Chapter 22 – Help, I Lost Myself

It was disgustingly uncomfortable.

Glancing up from her meal, she smiled to the woman opposite her with false cheeriness, pretending like the door in her mind wasn't rattling demandingly in response to the ache in her chest. Said ache only doubled whenever she looked up and saw how close they were sitting, how she looked to him with those wide, stunningly dark eyes.

So, he brought her. Again.

What did that mean? Did he actually like Kurotsuchi, despite all that he'd said to her? Despite the insinuations of merely using her as a cover up?

"I actually brought my portfolio with me," Kurotsuchi continued, answering Madara's question of what she did for a living. "It's the updated version – including Itachi and Sakura's photoshoot."

Interest piqued, she asked, "Could I take a look at it after? I haven't seen the photographs yet."

"Of course," she replied, smiling.

"You earn a living taking photographs," another source of her discomfort said, voice level but holding a tinge of condescension.

"Yep," Kurotsuchi responded bravely, raising a dark, challenging eyebrow. "Quite a generous living – and I'm just getting started. In a few years, I'll be earning more than quadruple of what I'm on right now."

Madara scoffed.

"I think it's amazing," Sakura said and she ignored the warning glances sent her way from members of the Uchiha family. They all knew how greatly Madara disliked her – not only that, but she knew not to get on his bad side. Kurotsuchi didn't, so she was excused from being rude. "And it was fun modelling for you, Kurotsuchi-san."

"It certainly beats sitting in an office," Itachi added when Kurotsuchi looked to him inquisitively. He continued to eat his meal, seemingly uncaring for the tension suffocating the rest of them.

Gods, she couldn't get a damn read on the guy. Did he actually like her or not? Did he like either of them, or was it one huge mind game for him? A way to get his kicks?

"Your children are ungrateful, Fugaku," muttered Madara disapprovingly.

"I know," came his own muttered reply.

Worriedly, Sakura looked to her boyfriend. He'd been on edge ever since they'd set off back to his home, unable to settle or control his rampaging emotions. For the better half of the day, he'd done his utmost to avoid the rest of his family, too ashamed of himself to face any of them (especially his mother). In fact, their dinner was the first time any of them had seen either of them since he struck her and it didn't surprise her in the least how nobody brought it up, instead brushing it under the rug. After all, it was what the whole of the Uchiha family did to Mikoto whenever Fugaku abused her. Why would she be any different?

"Ungrateful, or wise?" questioned Itachi and he met Madara's gaze unfalteringly. "Does anyone truly enjoy working up to fifteen hours a day, every day?"

That was… She finally looked at Itachi, heart clenching when their gazes met briefly. She'd always been aware of how much he worked, but to work pretty much every second he was awake? It was ridiculous. It'd kill him – the stress would kill him. And how selfish did that make her for forcing him into doing that photoshoot? How much work had he fallen behind on as a result?

"If it is too much for you to handle-"

Itachi smirked. "On the contrary, I find the whole concept dull and unnecessary."

Fugaku's eyes snapped to his. "Itachi-"

"Who wants to waste their life away in an office?" snorted Kurotsuchi and she reached forward for her glass, sipping at her wine. "Get out while you can, I say."

"No-one was asking you."

If she was stunned by the coldness of Madara's tone, she didn't show it, maintaining eye contact while placing down her glass. "I don't need permission to speak my mind."

Sakura swallowed. She wished she had an ounce of the confidence Kurotsuchi possessed. She wanted to be able to stand up against Madara and Fugaku and in some ways, her own damned boyfriend. But for the life of her, she couldn't. No matter how far her leaps in confidence took her, it all vanished when it came down to what really mattered. So what if she could wear skimpier dresses without feeling gross about herself? So what if she could get up on stage and sing and dance like a total idiot? What Sakura wanted, more than anything, was to be able to defend herself.

"Control your woman, Itachi," ordered Madara, his annoyance doubling. "Or are you finally inferior to your baby brother in something?"

Green eyes widened, her hand automatically seeking Sasuke's under the table and gripping it tightly, hoping it would pass on her wishes for him to remain silent. She wanted him to stay out of the argument. Getting involved when his temper was as bad as it was, would only lead to disaster and she didn't want to see him going against someone like Madara. It was terrifying enough when he argued with his father.

