I did it again! I planned so much for one chapter but had to stop after I'd written what I thought would be just ONE scene. Nope! Turned out to be the whole chapter!

I hope you enjoy it!

BPOV

"When did you turn into an influencer girl?" Angela laughed, taking a sip from her coffee as I tried to get a good photo of mine. We had gotten together to catch up before group counselling the last couple of weeks, and today the caffeine was more necessary than usual. The school day had been long, and I was running on empty.

I had found the cafe, L(art)te, my second week of coming to the counselling sessions at the university. I had been early after catching the bus over after school and had been in desperate need of caffeine then, too. Not only was the cafe close to the library on campus where the sessions were held, but they did the most amazing latte art. The coffee was delicious and each time I came they did something completely different in the foam on top.

"Shut up," I laughed back. "It's cool and I'm boring. I've got to have something to put on Instagram now and then." It was unfortunately true that lately I had become a bit boring. I went to work, I went home, I spent time with the same people, and went to the same places. Besides the fact that I could be an emotional wreck, there wasn't much interesting about me these days.

Angela just smiled from behind her cup, covering her giggles as best she could. As always, the coffee was delicious. I'd also gotten one of their chocolate chip cookies to get me through until I could go home and have dinner. It was the size of my hand, so I would probably be having some of it for dessert as well.

We sat talking about how work was today while we finished our coffee and treats. Angela loved to hear stories about the crazy things that happen at school. I can't blame her. It always seemed to be both infuriating and absurdly hilarious. I in turn loved to hear about the crazy things she had to put up with while working as a student editor through the library. The things students felt at liberty to say and demand when they asked her to edit their horribly written papers last minute was astounding. It always made me feel a little better about working with teenagers.

It was close to six thirty when we started making our way to the meeting rooms at the library. The meeting wasn't meant to start until seven, but everyone usually arrived a bit early so we tended to start around six forty-five. Luckily it wasn't raining, which for Seattle in September was a miracle. It was actually quite warm, and we quickly made a stop by Angela's car to drop off my jacket and bag. Before coming to meet me Angela had picked up the keys for the room she had booked, so we headed straight down the hall and let ourselves in. We continued to chat happily while we got down six chairs and arranged them into a circle.

"I'm just going to run to the bathroom," Angela said as she ducked out of the door just as Tanya strolled in, looking at her phone.

"Hi," she said, going straight to one of the chairs, sitting down, and crossing her legs, all without looking up.

"Hi, Tanya. How are you this week?" I asked in a polite tone that I hoped didn't sound forced. The girl was twenty-three and a complete tramp. She had driven off our group's first counsellor by hitting on him incessantly until he was so uncomfortable he asked Angela if he could switch groups with her. If I didn't know Tanya was in grad school studying Commerce, I would think she was a bimbo. Her strawberry blonde hair was always expertly quaffed and her too perfect features indicated a lot of time and a ton of makeup probably went into her appearance. Her large breasts always seemed to be moments away from escaping her top, not that the rest of her clothes left much to the imagination. More than anything, I just found her grating.

Still without looking up from her phone, she simply replied "Good, thanks." Then continued to ignore me.

Thankfully Judy and Frank came in and we fell into companionable conversation. Mitch came in soon after, also taking a seat. Judy and Frank were the two I was closest to in the group, having the most in common. Angela really encouraged us to build a support system of people who share similar experiences to help each other heal. Judy was a small woman with mousy blonde hair in her late forties. She was motherly and kind, which was something I wasn't that familiar with so when we were first introduced I had been a little tense around her. Frank was a lovely old man in his seventies, thinning hair, thick glasses and hiked up pants to boot. He had lost his wife many years ago and still found it hard to spend each day without her. Frank's loneliness reminded me a little of what I had imagined my Dad's future could have been if he hadn't started dating sue. It was actually a huge comfort to know that on dark days I had people to turn to who would come from a place of understanding.

