Chapter 5 – Try To Remember What Brought Us Together
"It seems the others watched the fireworks from the bar."
She tore off a piece of candyfloss, wondering at what point she would get sick from eating so much. Much to her astonishment, Itachi wanted to try every food stand to see what they had to offer. Each time, he would get a different snack (or drink, if he needed one) and it had to be something he had never tasted before. The logic in his actions pushed her into following his example (not including the candyfloss – she bought that because it tasted great).
"Would you like to join them?"
Looking up at the man by her side, Sakura debated the pros and cons of returning to the group. If she went back to them, chances were, she'd lose her temper with Sasuke and let all of hell break loose. She'd received several (sort of) apologetic texts from him, asking if she wanted him to meet with her alone. Too upset to reply, she'd ignored him and shoved her phone to the bottom of her bag. That way she couldn't feel it vibrating.
Sighing, she shook her head. Why should a disagreement between her and Sasuke affect the rest of the night for everyone else? Up until that point, she'd been having a great time with them all. Itachi's friends were great company, they weren't bitchy as hell and didn't make her feel shitty about herself. In fact, Deidara had even tried to defend her about her dieting, seemingly understanding.
No. No matter how angry or hurt she was, she wasn't going to let it ruin the rest of the night. She would shove it to the back of her mind.
"Sure. Where are they?"
"There is a bar near the centre of the park," he explained to her, pocketing his phone. "If I were to make an assumption based on the text I was sent: they have been there for a while."
She chuckled, popping another piece of candyfloss into her mouth. Gods, she loved the stuff. It was a must buy whenever she visited any kind of amusement park, fair or festival. "Who?"
"Yahiko-san." The name was said with a sigh. "His tolerance for alcohol is embarrassingly low, though Konan-san will no doubt force him to sober up before drinking more."
"You say that now – wait until Naruto's had a few drinks. He can't handle it."
"You drink?"
Eyeing him suspiciously for a moment, Sakura murmured, "Are you going to tell your dad if I say yes?"
He smirked, shaking his head. "What Sasuke gets up to in his spare time is his own business, so long as it does not affect his professional life."
Professional life? What was that supposed to mean? Asking Itachi for the information was surely a disaster waiting to happen, but Sakura couldn't help but grow uncertain. Sasuke hadn't mentioned much about what he wanted to do once school was over. All he'd ever told her was that it would be expected of him to join the family business, although now that Itachi was home, she wondered where that left him. Itachi was the heir, after all – the one who would inherit said company when Fugaku, the CEO, retired. What role would Sasuke have? She couldn't see him settling for anything that would prove he was inferior to his brother.
From what little she knew of the company, she knew that Uchiha Fugaku had invested in most businesses in and around Konoha – recently branching out further. That was how he met Mikoto, in fact. She had been a designer in the making and while she certainly hadn't come from a poor background, she'd found that she needed support and somebody to invest in her business of interior designs.
There was so much the company was involved with. So many backgrounds, so many charities. They didn't stick to one criteria, instead allowing anybody with a solid proposal to meet with the CEO. Hell, their university relied heavily on the Uchiha family as of late, as Fugaku had supplied them with the latest equipment, textbooks and technology, his investments in other companies coming in handy when it came to supporting the university.
Oh, was that why Itachi studied abroad instead of attending the university in Konoha? It made sense, she realised, watching him curiously. Having his father so involved in the university was bound to become a topic of controversy. Was Itachi getting straight As because his father funded most of the events, courses and whatever else? Was he given special treatment to keep Fugaku interested in them and willing to continue his funding? At some point, she would have to question him about it. Doing it at that moment in time didn't seem right, not after their disagreement earlier. The subject was possibly too sensitive.
"Oh? Is Sasuke-kun going into the family business, too?" she asked.
There was a pause, one where Itachi regarded her in muted surprise. "He didn't tell you?"
The sensation of her stomach dropping had Sakura frowning down at her candyfloss. She found she no longer had any appetite. "Why don't I like the sound of that response?" came her softly spoken question. She tried to laugh it off, but it came across as forced even to her. "You make it sound like it's a huge decision he's made."
"It was," he informed her. Coming to a standstill, he continued to watch her, his mouth opening briefly until he silenced himself. Frowning, he told her, "Sasuke should be the one who tells you-"
"Tells me what?" she couldn't help but demand.
"If he has not already told you, then I am assuming he is trying to find the best moment to."
Anxiety clawed at her heart. "Itachi-san, please. I need to know."
He sighed at that, his eyebrows knitting together. The look in his dark eyes was apologetic and she could see how against he was about sharing the information with her. "I would much rather you spoke with my brother, Sakura-san. It is not my place to share his plans."
"Plans that apparently don't involve me," Sakura murmured, hurt. "Right?"
"I don't know." The words seemed so foreign on his tongue, like he rarely answered questions in such a way.
Itachi was right. What she needed was to discuss her relationship's future with Sasuke. But it hurt that he didn't find it necessary to discuss their future together. Didn't his plans involve her? Was that why he was silent? Was that why he changed the conversation whenever she asked about what he was doing education-wise when the summer was over?
"Come," he murmured and she could tell from his sudden rigidness that he knew he'd crossed a line. What the hell had Sasuke meant when he said Itachi was hard to understand? So far, she liked to believe she hadn't struggled too much. "We should join the others."
Joining the others had been the best idea, Sakura thought with a grin, unable to stop her squeal as she was spun and pulled and pushed, her idiotic blond best friend stumbling even while he tried his best to keep control of her. Probably trying to apologise for ditching her or keeping Sasuke tied up with their war. However, like she'd said she would, she had bottled away all the negativity. It could wait.
Not being a fool, Sakura hadn't bothered trying to catch up with the others in terms of drinking – they were too far gone for her. But she was having fun finishing whatever was put in front of her, listening to the screeching of the karaoke singers who dared to take to the stage. Several times, Naruto had begged her to join him up there, plying her with more and more alcohol to change her mind.