Itachi was much calmer than earlier, proven in the way he languidly met his uncle's eye, asking, "Only a weak man finds it necessary to control his partner, or refer to them as nothing more than an object."

She held her breath, eyes immediately going to Madara and the fact that there wasn't any specific emotion on his face did little to ease her already tightly wound nerves. Unknowingly, she gripped a tighter hold of her cutlery and Sasuke's hand, momentarily looking to him, begging of him to stay out of it.

Belatedly, Sakura realised he had referred to Kurotsuchi as his partner and couldn't deny the sinking feeling in her stomach, even though she had no right to feel such a way. After all, she'd told Itachi to move on. She'd basically shoved him straight into Kurotsuchi's arms and despite telling herself she had no right to know (nor should she care), she couldn't help but wonder if he had gone home with her the night before after she'd more or less broken up with him.

The fact that he was home the moment they returned meant little, as not everyone stuck around after having sex – or so she'd heard. Hell, he could have left moments after he'd slept with her, if that was what happened.

Hesitantly, Sakura looked back to Itachi, that sinking feeling in her gut increasing in intensity when she found he had already been looking her way.

"Hardly," argued Fugaku, continuing to eat the meal his wife had slaved over for hours. The food was amazing, there was no denying that, but Sakura found she didn't have the stomach to eat much, if any of it. "You are naïve if you think that way."

"How so?"

"Despite what so many like to believe, men and women are not on equal grounds. They are the inferior sex."

The hand holding hers tensed.

"If believing women are my equal makes me naïve, then I will happily remain naïve," stated Itachi offhandedly, like it didn't matter to him in the slightest. After finishing another mouthful of food, he added, "Women are not our slaves. They deserve and are capable of more than becoming housewives or broodmares."

Surprising her, Sasuke's thumb stroked the back of her knuckles and she released an inaudible sigh, relaxing somewhat. He was fighting for control, staying silent despite having so much to say and for that, she felt so incredibly proud of him, as Sakura knew it wasn't easy.

She only just caught the softening look in Mikoto's eye, the proud flash before it was replaced by cool indifference, refusing to allow Fugaku or Madara see that she agreed with her eldest child.

Just looking at the older woman filled Sakura with dread for multiple reasons. Mainly because she'd forgone the dress that'd been hanging in her room when she entered it earlier, waiting patiently for her to be obedient and put it on. Just the fact that it was a pure white dress had her leaving it there, for as beautiful as it was, it was a colour that stood for purity and as of late, there'd been nothing pure about her.

No, instead, she'd scoured through her wardrobes (both at the Uchiha Manor and at her own home) until she came across something that caused her to pause, contemplating the symbolism behind her choice of outfit. Rather than white, she'd gone with red and rather than go all out against the patriarchy, Sakura had forgone short dresses and plunging necklines. Instead, she'd chosen a jumpsuit, the top half covered in lace, the belt knotted neatly on her waist accentuating the flare of her hips.

Red was the colour of passion. It symbolised danger. To stop.

If only she actually had the confidence to back the statement up, rather than relying on symbolism to get her point across.

"You sound ridiculous," laughed Madara.

"I don't know," Kurotsuchi replied with a lilt to her voice, unknowingly making the hairs on the back of Sakura's neck stand on end. "There's nothing more attractive than a man who respects you."

"The same could be said about a woman who knows their place."

"You-"

"Would anyone like more wine? Or sake?" asked Mikoto politely, already standing to begin pouring.

Weakly, Sakura held out her own glass, meeting the woman's eye and much to her horror, she saw a reflection of her own fear mirrored there.

"Thank you, Mikoto-san."

"Take note," Madara muttered, watching closely as Mikoto retreated and sat down once more. "While this one still has much to learn, Sasuke appears to have her mostly under control."

She held her breath when Sasuke pulled his hand free of hers, fists already clenched when he moved to grab his cutlery once more to try and distract himself.

Kurotsuchi appeared outraged, gaze snapping to hers, no doubt wondering why the hell she wouldn't say anything in her own defence.

It was meekly that Sakura focused on her wine glass, sipping carefully.

"Although trash, she may finally become useful."

"Trash?" snapped Kurotsuchi, voice going up an octave, ignoring the others.

Her hold on her glass tightened considerably, body tensing with a mixture of fear and anger and by her side, her boyfriend was no different, his dark eyes burning holes into his uncle's head.

