Chapter Six - "Unpack"

The grip of the Peacekeepers flanking me has me wanting to burst out of my skin.

"What type of stunt was that, huh?" hisses the PK on the left.

"What, you think you're the next Katniss Everdeen or somethin'?" snips the other on the right.

"Don't compare me to that stupid bitch!" I snap in reply, causing me to be restrained even further as I wring against their grasp. "Alright, you don't know me-!"

"Be quiet." snaps righty.

My chest feels like its being compressed by a snake mutt. No matter how much I try to adjust my position from the hunched position I'm currently held in, the two PKs only intensify their grip. I tell myself to calm down. Relax, they're not gonna hurt you. But it's the control I want. I'm just a girl while they're soldiers with guns, what can I possibly do to fight back?!

Oh Panem, the road is coming back its coming back!

I struggle against their grasp but no dice. In an attempt to escape from the current situation, and the memories that come with it, I instead focus on my surroundings.

In anticipation for my dream job as a political officer, the Academy would take trips here all the time. It was always full of people and tastefully decorated with portraits of the District throughout history, past mayors and other themes. I've seen the footage of the Defense of District 2. Main Street was an absolute mess and the Justice Building was in the eye of the storm. I can see it now with the burn marks, shell casings, bullet holes and the various barriers cordoning areas off as they attempt to rebuild. The portraits are gone and so are the civil servants. All that remains is an empty hollowness amplified by the clomping of Peacekeeper boots and their scratchy radio chatter.

They march us up to the third floor, which is marginally better than the previous two in terms of damage. One by one, the other tributes peel off into different rooms, leaving me to take the farthest one at the end of the hall.

As soon as we're in the parlor proper, I shriek, vigorously shrugging myself out of their grasp and stumbling as far away as I can get from them. I attach myself to a nearby pillar, chest heaving as I finally have control again. I couldn't take it anymore. Their grips reminding me of the way I was held to the pavement and...

"We need to check you for contraband." One of the PKs says to me evenly. They look at me as if I'm a madwoman, their weapons drawn as they begin striding towards me. "Don't make any sudden moves now..."

"I don't have...any contraband..." I pant, removing the combined dog tags of Mom, Dad Paulus and I from off my neck as I present it to them. "I have these and a promise ring..."

The Peacekeeper takes the tags in his hands and frowns deeply at me upon inspection of them.

"R-Rivendell...like the Rivendell family -?" he babbles, eyes squinting as he passes the tags over to his partner.

The same perplexed expression on his face, the second Peacekeeper slaps the first one on the chest. "Her Pa taught us. He's the toughest S-O-B I've ever met!"

"What are you doing here?" the first Peacekeeper asks, his tone incredulous. "This is no time to be imposing."

"Where is he?" asks the second Peacekeeper. "Your Pa? I doubt he gave you the green light for this..."

I ignore them. Feeling lightheaded, I seat myself on the nearest sofa, feeling marginally better than I did standing up. Here I am. I did it. It went smoother than I thought it'd go.

The door swings open, prompting the two Peacekeepers to snap to attention as Commandant Rudiger steps inside, Sergeant Major Hayes and Dr. Rhodes flanking her. They don't look too happy to see me. With a dismissive wave, the two Privates leave at once, closing the door and leaving the three of them to look down at me in disappointment.

"Zenobia, are you alright?" Dr. Rhodes asks.

Hayes shakes his head, snorting. "She won't be much longer..."

"Yea, 'm good..." I huff, waving them off. "Adrenaline leaving the body, it'll pass."

Hands on her hips, Rudiger bounds toward me. "Rivendell, what were you thinking?! Right now as we speak, I have Interior Department agents wanting to know everything about you!"

"Ma'am...being in the military is great n' all...but it isn't enough!" I say defensively, using my hands to convey my annoyance as I motion around. "It isn't enough to fix what happened. I couldn't live with myself if I aged out without trying to take up Paulus' mantle, to restore my family's name-!"

The Commandant sighs sharply, caressing her temples as she pivots toward the windows overlooking the square and then back to me. "Rivendell, I don't think you understand-"

Tears bursting from my eyes I say, "You said you'd support me, Ma'am-!"

"That was before the President changed the stipulations so drastically," she counters, her voice soothing instead of combative. "These are a punishment Games, Rivendell. There are no favorites this time around, only the lowest of the low. It'd be a waste to allow cadets into a Games like this."

