Ramen Doodles

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Naruto or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.

Author's Note: When I have writer's block, I often write a lot of random snippets of ideas, omakes, and continuations of other author's ideas that kind of petered out. As I'm afflicted with a bit of writer's block regarding Key Through the Heart (again), I've decided I'm not going to leave you guys in the lurch. Therefore, enjoy some writing I've been doing over at The Fanfiction Forum.

Here's a brief bit from a Star Trek/Naruto idea I had, for the movie coming out soon.

"Commbadge signature recognized. Please state your designation."

Naruto looked around in disbelief. One moment, he'd been fiddling around with the 'badge' from his inheritance, and the next he was...

Where was he?

"Uh... Hello? Who said that?" Naruto asked, looking around the dark, metal-lined room with a strange glowing platform he'd found. That strange female voice sounded through the small room once again.

"The Verbal Computer Interface of the USS Namikaze."

"Namikaze? USS?" Naruto asked, baffled as he stepped off the glowing platform and headed for what appeared to be the doors. They slid open, startling the boy but only momentarily. He poked his head out of the doors and looked around a long, dark hallway.

"Please rephrase a single question," the 'computer' said again. Naruto frowned.

"What is the USS Namikaze?" He asked. The computer beeped, and Naruto gawked as a part of the dark wall nearby lit up, displaying an image of a... Well, he assumed it was the Namikaze. It looked like a large dinner plate connected to a bottle by a forward-swept pylon, with two back-swept wings holding up bizarre pontoon-looking things.

"The USS Namikaze, NCC-1931, is a Constitution-class starship. Employed by the Starfleet of the United Federation of Planets," the computer recited. "Commissioned on Stardate 8210.3, this vessel has been in service for ninety-five standard years."

What the-?! This ship's older than the Hokage?! Naruto thought in disbelief. He shook his head. "Okay, so... How did I get here?"

It took a few hours, and the computer to explain a lot of things, but Naruto was finally figuring out a few key points. One, he'd somehow been 'transported' onto a 'starship' that was in 'orbit' of his world. Naruto hadn't really paid much attention to science lectures at the Academy, and they hadn't really covered much regarding the stars aside from some tricks of navigation, but now Naruto was finding out that his world was just part of a much, much bigger universe. He couldn't even see Konoha from how high up the ship was through one of the windows he'd managed to find.

What had happened to the Namikaze was pretty sobering-Apparently she had met some space pirates twenty years ago, and while she had defeated all of the ships she had been too badly damaged for her crew to remain. So the survivors had rigged her to orbit the planet in low-power mode while they went down to it's surface. The fact that it had stayed up and mostly working for twenty years was just plain amazing to Naruto, who couldn't conceive of twenty years.

Naruto made his way towards a "Jefferies tube". Apparently the Namikaze had some sort of elevator system to get around, but this was offline. The computer indicated that the main control room (or "bridge") was where he could bring some of the ship's systems online-Though it warned it hadn't been properly maintained and several systems, including the warp drive, were offline and wouldn't work again without extensive repair.

Naruto made a few clones to go down to Main Engineering to see if they could figure out how to make repairs. Sure, he hadn't the slightest clue how most of these systems worked, but he was determined to learn. The fact that there was an entire universe out there just waiting to be explored, with incredible things to learn and know and see, was enough to make Naruto rethink his goal of becoming Hokage.

Maybe this Federation had a Hokage leading it...? He decided to find out.

Reaching the bridge, he went to a console the computer designated the "tactical console" (whatever that meant), and blinked at the bright lights as it came online. Unable to make heads or tails of the interface, Naruto scanned around until he found a few controls that seemed to have something to do with "photon torpedoes."

"What the heck is a torpedo, anyway?" Naruto mumbled. The ship seemed to have about thirty of them left. Running a finger down the console as he read various controls, he accidentally pressed a button. Naruto's eyes widened as the ship lightly shook in time with a beep from the console.

"Oh boy... What did I do, what did I do?! Computer, what did I just do?!" Naruto shouted.

"You have just fired a photon torpedo," the computer stated in it's usual emotionless tone.

"And what does it do?"

"It is a tactical weapon, a matter/anti-matter missile with a variable yield and advanced targeting system, designed for ship-to-ship and ship-to-surface engagements."

Naruto gulped.

"And... Where is this torpedo going?"

"It has locked onto a random target on the surface of the planet," the computer replied promptly. Naruto looked at the targeting screen. He paled as he saw that the torpedo was headed for somewhere in the Elemental Countries.

"Oh shit, oh shit! Computer! Stop the torpedo! Redirect it! Anything!"

"Unable to comply, necessary systems for that operation are offline."

"Oh man..." Naruto winced. "Please don't let it hit Konoha, please don't let it hit Konoha...!"

Down on the surface, Pein of Amegakure looked down upon his village with an approving expression. His efforts to build his forces and spread fear among the populace were doing well, and his organization Akatsuki had already captured five of the nine-tailed beasts. He allowed himself a satisfied smile. All was going according to plan.

"Pein-sama," his companion Konan spoke. He glanced at her, seeing that she was looking up at the sky. Pein followed her gaze and frowned at the glowing orange star that had appeared in the night-time sky, in a particular constellation.

"What is that?" She asked.

"That is the constellation Amaterasu," he replied. Konan glared at him.

"No, I mean that," she indicated with a pointed finger. Pein shrugged.

"I do not know..."

The star grew bigger and bigger, and a loud whistling sound could be heard. Pein's eyes widened just before it changed course, falling straight for the village.

"Quickly! Run! RUN-!"

The star exploded above the village, and Pein's warning went unheard over the loud explosion that dug out a crater the diameter of the former village.

Up on the Namikaze, Naruto gaped in disbelief at the destruction just one of the torpedoes had caused.

"Note to self... No more pressing random buttons..."

Heheheheh…