"What did you just say?" demanded Sasuke quietly. He didn't seem to notice the appreciative look thrown his way by Kurotsuchi, the woman no doubt glad someone was standing up for her, since she apparently couldn't do it for herself.

"Oh?"

His grip on the cutlery intensified and part of her wondered if Sasuke was going to throw them at his uncle. She hoped his aim was good. "What did you call her?"

The smirk stretching across his lips was lazy and uncaring. "Trash." Ignoring Fugaku's ask of them moving on in the conversation and ignoring Mikoto's fearful expression as she begged Madara to pay her son no mind, he grinned wickedly, asking, "Don't you agree?"

Itachi was on his feet the moment Sasuke stood up, glancing to her thankfully when she also stood and grabbed her boyfriend's arm.

"Don't rise to it, Sasuke," he muttered, coming to stand in front of him. "Please."

But like earlier that day – like always – his anger was getting the best of him and it was quickly growing apparent that the only thing stopping him from lunging at the man was his brother standing in the way.

"He called her trash," he snarled. "Sakura's worth more than anyone in this damned family."

Her heart skipped a beat, wide eyes fixed on his back and in her moment of shock, she dropped her hand from his arm, leaving it to hang uselessly by her side.

"Father might be okay letting Madara talk shit about Mother, but like hell I'm going to follow in his footsteps."

Something flashed in Itachi's eyes. "Sasuke-"

"Finally," Madara said and stood to his full height, wiping his hands on a napkin and tossing it carelessly to the table. She held her breath as he made his way around the table, shooting Fugaku a warning glare when he moved to stop him in his approach on his sons. "Are you finally finding a backbone?"

Itachi turned, blocking the way to Sasuke as he stared his uncle down. "Stand down, Madara."

"Are you ordering me around, you brat?"

"Madara," warned Fugaku, also standing.

"Think of it as more of a warning," Itachi spoke calmly and to show Madara that he didn't show him as a threat, he turned, making Sakura's eyes widen fractionally when their gazes met and she saw the anger building. His patience was growing dangerously thin. She could see it so clearly that it scared her. "I will say this once: enough."

But that only seemed to provoke him further. "Are you defending the whore-"

Swiftly – so goddamn swiftly that she barely saw a thing – Itachi caught Sasuke's fist as it flew towards their uncle, their dark eyes clashing and she took a step back in response, wanting nothing more than to be out of that damned house.

"Don't."

"Itachi-"

"You don't want to go up against me," Madara muttered darkly.

She didn't look away from the three men, paying no mind to the others as they stood and moved closer, trying to diffuse the situation.

"Don't call her a whore," he snarled in response, struggling against Itachi's hold.

"Why? Can't you face the truth?" questioned Madara with a smirk that set her on edge, especially when he looked to her. "Can't you see the spectacle she makes of herself, parading around-"

"Enough," warned Itachi, glaring over his shoulder.

Don't cry.

Weakly, she reached out, fingertips grazing Sasuke's blazer.

"Sasuke-kun…"

"Stay out of this, Haruno," warned Fugaku.

"Please stop," begged Mikoto.

Stop freaking out, she begged of herself. Be strong for him.

"Dressed and acting like a whore at your own party, letting another boy touch her in front of your guests-"

There was no-one to stop Itachi's punch like there had been Sasuke's and she saw the way her boyfriend flinched when Madara was knocked back several steps, his nose immediately busting open. In response to the sudden violence, she squeaked, hand coming to her mouth, eyes wide and behind her, she heard Mikoto gasp in shock, could feel Fugaku's in the air around them, but what got her most was that there was someone staring at her intensely, their gaze boring into her back and Sakura had a strong suspicion that it was Kurotsuchi, although she didn't check.

"I warned you," Itachi muttered, voice low and he straightened, fist unclenching by his side. "Enough."

"Itachi-"

"Stay out of this, Fugaku," ordered Madara as he stood to his full height once more, wiping at his nose. Anger flashed through his eyes, accompanied by something so dark she couldn't even place what it was, as he set his cold gaze on his oldest nephew. "You-"

"Leave him alone," Sasuke snapped suddenly, making her heart clench with fear when he moved to stand beside his brother. "You've made your point."

