Chapter 20 - I'm Not as Perfect
I remember... the sound of waves gliding onto the pure white sand. The warmth that radiated down on the horizon of the crystal blue water at my feet. The brush of wind to my cheeks while I watched the endless horizon curve past my view. I wasn't alone, I remembered that I was with her.
Her hair a sky blue, tint of white, reaching down to her shoulders, a prominent cowlick flicking in the breeze; eyes the same shade of blue but contained wonder and kindness, and a smile, radiating like the sun.
In my hand was the neck of a guitar, aged but sturdy, the glossy face reflecting a smudged smile of my own.
"AHH, the light, it burns!" Yuki's immediate reaction was to block out the sunlight piercing through her window, the result was her body swaying sharply to her left, headbutting the ground as she lay upside-down.
For the longest time, she just sat there, head split by a ray of sunlight as both eyes adjusted, downcast as her right hand came to rest limply over her forehead. Today was fresh in her mind and had been since yesterday. Her stomach turned, and her heart rate increased with trepidation.
Outcome | Inconclusive | Negative Results
She tapped her forehead, squeezing her eyes shut. "Why... why is it never enough?" Like a stone her heart sank, despair and guilt festered at her core
Complete Control Required | Inconclusive Results | Negative Outcome
Groggily, she dragged herself back onto her bare feet, slumped as she made her way out of her room, and for the shower. In mere moments she was drenching her still tired body in water, her hair sticking to her face, covering her right eye. With her head placed back on the wall, she stared up at the showerhead, mindlessly thinking of ways to fix everything, to undo her mistakes, anything to make it right again.
A neverending chase for a solution beyond her control. And a programmed directive was slowly, methodically being rewritten as she allowed her body to take on the negative results, in a way it cost her the Festival atop her exserted use of SIVA.
*Knock-Knock*
"Breakfast is ready if you're done monologing mentally?" The stupidly accurate comment beyond the door broke Yuki's frown, her fingers creating a sudden click twice as a sign for 'Okay'. Little sounds and motions made for an unusual way of communicating with her Mom, but the two found it funny as it was their way of communicating, no one elses
Not long after, Yuki, with an old, black guitar case strapped to her back, set off on her own today. While the insistent worries of her Mom were comforting she knew she had work, and Yuki too insisted that she was fine to handle this alone. That was after leaving fast enough as to avoid her Mom's instincts at realizing how flimsy her lie was.
Strolling down streets alone was a reflective thing for Yuki. Isolation was her biggest fear but to be alone at times with SIVA going mute too, having the time to think back on her most recent events, how much had changed in her life since joining UA, making more friends outside of Izuku. Truth be told, she did often wonder how her old friends from way back were doing? Had Yuki been lost to their memory, she wouldn't blame them.
However, the idea of being alone soon flew from her grasp as she crossed the road, stopping to see Todoroki standing there, his mismatched eyes focused on her own. With a small wave, her eyes curved kindly, 'Hey there Todoroki, strange seeing you here?' "Then again, I have no idea where he lives..."
To her surprise, he wasn't too far off her own look. Both decided on a white t-shirt under a buttoned shirt, only hers was checkered blues while he remained a plain navy. Yuki wore a pair of jeans as he did, only hers were ripped at the knees, a strange but oddly breathable fashion choice. And to contrast, Todoroki wore black and white trainers while Yuki went with blue with white soles.
"Yuki," He greeted, herself falling into step with him as he noted the case on her back. "You play?"
She visibly twitched in his eye but he kept his mouth shut, 'Sometimes with Kyoka, sucks I can't sing but beggars can't be choosers' Yuki shrugged, hands behind her head as her mask's eyes flickered every-now-and-then
"So what's got you heading away from the shopping district?" He decided to ask first, watching her eyes narrow a moment before a note appeared magically between her fingers for him, but again, he noticed how she moved, somewhat rigid, and by force
'I'm visiting someone... nothing much' Vague, and his question had put her own edge. He wondered what could have her so mellow today? She had no problems prying into others' lives, being more outspoken for someone with her condition, but again, this wasn't the first time he's seen her like this when she was conflicted. 'What about you? I've never seen you come this way before?'
Todoroki faced forward again, the strangeness of her arrival was comforting, it felt he could talk more openly because of what she's done. "Because of you and Midoriya, I visited my mother," The words brought her eyes to his own slowly, and she soon pieced it all together, atleast the fine points
She watched as he held his hand up to inspect the bumps and ridges in his palm critically, "My conflicted logic cost me the Festival, but I understand now, what I need to achieve to become the hero I wanted to be long ago, that gave me the courage to see her again," It surprised him how much he was willing to share, but it felt natural, and her silence wasn't ignorance but clarity, that much he could read in her mask
'Family... is something to treasure don't regret it' Her note began as she handed it to him, keeping her hands in her pockets. 'Treasure who you do love, and don't ever let it go as I did' The line was scored through and his eyes traveled back to Yuki, the two of them at a crossroads
Now he realized where they were, the familiar street made his eyes widened slightly without the ability to hide it. He too walked this street no more than a few hours ago, and now, so was Yuki. Words imprinted on a page reflected in his mind, "'Meddling where you don't technically belong is the essence of a hero', isn't that what you told me?"
