Thirty minutes later, Callie emerged from her bedroom and went directly to the living room to collect the carafe and other supplies as well as the nearly full wine-glasses left over from the night before. While she was in the shower, she had given a great deal of thought to what she envisioned for her and Arizona moving forward. Since they still had a good two hours before Sofia awoke and the movers arrived, she hoped maybe they could begin laying the foundation for their fresh start. Rinsing the wine glasses and placing them in the dishwasher, she went to the refrigerator and grabbed the creamer for the coffee. Pouring two cups of the steaming dark liquid, she prepared hers to her liking then added a generous amount of cream and sugar to the other cup. She laughed lightly as she remembered the first time she watched her ex load her mug full of cream and sugar and the daggers that were shot at her as she made a remark about having a bit of coffee with her cream and sugar. That was one of the things she missed the most, the playful banter on a lazy morning before either of them had anything scheduled.
Carrying her coffee and the carafe of supplies for their game out to the patio, Callie sat on the comfortable rattan sofa as was now her morning ritual and reflected on the last two days. She was thrilled to find that familiarity, that fun flirty side of them wasn't lost forever and seemed to return without reluctance. It was something they had lost after the plane crash and struggled to get back to, but now it seemed almost second nature once again. She smirked as she thought about their brief make-out sessions and noted their physical attraction and passion for one another still burned as hot as it always did. Even more so now in her opinion, a fact that was both a blessing and a curse. She knew once they got to that point, it was going to be mind-blowing, earth-shattering, but having the patience and self-control until they were both ready was already proving to be a struggle. She also knew this was one area where they couldn't afford to give into their baser desires. So many times they just fell into bed without really dealing with anything and they had gotten to a point where they replaced emotional intimacy with the physical contact. It wasn't until long after she really began to heal, when she remembered all that was good about them, that she realized just how long it had been since they were able to communicate through something as simple as making eye contact across the room or a brief brushing of hands as they passed in the hall. It was in therapy that she remembered being able to sense when the blonde had entered or exited a room, the all-encompassing need to just be near her, touch her, hear her laugh, see her dazzling smile, know what she was thinking just by looking into those deep cerulean pools of emotion. It was also in therapy that she realized she had sacrificed those things, surrendered their undeniable connection to her overwhelming need to fulfill a vision she had formed long before Arizona ever came into her life.
She had recognized in therapy that she was always in such a rush to reach the end-game, to find her happy ever after that she skipped steps, overlooked things, and often times bulldozed her way through those little details, the all-important smaller pieces that were necessary to get to what she really wanted. She had done it with George, was headed in the same direction with Erika, and she most certainly did it with Penny. With them though, it wasn't the same. At the first sign of trouble they had fallen apart, it was never meant to be. But with Arizona, God, with Arizona everything was just…so much more. She felt everything on such a deeper level. They loved each other with everything they had and fought so hard to keep it. Looking back now, she could see how precarious everything was, how they had just paved over everything, never filled the cracks, never worked anything out, they just kept building, hoping that eventually it would all even out. She knew they couldn't do that now. They couldn't move on and build a new foundation on top of what was already there. They had to go back and fill in the cracks, open old wounds, and heal them together.
That was her greatest fear at the moment, opening those wounds. While she was pleased with their agreement not to tackle everything at once, she knew all too well what could happen. Leaning forward, she grabbed the pink notepad and tapped it against her leg. What they wrote on these papers and the discussion that followed could make or break them. The last time they tried to deal with everything it destroyed them and that was with the help of a professional. Granted, they were both mired in hurt and anger at the time and did nothing but hurl accusations and insults at one another putting the other person on the defensive. She didn't want them to feel that way again, she didn't want them to start each conversation prepared to be attacked. With that thought in mind, she started forming an idea, a slight alteration to their game. She hoped her ex-wife would agree with her. Feeling slightly more relaxed, Callie sat back, took a sip of her coffee, and closed her eyes as she thought about what she wanted to say.
