Emma entered the mansion, plastic doll clutched in her left hand and a wide grin on her face.
"Did you come here to show me your dolly? Because I assure you, Miss Swan, I don't think I want to see it."
"I'm here for two reasons, and one of them is to show you my skills," Emma responded, unperturbed by Regina's sassy remark.
"Your skills?" Regina asked doubtfully.
"Yep. I'm reading that how-to-be-a-dad book and it said that a newborn poops like a hundred times a day, so you'll be changing diapers pretty much every second until it turns two and you potty train it, so I figured this was a skill I had to learn. And I learnt it."
"On a doll."
"Exactly. Watch," Emma said, waiting until she had Regina's (unimpressed) attention before continuing. "So you lie the baby back like this, you grab its legs, you lift it up, and you take away the dirty diaper. Then, you wipe front to back if it's a girl, which is apparently really important. And if it's a boy, it doesn't matter cause men are full of shit anyway (Regina rolled her eyes as Emma laughed at her own joke). Then you slip the new diaper underneath, and you make sure the picture is facing you, then you put down the front part like so, and then you latch on the tabs and voilà. Kid is changed."
"Uh-huh."
"Yep. I watched YouTube to learn how to do it."
"As impressed as I am that you are able to change the unmoving, lifeless, and completely cooperative doll's unsoiled diaper, I'm afraid I have to say it will be an entirely different experience with a squirmy child and a very messy diaper."
"What?"
Regina flicked her wrist, the doll beginning to wiggle and turn its head, Emma letting out a shout and dropping the demonic baby onto its back. The doll instantly began crying and Emma, horrified at the creepy creature, backed away.
"Come on now, Emma. Change its diaper. You'll need the practice."
"I am not changing that thing's diaper."
"Emma," Regina said reproachfully, trying hard not to laugh, "that is our beautiful child you're speaking so ill of and she can hear you. You've hurt her feelings."
"That thing doesn't have feelings, Regina."
"I'm afraid you're being bested by a doll, dear."
Emma looked over at the brunette, growling.
"Fine."
"Show me your skills, Emma."
"Yeah, I'll show you skills, woman," Emma muttered.
"What's that?"
"Nothing, honey. Nothing." Emma reluctantly approached the possessed toy, refusing to look at its creepy face. Instead, she reached out and carefully grabbed its legs. It was, admittedly, a hell of a lot harder to manoeuvre now that it was fighting back. But, Regina was right, she needed to get better at this, and so she grabbed both of its ankles and pulled down the front of the diaper.
And instantly dropped the doll's legs.
"Oh that's disgusting!" Emma yelled over the "baby's" cries. "What the hell is that?"
"Whatever it was that you made last week, darling. I told you one day it would inspire me."
"Okay, I'm out! So done. I'm definitely out."
"I think everyone already knows you're out, ma," Henry said with a smirk as he descended the stairs. "It wasn't exactly a state secret."
Regina snorted.
"Yeah, yeah, shut it, kid. Where have you been?"
"In my room. What are you even doing?" He asked, eyeing the squirming doll on the table.
"Testing your mother's I.Q. She failed miserably."
"Uh-huh," Emma responded, ignoring Regina's comment in favour of addressing the son she'd come here to see (the second reason she'd come to the mansion- she needed to have a talk with him). "Lawn still needs to be mowed, kid. I told you yesterday."
"I'll do it."
"Yeah. Now."
"I'm busy right now," Henry answered, irritated at his mother's sudden insistence. It could wait.
"Doing what?"
"I'm just busy."
"Kid, you can kiss your Backstreet Boys poster later. Lawn needs to be mowed."
"Ma! What the hell! I don't even have a Backstreet Boys poster."
"Can't really think of another reason you're holed up in your room all the time unless you've gotten ahold of some Playboy magazines and you're mas-"
"MA!"
"Emma!"
Emma shrugged at the twin reactions.
"If that's not the reason, then the kid needs to explain himself and set the record straight. He hasn't been doing his chores lately and I want to know why." Emma turned to Henry. "You've barely been talking to us at breakfast this week, and we don't see you after you get home from school. You're doing nothing around the house. What's going on?"
