Boy oh boy, it took me a while to get around to writing this chapter! life certainly has a way of throwing everything at you at once, doesn't it! I'm trying not to be hard on myself for not getting this out sooner. I have to remind myself that this is a hobby and not stress about it or it will probably cease to be fun. Please bare with me if it there's a wait between chapters! I promise I have to story all planned out and I WILL finish it!I hope you enjoy!

EPOV

It was late when I finally arrived home. The apartment was pitch black, only a dim light coming from the clock on the microwave. It usually felt like Maria was here somehow, like she was around the corner or about to walk through the door. It had felt like she haunted our home since she died, but it felt truly empty now.

Once I had arrived in Chicago I realised how hard a choice leaving was going to be to follow through with. For the first week that I was back I was in a mental and emotional tailspin. What was I really doing? Was I actually about to uproot my entire life and move across the country for a woman? A woman I didn't even know! It was insane. I had seen a stranger in the lobby of the hospital that looked identical to my dead wife, and I was… what? Going to go find her? Was I a stalker who could manipulate a woman into some sort of relationship? Is that what I was doing?

I knew it was a horrible idea that would only end in pain. Either mine or hers. Most likely both. She would think I only wanted to know her because of the way she looked. That I was replacing my wife. It would be the ultimate betrayal of trust when the truth came out. And it would come out. People liked to think they could compartmentalise their lives, and I'm sure some people could. For a time, anyway. One thing you learn when you're married to a lawyer is that the truth will always be found out. And trying to hide a woman who looked identical to your dead wife seemed like a tall order when you had a family as nosey as I did.

But even though it was destined for disaster, I kept remembering the searing heat I had felt when we locked eyes as I passed her and her friend. She seemed to have felt it too, if the deep blush that spread across her face was any indication. The intense pull I still felt seemed even more insane than the idea of moving back itself. How could anyone feel something so intense, so raw and true, and stay completely sane?

After everything, after the last year from hell, had I finally snapped?

For days I kept bouncing between reasons why I should go and why I should stay in Chicago. It started to give me mental whiplash. While I hated how much of a stalker it would make me, the pull to find Bella again was strong. I wanted to find her, but if I did I would be betraying my wife?

My family's arguments also rang in my head. They wanted me to move back, so wouldn't I be doing what's best for everyone if I did? I had to admit that they were right. I hadn't felt happy, or anything really, for a very long time. Living so far away from the people I loved had left me isolated. I had isolated myself. Even though it would hurt to leave, the memories I had of Maria and my life here weren't attached to the place and they would come with me no matter where I went.

The idea of having my family to support me sounded pretty good as well. There had been days, possibly even weeks, over the last year where I hadn't left the apartment or talked to anyone because I had no one to go see. My family had always been close, if we were in the same city there was no way they would allow me to become so cut off again. If she didn't see me for a few days I'm sure my Mom would show up in the middle of the night just to check I hadn't been murdered.

After days of the whirlpool in my own mind, I was exhausted. My brain was so preoccupied, I hadn't been working. I was coming up to a deadline and I hadn't even gotten through half the composition I was working on. I wasn't eating properly, and the fact that I hadn't left the apartment since I came back from Seattle meant I looked sickly and pale. My usually full-bodied hair sat limply against my head, topping off my horrible look in a greasy mess. With every day that passed I looked more and more like a zombie.

Lying in bed, once again sleepless, I stared at the empty space beside me wondering what Maria would think about all of this. What would she have wanted to do if she had seen Bella that day? She would probably have gone right up to her. And even if she hadn't, no one would think you were a stalker for tracking down your own doppelganger. There was also the fact that if Maria were alive, I wouldn't be thinking of following through on these feelings. Would I?

But Maria wasn't here. She will never meet Bella. She will never get to the bottom of their identical appearance. Of course, she would have wanted to find out if it was just a coincidence or if they were related, if they were twins. She had always said there was a part of her that had felt empty, missing. There was a void that existed inside children of adoption, or anyone that had unanswered questions about where they had come from. She died and would never know this missing link in the mystery of her birth.

