Hello, everyone! To those in America who just celebrated Thanksgiving, I hope it was great! I didn't update last week, but I have a long chapter for you. Things are about to change... ;) Thank you to anyone who has reviewed or followed recently!

Chapter 5: Show and Tell

Usagi wasn't sure how or why she was running so far behind, but she knew that she incredibly late for school. She grabbed her pale pink messenger bag from its spot on the floor and slung it over her shoulder as she ran down the hallway and clomped loudly down the stairs. Just as her her hand reached the doorknob, she heard her mother call from the kitchen.

"Usagi-chan?"

"No time for breakfast, mom!" She called out, pausing briefly to look at herself in the mirror beside the door. The golden odangos perched on the top of her head were, surprisingly, very even. However, the large, navy blue bow on her Jubaan High School uniform was a little crooked.

"Usagi, did you forget that you have to take Chibiusa-chan to school?"

Usagi groaned with a deep sense of disappointment. "Mom," she whined, tilting the golden broach on her chest. "Can't you take her? I'm already late."

"This is your responsibility, Usagi-chan," Ikuko said, her usually warm voice was stern. "After all, she's your daughter."

Usagi's eyes widened at that statement.

How did she know that?

"M-mom, how-"

"We don't have time for this, Usagi." Ikuko turned away from Usagi who stood stuttering in the hallway, and called out, "Small Lady! Your mother is waiting for you."

When Ikuko turned back to look at her daughter, Usagi stumbled backwards into the door, panic settling into her stomach. Ikuko's kind, blue eyes, were now an icy shade of gray. It was then that Usagi noticed that her mother's white and green cotton apron was draped over a silky white gown. Before her eyes, her mother's waterfall of wavy lilac hair transitioned to cool, gleaming silver.

"What are you staring at like that Usagi?" Chibiusa asked, rolling her red eyes. She looked normal at least, dressed in a bright blue primary school uniform. "Let's go," she hurried Usagi, grabbing onto her hand and roughly pulling her outside.

At first Usagi couldn't put her finger on why her street felt so wrong. The more she focused on the houses, the darker and more decrepit they looked. Dry, yellowed lawns were surrounded by crumbling fences. When did her neighborhood start to look so rough? When she looked up at the sky, she noticed it was a hazy shade of green. Had it always been that color?

"Usagi-chan?"

Usagi looked down at Chibiusa. She was startled when she looked down to see that her own outfit had changed into a flowing white dress. It shimmered, and when she looked behind her, she could see two large, transparent wings. The sky's murky shade of green reflected on her gown and onto her pale arms, making her skin look ill.

"Usagi!" Chibiusa repeated her name, annoyed this time.

"Chibiusa-chan?" She asked, gently.

"Why don't you love me anymore?"

Usagi stopped in her tracks. Without another thought, she knelt down, feeling the concrete through the silk of her gown.

"Why would you say that, Chibiusa-chan? Of course I love you," she said, her voice taking on a fierceness she hadn't heard in a long time.

"Then why are you letting me disappear?"

Before her very eyes, the young, pink-haired girl began to evaporate.

"Chibiusa-chan?" Usagi cried out, reaching forward. Her hands went right through the young girl. Within seconds, the girl went from being translucent, into nothing at all.

"Chibiusa-chan!" She screamed.

Usagi woke with a start, gasping for air as she grasped at the empty space before her. It took a moment of searching - her eyes scanning the white walls, the light wood chairs, and then finally settling on a shelf full of sailor senshi plushies - before she realized that she had just woken up from a terrible dream.

She sat up, confused, as she realized that instead of in her comfortable bed of fluffy white pillows, she was sleeping on the gray couch. It all came back to her when her eyesight fell on the pile of green and red in the corner. She had been up past midnight hanging lights on the wall, wreaths on the doors, red velvet stockings above the fireplace, and then trying her very best to set up the Christmas tree.

The synthetic tree was a hand-me-down from her mother's storage room, and it wasn't as easy to set up as she thought it was. Yes, there were only three pieces, but she had the hardest time shoving the top piece into the bottom two tiers. With only a little bit of shame, she left two thirds of the tree sitting in the corner of the living room. The top tier and a bin full of decorations sat in another corner, waiting for Mamoru to come home.