As Arizona entered the kitchen/dining area, she noticed the hot cup of coffee sitting on the center island and smiled to herself. She knew without looking that Callie had prepared it exactly how she liked it. Since they started dating, Callie always prepared her coffee and had it waiting for her when she woke up or got out of the shower. If she was called in early, she knew the brunette would be waiting for her with a fresh cup. It was one of those little things she always did to show she cared. One of the many little things she did, like opening doors, carrying her bags, bringing her treats. Things she did without thought, without needing a reason. Things they both did for the other. Things they did until a plane fell out of the sky. Things that no longer felt like they were done out of love. Things that felt like they were done out of pity, guilt, duty. Things Arizona wouldn't allow her wife to do for her any longer. Things she missed so dearly the minute the other woman was no longer there to do them. Closing her eyes and swallowing the guilt, she took a sip of the steaming liquid and enjoyed the burn as it went down. Noticing the patio door was open she turned to see her ex-wife sitting on the sofa with her coffee in one hand, eyes closed, and the most peaceful expression she had seen in quite a while on that beautiful face. She leaned against the door frame and studied the other woman, appreciating the fact that she could do so freely for the first time in years.
She let her eyes wander down the long, gorgeous form, taking in the changes that both time and effort have produced. Along with the sexy haircut which accentuated her exquisite facial features, she noticed her ex appeared to be more physically fit, her strong arms and legs were more toned, the musculature more visible than she ever remembered, which also served to highlight her sumptuous curves. Curves which she seemed determine to hide. The blonde furrowed her brow slightly as she took in the loose button down shirt and mid-thigh shorts the other woman was currently wearing, coupled with the other outfits she has worn. All of which was a minor departure from the tighter fitting more revealing clothing she was used to seeing but still complemented her body. Though it was different, it was still very sexy and seemed to inspire more self-confidence. If she were being honest though, Callie could make a potato sack look sexy. Still, it was something she was curious about. While she had always appreciated the other woman, she discovered during their joint therapy sessions that she failed to vocalize her feelings. This was something she was determined to change. Callie was always so much better at those finer things than she was, noticing the slight changes, complimenting her outfits. She always took for granted that her love and appreciation was a given, counted on her actions to speak for her. Something she realized about herself in her individual sessions was she wasn't the easiest person to read and often times left a lot open for interpretation. Callie deserved better. In her eyes, Calliope Torres was a goddess, someone to be loved and cherished. She got so weighted down in her own shit that she lost sight of that. But standing here now, knowing she could have a second chance to set all that right, she vowed to herself to be the person this woman deserved.
"Are you going to come out here or are you just going to keep staring like a creeper?" Callie chided. She didn't have to open her eyes to know she was being watched. She smelled the jasmine and cherry blossom and felt the slight tingle at the back of her neck. She smiled at the feeling, relishing the idea that those tiny things were coming back to her. Startled from her thoughts, Arizona smiled and replied, "Can't blame a girl for enjoying the view." Making her way to the sofa, she sat next to her ex and noticed the carafe sitting on the small table in front of them. Feeling slightly nervous, she asked, "Anxious to get started?" Callie eyed her, noticing the nervous energy, and reached out to cover a soft pale hand with her own lightly squeezing it. "Anxious, nervous, probably everything you are feeling," she replied softly. Turning her hand to link their fingers, Arizona looked her in the eye and asked, "Are you having doubts Callie? Because if you have doubts or concerns…" she cut herself off when she saw the other woman shaking her head no. "I have absolutely no doubts that this is what I want Arizona. Is this…are you having…" she too cut herself off after seeing the blonde shake her head in the negative. Arizona turned so they were facing each other and assured, "I don't have any doubts about this Callie. I'm in if you are. It's just…the last time…" Turning her own body, Callie continued, "The last time we tried this didn't actually work out for us." Arizona nodded in agreement offering a sad smile.
