CHAPTER 10: IN THE DARK

Usagi had the first sleepless night that she'd had in weeks. She spent most of the night trying to find a comfortable position, squeezing her eyes shut as she tossed and turned beneath the covers. Sometimes she would feel herself drift off to sleep, but when she would wake with a jolt through her body, she would look at the clock and see that not even an hour had passed. Even Luna, bless her heart, got up from the bed in the middle of the night to find a calmer place to sleep.

When the sun rose and she decided she couldn't stand to be in her bed any longer, Usagi decided it was time for a snack. With a rumbling stomach she took a jar of peanut butter out of the cabinet. As she opened it, her phone chimed to let her know that she had a new email. She leaned against the counter and began to scroll through the short message from her fiancé.

How are your friends? He asked. Anything new happening? I haven't heard about them in awhile.

She felt a heavy weight settling on her chest. How could she avoid the subject of the visiting alien when he was so direct? With a sigh, she hit 'reply' and started to draft an email that she knew would result in an awkward conversation later.

Seiya is visiting from Kinmoku.

Thankfully, Usagi's message was interrupted by another notification on her screen.

SEIYA CALLING…

Her stomach fluttered, and without hesitation, she took the call (though in her mind, she was sure to thank the divine being that intervened on her behalf and saved her from having to write that uncomfortable email just yet).

"Seiya-kun!"

"Morning, Odango, I'm glad you're up. How are you?"

"I'm good, Seiya. I'm really sorry about Rei-chan yesterday. I don't know what she said to you but I know it was out of line, and I'm really really sorry," she rushed out. She held the phone between her ear and shoulder as she picked up a knife from the counter and began to spread a giant glob of peanut butter onto a slice of bread.

"It's fine," he answered, his usually light-hearted voice wavering. "I know she's just trying to be a good friend."

"Yeah, but she doesn't have to be such an ass about it," she said, slathering jam onto the other slice. She took a big bite of her completed sandwich.

"It's fine, that's old news. What are you doing today? I'm heading to the studio to record that song with Minako. She told me you might be coming?"

"Oh, that's today," Usagi murmured around bits of bread and peanut butter, looking up at the calendar that hung on her kitchen wall. She remembered Minako, bubbling with excitement, calling to tell her about the song Seiya invited her to sing on.

"Do you want to come? It's not really professional to bring friends to another musician's studio, but I don't think Seiya would mind you being there!" She said happily.

"Sure, just tell me when and where."

"Yeah, I still want to come."

"I'm going in an hour before Minako, so I'll pick you up. Are you hungry? We can get breakfast on the way."

Usagi looked down at the half-eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich in her hand.

"I could eat," she said before taking another bite.

"Great, I'll be there in 30."

This wasn't Usagi's first time in a recording studio, but it was always an exciting experience to be there. She loved music, but had to admit that she didn't have a talented bone in her body when it came to performing it. Sometimes when she closed her eyes she could imagine herself singing into a microphone, but being realistic, she knew that her voice was best left for the shower. Nevertheless, her body felt buzzed with anticipation from the moment she set down the phone. She felt like it was such a special place.

Later that morning, after using some concealer on her still-bruised eye and chowing down on omuraisu in the back of Seiya's car, Usagi found herself watching the people around her as she sat on a soft leather couch toward the back of the room. Standing near the glass partition was Minako's manager: a handsome, older man who went by the name of James. Every now and then he picked up his phone and snapped a photo, documenting his client's studio time with the pop star Kou Seiya.

The other man in the room was the producer, Daichi. He was a younger, pale man with a mop of curly brown hair and intense brown eyes. Sometimes Usagi would have to remind herself that this boyish-looking guy was an award-winning producer worth more money than she could dream of. Before him was a large panel lit up with pulsing lights. Usagi watched his steady hands as they moved sliders, turned knobs, and pushed buttons. The idea that a person could have memorized every feature and function on this piece of equipment made her head hurt. Usagi could barely make out some of the labels on the panel - abbreviations and shortened words that didn't mean anything to her.