Ever since the Festival, he had pondered on their actions, what they meant, and how now they've helped shaped his outlook on life. His ambition to reject his father's power ultimately did more harm toward himself than the good or interpretation of good he used as his excuse.
"Yuki," His hand kept her shoulder from leaving, and he felt her subtle tremble but made no expression that he noticed, instead, he gave her a cool, earnest look. "What is it that's on your mind?"
Her eyes narrowed, cursing out SIVA for the slipups. Then she relaxed, keeping her eyes low to the ground as his hand remained firmly against her shoulder, and it felt comforting, had it been Izuku she'd have made the situation worse by trying to slip away, but with Todoroki it wasn't as though he was forcing her to spill, rather, he returned the very gesture she offered him.
'Shoto, can I trust you with something?' The note took his hand away, then he flipped without needing her to say so, and his surprise was somewhat visible. 'Something almost no one else knows?'
He thought he knew where she was going, now that road was foggy. Her actions had reversed, and he felt his own place where she once stood, helping him break the shell he had subconsciously trapped himself within. Doubtful of accepting her offer, he took the note in his hand and kept it safe with a steady nod.
"I thought I understood you but now I realize how perplexing you are," That atleast made her visibly happy. "Whatever it is you're thinking, I'll keep what you tell me between us." "I feel I'll learn more about you now then if I second-guessed my actions, just who are you, Yuki?"
Without another note or sign, Yuki led Todoroki along, her mind anxious but her steps no longer hesitating to take the next step, one that had grown increasingly harder with each passing month.
Todoroki kept himself a step behind her, the two entering the hospital, himself watching Yuki explained her arrival with sign language, something he never realized she could perform. And while the woman at the desk were dumbfounded by her arrival with Todoroki, they kept it professional and eventually allowed her through the halls, her pace steady.
Soon as she turned the corner she stumbled back as two hands held her upright before Todoroki could catch her. With an aged chuckle under a bushy beard, the man in a lab coat patted her shoulders. "You never could sit still, little one."
The Doctor was a middle-aged man with short, combed black hair and a short beard. His eyes light green underneath a pair of rounded glasses. Yuki blinked with surprise but relaxed as she shook his hand, both his holding onto her own graciously.
"I saw your fights, nearly had some of my colleges fall back off their chairs, haha! A brilliant display with - oh, and if it isn't young Todoroki," The Doctor turned to greet him, though Todoroki was unsure how to properly respond he did accept his handshake. "Surprising to see you both together, however, I do feel I understand, come-come, I'll take you to her."
Before Todoroki could ask a note was passed to him, 'He's looking after the person I'm here to see' And there was nothing. The whole time they walked she hadn't offered any idea say for his own curious guesses, and her eyes hadn't changed expression at all, remaining a solid color
"Your own improvements have been tremendous in my research, sadly I am still unable to properly and definitely come to a safe and concrete conclusion, it seems we are pressed to sit and wait for your Quirk," The Doctor was vague on purpose, yet Yuki appeared to completely understand, her fingers digging into her shirt. "I know it's been hard on you, but stay strong, someday I'm sure we'll find an answer."
The two came to the end of the hall, standing before a patient's door with Yuki's eyes dilated, hand gingerly placed over the handle. A visible look of sorrow rested on the Doctor's face, his hand ruffling Yuki's head for a moment to provide her some closure.
"I'll leave you two alone, duty calls I'm afraid," The Doctor left Yuki by the cold door, hand rested upon the handle shakily, hesitant. Todoroki stood behind her, watching her without a real word or way to understand her situation, him being here felt out of place, but she probably would have refused otherwise
He waited, seeing her eye the name by the door, his own flicked to the title, 'Nana Hiroshi'. "Did she know her? Was she a friend of hers?" He kept quiet as her hand finally opened the door, stepping inside with it held open for Todoroki, a note keeping him from entering
'Sorry for being vague, guess I'm starting to act like you were to me' She bowed her head, then let him pass while shutting the door, then he inspected this 'Nana' clearly. Hooked up to machines, her heart rate gently bleeped in the sunlight while Yuki strolled up to the bedside, hand tracing the edge with a misty look in her mask's eyes.