It was then that it struck me. Maria had died in an unusual way. A medical anomaly, the coroner had said. It could have been a genetic abnormality that Maria wasn't aware of because she had been adopted. There are no medical records for her birth mother, let alone her birth father or their whole families. If Bella is Maria's identical twin shouldn't she be told about the possibility of a pre-existing genetic condition? She might have no idea that there could be a time bomb waiting to go off inside her head. By finding her I could warn her. I could tell her all about Maria and convince her that she needs to see a doctor as soon as possible.

All the other arguments and rationalisations melted away, my mind settling for the first time in days. The other reasons for moving back were still there, but the guilt and disgust at myself had faded into the background. I now had a reason to find Bella that didn't revolve around the intense draw I had towards her. I could be saving her life. Nothing could be more worthy than that.

With my mind quiet, my body relaxed, and I was finally able to fall into a restful sleep. I hadn't been sleeping well since before my trip back to Seattle for the anniversary, being too anxious to really settle. It was probably one of the reasons I had been so high strung the entire time I was there. No wonder my parents had waited until after the memorial to bring up their concerns. My temper would have ignited so quickly I probably would have burnt the house down.

After that emotional rollercoaster and a week of internal battling, I succumbed quickly to the darkness. I didn't wake up until after eleven the next morning, lying in exactly the same position I had been in when I fell asleep. I couldn't remember the last time I'd made it through the night uninterrupted. I hadn't dreamt. No nightmares plagued me. I'm sure if anyone had been watching me, they would have thought I had died in my sleep too.

That thought unsettled me. I'd have to make sure to get a new bed when I moved. Maybe I needed to get rid of everything that didn't hold deep sentimental value and start fresh.

After I had showered, and drunk at least two cups of coffee, I called the real estate agent who had helped us buy the apartment in the first place, Phil. He was surprised to hear I was moving so far on such short notice but assured me that he would come by in the next day or so to take photos and get the ball rolling. Phil said it probably wouldn't take long to receive an offer, as the building was in a highly desired area, had secure entry, parking and a concierge, but the escrow period may draw the process out for a few months. I told him that that wouldn't matter, that I just wanted to have it sold as soon as it could be organised.

Next I called the executive producer of the latest game I'd been composing for - the latest instalment in a series of games based on famous vampires, with this one focused on Count Dracula. I hadn't gotten anywhere near the amount of work done in the week I'd been home, and there was no way I was going to make my upcoming deadline. I explained that I was organising a cross country move and had fallen behind, asking for a few extra days to get everything done. Thankfully there had been delays in other departments so he gave me an extra week, which was more than enough time to do what I needed to.

The days following blended together and melted away quickly. I spent much of the time at my keyboard and computer getting my composition finished so I could concentrate on everything else that needed dealing with before I made it to Seattle. Luckily I was good at my job and it came together much more quickly than I assumed it would. Phil came by with paperwork and to take the new photos of the apartment. I had to explain to him about what happened to Maria, which shocked him to say the least. He did say that there was no reason we would need to disclose a natural death at the property, of which I was extremely thankful. Apparently he was confident he could sell it quickly as he had some clients that were already looking at places in the area, so as soon as my lawyer had looked over the contracts he could start showing people the apartment.

Going through everything we owned was the hardest part. I had already decided that I wouldn't keep any of the larger furniture, though I would be keeping my favourite armchair that lived in my office. I began by sorting through all the books we had accumulated. Maria had been an avid reader, so there were many titles I had never seen before. After a few hours of painstakingly sorting just one of the bookshelves, I remembered her talk animatedly about something called the KonMari Method in which you only keep things that make you feel joyful. From then on I made sure to only keep items that touched me, that I wanted to bring with me into this new chapter. I didn't pay attention to whether it was originally mine or Maria's, just if it was something I wanted to hold onto going forward.