A clear glass window separated the room she was in from a space with soft warm lighting, padded walls, and microphones. When Usagi looked through the glass, she could see Seiya and Minako on the other side. When she had first laid eyes on Seiya that morning, she admired the way that some boys could dress down and still look incredibly stylish. He was cute in his black jogging pants and fitted white t-shirt. It was a little chilly in the studio, but she knew the black beanie pulled over his hair was more for looks than function. As he stood in the vocal booth, he wore a large pair of black headphones that sat snugly over his ears. Beyond the metal stand, which Usagi assumed held a sheet with lyrics, she could see Seiya's navy blue eyes focused intently on the producer's face. Daichi spoke in a low voice through a microphone on the sound panel. A pen in hand, Seiya looked down and scribbled notes onto the sheet before him.

Minako had dressed up more that day. She stood across from Seiya with her own set of headphones in a tight knee-length red skirt, red high-heeled pumps, and a shimmery silver top. Her signature red bow was resting on the music stand beside her own sheet of lyrics. Daichi gave her notes on changes she should make, and she nodded seriously with focused eyes. She looked to Seiya then, and they began to practice the change, watching each other's lips as they harmonized a line to the song that Seiya wrote.

"Much better, guys. Let's try that again from the line 'Are we turning our back on what could be forever'," the producer called out.

Finally settling on a compromise, music started to flow through the speakers, and Seiya began to sing. When Usagi closed her eyes, she almost felt like she could feel Seiya's voice in her body as he sang a song about saying goodbye to someone he loved. When Minako joined in, Usagi felt a chill down her spine and little bumps rising on her skin. Minako sang with her hands to her chest, her eyes locked on Seiya's, her voice dripping with sadness. The lyrics — an answer from the woman that Seiya sang to in his song — were somber. Their voices intertwined to tell a story of two people who still loved each other but couldn't get along anymore. They had to end it, but wondered if they'd be missing out.

"Why did we say goodbye?"

She wondered briefly if that song had anything to do with her, but then shook that idea off. That didn't make sense. Was it a metaphor for Kinmoku? Had he had a lover there?

Her speculating thoughts were interrupted by the vibrating in her pocket. She pulled out her phone and glanced at her screen, her eyebrows raising at the name on the display.

She never calls me, Usagi thought to herself.

"That was great," the producer said, stopping the music. "Let's do it again from the top."

Hoping not to disturb anyone, Usagi quietly got up from her seat and slipped out the door, finding herself in a long hallway. She made her toward a bench that she remembered passing on her way in, and was grateful to find it empty of other people. She quickly redialed the number.

"Hi, Haruka-chan! Is everything okay?"

"I don't know, Koneko. You tell me."

Surprised and rather confused by that response, Usagi hesitated for a moment. "What do you mean?"

"I talked to Mamoru-san recently."

"Okay... that's good. How was he?"

"He had a lot of questions about Kou."

"Oh," Usagi's could feel her heart skip a beat. "What kind of questions?"

The idea that Mamoru would be fishing for information behind her back sent her stomach for a loop. She bit her bottom lip and furrowed her eyebrows as she searched for the right word to describe how to feel. Betrayed? No, betrayed wasn't the right word. Did he think she was untrustworthy?

She thought back to every opportunity she had to tell him about Seiya's presence on Earth. Did she even have the right to be upset?

"Usagi-chan… why didn't you tell Mamoru that Fighter was back on Earth?"

She stumbled over her words. Why didn't she? She didn't know.

"I-I didn't think it was that big of a deal," she answered hesitantly.

"I think if it wasn't that big of a deal then you would have told him," Haruka replied sternly. "Usagi-chan, I don't expect you to tell me everything - or anything, honestly, because you haven't done much of that these days, but I just need to know. Is there anything going on between you and Fighter?"

"Woah, what? Excuse me? Of course not, why would you even ask me that?"

"I need to know if he's a threat or not."

"A threat? A threat to what?!"

"A threat to our solar system. To our future."

"Our future?" Usagi clenched her fist to keep it from trembling.

"I'm so sick of the future being held over my head!" Remembering that she was in a public space, she breathed out through her nose and asked desperately, "Why does the future get to dictate how I live now? Don't I deserve to create my future rather than have it created for me?" She squeezed her eyes shut, already regretting the words that came from her mouth. She wished she could reach out and grab them, pulling them back in to her chest. "I-I'm sorry, Haruka-san, I got… I'm so sorry. I want that future. I promise that I do. I want Crystal Tokyo to exist and I'm not trying to jeopardize that," she said quietly, her voice trembling with anxiety.

