the internet now, right?" Mr. Harrington had warned Gus that the internet could be extremely dangerous if not handled properly. While it was the biggest source of information possibly imaginable, it also had many, many lies on it as well, and it could be difficult to discern the truth from lies. But Gus was ready to navigate dangerous waters in the quest for answers.
"It…doesn't make us look very good," Avery said after a while. "Humans, I mean. I know you like us a lot…we don't want to burst your bubble."
Gus was disappointed that they thought he couldn't handle it. He was a teenager now, after all. "There's nothing you can tell me that'll make me hate humans," Gus assured them. "I know there's been a lot of bad humans…but you're not like that."
"Do you know about World War II, Gus?" Mr. Harrington asked, his voice solemn and quiet.
Gus nodded. Amity had mentioned it in her report on her trip to Seattle. "The United States fought against the Nazis, because the Nazis were evil and trying to take over the world."
"Pretty much, yeah," Mr. Harrington said, twisting his fingers anxiously. "The Nazis hated the Jews."
"That's Luz's religion," Gus recalled. He didn't really understand human religions very well, but he knew the Jews had undergone a lot of prejudice and scorn in their time.
Mr. Harrington looked surprised. "Huh. Didn't know that. The Nazis killed…just about every Jew they could get their hands on, Gus. They sent them to camps…killed them en masse. They killed six million of them. That was the Holocaust…the most evil thing in human history." He pointed at the map. "This museum was built to keep the memory of the Holocaust fresh in human minds…so it could never happen again."
"Six million…" Gus muttered. "Why – how – why?! How can humans do that to each other?"
"It's complicated," Sean said. "And, believe me, Gus, people have been asking that very question since it happened all those years ago. But…humans are very good at tricking themselves into thinking other people aren't human."
Gus's cheek felt wet all of a sudden and he realized he was crying. The pedestal he'd put humanity upon was crumbling, and there was nothing he could do about it. In the end, at their worst, they were no better than giraffes. Maybe even worse…the giraffes, even at their evilest, had not engineered a scheme that caused so many deaths. "They killed Luz's family," Gus whispered.
"Probably not her literal family," Sean said. "They weren't in Europe, so they likely were spared. But her people, yes. Luz's great-grandfather – Sebastian's father – fought in the army during the war. He died storming Normandy, the beginning of the end of the Nazi regime."
Avery put a hand on Gus's shoulder. Gus leaned into the contact. "Humans are capable of great evil, but they're also capable of great good. Great sacrifice. Courage. Compassion. There's a group of people called the Righteous Among Nations. That's the name for people who saved Jews from the Holocaust. They broke the law, they put their lives in danger, they went against everything they'd been raised to believe, just to do the right thing."
And so Avery told Gus stories of the Righteous Among Nations. They told the story of Raoul Wallenberg, a diplomat from a neutral nation who gave away passports to thousands of Jews, who tossed passports into a train of Jews being sent to a concentration camp, dodging gunfire as he did so. Of Loukas Karrer, mayor of a small community in Greece, who defied an order to give a list of Jews in his village, only putting his own name on the list. Of Chiune Sugihara, a Japanese diplomat in Lithuania who saved thousands of Jewish lives by giving them transport visas, even though he was defying orders from his government, who were aligned with the Nazis, by doing so.
Gus couldn't imagine having that much courage. Having the will to stand against the tide of evil when it seemed relentless. These people acted with courage and honor and knew there wouldn't be any reward – indeed, that great punishment would likely ensue. Wallenberg, for example, had died at the hands of the Soviets when they took Budapest; his body was never even found.
Humans may not have been the superior beings Gus had thought of them as. But knowing they were capable of such appalling brutality, and, for the most part, actively chose to defy their natures, made them no less spectacular to Gus than they always had been.
"So you want to go to the museum?" Mr. Harrington asked finally.
Gus shook his head. "Honestly, it strikes me as…disrespectful. This is a human atrocity. I'd feel…I don't know, kind of weird."
