Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Elementary

The hats are received just as I would have suspected them to be. Percy refuses to acknowledge our existence when we are wearing them. He's taken to staring at his shoes and walking hurriedly away whenever he sees us. As if he's trying to hide the fact that we are related. Impossible though. Considering our family's trademark hair color. Flitwick awarded Fred and George five house points when they explained to him what they were for. Not their real purpose; the cushioning charm excuse we had given McGonagall. I adamantly refused to wear it in Arithmancy. Fred and George will never need to know. And I am too far away from Quirrell to be in any danger. So, it's fine. It's fine and Pucey will never have to see me in pink. Though, he has seen me wearing the stupid hat. We are in the same DADA class after all, and then he'd seen me at mealtimes too... But you know what, the setting is important. He would have only seen me wearing the hat with Fred and George. Hopefully, he's marked it down as something that I got roped into instead of me being a willing participant.

Since the last class, McGonagall had been ignoring us as we remained seated in the back of her classroom. Quirrell has been taking a similar approach. On Friday, he had refused to make eye contact with us. We didn't even get a comment from him about the hats. He never even looked over at the Gryffindor side of the classroom. Fred, George, and I had no clue what we should make of his behavior. The only class we cannot wear them in is Snape's. He saw them once and threatened to throw us out of the classroom if we didn't remove them. I was surprised he didn't confiscate them. The garish hats seemed to be personally offensive to him. I had no problem removing my pink hat. Pink has always been more of Ginny's thing than mine. Fred and George had tried to give Snape the same sob story they've been telling everyone who's asked about the hats. Instead of offering us assurances that it wouldn't happen again, Snape sneered as if wishful and said, "We'll just have to risk it".

But we managed to finish our first week as third-years without any more mishaps. We even managed to spend our free period on Thursday researching what we should do about Scabbers. However, now that it is Saturday, I know today is the perfect chance to get back at my fellow triplets for the sleeping charm. Good intentions aside.

Saturday afternoons in Gryffindor tower tend to be quiet affairs. At this time of day, all the Gryffindors have woken up and the majority of them are somewhere else in the castle or mucking about on the grounds. And if you were on the Gryffindor quidditch team, you were currently getting murdered by Wood as he made his players run drills for hours on end. Despite his team currently lacking a seeker. However, I had seen Ron's schedule. I knew the first-years' flying class would start next week. So, that problem would be remedied soon.

Ron was sitting on the common room floor by the couches with Harry; a chessboard between them. He was trying to explain the game to the four-eyes. But Harry seemed to be more enthralled with the moving pieces than with the rules. "Hello boys," I said, dropping down on the red velvet couch they were sitting in front of.

Harry looked up and smiled, but seemed too uncomfortable to do anything else as he looked back down onto the board. But Ron openly stares at me. He's been doing that a lot as of late. Though whether it is due to Jessie or the hat Fred and George have been making me wear, I am unsure. A moment passes of the two of us just staring at each other. While Harry tries to come up with a move. "You're not wearing that hat". Ron said after a while.

"No," I agreed, as Harry instructed one of his pawns to move forward. "I don't need it in the common room. No one is going to attack me here". Ron seemed unsure of my answer, but that didn't stop him from slaughtering Harry's rook with his knight. Throughout the week Fred, George, and I had worked on slipping into causal conversations that my fit had been caused by a legilimency attack. The Hogwarts gossip chain took control from there and soon the attack was common knowledge. I knew some of the older students, who knew more about legilimency, had questions about why I would have such a poor reaction to magic that should be undetectable in most cases. But so far everyone has been considerate enough to keep their distance. I'm not ready for Jessie to become common knowledge. Originally, I intended that only Fred and George would know about my past life.

"Err," Harry spoke up. Looking a bit shy as he drew Ron's and my attention to him. "Did someone really try to read your mind?" He had the courage to ask, chess game forgotten. It's just as well. Ron would have won in two more moves.