"You will both come to regret this," Madara warned them in a way that had her spine trickling with dread. "Once the trash has been taken out-"

"Leave."

They were all stunned by her involvement, so much so that Sakura spun on her heel, green eyes wide as she looked to the woman who was finally standing her ground, albeit shakily. Her hands were gripping hold of the table, dark eyes tight with fear but features otherwise stoic. Her overall body language screamed that she was terrified, but the fact that she was coming to her defence, despite the fact that her husband was glaring at her…

Sakura looked to Madara from over her shoulder, swallowing hard at his expression.

"You heard her," she spoke up, shoving aside her fear. How could she not feel somewhat safe when she had both Sasuke and Itachi standing between them, glaring hatefully at their uncle, refusing to let him so much as meet her eye? "Mikoto-san wants you out of her house."

"This is absurd-" Fugaku began, but much to her absolute surprise, he was no longer allowed to be the one in control, for Madara stripped him of it effortlessly.

"As I already said: you will all come to regret this," he assured them, smirking unnervingly as he moved to walk by them and as he looked down on her, Sasuke stepped to the side, blocking his view, head tilting back ever so slightly since his uncle had the height advantage. "You are a fool for trusting a girl like her, boy."

Warily, as he turned, Sakura looked to Itachi, heart thundering in her chest as she entertained the idea of Madara knowing what happened between them, but he shook his head minutely, telling her without words that it wasn't possible.

But was it? He hadn't even been at Sasuke's party, yet he knew about her karaoke session with Naruto. He knew that he'd spanked her in front of everyone.

It wasn't until Madara stalked out of the room that Sakura stepped around the two brothers until she was standing in front of Itachi, saying to him, "We should probably get some ice for your hand."

"It's not-"

"Don't act tough," she said with a roll of her eyes, bravely grabbing the hand and holding it up between them, even giving it a wave so that others could see the red knuckles (even though it seemed to be more Madara's blood than anything). "It looks sore."

He merely nodded.

"Sasuke-kun, please could you go to one of the bathrooms and grab a first aid kit? There should be some ice wraps in there." Grossly unnecessary, but that hardly mattered. "We'll meet you in the kitchen."

As soon as he nodded and left, she grabbed Itachi's arm, tugging him along behind her.

She pretended not to notice Kurotsuchi's look of realisation.

"This is unnecessary."

"I know," murmured Sakura, rooting through the too large freezer to find a meagre bag of ice. The closest she got was thrice the size of Itachi's hand, so she instead tore it open and grabbed several cubes, wrapping them in a clean tea towel. "But…"

He was already watching her when she turned and in response, her gaze dropped to the makeshift ice pack. "But?"

"It doesn't matter," she said with a shake of her head and approached him once more, attempting to pass the pack over. "Here, put this on your hand."

What was she even thinking? To put it bluntly: she wasn't. She wasn't thinking whatsoever. Impulse had her overreacting to the punch and claiming his hand needed ice on it just so they could talk.

"How does Ma-"

"I refuse."

Wait, what? He refused to put the icepack on? Refused answer her question of how Madara knew so much?

No. It had nothing to do with what she'd been about to say or the icepack, Sakura realised as she looked up at him from beneath her lashes, heart stuttering at the intense look in his eyes.

She was still mad at him. Unbelievably, heartbreakingly mad at him for what he'd said, knowing how it would upset his brother – her boyfriend, she stressed in her mind. He knew that it would cause a reaction, but Sakura wasn't so foolish as to believe Itachi was incapable of getting caught in the moment. In fact, she knew personally that he often fell prey to it. Why would it be impossible for him to get angry, too? The punch he'd thrown minutes ago was solid proof of that.

Obviously, he cared for her. How deep those feelings went was unclear to her and part of Sakura never wanted to find out, even if that was incredibly selfish of her. No matter how deep or superficial they were, it angered him to see her being struck, especially knowing how badly Sasuke could explode at the best of times.

"I refuse to move on," he reiterated, voice low, wary of someone overhearing. She barely even heard him herself and Sakura bit her lip, averting her eyes to the icepack once more. If she didn't look at him, maybe she'd miss the rest of whatever he would no doubt say?

"Use this," she said with more volume, gingerly taking his wrist, pressing the pack to his knuckles with more care than what was needed.

"Sakura-"

She shook her head, voice also lowering to the same level as his had been. "Don't say things like that when you've brought another woman to eat dinner with your family."