"Well, let's do something fun with the afternoon instead," Sean suggested. He peered at the map closely. "Aha! Here we go! The International Spy Museum! I know how much you like that stuff."
"Do I ever!" Gus said, his eyes shining brightly. He'd read dozens of human spy novels over the last few months and watched quite a few spy movies. But he knew that those things were a work of fiction. The reality of espionage was likely more prosaic than that. Not that it wouldn't be absolutely fascinating to see, though! "Sounds like a plan."
The International Spy Museum turned out to be a lot more cool than Gus thought it was going to be. He'd spent so much time preparing for the experience to be less exciting than he'd hoped for that he was taken aback when it was pretty much exactly as exciting as he'd hoped for. He could tell, of course, that there was something of a performative element to the whole museum. It romanticized a business that Gus knew had claimed quite a few lives. But still…it was awesome.
Gus got to pretend to actually be a spy, to have a cover identity that was regularly tested. He got to crawl through an air duct, wear a disguise, and participate in a dead drop. Okay, yes, it was all pretend, but damn it, it was cool. Gus was happy to just indulge in his love of all things espionage. And he got to see some real espionage artifacts, actual gadgets such as an electronic listening device placed behind a carving of the Great Seal of the United States in the Soviet embassy back in the Cold War, a pistol concealed in a tube of lipstick, and a camera small enough to fit in a buttonhole. Gus was in paradise!
"I wonder if people are spying on us right now," Gus said as they left the museum after a long afternoon of seeing incredible things. "Like, wouldn't that be so cool?"
"They probably are," Sean reminded him. "You're from the Demon Realm, after all. People are gonna want to know everything you do."
Gus couldn't help but jump up and down with excitement about that. Being spied upon was the next best thing to actually being a spy. Of course, there were limits – he certainly hoped he wasn't being spied upon in the shower, for example. But it was really flattering in a way to think that the CIA could be watching him right now, that he was important enough to merit such a thing.
"I just hope they decide I'm not worth the trouble," Mr. Harrington muttered, and Gus immediately realized he'd been insensitive. Dr. Henderson had been forced to mention his time tussling with the government, incidents that Mr. Harrington had been involved in. Moreover, he'd divulged some information that could be seriously embarrassing to the government if properly investigated, even though they occurred around forty years prior. He probably had reason, if not necessarily exceptionally good reason, to fear government intervention.
Gus gave him a winning smile. "Don't worry, Mr. Harrington! They'll have to get through me first!"
"I told you a thousand times, kid; call me Steve."
"Yes, sir, Mr. Harrington!" Gus said chirpily. Mr. Harrington groaned.
From her extensive research on Washington DC, Amity had learned a great deal about the Smithsonian Institution. It comprised nineteen museums, sixteen of which were in Washington DC. There had never been a single doubt in Amity's mind which one she was planning to see first (and probably, with the limited time available, only). Ever since first learning about airplanes, Amity had become absolutely obsessed with them, a special interest the likes of which only Azura and learning about the Jewish faith had surpassed, and it was rapidly eclipsing both of those special interests.
Going to the Museum of Flight in Seattle had only increased the fervor in Amity's heart for airplanes. She had recently returned to the museum for a second visit and saw some of the things that she hadn't gotten a chance to see the first time. One of those things was the Concorde, which was a plane that could go faster than the speed of sound. It boggled the mind! The only animals in the Demon Realm that could have exceeded that speed were rocs, and then only barely, and they were extinct anyway. But humans had made a mechanical device that'd go that fast, and then they'd decided to stop using it because it was too loud. Like, what was even up with that?
So there had, of course, been no doubt in Amity's mind that she was going to hit the National Air and Space Museum. The Johnstons escorted Luz and Amity to the museum while Camila and her partners enjoyed a romantic afternoon together, far away from the National Mall, because Camila was secretly terrified Eda would try to steal something from the Smithsonian if given the chance. Amity thought that was a trifle unfair, but just a trifle. The habits of a lifetime were hard to break.
She knew that all too well, after all.
