Just so we're clear, this wasn't supposed to be a thing. This wasn't supposed to turn into a fic. It was just supposed to be a one-shot. Look what your wonderful, supportive reviews did. Do you see what you caused? I hope you're proud of yourselves. This is entirely your fault.

Regina sat on the toilet, head in her hands, staring down at her feet. She wondered how long she could sit here, staring at her toes, before she had to acknowledge the truth of the four little white sticks next to her, taunting her from the edge of the bathtub. She'd been sitting there for at least twenty minutes, unmoving, almost lifeless. She should probably be feeling something. Probably. Didn't women usually feel something? Fear? Happiness? Despair?

Regina felt nothing. Numb. Could one feel numb or were they just simply numb? Regina didn't know. She should be getting ready for her date though, not contemplating the complexities of language.

Ha.

Her date. Her date with Emma. She was supposed to be going to Emma's apartment for their date. Their first real, official date. She was meant to bring the wine. Maybe she could bring the wine and the cup of pregnancy tests. Hi, Emma. I know you were only expecting me but I've brought someone else along. I don't really have a choice in the matter. By the way, I won't be drinking the wine that I offered to bring, seeing as I can't.

Regina let out an empty laugh that quickly turned into a sob, burying her face in the palm of her hands as she cried. Why had she chosen to look at the tests tonight? Why hadn't she waited until after her date? She had only confirmed what she already knew, but at least before she could pretend that nothing had changed.

Regina had known for almost a week now. She had known. Of course she had. Regina had lived in her body for sixty years. She had noticed the change immediately, had recognised that something was different right away. And she knew exactly what was causing the change, she had known the reason. But she stayed in blissful denial for six days, pretending nothing was different. However, she'd woken up this morning unable to go another day ignoring the inevitable, deciding as she was bent over the toilet that she had to stop running from the truth. That decision had triggered another wave of nausea and caused her to lose the contents of her already empty stomach. And so here she was six hours later, in her bathroom yet again, bawling into her hands.

Gods, how could she have allowed this to happen? She wasn't an idiot. She knew how this worked. Penis + vagina = baby. It was simple. She knewthis, and yet… She'd gotten caught up. For the first time in so long, she had been happy, carefree. Untouched by all the ugly things of her past, by all the demons that had haunted her for most of her life. Emma had taken that all away. She'd helped Regina forget. She'd made her happy. And Regina had been careless in that happiness, blinded by love and joyful feelings and Emma.

She'd been stupid. And now she was pregnant. How was she going to break this to Emma? She had just started dating the woman. Hell, technically they weren't even dating. Tonight, the dating was going to begin. How was she going to tell her? How was Emma going to react?

Regina took a deep breath, swallowing back her tears as she forced herself to calm down. There was no sense in overthinking this. She would just get up, get ready, go to Emma's pregnancy test in hand, and tell her. She'd tell her. That's what she'd do. And then she'd have the emotional breakdown later.

Regina stood, going to the sink and turning on the tap. She let the cool water run over her shaking hands for a moment before cupping a bit of water and splashing it on her cheeks. She then turned off the faucet, reached for a towel, and dried her face.

Regina looked at herself in the mirror. She looked like shit, but at least she wasn't crying anymore. The puffiness and redness would go away by the time she got to Emma's. She took a deep breath and walked over to the bathtub, breath hitching in her throat the second she spotted the cup with the white sticks protruding from the top. Tears formed in her eyes again and no matter how hard she tried to fight it, they spilled over onto her cheeks. Regina reached out a trembling hand and grabbed the cup, closing her eyes as she grabbed the tests (four, in total) and dumped the liquid into the toilet. She then tossed the cup and flushed, mentally preparing herself to look at the pregnancy tests again. She had broken down the first time she'd looked. And the second. She knew what they said. This time would be different.

Regina took a deep breath, opening her eyes and looking at the contents in her hand.

Positive

Pregnant

Regina squeezed the tests tight as a sound of utter despair was ripped from her throat, her knees buckling out from under her. She landed hard on the tile of the bathroom, heart ripped up inside of her chest as she curled forward. She wept loudly against the cold floor, body heaving as she sucked in a breath of air to cry some more.