She reached under the couch pillows to find her phone as it rang loudly to tell her that it was time to wake up. Looking at the time, she yawned. It was nearly time to pick Mamoru up from the airport. With anticipation building in her belly, she dragged herself off of the couch and and began to get ready.

When she finally stood in the doorway, putting a soft white winter hat on her head and putting on her jacket, she looked to her bedroom door and wondered if she had enough time to check the burner. She glanced at her watch. It was cutting it close, but she decided it was worth being just a few minutes behind.

She opened the lid and looked inside, smiling happily when she saw a rolled letter. Seiya spoke of a funny prank he and Star Maker played on Star Healer. At the end, Seiya had scribbled a quick mention of Mamoru - "I hope you have a good visit with your boyfriend. I can't wait to hear about how your American dinner goes." Quickly, Usagi folded the letter and put it in her pocket before grabbing a set of keys and then bounding out the door.

She was grateful that she only missed one turn and only had to circle the airport once before she parked Mamoru's red, two-door sports car and made her way to the baggage claim. She waited with a stomach full of nerves, gently thumbing the folded piece of paper in her pocket as she watched countless people riding down the elevator. When she finally spotted her fiancé with his tousled black hair and sun-kissed skin, she felt a jolt of excitement through her body.

"Mamo-chan," she cried out, making her way through the now-crowded concourse area to gather him into a tight hug. She felt his carry-on bag drop near her feet, and she relaxed into his warm embrace. When she closed her eyes, she could feel her worries melting away.

"You look so beautiful," he said softly, brushing her bangs away from her forehead. "Usako, I-"

The sunlight reflected off of the golden heart on her chest, and distracted, Mamoru's eyes widened. "Your broach," he said, surprised. With her coat unzipped in the warm baggage claim area, her pale pink sweater was exposed. Pinned to her chest, right above her heart, was the glittery compact that allowed her to transform into Sailor Moon.

"Yeah," she acknowledged, raising an eyebrow. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect to see you wearing it. When did you start?" He asked curiously, bringing his hand up to touch the golden compact. Suddenly, his blue eyes darkened and he asked with concern, "Do we have a new enemy?"

Usagi laughed gently and raised herself onto her toes so that she could plant a kiss on Mamoru's cheek.

"No, Mamo-chan. Nothing like that. I've been using my crystal often, but… I think it's best if I explain it all at home."

"Is this the 'exciting' thing you emailed me about?"

She simply grinned and nodded her head. She couldn't wait to share with him the magical object she kept on her bedside table.

"Do I get a hint?" Mamoru asked, his smile growing at the sight of Usagi's mischievous look.

"Sure, but I don't think it will help. It's something that lets me talk to friends from far away."

Usagi didn't miss the way that Mamoru eyes never left her face. Even when her blue eyes were focused on the road in front of their car, she could feel his eyes on her. Every so often, she would look from the corner of her eye and then smile.

"What is it?" She asked, giggling.

"I missed you," he said. "And, I don't know, Usako. You seem… you seem happier."

"You're here," she said. "Of course I'm happier."

Usually, Mamoru would have something to say about the way Usagi sat at the edge of the driver's seat, her chest pressed against the steering wheel. He might comment on her tendency to brake a little too hard, especially when she was talking. But instead, he relished listening to her talk animatedly about having coffee with her friends, cooking with Makoto, and Luna's trip to the mountains.

He gave her a bright smile and reached over, resting a gentle hand on her leg. "It's good to see you so happy," he said, giving her leg a gentle squeeze.

When the couple arrived at home, Usagi didn't waste any time. She rushed quickly to the bedroom, a curious Mamoru in tow. When she looked up, she realized he had stopped in the living room. No doubt, he was surprised that Usagi had put up so many decorations without him. As if on cue, he called out, "Usako, the house looks great!"

"Thank you, Mamo-chan, but come here!"