But it had been an absolutely lovely day, even before they got to the museum. It was unseasonably warm and the falling leaves – something trees in the Demon Realm did not do – made the National Mall look just gorgeous. (Amity still had no clue why it was called that. She knew a mall was a building where a plethora of stores were, and the National Mall didn't meet that description at all. Just one of the many mysteries of humankind.) Naturally, its beauty was surpassed by Luz's, but that was a given by this point.
The National Air and Space Museum was absolutely incredible. It was not unexpected that it surpassed the Museum of Flight, given that they had the full extent of the federal government behind it, but Amity was still somewhat amazed that anything could surpass the unmitigated magnificence of that museum.
"Dad, can you please give Amity and Luz some space?" Caroline requested as Amity marveled at the incredible looking planes all around her. True, Amity wanted to fly jumbo jets when she grew up, but that wasn't to say the smaller planes weren't something to look at as well. "I mean, this is a pretty safe place, right?"
"I thought the party was safe too," Agent Johnston reminded her, his voice pointed. He pointed at the scar on Caroline's face. "We learned otherwise, didn't we?"
"Oh, Carl, you can watch from a discreet distance at the very least," Mrs. Johnston suggested. "If there's a problem, you can heroically leap into action. Not that there will be, of course!" Amity agreed with her. Though, of course, she understood the need for caution, it wasn't as if there wasn't security in the museum as well, and they were surrounded by people. It wasn't like the party at all.
Agent Johnston scowled at her, looking grumpy. Mrs. Johnston didn't look like she was fazed for a second. "Oh, very well," he said after a few moments. "But Amity, if I tell you we need to leave, you need to follow my instructions, no questions asked, okay?" Amity nodded. She knew Agent Johnston was an expert in his field; if he said things looked bad, Amity would trust him.
"All right!" Luz said with a huge smile on her face, and Amity realized who had really been behind Caroline's suggestion. "Oh, man, there's so many cool things here for you to see!"
And Luz was quite right. While Agent Johnston followed them from a very discreet distance – he didn't even seem like he was in earshot – Luz gushed over the various exhibits in a surprisingly authoritative manner. It was clear she'd done her research in advance. Not all that surprising, given that she'd probably assumed Amity would want to come to the museum the instant she learned they were all going to Washington DC together. Luz probably knew which exhibits Amity would be most interested in, namely the ones involving the early days of flight as well as anything at all related to space travel.
"Now this one, this one's truly special," Luz said, sounding like she was barely able to contain her excitement. Amity couldn't exactly understand why, because the plane in question looked like it barely qualified as one. It appeared to be just a bunch of cloth held together by some very thin pieces of wood. It didn't even have any walls.
"Okay," Amity said, humoring her.
"No, no, no!" Luz said, looking shocked she wasn't seeing the significance of the plane. "This is the Wright Brothers' plane! The very first airplane in existence! This is where it all began, Amity!"
Amity blinked a couple of times. Wow. Luz was right. This plane was indeed extremely historically significant. "It's so…so…" Luz nodded at her encouragingly. "So pathetic." Luz looked shocked and betrayed, like Amity had just punched a puppy in front of her. "I mean…I could break this thing if I stuck my hand through it."
"Please don't do that," Agent Johnston called out. Amity wasn't sure if he thought she was serious or not, but it was best not to test him, so she kept her hands far away from the plane.
"And you went from this pile of scraps to landing people on the giraffing moon in the space of a single human lifetime!" Amity went on, struggling to keep the awe out of her voice. "You humans are just astonishing. I bet if witches made something like this, we wouldn't be able to be that ingenious."
Amity wondered if, one day, she'd be able to witness witches landing on their own moon, or even on other planets in their own solar system one day. Now wouldn't that be cool. The only thing cooler than being a pilot would be being an astronaut. By the looks of it, Luz was probably thinking the same thing. Well, maybe that wasn't the case. It was Luz, after all. She could be thinking about just about anything.
"Speaking of the moon, there's something even cooler than this that I have to show you!" Luz said, her arms flapping with excitement. Amity caught Agent Johnston looking at her in bewilderment in the background. How odd. Amity would have thought Agent Johnston would have been used to Luz's stims by this point, given that his daughter was her best human friend.