"We just got off of a war, Rivendell," Hayes adds. "You had one more year to go before you graduated...There are plenty of opportunities to serve, to achieve excellence-"

"Everyone tells me that, but I don't see it," I say darkly. "'Service' won't make things better, revenge will. Especially now that they were reaped with me - the children of those bastards that...That killed-" I shake my head and cross my arms, not wanting to upset myself further than I already am by reciting what they did. "Just know that killing those rebels will be 'achieving excellence' to me."

Hayes frowns. "She hasn't even done the ACT..."

"Killing animals in the BCT and ICT are just the same as killing felons in the ACT. They're all one in the same." I say without skipping a beat. The way Hayes and Rudiger's faces light up in shock is enough to make me snort. I continue, "I'm a damaged girl with anger as big as Panem and nothing to lose. My family's dead, I've been exposed to these 'Rebels' - these animals and I hate them! I have more than enough fuel, enough reason, to keep me fighting."

"I won't lie in saying that your life as of late has been one big ACT," the Commandant relents. "But I doubt your intentions in these Games are anything but linear."

I don't quite understand. "Ma'am?"

"Your goal, I assume, is to kill your district partners and as much rebels as you can?"

"Yes-"

Rudiger cocks her brow. "Even if you die?"

"...Yes." I answer with a firm nod. "I'm not a fool. I know that we're going to be put through something we haven't seen before."

Like she said, this year The Capitol will be all about breaking the tributes down, a punishment Games where no one will be safe. If I die, who will I have left here? Randall and the rest of them will be fine without me. If I die in that arena, well, at least the Rivendell name ends in that fashion - me making good by owning up to my failure and getting revenge for Paulus, Mom and Dad at the same time.

"That's a shame," she replies with a sigh while turning her back towards me. "To lose such an exemplary cadet in such a spectacular fashion. I don't mean to offend, but I don't think your parents would support this, not this way."

I glance down at the hardwood floor. I never really gave my parents a second thought. Not even as I got up this morning and went AWOL. They were so gung-ho about Paulus being chosen, so why wouldn't they be happy that I decided to pick up the torch? I don't think they would be but they're not here anymore and too much change has been happening for that to matter right now.

"...But if they did, they'd want you to represent the Rivendell name to the best of your ability and beyond."

I glance upward, toward the Commandant whose glare seems to have softened a tad. So she does support me...

"Good luck, Zenobia. I mean that." She says. "I highly recommend you think about your upcoming actions. Two is about to be dragged through the mud as far as Games reputation goes. You're our diamond in the rough for the next few years."

With that, she turns and leaves, alongside Hayes, who eyes me before closing the door. Dr. Rhodes remains, sighing as she takes a seat next to me. I turn to meet her scientific gaze.

"This is what you really want?" she asks.

"Yes," I answer, placing my hands on my lap as I recline backward. "Chances are I'd just try again if I didn't get in this time...or next time."

"Try again? What do you mean by-?" I fix her a heavy look and her mouth forms a small 'o'. "Oh..."

"I can't take it anymore, Doctor," I say. "I gotta do it. Performing my PK duties wouldn't be enough to make good-"

"But killing and most likely dying will?" she counters with an unconvinced edge in her voice.

"Yes." I reply, more firmly this time. "I want this, I need this."

She stares at me for the longest while, before sighing sharply and cupping her hands as she stares straight ahead. "I said that I'd support you in any venture you decide and I will...albeit tentatively."

"'Tentatively'?" I repeat, watching as she rises to her feet and saunters toward the door. Her back facing me, she cranes her head to the side.

"Like the Ma'am says, you're a great cadet. But, you can be very very stubborn," She says with the slightest of grins. "From now, to The Capitol and then launch and beyond, really think about your actions. If not, well...you might not even last a day...let alone the first hour."

My brows furrow as I take in her words. The Doctor has been a treasure trove of decent advice. I'd be dumb to ignore her. I call for her to wait just as she slips through the door.

"Thank you, Doctor...for everything you've done for me." I say.

The Doctor grins sadly one last time before slipping through the open door and closing it behind her, leaving me to stare into space and relive the reaping until the door bursts open again. I rise to my feet, watching as my friends file into the room, their chests heaving as if they've ran five miles. The girls are on me within a blink of an eye, each of them hugging me.

"Zen, are you okay?" Bea asks as she draws away from me.