"Good evening, everyone. Shall we take a seat and get started?" Angela called as she strolled back into the room. We all moved to the remaining chairs which had seemed to have become designated seats over the last few weeks. "I wanted us to talk tonight about the ways we can, or have, honored our loved ones. Whether that's in big ways or in small. These acts, or celebrations, help us hold on to our good memories and can feel like we are doing something for them, also. At least, that's how I like to look at it. Would anyone like to share an experience or their thoughts about what it means to honor our loved ones?"

After a beat of silence Judy spoke up. "We had a memorial for Kyle on his first birthday after he died. I couldn't bear to have it on the anniversary of his death. It would have felt like celebrating all of the bad things he went through, instead of his life."

"Was it a joyful experience, his birthday?" Angela asked.

"Yes," Judy said with a tremulous smile. "It has always been a day to celebrate his life, and it always will be."

Angela nodded and smiled kindly. "Was it just that first year you celebrated him on his birthday instead, or have you kept up that tradition?"

"We still do it on his birthday," replied Judy. "Though the anniversary has gotten a little easier each year."

"Yes, that first year can be one of the most difficult. Was there anyone else who found the first anniversary particularly tough?" While the question was addressed to the whole group, she looked to me first. I nodded, noticing all but Tanya did as well. She just looked slightly bored. Keeping her eyes on me, Angela asked "Were you able to find a way to celebrate Jake, even though it was hard?"

"Honestly, and this might sound selfish, but I just tried to put it out of my mind and treat it like a normal day. I did buy sunflowers though. I used to think of Jake as my personal sun, and seeing the flowers reminded me of him," I said, a little wistful. "It was actually the next day that was the hardest." My throat was tight again, thinking of the crushing emptiness I had felt the day after the anniversary of Jacob's death. Tears in my eyes, I looked away in an effort to gather myself.

It was then that I saw him.

At first I thought I was hallucinating. I had been dreaming of him, his beautiful face, and his piercing green eyes, since I'd seen him two months ago. I had only seen him for ten seconds, but each night I saw him with perfect clarity. It was like he had been seared into my brain. In my dreams his eyes would lock with mine and my body would begin to burn. More than once I'd woken up sweaty.

His face was framed by the small window set in the door. For a moment he seemed like nothing more than a painting by a renaissance master. And then he looked at me. It was what I imagined being trapped by Medusa must feel like before you turned to stone. For the first time in my life, I felt the blood drain from my face instead of flush it.

I must have missed what Angela had asked me, because she followed my distracted gaze and the next thing I knew she was walking towards the door.

"You decided to come in after all," Angela greeted him as she ushered him into the room and pulled down a chair for him. While he looked uncomfortable, like he wanted to be anywhere else but here, he still sat down looking nervously around the room. "We were talking about ways we can or have honored those we've lost, but before we continue on I think we should welcome our newcomer and introduce ourselves. Welcome…"

Though he had been haunting me almost every night, this would be the first time I would hear him say anything. I was more nervous than I should be, and I held my breath in anticipation. He cleared his throat and quietly said "Edward".

Edward. It suited him perfectly. His name, like him, seemed to be straight out of a classic romance. I could imagine him as a Byronic hero, stalking the Moors while brooding and searching for his lost love. Or dazzling some innocent beauty in her first season at a ball, but ultimately falling in love with her and taking her home to his resplendent country estate. No doubt these new thoughts about him would invade my dreams tonight.

Angela introduced herself as the one leading the group sessions and before she was even able to pass to someone, Tanya was ready to jump forward and present herself to Edward. Tanya always seemed a little fake, but the way she overtly flirted with him while talking about the traumatic loss of her two best friends made me wonder if she was ever truly real with people. Edward looked incredibly tense in response to Tanya, muttering "sorry" as he crossed his arms over his chest and avoided looking anywhere near her.

As Judy and Frank told their stories, I steeled myself to tell my own. This certainly wasn't the first time I'd shared my story to this group, but it felt different tonight. This man had been a figment of my imagination, a fantasy, for months now, and the idea of baring my pain in front of him was daunting. I drew strength from my friend's courage as they introduced themselves.