"I-"

"We can't talk about this here," she interrupted him firmly, meeting his gaze again. "But… I will talk to you. Tonight."

Deciding they were too close should anyone enter the kitchen and acutely aware of the fact her boyfriend would be returning at some point, Sakura stepped away, grimacing when Itachi caught her wrist, his hold gentle. It was ridiculous, she told herself, how his touch burned her to the core. Something as simple as holding onto her wrist shouldn't cause such a fire to roar to life within her.

"Where?"

"I'll text you," she said, pulling her wrist free.

There was so much she wanted to tell him, so much she wanted his advice on, but… Could she even do that anymore? Could she confide in him like she used to, or would it be weird due to their feelings for one another? Gods, what was she supposed to do? What was she even doing?

Sasuke already felt awful. He knew she was attracted to Itachi – or had been during the photoshoot. To agree to meet with him behind his back was disgusting, wasn't it? Shit, why had she done it? Why was her traitorous heart pounding away in her chest at the thought of having a moment alone with Itachi?

"This is all I could find," Sasuke was already saying while he opened the door, glaring down at the box. "I don't think it has those ice wraps."

No, she wouldn't have thought it would. They would need to be kept somewhere cold, not in a box kept in the bathroom.

"It should be okay with this," she assured him with a smile. "Doesn't look like it did too much damage. Not even a graze." Looking to Itachi, she added, "Keep that on."

"Understood."

"Why?" demanded Sasuke after a moment of pause and he tossed the first aid box on the marble island, eyebrows mashing together. "Why are you allowed to punch him but I can't?"

Itachi sighed at that, leaning back against the counter she was already stood next to and it had her inwardly grimacing. Was she supposed to move away? Move closer to Sasuke? Try and find some kind of neutral space? Was that even a possibility? Was she overthinking it?

"Madara is not someone you want to get on the wrong side of," he told his brother, turning his gaze to the hand hidden beneath the icepack. "I don't want you to make an enemy of him."

"But you can?" he snapped angrily.

Was his pride bruised? Sakura looked to her boyfriend with a frown, one that only deepened as she realised that yes, it definitely was. He wanted to be the one who came to her defence in such an explosive manner. He wanted to be the one who made a point. Similar to the times before, Sasuke had wanted to make it obvious that Sakura was his, therefore it should be him who defended her.

"I can handle myself-"

"So can I-"

"You're both idiots," Sakura yelled, exploding with her sudden burst of anger, taking them all by surprise. She didn't let her surprise hold her back from saying more, however. "Why the hell does it have to resort to violence? What's wrong with walking the hell away?"

"You're one to talk," Sasuke argued with annoyance, turning his glare on her. "Your fight with-"

"Don't you dare," she muttered warningly and pretended not to notice Itachi's shock. Was he shocked that she was standing up for herself? Was he shocked that Sasuke had turned on her so quickly after being so willing to throw everything away to defend her moments before? It didn't matter. "Don't bring her up to score points, Sasuke-kun."

The glare lessened until it disappeared altogether, like his anger had been snuffed out by her own that was rapidly growing, threatening to overshadow his. "Sakura-"

No. No. She was too angry. It was still heart wrenchingly raw what she'd discovered and having him bring Ino and their fight up to try and win himself points in their argument… It rubbed her the wrong way. Whether he meant to or not didn't matter in that moment. All that mattered was that he'd done it, knowing exactly how hurt she was. It was like he was shitting on how hard she was struggling to forgive and forget.

"I need five minutes to myself," she told him seriously, shrugging out of his hold. "Don't follow me."

If he did, she would say something she didn't entirely mean. She would explode and scream and cry and she couldn't deal with it anymore.

But the Gods didn't want her to have a break, it seemed, because as soon as she flopped back onto the loungers next to the pool, glaring tearfully at the night sky, another was approaching her with a stance that screamed defensive, making her whimper to herself.

"What the hell are you both playing at?"

Reluctantly, she sat up, facing the older woman as Kurotsuchi came to a stop a few feet from her.

Gods, she didn't want to fight anymore. She wanted everything to go back to being normal. She wanted one freaking day where she wasn't fighting with someone. Lately, it was all she did, like she couldn't catch a break, like no matter what the hell she did or tried to do didn't matter, because it was going to piss someone, somewhere, off.