I nod. "Yea, I'm fine-"

"As soon as we saw you march down the aisle like nobody's business, we hailed an MP and floored it here." Callista says.

I shoot them a doubtful look. "You got an MP to drive you-?"

"The entire company was out looking for you!" Callista continues. "We nearly got PT'ed until we died, but we genuinely didn't know where to look for you...Until we saw the reaping footage, that is."

Domita shakes her head. "I couldn't believe my eyes...and I was right there watching it all, in person!"

Bea places a hand on my shoulder. "When I meant "other ways", I didn't mean this, Zen."

I shrug, lifting a hand to place over hers. "I know Bea, I'm sorry."

"Zen, even during a normal year, the Games aren't a cakewalk for us," she continues. "But now there are nearly a hundred tributes to contend with! I'm scared for you."

"I mean, technically you beat out most of the other tributes...Most." Garrison chimes in. "I'm almost certain that a good portion of the tributes this year have fought in the Rebellion be they D13 regulars or street fighters."

I smirk at him. "That makes killing them all the more satisfying."

"Shit..." Domita snorts, smiling from ear to ear. "She ain't backin' down."

"I for one think she's got this." Callista chimes. "You're smart, you're determined...The Capitol is going to love you."

"I ain't looking for their 'love'." I snip back.

This isn't about the Capitol and if they approve of me or not. They get their entertainment at the end of the day and I get my revenge. If you ask me, it's a fair trade.

Callista frowns at that but doesn't press the issue further as one of the PKs from before enters the room and warns us that we have to wrap it up soon. I find his tone and manner interesting. Just minutes ago I was being manhandled into this room and now he's calm. I just assume that because we're cadets - loyalists - and the fact that Dad trained him, he decided to cut me some slack.

"Guys..." I begin, eyeing the five of them individually. "I'm sorry to just cut and run...but I need to do this. It's the only way."

I take Bea by the hands, grinning sheepishly as she begins to tear up like the teddy bear that she is. "Bea-"

"You're welcome," she interjects, sniffling. "It's my job to care and you're giving me so much work to do!"

She gives me one of her famous hugs that I gingerly accept, pulling away so that I can face Domita, who crosses her arms and shakes her head with a coy grin on her lips.

"I guess I did act after all..." I say to her.

"Yea, n' now you're gonna go into that arena and show those Rebs how we roll." she replies. "I feel jittery for you."

She pulls me in for a hug. "Tell your ma I said goodbye and thank you?" I ask.

Domita gives me a lopsided nod. "Oh she knows. She told me to tell you what I just told you."

Callista on the other hand folds her arms and scrounges her lips as I turn to see her.

"Y'know, Rivendell, I've been jealous of you for a long time," she deadpans.

"Me too," I reply. It all started in ninth grade, Epsilon Company, when she was getting chummy with Randall...only for her to tell me she likes girls over boys both socially and romantically. The jealousy didn't peter out there, with grades and extracurricular activities serving as a battleground for our smarts and physical abilities right up until present day. We are each other's checks and balances.

"If there's anyone who could gauge your ability, it's me." she says, a playful grin emerging on her lips. "And I think you'll do great."

I grin in return, accepting the hug she pulls me into. "Thanks again, Callista."

Garrison has always been an awkward thing, so it's me who has to hug him. Even then, he's stiff as a District 12 tribute on Launch Day.

"Glad to see you've grown up a little, Forge," I say with a wry grin.

"War'll do that to you, I guess," Garrison shrugs, rubbing the back of his neck. "I too think that you have a high chance of survival despite the odds-"

"It's not the main goal, surviving," I say with a shrug. "I know what I'm getting myself into."

"What?" I crane my head over to a teary-eyed Bea. "What do you mean that's not your goal?! Why volunteer at all if you don't fight to win?"

"All I'm saying, Bea, is that the stakes are even higher this year." I offer with a deep frown as she begins to silently weep, Callista pulling her to her shoulder for support. "The Gamemakers won't pull punches."

I don't like seeing Bea cry, but it's true. There isn't much honor to be had in these Games, just pure unbridled punishment.