"Yeah". I said, leaning forward on the couch to be closer to the two boys. I balance my elbows on my knees and lower my back as if I'm about to tell them a secret. But in reality, I just know how to hold the attention of an audience. One learns these things when they have six brothers and one sister to compete with. "But whoever it was didn't do it right. Which is why I had a seizure". Harry hung on to my every word. Mind reading, even though that is not legilimency, was something that muggles always fantasized about. So, I know where he is coming from. Ron, on the other hand, looks a bit bored. Apparently, a collapsing sister is only interesting on the day that it happens. "But I didn't come over here to talk about that". I said, directly changing the topic. "I need your help". And then I turn to Harry. "Yours too, if you want to come along". Harry smiles at me in return, acting as if I had just offered him the last chocolate frog. Truly attention-starved, this boy. If he's acting like that before even asking what I need help with.

Ron, however; has been raised to know better. "With what?" He asked, eyebrows slanted in suspicion.

I grin at my little brother and his friend. "Revenge".

Harry seems taken back at my admittance. I wonder what he thought I was going to say.

But Ron isn't even a little shaken. "On who?" he asked before he thought about it a little. "Percy?"

I shake my head. No, Percy rarely gets on my nerves. I find his notions of propriety more amusing than annoying. Unlike some people. "Fred and George".

Ron looks baffled. It's fair. Fred, George, and I are rarely at odds. We have our little tiffs that get worked out through witty banter and a good night's sleep. The last real fight we had was during Christmas, 1985 when I had replaced the contents of their stockings with coal (another reference that no one got). Nine-year-old Fred and George hadn't been remotely amused. It led to one of the biggest food fights that the Burrow has ever seen. And I wouldn't say we are going through a fight right now. But I can't let them get away with using a sleeping charm on me. What kind of brothers magically put their triplet to sleep? "What did they do?" Ron asked.

I clicked my tongue. "Something that I can't forgive without a little help," I said as smoothly as I could. At Ron's skeptical glance I add on, "Come on! It'll be fun. If there's any trouble, I'll take all the blame. And isn't there something you would like to get payback for? What about the time Fred and George turned your teddy bear into a spider?" I mean, technically speaking, I played a part in that too. But Ron doesn't need to know that.

Ron deflates a little. He looks over at his new best friend. "Harry?" He asked for his opinion.

"What would we have to do?" Harry asked me.

"We'll need to collect a lot of pond scum or slime or just gross mushy things in general. Then we'll need to put them inside a lot of water balloons in the owlery." I said, describing my plan very vaguely. If the boys choose not to help me, it's better if they don't know all the details of my plan.

"The owlery?" Ron asked, baffled. I don't blame him. What could pond scum possibly have to do with the owlery? I nod at him to show that he got it right. "And you promise to take all of the blame if we're caught?" Another nod on my part. I want Fred and George to know exactly who is responsible. After the fact of course. Ron shakes his head before looking at Harry. Silently asking his friend if he wants to take part. At Harry's eager nod, Ron said, "fine".

"Cool," I said, popping up to my feet. "I'll meet the two of you by the exit in just a minute". I said as I ran for the girls' dorms.

"Why?" Ron called after me.

"I need to get my hat!" I yelled over my shoulder.

Two hours later, the three of us were squatting in the owlery with three buckets filled with either pond scum or slime that may have been magically conjured, and a pile of empty unused water balloons. "So, why are we doing this?" Ron asked when we were all set to fill the water balloons. The water balloons were surprisingly not difficult to acquire. I just had to find one (which I did, at the bottom of George's trunk. Hopefully he won't notice it missing) and then cast gemino on it enough times until I had an ample amount of water balloons.

I finished tying off one balloon before answering. "We'll fill all these balloons with enough scum or slime to make sure they'll burst upon impact. Then we'll use the school owls to deliver them. We'll tell the owls to drop them on Fred and George as they are the recipients. The most important thing about this is the timing. The goal is to make sure that the owls we use drop the balloons during the evening post", I explained to the two eleven-year-olds as they diligently worked on their own balloons. If the prank can occur with the evening post, then there will be a big audience to watch Fred and George being pelted with pond scum and slime. Mayhem is always so much more enjoyable when there's a spectating crowd. Of course, the one downside to all of this is that I won't be able to see it happen. But this is a sacrifice you make for a good prank.

"Evening post" Ron muttered to himself as he started a new balloon. "But we'll miss dinner!" He exclaimed once it all clicked. Good to know my little brother has his priorities straight.

