Hi, everyone! I hate to give things away, but there is a sexual situation in this chapter. It's not very explicit, but to be safer (rather than sorry), I went ahead and changed the rating from T to M.

Thank you again for all your kind comments, follows, and faves. :)

-Amethyst

Chapter 14: Choices

The information that Usagi learned from Sailor Pluto left her feeling lost. She felt powerless against her own mind as she rode the emotional waves that crashed within her, embracing them when they flowed and resting when they ebbed. At times the idea of an unclear future made her feel hopeful. She thought that maybe she could continue to be Tsukino Usagi without abandoning herself completely to ascend the throne and become Neo-Queen Serenity. Neo-Queen Serenity felt so foreign to her. It felt like Princess Serenity was trying to pick up where she left off and leave poor Usagi in the Tokyo of the past. They were one and different people all at once.

She had been Tsukino Usagi (and only her) for fourteen years before she had awakened.

She quite liked Usagi.

But part of her argued that she still had a responsibility to make Crystal Tokyo as perfect as possible. Why wouldn't she, after all? Didn't Earth deserve a time of peace without war, hunger, and sadness? What if Chibiusa's erasure was only a result of her current anxieties and insecurities? After all, Setsuna said that the future was a reflection of what was happening now. Maybe if she believed in herself more and got over the funk that separated her from Mamoru, they could bring Chibiusa back. She knew that when she and Mamoru married, they would undoubtedly have a child. She would love them the same no matter who they were, but if there was any chance that she could have Chibiusa...

Those thoughts would be interrupted by sudden anguish that overtook her and left her sobbing. When she missed Chibiusa and felt like her chest was on fire, the silver crystal reached out with its pulsing warmth. It enveloped her in its pure white magic, and though it couldn't speak, Usagi understood what it was trying to say.

Everything will be okay.

It was a time like that when she heard the knock at her door.

She had managed to convince herself to shower that afternoon and was now resting on her bed with damp hair and a fresh set of clothes. As she ran her thumb over the rabbit-shaped charm in her hand and stared up at the white ceiling, she chose to ignore the person at her door. However, the tapping didn't stop. With a sigh, she sat up and instinctively looked to her phone for the time. It was dead. She frowned, wondering how long it had been that way. With a great sigh, she crawled off of the bed and made her way to the door. Standing on her toes, she peeked through the small hole.

The young man who stood on the other side, dressed neatly in a button-down shirt and slacks, was someone that she didn't know. Her curiosity getting the better of her, she cracked the door just a bit and asked, "Yes?"

"Tsukino Usagi? I'm from the courier service," he said.

"Courier service?"

"Yes, I have a parcel for you from Kou Seiya. It's sensitive, so I'll need a signature."

She furrowed her brow, wondering if Seiya had been trying to get in touch with her. She remembered the texts he had sent while she was on her way to see Setsuna, and with a deep frown, realized she never responded. She took the electronic pad that the man offered and quickly signed her name before he placed a padded envelope in her hand.

She bumped the door closed with her hip as she tore the top off of the package and dipped her hand inside. What she found was a thin, clear case with one CD inside. On the top of the case was a note that said in rushed letters: final song for the album.

Her eyes were transfixed on that inanimate object for much longer than she realized. She didn't know what was on it, but suddenly it felt too heavy. She set it down on the kitchen counter and went back to her room to lie down. Once she was underneath the safety of her blanket, her eyes kept moving to ruby red incense burner on her nightstand. She had not heard from Yaten, Taiki, or the princess in quite some time, so the smell of olives was light and faded, but the object soothed her all the same. She sat up and looked to her bookshelf. Among a collection of photos was the picture of her and Seiya after his concert. He looked back at her with bright, happy eyes. Beside it, propped up against the spine of a book, was a purikura photo strip of her and Seiya they had taken. It was mostly a blur of sparkles from where she sat, but she remembered the fun they had posing in the booth together. The bottom one, with their hands gesturing in Sailor Moon's famous pose, made her laugh whenever she saw it.

Maybe Seiya was exactly what she needed right now.

This time when she got off the bed, she pulled her blanket around her shoulders, allowing it to drag behind her like the train of a wedding gown. She popped the CD into the player and then sat down on the floor in front of it, curling up with her arms around her knees. First it was silent, but then the sound of gentle guitars and a soft electronic beat began to flow through her speakers. She closed her eyes, taking in the gentleness of his voice. She let her mind run away with the imagery, and did her best to picture the girl in his song. I traced your smile in constellations, he sang. His voice distracted her from her thoughts and soothed her confused, sorrowful spirit.

And then it got to the chorus.

With blonde eyebrows jolting up toward her hairline, she quickly reached forward and pressed stop.

No, she thought. I'm misunderstanding things.

And then she let it play.