Usagi tossed her hat onto the bed and looked up at the sound of his bag being dropped on the floor. She looked to Mamoru, her hair now cascading loosely down her back and blue eyes wide and full of excitement. She noticed that Mamoru's eyes, intense and lustful, were focused on her soft, peach lips. She knew that look in his eye, but ignored it.

"Look, Mamo-chan," she urged in a low voice, looking down at the object in her hands.

He furrowed his eyebrows, curiosity taking over him as he stepped closer. "That is beautiful," he murmured, reaching out to touch the delicate-looking object. His fingers moved along the holes on the lid of the pot.

"An incense burner?" He asked, looking to his fiancée.

She nodded, her lips curved into a serene smile.

"Where did you get this?"

"It came from Kinmoku."

Usagi could see the cogs turning in Mamoru's mind. His eyes looked far away - searching, searching... until finally, a spark of recognition gleamed in his eyes. Surprised, he asked, "You mean from the Starlights?"

Usagi felt a light warmth spread through her body at the mention of her faraway friends. She nodded quickly, unable to contain the grin on her face. "Yes! Princess Kakyuu used her magic to bring it to me. She turned it into a communication device."

"A communication device?"

She nodded quickly. "Yes! Like… like a mailbox."

Usagi recognized the look in Mamoru's eyes. All hints of lust were gone, and in its place, wonderment. He was intrigued by this magical object.

"How does it work?" He asked, opening his hands, a request to hold the red incense burner. A part of Usagi wanted to keep it all to herself, but she gently placed it into Mamoru's larger, careful hands.

"I can show you," she offered.

She wasn't sure why, but a nervous feeling found its way into her body. She felt herself hesitate, but pushed through it, and sat down at the vanity desk. She could feel Mamoru behind her, his body pressing against her back as he leaned over to set the incense burner near her paper.

Hello from Usagi-chan and Mamo-chan! She wrote quickly.

"And then what do you do?" Mamoru asked as he watched Usagi's unsteady hand open the lid to the burner. "Careful, Usa," he urged as the lid scraped against the pot harder than she meant.

"I know, Mamo-chan," she muttered. She rolled the note up and slipped it into the burner.

Usagi let out a deep, shaky breath and closed her eyes. Why am I so nervous, she asked herself, frustrated.

"Usako, are you okay," Mamoru asked, looking at her in the mirror. She looked up, meeting his eyes. Suddenly, she knew.

"I'm nervous," she admitted.

Mamoru's eyes widened. Usagi realized she hadn't admitted these type of feelings to him since before he left for America. She couldn't even remember when she shared her feelings with him before that.

"I need to use my crystal and I'm so nervous I don't know if it will work."

Mamoru knelt down on the ground and gathered her small hands in his. "What is making you feel nervous?"

She looked down, "I usually don't have to think about it. I'm usually alone here. Now that I'm doing it in front of you, I'm worried I might fail."

Mamoru chuckled softly and brought her hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss on her skin. "Usako. You've used this crystal in life or death situations in front of me, in front of others... you can do it, Usa."

"I… I don't know, Mamo-chan." She focused on the warmth of his hands. "But I can try."

Usagi closed her eyes and placed a gentle hand on her compact broach. It took many deep breaths for it to happen, but soon she was able to feel a pulse of energy from the crystal, like a beating heart. Like she'd done in the past, she pictured the energy flowing into the vessel before her, and with a soft smile on her lips, she pictured a planet far away with pastel orange flowers and three moons shining in the sky. She opened her eyes just in time to see a stream of bright, shimmering light evaporate. A stray glimmer landed softly on her nose, causing it to twitch. While the crystal's energy was usually soothing, something about the way the light disappeared reminded her of Chibiusa disappearing in her dream.

The image replayed in her mind, filling her body with dread.

"That smell," Mamoru murmured, closing his eyes and breathing in the scent wafting from the burner. "Can I check it?" He asked.

It took Usagi a moment, but she forced a small smile and nodded her head. "Yes, look," she encouraged.

She was so wrapped up in the visions of last night's dream, that she didn't even feel proud when Mamoru gasped with amazement and said, "It's gone!"