There was a long pause on the other side of the phone. Usagi guessed that her guardian was taking time to process her mini meltdown.

"Princess... It's our duty to do the best that we can for this world, and what's best for this world is Crystal Tokyo. I know that you love Mamoru, and I would hate to see a rift caused in your relationship because of some outsider who can't take a hint."

The word outsider hit her in a way she didn't think it could. Her heart ached to know that Seiya could fight for their world and still be considered an "outsider".

"That's not fair, Haruka. He's not an outsider. He's a senshi. He's one of us."

"He may be a senshi, but he's not one of us. His presence brings complications."

Usagi sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted with the conversation. "Seiya is my friend. There aren't any complications, Haruka-chan. You guys are the ones making it weird."

There was a short pause before Haruka added coldly, "I don't like that he's here."

"Well, it's a good thing it's not up to you then, because I like him here. He's welcome and I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"We appreciate what he's done, Princess, but why is here here? It doesn't feel like a normal visit to me."

"I said I don't want to talk about it anymore, Haruka. I made my decision," she said, speaking that last part with as much confidence as she could manage. She hoped that Haruka could pick up the intention in her steady voice. I'm the princess, she wished she had the courage to say. I have the final word.

Haruka sighed, and Usagi was relieved to hear the defeat in her voice. "I understand, but I will be watching him."

"I don't expect anything less from you, Ruka-chan."

Usagi caught Seiya's eye when she sneaked back into the room, but she was grateful that he was otherwise occupied and quickly turned his attention back to Minako. Maybe she didn't look as bad as she felt, but as her heart raced, her head pounded, and nausea teased her stomach, she felt like something was horribly wrong. No matter how hard she tried to focus on the catchy melody or the way Seiya's and Minako's voices sounded together, she was caught up in her own thoughts. She was so lost in them that she didn't realize the session was over, not until the singers left the vocal booth and entered the control room.

"You did amazing, Minako-chan." Seiya said, giving the girl a warm hug. James was sure to snap a picture of the moment.

"Oh, Seiya!" When she stepped back, she gave him a very respectful bow. "Thank you so much for this opportunity!"

"You're a great friend and a talented singer. I couldn't think of anyone else I'd want to do this song with."

Minako beamed and jumped in for another tight hug. Pulling back, she looked to Usagi and asked, "Need a ride home?"

"Hm? Um," She swallowed, her mouth dry. Finally processing the question, she shook her head and said, "No, I left some stuff in Seiya's car. Thank you though."

The group talked business for another moment before James and Minako left. Daichi gathered his backpack and slung it over his shoulder as he looked to Seiya. "Need anything before I go?"

"No, I'll listen to what we did today and I'll text you any notes I have," Seiya said with a smile.

When the studio door closed, Seiya sat down on the rolling chair that the producer had occupied earlier and scooted it closer to the couch. Usagi looked up with anxious eyes.

"Okay, what happened?"

"Huh?"

"You've looked so uncomfortable since you came back. Talk to me."

With a sigh, Usagi explained the reason for Haruka's call.

"She actually asked you that?" Seiya asked in disbelief.

"I didn't mean to keep it a secret for so long. Obviously it could never be a secret-you're famous. I kept putting it off and just wasn't thinking." Usagi sighed and hugged her knees closer to her chest. "I didn't tell you this because I didn't want you to feel bad, Seiya-kun, but… Mamoru read some of the letters you sent me and he got really mad."

Seiya's eyebrows rose. "Why would he be mad?"

"Well, I mean... the first time he met you, you kind of made it obvious that you liked me. And then you referenced it in some of your letters." A soft, red blush crept onto her nose and cheeks.

"Oh. Is that why you didn't tell him?"

"I don't know. I guess I… I just wasn't ready to deal with the skepticism. I feel like people are always judging our friendship, I…" She stumbled over her words as she tried not to let the tears fall from her eyes.

"You don't have to explain it to me, Odango. I think I understand." Seiya expelled a long sigh. "I didn't mean to cause you so much trouble."

"You're not causing trouble. I caused trouble by not being up front with Mamo-chan. And Haruka… well, Haruka is stirring the pot."

"I really like it here on Earth," he said quietly. Usagi couldn't help but notice how vulnerable the Starlight sounded. "But I could go back if it's too much."

"No, Seiya-kun," Usagi rushed out, moving closer to take his hands in hers. "I want you to stay. They're just trying to protect me. It'll get better."