It was like a light turned on and her body began to move. Shoes were on her feet and she grabbed an item - a pink pen with a ruby crystal fastened to the top - and shoved it into her pocket. She didn't know what she would do or say when she got there, but after a bus ride and a short walk, she was looking up at the swanky apartment building that she knew Seiya lived in.

She peeked over the bushes that lined the path to the door, noting the well-dressed security guard standing there in wait.

Maybe I should call, she thought, but when she looked at her phone, she was reminded that it was dead. Knowing Seiya, he would have probably listed her as an approved visitor, wouldn't he? But what if he didn't? And then another thought struck her. What if someone saw her and took a picture? The idea of dealing with an upset Haruka put a frown on her lips.

With a surprised gasp, she remembered the pen she had grabbed from her apartment before she left. As she looked over the object, she couldn't even remember what she was thinking when she grabbed it. Though her decision to go to Seiya's was impulsive, something inside of her knew she'd probably need the pen.

Raising the magical item into the air, she said in a loud whisper, "Moon Power! Turn me into a brunette pizza delivery girl!"

Magic and bright light swirled around her. When the transformation was done, she looked down at herself. She wore a red and black uniform with a black apron and a red cap. The most impressive part, however, was the rich, chocolate-brown hair that hung just past her ears. A warm insulated bag was now in her hands, and she hoped it was actually full of pizza.

The security guard was looking curiously down the path when Usagi emerged (perhaps looking for the source of that strange white light). Walking up to the door, she said confidently, "I have a delivery for Kou-san."

The man looked to his clipboard. "He didn't tell me he was expecting anyone," he said sternly.

"Well, he definitely ordered this pizza," she said, a haughty tone in her voice. "If I don't deliver this in time I'll get in trouble."

He hesitated for a moment and then nodded, opening the door. "The elevator is at the end of that hallway. Don't dawdle."

When she reached his door, she knocked gently and waited with bated breath. She hoped it was the right place, after all. She had never been there, but after plenty of time spent shopping with Seiya and hearing him recite his address for deliveries, she felt pretty sure.

After a few moments, she heard the light padding of feet and heard the metal clicking of the lock.

The musician stood in the doorway in just a pair of pajama pants and eyed the woman curiously.

"Yes?"

When he looked into her eyes, the surprise slowly registered on his face.

"Odango?" He asked, confused. His eyes were focused on the hair that framed her face.

"I'm ready to talk."

"I tried calling and texting you," he said, frowning. His eyes looked tired and sad. She cursed herself for not responding to him.

"My phone died," she offered meekly.

He cocked his head, his eyes on the warm bag in her hand. With curiosity, he asked, "Is there really pizza in there?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe? If you let me in we can find out."

Seiya stepped aside and opened the door wider for her to enter. She looked around the large apartment, admiring the hard wood floors and modern-looking furniture. There were colorful pieces of art on the walls, a little potted plant near the balcony door, and a guitar resting on the sofa. Through the large, floor-to-ceiling windows of the apartment, she could see the sky above the city beginning to turn shades of orange and purple as the sun began to set. As she rested the pizza onto the table, he asked softly:

"Did you listen to it?"

The song replayed in her memory, filling her chest with warmth. She closed the distance between them and took his face in her small, soft hands. He gently wrapped his own hands around her slender wrists, holding on to her as their blue eyes locked on one another.

"It was beautiful," she said, her whispered voice full of awe. "But that's not the only reason I'm here."

"I'm sorry about what happened, Usagi-chan," he murmured. "You were drunk and I shouldn't have-"

"Shh, Seiya, no. You didn't do anything wrong. It was my fault, so please don't feel guilty," she said, looking into his dark eyes. The sadness and guilt she saw within them made her want to cry.

Confidently, she leaned in and pressed her lips to his, pressing her body closer when she felt him respond. They stood there for some time, locked in a heated kiss. He stepped forward slowly, backing her up until she could feel the decorative end table pressing against her bottom. Sensing her discomfort, he held her by the hips and lifted her onto the table. Swiftly, she reached behind her and shoved the pizza box to the floor, making space for herself as he set her down. Her hands were in his hair, clinging to him as heat pooled in her belly.

She couldn't stop herself from noticing that where Mamoru was tender and careful, Seiya was playful and impatient. As he kissed down the side of her neck, his teeth caught her skin in gentle, playful tugs, and at times, his hands gripped her hips so tightly she knew it would bruise tomorrow. With her head resting back against the cold wall, she let out a soft, pleasured sigh. She'd never been kissed like this before, and she wanted more.

When she arched her back and pushed her hips forward, she felt him pause.

"How far do you want this to go?" His voice was strained and breathy. She could feel the heat of his words against her neck. Her thoughts were all mashed together in one puddle, but she knew what she wanted. With her blue, lusty gaze focused intently on Seiya, she hooked her legs around his waist and pressed herself toward him. She didn't know where this sudden burst of confidence came from, but it was intoxicating.

