AN: I'm not that cruel. I couldn't make you wait for this one. I'm so happy you all liked the last chapter. Everyone is Shonda's and all that jazz.
Callie stood frozen in the doorway. Dark brown eyes full of terror met anguished blue. Arizona stood in the middle of the large room, one hand balled into a fist, the other resting on the leg on the table. Her mind flashed to the scene she just left, a man lying in a hospital bed, face red with anger, pain, and hatred. His wife hovering in a corner, red-rimmed eyes full of unshed tears, full of fear, full of love, full of a different kind of pain. Both faces contorted, transformed, the man in the bed took on her face, her features, the woman in the corner slowly morphed into her own wife. Closing her eyes, unable to bear that look for another second, knowing she caused it, she did this, she was the source of the nerves, the fear, the pain, filled her with shame, regret, anger. Turning back to the table, Arizona studied the leg in front of her then allowed her eyes to survey the rest of the room. A display on the back wall caught her attention, the contents within drew her towards it. The blonde walked over to the wall where a showcase of sorts sat holding five different robotic limbs. The first truly looked like something from The Terminator. She remembered that one. That's the one that brought her so much pain and anger because she couldn't see the real motivation behind her wife's actions. All she saw was that she was trying to fix her, not that she was trying to help her rebuild the life she had lost. Each one showed an improvement to the technology or appearance of the one before it. She gasped as she read the tiny sign above the display AR5511 Prototype Series 1-5. She looked down again, seeing that each model was designed and measured to her exact specifications and finally realized all this was for her. Five years of research, trial, and error, the Veterans Project, this…the whole concept behind this center was all for her. She turned to see the other woman had entered the room and was now leaning against the closed door, arms wrapped around her middle protectively, cautious eyes watching her intently.
Having no idea what she was walking into, which Arizona she was going to encounter, Callie stood back and observed the smaller woman as she slowly made her way around the room taking in her surroundings. But what did she see? Did she see evidence of guilt? Multiple failed attempts to fix what she broke? Or did she see proof? Proof that even after everything, in spite of everything, she never once, not even for a second stopped trying to make the other woman feel whole, both physically and emotionally. Hearing the clearing of a throat, she realized she was about to find out and every hair stood on end as the blood ran cold in her body. "My wife…" she gasped at hearing that word coming from those lips. Hearing the quick intake of breath, Arizona continued, "My wife, Calliope, she has the most amazing smile. She doesn't just smile with her lips, her mouth opens slightly and her perfect white teeth sparkle, her cheeks…have this amazing bone structure and when she smiles, its like her cheeks rise up and highlight her eyes, her dark chocolate eyes dance with delight, her shoulders lift up and her body leans toward you, she doesn't just smile with her lips, she smiles with her whole body and it just makes you smile, makes you want to laugh and be happy with her. She has this amazing heart. She's caring, loving, giving, passionate, generous. She's not like other people. Most people make you earn their love, they're reserved and wary. Not Calliope though, Calliope loves first, she loves you with everything she has until you give her reason not to. Then she gives you second and third and fourth chances. She loves like she wants to be loved. She opens her heart and lets you take until she has nothing left to give. She has the most captivating brown eyes. Most people think brown eyes are boring, but her eyes are this rich mocha color rimmed in onyx and there are these little gold flecks peppered throughout the deep pools of emotion. They are so expressive; you can read every thought and every feeling that is floating around that beautiful brain of hers."
Arizona had yet to turn around, to look at her, but Callie could hear the tears in her voice, see the tremors caused by the silent sobs. As hot tears rolled down her own cheeks, she just listened as the blonde poured out her heart saying things she had never heard before, things that healed her soul as they flowed out of that beautiful mouth. She knew why Arizona was doing this; she had asked Bill to describe what he loved about his wife and now she was doing the same. She asked him so he could remind himself. But Arizona, she was doing it so she could remind Callie, so she would know she was seen, she was loved. She was broken from her thoughts when she heard, "My Calliope, she adored me, pampered me, spoiled me, she opened doors for me, took my shoes off when I was too tired to do it myself, then she would massage my feet for hours, she always made sure my coat was zipped and my hat covered my ears because I was always in such a rush I would just take off without it, she brought me coffee and scones because she knew I didn't take time to eat, she did all these little things every day because she didn't just love with her heart, she loved with her actions. She used to look at me like I hung the moon. It didn't matter what I was doing, she looked at me like it was the most amazing thing she had ever seen a person do."