When she failed to answer, Kurotsuchi lost some of her anger, her brows coming together, "The chemistry between you both… It wasn't fake, was it?"

Was it even possible to fake chemistry? Either the couple in question had it or they didn't.

Slowly, weakly, she shook her head.

"What the hell am I doing here?" she demanded quietly. "Are you both playing me too?"

"No, I-" Words failed her and Sakura frowned, begging herself to stay strong. She couldn't cry. She had to stop crying. "I didn't know Itachi asked you out, I swear."

"Why did he?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "But I told him to move on."

Sceptically, Kurotsuchi looked down on her. "Even if he does, there's still the issue of you."

"Me?"

"What's the point in Itachi moving on if you can't?"

"I…"

The older woman took a step back, narrowing her eyes on her and in that moment, Sakura felt tiny. She felt like a bug. Completely insignificant.

"I will send you both your photographs and you'll be paid by the end of the week," she muttered. "But do me a favour and never contact me again."

"Kurotsuchi-san, I'm really sorry."

"Save it," Kurotsuchi snapped, stunning her with the intensity of her anger. "Do you know how humiliating it is to be used by a guy? To think they're genuinely interested in you when in actuality, they're using you as a goddamn cover up?"

So she wasn't the only one to suspect such a thing. Sakura took a step forward, features pleading as she told her, "Please. I really am sorry, Kurotsuchi-san."

The glare lessened somewhat once more and for a second, sincere concern shot through her expression. "Just… Get out while you can. After what I saw tonight, I can see that no matter what path you take, there's never going to be a happy ending in this family for you."

Yes, she knew that already. They both had terrifying streaks of anger, but Itachi's was… It was scarier due to how much it took to push him over the edge and how well he could hide the impending outburst, whereas Sasuke easily exploded over the smallest of things, making him kind of predictable. She was growing used to her boyfriend's bad moods, but Itachi's were still relatively new. It wasn't until recently that she discovered he could get just as violent as her boyfriend. He simply hid it better.

Sighing, she added, "Take care of yourself, Sakura."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah," she said and turned, walking away. "Me too."

When Sasuke returned her home, Sakura had been pleasantly surprised to find that not only was her car fixed, but her parents were in a much better mood with her. The insurance company had apparently rejected the CCTV footage given to them, but the claim went through due to the car opposite her own providing footage from their dash cam. They won the case and all costs had been covered. There was also an investigating in place at the company she'd worked for.

Sitting back in her seat, she waited, watching as Itachi made his way over to the car. She was picking him up from an alleged run, waiting one house down from the Uchiha Manor (meaning there were roughly four acres of land to run). Once he was in, she was doing a three point turn and leaving the way she came, avoiding his home like it was infected.

It wasn't until they were several miles away that he spoke, saying, "Kurotsuchi-san knows."

"I know."

"Everything?"

"She doesn't know about the kiss." Saying it was a kiss seemed wrong, because they both knew it'd been more than that. Just their feelings alone made it so much more.

Silence. It remained that way until they finally came to a stop outside the park she regularly ran laps around. She chose it due to how far out of the way it was – far enough to cause her mother anxiety whenever she learned how far she'd gone. There were no streetlights there, no houses for at least two miles. They were well and truly alone.

It was both unnerving and thrilling.

Sakura hesitantly turned in her seat after removing her seatbelt, turning off her engine and as the headlights shut off, they were plunged into darkness. They had to wait for their eyes to adjust but after a moment, she decided she didn't want to wait and restarted her engine, leaving the headlights off but switching on her interior light.

"What happened with Yamanaka-san?"

"Go straight for the hardest question," she said with a humourless chuckle.

"Sasuke said he messed up," Itachi informed her, frowning. "Did he…?"

His own brother thought the worst of him, Sakura realised sadly, heart clenching. "No."

"Then what happened-"

"We're not here to talk about that," she told him firmly, demanding the shake of her hands to leave. She wanted the aching of her heart to let up for a second. "We're here to talk about… about us."

"I don't want to move on."

"Sasuke-kun knows," was the only thing she could think to reply with.

Shock had his eyes widening fractionally, but it soon shifted to disbelief. "He would have said something-"

"He knows I'm attracted to you," she said, once more frowning. "He said he found out during our dance at the photoshoot."