Hours later, Mamoru found himself laying in bed staring at the ceiling, not feeling so refreshed. After making love to Usagi and taking a short nap, he still felt as tired as ever. His mind replayed how distracted his fiancée seemed. He didn't miss her false smiles or the lost, distant look in her eyes when she thought he wasn't looking. When Mamoru had arrived, he was surprised by how happy Usagi was at the airport, but soon, he found the familiar sadness in her that he had hoped would be gone by the time he arrived back in Japan.

"What are you thinking about?" He had asked, his voice slightly hoarse, nose pressing into her neck.

"I'm sorry, Mamo-chan," she murmured softly. He could feel her voice vibrating against his lips. "I had a bad dream last night that I can't shake off."

Mamoru was surprised to hear her admit this. She had nightmares for as long as they lived together, and she never shared a single one with him. He pulled away so that he could look at her face. Her eyes that were trained on the ceiling were now focused on him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked cautiously.

Usagi bit her lip and looked away. "Not really," she said. Quickly, as if a switch had been flipped, her eyebrows raised and she looked at Mamoru with renewed interest.

"Though… it was about Chibiusa-chan," Usagi said slowly. Expectantly. Her eyes were locked on Mamoru's with an intensity he didn't recognize.

Mamoru pictured his sweet future daughter with her round porcelain-pale cheeks, large crimson eyes, and soft pink hair. There was a time when he could hear her childlike but assertive voice in his head, reminding him of the sweet or silly things she used to say, but this time it sounded distant, like a soft echo. As quickly as that image appeared, so did the feeling he got when he checked his grades or sat down for an exam he didn't feel completely prepared for. The pressure of his future - being successful, being a husband, a father, and a king felt like a weight sometimes. It was comforting and motivating at times, but other times, it could be crushing.

"Whatever it was, Usako," he started, "It was just a dream. I'm sure Chibiusa is fine. Her parents are there to protect her." He paused, picturing a regal man in a silk, lavender-colored suit. "We're there to protect her."

Usagi's smile grew suddenly and the brightness that Mamoru missed returned to her cerulean eyes. She quickly climbed on top of him and planted joyful kisses on his lips.

"I'm so happy to hear you say that!" She cried.

With renewed energy, Mamoru was able to keep Usagi in bed for another thirty minutes before she climbed away, naked and smiling.

"I'm going to make you lunch," she announced, pulling on a silky pink robe. "Go clean up while I cook."

"You're going to cook?" He asked skeptically. His mind flashed to the last time Usagi tried to boil an egg. The egg was black, the pot was ruined, and their apartment smelled like smoke for a week.

"Yes, I'm going to cook. You'll like it, don't worry. Stop being rude and go take a bath," she shooed him before closing the bedroom door.

To his surprise, he did like it. After soaking in the tub and spending some time texting on his phone, Usagi had treated him to a lunch filled with English flavors. The potato was a little undercooked and the chicken was a bit too dry, but he had to admit that the flavors were delicious. Even though he was hoping for a real Japanese meal, he still appreciated the effort she put into it.

"This is delicious, Usako. Where did you learn how to make this?"

She smiled, "Mako-chan came over and taught me how."

Astonished, her asked her, "Makoto was here?" He had a hard time imagining Usagi inviting people to their home. It was usually him who had to plant the idea of inviting people over for dinner or to watch movies.

She smiled and nodded, "Of course, Mamo-chan. She's my friend."

The day felt so full and it was still early. Hand in hand, they walked to the Crown Arcade where they caught up with Motoki over coffee (Mamoru) and strawberry milk tea (Usagi). As word spread, gradually Mamoru's friends from school and work popped into visit, and soon the bar area was full of people vying for Mamoru's time. He looked to Usagi, who he knew under usual circumstances would be itching to get out of this social atmosphere and hide in the comfort of their home, but when he looked at her, she seemed like she was enjoying it.

He eyed her speaking animatedly to a boy that Mamoru used to tutor ("Wait, you know Tsukino Shingo? I'm his sister!"). She wasn't sending up flares or smoke signals in the form of begging eyes that she was ready to leave. They had been there for hours, but Usagi seemed comfortable. He would even go as far to say that she seemed like her old self.