Arizona turned around then and walked back to the table and ran her hand down the length of the leg. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she continued, "Then a plane fell out of the sky. Her whole life was changed in an instant. For four days, she didn't know if she was a widow, if our daughter had three parents, two parents, or just one. For four days she mourned the loss of not just her wife and her best friend, but her former roommate, her friends and mentor. She was all alone, trying to be strong for our child while she had no one to be strong for her. Nearly everyone who meant anything to her was dead for all she knew. When we returned, she didn't care what shape we were in, she didn't love us any less. She didn't love me any less. She loved me more than she ever thought she could because I was alive and she could have lost me." Arizona never saw her wife as a victim of the plane crash, in fact, after completely shattering her wife's heart by cheating, she poured salt on the wound by telling her she didn't lose anything in the plane crash, she didn't suffer. She never thought about the pain and anguish her wife suffered during and after that time. She couldn't see past her own pain. She never saw it until the plane crashed in Seattle when she watched all the families of the victims mourn and worry and cry. She never knew of her wife's true sacrifice until Alex told her what he did and Callie told her why she took the blame. When that plane crashed in Seattle is when she finally saw all the damage she had done. Callie closed her eyes and sobbed as she realized what Arizona was saying. For the first time in six years, her ex-wife was acknowledging her pain and loss from the crash as well.
"I was lying in a hospital bed and made my wife…I was a surgeon…we don't make promises to patients. I made my wife, a surgeon, promise me you wouldn't cut off my leg." Callie held her breath, she knew what was coming. She waited for the anger and hatred to spew forth when the words came out, but she barely heard the whispered words and what she did hear broke her heart for completely different reasons. "My wife made that promise. My wife made the promise. Not the surgeon, not the unattached doctor who had no emotional tie to the patient lying in the bed. My wife promised me she wouldn't cut off my leg…and…and she didn't. You didn't cut off my leg. For three years, I thought my wife cut off my leg. I would close my eyes and picture you standing over me with a bone saw. I was supposed to be the love of your life. I didn't understand how…how you could…I didn't know. I wondered how on earth you could love me like you said you did and cut off my leg." Arizona shook her head then, trying to get that erroneous vision out of her head. She continued, "You looked at me with that same love, loyalty, and devotion you always did. But my poisoned mind, my brain that thought you…I only saw guilt, pity, and duty. I could hear you crying in the bathroom and from Mark's apartment. I wanted so badly to comfort you, to let you comfort me, to feel your arms wrap around me, but I couldn't. I wouldn't. I refused to turn to the person who did this to me. I didn't understand…I thought you were minimizing your role in my pain and suffering by saying you made the call. I thought you tried to build me a new leg to replace the one you cut off, out of guilt." Tears were streaming down her face and the absolute look of anguish on Callie's face made her want to run, but she didn't run anymore. She was determined to stay and face what she had done.
Stunned. That was the only word Callie could think of to describe how she felt at that moment. It never occurred to her that her secret may have been what caused so much pain. It was also at that moment that her wife's words from that horrible stormy night finally made sense. Let me grab a bone saw and even the score. Shaking her head no, the brunette stepped closer, "I…I thought I was doing the right thing by not telling you it was Alex. I never even thought…I knew you would hate me, I just wanted you to have someone." Callie said with tears clouding her vision. While Arizona understood this and had forgiven her wife long ago, she never told her the one thought that kept running through her mind since she found out the truth. She crossed the room and took the strong tan hand of the other woman and squeezed gently. She spoke softly, "I'm not blaming you; I don't blame you for anything, I just…I needed you Callie. Only you. You were that person for me, you were my person. But I knew I couldn't be yours if you could…I thought you stayed out of duty, out of guilt. I wanted to lean on you, to cry with you, but I couldn't get past that vision, that thought of you..." Letting out a deep sob, Callie pulled Arizona closer and wrapped her arms around her. "I made the call. I broke my promise. I thought it didn't matter who made the cut, but oh my God, I can't imagine…I'm so sorry I made you think that. Arizona, I would never…I COULD never...you were always my person. I just didn't know how I could be yours after breaking my promise. I thought the damage was done with that. I could never…Arizona…God…it was me…I broke us."