"I don't want to make your life harder than it already is, Odango."

Usagi laughed. "My life isn't hard, Seiya."

"You like to pretend it's not, but it is. I see it in your eyes all the time."

The smile fell from her face as she dropped her hands into her lap. Sometimes it was comforting to know that Seiya could see through her. It made it easier for her to open up to him, but she hated when he called her out on what he saw.

"When are you expected back on Kinmoku?" Usagi asked suddenly. Though Haruka's brashness bothered her, there was a comment that stuck with her. This doesn't feel like a normal visit to me, she had said. As Usagi spent more and more time with the alien, she began to wonder the same thing. After all, why would Seiya put so much energy into restarting his career for just a visit?

His reaction wasn't what she expected. He leaned forward to rest his head in his hands and closed his eyes. He mumbled something through his hands that she couldn't understand.

"Mmmno."

"What?"

When he lifted his head, Usagi noticed that his nose and cheeks were flushed. "I'm not," he said slowly.

"What? What do you mean you're not? You're not what?"

"I'm not expected to go back."

Taken aback, Usagi stared at the Starlight with wide eyes. "What do you mean?! Why aren't you expected to go back?"

"I have been released from the Princess' service." Quickly, he added, "It was on my own terms. I wasn't kicked out or anything. After we returned home and rebuilt Kinmoku, Princess Kakyuu knew I wasn't happy and she gave me a choice. I was free to go wherever I wanted, and I chose to come here. I left with her blessing."

The gravity of what Seiya was telling her was too much for her brain to handle. She tried her best to control her facial expressions, but she couldn't stop the way her eyebrows rose toward her blonde bangs, or how her mouth hung slightly open. "Wh-what? I don't understand this, Seiya-kun. Why would you want to leave Princess Kakyuu? Why weren't you happy?"

"I love Earth so much, Odango. Being here and being Kou Seiya feels so right. I feel like me. Princess Kakyuu saw that. I can go back if I want to, but I don't. I want to stay here." He took Usagi's hands in his, gripping them tightly. "Usagi-chan, I could help you and your guardians protect Earth. I know I'm not from here, but I'm a good soldier and I'm loyal. You know that. I love my princess and I love being Fighter, but I need to be Seiya too. I can't do that there. It's one or the other on Kinmoku, but on Earth I can choose both."

So many feelings swirled within Usagi's body at once, crashing against each other, each gasping for air at the surface. She felt excitement at the prospect of having her dear friend stay on Earth for an extended time. Sadness for the life he left behind. Relief that she would have someone nearby to connect to. She noticed, interestingly enough, a fear that he wouldn't adapt and would return home to Kinmoku. She didn't want to lose her friend again.

"This is a lot, Seiya-kun," she began. She looked down at their hands and gave his a squeeze. "But you're always welcome here. You can stay as long as you like."

Seiya gave a small, almost nervous smile. "That's good. Honestly, I didn't think your friends would let me stay. I guess it helps to know the princess that runs it all."

She let out a very unlady-like, sarcastic snort. "You would think I would get to make the rules around here and run things."

"Why don't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's like with Tenou. I'm sure you respect her opinion, but you don't have to base all your decisions off of how she feels. People can have opinions without it dictating your life or the way you rule your kingdom." Seiya shrugged. "You're the princess around here, right? They answer to you, not the other way around."

"I don't like the idea of them answering to me," Usagi said meekly. She respected her friends and wanted them to feel comfortable sharing their opinions with her. She didn't want to be a ruler that didn't listen to her people. "My duty as a princess is to do what's best for them."

"I'm not saying that you should be a dictator that only serves herself." Seiya paused, thinking something over as he unscrewed the cap to his ridiculously overpriced glass bottle of water. "Princess Kakyuu always listened to me. I always felt heard and I knew that even if we didn't see eye-to-eye, she would take my advice into consideration. But at the end of the day, I knew she would do what she thought was right. And I certainly wouldn't have tried to control who she talked to or spent her time with."

"I think your relationship with Princess Kakyuu is a little more formal than my relationship with my senshi," she murmured. "But I see what you're saying."

"You're going to have so many people around you, Usagi-chan, and they're all going to have an opinion on how you should do things. As a queen, you're going to have to learn how to take advice but still listen to yourself above all."