He brought his lips back to hers, and she assumed that he understood her answer.

Between kisses she urged gently, "I want our first time to be in your bed."

"Okay, but… we can't take this back, Usagi-chan," Seiya whispered. "This changes everything."

She nodded, her chest heaving with shallow breaths. "I know. I want this, Seiya-kun."

His concerned eyes searched hers frantically, perhaps looking for any shred of doubt or uncertainty.

"Okay," he whispered. "Then I need you to do one thing for me."

"What is it?"

"I need you to take this wig off. This is so weird, I want to see you," he said before reaching up to pull on her brown hair. With a grimace, she complained loudly, "Oww, Seiya! It's not a wig!"

"Oh! Sorry."

When Seiya laid Usagi back onto the silky dark-colored sheets, with lips locked in a heavy kiss and hands touching every bit of each other that they could reach, she had already dropped the magical disguise. Dressed in a simple pink bra and panties, her clothes law strewn across the musician's floor.

Painted in the orange light from the setting sun outside the window, she arched upwards, wanting nothing more than to be closer to him. She was lost in the pleasure that swelled within her body, but thankfully she found clarity for long enough to ask a very important question.

"Condom?" She murmured against his lips, hoping he could understand her.

He kissed her again, full and long, lingering before he begrudgingly pulled away. He leaned over to his nightstand and opened the drawer, pulling out an unopened box and tossing it onto the bed beside them.

She looked over at the sound of foiled packets rattling in the cardboard box and raised an eyebrow. "Who were all those for?"

He laughed and gave her a kiss, murmuring against her lips, "It's a good idea to be prepared. It's not even open, I promise."

"Have you done this before?" She asked with a curious gaze. She tipped her head back and closed her eyes, focusing on the feel of his lips on her throat.

"Yes, haven't you?" Seiya answered, his tone playful.

Her laughter vibrated in her throat, though it was interrupted by a soft gasp. "Well, yes, but have you done this before as a boy?"

He mumbled an affirmative, hands teasing the sensitive skin of her inner thigh. They inched higher...

With a strained voice, she tried to ask, "Who did you-"

"Shhh," Seiya murmured against her skin. "I don't want to talk about anyone else but you right now."

She had a million questions that she wanted to ask just then, but decided that she could interrogate him later. Instead, she closed her eyes and surrendered herself to his kiss, willing her mind to stop thinking and to just focus on the touches and sounds from the man who hovered above her.

When he paused, looking down at her with adoring eyes, she fought the urge to cover her face.

"What is it?" She asked shyly, a blush tinting her nose.

"Your hair looks like sunlight," he murmured, a hand brushing her bangs away from her face. His eyes were full of admiration as he looked into her eyes and whispered, "You really are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

The intensity of his gaze and the sincerity of his words sent a shiver of excitement down her spine.

"Kiss me," she urged.

Usagi promised herself that she wouldn't compare, but she couldn't help it. She thought of what sex was like with Mamoru. It was loving and gentle; slow and tender. He treated her like a delicate princess that could break if he wasn't too careful. She wasn't sure what to expect after having only been with one person, but everything about Seiya was so different. The angles of his body and the sounds that came from his lips were different. The most striking difference, she thought, was his energy. He was unafraid to move her, to grip her, or to make things more than what they were a moment ago. He was playful with his teasing touches and sexy smiles. And every so often, in moments of tenderness and attentiveness, he'd ask her softly, "Is this okay?"

She would answer with a hurried nod and a gasping, pleasured voice. "Yes," she murmured. "It's perfect."

When the sun had fully set and the pair was spent, they laid comfortably together in a tangle of limbs. The only light was the moonlight streaming through the window, but they had been in that darkness for so long that she could see everything. As Usagi slid her fingers through his blue-black hair, which she had loosened during their love-making, she admired its shine and found pleasure in the way it mingled with her light blonde locks.

"I never answered your first letter," Usagi whispered into the dark. Seiya opened an eye to peer down at the woman he held in his arms. His fingertips drew soft designs on her peachy shoulder. "You did, silly," he mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of her messy hair. "You thanked us for the burner."

"No," she said quietly, as if not to wake anyone. "You asked me if you were able to carve out a special part in my heart."

Seiya sucked in a quick breath. She guessed that he hadn't expected her to ever bring that up.

"Odango, I didn't-"

Usagi looked up and gently pressed her fingertips against Seiya's soft lips. "Seiya, I don't really know how to explain my relationship with Mamoru to you. Sometimes I don't know if I love him because I love him or if I love him because I'm supposed to."

"I don't understand," he said hesitantly, looking at her with confusion. There was something else there, in his eyes and in his voice. Insecurity?