Hearing this, Arizona snapped her head up, "NO! No Calliope. This is not on you! NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT. Do you hear me?" She waited until brown eyes looked into blue and said sincerely, "I am so sorry for who I was then and how I treated you. If there is one thing in my life that I could change, it would be that: How I treated you, or mistreated you rather, disrespected you, broke my vows to you, and blamed you. It shouldn't have mattered to me who made the cut because at the end of the day, you saved my life Calliope. You and only you are the reason I am standing here today, both literally and figuratively. I lay on the side of that mountain and willed myself to live for you, for Sofia. I would close my eyes and see this gorgeous face, that amazing smile, and I would make myself breathe for you. But when I came back…I wasn't me…and I was mean and terrible, and…and abusive. I blamed you for too long and the only thing you did was love me. So no, you didn't break us and you don't get to take the blame. I did this to us and I will never regret anything more than what I did to you, to us." Not believing what she was hearing, or not wanting to, the Latina interrupted, "Not getting on the plane? Not the crash? Not losing your leg in the first place?" tears still flowing freely from her eyes as well. The blonde shook her head back and forth, "Except for losing Mark and Lexie, no. My biggest regret was and always will be the damage I did to you. I lost so much more than my leg after the crash. I learned to live without my leg, to do nearly everything I could do before. I learned that with you, from you. But my behavior, my actions, they made me lose so much more than my leg. I lost something that can never be replaced with a prosthetic or any other substitute."
Questioning brown eyes stared into blue and a slight arch of the brow urged her to continue. Arizona held tightly to Callie's hands and spoke confidently, "You, Calliope. I lost you and there is no replacement and no substitute. There's no one who can fill that void. You'll always be my person. I know you are here now and I know we are working on it. But I lost that look, the way you looked at me and made my heart race and my stomach tie in knots. Sometimes, when you look at me now, my heart drops and my stomach churns because I made you scared and nervous and uncertain. I took away your ability to love me, to do the little things that you need to do to express your love. I made you stop loving me the way you do best. Calliope, I know I did so much damage and I made you afraid to even ask me about my leg. Every time I see the fear in your eyes, how scared you were to ask me to go running with you, how worried you were when you saw my bag, how nervous you were to bring me here, I just hate myself for doing that to you. But I need you to know that I accept who I am now. I'll have bad days and I'll get mad and impatient with myself for not being able to do something as long as I want to without getting tired or feeling pain. But I understand that as my wife, you made the call to save my life, you saw what I couldn't see. If you wouldn't have done that, I wouldn't be here to even try to do those things. I know it will take time, but…you have permission…no, you have the right…as my partner, the mother of my child, an expert in the field, you can ask, you can touch, you can do what you need to do to be able to love me and care for me the way only you can. The way I want only you to love me."
Callie studied her ex-wife's face and saw nothing but love and sincerity. In that moment, the weight that had been placed on her chest six years ago when Alex announced her wife was dying began to feel lighter. She no longer had to wonder which Arizona she would encounter because this woman who was looking at her with so much love and regret was HER Arizona. This is the woman she fell in love with and was falling in love with again. As blue eyes locked on brown, neither could hold back any longer. Arizona wrapped her arms around Callie's neck while she in turn put her arms around the blonde's lower back and pulled her in tight. The two women stood in the middle of a quiet room and comforted one another while they shed silent tears. Tears that held traces of anger and forgiveness, pain and healing, lost love, and the last of the remnants of broken hearts ran down both women's cheeks. Tears that were a long time coming flowed freely. They held each other tight as their tears and bodies gave the comfort they had longed to give for 6 years. When the shaking of shoulders and whispered sobs came to an end, the two women drew back only far enough to look into one another's eyes. Simultaneously, a tan hand lifted to wipe the tears off ivory skin blotched red with emotion while a small milky white hand came forward to clear away the tears from smooth tan cheeks.
Looking over the taller woman's shoulder at the display in the back of the room, Arizona whispered, "AR5511? Arizona Robbins – May 5th, 2011." Swallowing another sob, Callie nodded her head and closed her eyes, "Our wedding day. I just…I – I know you told me not to. I know you don't want it. I just…I had to. I had to for me. To heal me. I took everything from you when I made the call. In doing that, I helped destroy us. I've done hundreds of amputations, but it wasn't until I had to decide, until you had to experience it, that I realized how much my patients lost. What we saw in Bill's room, I had never experienced that before until I was on the other side, until I was Crystal. I did my part as the surgeon and moved on to the next patient. I never realized I was taking their life without killing them. I was destroying families. God I'm messing this up, I'm sorry. I was going to tell you, show you. I just…I wanted more time, to talk, to explain, that's why, this, all this, the leg, the center, this is why I put the leg on one of my cards too. So I could tell you, well, everything." Running her hand over the stubble on the side of her head again, the Latina walked to the table and ran her hand down the robotic leg. "You're probably mad, I get it. I don't expect you to use it. But once this is manufactured, it will help thousands of people. Thousands Arizona! Veterans, athletes…"
The blonde stepped up and started making soothing circles on the taller woman's back with her hand. "Hey, hey, it's okay, it's okay. I'm not mad. I think this is - Callie, I am amazed by this…by you! I knew you continued the research, at least while you were in Seattle and I am so happy you did even after you left. I know you have already helped hundreds of people. I can't be mad at that. You started this to help me, to make me feel whole again and not just physically. I get it now. You weren't trying to fix me. You weren't trying to make me who I was. You were trying to give me something I lost, not out of guilt but out of love. You were trying to help me rebuild my life, our life together." Arizona stood looking at the prosthetic designed for her and took a deep breath, she needed to take these steps, she needed to start the healing process for this particular wound, so she asked, "Calliope, will um…will you show me?" Snapping her head up, Callie couldn't hold back the smile. Arizona was asking to see her leg; she was accepting her love.