"Emma," Regina started softly, but was cut off by the blonde.
"No, don't defend him," Emma chided softly. "I know he's going through some 'teenager stuff'," Emma said, using air quotes as she turned to her son, "but that doesn't mean you get to just ignore your responsibilities."
"What do you know," Henry muttered angrily, storming down the stairs.
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing."
"No. You don't get to speak to me like that. What is your problem?"
"Nothing! I'll go mow the lawn later."
"Like you've been washing the dishes lately? And how you took out the trash on Tuesday? You're not leaving this house until you explain yourself, Henry. Your mom's been covering for you cause she's trying to be understanding, waiting for you to talk to her, and I've been patient out of respect for her. But coming here Tuesday night and seeing her put the trash at the end of the driveway, a job that is your responsibility because of the work it takes to haul those bins to the end of the road? No. That's the line. That shit is too heavy for her to be bringing outside and she shouldn't have to when she has a young, able-bodied son who can do it for her. She's done enough shit for you in her life that you can start doing stuff for her.
"How can you be content watching her work as hard as she does and then not try to help her when she comes home? How can you just be fine with the fact that she's doing all of this and not want to help her?"
"The way you wanted to help her after you had that fight?! The way you were here to support her when she was so sad she couldn't leave her room for like a week? Or how she'd puke up her breakfast because she was so upset with you? Or how she couldn't eat without feeling sick? You're one to talk, ma. I can barely stand to be in the same room as you knowing what you did to my mom."
Emma was hit with a stab of guilt, unable to respond. Regina, thankfully, stepped in.
"That's enough, Henry-"
"No, mom-"
"Do not say no to me, Henry Daniel Mills," Regina barked, irate that her son dared argue with her. Her voice dropped low, threatening, and her eyes were dark with fury. "Do not argue with me. You will not say another word. Listen closely because my patience with you has now vanished."
Henry swallowed, his anger replaced with worry and a slight bit of fear. His mom still scared him, even though he was technically bigger and stronger than she was. She looked like she was about to flay him alive, and he carefully backed up, wary of the fire in her eyes.
"You are my child and you will respect me when I speak to you. I have been patient with you. I have been calm. I have waited for you to speak what has been on your mind because I realise that you are going through a difficult time now that you're a teenager, but I will not accept, nor will I allow, you to be so rude to any adult, especially your parents. The way you have spoken to your mother just now is reprehensible. I did not raise such a disrespectful child and that behaviour will cease immediately. Is that clear?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Good. Now, you will answer me truthfully. Have you been sulking in your room because you've been upset about the argument between your mother and I?"
I wasn't sulking, he thought bitter. But he said nothing, choosing instead to give a slight nod.
"Kinda."
"Please explain." Regina responded a bit more gently, a little of her anger dissipating now that she'd let it out.
"I was angry that ma did that and that you just took her back, no problem, like she didn't hurt you like she did and now you're both just pretending like everything's normal. She makes a few pancake breakfasts in apology and that's it? I can't believe you're just acting like everything is fine."
He was angry with his ma, and it bugged him that he'd seen his mom so upset, but his ma never offered any kind of apology. Not that he'd seen anyway. He'd been waiting, and he'd been expecting his ma to apologise, but with every day that went by and there wasn't one, he grew angrier.
Then, suddenly, they just seemed to go back to their usual sarcastic and teasing selves. Like the fight never happened. Maybe they weren't as… close as before, but things were still, they were still too normal between them. And it bugged him. His mom deserved more than that. And he didn't like that she seemed to just forgive his ma like that, so easily.
"And what else has been on your mind? The rest of your 'kinda' that you said earlier?" Regina asked.
"And I've been having some trouble. At school."
Ah ha. Regina worked hard to keep from immediately jumping at him to ask what kind of trouble.
"Okay," she said calmly. "Can we move this to the dining room so that we can sit down, please?"
