Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
The Wonder Weasleys
We spoke too soon about Rita Skeeter not getting her hands on the Pettigrew story. The next morning at the great hall, we learned that the story was just too good to pass up. Fred and George were about to blow a gasket, they were laughing so hard. Me, on the other hand, was ready to bury myself ten feet under the ground and never come out again. Today's Daily Prophet headline is, "Wonder Weasleys Discover Mouse Man; Is he a Mouse or a Man?" It read;
Intrigue swept the nation when a mysterious mouse man was uncovered at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry by the Wonder Weasleys. One can only wonder how such a lapse in security allowed for this to occur at a school. However, breaking news has occurred. I'm Rita Skeeter and I am here to provide my dear readers with all the juicy details. The intruder at Hogwarts was exposed by Fred, George, and Holly Weasley. The siblings were actually acting as the mouse man's owners, unbeknownst to them that they were harboring a grown wizard. He was revealed quite accidentally during a class project by his young owners, the Wonder Weasleys. It is a fitting name for such ambitious young wizards and witch because they had uncovered the mouse man in a display of a reversal spell that is above their year level. At least Hogwarts is doing something right.
Once the mouse man was removed from the school, aurors spent many hours searching for and confirming the identity of our rogue animagus. He is none other than Peter Pettigrew! For those who remember the name Peter Pettigrew, you will be wondering how that is possible. Ten years ago, Peter Pettigrew was claimed as dead after being massacred by notorious mass murderer Sirius Black along with twelve muggles. At the time, all the wizarding world had of Pettigrew was a finger, and it was assumed that the rest of him had been blasted to smithereens along with the muggles. However, that appears to not be the case. The mysterious mouse man is missing a finger. The same type of finger that was found at the scene of the crime many years ago. It took aurors casting facial recognition spells between old school photos of Pettigrew and the mouse man, and comparing magical cores before a positive identification occurred. Once he is fit to stand trial, Pettigrew will be charged with unlawful animagus transformation. No words as of yet from the Wonder Weasleys' parents if they will press charges against Pettigrew for trespassing. But are those the only crimes Pettigrew is guilty of?
With the information that Pettigrew had not been killed many have started to question if the deranged Sirius Black is truly at fault for the massacre of twelve muggles all those years ago. The plot thickens with the knowledge that Black was sentenced to life in Azkaban without a trial. The ministry is in upheaval as citizens fear for the protection of their rights. If it can happen to a member of the noble house of Black, it can happen to any of us. I can only assume that the ministry will have to release Black if they have any chance to make up for this legal blunder.
But enough about Black. Let's focus on the mouse man. The intrigue continues during his stay at St. Mungos. Pettigrew has been a curiosity to all healers on staff. How has Pettigrew maintained his animagus form for so long without losing all sense of his humanity? Animagus expert, Martin Moonshine has informed me that at this point Pettigrew may be more mouse than man. The healers have been tight-lipped about the current status of Pettigrew's wellbeing. But it does leave us to wonder if a mouse can be charged with any crime. I'm Rita Skeeter, and I will be your main source of information and details as this case progresses.
"Why?" I bemoaned as Fred and George continued to die from their shared sense of humor. I aggressively shake today's paper. "Just why? She didn't even report any new details. She just sensationalized it!"
George takes a large intake of air to calm his suffocating laughter, before swinging an arm over my shoulders. I slump due to the added weight. "That's not true, Jolly Holly", he said. "She released Pettigrew's identity".
Skeeter did that. I grudgingly allowed. But she also called him a mouse instead of a rat. Probably because the alliteration sounded better. And she dramatized my brothers and my involvement. She even cut Lee out of her version of the story! "I actually like the title". Fred spoke up. "The wonder Weasleys. It has a nice ring to it. I think we should make T-shirts".
"You would" I muttered as I continued to look over the article. The biggest upset was the picture they had printed to go with it. It's not a snapshot of Pettigrew, which would have made the most logical sense. Instead, it's a photo of Fred, George, and I standing shoulder to shoulder wearing our stupid Sherlock Holmes hats. We've never even seen Rita Skeeter in person before so how was this picture possible? "How did they even get a picture of us?" I exclaimed to my brothers, feeling both violated and offended. Oh, Merlin. It was bad enough that the entire school got to see me wearing this hat, but now all the Daily Prophet readers would too. Kill me. Someone please, kill me… Actually, never mind. That's a terrible expression. I'm still having nightmares from the last time I was killed.
"I don't know, Holls", Fred answered with a badly concealed snigger. Neither Fred nor George took my dramatics very seriously. If anything, it just seemed to amuse them. As if my teenage girl problems were a source of entertainment. "But I think it makes us look intriguingly handsome".
"Or pretty in your case" George included.
"I think we might ask Mum to get it framed for us".