Callie took her hand, and said, "Come here." as she led the blonde to the other side of the table. She then proceeded to turn on the sensors and monitor. She looked at Arizona and said, "Touch it." Confused, Arizona reached her hand out and touched the leg again. This time, she saw the monitor light up and produce frequency waves. "Watch this." Callie said as she took an ice pack from the drawer under the table, activated it, and rested it on the calf. They both watched the monitor as the waves turned blue and slowed down. She then went to a cabinet and pulled out a hot pack. She activated it then placed it on the knee. Arizona watched as the waves turned red and sped up. "W-wait!" She pointed at the monitor, "It can sense temperature?" Callie's smile slowly split her face. "Oh, that's not even the best part." She winked. The blonde couldn't help but smile and feel a warmth run through her. "It has a vacuum seal, is 100% waterproof, lighter weight than the traditional prosthetic so it's safe for showering, bathing, even swimming, functional joints, and everything is controlled by the sensors attached inside the socket. Each sensor is aligned with the nerves and muscles in the individual's residual limb. If the amputation was performed properly, there's no need for surgery and no sensors inserted in the brain. Oh, and look!" Callie reached her hand toward the foot and touched the toes. She moved each individual toe one at a time. Then she reached into a drawer and pulled out a leather sandal that was designed to separate the big toe from the others. She carefully placed it on the foot and grabbed the leg and put it in a standing position. She then looked back at the blonde and said, "Will you reach in that drawer and hand me the other one?" Blinking, Arizona reached into the drawer and pulled out a black high heeled shoe that resembled a pair of her own which were deemed her favorite, but she rarely wore now. Callie replaced the sandal with the high heel, pushed a few keys on her laptop and they both watched as the foot bent slightly until it took the form of the sleek dress shoe.
Sapphire blue eyes widened and blinked back tears. The blonde shook her head. "May I?" She asked as she reached her hands out toward the leg. Callie nodded and moved to place the prosthetic into the hands of the person it was made for. Both women stood looking at one another. Callie froze with her hands mid-air holding the prosthetic as Arizona stood stock still with her hands outstretched. Each one knew the significance of this moment. It weighed on each of them like a ton of bricks. Arizona was looking at a leg that was designed to look exactly like the one she lost. A limb that she had come to recognize her ex-wife had not designed to 'fix' her or keep her as she was before the plane crash, but to help her feel physically whole again while regaining as much of the functionality as she could possibly simulate. At that very moment, it occurred to Arizona that the person who stood before her with this offering, was not a surgeon who designed a project to help her patient, but she was in fact the woman who loved her more than anyone else in the world ever had in ways no other ever could and wanted to help her heal while healing herself in the process.
Callie stood holding out the prosthetic leg seconds away from placing it in the hands of the woman who inspired it. The woman who she thought would never see it, let alone be excited about it. The woman who rejected the idea of the orthopedic surgeon healing her when, in actuality, she was just her wife who loved her so much she would do anything to make her stop hurting. At that moment, Callie finally admitted to herself that Arizona was the only woman who held the power to heal her heart. As she transferred the leg into those soft hands, she let out a sob to mirror that of the one who received it. Both women stood once again with tears streaming down their cheeks. These tears, both knew, were the final tears that would be shed over this particular heartbreak.
Arizona accepted the leg and sat on the stool nearest the table. She turned it over, took the shoe off, and inspected it thoroughly this time. She ran her hands along the smooth exterior, looked inside at the sensors lighting up with her movement. She bent the knee joint and the ankle joint. Finally, she visually inspected the markings that made this leg hers and hers alone. Placing the leg down gently, she shook her head in disbelief, looked her ex-wife in the eyes, and asked, "How did you…did you have a picture?" Callie's face turned a deep shade of red, "No, Arizona, I didn't need pictures to know what it looked like. I know every mark, scar, freckle, and dimple on your body. They are seared in my memory." As a flash of heat shot to her core, Arizona realized she was thrilled by her response but wasn't really surprised because she knew if she had to describe the other woman's body, she could do the same without hesitation. Even now, after all these years. Then she smiled and got a glint in her eye as she challenged, "Hmmm, I'm not sure I believe you." She knew her challenge was accepted when the brunette raised both eyebrows in surprise then lowered the left and arched the right and a sly smirk crossed those luscious lips.