Henry nodded, leading the way there. Emma approached Regina carefully, giving her a look.
"I know. I'm concerned as well. We need to stay calm though so that he'll explain."
Emma nodded, though she was feeling anything but calm. She definitely wanted to know what was up with their surly teenage son. What kind of trouble was he in at school? Emma followed Regina into the dining room, sitting down with her at the table as they faced their son.
"Can you say something?" Henry asked, shifting uncomfortably. "You're being quiet and it's making me really nervous."
Regina smiled at him and nodded.
"We're going to go back to your problems at school in a moment. First, I'd like to get something out of the way: my relationship with your mother is none of your concern. Problems, or any lack thereof, between your mother and I are just that: between your mother and I. They are none of your business. And however 'normal' things appear between us has nothing to do with you, and you have no right to act out, even if you feel something isn't right. You don't get a say in our relationship and you certainly don't get to treat your mother as you have been. You don't know all the facts, Henry, and you'll stop acting out the way that you have been regarding something that is none of your business."
"But the fight affected me too."
"I know that and I apologise that I was locked in my room after our fight when I should have been tending to you. That did affect you and I'm sorry for that."
"You don't need to 'tend' to me. I'm not a little kid and I can take care of myself. But it affects me too to see my mom so upset and then see her just take the person back like nothing ever happened. I love ma, but she hurt you really bad. And I don't want you to hurt like that again."
"I know, Henry. Things are not like nothing ever happened between us. Your mother and I… it's complicated. We are still working through this difficult patch."
"But she's been spending the night and you guys have been hanging out like all the time."
"She hasn't been spending the night."
"But… she's here when I go to bed and she's up before we get up, making breakfast in her PJs and everything. We both know ma doesn't get up early enough in the morning to come make us food, not unless she's already here."
"I don't owe you any kind of explanation, but given that you witnessed shit you shouldn't have, I'm gonna explain once, and then you're going to drop this attitude.
"I'm here with your mom trying to make amends. I don't get up early unless I have a good reason to be, and being here for your mom, well, that's a damn good reason. And I'm here late to talk because your mom and I can only talk about things we don't want you hearing once you go to bed. That's why I'm here so late.
"We're trying to rebuild our relationship, but I leave every night and go back to my own place. Then I wake up early and I come here to make you guys breakfast. We aren't… we aren't anything yet. Your mom is still hurting and I'm still trying to sort my own shit out. But we're working on it, and maybe had you actually talked to us instead of sulking in your room, you'd know this."
"I wasn't sulking."
"You were pouting, moping around. That's sulking."
Before he could respond, Regina cut in.
"Now, what is this trouble you've been having at school?"
Henry hesitated. Looking between his mothers' expressions. Seeing nothing but open concern, and no traces of anger, he chewed on his lower lip.
"You're gonna be upset."
"Are you in trouble?"
"Not the kind you're thinking of."
"Is someone else in trouble?"
"No."
"Are you in danger?"
"No. Nothing like that."
"Then what is it?"
Henry hesitated before finally speaking.
"I'm failing Chemistry class."
Regina looked concerned, while Emma looked nothing but relieved. When her son frowned at her, Emma instantly shook her head.
"I'm sorry, kid. I just- it's just such a relief to hear it's just that. Because I thought you were gonna say that you were dealing drugs and got caught or like, stole something or shanked someone and now needed help."
Henry made a face like she was insane.
"I'm not a freaking mobster, ma."
"No, I know, kid. It's just… the shit I did. And you're half me. It freaks me out."
"I might be half you biologically. But I'm all her," he said, pointing to his mom. "Besides, I'm too scared of mom to do anything illegal."
Regina nodded in satisfaction.
"I'd skin you alive, darling," she said sweetly.
Henry nodded knowingly.
"And that was creepy," Emma said, turning to her son.
"We'll get you a tutor, kid. I sucked at sciences. And math. And languages. Basically anything that wasn't gym class. Unfortunately, no amount of nurture can help you with the crap genes you were handed. But, you're smarter than I was and you're a quick learner. We'll get someone to teach you what you need to know."