Mamoru checked his watch before touching his fiance's shoulder and leaning in, "Call the girls. Let's go out for hot pot."

Soon, the nearest hot pot restaurant found Mamoru, Usagi, Motoki, Shingo, a handful of Mamoru's friends, Ami, Minako, and Rei (unfortunately Makoto was working the dinner shift that night) piling and squeezing into a large booth to share a meal of stewed noodles, meats, and vegetables.

That night when Usagi crawled into bed beside Mamoru, he was comforted by how happy she looked that day. As she curled up to him, he thought back to all of the great conversations and the photos they took with their friends throughout the day. Usagi thought of the same things. The only difference was that as she thought of these things, she looked to the burner and smiled, thinking of the words she would use to describe her wonderful day to Seiya.

Mamoru was in for another surprise when he woke up the next morning. When his eyes opened at 8:00 in the morning, Usagi was still sleeping soundly, her face covered by disheveled locks of blonde hair. He couldn't remember the last time she had slept through the night (he wondered if this was the first time or if this was a frequent occurrence), so to let her sleep, he carefully moved the covers away and tiptoed out of the bedroom.

Deciding to take this quiet time as an opportunity to do homework, he soon found himself sitting on the floor of the living room with his computer on the coffee table, sipping from a cup of warm green tea. Though eventually he heard stirring in the next room - feet padding across the carpet, doors closing, and the sound of the bathtub running - he continued to study.

He loved going to university and thought he understood the material well, but at times he had to admit that he struggled with the English. Coming across a word he was unsure about, he knew he had come across the same concept in Japanese, but couldn't remember the vocabulary. Suddenly, as if a light bulb went off in his brain, he quickly stood up and went to the bookshelf where he had gotten into the habit of keeping old notebooks full of his meticulous notes.

Mamoru crouched in front of the bookcase, not sure exactly what type of book he was looking for at first.

"Ah, there you are," he mumbled to the black soft cover book. As he pulled it out, he noticed another book - a small matte hardcover with a soft pink bunny - fall from the shelf. He couldn't help but smile fondly as he picked it up. This book with its silly little illustration reminded him so much of the sweet girl he fell in love with.

As he reached down to set the outdated agenda back on the shelf, a handful of loose pages fell to the floor. His curiosity piqued by browned edges, he picked them up and turned them over to the front. The paper was tan, thick, and with faint little lines that showed the material it had been made of. He noticed the sweet, earthy fragrance of the paper, and immediately recognized it as the soothing smell that came from the incense burner.

He didn't mean to read it, to invade Usagi's privacy, but his eyes fell over the lines of the ink.

Odango, he read, wondering who would call her that.

Mamoru saw the word boyfriend, and at once, became uncomfortable at the intimacy of the words written beneath them.

I know that I could not replace him in your heart, but I hope that I was able to carve out my own special space, just like you did in mine.

Mamoru's stomach dropped, but something deep in his chest made him pick up the next letter.

With each letter he pulled out, his heart sank a little bit more.

Mamoru walked quietly through the hallway and stopped at the doorway to his bedroom. Slowly he pushed it open and peeked inside to find Usagi sitting on their bed in a fluffy white towel, leaned over to rub cream onto her legs. She looked up and smiled, seemingly relaxed from her bath. On any other occasion, a scene like this would motivate him to take her to bed.

"Usako," he began, "What is this?"

Usagi paused as her brain tried to catch up with what she was looking at. As the smile fell from her lips, the panic set in, but then she reminded herself, Seiya is my friend.

"Letters from the Starlights, Mamo-chan. I told you about the burner."

"Usagi, these aren't just letters from the Starlights. They're letters from Seiya."

Usagi sighed. "Princess Kakyuu doesn't read or write, Mamo-chan. He writes for her."

"Why are you lying to me, Usagi? I read them. There's one letter from Kakyuu. The rest are letters from him."

An unfamiliar feeling pooled in Usagi's stomach. Her face felt hot and her head felt light.

"What are you suggesting, Mamoru?" She asked.

"I'm not suggesting anything, Usagi. I guess I'm asking why you're sending letters to another man while I'm 5,000 miles away at school."