"We can hang it on our bedroom wall".
"As a keepsake".
I drop the paper and lean into Fred as George removes his arm from my person. "You guys are the worst", I mumbled in defeat.
"Aw", Fred said between humorous snorts. "I think we broke her, George".
"It's okay, Holls", said George, joining in. "Have some bacon. That'll fix you right up". And he proceeded to stack bacon onto my plate until it looked more like a mountain of bacon instead of a plate.
"Bacon can fix anything", Fred proclaimed.
"Eat up, you'll feel better".
"And then the picture won't even bother you".
"Soon, I bet you'll even start to like our hats". George finished, flicking the pink monstrosity that's sitting on top of my head in emphasis. These gits.
This was our first time spending the holidays at Hogwarts. Mum had always been big on having the whole family together during Christmas. So, I could only wonder what had happened to make Mum choose seeing Charlie over having the rest of us home. But it didn't bother me. I've never really understood why we even celebrate Christmas. I mean, for Jessie Christmas was a mixture of a religious holiday with the birth of Jesus, and a commercial holiday complete with Santa Claus. In the wizarding world, Christmas is just a holiday without religion or Santa Claus. But we still eat lots of food and open presents from under a tree. It makes me wonder about how the wizarding world picked up the tradition of Christmas. It would make more sense if we just celebrated Yule.
There were some benefits to the school clearing out for the winter break. Such as Lee, Fred, and George's other roommates going home. With them gone, I moved into Fred and George's dorm and had taken to sleeping in Lee's bed. After the house-elves had cleaned it, of course. I don't see the point of staying in the girls' dorm by myself when I have family close by. If I'm being completely honest, I have never slept in a room by myself. Not since I was Jessie. Since the only people in Gryffindor tower are me, my brothers, and Harry, no one cared about me changing rooms. As long as McGonagall doesn't find out it should be smooth sailing.
"Holly" George called from where he was sitting on the floor with Fred. They had the marauder's map laid out between them. Plotting out Filch's comings and goings. "Can you get our transfiguration book out of Fred's trunk?"
"Why?" I asked, looking up from the magazine I was reading on Lee's bed. Alicia had left behind a couple of issues of Teen Witch Weekly, which is the wizarding world's version of Teen Vogue. It's not really my cup of tea, though the quizzes on which quidditch ball your love would be are fun. But there was an article in the latest issue about how the Bulgarian national quidditch team had placed a fourteen-year-old boy on retainer in preparation for the 1994 quidditch world cup that I was interested in. Viktor Krum had already been recognized as being an exceptional quidditch player. And he was on reserves for the 1994 quidditch world cup because he wouldn't be old enough until then. It was good to see that some things from the future as Jessie remembered it is still shaping up to be the same.
"We need it," Fred answered in place of George.
I narrowed my eyes. "Why?" I asked again. They really could need our transfiguration book, especially if they are planning a prank on Filch. But past experiences have taught me to always question when Fred and George ask me to open things.
George rolled his eyes. "Mrs. Norris isn't going to transfigure herself, Holls." He said it like it was obvious.
"Yeah", said Fred. "We spent most of the last term on the Scabbers issue. We need to make up for lost time".
"Poor Filch has probably been missing us". George said. Though I could assure him that Filch, in no way, shape, or form, was missing us.
"And with Pucey gone," Fred added. "We have no one to play with".
I sighed deeply. Pucey had gone home for the holidays. I wonder how he was fairing with the knowledge that the man Regulus' brother had been accused of murdering was alive. "Why can't you get it yourself?"
"You're closer," the boys said in sync.
With one more hard look, I rolled off Lee's bed and took a couple of steps to Fred's trunk, leaving my magazine behind. It doesn't sound fishy. And we did just have one success in advance transfiguration magic. So, I suppose it isn't too far-reaching to want to try a spell on Mrs. Norris. That cat is one of our favorite targets. Though we usually lock her in suits of armor or charm her fur to be different colors.
Fred's trunk used to belong to Bill, and it squeaks when you open it. That's how we tell it apart from George's trunk, which was purchased at a second-hand shop. The creaking hinges sounded just as I expected them to and I leaned over to start digging for the requested book. What was unexpected was the sparkly puff of dust that exploded in my face. Fred and George roared with laughter as I started to cough. I think I might have inhaled whatever that was. Ignoring the peanut gallery currently busting a rib behind me, I look down at my person, and then swipe a hand over my forehead before looking at that too. Clinging to my clothes and skin is the very recognizable shimmering red and gold flecks. I spin around to face my brothers. "Did you really rig your trunk with a glitter bomb?" I asked Fred, although George is also equally guilty.
"As we said, Holls", George said as he and Fred reined in their mirth.
"We're making up for lost time".
I waved my arms so that I could gesture to all of me. "Why glitter? It's going to take me weeks to get this out of my hair!"