"Don't worry" I placated. "Do you think I would let you go hungry? What kind of big sister would I be?" Ron looks like he would very much like to answer my rhetorical question. So, I quickly keep on talking so he can't. "Afterwards I'll take you and Harry down to the kitchen. You can eat as much as you want, and then you'll know how to get to the kitchens". That appeased Ron fast enough.

Harry maintained silence for the majority of the water balloon stuffing. He seemed happy enough; smiling as Ron bantered back and forth with me. But he ultimately seemed unsure of how he could participate. It made me wonder. When would Harry come out of his shell? From Jessie's memories, I don't recall Harry being shy. But the books did follow Harry's perspective. And in the first book, he kind of stuck to his year mates. Maybe he would be more open once he started quidditch, or befriended Hermione.

"So, how are classes?" I asked as we were almost finished with the balloons. After this, we would have to start lining up the school owls. I don't think that will be too hard. For the past half-hour, the owls have been peering down at us from their perches and hooting with intrigue. Hedwig, Harry's owl, even flew down to sit on his shoulder as he worked.

"We got lost on the first day". Harry piped up. Clearly, classes were something he felt comfortable talking about. "Made us late to McGonagall's class".

"We've all been lost at some point," I said. In a school with 142 staircases that move, I'd be more surprised if there was a person who never got lost. Damn, Jessie remembers the weirdest things. 142 staircases? Who needs to know that?

Ron looked up at me as he tied off another balloon. "Snape's a git". He said simply.

I laughed a short laugh. "You nailed that one on the head. 75% of the student population would agree with you", I said. "But don't mind him too much. He's like that with everyone unless you are in-"

"Slytherin" both boys finished for me.

"It's not fair" Ron continued as Harry reached from the last empty water balloon. "He takes away points for the stupidest things. Like squeezing", Ron said with disgust leaking from his voice. "But then awards Slytherin if they manage to spell their names right". I nod along, letting Ron complain as I finish my last balloon. All Gryffindors felt the same way our first year. Best to just let it out. "Slytherins" Ron sneered, face twisting into an ugly scowl. "They're the worst type I tell you. Strutting about like their gifts to the world."

"Ron," I said, stopping what was looking up to be a very impressive rant. "Have you met every Slytherin currently living?"

"No," Ron said as shoots me an incredulous look. While Harry merely looks curious.

"Then how do you know they are all bad?"

Ron doesn't answer immediately. I can see him thinking through the question. But this is Ron. He's nearly as stubborn as Mum. He'll find a way to refute me. "But they are always going on about blood purity and old money. And they don't like muggleborns!" Ron said, doing a good job at listing off everything he picked up on from listening to Mum, Dad, Bill, and Charlie.

Harry was studying Ron very closely. I had forgotten how much Harry relied on Ron to make sense of the wizarding world. Maybe I shouldn't be having this conversation with my younger brother. Especially in front of Harry. But I don't want him growing up to be narrow-minded. I'm sure if there is any consequence to this conversation it won't be a big one. "Who's they?" I asked Ron.

"Purebloods" is his automatic response.

"We're purebloods, and I thought we liked muggleborns".

Ron flushed scarlet. "But we're in Gryffindor so we're good purebloods!" But then he reframed himself. "You're only saying all of this because the bloke you like is in Slytherin."

Taken back, I give Ron a searching look. How the hell did he know that? I mean, how did he know I was constantly being teased about liking a boy in Slytherin house? Who I do not actually like... in the way that they are implying. Cough. "All I'm saying is that you should judge people as individuals and not as groups. Can you do that?" I asked Ron, who slowly nodded at me. But I am surprised when Harry agrees as well.

"But Malfoy is still a right prat," Ron said, needing to have the final word.

I'll allow it. "Yeah, Malfoy is a prat". But only because it's true.

At around eight o'clock, I found myself making my way back to Gryffindor tower alone. The owls had been more than willing to drop off the balloons for me one by one. Hedwig even ended up taking a few herself. She seemed to enjoy it if the gleam in her golden eyes were anything to go off on. Harry and Ron proved to be great partners in crime. I may have to consider recruiting them in the future. That is, if Fred and George don't figure out who helped me and then scare them off.