"Seiya's my friend, Mamoru. He saved my life, remember? If you think about it, he saved all of us. What are you so worried about, he doesn't even live on the same planet as us." Usagi lowered her voice a bit as she added, "And not that it makes a difference, but now that you say that, I don't even know if Seiya was a man or a woman when they wrote those letters. I never asked."

Mamoru ran his hands through his silky black hair and took a long, deep breath. Though he had only spent less than five minutes with the Starlights, he witnessed the transformation from male student to female sailor senshi before his very eyes.

"Usako…" He closed his eyes. "I know I shouldn't be so worried. Look, Seiya's gender isn't the issue here. It just…"

Usagi eyed Mamoru curiously. Her body, stiff and defensive, wasn't ready to relax. "Just what?"

"He seems so carefree in these letters, and I can tell by his replies that you are too. Some of your writing is on the back. I just-" Mamoru paused to collect his thoughts. "You're so reserved with everyone else, including me. You used to confide in me."

His voice sounded smaller than Usagi had ever heard it, and it felt like a punch to her gut. "Why don't you talk to me anymore, Usagi?"

The guilt.

"Oh… Mamo-chan, I… I'm sorry," she muttered. "I… I don't know. Seiya - the Starlights - just bring back fond memories. I think about that year so much…" She hesitated, feeling exposed. "The incense burner and the messages from Kinmoku help remind me of the good parts."

"I don't have anything to worry about?" Mamoru asked curiously. He thought back to the first letter. While none of the other letters contained declarations of love or obvious references to a relationship like that one did, the flirtatious nature of Seiya's letters did not go over his head.

"Mamo-chan, of course not. Seiya is billions of light years away - I think, I don't even know where Kinmoku is. And he's my friend. Just my friend."

Mamoru narrowed his eyes. "You know he's in love with you, right?"

Seiya, please don't say these kinds of things now, especially in front of Mamo-chan.

Usagi looked up, sounding confused. "W-what?"

Mamoru laughed. Usagi wasn't sure if it was at her feigned ignorance or to hide his annoyance until he said, "It's so clear in his letters and in the way he said goodbye."

I wish I had met you sooner.

Usagi shook her head, "No, Mamo-chan. Our friendship is not like that."

I love you, Usagi. Truly.

Mamoru lifted an eyebrow. "Don't patronize me, Usagi. His first letter implies that he tried to replace me."

Can I replace him?

"He did want to, Mamo-chan, but I said no. That night I was so upset because I missed you. I hadn't heard from you in so long and I just needed to talk to someone about it. He knew I had a boyfriend, but he didn't know you. He thought you were just some older boy that just stopped talking to me and had moved on to college, Mamo-chan, but I knew better. Please understand... we're just friends. And even if he does like me, it doesn't matter. I have you."

There was something unspoken between them. They both thought of the pink-haired child, holding hands with her loving parents.

Mamoru dropped the book onto the nightstand, right beside the incense burner before he sat down. "I'm sorry, Usako. This long-distance has been hard for me," he admitted. "Honestly, I'm glad you're opening up to someone. You have so much inside of you and sometimes I get scared that it's going to eat you alive."

Usagi didn't know how to respond. Her sadness was an issue that everyone usually tip-toed around. Mamoru added firmly, "I just wish that it were me."

Usagi looked at him through worried eyes. She bit her thumbnail as she looked down at the carpet, feeling ashamed for hurting his feelings and for not being able to open up to him. She wanted to, but she worried so much about it. What if he doesn't understand? What if he hates Seiya? What if he hates me? Will he blame me for not telling anyone about his disappearance sooner? Will he be upset that I didn't end the fight sooner, and that I was the cause of so many people dying or getting hurt? What if Crystal Tokyo doesn't happen? What if I never have Chibiusa?

She took in the distraught look on his face and said in a small voice, "I'll try, Mamo-chan. I'll try to open up more."

She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Mamoru's neck, leaning down to give him a gentle kiss on the top of his black hair.

He breathed in her scent and leaned into her embrace, but in the back of his mind, he didn't believe her.

Usagi didn't know if she believed herself either.