Callie reached out and took Arizona's other hand and looked her directly in the eyes as she said, "The last time, we were both so angry, so hurt, so caught up in…the shitstorm that our life had become. We tossed out accusations, assigned blame, and neither of us heard the other. I think…I'd like to try something different than what we planned. If…if that's okay. If not, we can…" Intrigued, not really keen on the idea of laying all that hurt out there again, Arizona interrupted, "No, I…I would like to hear what you have in mind. Maybe…I mean, I'm just…" Not sure what she was even trying to say, the blonde trailed off with a huff of frustration. Callie nodded as if she understood exactly what she was trying to say. Taking a deep breath, the brunette started, "Just from our talk last night, and, and our actions, I feel like we have both come to realize our own part in all this, we have taken responsibility for our actions, something I know I didn't do four years ago." Seeing the blonde nod in agreement and feeling the slight pressure on her fingers, she continued, "Maybe, would it be okay, if, if we didn't write down the things that hurt us. If we didn't play the blame game this time. What if…could we put down the things we know we did to hurt each other. Take the time to apologize, to listen to how the other person felt…instead…instead of…I just don't want to go into this with either of us feeling defensive and attacked. We both know what the other would put on that paper…could we just…I don't know…say our piece first?" Arizona thought about this for a moment. At the end of their marriage, they just went in circles with their arguments. Both trying to justify their behaviors instead of admitting to them and apologizing, truly apologizing. Neither willing to take the half-hearted apologies that were always followed with 'buts' or some other qualifier that never really spoke of remorse or regret.
Watching as the myriad of expressions crossed her ex-wife's beautiful features, Callie relaxed a little when she saw the soft smile form across those full lips. Arizona nodded and let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding, "I really like that idea Calliope. Thank you for suggesting that." She then lifted both caramel colored hands to her mouth and placed a soft kiss on the back of each one. Callie did the same in turn then both women leaned in at the same time and touched their lips together. What was meant to be a chaste meeting of lips to seal their agreement quickly became heated as both sets of lips opened at the same time to invite the other in. Callie groaned at the taste of mint toothpaste, over-sweetened coffee, and something that was uniquely Arizona. As their lips slid together like fine silk, she slowly moved her hands up smooth alabaster skin, fingers tingling as she felt the tiny, raised bumps indicating the affect her touch had on the other woman. Finally reaching their destination, long tan fingers wrapped themselves in damp blonde curls and gave a gentle tug eliciting a moan of pleasure and lighting a flame in the smaller woman as she lurched forward turning the languid kiss into a quest for dominance. Soft pale hands that were moments ago gently caressing and teasing turned firm and determined as they wrapped around the freshly shaven stubble and pulled the other woman closer as if she were about to devour her.
Feeling the raw need radiating from the smaller woman and feeding off her desire, Callie lowered her hands, wrapped them around a slim waist and pulled the blonde into her lap causing both women to emit low guttural cries of satisfaction. Quickly finding the hem of the blonde's shirt, Callie slipped her right hand underneath to feel slick overheated skin as she slid her palm up her quivering stomach and finally, finally cupped the soft generous lace-covered mound she knew was topped with a strawberry champagne colored nipple taut with need. Arizona gasped and rolled her eyes in pleasure as she felt Callie's hand on her breast rubbing her palm against the tight nipple. She squirmed as she tried to find friction for her throbbing clit and moaned again when she felt the warm hand slip into the waistband of her jeans at the small of her back and begin to stroke and massage the sensitive skin there. The tight roll of her nipple spurred her into action as she broke the kiss and licked and nibbled her way down to the throbbing pulse point as she bit down and sucked the salty tan skin. Sliding her left hand down that sleek neck, her fingertips slid inside the light fabric and caressed until she found the buttons that kept her from seeing and tasting the delicious cleavage hidden beneath. She slid her fingers past the now unbuttoned shirt underneath the silky pink bra and swiped her fingertips across the tight mocha bud. "Fuck Arizona!" Callie groaned as that single action sent a flash of pleasure straight to her core and she could feel the moisture seep out of her. Sliding her own hand beneath the lacy fabric she rolled the hard nipple between her thumb and forefinger causing Arizona's entire body to twitch as she too felt the jolt of electricity spread through her body. "Jesus Calliope!" Arizona husked out. Hand still caressing the creamy flesh beneath it, Callie whispered, "We should…oh god…" she lost all capability for thought as the blonde lowered her head and sucked at the sensitive skin on the inner curve of her right breast. "Oh fuck…fuck…fuck…we, oh shit! We need to stop or I am going to take you right here, right now."
