CHAPTER 2: The Smell of Sweet Olives

After a long morning of lectures, Usagi returned home, shutting the door behind her and dropping her heavy backpack onto the ground with a thud. She sighed heavily as she set her house keys onto the cat-shaped dish near the door, and then looked around the empty living room that she was used to sharing with Mamoru.

It was (mostly) clean and calming with its cream walls, soft white carpet, and bursts of green plants (fool-proof ferns and succulents picked out by Mako-chan). Usagi had been excited to decorate an entire home for the first time, so it was no surprise that the bookshelves and end-tables contained a mixture of porcelain bunnies, photos of her friends and family, rose-scented candles, and little signs with stars, moons, and inspirational sayings. One shelf- a favorite of hers and her guests that knew her well- was full of tiny plushies depicting Tokyo's favorite superheroes: Sailor V, the inner senshi, and of course, Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask. She couldn't pass up the chance to buy a toy version of herself, even if the person taking her money at the till didn't know it was her.

She loved her home. It made her feel safe and comfortable. However, with Mamoru across the ocean at university, she felt so lonely. Luna was a great companion, but since protecting and guiding the moon princess wasn't pertinent in this time of peace, Luna spent more of her time enjoying herself and her relationship Artemis. Usagi knew what it was like to be in love and didn't blame her.

She didn't want to bother her friends - they were busy with work, school, and their own lives.

And so, Usagi was left with her own thoughts.

She hated that.

"Luna?" She called hopefully. Not hearing a response, she plopped down onto the plush grey sofa and closed her eyes. She could hear the sound of her neighbor's footsteps above her and the faint humming of cars through the window. She pulled a velvet pillow close and heaved a large sigh. Catching a whiff of a soothing aroma, Usagi breathed in deep and smiled warmly at what she smelled. Sweet olives?

The memory startled her. Usagi gasped at the familiar smell and looked up just in time to see a small, softly-glowing butterfly flit past her. Its red glow radiated warmth, and the smell - like fresh, sweet olives - tickled her senses and sent a wave of comfort that flowed down her spine and pooled in her belly. She stood up quickly to follow, but as soon as her socked-feet touched the carpet, it was gone.

"What?" She whispered, looking around wildly. Suddenly the feeling of comfort was gone, and in its place, a sinking feeling weighed her down.

Had she imagined that?

Suddenly, the images came back to her; images she always fought so hard to push to the back of her brain. Her friends saying heartfelt goodbyes as they died. The Starlights screaming as they were hurt protecting Sailor Moon. Usagi closed her eyes tightly, squeezing so hard the lids began to ache. The feelings - loneliness, terror, guilt - all crashed down on her, and at that moment in her apartment years after these events happened, she felt as though she was there.

The smell of fragrant olives wafted up to her nose and she took a deep breath, allowing it to soothe her, caress her. She opened her eyes and in front of her on the granite counter top was an object she never expected to see again.

Usagi stepped closer and reached out with her soft hands to caress the small red pot. She ran her fingers over the cool, smooth texture, and dragged them across the holes that would allow smoke to escape. Moving her hands down to the raised, gold details, she looked in wonder at how beautifully-made this object was. She placed her hands on each of the elegantly curved handles, marveling at how these delicate, fragile-looking features could feel so sturdy.

She could picture the small child who carried this incense burner, with her bright pink hair and heart-shaped buns. This was the very burner that held Princess Kakyuu.

"Kakyuu," Usagi whispered. Her curiosity deepened and she called louder this time, "Kakyuu-san! Are you in there?"

Not hearing a response, Usagi leaned in and gently tapped the ceramic burner with the pad of her index finger. "Kakyuu-sama?" She lifted the lid off of the top and put her lips to the hole, "Heeellloooo? Kakyuu-san, are you okay?"

No response.

Usagi tilted her head so that her bright blue eyes could peer inside.

"Oh!" She gasped. Inside of the incense burner was a piece of rolled up paper.

"Ohhh..." She muttered and looked around quickly, though she knew no one had witnessed her talking to what she now knew was an inanimate object that did not contain a living person inside of it.

She took the tan-colored paper out of the incense burner and opened it. Her eyes widened at the first word that she read. Right away, she knew who this letter was from.

Odango,

We wanted you to have this token of our appreciation. You cared for Chibi-Chibi-chan and protected this burner, and in doing so, you protected our dear princess. We are forever grateful, and we think of you every day. Kakyuu-sama recently had a new one made for herself, and knew that this one would have a good home on Earth. She has bestowed her magic upon this burner. She says it's important that we can communicate with our friends and allies across the galaxy, if only to say, thank you. The princess doesn't read or write Japanese, but I would be happy to read your letters to her.

I have a lot of hope these days, thanks to you. I hope you are well. I hope your boyfriend is protecting you. I hope to see you again. I know that I could not replace him in your heart, but I hope that I was able to carve out my own special space, just like you did in mine.

Seiya

Usagi held the paper tightly and without knowing exactly why, she brought it to her face and took a deep breath. It smelled like the incense - relaxing, comforting… an escape from the tightness in her chest or the pit in her stomach that she usually felt when she thought back to that time.