"Please," he whined, yanking her closer. His hands were sweaty as hell – or were hers the ones that were sweaty? It didn't matter. There were sweatier people surrounding them, dancing just as wildly. "Just one song."
"I'm not making an idiot of myself," she slurred but then laughed as he saved her from a fall, reminding her of earlier that day at McDonald's. Similar to then, she was bent over backwards with him keeping a tight hold of her, only this time, the ends of her hair reached the floor and she was quickly pulled back up when somebody got too close, almost stepping on her hair. "Naruto-"
"That's the best part about it, though," came another whine, his words elongated to stress how important it was to him. His back bumped with someone else's, but he didn't seem to care, patting the person on the shoulder when they apologised profusely for their drunk friend. "We'll choose a fun song."
Like hell she was singing on the karaoke in front of so many people, in front of her new friends, in front of her boyfriend. Just thinking of how badly she could embarrass herself had her flushing red (though, she supposed, that could have been the alcohol).
There was no warning as Naruto lifted their arms, spinning her. "This is the fun Sakura-chan," he told her and grinned when she looked over her shoulder at him in confusion. "You can let your hair down without caring about him being embarrassed."
What? Her frown turned into more of a scowl and she turned around fully, stopping the dancing by pulling her hands free. "What the hell are you talking about?"
Naruto scratched at his red cheek before wiping his forehead. At least that answered the question of which one of them was sweating. "You don't do anything fun anymore because you're scared it'll embarrass Sasuke."
"That's not true-"
"Yeah, it is," he cut her off, somehow sobering up as his blue eyes bore into hers. "You used to love this stuff, Sakura-chan. Maybe not drinking because we were kids back then, but we always used to goof around."
She was growing up. That was all there was to it… right? Sakura glanced over her shoulder towards the table the group had chosen to sit at, offering both Sasuke and Itachi a smile when she noticed them looking her way. As expected of the Uchiha men: they didn't get involved in anything other than drinking, vehemently refusing to dance to the pop songs or take part in the karaoke. She wouldn't lie: they seemed arrogant as hell, seemed like they were so far above the rest of them.
Green eyes returned to blue. Did Naruto have a point? Had she changed her personality to adapt to the Uchiha family? She spent most of her time around their house or joining them on holidays, or going as Sasuke's plus one for dinner parties or whatever. Wasn't it only fitting that she behaved herself? Embarrassing them–
Embarrassing them.
He was right. She was always worried about being an embarrassment to them, not wanting to step out of line or give Fugaku any reason to demand they split. All she really had going in her favour were her grades and the scholarships. Her background, while it wasn't poor, was obviously of a lower class than theirs.
"Fine," she suddenly agreed despite the vicious beating her heart was taking at her realisation. "I'll sing with you." She was quick to interrupt his cheer with her hand covering his mouth, demanding, "After I've had more to drink."
Naruto didn't hesitate in dragging her back to the table and placing her in his previous seat, rushing off to the bar to demand refills for everyone.
"What's his problem?" questioned Sasuke, tearing his eyes away from their best friend.
"I told him I'll sing with him on the karaoke, but only after I'm drunk."
The look sent her way was disapproving, his dark eyebrows knitting together as Sasuke critically assessed the woman already on the karaoke, butchering a much loved anime song. Nobody other than Sasuke cared, she noticed, staring out at the jumping crowd who were singing along, none of them denying their secret love for the show. It was brave of her to get on stage and sing such a song, though and for that, Sakura couldn't help but admire her. Being an otaku was looked down upon by many. But she didn't care as she belted out the words.
"Lighten up, little brother," Itachi said, voice raising somewhat to be heard over the singing. He picked up his drink, sipping from it. "What is the harm in joining the fun?"
"Making an idiot of yourself," came his muttered response.
Taking her boyfriend by surprise, she glared at him, snapping, "Well this idiot is about to sign up. Have fun sitting in your corner, Sasuke-kun."
With that, she got up, pretending not to notice Itachi's smirk as he tried to hide it behind his glass. Naruto turned just as she reached him, his hands full with two separate trays of drinks: one filled with ordinary glasses and the other with shot glasses. Just the sight of them had dread filling her.
"This ought to do it," he said with a wicked grin, tipping his chin in a way that told her to go back to the table. "Cost me a fortune, so you're not backin' outta it."
Shit.
Head bowing in shame, she returned to the table she'd only just left – dramatically, too. Sasuke seemed unimpressed, but at the same time, expectant, his eyebrow raising like he was waiting for an apology of some sort. To spite him, Sakura sat beside him but didn't look his way, nodding seriously for Naruto to place her shots before her, giving her boyfriend a smile when his face dropped.
"You'll throw up-"
"Shots," Naruto yelled, covering Sasuke's words. He was waving the others back to the table, grinning when they immediately returned, each taking their rightful places and grabbing their first shot glass. "Oi, you two need to do it, too."
Sighing, Itachi sat forward, seemingly accepting his fate and ignoring Kisame's wicked grin. The giant of them all had a shot in each hand, the other placed strategically on the table before him and Sakura's eyes went wide as she caught onto what he was going to do. Surely he wouldn't? Even Ino paced herself with shots and the girl had built up a frightening tolerance.
Sasuke watched his brother in disbelief and in that moment, she could see him thinking over all that'd been drilled into his head. It had her letting go of her annoyance, as it truly wasn't his fault. At the end of the day, Fugaku was a bully. If his children didn't act in a certain way, then he made them feel worthless. Maybe having Itachi around would help Sasuke? Gods, she could only hope.
She smiled encouragingly, saying, "It's just one night." She leaned closer, kissing his cheek and smirking at the blush. "Let go, Sasuke-kun."
Uncertainly, with his eyes going between her and his brother, Sasuke nodded once and grabbed the shot glass. If she wasn't mistaken, it was his first ever. He'd only had two drinks that night, too. Hopefully, she would see a whole new version of her boyfriend, one whose personality wasn't squashed into a tiny box by his overbearing, controlling father.
"Go!"
The burn in the back of her throat had Sakura grimacing long enough to miss the flash of a camera. She slammed one glass to the table, looking up long enough to find that Kisame had already finished his three, Itachi shaking his head but unable to hide his smirk at his friend's antics.