"We know," the boys said together, wearing identically pleased grins.
"That's why we chose glitter". Fred started the explanation.
"Thought it would make you look festive for the holidays".
"Would you have preferred to frog puss?"
My left eye twitches as I fight back my own giggles. There are just no words. Ugh, I should have known. Never ever open anything that Fred and George ask you to. Of course, I already knew that but decided to give them the benefit of the doubt. I thought us being triplets meant something. Pressing my lips tightly together to keep my amusement in check, I stalk towards the door. To laugh with them at my expense would only encourage them.
"Where are you going?" George called after me as I opened and stepped through the door.
"We still have Filch to mess with!" Fred yelled at my retreating back.
Professor McGonagall pinched the bridge of her nose with her eyeglasses balanced on the tip. "One day," she said before opening her eyes and glaring at us from the other side of her desk. "You three have been left to your own devices for one day. And already you've been dragged to my office for mischief!" McGonagall shook her head as if she couldn't quite accept that we were students from her house. "What does your mother do with you during breaks from school?"
I shrug with a sideways incline of my head. "She usually tries to keep us separated. And when she can't do that, she puts Ron or Percy between us. Sometimes-". George interrupted me with an elbow to my side before I could get to the part about the extra chores. Right, I get it. I shouldn't give McGonagall ideas.
McGonagall ignores my and George's interaction in favor of asking something else that was on her mind. "Do you three cause trouble like this, like changing Filch's cat yellow, at home?"
"Oh, no ma'am," Fred said in earnest.
"Mum would kill us and feed us to her chickens if we tried," said George.
I couldn't tell if their answer displeased or relieved McGonagall. Either she was happy to hear that we weren't complete terrors at home for our parents, or she was displeased that she got the worst end of us during the school year. Because, unlike Mum, she couldn't kill us and feed us to chickens. Maybe she was both displeased and relieved at the same time. I think that's possible. We are the wonder Weasleys, after all. "Why did you even feel the need to turn a cat yellow?"
We don't even have to think about it. "We were bored", we said at the same time.
"Honestly, Ma'am," Fred said. "Filch looked a bit depressed to us".
"And yellow is such a happy color", I said, doing my part.
"We thought it would cheer him up", George said with an unashamed smile.
Judging by the wrinkles around her lips, McGonagall can't decide if she wants to be amused or stern. I understand her conundrum. We are incorrigible by anyone's standards. If magical day school had been an option, I think Mum still would have found a way to send us to boarding school just to get us out of her hair. "Do you think you're setting a good example for your younger brother?" McGonagall tried to appeal to our better natures.
It's Fred's turn to shrug. "We figured that's what Percy is for".
"Since he's a role model that adults approve of". I throw in my two cents.
"Honestly Professor, he's not good for much else". George finished for us.
Silence just passes between us as we just stare at each other. McGonagall with a lot more scrutiny than us three. I think if McGonagall was a lesser educator, she would have bowed her head by now and wiped her hands of us. I wouldn't blame her if she was counting the days until our graduation. Probably half the detention slips that come across her desk are for us and Lee. "You know, you three are the only students that Mr. Filch has ever requested a restraining order against".
That perked Fred and George right up. "Really?" Fred asked as if McGonagall had just offered him a biscuit. If he and George could, they'd probably wear that restraining order like a badge of honor.
McGonagall found cause to be stern in Fred's response. Her eyes narrowed as she fixed her line of sight directly on Fred. "People wanting to avoid you isn't something you should be celebrating, Mr. Weasley".
"It is when the person is Filch". George debated.
"Mr. Filch" McGonagall corrected, replacing Fred with George as her focus. "Each of you will lose ten house points for the magic you used on Mrs. Norris and for the distress you've caused our caretaker. You will also receive detention with me for the first evening of the new term for the headache you three have caused me. And I will also be writing to your mother in the hopes that she can tell me how to best prepare you three for chicken feed".
My brothers and I snorted. McGonagall's sense of humor is very subtle, but we loved it. She's the only teacher who will match our jokes with jokes of her own. Flitwick tends to just laugh along with us. Sprout either ignores us or tells us off. And we don't have a death wish, so we never try anything with Snape, if we can avoid it. "Are you sure you want us to serve detention with you, Professor?" I asked. "On account that you said it's for giving you a headache".
McGonagall sighed, but the light in her eyes tells me the game is still on. "That thought did occur to me, Miss Weasley. But, in good conscience, I can't pass off the wonder Weasleys on any other staff member" she said sarcastically. Oh, joy. She's read Skeeter's article. "They'd never forgive me". McGonagall pauses to allow us adequate time to snigger like immature school children before continuing. "Please try to refrain from any more trouble for the rest of the holidays. Despite what you may believe, teachers like to have breaks as well".