But ultimately, as long as he didn't make a fuss, it really wasn't Amity's concern. She followed Luz out of the room and to another part of the museum. She ran so fast that she tripped and fell twice and Agent Johnston looked hard pressed to keep up with her. No surprise there; Luz had developed quite the talent for running what with all the things that kept on chasing her in the Demon Realm. Amity just followed her at a leisurely pace; she knew better than to expect to surpass her girlfriend's speed. She'd first thought it was just a human thing, but she'd come to realize that, no, it was just a Luz thing.
"You should try out for track and field," Agent Johnston suggested, his voice wry, when they finally tracked down Luz.
"Nah," Luz said. "I think I discovered during my brief grudgby playing career that sports aren't my thing…though I sure look good in cute uniforms and sweating, don't I, Amity?"
Amity's cheeks flushed scarlet from embarrassment. "Luz! Do you have to mention that in front of Agent Johnston?"
Luz looked somewhat ashamed. "Oh…sorry."
"It's not a big deal," Amity assured her, because she could tell it was genuinely bothering Luz instead of her having taken it as just mere teasing. "Let's see what you brought us in to – HOLY TITAN!"
Amity looked at the object in the center of the room with reverent awe. She knew exactly what it was, because she'd seen this small, almost triangular object before. Well, a similar one, anyway. It looked like it would barely fit one person, much less the three people it ended up holding. It was a lunar module. She'd seen one at the Museum of Flight, but that one hadn't actually ended up going into space. But unless Amity missed her mark, this one had.
"It went to the moon, didn't it?" Amity said, her voice soft. "Oh my Titan. I can't believe this thing went to the moon!"
"Yes, it did!" Luz said, smiling widely. "This was the command module for the Apollo 11 mission, the first time mankind ever set foot on the moon. It was…one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."
Amity could not help herself. Her arms were flapping shamelessly. It was so frigging cool! She was getting a chance to see just how humanity had made the first leap towards becoming a spacefaring species. "This is the coolest thing ever…I really want to touch it."
"No, don't!" Luz shouted.
"Relax, Luz," Amity said with a laugh. "Of course I'm not going to actually touch it!"
Agent Johnston's cell phone rang, and he walked away to answer it. Whoever was on the other end of the line wasn't in the mood for much chatter, because the call was over with very quickly. "Well, I have some good news for you both," he said. There was a glint in his eyes that Amity wasn't sure she liked. "There's a member of the Smithsonian's Board of Regents who wants to talk to you, Amity. He wants to know what you think of the museum."
Amity's eyes lit up. "Will he let me touch the lunar module?"
Agent Johnston shrugged. "Will he let me have the lunar module?" Amity said, entirely jokingly. Titan, she'd give anything to own the lunar module, though. She wondered how much it would sell for.
"No."
"Please?" Amity said with a pout. "I'd be very nice to it and I'd take it on walks and everything!"
"Still no."
The three of them walked through the hallways of the museum until they reached a zone that was for employees only. There was a lot of walking to meet this Board of Regents member. Amity recalled from her research that the Board of Regents were the leaders of the Smithsonian, responsible for its upkeep and continued operations. There was something else about them, something important, that she really felt like she should be remembering, that was important, that was evading her memory. But whoever this person was, he'd probably know a lot of interesting facts about planes that Amity could bond with him over. Maybe he'd be willing to make some sort of a trade with the Demon Realm and that way Amity could see the lunar module every day!
Agent Johnston led them to a storage room, and Amity had just enough time to wonder why they were meeting with the Board of Regents member in a storage room when Agent Johnston closed the door behind her, locked it, and then pointed his gun at Luz.
Luz let out a little shriek, but Amity barely even registered it, because standing in front of her was Odalia. Luz immediately stepped in front of Amity, as if that would do anything. Next to Odalia was a man that Amity recognized from the newspapers as Abel Thompson, vice president of the United States, which appeared to be the equivalent of the position of deputy prime minister. And, Amity belatedly remembered, he was also an ex-officio member of the Smithsonian's Board of Regents.