"C'mon, Sakura-chan, Sasuke," Naruto pushed, holding his glass between her and Sasuke. Glancing at her boyfriend, she laughed at the disgusted expression. It was exactly how she felt about the taste. "Together!"
They gingerly clinked their glasses together, offering each other a solidarity, final glance, before downing the second shot. It was quickly followed by the third, wishing to get it out of the way and Sakura just barely held back the urge to retch, to bring it all back up. She accepted the lemonade handed to her by Sasuke, her smile shaky as she tried to mask the awful burn.
"I don't know how I feel about that," murmured Konan, hand pressed to her mouth, amber eyes wide. Honestly, she looked lost for a few seconds, other hand holding on Nagato, who was smiling at her response. "Naruto, what did you buy?"
His eyes went to the ceiling, expression thoughtful, but then he grinned and shrugged. "Dunno. I just asked for the strongest stuff because Sakura-chan won't sing with me unless she's drunk."
It certainly wouldn't be long, she thought. If anything, she needed to get it out of the way just in case she threw up. Shit, what did Ino say helped when she was drinking shots? She couldn't remember anything, other than, "Don't be a baby!" or "Have no fear!"
"Singing?" questioned Deidara and he reached behind him, yanking a plastic folder from beneath him. "There's one of these on all the tables."
There was a break between singers, Sakura suddenly noticed as the DJ addressed the crowd, turning the music up louder and drowning out the screaming of those still on the rides outside. The bass from the music felt as though it was pulsing through her body and she struggled to hear what the others were saying to one another, green eyes narrowing on their lips like she could suddenly lipread. Sasori was saying something to Deidara, his eyes rolling, but something about the evening had to be going right, because she could have sworn there was a ghost of a smile on his lips.
Naruto was on his feet and scanning the folder, yelling, "We have to sing somethin' fun. None of that serious shit."
She looked out at the large crowd, though was unable to make out any faces due to the dim lights. There were special effect lights flashing around the room, but never long enough for her buzzed mind to take much notice. It had her questioning what it was about drinking in clubs that Ino enjoyed so much. Was it the loud music? The inability to think? The bumping of strangers on the dance floor? The connection between everyone as they let loose?
"What about this?" Naruto was suddenly kneeling before her, pointing to a song. "We could kill this."
Hell no. She doubted she could even hold a note at that moment in time, never mind trying to keep up with someone like him. "I'm not rappin'," she slurred.
He pouted, but didn't let it keep him down. "This one, then!"
She blanched at just the sight of the title. "Uh, I don't think my voice can handle that."
"Sakura-chan, c'mon," whined Naruto, all but bouncing from foot to foot when he shot up out of his kneeling position. "You can't say no to them all."
She'd only said no to two of them. The first one because she knew of the song – it was literally titled Rap God and the speed the guy rapped at was insane. The other was… "No, seriously," she stressed and shook her head. "Do I look like I can sing rock songs?"
"No, but you look like a screamer-"
Itachi silenced Kisame's crude joke with a half-hearted glare, offering his younger brother an apologetic (but also a what-am-I-supposed-to-do-about-it) smile. Trying to take his mind off his joke, she took her boyfriend's hand, though her attention wasn't on him for long when the others began searching for a song for her and Naruto to sing.
"Do this one," Konan slurred, stumbling over her words as she shoved the list of songs onto Sakura's lap, finger almost covering the title completely. "She's an American singer."
Naruto's English was awful, though. He wouldn't have any fun singing it.
"That band's on here," suggested Sasuke, taking them all by surprise. "The one you used to love."
Used to? Sakura gripped the folder, barely holding back her grin as she found a whole page dedicated to them. There was no 'used to', she merely toned down her fan-girl tendencies around her boyfriend for fear of scaring him away, or reminding him of how she used to behave around him.
"I haven't heard them in a while," Itachi stated, his eyes fixed on the page.
"It's not too rocky, either," Naruto said with a grin.
"But they have 'rock' in their name," argued Yahiko. He looked to his girlfriend, then to his friend in confusion, pouting when they laughed at his expression. "Somebody explain?"
"Last Dance?"
She shook her head at Konan's recommendation.
"Wherever You Are?" suggested Nagato.
"Oi, I already said no serious shit," Naruto snapped, frowning. "I don't want her gettin' emotional up there, y'know."
"No Scared?" It was Sasuke who suggested the song, taking a sip of his drink.
"Too much English for Naruto," she retorted.
"Oi, I'm not too bad at it when I'm singin'," he stressed. "Hurry and choose!"
"Liar." She looked up at Itachi in surprise, his eyes already on her. "There is a balance between screaming and singing. It is also made up of Japanese and English, making it a good choice for you both."
Kisame rolled his eyes and fell back into his seat, laughing disbelievingly while rubbing a hand up and down his tattooed face. "Trust you to take it so seriously, Itachi-san."
They were up there way too fast for her liking and she had a horrible feeling that Naruto bribed the DJ for the spot.
What happened to being unable to see their faces due to all the lights on the stage? Sakura was unable to find her voice as the crowd stared up at her, already throwing their heads forward in time to the music as they recognised the song.
"Go, Sakura," she heard one of their friends yell, probably seeing her fright.
"What do you want from me?" Naruto's uneasy use of the English language had her wincing, wondering if the crowd would laugh at him for it, but they didn't. They didn't care.
Shit, it was her go. "Just let me breathe a little."
"What do you want to see?"
"What's in front of your eyes?"
Naruto was encouraging in his own way, his excitement and cheerful personality shining through with the way he bounced around the stage. There was no gradually gaining confidence as he already had it, uncaring whether or not he got the words wrong. He didn't even look at the screen other than to see when he was supposed to sing.
"What do you want to believe?"
"Still nothing can be settled."
"Hold onto your words," he sang, looking her way and grinning. The grin alone willed her to loosen up, to just enjoy herself. "You say, it's no good."