"Okay," Henry responded, though he was embarrassed that he even needed one.
"Don't be ashamed of asking for help, kid. We all need help sometimes. I'm getting help too from a professional about some things I can't figure out on my own. Sometimes we just need someone who has the skills we don't to teach us to develop them. And about the Chem class, you can learn the material with some help, and you will. You have your mom and me to help you along the way and we'll support you however we can. There's no shame in reaching out and getting help when you need it."
Henry nodded, feeling better hearing that his ma, who always seemed so brave and strong, was admitting that she too needed help.
"Anything else we should be concerned about?"
"No. That's pretty much it right now."
"Okay. If anything else comes up, I want you to talk about it, alright? But not the way you spoke to us earlier, that was seriously unacceptable."
"I know. I'm sorry, moms. I was wrong. I was just upset. I won't do it again."
You will¸ Regina thought, but that's part of growing up. But she appreciated the apology. Making mistakes and speaking out rashly was just part of being a teenager. And being part Emma too, Regina's mind supplied.
"You're forgiven, Henry."
"I'll go mow the lawn now, if that's cool?"
"That's definitely cool," Emma responded.
Henry made a face at her and shook his head.
"No, ma. Just, no. You're too old," his voice was light, but serious.
"Not old enough not to kick your ass," she threatened, getting up and chasing him as he ran off laughing.
Emma returned to the dining room, grinning proudly, her smile softening when she noticed Regina's look.
"What?" she asked, smile still in place.
"You're incredibly attractive when you're parenting our son."
"Yeah? Should I go get that doll and show you how I learnt to put a onesie on it too?" Emma said seductively, lowering herself onto one of the chairs and pulling Regina into her arms. "Because I warn you, my skills will have your panties dropping."
"The way they were earlier at your attempt to change a diaper?" Regina teased, then squealed in laughter as Emma began making snorting noises against her throat. "Stop it! You're such a child!"
"Not until you admit I have mad skills," Emma responded, sniffing exaggeratedly against Regina's ticklish spot in her neck.
Regina laughed, shoving at Emma's shoulders as she attempted to get away. Emma's fingers continued to lightly dance up and down her sides, only letting up once Regina gave in.
"Fine! Fine. You have mad skills."
"Yeah?" Emma asked, grinning as she pulled back.
"No. But I do appreciate the effort you put into your learning," Regina said sincerely, meeting Emma's gaze as she traced her cheek with her fingers. "Thank you."
"I'm in this too, baby. I have a lot to learn, but I'm trying."
"I know. And I hope you don't feel discouraged by my reaction earlier. I was simply teasing you. I enjoy teasing you."
"Believe me, I know that," Emma chuckled, turning her head to kiss Regina's fingertips. "You're allowed to tease. But it's a good thing you're as attractive as you are because there's no other way I'd put up with teasing that involves creepy fucking possessed dolls."
Regina laughed, resting her head against Emma's shoulder as she settled in her lap. Her eyes closed as Emma played with her fingers, bringing them up to her lips to kiss them once again.
"I can't believe we're going to have another one." Emma said aloud.
"I know. Still scared?"
"Terrified, but the book's telling me that's normal. I'm kinda getting… I'm kinda getting really excited too."
"Are you?"
Emma nodded, kissing Regina's forehead.
"I'm excited to go through this with you, to get to do it from start to finish together. We've been parenting Henry together for the last five years. We've had some ups and downs, but we've pretty much been on the same page when it comes to his well-being. We're good together, you know, as parents. We make a good team. And I'm excited to go through that journey with you all over again with this one," Emma finished softly, her hand coming to rest on Regina's abdomen.
Regina closed her eyes, a small smile on her lips. Her heart did a flip-flop when Emma nuzzled her throat, leaving a gentle kiss against the sensitive skin there.
"I am as well," Regina responded, and she found that she truly meant it.
A/N: The poll for the sex(es) of the baby(ies) is still up on my profile btw. There's a three-way tie going on currently, so if you haven't voted, feel free to go and try to break it up.