The blonde nodded and closed her eyes. He was right. How could she rule if she did everything that everyone wanted her to do? That would be impossible.

"Why are they so obsessed with Mamoru anyway?"

While Usagi should be getting used to the musician's bluntness, his question caught her off-guard. Hesitantly she answered, "His star seed is the one that guards this planet, remember?"

"So, they're his guardians?" Seiya asked, confused.

"Well, no. They're mine."

"Then why is it so important to them that you two get together? Why does it have to be him?"

She stuttered as she tried to be quick with her response, her eyes wide. "I-It doesn't have to be him. I love him, Seiya."

"I know that, Odango. I just don't understand why everyone you know has a hand in your relationship."

Usagi looked intently into Seiya's eyes. She wanted to explain everything, but somehow she knew that he wouldn't take it well.

"They just really care about us."

He was quiet, his eyes never leaving his blonde friend as he considered her answer. Finally he shook his head and said, "No, there's something big that you're not telling me, Odango. I can tell."

"Seiya… There is a certain future that we're working toward," she began, closing her eyes to find the words. How could she possibly explain this concept without sounding like she was insane? How does she explain that she broke the rules of time and saw her own future? That she met and even lived with her 900 year-old daughter who hadn't been born yet?

"All we know is that Mamoru and I, together, make that future happen."

"So are you together because you love each other or because you're trying to make this 'future' happen? What is this future?"

"I love him, Seiya-kun. I truly do."

Seiya looked at Usagi for a long while, making her feel shy and uncertain. He must not have found what he was looking for, because suddenly he turned away from Usagi and shook the black computer mouse on the desk beside the sound panel, waking up a monitor. His dark eyes were trained on the squiggles and curves in front of him.

"If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. We can get out of here soon. I just have some things to finish up before we go."

"You're upset," Usagi said, trying to get a good look at the man's face. He kept his eyes on the computer screen in front of him.

"I just really hate it when you're not honest with me, Odango. I'm trying not to take it personal, I promise."

"I'm not trying to be dishonest, Seiya. It's just a lot to explain and half of it I don't even understand myself."

"Okay."

"Do… do you want me to leave?" Usagi asked quietly.

Seiya sighed, and though he was trying to be patient, Usagi could clearly hear the annoyance in his voice. "No, I don't want you to leave, Usagi. I really do have some work to do, but it's also so frustrating that you're holding back and I just want a little space so I can stop being mad about it. I'll leave it up to you, though. If you wanna go, I can call Arashi now to take you home."

Wanting to avoid the awkwardness of having him call the driver early, she instead subjected herself to the awkwardness of sitting in the studio while Seiya ignored her. Great choice, Usagi, she chided herself. As Seiya listened to the studio recording on a pair of headphones for another thirty minutes, Usagi idly scrolled through pictures on her phone.

"Okay, I'm ready," he said finally, setting the headphones down and powering off the computer. "Arashi's downstairs. Let's go."

Without a word, Usagi got off the couch and followed him through the door. The walk down the hallway and the ride down the elevator was so silent, Usagi could barely stand it. Seiya watched the tile floor as the elevator slowly descended, and all Usagi could hear was the sound of her own anxious breathing and the too slow beeps of the elevator as it passed each floor.

The ride wasn't any better.

Seiya sat in his seat with his eyes trained on the window. He stared at the passing landscape, his eyes looking thoughtful and a little bit tense. When the car stopped in front of her apartment building and the driver got out to open her door, Seiya turned to her and said, "I'm not mad at you. I'm just annoyed. I feel like you usually tell me everything, and it feels weird to be shut out."

"I told you. It's a lot to explain."

"It just sounds a lot like a political marriage. Is that what's going on?"

Usagi thought about this for a moment. Was it? She'd still be queen of the Moon Kingdom because it was her birthright, but would she be the queen of Crystal Tokyo if she and Mamoru didn't get married? He was Earth's prince, and as far as she knew, Crystal Tokyo was Earth's capitol. But, could Crystal Tokyo even be created without her? Her inner musing was interrupted by the door opening beside her, Arashi waiting for her to exit.

"No, politics don't have anything to do with my feelings," she said with a lowered voice. She believed it, but for some reason, it didn't feel right when she said it.

"Maybe not to you, but it seems like it does to your friends."

Usagi turned to Arashi and asked politely, "Can we have a moment alone, please?" With a quick, professional nod he gently closed the door.