"What are you looking for?" Breathe, she begged of herself, trying to ignore the fact Deidara was kneeling on his seat, his phone up in the air, recording them. "What are you getting out of this?"
"It's one or the other! I still don't know what all this is." The blond by her side was nodding – no, throwing his head forward less enthusiastically than the audience, preparing himself to really go for it during the chorus. "Next to me, you're laughing…"
Thank the Gods, Sakura couldn't help but think, noticing the change of colour on the screen. It meant they were singing the chorus together.
"Hey liar, hey liar," she sang, though was drowned out by Naruto's screaming (for lack of better word). "What do you think of living without me?"
Loosen up, she begged herself, unable to deny she was getting stressed. The buzz from the alcohol was stronger than before, allowing her to ease into it, but she couldn't get the sight of the crowd out of her mind. Staring up at her, judging her. She was embarrassing herself.
"Hey liar, hey liar! What are the lies? Which is the truth?"
What the hell was she doing up there? Next to Naruto, she more than likely looked stiff. Out of place. Downright stupid.
"C'mon, Sakura-chan," Naruto said with a grin instead of singing the lines, throwing his arm over her shoulders. "We've got this. Nobody cares if we make idiots of ourselves."
She looked out at the crowd, who apparently hadn't even noticed they weren't singing the words, too caught up in rocking out to the song as it continued to play. Behind them all, she noticed their friends, their lips moving in time with the words and it warmed her heart that Sasuke was even singing along, head softly nodding in time with the beat. Was that encouragement?
"It's just like déjà vu again," her best friend sang, nodding at her to carry on.
"Trying so hard to know inside of you," Don't focus on them, she told herself, her eyes locked on Naruto's. "Staring in your eyes to feel, so that this feeling reaches you."
"I wish, but it's the opposite of my dream. So cold!"
"So cold."
His hand gave hers a squeeze for a brief moment, eyes shining brightly, enjoying that she was relaxing as they sang together, "Next to me, you're smiling…"
"Hey liar," Naruto yelled into the microphone, already bouncing to the other side of the stage, throwing his head forward.
Let go, she told herself and grinned, willing the alcohol to take control. "Hey liar!"
"This and that are already lies," they half-sang, half-yelled together. "I'm tired. So tired! What do you think of living without me?"
It was definitely more fun singing Naruto's way, Sakura decided, moving to the music. Forget about trying to stay in tune – she was probably doing even worse because of focusing so hard on it. "There's nothing left to bleed."
"There's nothing left to bleed," he sang louder, nodding at her to really go for it.
And she did, hold tightening on the microphone as she felt her face flushing red. "There's nothing left to bleed, my heart can't take this anymore!" Shit, her heart was racing. Was it adrenaline? Was it because she was shoving aside all worries? Sakura had to admit, she loved not caring. "There's nothing left to bleed."
"There's nothing left to bleed." Naruto was red in the face, his grin of approval so wide that it had her returning it without hesitation.
"There's nothing left to bleed," she surprised even herself by joining him in the screaming, watching him in awe as he stood tall, arms outstretched. "My heart can't take this anymore!"
Holy shit. Was he seriously about to–
Sakura's eyes went wide as Naruto dove onto the crowd, grin from ear to ear as they carried him. That idiot. She couldn't… They were going to drop him, right? Surely. Across the bar, she saw Sasuke watching her intently, all previous encouragement gone, his head shaking minutely, but the friends she'd made were sat behind him, yelling at her to go for it, to join Naruto in his craziness. But she couldn't. It would be way too much–
Behind his brother, Itachi nodded once, smirking, telling her with that expression alone to do whatever she wanted.
To hell with it. Even though her boyfriend was telling her not to, the freaking heir of the company was telling her to do it.
So she did it.
"Hey liar," Naruto somehow managed to carry on, his voice unsteady as he moved on the wave. "Hey liar!"
Grinning, Sakura dove in after him, belting out as best as she could, "What d'you think of living without me?"
They were closer to the group and she grinned at the crowd's loud cheering, their hands supportive as they guided her around the room. It didn't even bother her when she met Sasuke's eyes, his face stone cold.
She looked away, yelling, "Nee, liar, oh yeah, liar! The thing's we're stopping, is it meaningless?"
She was breathless when they returned to the stage, not surprised in the least when Naruto stole the show by ending the song dramatically.
"Who'd have thought you had it in you?" Kisame said, impressed as he clapped her on the back, unknowingly nearly sending her flying. Fortunately for her, Nagato steadied her.
"You should let go more often," Deidara agreed and offered her a drink. "Art is a bang, yeah. Like life." She frowned at that, confused, leading him to say, "It lasts for a moment. There's nothing great about spending forever trying for perfection – it's all about how it is in the moment."
She liked his view on art, strangely enough. Although Sasori clearly disagreed (what with his eye roll and muttering under his breath), she didn't. It'd felt… She couldn't think of the best word to use. Empowering? No. Like she was free? Definitely. Sure, it was only singing on stage, but it meant a lot to her.
The next singers were up, the slow song they'd chosen getting Yahiko out of his seat and he held his hand out to Konan, smiling when she didn't hesitate to take it. They were gone only seconds later, with him spinning her onto the dance floor. It had her watching them with barely restrained envy, because she wished, more than anything, that Sasuke would dance with her like that. Not because he had to, like he most often did at dinner parties, where he would sway to the music without really listening to the words, but living in the moment. Enjoying it all. She wanted to have fun with him and the realisation hurt, making her quickly finish the drink she was given.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him replying to whatever Itachi had said to him, his features twisting with a grimace when he glanced around the table. Itachi's response to that was the narrowing of his eyes and whatever he said while doing so, had Sasuke stiffening in his seat. Raising an eyebrow in silent question, she was rewarded with a minute shake of his head, which was followed by him returning to pushing Sasuke into something. Even with his back to her, Sakura could tell her boyfriend was getting pissed off with what was being said to him.
And then, without warning, he was grabbing the glass out of her hand and putting on the table, pulling her away from everyone.
But she surprised him by yanking her hand away, trying her best not to take notice of the group behind her.
"You want to dance, right?" he demanded, cheeks flushed.