Before I had fully pulled myself together, it was my turn. Like a magnet, my eyes moved to Edward and it was like the first time all over again. His bright green orbs stunned me, and an electric current seemed to vibrate across my skin. Taking a deep breath, I centred myself.

"My name is Bella. Two and a half years ago I lost my son from a complication during pregnancy." I had to pause momentarily, as talking about my son at all still rubbed at the healing emotional wound. "And just over a year ago I lost my fiance, Jake, in a car accident." I quickly turned away to hide my tears from him. The emptiness I felt at their loss had begun to creep up and overwhelm me.

I was too distracted to hear Mitch talking about his brother, Daniel, who had died in combat in Afghanistan. My mind kept drifting to what Edward might think of me. Would he think I was too damaged? That I carried too much emotional baggage? Would it stop…

Stop what? What did I think was going to happen between him and I? I had spent two months building up a stranger in my head and I had no idea what he was actually like. He was here for a reason wasn't he? Then didn't he have his own baggage to carry? He certainly wasn't here to find me and sweep me off my feet like the version of him in my dreams often did.

A moment of silence broke me from my thoughts, and I noticed everyone looking toward Edward, who also seemed to have zoned out a little. He soon noticed and looked embarrassedly around.

"Oh, um, sorry. My name is Edward," he stuttered as he reintroduced himself. It was endearing that someone as handsome as him could be so socially awkward, and I couldn't help a small smile though I tried to hide it. "Fourteen months ago, my wife Maria died from a brain aneurysm in her sleep." That wiped any trace of the smile off my face and I involuntarily gasped. Edward kept his eyes down as he took a breath before he continued. "Even though I was sleeping right next to her when it happened, they said I wouldn't have been able to do anything to save her. I recently moved back to Seattle to be with my family because they were concerned I wasn't doing well being by myself."

I was thoroughly shocked. I couldn't imagine the horror of waking up to the love of your life dead beside you, yet I did know the helplessness he must have felt. That he must still be feeling to bring him to these meetings. A medical anomaly I could do nothing about had torn my son from me, leaving me feeling helpless and out of control. When Jake had died I had been unconscious in the seat next to him. When help had finally arrived, Jake was already gone. Nobody knew if he had died quickly or if he suffered through his final moments with no one to help or comfort him. The pain and guilt I felt when I woke up days later was immense, though everyone told me there was nothing I could have done.

"Where were you living before you moved back?" Angela asked him.

"Chicago," he replied. "We lived there for seven years before she died."

"It must have been tough being so far away from your family at such a difficult time. I'm sure they are happy to be close and be able to support you." Angela always had a way of bringing the conversation back to the need for support during the difficult times.

"Yes" was all he said in response. His eyes drifted to me and I was once again trapped in his emerald stare. I tried to show him how much I understood what he'd had to live through. That the pain that clawed at his soul also lashed at mine. That here he had found a kinship, not just as part of this group, but in me.

The idea of Edward having me sent the blood rushing to my cheeks in mortification. I ducked my head and hid behind my hair, hoping that he hadn't seen my embarrassment and misinterpreted it.

I listened intently for the remainder of the meeting, though I didn't contribute much. I wasn't usually this quiet, so Angela kept throwing me odd looks. But I was too preoccupied in trying to observe Edward inconspicuously and finding out as much as I could about him. Not that he said much outside of answering direct questions. He, too, had found it hard to get through the first anniversary of his wife's death. Yes, his family had done something on that day. No, he didn't do other things to rejoice in memories of her, it was still too hard. The only time he elaborated was to talk about the donation his in-laws had made in her name to a scholarship at the college they had attended. These things may have been unimportant to someone else, but I collected them like it was the most fascinating information I'd ever heard. It added to the picture I'd been building of him for months.