She turned back to the musician and looked at him with tired eyes. "What do you want, Seiya? I don't know what to say."

"Will you promise me something?"

"Depends on what it is."

"I want you to promise me that you won't marry him if you're not really in love with him."

She huffed, her mouth agape as she looked at her very bold, dark-haired friend. "That's a stupid promise, Seiya. And it's rude. I do love him."

"So then it should be an easy promise to make."

"This is so absurd, Seiya. I have things to do," she said as she put her hand on the door handle, ready to make her escape. With pursed lips, she studied his face. His expectant, almost smug look felt like a challenge that she couldn't back down from. With great, exaggerated annoyance, Usagi huffed again and rolled her eyes before conceding.

"Fine, fine," she grumbled. "I promise."

Seiya held out his hand, balled it into a fist, but left his pinky sticking out. "Pinky promise," he said.

"Are you serious?"

"Do I look like I'm joking? Pinky promise, Odango."

She hooked her slender pinky through his, looking him straight in his blue eyes. "I pinky promise that I won't get married if I don't love him."

"No, not if you don't love him. If you're not in love with him."

She wished Seiya wasn't so blunt.

"I pinky promise, and now I have to go," she rushed out, pulling the handle on the door. Arashi tried to open the door the rest of the way to help her, but she was in such a hurry to flee that she almost knocked him over in the process.

As she stomped her way up the stairs to her apartment, she realized that she was carrying a new set of anxieties. Her mind raced, thinking of all the ways her next conversation with Mamoru could go. Would he be angry? Sad? Would he hang up on her? Would he break up with her? The possibilities took her breath away. Her mind refused to show her any kindness, and in the moments that she wasn't thinking of her relationship being destroyed by her friendship with Seiya, she couldn't stop herself from dwelling on the pinky promise she made in the car.

Of course she was in love. She was getting married because she was in love! Serenity and Endymion were madly in love, and so were she and Mamoru.

She calmed herself with a cup of herbal tea before mustering the courage to send Mamoru a message.

Up for a video chat?

When she received his quick reply, she sent the request.

"Out of one hard conversation and into the other," she muttered to herself, listening to the sound of the video app ring.

"Usako," Mamoru greeted, seemingly a little surprised.

"Hi Mamo-chan," she replied with a forced smile.

"What's wrong?"

Usagi closed her eyes and gave a soft, shaky sigh. "I talked to Haruka today and I just really wanted to call you and tell you that I'm sorry for not telling you that Seiya was here."

"Okay." He paused for a moment, seeming to gather his thoughts. Sometimes Usagi appreciated that about Mamoru- he would rather take the time to think his words over than speak on pure emotion. Sometimes though, it was nerve-wracking to wait for his response. Finally, he continued with, "I have to ask this: why didn't you tell me in the first place?"

"After the incident with the letters… I didn't want you to be upset or jealous."

He shook his head, the irritation clear on his handsome face. "Not telling me the truth about him being on Earth really doesn't stop me from feeling jealous."

"I know, I know. I'm really sorry, Mamo-chan," she said, bowing her head slightly. "Seiya is my friend and I get very tired of defending our friendship. I didn't know how you would react and I assumed the worst without giving you a chance. It wasn't fair."

"No, it wasn't. It's not okay for you to keep really important things from me like that. It hurts, Usako."

She quickly brushed the tear away from her cheek. "I know. I'm sorry, Mamo-chan."

"Has he hit on you at all?"

Usagi frowned. "Mamo-chan, no. Not at all. That's not what our friendship looks like. He's been a very respectful friend to me. I promise."

"Then why is he here? Is there danger?"

"Oh, well," she hesitated, "I don't think it's my place to explain Seiya's story, Mamo-chan, but from what I gather, he wasn't happy at home and so he's come to earth."

"Is he staying?"

Usagi answered with a simple nod. Mamoru ran his long fingers through his neat, black hair. She realized that she had just added on to his stress. Her fiancé knew her better than most people. He had to know that she would never turn away anyone who wanted to stay on Earth, especially someone who had given so much of themselves for her safety. Finally, he asked, "Haruka said that she heard you two were spending a lot of time together?"

"Yes, that's true. We hang out, Mamo-chan. We eat and talk pretty much."

"What do you two talk about?"