Not at all threatened by the prospect of that but knowing the outcome would not benefit them for many reasons, Arizona reluctantly placed one last kiss on the tender spot she had just marked and removed her hand from Callie's shirt. Laying her head on the other woman's shoulder, she focused on making her fumbling fingers fasten the tiny white buttons. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she felt those lovely hands slide from beneath her own clothing and straighten it out. Both women sat silently, the only sound being their labored breathing and the birds chirping from somewhere in the yard. Arizona laughed as Callie blew out a deep breath and offered, "Well that escalated quickly." As Callie leaned back against the sofa, she shifted Arizona more comfortably on her lap and pulled her in to rest against her chest. Sliding her left hand to caress the side of Callie's head, Arizona asked, "And this surprises you why?" Chuckling softly, the brunette kissed the crown of blonde hair and murmured, "I guess it shouldn't huh?" Shaking her head, the blonde lowered her hand and rested it on the hand sitting in her lap.
After several minutes of comfortable silence, basking in the feeling of holding and being held by the woman she loved, Arizona lifted her head and said, "So, clearly we need to set those boundaries. What did you have in mind?" Moving her hand to intertwine their fingers, Callie took a minute to gather her earlier thoughts. She then asked, "What was your favorite part about our relationship?" Puzzled, Arizona furrowed her brow and asked, "Like a time period…or…?" Callie nodded, "It could be a time period I guess, but, okay, like, I was thinking earlier how my favorite part about us…something I never had with anyone else…was…IS…how I just knew when you were nearby, it's like my body could feel you and I just automatically started looking around and then when I found you, when our eyes met, it's like, we had this whole conversation without saying anything. We would just know by a look or expression or, I don't know…whatever…we would just know what the other needed and smile, wink, blow a kiss, roll our eyes, sneer, we could just read each other and that…that always carried me through until I could see you alone. Or like how we always had to touch each other, even in passing without saying a word, you would always reach out your hand and brush mine, like you just needed my touch or you were gathering strength, or I was." Arizona knew she was grinning like a fool. She knew if she looked in the mirror, she would see that goofy grin Mark talked about. Now understanding what her ex was asking, she didn't have to think long to come up with her favorites.
Pointing to her face, Arizona said, "This, this right here is one." Raising her brow in question, Callie asked, "Your face?" Arizona laughed and tried to explain, "This smile. Mark…Mark used to pick on me about it. He would bat his eyelashes and let out this exaggerated sigh and say he could tell I was thinking about you because it was my Calliope grin. You told Ruby it was my super-magic smile, but it's not for everyone. Its like I can feel the difference. When it's aimed at you or I'm thinking about you, its like I get all tingly and I know my eyes are sparkling and I'm not really focused on anything because what I am seeing is in my head, in my heart." Blushing, she looked up to find sparkling brown eyes full of unshed tears and that brilliant mega-watt smile she loved so much. "Arizona…you…" Shaking her head, speechless, Callie just pulled the smaller woman into a hug. It wasn't often the blonde said things like that, but when she did, it always floored her. "That happiness only you can bring me, that feeling, that sense of calm even in the worst of times is something I miss so much. Oh, and…um…okay, this sounds sexual, but it's not. When we would bathe or shower together and just wash each other's hair and body, just take the time to discover each other, to give pleasure in a nonsexual way. I always felt so close to you, I loved just taking care of you, pampering you, nurturing our love. It was intimate and sensual…and…and…spiritual to me." Callie nodded in agreement and swallowed the lump in her throat at hearing these words, knowing it took no time at all for the other woman to think about had her melting. They were on the same page.
Reaching up to run her fingers through soft blonde curls, Callie said softly, "Those things, this right here, talking, sharing our feelings, being vulnerable with each other, this is what I've missed the most, what I…what we both overlooked…we lost the intimacy, the connection somewhere along the line and replaced it with sex and arguing. As much as I love, and I mean I LOVE sex with you, making love to you, and as badly as I want you, I want that first. I want us to be us again. The Callie and Arizona that made Christina gag and Bailey roll her eyes and run away." They both broke into giggles at that. "I want to always make you smile and I want you to be able to know my thoughts with just one look from across a crowded room. I don't want us to rush into the physical before we have figured out the emotional." It was Arizona's turn to be choked up now. Not caring at all that a tear had escaped, she nodded and said, "I want that too. I've missed you so much Calliope, everything about you and while I never stopped loving you, I am quickly falling in love with you all over again." Callie let the tears fall as well as she asked, "You are?" Arizona nodded, "I am." Callie leaned in careful to keep her kiss light and as she pulled back she said, "I'm falling in love with you too."