There was no anger within her, she noted with surprise. Only disappointment. "Not if you don't want to dance with me."
"Don't want to-" Sasuke shook his head in disbelief, eyes refusing to meet anyone's behind her. Were they staring at them? He stepped closer, telling her, "I want to dance with you, Sakura. I just-" He cut himself off again and she was stunned when the lights briefly lit up his face, showing how hard he was blushing. "It was good seeing you let loose like that – not jumping into the crowd, but before that. When you were dancing and singing. But I can't-"
She took his hand, pulling him to the darker side of the dance floor where he would be most comfortable, grinning at his sigh. He needed coaxing out of his shell, too. The influence the Uchiha family had on her wasn't half as bad as how badly the sons were pushed. Her boyfriend needed to her to be patient, to help him.
Grinning, her arms slid around his neck and she closed the distance between them, moving with a gentle sway to the slow song. He had plenty of experience in slow dancing, she knew he did. But tonight, he was going to enjoy the dancing. He was going to enjoy the rest of the night because his damned father wasn't there to bully him.
"Nobody's watching us," she assured him, keeping his back to the other dancers. "If I can have fun singing and dancing on stage like that, you sure as hell can enjoy dancing with me here."
He nodded, breathing in deeply before taking the lead in the dancing. The intense look in his eyes had her smiling shyly, her heart hammering away in her chest. It was rare for Sasuke to let go – rare, as in, it never happened. Ever. Sure, he could go on spontaneous road trips or go to amusement park openings, but he never fully enjoyed the moment. He never let himself get lost in it. The fact he was willing to try for her made her night complete and for the time being, she let go of the hurt she felt earlier that night, pushing it to the back of her mind completely. Originally, she had wanted to yell at him for standing her up and making her look like an idiot, but it didn't matter in that moment. Not when he was holding her so closely, not when he spun her around before bringing her closer again, his eyes locked on hers.
Yell at him back at the hotel, she thought numbly.
It was around six in the morning when they returned to the hotel room, feet dragging behind those of the group who could still walk, whereas others were physically dragged through the halls.
The night was verging on epic – a night they would all remember for years to come, she was certain. Even Sasuke had admitted it was a good night, proving his point when he didn't let her leave the dance floor for a whole hour before allowing her to grab more drinks, quickly returning to dancing once they were finished. He even let her back on the karaoke with Naruto (though only after promising no more crowd surfing), followed by a turn with Deidara, followed by another with Konan. The drinking had certainly helped to ease some of her anger from earlier that night, as Sakura had never been an angry drunk. She was pretty mellow, choosing to see the best of bad situations. And as of that night, she was now someone who could let go after a certain number of drinks, proven by the crowd surfing she'd participated in.
Well, she was mellow and carefree, but only until she stopped drinking. After that… It became crushingly obvious why alcohol was labelled as a depressant.
"I'm gonna shower," she slurred, almost missing her bag in her attempt to make a swift exit.
Due to the state he'd gotten himself in, Nagato had offered his spare bed to Naruto, though Sakura had a sneaking suspicion the offer was only made after Itachi pushed him into it. A way to give her and Sasuke the chance to talk. Honestly, Sakura didn't have the energy for it. She wanted to shower and collapse in bed, just in time for the world to start spinning.
"Is that a good idea?" Sasuke called through the door, then knocked obnoxiously when he didn't get an answer. "Oi."
She dumped her overnight bag on what she'd thought was the counter, only to frown in confusion when it fell to the ground. Had it moved? Surely not? To try and prove to herself it hadn't, Sakura reached out, but let out an unladylike squawk when she missed and stumbled, almost crashing into the mirror.
"Stupid counter," she snarled, giving it a swift kick. "I'm tryin' to hold… you."
"Shower in the morning," came her boyfriend's insistent voice. "You're gonna hurt yourself."
He had a point, she supposed, but she smelled really bad after that night's excitement and they were going to be sharing a bed. They'd napped together before and had shared a sleeping bag while camping (with others in the same tent), but for the first time ever, she was sharing a real bed with Sasuke. Alone. She had to make sure she smelled good.
"I'm coming in if you don't answer me."
Oh, he sounded angry. Sakura debated staying silent, her stomach twisting with excitement at the thought of an angered Sasuke. It was when he was most passionate – unable to control himself or his emotions, often saying exactly what was on his mind, uncaring of the consequences.
"I'm so sad," she said with a laugh at her own expense. Shaking her head, Sakura dug through her bag until she found her deodorant, inwardly grimacing when she faced facts that she couldn't shower like she wanted to. "I'm coming," she yelled back to him. "Lemme take my makeup off."
It was a gruelling process, but one she knew she had to endure. Sleeping in her makeup made her feel gross, so even while the world was spinning and threatening to knock her on her ass, Sakura found the time to remove her makeup. She would rather that than risk her complexion getting bad.
"Clogged pores are a big, big, big problem," she told herself and leaned closer to the mirror, checking to make sure she didn't have any spots in the making.
"What?" Sasuke demanded. His words were almost as slurred as her own. "Get out here already."
Rolling her eyes, she did as she was told, though told him while passing him to the bed and placing down her bag, "I'm not your pet, y'know."
"My pet?" he repeated and stumbled after her, pulling his face. "What d'you mean?"
"You're always bossing me around."
"M'not."
"Are."
"M'not."
She couldn't help but grin at the confusion on his face. "Are!"
"How?"
He sat down on the end of what was supposed to be Naruto's bed, kicking off his jeans and placing his hands behind him when he found he needed help balancing. Pretending not to notice him in the slightest, Sakura spun around unsteadily and followed his example. Unlike him, however, who slept in a pair of shorts, she had actual pyjamas that consisted of three quarter length pants and a baggy shirt. At the time, they'd seemed like the best option considering she'd believed Naruto was sharing a room with them, but now she questioned whether or not they were the right choice. Maybe she should've gone with the short shorts?
"Controllin'," she mumbled and fell into bed, groaning when the spinning wouldn't stop. "Always bossin' me around. Y'know others notice?"