"Why hasn't he said anything?"

Her answer was simple and filled with exasperation as she said, "Because he's Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke wouldn't bring something up if it meant he would be emotionally vulnerable. Sure, he'd been better at opening up as of late, but she knew how sore of a topic Itachi was to him. All his life, Sasuke had felt inferior to him, always the second best and now, he knew she was attracted to him. And for some impossible reason she just couldn't understand, he was okay with it. Kind of.

Knowing his brother, Itachi faced forward and shut his eyes, releasing a quiet sigh.

"What did Kurotsuchi-san say?"

"Nothing that was uncalled for."

"She told me that no matter what happens, no matter who it's with, there's no happy ending for me with your family."

And it felt like her heart was crumbling when Itachi nodded after a moment, agreeing. His eyes opened once more, but they remained locked with her dashboard. "She's right."

Sasuke's face flashed to the front of her mind, the reminder of how openly he'd wept into her arms and chest, repeatedly telling Sakura how sorry he was. How was she supposed to believe Kurotsuchi's words when it was painfully obvious how desperately Sasuke wished to change?

"What did Sasuke say?"

"That he's okay with me being attracted to you because he understands why," Sakura admitted sadly, also looking away. "He said he needs to be more like you, because you're the kind of man I need."

For a moment or two, Itachi was silent and a faint frown marred his features. Then, he asked quietly, "What happened with Yamanaka-san, Sakura?"

"I already told you-"

He cut her irritated response off, saying, "Think about it. Do those words truly sound like something Sasuke would say?"

She swallowed. "…He's been receiving nudes from her."

"Nudes?"

Of course he didn't know what nudes were. Previously, Itachi had told her he avoided social media at all costs. Sakura resisted the urge to roll her eyes at his innocence. "Naked pictures. Pictures of her… touching herself and having sex."

"And he didn't immediately delete them?"

Biting her lip, she looked to him, drinking in his features as she tried to understand where his thoughts were going and why. Part of her already knew and was whispering endless possibilities in her mind, feeding her anxiety and insecurities, but Sakura did all she could to ignore them.

"No," she eventually said. "He wanted the messages as proof that he never instigated anything or gave her any kind of inclination that the attention was wanted."

"Sakura," he began, then stopped himself, like what he was about to say made him uncomfortable. It took several moments (way too long, in her opinion) for him to continue, saying slowly, "You would know the difference if Sasuke was manipulating you, wouldn't you?"

Manipulating her? Sakura's chest gave an uncomfortable squeeze. "Of course," she said too quickly. "Sasuke-kun is… He's too emotional to fake any of his responses."

"I agree with you there. Sasuke is more emotional than he likes others to believe," Itachi told her with a nod, but continued to frown. "However, my brother is also intelligent and would have thought of every outcome."

She'd been too quick in her assumption of Itachi no longer knowing Sasuke. It seemed, despite the separation and lack of contact when he moved away for university, that he still knew his brother well – or, at least, he'd quickly picked up on any outdated information he had.

The night before, Sakura had already warned herself that Sasuke would have considered her discovering the messages and pictures, allowing him to come up with a solid defence. But still, even if he'd gone through with his plan of action, his emotions had been genuine. There were times where he'd slipped up and let said emotions take control.

"No, I trust him," she said after a moment, expression pleading with Itachi to trust Sasuke, too. "Sasuke-kun hates that sort of attention."

"I don't know him like you do," he stated after a pause. "But I like to think I know you, Sakura and you cannot continue under this strain. It's causing you too much pain."

Stop it, she mentally begged. I already know that.

Head falling into her hands when those stupid tears filled her eyes, she hunched over, grateful for her hair shielding her until Itachi brushed it behind her ear, his touch gentle. And it only made her cry harder, because she was trying so goddamn hard to push him away. She had no right to be treated so delicately. Why would he want to comfort her when she'd been so horrible to him?

"You're not happy," he murmured, voice off like he was feeling emotional himself, but she didn't look to find out.

Sakura didn't fight Itachi when he pulled her closer, hand reaching up and switching off the interior light without looking, allowing her more privacy despite already weeping into his shoulder and neck.

"I'm sorry for shouting at you," she cried.

"I knew my words would have an impact on Sasuke, no matter how harsh they would have been for him to hear."