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Arizona returned to the patio with two fresh cups of coffee as Callie dropped her last post-it into the carafe. Instead of the original 3, they both agreed to list 5 talking points. Taking the much needed elixir, Callie let out a low moan at the taste causing Arizona to freeze with her cup in mid-air. Placing it on the glass table with a click, she said, "Okay, rule number one, no sex noises." Callie looked up in shock and said, "Look who's talking miss food orgasm." Arizona snorted, "Are you kidding me? I'm still jealous of our wedding cake. The way you ogled it and moaned in pleasure after each bite." Callie laughed, "I did not." Arizona rolled her eyes and mimicked holding a plate and fork in her hand, "Oh my god Arizona! Have you tasted this? I swear it's a hundred times better than it was at the tasting. MMMMmmm oh god." Callie scowled at her, "Unh huh, okay, what about the pound cake?" Arizona opened her mouth then snapped it shut. "Okay, fine, we both do it. So it needs to be a rule!" The brunette chuckled and shook her head, "Okay fine, rule number one, no sex noises." She looked over in time to see Arizona stretching again and couldn't take her eyes off the exposed skin of her hipbone as her shirt rose up. "Rule number two, no flaunting your sexy ass body in front of me." Dropping her hands, the blonde stared at her with a look of pure incredulity. "ME? You…oh…ohhh ohhh…oh no! You…you and that red top and no bra…and…and the nipples…and lickable skin…un huh!" Shaking her head, Callie argued, "Lickable isn't even a real word Arizona." The blonde huffed and mumbled, "It is when it comes to you!" Snorting, Callie said, "Okay, so clearly we find each other undeniably sexy. Can we both agree to be more, uh, what? Discreet? Careful?" Nodding, Arizona agreed, "I can try but, you know, reigning all this in…" She laughed as the other woman just rolled her eyes.
Hearing a noise from inside the house, both women turned their heads toward the door. Knowing they only had a few minutes, Callie became serious, "Okay, we try not to go out of our way to entice the other. Kissing? What about touching? How far can we go?" Arizona thought about it for a minute then replied, "Definitely kissing, no touching under the clothes, second base?" Callie tilted her head and asked, "Familiar touch? Holding hands? In public? In front of Sofia?" Narrowing her eyes, Arizona returned, "What do you think?" Biting her bottom lip, Callie contemplated, "I don't want to hide this Arizona. I want things to come naturally. If we are both in this, determined to make it work, then I don't see how it could hurt her. Maybe, we just…don't say anything and if she asks…" Arizona interrupted, "When, you know she'll ask." Callie nodded, "When she asks we tell her the truth. We explain we want to be together, live as a family again, we have some things to work out, but…" The blonde thought about this for a minute. She didn't want Sofia to be hurt or disappointed if it didn't work out, but Callie was right, they were both in this and wanted it to work so she couldn't go into it assuming it wouldn't work or anyone would get hurt. "Okay." Callie's head snapped up; she really didn't expect her ex to agree so quickly. Arizona explained, "I don't want to go into this making safeguards 'in case' something goes wrong. We are both in this and we are both well aware its not just our hearts and feelings involved. We know what's best for our daughter and we will always keep that in mind. What's best for all of us right now is that we are able to be our authentic selves and hold nothing back." Both women smiled and leaned forward to seal their agreement. Just as their lips touched, they heard a squeak from behind them and with lips still puckered both turned their heads to see a very happy 8 year old turning in circles punching her hand in the air as she whisper yelled, "Yes! Yes! Yes! I knew it!" Giggling, Callie looked at Arizona and whispered, "Good thing you agreed." The blonde nodded and laughed as both women ended up with an armful of squealing child.