It looked like he was struggling with his socks, almost toppling over onto the floor in his attempt to remove them. "No, I don't."
"Do."
"Don't-" Sasuke cut himself off and threw her a glare. "Don't start that again." She grinned cheekily at him and he rolled his eyes, though was glad when he finally managed to get the socks off, sighing in relief. "I don't order you around – wait, who noticed? Was it that idiot Naruto?"
Please stop spinning. Please stop spinning. Please stop spinning.
She'd never gotten sick off alcohol before, but then again, Sakura had always made sure to stick to her limit for fear of getting so sick that her parents would find out about her drinking. Unfortunately, she hadn't stuck to that important rule. They'd been drinking for a solid five hours (seven for some of the group) and each time they felt themselves sobering up, they moved onto doubles and shots.
The sun was already rising, she noticed with a groan, however smiled gratefully when Sasuke leaned over, yanking the curtains shut. "Thanks."
Even though she'd been expecting it, Sakura still flinched when the bed dipped beside her, Sasuke throwing himself down heavily. For a moment, she hated him for it, her stomach flipping warningly, telling her to stop moving unless she wanted to see everything she'd eaten that night again.
Conversations from throughout the night replayed themselves in her mind, reminding Sakura that she had a task that needed completing. But was now the right time, she couldn't help but wonder. They were both pretty wasted, barely even able to move without being overwhelmed with the urge to throw up. Hell, she couldn't even look in his direction without feeling like everything was off balance. It was safer to keep as still as possible.
"Oi."
How romantic. Sakura shut her eyes with a sigh. "What?"
"Did 'tachi say anything?"
He said way too much, as far as she was concerned. She groaned inwardly, refraining from rubbing her face in frustration. No, Itachi had been making valid points. It was due to how real those points were that she'd been hurt by them. No, not hurt. Angered. Gods, they'd made her so damn angry. She and Sasuke weren't perfect, but they loved each other despite that.
…Even if he'd never actually said the words to her before.
No, there was a reason why he was still with her. Sasuke wouldn't waste his time on something meaningless – she had to look beneath his cold exterior, the mask he wore around others to keep them at arm's length because he thought he was some kind of stoic, badass anime character. Stupid boy. It didn't make him any less of a man admitting his feelings or being emotional. She wished, more than anything, that he could understand that. But he was brought up to cringe at the mere thought of opening up in such a so-called 'feminine' way, because Gods, only women and children cried – men weren't allowed to have emotions. Didn't anybody know that? It was a sign of being weak and nobody liked a weak man.
Stupid Fugaku. Bastard.
Sakura wasn't afraid to admit that she was emotional as hell. She cried when she was upset (sometimes when she was happy and angry, too). Yelled when she was angry. Jumped with joy and cheered when she was happy. Why? Because she was a freaking human being with emotions. Not some robot who had to stay in complete control one hundred percent of the time. Emotions were what made people human. It was what defined them. Damn it, it pissed her the hell off when she heard people berating guys for showing their vulnerability.
"Itachi-san?" she mumbled sleepily and debated how much energy it would take to get under the covers. Too much, she decided after tugging weakly for a couple of seconds. At least it prepared her for the morning when the heat hit. "What d'you mean?"
"He took you," he began, then paused, shaking his head. "I mean he was there when I let you down."
Oh. That. After refusing to talk about it all night (for fear of ruining the fun), the alcohol had placed it to the very back of her mind. "Not much," came her easy lie. Telling Sasuke the truth was too much drama for her to handle at that moment in time. He would go straight to his brother and attempt to beat the shit out of him. Key word there was attempt, she thought with a grin. "Took me on the big wheel. We ate. Drank. Found you guys. Now we're here and he's… wherever."
"Room one hundred and sixty-three with Kisame."
Fascinating. "I like Itachi-san," she told him. Risking to turn her head to the side, she was surprised to find Sasuke already looking at her, his bangs falling into his eyes. Smiling, Sakura brushed them out of the way, heart-warming when he leaned into her touch. "He's been really kind." When he wasn't being mean about their relationship and bursting her bubble. "And he got me to try new foods, even though it turned out we don't like some of 'em."
Quietly, almost so softly that she missed it entirely, Sasuke admitted to her, "I like that he likes you."
"Mm?"
"Aa."
When her eyes began to feel heavy, she shut them without hesitation, though refused to fall asleep. Instead, she found her mouth asking without her permission, "Where are you studying in the fall, Sasuke-kun?"
There was a long pause. Then… "That bastard." Oh, his liking of Itachi had suddenly changed. She reluctantly opened her eyes to find Sasuke glaring up at the ceiling, his hands clenched into fists. "He should've kept his mouth shut."
Like hell he was shoving the blame onto someone else, her sobering mind snapped. "No, you should've opened yours," came her angry retort, though her tiredness stole the impact of her words. "Why the hell am I hearing somethin' ominous like that from your brother? Why haven't you told me anything yourself, huh?"
"Ominous?" he repeated, eyes narrowing. Turning his head to the side, he regarded her silently for a moment before demanding, "What the hell did he say?"
Well, nothing, really. "It was the way he said it-"
"Not that bullshit again-"
"Oi, don't talk to me like that, Uchiha Sasuke." The drink had definitely made her braver. Just not brave enough to risk the chance of throwing up if she moved. She would have rather been discussing their future while sitting face to face. Not while collapsed in bed and in the process of sobering up. "It's obvious that whatever you're gonna do in fall, won't involve me or you're original plan."
"Which was?"
"Which was to…" Her voice trailed off. What exactly had been the original plan? Sakura was startled to admit that she didn't actually know what Sasuke wanted to do. Whenever she heard of 'the plan', it was always what Fugaku had said. Never her boyfriend's own words. She sighed. "I don't know."
"That's because nobody ever asks me," he muttered coldly and continued to glare at the ceiling. "They assume. Itachi is the first person to ask me what I wanted to do and it made me realise there's less doors open for me than I originally thought."