I made quick work sorting through everything, until there were piles all over the apartment of items that needed to be packed. There were some things that were Marias that I knew I couldn't just throw away, but also couldn't bare myself to keep. Those things were put straight into a box that I would give Eleazar and Carmen. They would want her things, these last pieces of her.

It took nearly six weeks to organise everything for my move back to Seattle. It hadn't been my intention to keep it secret from my family, but there never seemed to be the right way or the right time to say something. Eventually, it was obvious I would need to tell them because I would need somewhere to stay until I found my own place to live in the city. I knew my father would be happy at the idea his talk worked and I hoped the idea of house hunting and decorating would be enough to mollify my mother. To say they were shocked when I told them would be an understatement. It was understandable really, given that after the buyer had submitted an offer on the apartment I was only giving them eleven days notice.

When Alice found out she tried to rip my head off over the phone. I had to explain to her that it wasn't as an impulsive decision as it might seem and that I had been organising it all for the past month.

"What the hell, Edward?!" she shrieked, making the speaker on my phone vibrate uncomfortably. "Why are you only just telling us now? What made you change your mind so suddenly?"

This was the question I was dreading, though I'm now glad I could answer it without her seeing my wince. My parents had easily accepted my return and didn't question me when I told them it was spurred on by our conversations before I left. But Alice was more perceptive. She always seemed to know when I was lying, especially if she could read my facial expressions.

"I thought about what you all said before I came home," I said with as much conviction as I could muster. Thinking quickly, I tried a tactic that usually worked - flattery. "You said yourself that I wasn't happy here, and when I came back I knew you were right."

"I think there's more to it than you're telling us. You can trust me, big brother," Alice said sceptically.

"Trust that I'm telling you the truth, Ali." It was only part of the truth, but I wasn't ready to tell her about Bella yet. "When I came back here the apartment actually felt empty. Cold and sad. That's how I felt for a year. I didn't want to face it, but talking to Mom and Dad and you made me see that I hadn't been hiding it as well as I thought, and I don't want to feel like this anymore."

There was a pause on the other end. "Okay," she capitulated softly. "If that's all you want to tell us, then that's what I'll have to believe. But for the record, I will get the full truth out of you one way or another."

It was probably the best I was going to get with her on the subject, so I quickly changed topics and distracted her with questions about the best suburbs in Seattle to live in these days. It was one of the many reasons I loved my sister - she let things drop if there was something she enjoyed talking about more. She spent the next forty minutes giving me a detailed pro and con list of all the trendy neighbourhoods, even going so far as to start a list of places I should look at when I arrived and sharing it with our mother for her expert opinion.

It was hard to come to terms with leaving Chicago, but I knew it was for the best. There was nothing left for me here. There was more to this world than the despair I had been feeling for so long, and it was time I went out there and try to find it.

~oOo~

Living with my parents again was an adjustment. I hadn't lived at home since I was a teenager, and I found myself reverting back into a version of seventeen year old self without even realising it. I had only been here a week and I was already moping around like a hormonal slob, sleeping till mid morning and spending my free days whiling away on the piano or in front of the television. I had a few small projects for work, but they really only occupied my time for a few hours at most.

I did venture out a couple times to see some places with a real estate agent, which Mom insisted she tag along for. There were a few promising places that I put applications in for, but according to the agent it may take a few weeks to find and be approved for somewhere. This of course made me groan and my mother smile.

"You can stay with us as long as you need, Darling," Mom said as she rubbed circles on my back, smiling up at me with love. "You know we love having you home."

I smiled back, patting her arm. I didn't want to tell her that if I stayed with them for too long I'd go a little batty. As much as I loved my family, and appreciated everything they do for me, I needed my own space away from them and their ability to stick their noses in where they weren't wanted. It would be harder to look for Bella if I was constantly worried I would be found out. Privacy was key.

That didn't stop me from thinking about her, or how I could find her, all the time. Whenever my brain wasn't actively occupied it was thinking about Bella. The way she looked that day, standing by herself in the lobby. The way she looked at me. The shock in her eyes when our gazes met, and the blush that rose up from her neck to color her cheeks. I replayed those few minutes over and over again.