Pulling back and running her hand through her daughter's hair, Callie asked, "So you're okay with this baby girl? Do you have any questions?" Sofia jumped back and clapped her hands, "I am sooooo okay with this. Does that mean we all get to live here? No more having two houses?" Both women looked at each other. Knowing it was ultimately Arizona's decision, Callie looked to her to answer as she was certain the blonde knew how she felt about the matter. Tilting her head to the left and squinting her eyes at the two brunettes who were looking at her with hopeful brown eyes, she quickly thought about what she wanted to do. They hadn't really discussed it and they had no idea how long it would take, but if their goal was to end up together, then they had to make sure they could BE together. Smiling Arizona nodded, "Mama and I still have some things to work through and talk about, but I think the best way to make sure we can be a family again is to give it a try right?" Sofia threw her arms around her blonde mother and let out another squeal of delight. As she pulled back, she remembered why she came looking for her parents in the first place, "Oh that's good, cuz the movers are here." Both women stood up then, "What? When did they get here?" Callie asked. Running into the house, Sofia called out, "Just now, that's what I came to tell you." Shaking her head at her daughter, Arizona started toward the house as Callie pulled her back. "Arizona?" Turning to look at her ex-wife, the blonde smiled reassuringly and said, "I'm sure Callie. Now come on because I have no idea where you want this stuff."
After ten minutes of debate, Arizona and Sofia both picked out the boxes they needed in the house and Callie directed the movers to take everything else to the pool house which had yet to be furnished allowing for plenty of room to store everything. Two hours and a healthy tip later, Arizona closed the door and made her way into the dining room where her family was sitting down for lunch. "What are we going to do today mama?" Sofia asked as she took a bite of her sandwich. Callie finished chewing her salad as she offered, "Well, I thought maybe we could go into town, walk around for a bit, there's a huge park I'm sure a certain someone would love, and maybe we could catch the ferry out to see this old lighthouse I'm pretty sure mommy would love to see." Callie laughed as both her girls smiled and let out an excited "Yay!"
As the three finished eating, Arizona cleaned up the kitchen as Callie helped their daughter find her tennis shoes among the piles of boxes. Closing the dishwasher door, Arizona felt the strong arms wrap around her waist as a soft kiss was placed on her cheek. "Thank you for cleaning up." Arizona smiled and turned in the other woman's arms. She watched as her expression turned from thoughtful to worried. She knew the other woman was going to ask something about her leg and hated that she had caused that hesitance. She raised her hand to cup a soft caramel cheek as she encouraged, "You can ask Callie. It's okay." Sighing in relief, Callie surprised her slightly when she said, "The park, it has a running track, I noticed your blade when you opened your bag at the airport and thought maybe we could walk it today, see if you thought it would be okay…ya know, maybe it could be our family thing. Sofia could play while we ran a few laps." Seeing the surprise in those blue eyes, Callie dropped her hands and stepped back, "Or not…I just…I saw the…I'm sorry…you probably…" She stopped talking and dropped her head into her hands when the blonde mumbled something, turned around and walked quickly toward her room. "Shit! Shit, shit, shit! Why couldn't I leave well enough alone?" "Callie? Who are you talking to?" the blonde asked confused about what got her ex in such a state so quickly. Callie dropped her hands and whipped around to see Arizona holding a small blue duffle bag. Her heart sank and she could feel her eyes well up with tears. "Arizona, I'm sorry please don't go." Furrowing her brow, Arizona asked, "I thought we were going to the park. Why are you sorry?" Confused, Callie explained, "I…you…uh…you're not mad? You aren't leaving?" Shaking her head, the blonde explained, "This is my blade Callie, you said you wanted to check out the track." Callie nodded then said, "Yeah but you just walked away." Arizona looked at her and cocked her head, "You didn't hear me? Oh my god Callie. I'm so sorry. I was so excited about running and us running together, I just rattled off that I was going to go grab the blade and took off." She set the bag down and gathered the frazzled woman in her arms. "I'm not mad. I'm so so happy you thought of that." Squeezing tighter, Arizona whispered, "I did so much damage when it came to my leg. I know that. It's in the bowl to talk about. I'm sorry I worried you." Callie looked up then, relief written all over her face, "I did a lot of damage myself when it came to that. I put it in there too." Both women laughed as they pulled apart. As Callie bent down to grab the bag, Arizona started to protest, "Cal…" and she was stopped by that very sexy, but very intimidating raised eyebrow. Snapping her mouth shut, Callie winked at her and called for their daughter as she made her way to the door.