She'd never thought of it that way before. How could she have not realised her boyfriend was being forced to live a certain way? It was so obvious, too. The way he acted. Dressed. Communicated with others. It was all so similar to the way his father did those things.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
The pause in their conversation was long and awkward. For the duration of it, she tried to find the right words to ask him about his plans and whether they involved her, but there were none. In all that time, Sakura had truly believed that her boyfriend was the insensitive one, but it'd been her, too. It was her. Just as much as it was him.
"You have scholarships at different universities around the world," he muttered suddenly. "Universities offering to support you financially throughout the process of becoming a doctor. What do I have?" came his quiet demand and she heard his fists clench tighter. "I have a fund that my father controls. A few degree choices at one university. I have a company that I can be part of, but never run."
The realisation made her feel sicker than the alcohol. "…You're stuck in Konoha."
"And you want to travel."
That was what had been bothering him, she realised with a sickening feeling building in the pit of her stomach. It was like there was a hole there, one the size of Fugaku's fist, and everything was being sucked straight out of the hole.
"But Itachi-san travelled, too. You-"
"Itachi had scholarships because he was the perfect student," he said with deep contempt, upper lip curling. "He had the financial aid to prove our father wrong – I don't. I have always come second. To Itachi. To you-"
Woah. Was that why he'd grown so distant from her lately? Did he hold a grudge against her? Was there a growing hatred? "No, you haven't." Despite the horrendous dizziness, Sakura sat up and faced him with a frown, going as far as to grab his face when Sasuke refused to look at her. "You have never been second to me, Sasuke-kun. How can you say that when I have always put you first in everything I've ever done?"
"That's why I didn't say anything," he snapped angrily and tugged his face free of her hold. "I didn't want it to have any influence in your choices. You put me before your friends and family and even yourself."
And since coming to his decision, he'd been working hard to detach himself from her emotionally. That… "You're a bastard," she snarled at him, though refused to cry about it. "How the hell can you make that decision for me?"
"You-"
"No," she snapped. "Shut up and listen to me for once." Her words and her anger had him staring up at her in surprise until slowly, Sasuke also sat up, their faces inches apart. "I get what you tried to do for me, but you had no right, Sasuke-kun. I love you. You know I love you more than anything. My dream can be accomplished here, or Suna, or wherever, but the most important thing about accomplishing your goals, is having the people you love standing beside you when it all happens – so they can celebrate with you and support you. What's the harm in staying in Konoha with you, if it means I'm happy while achieving that goal?"
Dark eyes shut, his breath leaving him in a heavy sigh and Sakura inwardly cringed at the strong smell of shots. Gods, she was going to be sick if she wasn't careful. She was barely keeping everything down. "Some universities can offer you more-"
"But in the long run, I'll still be a doctor," Sakura said fiercely and her grip on the bed tightened as she tried her best to steady herself. "They may have better facilities, or programs in their hospitals for people like me, but who the hell cares, Sasuke-kun?"
"You care," he said with annoyance. "I care. You deserve the best. Don't deprive yourself of opportunities for some teenage romance."
The words knocked the breath out of her and she sat back, staring at him in disbelief, lips parting in shock. Had he really just labelled their relationship – their five year relationship – as something as petty as a teenage romance? How could he brush it off like that? Like it was some childish bit of nothing? Like the past five years meant nothing to him?
His eyes went wide, seemingly catching on. "I didn't-"
"It may be some teenage romance to you, but to me, it's everything. It's the past five years of my life. It's made me who I am, Sasuke-kun," Sakura told him, voice shaking under the immense hurt and rage swirling deep inside of her. Gods, she couldn't believe the anger she felt for him in that moment. "You've played a part in making me who I am today. We've achieved and done so much together – back before we even started going out."
"Sakura, I-"
"You are my life, Sasuke-kun. It's why I put up with so much of your bullshit. Because I love you and always have. I always will. If you can't see that – if your goals are that fucking important, more important than us or me-"
She was silenced by his lips descending on hers, his fingers tangling in the back of her hair, keeping her close to him. The kiss was just as chaotic as he was, filling her with mixed emotions as she kissed him back just as desperately. Grabbing at him, Sakura sighed, wondering why it had taken so long for him to show her such passion, her head tipping back when she had to part for air. Deciding a few seconds was long enough for her, Sasuke's lips returned to hers, moving insistently, demanding her full attention as he did his best to convey everything he was feeling through the kiss alone.
There was an apology. Understanding. Disbelief that they had both been so goddamn foolish. Most importantly, she could feel his love for her. The love that had spurred him to act to selflessly regarding her future and what it could've meant for them.
"Nothing," he told her between kisses, bringing her impossibly closer, "will ever be more important than this."
And that was why she dealt with so much of his bullshit. That was why she put up with the insensitive asshole he could be. It was because she knew he had feelings for her hidden beneath it all – he'd simply been taught not to show said feelings.
"Don't question your worth again."
She nodded quickly, hands tugging and pulling at him, an intense burning of her stomach being somewhat alleviated when he dragged her onto his lap, allowing her to straddle him. His hands gripped at her hips, fingers biting into her skin in a way that had her shivering with want. While they'd certainly made out in the past, it had never been as heated as it was in that moment, with them both nearly overwhelmed by their feelings, by their need to feel one another.
"If you want to study abroad, do it," he breathed, nose bumping against hers in their hurried kisses. "If you stay here, fine." She was glad she wasn't the only one panting for breath when they parted, his dark eyes burning into hers. "But know that this will never change regardless of what you choose."
Because he loved her. Because he only wanted the best for her.
"You're mine and I'm yours. We belong to each other."
"I love you," she whispered and took control of the next kiss, almost knocking him over.
A/N - Wow. Originally this chapter was only 3,000 words. It didn't have the club scene in it after I decided it was waaay too cliche, but I think I'm glad I kept it - with much needed rewriting, but still.
Thank you to those of you who wished me and the baby well. It's been difficult, HG is torturing me at the minute and it took so much excitement out of being pregnant, but today I kept a small meal down. I nearly cried, I was so happy. There's so many helpful groups with other women suffering with HG and it's really helped just reading their experiences.