As the taller woman stalked toward her, she also knew she was in big trouble. Swallowing audibly, she bit back a moan as strong arms wrapped around her waist and those talented fingers wasted no time in slipping underneath her scrub top. She was helpless to stop the groan of pleasure as her body was pulled into those soft curves and her breasts brushed up against Callie's own magnificent breasts. Callie lowered her head and nipped a soft earlobe before she whispered, "Rule number one, Arizona." She then proceeded to glide her mouth down a sleek pale neck, neither kissing nor licking, just barely brushing her lips against the heated skin. Her hands began to wander deliberately up a pale muscular back, fingers leisurely walking up the length as if searching for something. Finding the throbbing pulse point, she bit down lightly, her hot tongue brushing across the painful nip as she tapped on the blondes back with her right forefinger and murmured, "Right here is a large freckle, and here…" she paused as she drew her hand outward a couple centimeters and began circling, "Is a cluster of smaller, lighter freckles, just here below your left shoulder blade." She then brushed her lips around to the other pulse point and sucked briefly before she bit down eliciting a soft moan from the woman in her arms. Moving her left hand she followed a path up her spine and traced what she knew was a light white line about an inch long. Opening her mouth again, she moved to lick up the side of her neck and whispered in her ear, "This here is from a tickle fight with Tim when he backed you into a shelf." She continued lazily licking and biting her way back down and across the creamy skin until she reached the apex of the scrub top and nuzzled her nose underneath until she could see that lone freckle and swiped her tongue over it, then said, "This is my favorite spot to lick." Pausing for a moment, she corrected, "Mmm…second favorite." She then straightened her body and pushed her hips forward causing their mounds to press against each other to emphasize her first favorite spot. Lowering both hands to rest on small hips, she wrapped her fingers around the soft skin just above that amazing ass. She bent her fingers and felt the small moon shaped scars and smiled, "This is where your wife held on just a little too tightly as she was going down on you on your wedding night." This caused the blonde to giggle which turned into a moan when those hands moved lower and tightened around her ass effectively bringing her closer.
Callie slowly kissed a path back up and sucked on the blonde's bottom lip before letting it go with a pop. Looking into blue eyes darkened with desire, she whispered, "No, I never needed a picture to remember. This body, this gorgeous, amazing, sexy body is seared into my memory from countless hours of worshipping, loving, kissing, licking, and fucking you." Arizona's breath hitched as she felt the soft caress on her bare ass, and as it always had, Callie's touch sent shivers down her spine. Getting the reaction she wanted, Callie withdrew her hands, stood back and smirked, "So, do you believe me now?" Arizona smiled knowingly and said, "Oh, I believed you before, I just wanted to see you prove it." Throwing her head back, Callie burst into laughter. She sobered quickly when Arizona's hand slid up the inside of her left thigh and veered to the right just as she was about to touch her heated mound, her fingertips trailing the crease of her leg and stopping halfway to her hip. "This is where your wife bit you and drew blood, causing you to hold on a little too tightly as you went down on each other on your wedding night." Hearing the low moan, Arizona smiled brightly and stepped back as she chided, "Rule number one Calliope!"
Running her hand through the short black curls, Callie took a deep breath to calm herself and asked, "How about we go find the little one, grab some take-out, and go home to watch a movie?" Arizona nodded, "That sounds great." As the two women made their way to the door, Arizona stopped and looked back at the table in the middle of the room. Biting her lip, she knew she had to ask, this was all on her. "Calliope? Can I…can I have my leg?" Callie froze. Her heart was beating out of her chest, her palms were sweating, swallowing the lump in her throat, she whispered hoarsely, "You, ah…you want it?" Smiling softly, Arizona nodded and walked up to her ex-wife. Putting her hand on her soft tan cheek she said, "I would very much love to have it. If…that's…" Callie cut her off, "YES! Yes, of course it's okay. God Arizona, it's more than okay. I…" She trailed off as she tried to fight the tears. Leaning forward, Arizona kissed the lone tear away and whispered, "It's over now. Okay? That was the final tear that we will shed about this." Nodding in agreement, Callie smiled softly and leaned in to capture soft pink lips.