Yes, they had. They'd forced him to see how wrong his actions were. But the question was: how long would that last? When would he next lose his temper?

"I can't do this anymore," she sobbed suddenly, recalling how broken and defeated she'd felt the night before, how lost she was when Sasuke cried to her, how submissive and scared she was of the whole goddamn family. It was like it was all crashing down on her in that moment, choking the life out of her. "Any of it – I can't do it."

The arms around her tightened.

"I don't want you to go away or move on," she cried harder, eyes squeezing shut, no doubt smearing makeup everywhere. In fact, she could feel one of her false lashes peeling already, but that hardly mattered to her. "I don't want to be scared of Sasuke-kun."

"I won't go away or move on," he assured her firmly and she felt him shift, cheek pressing to the side of her head. "I promise."

"E-Even though what we're doing is wrong?"

Much to her horror, he pulled back to look her and she wondered how the hell he wasn't laughing at her pitifulness as she saw her false eyelash drooping into her line of sight.

"How can it be wrong when you need someone by your side?" asked Itachi softly and carefully, he reached up, moving the eyelash out of her eye and attempting to stick it back on. She couldn't stop her reluctant chuckle when it pinged back off. "You can't bottle it all up, Sakura. It will destroy you mentally."

Gently brushing his hand aside, Sakura pulled both eyelashes off, tossing them to the space beneath her handbrake.

"Why do you stay with him?"

The question startled her, but not half as much as her inability to answer it did, leaving her to stare at Itachi for several moments in contemplation, trying to find out why. Why did she put up with so much?

But then she remembered Sasuke's breakdown. She recalled the tortured look that had filled his face when he hurt her. She thought about how it felt when he told her he loved her and the passion in his kiss.

Could she really outweigh the bad with the good, though?

"He needs me," she whispered.

His frown returned. "What do you need?"

Stability. Safety. To feel appreciated. She needed a relationship where both parties were on equal grounds. She needed to feel secure and like she had nothing to be afraid of, because the person she was with would never hurt her. She needed to feel loved without it coming after something major.

She needed Sasuke to be…

Her gaze dropped when Itachi leaned forward, the sudden proximity causing an ache in her chest.

"What do you want, Sakura?" he asked quietly.

You, she was frightened to admit. I want you.

"I'm confused," she confessed and shut her eyes tightly. "I have feelings for you both."

"I know."

She looked to him helplessly, demanding, "And you're okay with that? With this?"

The faint smile he offered to her was equally helpless, his eyes saddening. "Would it make you happier?"

No. That wasn't fair. He was being too damn selfless, pushing aside what he wanted or what he needed for the sake of trying to give her an ounce of happiness.

"You're his brother."

"My brother is continuously tearing you down and making you feel worthless."

She tried to put more distance between them, pulling back, but Itachi held onto her, refusing to let her shut him out again.

Shakily, she held onto his arms.

"Let me try," he quietly pleaded, and she could only stare at the look in his eyes, the promise stunning her. And then he reached up, tenderly wiping away her tears and making Sakura wonder how badly her makeup had run, especially when she caught sight of his fingers, not surprised in the least to find her mascara was coating them. "I can make you happy, Sakura."

Her grip on him tightened and it felt like her heartrate was skyrocketing, leaving her lightheaded.

But…

Reluctantly, she shut her eyes, breaking the spell he had on her and dropping her head forward to his chest, releasing a deep sigh.

"Sasuke-kun needs me," she whispered and as the words left her lips, she felt like the darkness of the night was swallowing her whole, leaving her lonely and cold. "We can't do this to him."

"It doesn't have to be sexually that I'm here," he told her just as softly, the feeling of his whispered words causing her to shiver delicately and she wondered how the hell he could even say that, when the smallest of touches set her whole body on fire. She was too responsive to him for them to avoid anything like that. It felt physically impossible. "Whenever you need someone to talk to, whenever you need comforting-"

"Even if it's not sexually, it's still cheating. I'll be emotionally cheating on him."

"I am here regardless," Itachi said after a pause, his arms coming around her, embracing her. "Whenever you need me, I will be here."

A/N - Honestly, things are going from bad to worse for me in my life right now and I feel like it shows in this chapter, so at some point I'll be rewriting it - hopefully nothing too major, but tweaks here and there to make it flow more smoothly.