"That's very unpleasant to hear." He replies with a frown. "I'm sure dying one day in isn't a goal either. So, remember to go over past strategies. HG 50 would be a nice place to start. Also, try to study larger arenas like HG 73. I doubt that the arena this year will be open, bet on tons of nooks and crannies to hide out in. Use that to your advantage. It may be impossible...but it wouldn't hurt to try and be a grayman. The fewer eyes on you, the better I believe. Also, don't skimp out on survival. More tributes probably equal higher chances of hunger related death, as well as the elements and traps-"

Domita places a hand on his shoulder. "Garri, our girl is the jack of all trades...She's got this."

The PK enters again, prompting our heads to whip towards the door. "Alright Cadets, time to wrap this up."

On instinct alone, we all gather together for one last hug, the girls and I. Covering her eyes with her hands, I pull Bea in for an additional hug.

"I don't like this, Riv." she sniffles, her voice harsh. "I honestly don't."

It stings to hear her tone, but I ignore it, opting to caress her shoulders instead. "I'm sorry, Bea."

Giving her off to Callista, I make sure to hug Garrison one last time.

"Thank you, Garrison, for the sound advice," I say, a grin spreading across my lips. "You are a grade-a egghead."

"I don't like what you said about "survival not being the main goal"." he says as Domita takes him by the hand. "The odds are insurmountable, I know, but please reconsider and fight accordingly."

Offering lingering, tearful gazes, my friends exit leaving Randy and me alone once again. He hasn't said a word since entering and I've noticed. It makes sense that he be the last person I speak to before I head off into the unknown.

"This is actually happening..." Randy says aloud, sighing. "Shit...I feel so jittery."

"If you're jittery, then I don't know what I am." I reply, patting down the sofa as I take a seat. Sighing, Randy joins me. This time though, he keeps his distance.

You're among friends who love you for you. Those people, those gutless sacks of shit who hurt you, are dead.

Keeping Bea's words in mind, I close the distance between us. Randy won't hurt me, he'd never hurt me. He'd always ask permission or wait until I made the first move. He's been nothing but understanding since we reunited at school.

He'd be the perfect guy...For another, more deserving girl.

He frowns, beginning to shuffle away. "Zen..."

I clutch his wrist, stopping him. "It's okay. I'm sorry about the other day. I wanted it, I did, but you and I both know I'm messed up beyond repair. Maybe now you can get a girl who'll treat you better."

Holding each other's gaze, I take off the promise ring he gifted me months ago, only to watch as his expression falters. When I try to press it into his hands, he pushes mine away.

"Zen, no, what the hells? He shakes his head. "What're you doing?"

"You heard what they've been saying," I say, planting the ring firmly in his hand. "These Games are gonna be somethin' else. You really wanna be hung up on a girl like me?"

He replies by clutching my hands, taking the ring and fastening it back onto my finger.

"Why wouldn't I? You were hurt, Zenny," He replies. "We're all hurtin' right now. I may not like this but you think it's the way to go so...The only thing I can do is root for you."

No one seems to understand. Winning is the last thing on my mind. "Randy, I'm gonna die-!"

The PK enters once more. "Cadets...It's time."

We both launch to our feet, my heart racing as I shake my head. "I don't think I'll be getting out-"

He waves me off. "I don't wanna hear that shit. The Rivendells I know don't lay down n' quit when things get tough. Please try, please. Then you can come back and we can work on you becoming the same old Zenny who cracks jokes and loves the firing range and chilling out in the rec room...Then maybe, I could get that ring replaced with somethin' proper."

Without warning, he gently cups my cheeks and plants a kiss on my forehead before hugging me. The abrasion is there but I ignore it, deciding to hug him like it's the last time...because it very likely is.

"Goodbye, Randall." I murmur as we break apart. I can't get over the fact that he's been so good to me and I'm too messed up to return the same attention back to him.

He fixes me a firm look as he backs away toward the open door. "I'll see you later, Zen."

As Randy leaves, I catch the last glimpses of my friends before the door is shut and I'm left thinking about what will happen next. I know what I want to happen, but I can't help but wonder it'll be as easy as I think it should be.

Coming up Next...

"Miss! Miss! Miss!"

"Spitfire! Excuse me, Ms. Spitfire!"

As I leave the confines of the truck that brought us here, my head swivels from left to right, only to be met with the flashes of cameras and the shoving of microphones into my face. The reporters crowd both wings of the open space that leads into Two's central train station. "Miss! Miss! Miss!" they've been squawking for me ever since I left the confines of the Justice Building. On occasion they would try to speak to Rabe or Gibbs but the spotlight was on me squarely.