As promised, I led the two first-years to the kitchens where we enjoyed a nice meal of Cornish game hens and roasted veggies. All the while listening to the house-elves comment on the swampy, slimy mess that had occurred in the great hall. Which was our first sign that our prank had been successful. I left the boys in the kitchen once I was full. They decided they would gorge themselves on dessert before heading back to the tower. The house-elves were absolutely thrilled at the prospect of baking for two very complementary students. Based on how much Ron eats, I won't be surprised if the house elves tried to adopt him before the year was out.

The second sign that the prank was a success came in the form of Fred and George themselves. They were standing in an alcove a little way away from the Fat Lady's portrait; waiting. I wouldn't have seen them at all if they hadn't made themselves known. "Jolly Holly" Fred sing-songed as he and George cut off my path to the common room.

At the first sight of them, I started sputtering with a laugh caught in my throat. Their robes were covered with head-to-toe splotches of pond gunk and slime. Green goop clung to their skin and hair, and they seemed to be absolutely soaked. Soon, I worked myself into a full-blown laugh. There were even little drops of sludge dripping off of the hems of their robes and onto the stone floor of Hogwarts. I was laughing so hard that It was getting difficult to breathe. A minute in and I was hunched over and wheezing between rounds of laughter. Merlin, why hadn't I done this sooner? Miraculously, however; the red and blue hats on top of their heads were spit-spot clean. I wonder how that happened. Though they did smell very strongly of residue that one would find inside a used cauldron. "We missed you at dinner," George said evenly as he and Fred walked closer.

I take a step back for good measure. "I decided to eat in the kitchens," I said, laughing through my nose in an attempt to calm myself down. I had one hand wrapped around my stomach. Its muscles were starting to hurt from all the laughing.

"Oh," said Fred with a raised eyebrow. "That's too bad. You missed quite the show at dinner".

"Yeah. Fred and I were really popular" George said as the two of them took another step forward. "We got a lot of owls in the evening post".

"A whole flock really". At this point, my fellow triplets had backed me up into a wall and were effectively blocking all exits.

"But it was the strangest thing" George goes on to say. "They were all carrying water balloons".

"Which they dropped on us", Fred clarified.

"And none of the balloons were filled with water".

"Remarkably", Fred said, fluxing his voice to suggest just how unremarkable it really was. "All of the owls that had a water balloon, except one, was a school owl".

"Which makes us think that the balloons weren't from individual people".

"But one person," Fred and George said in sync.

"Now who do we know, George, who wasn't at dinner?" Fred asked. Face absolutely blank.

"The very same person, Fred, who usually tells us where she's going to be" George finished.

I look at Fred who stares straight back at me. Then I look at George who is doing the same. A terse moment passes of the three of us just staring at each other. A couple of sixth-year Gryffindors walk past us, but they don't comment. After sharing a house with us for about two years, they've grown accustomed to wandering across incidences like this. They had to; for the sake of their own survival. Once the sixth-year Gryffindors are in the clear, I break first. A new wave of laughter hits me. It started by bubbling in my chest, causing my shoulders to shake. Soon, I was laughing loud enough that it could be heard echoing off the ceilings. I had to lean against the wall behind me for support. Fred and George join in not long after. Laughing uproariously as they thumped each other on the backs and slapped their knees. The stony expressions on their faces completely vanished.

"That was a good one, Holls", George said as he wiped an imaginary tear from under his left eye. We had calmed down to the point of panting. All of us, trying to catch our breath.

"We've never been prouder" Fred tacked on.

"So, are we forgiven?" George asked once we were all capable of standing up straight.

I nod. "As long as you promise not to use a sleeping charm on me again". I said, holding up one finger as if giving them a warning. Both boys nod solemnly. "Then you're forgiven, as soon as you take a shower". I said. Because they really do stink. Pond scum is far from perfume after all.

Fred and George share a look between them before they hold out their holds. "Hug it out first?" Fred asked.

I fervently shake my head. "Don't you dare!" I said as both my brothers stepped forward. With there being a wall behind me, I had no way of escaping. And soon I was pulled into a very sticky, slimy, smelly Weasley sandwich. "Ugh" I complained as my brothers' grip tightened and they rubbed their dirty green cheeks against my own. "Now we all need showers".

As the three of us completed the walk to the Fat Lady's portrait, smelly like a swamp, George asked. "So how did you do it, Holls?"

With one finger, I pushed up my pink Sherlock Holmes hat by the front flap. "Elementary, my dear George". I said, dropping another reference that they won't understand.