Reviews:
DynamicCheetah: It's worse when you first wake up. You know when you're just dying to down a drink? If I try to do anything more than sip water every few minutes, it sets me off. I got a bit of break today, though. And no, go ahead! I love reading people's ideas and assumptions on how they think the story is going to go. Most of the time, it actually inspires me, even if it's not for the same story. And I'm actually writing a story of my own right now. I started it as part of my dissertation, but my tutor's convinced me to keep at it and get it published. So far, I'm halfway through it and thanks to his encouragement, have every intention of getting it published. On top of that, a friend of mine who works for a publisher suggested I change Saviour into my own story, though I'll admit it's harder than it sounds. And I'm just so happy with how it's turned out, so I'm leaning more on the keeping it as it is: fan fiction.
YuukiChanLove: No worries! And it'll work just like how they work in real life - it won't. And Itachi is definitely the more open of the two brothers in this story. I love updating as quickly as I can. There's nothing worse than going months without updating, because it usually means I have writers block and it makes me want to hit my head on a wall haha.
loveitasakuxx: Oh, he has his reasons. Don't worry, Sakura will claw it out of him at some point! And yeah, he got caught up with his arcade war against Naruto and forgot all about the time.
nebula mysteries: Sometimes, in relationships, you grow apart. After spending so long with one person, it's natural to sometimes start to question little things. Do they still find you attractive? Are you becoming predictable? Are they bored of you? Sometimes, it's one person being overly paranoid about a relationship that doesn't actually have any faults and that creates the faults they feared. The key to any relationship is communication, and as Sakura realised in this chapter, she is partly to blame in the breaking down of the relationship (you know, amongst all the hundreds of reason why it's not working haha), because she never actually asked Sasuke what he wanted. She assumed she already knew. Notice how he knew exactly what she wanted to do in terms of her future. You have to ask yourself: why didn't she know what he wanted to do?
Bsmiles123: All interesting paths to choose! This chapter tells you that he's trying to detach himself emotionally from her because he wants her to decide on her future without his own path influencing hers, as well as the stress of it all. BUT... Is there more to it? Hmmm.
AmaneHikariUchiha: Ah, but Sakura's realised she isn't communicating properly, either. While she's doing all the talking (about herself, proven by the fact he knows exactly what she wants to do), he doesn't talk enough. Is that because he can't get a word in? Or maybe she just doesn't listen to him when he does talk? Sasuke is pretty immature in this story, even Itachi told Sakura he doesn't think he's mature enough for the kind of relationship she wants/needs. Buuuut, that's what character development is for, right? And Naruto's role is more like the peacemaker. He knows they love each other in their unique ways and he knows it'd destroy them if they broke up, even if it was for the best. He's naive and just wants everyone to be happy.
silmaril: Oh, I learned that the hard way - trust me. I've managed to keep a meal down, so it's been a good day for me. I think there's good and bad days, and then the reeeeally bad days, you know? It's just finding what you can/can't handle. Like on my really bad days, I won't move from the bed unless it's a bathroom trip, but even they're rare because I'm not drinking/eating enough. The hospital changed my anti-sickness meds, though. Hopefully, it works.
Honestly, I was the same with SasuSaku. As much as I shipped them (and still do), I started to resent Sasuke's character. He's definitely redeemed himself somewhat, but because he's a main character with a personality that's set in stone (meaning, should I so much as contemplate changing it, the die hard fans wouldn't hesitate to gut me), it's harder to write him without making him out to be the villain. With Itachi or Shisui, it's easier because there's more freedom. Kishimoto didn't go into great detail, only gave us the basics. And I feel the exact same way about the childish Sakura. I prefer the person she grows to be. But like I said in another reply: that's what character development is for. In a later chapter, she actually goes into great detail as to why she puts up with his shit so much when she once again finds herself needing to defend him. And don't we all love some good ItaSaku? I think they're the go to shipping when you want a mixture of romance, angst and heartbreak.
Nana-Chan: Yeah, I either use the actual titles, or lyrics that I think fit the story. It's usually songs that inspire me as well. For Saviour, there were three songs in particular that inspired me: Still Worth Fighting For - My Darkest Days, Whispers in the Dark - Skillet and Stronger - Emphatic. All stories have playlists made for them, though I have to admit, RSOF's playlist is made up mostly of ONE OK ROCK songs, haha. So far, it consists of:
1. Liar - ONE OK ROCK
2. Last Dance - ONE OK ROCK
3. The Beginning - ONE OK ROCK
4. RE:make - ONE OK ROCK
5. Clock Strikes - ONE OK ROCK
6. All Mine - ONE OK ROCK
7. Wherever You Are - ONE OK ROCK
8. Be The Light - ONE OK ROCK
9. The Night We Met - Lord Huron
10. Happy Together - Miley Cyrus's version
11. How Long Will I Love You - Ellie Goulding
12. Toxic - Britney Spears
13. Going Under - Evanescence
14. Yeah Right - Joji
15. Falling Inside the Black - Skillet
16. One Million Bullets - Sia
17. Helium - Sia
18. Surprise Yourself - Jack Garratt
19. Unsteady - X Ambassadors
20. Rose - Anna Tsuchiya/Black Stones
21. A Little Pain - Olivia Lufkin/Trapnest
22. Kara no Kokoro - Anly
23. Hands to Myself - Selena Gomez
24. Lonely - Demi Lovato
25. Maps - Maroon 5.
Of course, this will probably change a lot throughout the duration of the story.
I wish I could tell you how and when Sakura will discover her feelings - wait, no I don't hahah. It could be soon, it could take a while. Who knows? I mean, I do, but still. And I know what you mean about Sakura never being wrong in her decisions/actions, as in the original version of this story, no matter what happened, I kept portraying her as some kind of saint, always having the others excusing her behaviour. I promise, I'm doing my best to make sure that doesn't happen.
DarkSecretKeeper: Oooh, that would've been so sweet, but perhaps a bit too soon for them.
Thank you to DiizGiirlJess, Yami no Emi, nerd94, Guest and Guest for your reviews!