When the meeting ended everyone moved to start putting the room back in order except Edward, who seemed a little spaced-out, and Tanya, who turned towards him in her seat and crossed her legs in what I can only assume she thought was a very 'Basic Instinct' move. I tried to ignore them; I really did. But the room wasn't big, and it was impossible to not listen in.

"You know," Tanya said in her most sultry voice. "If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here for you." My anger flared. How dare she! He had come here to work through his grief after losing the love of his life, for heaven's sake. He didn't need some floozy coming on to him!

I couldn't fight the small grin that escaped when I saw him jump up in discomfort, quickly grabbing his chair and moving to stack it with the others. He didn't want Tanya. She was making him ill at ease, though she definitely wasn't seeing that.

"I could give you my number and we could get a drink sometime," she said as she followed him with her own chair.

"I don't think so," he responded curtly, taking her chair from her, and stacking it too.

Even though he was facing away from her, Tanya fluffed her hair and pushed out her chest. "Oh, come on. It could be fun." She wasn't going to give up unless someone stepped in to derail her. Before I even knew what I was doing I was walking towards them.

"That's not really what I'm looking for right now," Edward said with a slight edge of annoyance, just as I walked up behind him.

"Hey," I said softly, trying not to startle him. Tanya shot me a dirty look as Edward turned around so fast it was almost inhuman. As soon as I looked into his eyes again my mind went blank, so I just stood there like an idiot waiting for either of them to say something.

Edward broke the silence with a quick "Hi", but he didn't break the eye contact that now seemed to have caught us both in a trap. Was there a possibility he was just as affected by me as I was by him?

Tanya huffed, realising that she wasn't going to get any further with Edward tonight, and broke the spell that had me frozen in his gaze. I watched her as she walked away thankful for the reprieve from the growing energy I felt between Edward and me.

"Sorry," I tried to laugh off as I turned back to him. "I thought you might need rescuing from her. It's like she uses this group as Tinder to pick up emotionally vulnerable guys, or something."

Edward shuddered, visibly disgusted. "Well, that's disturbing on so many levels."

I couldn't help but snicker. "It's more disgusting watching her keep trying."

He laughed at that. A rich yet musical chuckle that seemed to vibrate through me and cause my entire body to erupt in goosebumps. I felt stunned again. As the silence grew, so did the energy I felt.

I knew that soon this moment with him would be over, but I didn't want it to be. I wanted to keep him here, talk to him. Discover his secrets, his passions, the things he hated. I wanted to know him, but I didn't know how to begin. I had never been a particularly forward person, with most of my friends being ones I'd made so long ago I couldn't even remember how we met anymore, or because a situation had forced us together long enough to become friends. I didn't know how to begin a friendly conversation with a stranger in the hopes of getting to know them.

But I wanted to know Edward. I had so many questions I wanted to ask him. I wanted to solve some of the theories I'd come up with about who the beautiful stranger at the hospital was. If I wanted to know, I'd have to start somewhere. And preferably in a place that didn't make me sound like an obsessive creeper

"So, this might seem weird," I started. "But have we ever met before because you look very familiar?" Playing dumb felt a little close to lying, but it was definitely the safest avenue.

"Um," Edward seemed to struggle for a moment. "No, I can't say we've ever met before. But you do look awfully familiar."

He did remember me! I did an internal fist pump. We may have only seen each other for ten seconds, but it seems I'd made enough of an impression for him to still remember me after two months, if only vaguely.

Trying to put the right words together, I pushed on. "I feel like I saw you at Harborview Hospital once. Not that I'm a stalker!" My excitement was making me ramble. "It's just that I remember seeing you, for some reason, and I was very surprised to see you show up here as well. Not that I'm calling you a stalker either." I chuckled nervously, hoping that I'd be able to shut up soon.

I needn't have worried about what else I might say because Edward suddenly went very tense, his eyes flashing up. I wondered if I had offended him in some way, but before I could ask he had bolted out the door.

What had I done?

Please let me know what you thought!

We'll be sticking with Bella for the next chapter, and seeing how she deals with their first proper meeting.