She was going to lose Emma. She was going to end up alone, again, because she'd been so fucking careless. Emma was going to leave her. Emma didn't want another child. Emma had said time and time again how she enjoyed her freedom, how she loved the silence of her apartment now that she was no longer sharing a space with a crying child. And Regina, she didn't know if she could do this again alone. She'd done it fifteen years ago, but she'd been younger then, had had more energy, more time on her hands. She had prepared everything, put her entire life on hold, waiting for the day she'd get a call from the adoption agency. She'd had weeks and weeks to fuss over every detail of the nursery, every inch of her home baby proofed before a child had even entered it. She'd been ready, had planned for the very moment Henry had been placed in her arms. And even after all that preparation, after all the books she'd read, the videos she'd watched, she'd barely been able to do it. How the hell was she going to survive this time?

Regina hadn't planned on this. Hadn't ever expected another child in her life. Henry was more than enough. She had never planned on having another. This child was going to change everything, was going to ruin everything.

Suddenly, Regina was hit with a tidal wave of guilt, and she sobbed harder. She was the worst person in the world. The worst mother in the world. What kind of mother said that? Thought that? Guilt that ate at her as thoughts like unplanned, unwanted swam in her head. She was a horrible person. This was her child, Emma's child. The beautiful miracle that they had created together. Even if they hadn't meant to, they'd still created a life together. She was carrying a part of Emma inside of her. How could she think such horrible things about it? Especially when she knew that Emma had grown up so unloved, so unwanted. She knew what that did to a child, to a person, because she had witnessed first-hand through her lover. Are you really going to let your child feel that way too?

Regina already knew the answer to that question, already knew what she was going to do, but she ached at the thought of what it entailed, of the wonderful woman she might lose because of it.

Regina cried until she could cry no more, curled up on the floor, still clutching the pregnancy tests. She let them go when she realised how her hand throbbed from the devastating grip she'd had on them, gulping down deep breaths of air as she tried to calm down again. You're a grown woman, Regina, get yourself together. You can do this. You're not a child. You're not incapable of raising a baby on your own. You've done it before. Get up and face the damn music. You can do this.

Regina allowed herself one more moment before she picked herself up. She reached for the discarded tests, staring at them until she was able to look at them without tears falling down her cheeks. She then washed her face and looked at the tests again, relieved when no tears came.

"This was your own doing, Regina," she said to herself as she went to the bedroom to get ready for her date. "What did you expect would happen? You slept with her twice without protection. The inevitable happened. Now you're going to face the consequences."

Even if it meant losing Emma, Regina knew deep down what she was always going to do. It was why she felt such a deep, crushing ache within herself. She risked losing Emma with her decision. Emma, who had become her best friend, her most trusted confidant, her unbelievably satisfying lover, her whole world, the woman she loved. The woman with whom she had envisioned a future for the first time in… well, in what felt like forever.

After Daniel, Regina had thought herself doomed to be alone. But then Emma had come in decades after Regina had completely abandoned any hope that that would change. After she'd accepted that she would be alone, and lonely, for the rest of her life. Emma had come in, a whirlwind of energy and attitude, and she was so devastatingly attractive. Regina had been unable to remain away from the pull she'd felt towards Emma from the first second she'd come into town. And they'd been inseparable for years now, together for every moment, important or not. Emma had become her everything and now, now she risked losing that, again.

Regina refused to cry any more. She bit hard on her cheek as she steeled her emotions. She zipped up her dress, staring at herself in the mirror as she considered how very soon the tightly fitted material would no longer fit her. She'd get fat soon, and she'd most likely be alone. Again. But she'd have this baby, this beautifully vulnerable creature she had created from love and happiness. A small smile tugged at Regina's lips as she stroked her still flat belly, knowing deep inside that she would do nothing but love and nurture her child, no matter what happened between her and Emma. How could she not? This child was hers, and she knew she could do nothing but adore it.

Regina placed her palm flat on her stomach, turning sideways as she considered her reflection.

"We may be on our own very soon, little one, but we'll be alone together. Mommy loves you already."

Regina took a deep breath. She would do this. She could do this. She would face Emma and tell her what happened, and she'd accept Emma's decision, no matter what it might be. Regina had already made her own choice, and even if Emma's destroyed her completely, she would survive.

After all, she didn't have a choice. She had a new life to consider.

... hmmm, what happens at Emma's house?