"Thousands of years ago, there existed a time in this solar system called the Silver Millennium. I was sort of there. I was the princess of the Moon and Mamoru was the prince of the Earth. We were in love, but it was forbidden. Even so, when the Moon Kingdom was attacked, he died protecting her. Me." She sighed. "I remember these things now, but I don't feel them. It's like seeing a movie that someone else made. I know what it looks like but I don't feel like I was a part of it."

Her eyes were far away for a moment, but then she remembered what she was talking about. "My mother from that lifetime - Queen Serenity - sent Princess Serenity, Prince Endymion, and their guardians to Earth to be reincarnated. I didn't have any memories of that until I was fourteen. I had met Mamo before I was awakened and even though there was a spark between us, I don't think it's because we connected. I think Serenity and Endymion were trying to find each other."

"Did you fall in love with him right away?"

"God, no. We couldn't stand each other. He was such a jerk to me and I hated him for it. He used to pick on me all the time for no reason. But it was different for Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon." She smiled softly, thinking wistfully of those memories. "Endymion and Serenity are with us when we are transformed, so naturally, they reached out to each other. Sometimes I don't feel like we fit at all and sometimes I think he's the only one. It's so confusing."

She paused but Seiya did not interject. He seemed to be listening, trying to understand. Usagi felt rather guilty, lying naked in Seiya's arms recounting her romantic history with the man she was cheating on, but she knew it was important to explain. Her life was so complicated in ways that her friends knew about on the surface but didn't understand the impact of.

"Our daughter came from the future because she needed help." She was not deterred by Seiya's gasp. "We ended up going to the future too and meeting ourselves. Our future selves - King Endymion and Neo-Queen Serenity - were ruling this perfect kingdom called Crystal Tokyo. It was like a second Silver Millenium. It was perfect, Seiya. The world was peaceful and mostly everyone was happy."

"Time travel is forbidden," was all that Seiya said. His voice sounded harder than Usagi had expected. She couldn't tell if it was jealousy, or perhaps the Sailor Guardian in him who placed an importance on following such important rules.

"I know, and now I understand why," she answered sadly.

She turned her head to look him in the eye. "You were right when you said that it sounded like a political marriage. There's always been this expectation that I have to marry Mamoru because if I don't, then I may not become the queen of Crystal Tokyo and our world won't experience that wonderful future. But I know now this thinking is a mistake. Crystal Tokyo has never been my motivation, if I'm being honest. For me, it's always been Chibiusa. If had not known the amazing daughter that we would have…" She paused to take a deep breath, wiping the tears as they fell from her eyes. The grief twisted her heart and she couldn't finish her sentence. Old anger flared within her.

"Pluto shouldn't have allowed that to happen. Chibiusa shouldn't have been allowed to come here and spend so much time with us. I don't know what the Queen was thinking by sending her to me!"

Usagi closed her eyes and leaned into the feel of Seiya pressing comforting kisses into her hair. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to talk about this, and I know it's confusing. There's a point to all of this." Though she was reluctant to leave his warmth, Usagi sat up. Resting a hand on Seiya's chest, she looked down at him, her blonde hair framing her face.

"You and I didn't know each other in a past life. Our connection isn't about some princess that I shared a soul with a thousand years ago. It's just about you and me. You fought for me until you thought you couldn't do it anymore and then you pushed more because you wanted to protect me. You like the Tsukino Usagi who lives here and now. I don't feel like you're waiting for me to turn into someone else, and I don't feel like I need to be someone else for you to accept me." She could feel the tears falling, and she quickly wiped them away before they could splash onto his chest. "You asked me if I could ever find a place for you in my heart, and I just want you to know that I did. You're in my heart, Seiya-kun. You've been there for a long time."

Three words tickled the back of Usagi's throat, but she knew she couldn't say them. But as Seiya covered her lips with hers, she found herself screaming them in her head. As he lowered her back onto the bed and she felt the warmth of his body against hers, she wished that the night would never end.

Later, once their panting had quieted and their hearts had calmed, Usagi lay with her body curved against Seiya, her back to his chest and his arm draped over her protectively. As she felt his steady breathing against the back of her neck, her mind replayed the song that had filled her living room earlier that day. She had only heard it once, but the words of the chorus were burned in her memory.

"Seiya-kun?"

"Mmm?"

"Will you sing that song to me?" She asked in a whisper.

It took him so long to start that she thought he had fallen asleep, but suddenly in the darkness, Seiya's gentle voice began to sing in a slow and sleepy way:

I want to be there when you wake up in the morning

I want to dance with you underneath the stars

I know you're safe, in his arms

Far away and out of harm

But I need to say

I still feel the same as I did that day

With closed eyes and a calm heart, Usagi focused on the sound of his voice. It was like a gentle touch, and she soon found herself dozing.

Her guilt would have to wait until tomorrow.