I didn't know what I was going to do to find her. All I had to go on was her first name, what she looked like, and the fact that she had a friend named Rose that worked at the hospital. What was I going to do, type 'Bella' into Google and hope for the best? If this were in a tv show or movie the character would probably hire a private investigator, or randomly see them again on the street and follow them. Both of those options were way too creepy for me, let alone improbable.

I found myself visiting the hospital in the hopes that I would see her friend Rose. I don't really know why I was doing it because what was I going to do if I actually saw her. Walk up to her and say, "Excuse me, I'm not an insane, murdering stalker but could you give your friend I saw briefly once my phone number?" That was a sure-fire to get kicked in the balls and a restraining order slipped on you.

I just sat against the far wall in the lobby where I could easily see both the entrance and the elevators and watched people coming in and out. I don't know how long I sat there watching the ebb and flow of the hospital. It must have been hours because when I looked at my phone I saw it was coming up to the time my father would normally be finishing. All I accomplished was feeling like a reprobate. Someone staked out on a mission to catch their prey. I quickly left before Dad caught me here or I worked myself back into the state I was in my first week back in Chicago.

I didn't return to the hospital for three days, partly because of work commitments but mostly because I was still disgusted with myself. I felt lost and confused. My plans to find

Bella so I could tell her about the possibility she might have an unknown medical disorder felt flimsy now that I was in Seattle and actually trying to track her down. It would be so easy for her or my family to get the wrong ideas about my motives.

Not only was I afraid my family wouldn't understand what I was doing, I was starting to not understand it myself. I couldn't very well spend all my time wandering the halls of the hospital and hoping that the universe would provide me with a solution. As I walked through the sliding doors into the lobby I told myself this would be the last time. After today, the only reason I should have to come here should be to see my father or if I was strapped to a gurney.

I walked past the corner I had sat in last time and headed towards the elevators. I had to think more logically, otherwise allowing myself this visit would have been for nothing. The night before, as I had once again been going over my brief encounter with Bella, I remembered thinking that the pink scrubs her friend Rose had been wearing must have meant she worked on the labour and delivery ward. It was a long shot, but if that was where she worked there might be something I could use to help me find her, which would in turn lead me to Bella.

My stomach was in knots as I rode the four floors up. I watched the numbers nervously, biting my fingernails absent-mindedly. When the doors opened on the fourth floor I moved forward to leave. An older woman who had been watching me threw me an encouraging look, obviously misinterpreting my nerves and thinking I was getting off to go and experience the joys of new life. It was like I could feel her cheerful thoughts, and it made me feel sick once more.

The hallway was quiet, with muffled noises coming from different rooms along the hall. I could see the nurses station at the other corner and headed towards it. Hopefully there would be someone sitting there and I could try and turn on the charm. It used to work well for me, which had always made Maria laugh, though I hadn't tried to flirt my way into anything in a long while.

Unfortunately, the nurses station was empty. I surreptitiously looked over the desk in the hopes that I could see a roster or something with names on it, but there was nothing. Stupid privacy precautions. I was just about to leave when a nurse came around the corner and behind the desk.

"Can I help you?" she asked, smiling up at me. She was pretty, with her curly afro pulled back into two buns. She looked open and friendly, and she was currently my only hope and finding anything today.

"Um… yeah. I'm actually looking for someone," I said nervously. So far not that charming.

"Oh, sure! What's their name and I can tell you what room they're in." Her smile widened as she sat down at the computer and looked up at me expectantly.

"Ah," I struggled to find the right way to word my question. "I'm actually looking for a nurse. Her name is Rose." My heart was pounding in my chest. What was I doing? This was so wrong!

A look of recognition crossed her face and my stomach jumped into my throat. "Do you mean…"

"Edward?"

My head snapped up at hearing my name interrupt what the nurse was saying. Standing about fifteen feet down the hallway with a bewildered look on her face was none other than my sister.

Uh oh...

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