Slowly, his eyes widened, and he realized where she had brought him. The girl was younger than them both, long, light blue hair with a hint of white, and her soft, peachy skin, both identical to the masked girl now lifting the girl's hand tentatively. Then came another note, confirming his suspicions.
'Meet my little sister... the only family I have left, Nana Hiroshi, if you took off my mask you'd think she was a younger version of me' He tried not to crumple the note as he watched her pull off the guitar case, setting it on the floor. 'It's strange, I've never brought anyone I know to see her other than my Mom, and two others, not even Izuku knows the whole truth yet'
"Then why tell me?" He didn't feel it was his place to know, especially given all she's done for him, and still seemed to be trying to do. She shrugged, eyes curved sadly
'I guess I can confide in you first, you've known a life many are fortunate enough to have never crossed, your father did this to you, tried to make you a puppet for his ambitions, and you lost someone close to you that you want to reach out for again' She twirled her finger and he flipped the note, eyes still alarmed by her openness. 'I want to save my sister from my own mistake, I failed to do anything when she needed me, and... now I'm here, and she's lost'
Clutched in her hands was an old, string guitar, it looked worn by time, but the strings remained new while Yuki sat down, plucking the strings to methodically tune them. It hurt, every second her heart was aching and she felt she'd breakdown any moment, having a friend here helped keep her calm.
"You're going to play for her?" Todoroki tried to keep her mind at ease, and she nodded, then waved her hand back and forth
'My sister's better, and I mean, really good, but I learned from her when I still was... a late bloomer' Her hand brushed her sister's hair aside, then she brought it back. 'Thanks for coming here, It's... probably the only thing keeping me calm right now'
He sat down on a chair nearest the door, nodding. "You and Midoriya had me realize alot about myself, how long I've subconsciously played into my father's wishes," He held his left hand. "When I felt my fire unleash it... was purifying, for the briefest moment I was generally free, no worries, not a shred of doubt or fear clouded my mind, and I felt I won because of my own strength."
'Izuku has a way of prying into your past in the best of ways, he's the reason we're talking now, why I trust you with what I've shown you' This was true, she would never have considered the idea, taken up Todoroki's own offer if not for her friend, in a way, she was glad he wasn't here, otherwise she'd have never made it through the door
Soon, Yuki started to play, her fingers twitched at first, trying to play correctly before her eyes turned off, having shut them to follow as her sister would, hands together as she allowed her ghostly fingers to guide her along with the notes, carefully pulling together an artistic melody.
The days they spent, hours wasted together, playing, learning, singing with voices that had people enraptured, and while Yuki insisted she wasn't the reason and that, in fact, it was her sister's Quirk, she remembered what she always told Nana even to the last day they smiled together on that beach.
"Having a Quirk doesn't make you special, sure, you are gifted with a headstart, but only you can ever achieve the heights you yourself wish to climb, by hook or by crook, all that power is in you."
That still brought a silent chuff to Yuki, even as she played, even as... she watched her sister fall into that deep sleep where she remained to this very day. The song continued for her audience of two, but she was starting to crack.
"...I miss you..." Her fingers started to slip. "I miss you, Mom... Dad..." Tears were starting to break her dams with a fractured feeling dug with hooks in her chest
Todoroki sat in awe by the song played before him. It felt so sorrowful, but there was a hint of joy still played in each note. He remembered when, even as his father's cruel training left him miserable and in pain, his mother was there, comforting him and supporting him when he wished to be like All Might, to become a hero that saves people and nothing more. His lips curved up for a brief moment, then saw Yuki's form change.
She played the last notes somewhat horribly, forcing her fingers against the cords as tears slipped down her neck, a soft whimper rattled from the mask as she sunk her head. With a solemn sigh, he stood up, stepping over to rest a hand on her shoulder for her, and she placed the guitar in her lap, shifting her mask somewhat to place a hand over her actual face, body hunched over as she cried silently.
"...I love you, Nana... and I'll save you someday... I promise..." Her sobbing vow was flimsy, but if it cost Yuki her life, so be it
His eyes rested on the girl, a face at ease inside of a coma she might not wake from for a long time, yet here was her big sister, watching over her, still holding onto her memory. "I see now, why you are the person I saw a day ago, why you wanted to help me... now I see why you care for Midoriya, you value him as important as family."
Todoroki wasn't certain how long they stayed like this, his hand resting on the trembling girl's shoulder, but he didn't care, for what she's done for him, it was the least he could do for a friend.
To Be Continued...
And now we have more to Yuki's past, and that not all of her family has been taken from her. This also helped to build common ground for her and Todoroki and will continue to grow from there. I hope you enjoyed, seeya in the next chapter, Plus Ultra!
Next Chapter: The Perfect Friends
The second day of relaxation isn't so relaxing for Yuki. She decides to finally put her complete trust in some she calls her friends.