Usagi bit her lip, stopping herself from throwing out an unhelpful retort. What do you talk to your friends about, she wanted to ask. She thought for a moment. "We talk about school and music... uhm, Kinmoku... videogames, what it's like to be a senshi, food…"

"Do you talk to him about your nightmares?"

She looked shocked for a moment.

"I… n-no," she mumbled. Why was he asking this? "They haven't come up." Her throat felt dry, but she swallowed and added quietly, "I haven't had much of them these days anyway."

Mamoru unclenched his jaw, his body relaxing a bit. She thought of the letters and the sad look in Mamoru's eyes when he asked, "Why don't you talk to me anymore?" She had comforted his jealousy for now, but for how long? She didn't want to talk about her nightmares with anyone, not even Seiya.

"It was probably really hard for you to call me and apologize. Thank you, Usako. I hope you understand that it's hard for me know that while I'm far away, there's a man there who's also in love with you. Someone who, according to Haruka, relentlessly pursued you while I was gone."

"Mamo-chan, that was different. We were so young! If he knew you back then or even the reality of what had happened to you, I don't think he would have done that."

He nodded, looking down at his desk as he thought this over.

"If he does or says anything inappropriate, I want you to tell me. Don't leave me in the dark."

"Okay."

Mamoru sighed and took a long look at the woman on his screen. Though she looked pretty, she knew that she looked sad and tired. Holding back just enough was draining. Admitting her mistakes was even worse. Thankfully, her prince took pity on her and said with gentleness, "Let's talk about something else for awhile, okay? Tell me about your day."

Usagi wanted to laugh when she realized that her day revolved around Seiya yet again, but held it inside. She was sure to mention that she had gone to a recording studio to see Minako and Seiya record a song together. Mamoru was interested and asked questions, and she could tell that Minako's presence made him feel better about how she spent her day. She was careful not to mention the awkward conversation they had afterward. She definitely didn't mention the pinky promise in the car. After all, that's not what
Mamoru meant by 'inappropriate', right? He was rude, but I don't think he was hitting on me, she thought to herself.

"I'm glad that you're having those fun experiences and spending so much time with your friends," he said with sincerity.

The rest of their conversation was filled with lighthearted small talk, and when she closed her laptop, she was able to breathe out some of the anxiety she had brought home with her. She laid back on her couch and stared up at the ceiling for the longest time, only looking away when she heard the gentle sound of her balcony door sliding open.

"Luna," she greeted, waving her hand. Luna bounced onto the couch and greeted the blonde with a gentle nuzzle to the leg.

"What are you doing, Usagi-chan?"

"Just thinking." She was quiet for a moment before her blue eyes, shining in the darkening living room, looked to the black cat. "What do you think the difference is between loving someone and being in love?"

"Well..." Her large eyes were thoughtful. "You can love anyone and everyone. When you love someone they're like your family. You'll do anything for them and do anything to protect them. No matter how annoying they get, you still care about them. But being in love is different." She cocked her head, her red orbs connecting with Usagi's blue ones. "It's when they're more important than anything else in the universe and you can't live without them. They make you laugh and smile, and they make your heart feel full."

Usagi gave the small feline a knowing smile. "Are you in love with Artemis?"

She swore that Luna was blushing beneath her shiny black coat. "Very much so."

"And do you love me?"

"Sometimes," the cat answered with a grin.

"Oh, Luna," she laughed, picking the cat up and bringing her to her chest.

"Why do you ask, Usagi-chan? I'm sure you know how it feels. You've been in love since you were 14. In fact, I remember a time when I asked you something similar."

She stroked the back of Luna's head and laid her head back, looking up at the ceiling once again. She thought back to being sixteen, sharing kisses with Mamoru in the park that made her feel like she was melting. But even then, as evil loomed over them (as it always did), their relationship took a backseat to saving the world.

Luna's rhythmic purring was comforting. "I know, I was just thinking about something I heard someone say today."

As she and Luna laid together on the couch, snuggling in comfortable silence, Usagi continued to think to herself. She thought of the love she had for the people on Earth, the love she had for her family, and the love she had for her friends. She would do anything for them. She would give her life, and she had many times, if she had to. That was easy to understand.

But when she closed her eyes and tried to picture the person in the universe who she couldn't live without - the one who made her laugh, smile, and made her heart feel full - it wasn't the man she expected.