"Luz Noceda," Odalia hissed. "We meet again, face to face. It's been some time since you had me locked in that hellhole of a prison."
"Psycho Green Haired Lady!" Luz blurted. Odalia's face twitched. "I won't let you hurt Amity!"
Odalia cackled. "My dear child, what makes you think you have a choice in the matter?" She turned to face Amity. "Amity, I cannot tell you how disappointed I am in you." And even though Amity had told herself she was done seeking her mother's approval, something in her dropped like a stone at the ice cold words coming out of her mouth. She would not cry. Blights did not cry! "You cavort with filth, you disgrace the name Blight with your bestiality and homosexuality. At least the harlot has not yet gotten you pregnant – thank heavens for small mercies."
Amity spat in her face. Odalia did not react in any way. "It's Bright now," Amity said, pushing her luck. "I'm Amity Bright, just like my siblings. The Blight family is dead. It's the Bright family now."
Odalia twitched a finger and pain flared behind Amity's eyes for thirty solid seconds. It was agonizing, like being stabbed repeatedly with white hot needles in every part of her body. At the end of it, she was on her knees, crying and whimpering and begging and pleading. "You are very lucky, child, that I require you alive and unmarked."
She turned to face Thompson, who grinned lecherously at Amity. "Vice President Thompson here has been a most useful ally. In gratitude to him, I have decided to affiance you to him." Amity couldn't help herself; she threw up a little on Odalia's shoes. Odalia just sniffed contemptuously. "Once you help me bring an end to Joanna Lake's presidency, and thus make him president, he will drag our two realms into war, and only the worthy will survive it."
"Gee, mommy, didn't know you had a death wish," Amity sassed as she stood up on unsteady feet. If she was going down, she'd go down fighting, just like Luz would.
Odalia just smiled serenely at Amity. "Your defiance means nothing. In the end, you will facilitate the destruction of this realm, whether you want to or not."
"My girlfriend will never help you!" Luz shouted. "We'll tell everyone what you're planning!"
Odalia grinned savagely at her. "Oh, no, you won't. You won't remember a thing when I'm done with you." Luz gulped. "It is your fault I fell from grace. Your fault that I am now an outlaw. Your fault –"
"It was your fault," Amity snapped. "You could have had everything. If you had chosen the right side – if you'd shown me even a smidgeon of love – you could have been mother to the upcoming Duchess of the Boiling Isles, maybe even nobility yourself. You could have been respected, wealthy, happy. But you chose a path of treason, disloyalty, and hate, and you will have to reap the consequences of that."
Odalia's eyes twitched. "Teach her a lesson, Swaard!" she snapped at Agent Johnston. Oh, of course he was Swaard. No wonder the mercenary had seemed to go down so easily – it had never been truly him all along. With a chill down her back, Amity realized that the real Agent Johnston had died in another's body and Luz had celebrated his death.
Swaard rolled his eyes. "With what? I'm not the one with the fancy mind powers. All I can do is cause physical harm, and I think they might get suspicious if they wind up with injuries they can't even remember."
Odalia looked like she was about to kill Swaard for a few seconds, but then she must have decided he had a point, because she merely stepped over to Amity and sent her magic forward. Amity tried to fight it; she really did, but it was like an oncoming pathway of water and her meager defenses weren't enough to stop her mother from
She blinked. She felt like she'd lost track of time for a few seconds. Agent Johnston was looking down at his cell phone, annoyed. "Ugh. He got called over to another appointment. Sorry all this was for nothing, Amity, Luz."
Luz shrugged. "No worries! Any moment I spend with my awesome girlfriend is not a moment wasted!" Amity giggled and kissed Luz on the cheek. "So are you going to be at the state dinner too?"
"Indeed I am, Luz," Agent Johnston said with a smile. "It's going to be an evening that's going to go down in history, after all. No, I wouldn't miss it for the world…"