She missed Seiya dearly, but those feelings were so clouded by guilt. She sighed, thinking of the look on his face the night she cried to him about missing Mamoru. Sometimes she wondered - another source of guilt - what would have happened if she had said, Yes, you can take his place. She felt terrible for letting him down. She felt guilty for feigning ignorance when they all said goodbye… but she told him not to do that, not to put her on the spot in front of Mamoru.

While Usagi, Mamoru, and her friends waited on the roof for Princess Kakyuu and the Starlights to arrive, she realized that she needed to go the bathroom. She thought she could wait, but each time she looked at her watch, she felt her bladder getting heavier and heavier. She wanted to be one of the first people to say goodbye, but now she wasn't sure if that would happen.

"Gomen, everyone," she muttered apologetically. Her friends just laughed fondly at Usagi's usual behavior. "It's fine, Usagi-chan," Ami said gently. "They're not here yet."

"But hurry up, Usagi! It's not a good look if the moon princess is late," Rei huffed, though Usagi didn't miss the joking warmth in her voice.

"Their princess is late. Usagi-chan can do what she wants," Makoto chimed in, giving Usagi a wink.

Mamoru squeezed her hand gently, "Do you need someone to accompany you?"

Usagi laughed, "No, Mamo-chan. I'm fine."

As she washed her hands, she thought she heard voices over the sound of the water. No one else should have been in the building, so she wondered if that was the sound of the Starlights and their princess making their way through the hallways on their way up the stairs. Without bothering with a paper towel, she found herself wiping her hands on her blue skirt as she rushed out the door. She froze when she saw a figure standing across the hallway, leaning against the wall in a blue uniform.

They stared at one another for what felt like an entire minute before Usagi stepped forward and gave Seiya a tight hug.

"Arigato," she murmured. "For everything."

She closed her eyes and leaned more into the hug when she felt his arms around her. Finally, remembering who was waiting upstairs, she let go and stepped back.

"We should get up there," she said softly, looking up to the roof of the school.

"Yeah, before we do, I just want to say goodbye," Seiya said gently. He reached forward and took Usagi's smaller hands into his own.

Usagi blushed a deep red, but she held on tight.

"I will miss you, Odango. So, so, much," he started. "I have to ask you… are you sure?"

Usagi lifted an eyebrow. "Sure about what?"

"That I can't replace him."

Usagi's eyes widened, her cheeks turned a deeper shade of red, and she sputtered, "I-I… Seiya, please don't say these kinds of things now, especially in front of Mamo-chan."

"I won't, Odango. I'm saying them now. Here, just to you."

Usagi sighed heavily. "Seiya-kun," she looked at him with pleading eyes. Don't do this to me, her eyes said.

"I won't make you say anything. I get it. You've been missing your boyfriend and he's back. Odango, I just need you to know that everything we went through, I would do it all over again for you. I love you, Usagi. Truly."

"Seiya-kun-"

Seiya lifted his hands to Usagi's cheeks, cupping them in his smooth fingers. Usagi closed her eyes. She wanted to pull away, she knew that she should have, but it felt so comforting to have him so close.

"You don't have to let me down, Usagi. You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know."

He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. Usagi let out a slow breath, but didn't move otherwise. When she felt his hands move away, she opened her eyes. He stood there with a smile and said, "Let's go say goodbye."

The fondness of the memory was clouded by how awful she felt. She often felt guilty about the memories she had with Seiya. Knowing that Mamoru had been dead all along made her feel as if she had done something wrong in forming a friendship with another man. Seiya was fun, creative, and carefree. They pigged out together, played silly games, and told each other immature jokes. Sometimes Usagi felt like they were more alike than she had realized.

She looked up and focused her eyes on a portrait of her and Mamoru at their engagement party just weeks after the final battle. Their smiles were happy, though Usagi always felt slightly uncomfortable when she looked at her eyes in that photo. There was something about it that she didn't like.

Suddenly, she felt awful. What would Mamo-chan think if he saw this? The first part was fine, but the last paragraph was… well, very obvious.

She folded the paper carefully and began to look around. She spotted last year's diary full of old dates and forgotten assignments on the bookshelf. She opened the book - a hard, matte white cover with a pastel-pink bunny on the front - and tucked the note inside.

"Now, where do I put you?" She asked herself, looking to the incense burner. She tried a spot on the bookshelf, but after looking at it carefully, she shook her head. The elegance of the burner didn't fit in with her cutesy, whimsical decorations.

She wasn't sure if it was the comfort of knowing that her friend was somehow on the other side, but she found herself walking it to her bedroom. While Usagi and Mamoru's bedroom held trinkets that reflected her cutesy animal-loving tastes, Usagi always felt that their bedroom was a little more grown-up than the rest of their house.

I want our bed to feel like a nice hotel, she had told him as they picked out a thick, pure white comforter, soft white sheets, and several plump pillows. The furniture in their bedroom was made from a darker wood than the other items in their home - a style that suited Mamoru. The couple also kept some of their more sentimental items in this room. When Usagi turned 18, her mother had gifted her with a set of mother-of-pearl combs which the young woman kept in a lacquered, red wood box on her dresser beside a picture of her family.

Usagi shifted the photo on her nightstand and then set the incense burner down beside it.

When she stepped back she couldn't help but smile at the elegant object.

The incense burner looked as though it was meant to be there.